Why Quagmire Hates Brian (with clips)

[@Terminator879x11]

That little flicker before Quagmire starts talking is perfect timing.

[@humanwreckage4563]

[there has been a disturbance]

[@anonymoususer775]

Something just snapped

[@kaj7135]

The universe couldn’t handle the incineration that Quagmire was about to do to Brian.

[@lennythesatan7747]

​@@kaj7135Too bad it is negated by one thing and it is Quagmire himself. The dude is freaking rapist and a pedophile.

[@xavierrivera3407]

@@anonymoususer775something inside of me

[@cleverhilarious20]

There you have it. One minute of Seth MacFarlane ranting on himself.

[@thesupershinymegagengar2034]

A wise man once said: "What I'm doing is wrong, I know it's wrong, but I'm going to do it anyway."

[@DarkWolf-407]

Honestly I think he just put together criticisms about himself had a character state them to the character that is him just so he could make people think he's self aware or humbling.

[@cavecade9162]

@@DarkWolf-407 Yeah probably.

[@drunkenqueen3077]

@@shanefraley827 You're spot on. Brian is being liberal and atheist, he's representing Seth's views on politics and religion and Quagmire represents people who disagreed with him.

[@BamBam-ch4vu]

@@thesupershinymegagengar2034 a man stuck in sin

[@lonewolfluke7367]

The problem is, Brian said “how can you not like me?” instead what he should’ve said was “why don’t you like me?”

[@shanefraley827]

That just goes to show you that Brian's not humble!

[@needles1987]

Because Brian is insecure.

[@adamjustadam]

It was a pretty arrogant comment

[@Supperdude9]

Yeah, they way Brian said it implied that it was Quagmires fault for not liking him, that something was wrong with Quagmire over this.

[@ShortSnapKnowledge]

That's an immediate red flags if i've ever seen one. Instead of starting with "ok, i'm sorry if any of my acts ever offended you" or something, Brian immediately gets on his high horses with that "How come you didn't like me?"

[@gabe_gamer9320]

So, to summarize... *Brian's all bark and no bite.*

[@moniquecoffman9411]

Boooooooo but for real it’s a good joke

[@sudokuacrobatics]

Yeah, unless if ass medicine is involved.

[@caitsk4te]

Yeah but he’s a dog 😂

[@SlimKim3]

​@@caitsk4teso as a dog you'd think you would also have a bite

[@NSegaStuff]

@@SlimKim3shut up, Meg

[@maromalul9134]

This scene by itself was pure gold for Quagmire's character, but the editing of background clips with proof for his answer made this so much more satisfying.

[@misstocoa2766]

My exact thoughts....much funnier 😂😂

[@mrhelitosis7564]

Quagmire saw the future. He tried to warn Brian of himself, but like every warning out there, he ignored it.

[@Beyond-Mysteries]

More like Quagmire warn Brian what Glen would become. Lol

[@FilmmakeroftheFuture]

And he didn’t even wear chains and a bandage around his jaw.🩹 ⛓️

[@montyhuckle5206]

When quagmire is calling you out you know you're bad

[@MisotheScot]

It just means the show writers are huffing something. Quagmire is a fucking despicable person. Brian is FAR better.

[@BlessO-f8z]

No it meant shit. He is literally a r***

[@coolunusual]

It's called hypocrisy. He's still far worse than Brian

[@Redemption-64]

Quagmire is a million times worse

[@johnnymanize]

Quagmire is hardly perfect himself. I could fill a book with all of his character flaws. Hell, I could write a bestselling series of all of his shortcomings.

[@GabePickles3837]

0:04 PLOT TWIST: That static was added to express Quagmire’s blind rage.

[@blacklight8626]

True!!! 😂

[@GabePickles3837]

@@blacklight8626 😅😂🤣

[@rafbot8021]

Haha yeah

[@GabePickles3837]

Holy shit. Um, thanks for all the likes, guys. 😳😊

[@RudeCustoms]

I wanted to say that I meant to do that, but in all honesty? That was purely by mistake when I was moving wires to record it from TiVo.

[@HezrouDhiaga]

Quagmire was so bitter about that question he almost broke the fourth wall with that static.

[@Sharkbayt1025]

I love this scene because Quagmire isn’t trying to 1 up Brian, or say that he’s better than Brian, he’s simply putting that Brian is no better than him or anyone else

[@HoodWeegee]

Finally someone here gets it. Quagmire is an awful person and in many ways worse than Brian, but the man knows what he is and isn’t trying to preach to anyone. Hell it took a whole episode just for Quagmire to get to this point because he was set on simply ignoring Brian’s existence. All he’s doing is knocking Brian off his high horse.

[@elroxmusic]

@@HoodWeegeehe literally is preaching in this clip and is one of the most condescending people on the show

[@HoodWeegee]

@@elroxmusic yes preaching because Brian kept bothering him the entire episode which I already said And we’ve already been over the fact that Quagmire is in many ways worse. He is the furthest thing from a saint, but he doesn’t try to act like one like Brian does

[@ergob3907]

Only he does... he literally brings up going to soup kitchens and goes "at least I'm honest" like it makes it better than him

[@spectraphantom5870]

@@ergob3907Yeah being honest about it makes it worse and everything he called Brian out on is something he did

[@redictor]

"All I've done is try to be nice to you and you still don't like me, *how* can you not like me?" By saying 'how can' instead of 'why do', Brian completely changed the question from one that says 'I do not understand your hatred towards me!' and instead comes off as a selfish 'Im perfect and everyone should like me so why are you not obeying me?'

[@kendallandrews8691]

Like George costanza and the masseuse

[@JonwithnoH0823]

Seriously. Peter told Brian that Quagmire hated him. Brian should’ve asked about the hatred and the response wouldn’t have been as cruel as this… hopefully.

[@MichaelAarons1701]

That is a very good observation I never would have read into because I was so engaged with Quagmire sticking it to the pompous asshole.

[@MichaelAarons1701]

@@kendallandrews8691 Yes…you said that above…I’m pretty sure I already read it before I replied to the OP…😐

[@kendallandrews8691]

@@MichaelAarons1701 whatever

[@Kaboomboo]

The biggest takeaway here is that Brian didn't ask _why_ Quagmire didn't like him, he asked "how can you _not_ like me?" Brian just seems to think everyone loves him and it's more weird that someone wouldn't, rather than think about why that may be.

[@FirstNameLastName3753HD]

I think it also has to do with the fact that he’s personally never really done anything to Quagmire

[@GanonGhidorah]

It might have something to do with him being _a dog._ Dogs seem to be naturally friendly and seem to crave positive attention and validation from humans. To a dog, a person _not liking them_ doesn't make sense. And it might be a view of how "dog-lovers" view dogs as such cute, hopeful and innocent things, that no one in their right mind couldn't like them. They could never conceive of any possibilities that a person might be apprehensive of dogs or even not like them; they couldn't imagine a scenario where someone say...might've been attacked by a dog at a young age, traumatizing them for life. Or possibly that a pack of wild-dogs mauled their family-cat to death, emotionally scarring them. Or that they could spend all afternoon preparing a delicious platter for a party for friends and family, only for their sister to bring their dog over, let the dog loose in their nice clean home, and the dog immediately breaks into the kitchen and destroys the hard-cooked party-platter that they spent all afternoon preparing... Nope...can't conceive of any reason to dislike or even _hate_ dogs whatsoever...

[@Studentofgosset]

"I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you"

[@redrasegarden]

I don’t think it would have mattered, the answer would have been the same.

[@nwakid123]

you stole this comment from the one literally above.

[@tylerthomas9647]

When this episode happened it was years before Brian became a modern day asshole. This is what they were way ahead of. And what quagmire saw all along.

[@TJ-fe7rr]

That's right. Soon as Quagmire said all that, it made me question what kinda person Brian is. Hahaha

[@senister14]

Yeah, at first I hated quagmire but now brian is kind of asking for it. Hows that liberal agenda doing now d bag.

[@NoriakiCuckyoin]

not really, this took place during the point where the transformation towards his current character was already like 70% complete. it began when the show got revived for season 4 (kinda like a lot of other qualities about the show), and this episode aired during season 8 iirc

[@Beyond-Mysteries]

And 10 months later your comment completely failed. 😂

[@Timelord2001]

Except that Quagmire's a flaming hypocrite. See my epistle, above.

[@minseungcha1680]

0:04 That moment of single static is like Quagmire's patience is finally snapped off

[@Tabi-Kun]

1:12 which only further worsens Brian because he’s met both Jesus and God, multiple times, and yet somehow doesn’t believe in both

[@Doyourememberthunderhead]

It's one thing to believe in God and another to know him 🙏

[@cunningsmile4166]

Its all about trust Who do ya trust? 🎶 Oooh!

[@nimbletimplekins7601]

The thing that makes this so bittersweet is we ALL know someone who is exactly like Brian in real life, always wanting to feel morally superior to everyone else, and this clip puts into words what we have all been dying to tell that person since we first met them.

[@serioussilliness2064]

Tbf, Brian lives in a house and a neighborhood full of people who give him reason to think highly of himself by comparison. Fuck what Quag said about at least honest about it, he lies to women all the time.

[@pugtie4695]

My brother

[@TheGhostofMrArthurs]

AKA modern left wing Twitter

[@southbeachtalent]

Agreed. Quagmire really has no business being self righteous whatsoever

[@pugtie4695]

@@southbeachtalent I think the whole point of this is the fact that Brian is like him but self righteous and he was sick of him pretending he wasn't.

[@Randomark3087]

This is really well made!

[@RudeCustoms]

Thank you very much. I'm just surprised McFarlane and crew didn't do it this way.

[@bigplays3798]

@@RudeCustoms nah this was genius the way you set all the scenes up they should’ve did this in the actual episode

[@warlockpaladin2261]

@@RudeCustoms They could have... and they should have. Thanks!

[@TonyFaisonAnimeFan]

@@RudeCustoms hi

[@Jackattack359]

@@RudeCustomsto be fair, it wasn’t a Brian centric episode

[@SolSnatcher]

1:31 Brian spinning in the chair completely threw me off lol

[@allisonlane3740]

Same

[@ConnorMiller417]

This is Quagmire’s best moment in Family Guy. He called out Brian in every way possible as to why he hates him. It’s not so much the things Brian has done, but the way he tries to cover up his bad behavior. As much of a hypocrite Quagmire is for when it comes to women, he’s at least honest about it and doesn’t hide the truth. Brian always tries to come up with some ridiculous claim just to get with women. Quagmire was saying exactly what we’ve all been thinking.

[@marcustrice3246]

You're right about that but that still doesn't excuse Quagmire for all the heinous sick and disgusting atrocious acts he's committed and he's got a looooonnnngggg rap sheet.

[@MythicShadow04]

@@marcustrice3246that’s the thing though, Quagmire admits here that he only dated women for their bodies, but unlike Brian he is honest about it and openly admits it. Basically, Brian is just as bad, or even worse the Quagmire.

[@HDreamer]

IIRC Quagmire has done a looot worse to woman than "dating them for their bodies"@@MythicShadow04

[@maxxymrice6200]

Lying to dumb girls is still better than being a saidistic serial rapist.

[@maxxymrice6200]

​@@MythicShadow04quagmire is worse, because serisouly lying to dimb girls is better than being a saidistic serial rapist.

[@Jackknivesreviews]

This version should have been in the original series to be honest

[@RudeCustoms]

Thanks! I remember watching the original for the first time and all those scenes just clicked in my head as to that should be there and that should be there. Which I was very surprised that MacFarlane and crew did not edit it that way. But, maybe left it for the fans to.

[@okjeffy6581]

But one of the scenes came from a later episode.

[@david2134]

I think it would have clashed with the tone of the show, they've never done something like that so it would be completely out of left field and seem out of character

[@LJ-hk4tv]

Is the viewer remembering not enough? Isn't that the point of watching a show? To have context for the rest of the show? This scene is so good because everything Glenn says actually happened.

[@matro2]

Makes it more personal being a straight scene with no editing. I can envision people criticising the scene for it being too edited or cinematic.

[@blastingsound]

This was the BIGGEST sigh of relief after over a decade lol

[@AndrewDrewJamison]

The worst part is that none of these applies to Brian in the first two or three seasons of Family Guy. They killed him.

[@BeeBN]

Would've went hard if quagmire threw in "what happened to you" or "you've only gotten worse" somewhere in there

[@raypurchase801]

@@BeeBN I respect Brian. He shot and killed the Super Devil, who's six inches taller than the regular Devil and rides a motorcycle. Gotta give credit where it's due.

[@liltmarshall8717]

He he started hitting on Lois in like season 2

[@youreverydaysaltyiowastate5602]

I love season 4 Brian

[@derekquigley5816]

I know, right? Brian used to be my favorite character, but he fell so far that when the show killed him off for a couple episodes I literally felt nothing. That's the main reason I stopped watching Family Guy.

[@theoneandonly7019]

I love the static before Quagmire starts talking, intentional or unintentional.

[@henryhoneyman1535]

0:41 I love the fact that it looks like Quaqmire’s voice is coming from Brian. By the way, you edited these clips on top of the conversation really well.

[@Randomizer-editz]

Fr

[@HughEvbuomwan]

Whether it was intentional or not, the glitch on Glen's face 0:05 is genius! It signifies how he snapped, like a short circuit, before letting out pent up feelings about Brian (Forgive me, I'm not a writer but I had to comment this.)

[@serioussilliness2064]

.

[@kalvin187douglas]

Agreed

[@Nyssine]

don't worry, brian's not a writer either

[@blastbottles]

Bravo vince

[@mrmrkeeper]

Seth is well aware of his flaws. It’s just clear that he just can’t bring himself to change them and it just shows that he rips into himself about it everyday.

[@j04370859]

Seth stopped writing the show about 13 years ago.

[@ryanward652]

I don’t understand why Quagmire hates Brian

[@Stylz2012]

@@ryanward652he literally explained why in the video

[@saxthephone]

seth stop writing the the show since 2005 and only voice acting peter, brain, stewie, and quagmire. if anything, it more the of the writers just knowing the flaws they were making from family guy and just accept it.

[@garrettl8247]

Why is anyone acting like they know a dude because he acts like other people.

[@andykishore]

The context added in makes this 10 times funnier.

[@LordTyph]

...That little 'glitch' at the end is so perfect. It's like it represents something just 'snapping' in Quagmire's brain before he unloads.

[@antoniosalieri1048]

He finally snapped

[@paulnash6944]

Giggity.

[@garthdavis4320]

This video is even better with all those clips. Next, do Meg lashing out at Peter, Lois and Chris.

[@RudeCustoms]

(Heading back to the Edit Bay)

[@skyn3945]

Where’s the video

[@skyn3945]

I check your channel for new videos but it’s not there

[@garthdavis4320]

@@skyn3945 If everyone is saying that there is no video, then somebody should make one.

[@skyn3945]

You’re right

[@TigerXtm]

Meanwhile, “Meg you 18 yet?”

[@Deadpool_64]

And peeping on Lois in the bathroom, holding Asian women hostage, using drugs to knock out women, etc

[@ryderTheHedgehog2004]

@@Deadpool_64but at least he’s honest about it

[@mac888spectral7]

And banging Cleveland's wife lol. Your comment is a year old and all 3 replies have come this week. Fascinating 🤔

[@Mienshaos]

​@@ryderTheHedgehog2004 honest about being a terrible creep?

[@ryderTheHedgehog2004]

@@Mienshaos well that’s what he’s saying

[@monstersponge9096]

the tv static before quagmire answered was actually great, almost symbolizes his mental state about to explode as he gives it to brian

[@MrPhantaze]

Thanks, this made me understand better all the points Quagmire makes

[@cookiecrumb1018]

@SupremeEgyptianGodsMan to bad quagmire hypocrite

[@vrgamer3371]

Same here besides the dating women point because admitting to bad behavior and continuing to do so arguably makes that person worse than the one that's ignorant

[@kalvin187douglas]

@@vrgamer3371truth

[@ntinosaggelopoulos6718]

Like peter said once 'I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.'

[@EmperorPenguin1217]

​@@vrgamer3371That, and Quagmire is a literal rapist

[@altimotheus819]

One of the most impressive things is that Glenn executed that entire rant about Brian without a single curse word (until the very end, of course).

[@gierer797]

this is so out of the blue, before this theres no sign of quagmire irritated by brian but i suppose they needed SOME character to call brian out like that

[@hunter_michelie4425]

tbf, Brian had sex with Quagmire's (previously) Father after they had an argument on Dan's identity. That's kind of a big "well fuck you", so there's at least the justification for doing so. Not to mention emotionally manipulating him into this discussion is pretty scummy

[@victoracosta4796]

And then they made Brian more and more of the douchebag Quagmire thinks him as.

[@xgamer560]

@@hunter_michelie4425 I mean I don’t think brain knew did he?

[@mythicbadger9855]

@@xgamer560 he didn’t

[@mythicbadger9855]

@@hunter_michelie4425 the episode where brian had sex with Ida came out after this episode.

[@COwens]

A rapist calls out a narcissist. Everyone loses.

[@DJNeon-C1990]

The worst person you know made a good point lmao

[@derekquigley5816]

It's true that Quagmire is an objectively worse person than Brian, but at least he doesn't pretend not to be a scumbag.

[@sporetv57]

@@derekquigley5816 That is what makes Brian objectively worse than Quagmire. Brian is a scumbag, sexually predatory narcissist all in one.

[@myau9912]

@@derekquigley5816 Honestly, admitting that you're fully aware of how bad you are but just don't care only makes you worse.

[@Mark-ni9ng]

​@@derekquigley5816 not really a win

[@velkonemriam1935]

I feel like this is one of those “right message, wrong messenger” moments.

[@publiusdos5925]

The joke is the worst person on Earth telling someone most of the audience sympathizes with how he's a POS and being right.

[@freezyboi1491]

"How's that son you never see?" How are those children you never see?

[@mrrpggamer2]

His daughter yeah he's definitely the one to talk

[@dangerouspepega9573]

"daddy?" "h god" escapes from the classroom and goes to special ed class "daaddyyy?" "oh god" escapes and goes to spanish class "papa?" "h god" goes to an another roon "are there kids here?" "no, just you and me" "great... You want to have unprotected sex?" "sure" "giggity!"

[@Jataro_kemuri16426]

Brian came back into his son life just to use him. Quagmire not taking care of his kids is wrong. But at least he doesn’t come back into their lives to befit himself.

[@thischannelisdead3165]

And despite that whole rant, Quagmire was still respectful enough to thank him for the steak dinner, such a classy guy, Giggity.

[@Myself-yf5do]

With how loud Quagmire was talking, I'm guessing the other people in the restaurant felt a mixture of annoyance and awkwardness.

[@TCG9777]

"How can you not like me?" [Glitch noise] Phase 2 boss fight begins now

[@fredererpower]

“I work down at the soup kitchen Brian. Never seen you down there.” *shows Brian going to the soup kitchen.*

[@ZX-Gear]

Brian ain't there by choice.

[@FirebirdPhoenix87]

I think he said he WORKED there, past tense, though that's what I heard.

[@fredererpower]

@@FirebirdPhoenix87 Nah I think it was present tense but maybe there’s a transcript of the script online you can check or something

[@FirebirdPhoenix87]

​@@fredererpower Or maybe Brian showed up when Quagmire wasn't there?

[@chloetaylor2713]

I still remember the fact that Brian tricked Quagmire into buying a shitty apartment after Quagmire had his teeth fixed for free

[@RioPheonix35555]

Yeah wonder why that isn’t brought up more

[@thatthinginyoureye]

Over a year ago when I was still in high school, my Drama teacher wanted us to show examples of monologues in fiction by putting it on the projection screen, so I went with this. Best decision ever.

[@LowTierLurker]

How did it go?

[@agedstring]

How'd it go?

[@nadisvision]

It didn’t really happened…that’s why he’s not responding.

[@thatthinginyoureye]

I'm dogshit at replying to comments on this site my bad 💀💀 my teacher and classmates loved it, it was a big surprise too because most of the people that went before me used anime scenes (nothing against that tho). I was originally gonna use a scene from the first SpongeBob movie (the speech SpongeBob gave before singing Goofy Goober Rock) but I decided to go with this instead

[@anibalcasillas7019]

I like how quagmire points out that both he and brian are shallow when it comes to dating but he's honest about it

[@crimsonmaelstrom573]

Personally, I feel like that makes Quagmire actually better than Brian. He knows how shallow he is towards women and that he’s far from perfect and freely admits it. And another thing that makes him better imo is that he helps out at the soup kitchen. Makes me want to find the closest one to me and start volunteering there

[@ainsleybrown2762]

Quagmire is a serial rapist and a paedophile… I don’t think admitting to that makes him a better person. Quagmire should be in prison.

[@JamestonBoi]

​@@crimsonmaelstrom573Ok tbf, Quagmire is a rapist and pedophile. Everything he said about Brian is true, but Glenn is still far far worse.

[@Randomizer-editz]

That is amazingly accurate 0:24

[@Youcrab]

And none are in jail for bestiality

[@raymondgallardo576]

One of the understanding, non-violent situations of MacFarlane versus MacFarlane

[@GanzoHasashi1911]

I remember hearing this rant back in the day and being like “Quagmire’s no saint himself and he’s being a hypocrite talking down to Brian like that.” But as Family Guy went on and you got to those episodes post Life of Brian, it really became clear that he was right about him and how deluded Brian is that he’s some noteworthy dude that’s only squandering his potential because he thinks he’s owed it for being different. Heck, even Brian’s first line already sums it up perfectly. “How can you not like me?” Simple Brian, because you’re a stuck up dude that complains about the world not giving you a shot when you’ve done nothing to prove why you should have one

[@flyboy6392]

For as despicable as Quagmire is, in this moment, he embodies the trope of "Jerkass has a point"

[@thewillofabeast9079]

You can thank the writers for giving everyone a statuesque

[@Rebelheart1985]

Quagmire is a hypocrite though 💀

[@Jingobingo-d4m]

@@Rebelheart1985 not really you can say he’s worse but he isn’t a hypocrite he seduces women into sex basically an addict to sex other then that he’s one of the most respectful characters on the show when you think about it he cares about his family the most out of any character and works a good job

[@skell6134]

​@Jingobingo-d4mI mean, he is a huge creep considering that he is hitting on underage quite a bit, but he also isnt saying that he is a saint or anything or that people should like him

[@Funko302]

Quagmire repressed his anger for brian so much that the screen started glitching because he couldn't hold his anger much longer.

[@rumble-roses]

I guess no matter how nice you are, some people are just not gonna particularly like you. In reality we can't really force people to like/not like something/someone.

[@KCMFoTheERG]

@@shanefraley827 yeah, I don’t like Brian at all. I guess hold old character was okay, but his new one is terrible.

[@faded9581]

What you’re saying isn’t wrong, but that’s not the point of the rant. It’s the fact that there are some people who are simply too arrogant and self-absorbed to acknowledge their own flaws and pretend everything that goes wrong had to do with someone or something outside of themselves. It’s especially frustrating when you interact with people like them on a regular basis, and you do your best to get them to at least introspect, but they don’t budge, so your only options are directionless rage or to move on.

[@beachbum111111]

Theres a difference between reactively hating someone (hating them because they hate you) and hating someone because of who they are as a person. For the latter, all the ass kissing in the world wont make a difference because theres a fundemental difference between the people.

[@russkate88]

Agreed. I'm sure most people have that experience.

[@chyancedavis9056]

The best part is Quagmire literally does all the same stuff

[@GameTavern2224]

Pot and kettle

[@TMF979Resurge]

Half of it could have been Glenn talking about himself and projecting some of it on Brian as well, even though Brian is guilty of it

[@marcusmcclendon6681]

Difference is quagmire honest about it

[@Redemption-64]

​@@marcusmcclendon6681Yeah, that makes it worse because he keeps doing? Also, this whole, at least he is honest about it, is pure stupidity giving that he keeps doing it

[@sonicspeedkaleb134]

For anyone who can't get behind why Quagmire hates Brian despite sharing some of his bad traits but in different ways, allow me to explain. Quagmire doesn't hate Brian just because he's boring. He hates him because of everything about him on top of that, along with the context behind some of the bad things Brian does. Quagmire hates that Brian tries to hide his horrible behavior to no avail, while he shows it without hesitation.

[@GabePickles3837]

Yeah, Quagmire hates Brian because he isn’t honest.

[@okwago]

Auagemire hates brian cuz Brian slept with his father..

[@sarcasticsuperjerk18]

Right? That and Brian only tried befriending Quagmire because he made a terrible attempt to get him to like him. Brian can’t stand the thought of someone disliking him, not even a rapist creepy hellspawn like Quagmire. His ego and level of insecurity is so large that he tries looking for _Quagmire’s fucking approval_ on top of being completely dishonest about himself as a person.

[@Sss-lt1it]

Quagmire is terrible too He’s been hitting on Lois for years yet lecturing brian bout that thats bullshit brian has his flaws but doesn’t give quagmire thr right to talk shit to him

[@thebakeosaurusrex8361]

@@Sss-lt1it your right, it doesn't give him the right, but at least Quagmire is honest with who he is, he knows is a terrible person but he doesn't hide that and pretend to be a good guy like Brian does

[@fieryphoenix586]

I think the show took on a different continuity at one point, while keeping certain plot points in tact. Seeing that Quagmire use to hit on Lois all the time in earlier episodes and his treatment towards woman was, well sometimes hilarious, sometimes outrageous, sometimes outrageously hilarious (Who else but Quagmire?) not to mention the children he's never met, other than the one daughter he put up for adoption. Given that the show has gone through several changes, certain ones centered around the characters in the show, this makes me wonder if the show developed a new continuity from one season, because this is perhaps the most straight and painfully honest we've ever seen Quagmire. Just saying, if the show followed the same continuity from Season One, or even when it was revived after it was canceled, Brian would have called out Quagmire as an utter hypocrite.

[@peterlloyd4242]

Not true because most of the time it’s just quagmire being a perv, when he hits on Lois, he assumes that Lois is done with Peter. He would never hit on his wife

[@peterlloyd4242]

No he wouldn’t because quagmire isn’t a hypocrite

[@slavicmalchik]

Yeah I think all of the character don’t have a big character development except Stewie. At first he was evil and all about world domination but overtime his evil side toned down

[@serioussilliness2064]

And he would be right to. At least Brian tried being a good dude at the start of it all, but seeing how the world works and adapting suddenly retroactively makes him a hypocrite somehow.

[@kalvin187douglas]

True

[@KamiMalzahn]

0:09 “You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife.” Says the guy who also hits on his best friend’s wife!

[@FishSlap1]

To be fair, Quagmire doesn't live under Peter's roof. Brian is both fed and sheltered by Peter, and he poops all over Peter's yard

[@DexNathan]

The whole line for Quagmire: "Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You're always like. "Ooh, I'll get you later," but later never comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, but all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it! I don't buy them a copy of The Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a SPOILED BRAT! And that's why you like him so much: he's YOU! GOD, you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you delude yourself by thinking you're a great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "Legalize Pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America! Well what have YOU done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian! Never seen YOU down there! You wanna help? GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh, WAIT! You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because (mockingly) "religion is for idiots." Well who the HELL are YOU to talk down to anyone?! You failed college TWICE, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father - how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a BORE! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic BORE! Sigh... Well, see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak."

[@kalvin187douglas]

Man Quagmire was nuking on Brian

[@SleepySeal121]

@@kalvin187douglasIt was glorious.

[@TheMaan2008]

@@kalvin187douglasYes!!

[@antoniosalieri1048]

Marvelous

[@DexNathan]

@@antoniosalieri1048 thanks

[@maxferdy7702]

0:04 the static before quagmire speaks sent chills down my spine indicating that quagmire is finally going to snap

[@ianr.navahuber2195]

1:24 probably the funniest part, is Quagmire saying the Main reason he hates Brian is because "He is a bore"

[@taraungoogle8482]

So if Brian was fun and cool then Quagmire would've been on good terms with him? Quagmire is friends with Cleveland because the gang "needs" a black friend. Quagmire's friends with Joe because Joe turns a blind eye to all of Quagmire's crimes as a sex offender. And Quagmire's friends with Peter because of Lois. But come on, Quagmire's friends with all of them because they have hot wives/daughters 😑

[@LoneWolf20213]

well... while Quagmire is right, he's hardly any better than Brian as he does some, not all, but some of the thing's Brian does as well

[@naphataliheimann9281]

As he stated He's honest about it Doesn't say to women I love u then sleeps with them He states all he wants is sex

[@LoneWolf20213]

Flomber Heimann what about the rape and other crimes he committed such as murder with a few people

[@naphataliheimann9281]

@@LoneWolf20213 it's a TV series dude None of that shit really happened It's 2 characters in that show that are discusskng the best and worst of why they hate each other

[@LoneWolf20213]

Flomber Heimann yeah, but I’m saying for all the shit Brian is, Quagmire has no real room to talk

[@TheMayhemMutant9047]

I guess I must have missed the episode where Quagmire gives a baby herpes.

[@HhJj-wl9uj]

This was uploaded on Tom Hanks’ 64th birthday

[@liltarantula2275]

what was the point of this comment 😭

[@bellaknightR597]

This my favorite scene of the entire series and I don't think any other scene could possibly top it

[@mythman700]

its crazy how quagmire puts all this together so well that it makes him look like the least goofiest character on family guy

[@hellofanner]

“You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife.” He says, rushing over the many times he’s hit on Lois.

[@Raven12516]

Except Brian owes Peter a lot more than Quagmire does to be doing that shit. And Quagmire doesn't act like a self-righteous douche about it.

[@DjPrimeVideos]

​@@Raven12516that barely matters though. Brain and Quagmire are friends to Peter. NONE of them should be hitting on Lois...thats the point. Its not a matter of "he owes him" its about two of your best friends trying to plow your wife.

[@ricardo6156]

He did change when him and lois went to lois school reunion

[@LowTierLurker]

Tbf Quagmire doesn't live in Peters House unlike Brian not defending him of course

[@needles1987]

He also slept with Loretta and ruined Cleveland's marriage. And he pretended to be a virgin so Joe would let him sleep with Bonnie. And he also kept asking Meg if she's eighteen yet.

[@TrayBrooks]

I actually love how Quagmire developed as a person in this scene when he calls Brian for everything that he's done in his life because it explains that what we're all thinking about what Brian had done in the past few years

[@ProfessorTakatoPalm]

I always felt that Quagmire’s monologue to Brian I was understandable and powerful. However, seeing it with all these clips gives it more power and it’s even better with them.

[@fawkewe]

"Pay for nothing" and yet Brian is the one who payed for Quagmires STEAK dinner.

[@joaopadua7134]

Still a sucker

[@Beyond-Mysteries]

Plus, Brian pays for Peter to get out of jail and even offers his kidneys.

[@denjeez]

Komi ❤

[@spikytoaster]

Wow this almost made me like family guy for a sec good job.

[@thatrandomredengine9430]

When Seth realizes what character he actually wrote, rather then what he thought he wrote. It’s even funnier when you realize Brian is Seth’s mouthpiece 😂

[@TopSecretYoshi]

Quagmire: "I’ve worked down at the soup kitchen Brian. Never seen you down there!" *shows clip of Brian walking in* Me: "And where were you in that soup kitchen, Quagmire?"

[@lukespillman1313]

How could quagmire have time to serve soup to the homeless when he’s too busy flying a plane or having sex at the same time?

[@Chopawamsic]

he might have been in the back

[@maciek8159]

Lol best comment ever. He might have been in the back

[@okjeffy6581]

Or maybe taking a shit.

[@sethporter9066]

@@Chopawamsic Giggity

[@carbodude5414]

What makes this well deserved is because Brian asked "How can you not like me?" instead of "Why don't you like me?"

[@Kainmaster]

Even saying how COME would have been a better question than how CAN.

[@glsbro]

1:31 😂 levitating

[@jbk0]

chair

[@Tony6Shot]

I've always felt this teardown of who Brian is as a person/character would've had more lasting impact if it came from Peter or someone else in the family. In the moment, it's really easy to side with Quagmire, but that also comes with ignoring all the shitty things he himself has done. No, him admitting to being honest about dating women for their looks isn't enough to cover his ass - it's not even a half-truth. If you take all the cartoon antics seriously like this conversation did, then Glenn is an abhorrent person for stuff like kidnapping groups of women or intentionally not wearing protection so his STDs can spread like wildfire and making light of it. He shouldn't act like being honest about that kinda stuff makes him a better person than Brian. Even if he covers up his intentions under false attempts at being a good or intelligent person, he's not taking pleasure in destroying women's lives like Glenn does. Not to say that what he says about Brian is wrong, it just needed to come from somebody whose morals aren't as fucked as Quagmire's was at the time.

[@ashuraomega1000]

I feel like someone like Like Meg or Joe would have been better to talk down Brian because despite some of the stuff they've done they are (for the most part anyway) still good people who wouldn't stand with what Brian has done over the years

[@christianarnold4725]

I actually like that it's Quagmire. Quagmire's point isn't that he's better than Brian, it's that they are just as bad yet Brian pretends to be better than he is. Quagmire doesn't care Brian is a bad person, he cares that Brian is fake. Quagmire, being just as bad or worse than Brian, is one of the few people who can truly recognize this, and also sets up for this "you're just like me" talk. It means more when the villain calls you evil...

[@yourlordandsaviorarceus8048]

That's the thing though. Quagmire ISN'T trying say he's better for calling out on all Brian's flaws despite being a sleazeball himself, he's calling Brian out because HE'S the one doing that.

[@amandabadlands]

Exactly!! Quagmire is literally a sex offender (and a proud one too). And come to think about it, Brian might be a douche, but it's still one of the best people in that family

[@yourlordandsaviorarceus8048]

​@@amandabadlands "best person in the family" yeah no. Not by a LONG shot

[@castillogrande8926]

Brian sitting there like, "My brother in Christ, YOU'RE A RAPIST!" 😂

[@Dracon350]

wouldn't have met much in this scenario. Quagmire was and has never made an effort to make Brian like him, and Brian SPECIFICALLY asked for Glenn to explain why he dislikes him. if Brian had shot back, it would've been hollow - Quagmire doesn't care for him or his opinion.

[@theone7097]

In Christ?

[@cooleyYT]

And? They are both hypocritical assclowns. But ones honest and ones not you blind fanboy

[@Romit12]

He doesn't believe in Christ tho

[@cooleyYT]

@@Romit12 ok? And

[@EmoryEricYbarra]

All of this coming from the guy who also hits on his best friend’s wife and his daughter

[@blakedevitt6948]

If i was Brian, i would just end this with saying "At least im not a rapist."

[@GameTavern2224]

I feel Glenn needs something like this too

[@cipher-one]

That's not much of a comeback considering Quagmire admits to being a bastard as opposed to Brian who's basically in denial over the fact.

[@Logansplayhouse7]

Ah yes cus admitting to being a rapist makes you so much better​@@cipher-one

[@VPT2]

@@cipher-one I mean.....being a idiotic douche will always be better than being a pedophilic rapist. Admitting you are awful meaning nothing if you don't change shit.

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

@@cipher-one Actually Quagmire only admits to dating women for sex, not the other stuff.

[@GamerKid64]

“How can you not like me” I think you answered your own question…

[@elijahdoesstuff4600]

This scene is pretty crazy when you consider that Brian is basically Seth MacFarlane's self-insert. He was basically roasting himself here.

[@jordanpressler3325]

1:19 At least Brian took the time to get to know his son and made him a better person; Quagmire tossed his infant daughter away the second her crying interfered with his sex life.

[@taraungoogle8482]

And Brian actually cares about his son which everyone(including Quagmire) found that annoying, so they drove them apart And Quagmire knows that Brian cares and has regrets not being there for him, so Quagmire guilts trip Brian by always saying "How's that son of yours you never see"? And some(or most) of those women were probably married when Quagmire had those children, I'm surprised how no one sued or called for compensation

[@justyumi4410]

off topic, but that quick zoom in to Big Business at 0:58 goes hard, and would go harder if the entire video was set to some impactful music.

[@ntinosaggelopoulos6718]

As respond for Quigmire and i quote from the first episode of the family guy 'I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.'

[@Lyoko012345]

I’ve never understood why they retconned brain being a bad father to his son. First of all it wasn’t until Brian went look for an old flame that he even found out about him. The mother of his son made no effort to contact Brian to let him know about their son. Not only that but when Brian did find out about his son he did the right thing. He took custody of his son even helped turn his sons life around. When Brian first met his son he was a punk, delinquent and probably got in trouble with the law. But once Brian took him in and the two were able to have a heart to heart he cleaned up his act and became a better person. And last time I checked it was Peter and his friends including Quagmire who are responsible for Brian not see his son because Brian wasn’t fun to hang around with. So they had the mother take back custody. But then they turn around and act like Brian just dumped his son on his mothers porch and drove off. Brian made an effort at being a good dad and was doing a good job at it until Peter and his friends ruined it. And now it’s some how a running joke that Brian’s a bad father when it’s not even his fault he never sees his son.

[@robertthreadgill5356]

Yeah but then the next time Brian sees Dylan, it's like he doesn't even want to talk to him and Dylan was actually happy to talk to his dad. But then when Dylan mentions that he's starring on a show, THEN Brian takes an interest in his son's life. He only used Dylan to boost his OWN career. And then both the father & son admit that Brian's a terrible dad. I still HAVE NO IDEA how Brian was able to make Dylan in the first place

[@Lyoko012345]

@@robertthreadgill5356 yeah but that’s a part of the retcon.

[@eshswam]

Also let's not forget quagmire put his daughter up for adoption.

[@accountnotusedanymore9119]

The college one is inaccurate. His roommates kicked him out

[@sethporter9066]

@@eshswam Yeah, but at least he felt guilty afterwards and tried to check in on her, then let her go knowing it was what was best for her

[@Jhovaak]

The thing is that quagmire isn’t saying that he’s better than him, he is saying why he doesn’t like him. Quagmire does not care if he’s liked or not but Brian does. All the reasons quagmire doesn’t like him, Brian shouldn’t like quagmire either but he wants to force himself to do so. Wether that be unknowingly making innuendos about a girl that turns out to be quagmires abused sister, or faking a letter of a woman that meant more than anything to quagmire. He’s selfishly disregarding quagmire’s feelings in the matter because he can’t handle the fact that somebody close to his best friend hates him.

[@danjonmills]

Most savage takedown of an animated talking dog I've ever seen.

[@yungsouljah2012]

if you ever wonder why Quagmire hates Brian, just watch literally ANY episode with Brian in it

[@needles1987]

It's because Brian's a dog and Quagmire hates dogs.

[@thebelmont1995]

I watched most episodes of family guy. Hes actually not that bad compared to quagmire or even Peter or even most of the other characters. Even stewie is more evil than Brian.

[@sanstheelumbu]

brian duped quagmire into buying a shitty house

[@Redemption-64]

Brian is a far far far better person/dog than Quagmire. Unless you think Quagmire, the pedo, rapist, kidnapper, lies to, drugs women and knowingly gives them STDs is better.

[@benjamin_0265]

You know you're a terrible person when Quagmire of all people calls you out for it.

[@gierer797]

for the homeless part i would have also added when brian was homeless and wiped peters windshield

[@RudeCustoms]

You're right! I completely forgot about that one. It was the whole how Peter found Brian scene.

[@noahsmith4877]

1:20: this coming the guy who abandon his daughter

[@shanefraley827]

Yeah, and that's what makes Quagmire a total hypocrite! And it's really terrifying that he has a trail of half-sibling children born out of wedlock with different mothers he dated!!

[@jtktheboss5474]

The point is that Glenn is a horrible person but he is aware of how terrible he is and he doesn't pretend to be good Brian on the other hand is a terrible person that either lacks self awareness or just pretends to be a saint

[@allisonlane3740]

Also he only did it to give his daughter a better life than his perverted freak could provide

[@JamestonBoi]

Did you even watch that episode?

[@CesarRosasJr]

They should've hired you to do this scene lol, great work!

[@Novus_Galaxy]

Brian: …Quagmire, your a rapist. Quagmire: …*leaves the restaurant*

[@SunnierVoyage97]

I love how a quarter of these things that he apparently hates Brian for he does himself 💀💀💀

[@Steph489]

It’s the fact that quagmire is honest about how he’s a horrible person and he does not pretend to be something. He’s not unlike Brian.

[@LazerKrohn]

This was not Glenn’s place to speak. He’s the biggest hypocrite in cinematic history

[@kylehyde215CA]

This reminds me of when Frank Grimes, or "Grimey" as he liked to be called, went off on Homer Simpson.

[@schweenieboy]

Still Grimes Is Jealous.

[@GrandDadGaming]

There is a 30 minute video talking about that lashing, its glorious

[@PhilipBarron]

This is also like that one episode of The Office when Stanley Hudson went off on Michael Scott.

[@RaymondStormbl3ssed]

Basically sums up half of the Internet lmao

[@CapCodm_C]

Facts 😂

[@yourlocalentertainmentchan9153]

Brian’s Misdeeds: - Constantly Hits on Peter’s Wife - Accepts food and shelter, yet no responsibilities - Defecates All Over Peter’s Yard - Pays for nothing, tells people he’ll pay later, but doesn’t do it - Pretends to be romantic, but actually objectifies women - Behaves like Holton Caulfield, who was a spoiled brat - Is way too overconfident about being a great writer - Never helped people; never even worked at the soup kitchen, despite having the chance - Is incredibly arrogant about his Prius - Mocks people who have religion (Brian is entitled to his own belief, but he shouldn’t force other people to believe him) - Is terrible at college - Mistreated his own son - Is a big, sad, alcoholic bore Coincidentally, the count is 13. A number that symbolizes bad things.

[@KennethJr-q6t]

Amen

[@jamessewake8285]

Thanks for this, and also boor*

[@supremeking1730]

Yeah, but in the case of hitting on Lois, objectifying women, and his son, Quagmire has no room to talk. Quagmire has made passes at Lois plenty of times, being honest about dating women for their bodies does not excuse him from being a r@pist and pedophile has had affairs with married people, including Cleveland's former wife. And he really can't talk shit about Brian not talking to Dylan when he has a ton of bastard children that he's never taken responsibility for.

[@AlexNasvik]

Are we all just gonna ignore the fact that Brian has a human son somehow???

[@kyliejoline13]

@@jamessewake8285don’t you mean bore 😂😂

[@domidium]

Notice how Brian asks HOW can he not like him, instead of WHY. He's so narcissistic that he can't fathom being disliked no matter what.

[@kingrocky7519]

Honestly, the fact that this scene is so well-known makes it hard to appreciate what a a great twist this really was. Normally in sitcom episodes where the plot is that a character is trying to figure out why someone doesn’t like him/her, it’s usually because of some petty incident (“you ate my sandwich I was saving!”) or an unimportant personality quirk (“I hate how loud you are at chewing your food.”). So Quagmire just systematically listing every single one of Brian’s awful attributes is really jarring. Even though Brian has already done so many terrible things at this point, the way the show was structured made it easy to forget about what a piece of shit he really is. Then you hear Quagmire go all out at the end of what was supposed to be a pretty cliche and played-out sitcom storyline, and it hits you like a truck. Pretty cool.

[@damonmcnair3691]

Quagmire has a point

[@itsmulaababy]

He does the same thing to Lois though

[@Spiralredd]

Exactly he's a hypocrite​@@itsmulaababy

[@fandomking8939]

​@@Spiralreddyou can be a hypocrite and still be right. Brian asked Glenn, it's not like he's randomly insulting. And this comes after an entire episode of him trying to politely ignore Brian.

[@marcusj95]

​@jdott1, at least Quagmire never forced himself on Lois.

[@Spiralredd]

@@fandomking8939 ikr

[@Mangler_]

Quagmire talking about hitting on Lois is rich coming from the guy that has been trying to get with her since the shows first episode. He even got caught spying on Lois in the bathroom.

[@tpiet]

This is really well put together

[@TheKickboxingCommunity]

"How can you not like me?" There you go lol

[@rafaelmarquez8886]

“And you delude yourself by thinking your some great writer even though your terrible at it” OUCH he made it personal

[@excitablepack7076]

Tell that to Vivziepop

[@Sly88Frye]

That is really awesome that you edited all of that together to give even more context to this. I mean I think most of us watching know what Quagmire is referencing although maybe not directly what scenes they're from so the fact that you edited like this and got the scenes in there is really awesome.