Why Spanish Friendships Are Better Than American...

[@chikymin403]

Yo vivo en un pueblo pequeño y soy una abuela como tú. Soy muy casera y nunca me ha gustado mucho salir, ni en mis 20. Creo que veo a mi mejor amiga una vez cada 3 semanas y todo está genial entre nosotras. También conservo a mis mejores amigas del colegio desde hace 35 años (tengo 42), a las cuales veo una vez al año porque vivimos en diferentes comunidades e incluso una al otro lado del charco. Cada vez que viene a España quedamos para cenar y contarnos nuestra vida y se siente como si nos hubieramos visto ayer. Eso es amistad.

[@mariom.s.7253]

I live in Madrid, I am nearly 60 years old, and I still keep in touch with a dozen friends that I see once or twice a year, one or several at a time, and we are very happy to share our experiences, learn from each other and discover that there are loyal people who will support you in case you need it and whom you could have the privilege of supporting in case they need it, it is great. So you are right.

[@franciscojavierp.7162]

Hablas a toda leche, pero es increíble cómo a pesar de tu velocidad, vocalizas perfectamente. Muchas gracias por compartir tus experiencias. En mi caso, además de resultarme interesantes las cosas que dices, me ayuda a mejorar mi entendimiento del ingles. Muchas gracias

[@AlphaCentauri-b2o]

Habla a velocidad normal. Si ella te escuchara hablando español también te diría lo mismo. Lo que necesitas es acostumbrarte con un poco más de práctica

[@jaimetorrens9551]

I am from Madrid and in Spain family and friendship are the most important things here if you have free time and it's sunny as it used to be you have to go out with them to eat a tapa and drink a cerveza. Once you have a friend is livetime

[@antonienko]

My best friends are very low maintenance. I can spend years not seeing them, and when I eventually see them, is like we saw each other the day before. 30+ year friendships still going strong. And we are from a smaller town, not a big city. So I know what you mean.

[@AlphaCentauri-b2o]

All what you've said happens in Spain too. In small towns neighbours think they have a kind of right to know all your life and secrets. Even when you're not interested in somebody else's life they might get upset because you don't want to be a part or I don't know exactly. People who forget about you in a couple of months or weeks also exist here. A lot. Even if you keep communication with them they might you treat you like a complete stranger at any moment, out of the blue. All what you've said in this video happened to me.

[@daniellegrobman]

Yea, I think it really comes down to small town vs city life the more I'm dissecting it. I think because I only grew up and lived predominantly in the suburbia that was my view of the USA when in reality it can be a mix and, of course, the same patterns can repeat in Spain

[@Jose-hu2wx]

The difference you say between American and Spanish friendships, here in Spain is the difference between a rural life and an urban life. I grew up in a big town, and my wife in a small village. She, as much as I, is an independent person, and really appreciate living in a city because you are not constantly expose to the judgement of your community. I have had differents group of friends along my lifetime, but she has had the same group of "friends" for all her life, and there are gossips between them, and criticism, and bad talking, and envies. In a city, when I want to be with my friends, i got my friends, but if I want to stay alone, there's no problem with that, I don´t lose a friend because of that. But in a small village, you have the obligation of social duties, if my wife's friends want to go to dinner, if she doesn't want to, she knows that the rest are going to criticize her. In general, I think we Spaniards are more outgoing, and have a loose sense of friendship. But the topic of your stream, I think is more about the difference between small and close communities, and the freedom and impersonal life of large cities. And this is the same across the world. The equivalent of an american suburb, here in a Spain, is the village. And nowadays only 16% of Spanish population live in villages. Most people who keep living in villages (or in suburbs in USA) tell you that they have more real friendships, but that's because they are afraid of their neghbours hahahahahahahaha

[@Gerclun]

I've been several times in the USA, and it seems to me that the main difference is a lot of times they choose their friends not only because they feel good being with them or because they sense a connection with them or because they share common interests and enjoy doing that thing with them. I always have the feeling that a lot of people in the USA choose to spend time with their friends because it can be beneficial to them, because they can get something out of it, either professionally or to get in touch with other people. And I feel sad about it. I think we don't complicate it so much here. Do I like them? Do I have a good time with that person? Do I feel like it? That's it.

[@Juanfernandez-sm8jl]

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍Hi Danielle, interesting video. I just wanted to tell you from Malaga that I agree with you on everything you have said. In Spain, people give great importance to friendship! And this is very important for people's mental health when they feel loved by their friends or colleagues,, your life´s stability is much better!!

[@Noctem0wl]

I'm happy you feel like you like that in Spain. I grew up in Spain and I'm like that. I mean, how can you forget about a person in a week or one month? I can't just forget about you and not want to talk to you after a month or 6. That's just crazy to me.

[@polgasull4734]

I know my closest group of friends since school. We went to the same High school together and I even went with one of them to the same university. We are all 35 years old today, and of course each one has his own life, is married, lives abroad or has children and that prevents us from making plans as we did before. The good thing is that even though we haven't seen each other for months or barely spoken, when we can finally meet, things continue as they always have been. We make the same jokes, we treat each other exactly the same, the funny one in the group is still the funny one, etc. I didn't have in mind that this was something that doesn't happen to everyone, but I think it's great that it is like that.

[@juancarlosperamocanaveras9301]

Girl, I am from Madrid suburbia and it is exactly how you describe in your hometown. The difference is Madrid is a big metropolis. Probably will happen the same to you in NYC or Boston. The second part about never being a stranger once you meet a spanish person it's totally true. We are warm af. Thanks for this video

[@miguelm.a7462]

About friendship in Spain, I think It depends of the autonomous region, but you can find all cases here, there are a lot of friends that stop talking to you because no reason (people you were friends for years), I had this kind of friends, sometimes even having friends in common they stop talking to them for no reason, of course there are other friends that maybe you stop talking, but when you talk back always stay as friends and looks like the time didn't move, but you will find people like you did in the states

[@arturoone77]

Yeah we be chill like that in Spain. You do you abuela. I still believe this is just you and those around you being more mature as you grow older. Being a low maintenance introverted abuelo myself, the friends I have made I have been able to keep too. The chemestry and trust is not lost throughout the years even if we do not speak for months. We dont have to communicate all the time for them to know they can count on me for venting, seeking advice or just grabing a cold one. They know I care even If I dont smother them daily with attention. Maybe this is more of a male take on friendships but It really aint hard and Spanish people do have this laid back aproach to friendships quite often

[@CHereticHPoe]

You not only found out the Mediterráneo Moral, but you embrace it. And I’m happy for you. Thank you for appreciating these litte things.

[@inigogonzalez6316]

Hi Dani, Always a pleasure to see your videos. I lived in the US during my childhood and I see clear differences. It is true that a big thing is the size of the city you live in, and in smaller towns you would again have that, everyone knows feeling, so that is mostly the same. the other subject, low maintanance.....I would say that US citizens tend to have protocols for most everything, so organic things like friendships, are sometimes ( not always) not as natural. You have friends for going out, for talking about feeelings, for ranting, for sports, and sometimes for the whole package. This is natural, and no one expects to be top tier for everyone. If you add, that if you are with someone, it means you like to be with that person, why would you stop liking to be with them for a 6 month silence due to work or life? I think US people overthink, and here you just act as your heart tells you to ( which also has down sides). Do take care. Pleasure to have you around the country

[@DorsSeldon]

Could that also be an explanation why dating in US seems also like with a lot of protocols vs the Spanish ones?

[@daniellegrobman]

100% I could forever on this

[@miwel8455]

As a spaniard, I agree with you. In Spain, relationships are really meaningful and deep so a little time in between our meetings is not that important. I have friend whom I see like... once or twice a year and she is really important to me. Anything she'd ask I'd give it to her and the other way around. So... yes, I agree!

[@nestorduque8690]

Nice video, nice girl and a good analisis about some things about spanish ideosincracia, thanks and regards from Barcelona.

[@TheYomismo33]

Hi Danielle, I love hearing your stories. Everything you tell about your neighborhood in Philadelphia reminds me of a book I know called Small Town, Big Hell by an American writer called Peyton Place, written back in the 60s. Those things you tell only happen in towns and never in cities. In Spain, in the rural world, it's the same.

[@daniellegrobman]

I haven't heard of that book I'll look at it, thanks

[@pellax]

Spaniards value a lot the friendship. I don't have much time for friends but when I was on my 20 s I use to have some friends and we were very close. But the thing you say about gossip, in small towns it's basically the same. Big cities doesn't have that problem

[@jjval406]

Happy Birthday!!!

[@josemariadominguez8182]

Me encanta tu micrófono. Es galáctico.

[@PrometeoLIVE]

Interesante video. Creo que Danielle es la única youtuber que si la pones a 0,75 no parece borracha.

[@miguel.a.d.6078]

Cierto. Eso me hace sospechar si no acelera su video 😅

[@rm-nn3869]

That says a lot on social construction, environment and where we are heading

[@normanderi]

i think is more about the town vs city thingy, tbh, i have lived on both in spain, so i know what you are talking about, i believe also you might be right, i think people even in small towns manage better to keep secrets with friends, but is just a feeling

[@GuilleGobierno]

People in Madrid is specially friendly, at least at a surface level. Maybe it's because nobody is really from here. It's a bit harder to build real connections, but is easier than in anglosaxon countries FOR SURE.

[@joanmarinos4828]

That explains the 3rd degree interrogation some of my American friends did when we met. Thank you! I thought I was kinda “suspicious” lol! 😂

[@daniellegrobman]

jaja yes sometimes we take it too far

[@joanmarinos4828]

@ Yup... The thing is you are so polite and politically correct that instead of asking what you really want to know directly, you twist and twirl a lot. “So never married and no kids? You Gay?” That’s the Spaniard”s most elaborate way to ask about a situation that doesn’t bell the ring. Imagine asking that as an American 🤣

[@jesusfernandezgarcia9449]

My cousin came from the United States for a Christmas dinner with his old coworkers and friends from his youth, and he told me that it was as if no time had passed (some of them a little bald)... after 40 years.

[@WesleyMears-l9j]

You are absolutely right, i am from England samething happens, friendships are non existent, if someone doesn't like you, people insult, and start talking bad, and are always very vindictive

[@Michaelcj-m2d]

I have mixed freinds here in Spain. Spainards,German, Italian,and Polish, and from Argentina in the same bar hang out...😎🍷👍

[@juampisito]

Bueno, muchas de las cosas que dijiste ahí son más de las grandes ciudades que de Españoles, la gente es igual de cotilla en todos lados sobre la vida ajena y en los pueblos siempre es más difícil pasar desapercibido porque la gente se conoce y se sabe todo de cada uno. Como consejo, sabiendo eso, no te mudes a un pueblo si no quieres que tus vecinos conozcan cada detalle de tu vida XD. A mi lo que me gusta de ser español y las amistades españolas, es la lealtad y sinceridad de un buen amigo de toda la vida, pero eso van a ser 1 o 2, pasa que si los llegarás a tener, en otros sitios, como Japón, donde el tatemae es lo que se considera correcto o en USA, es más complicado.

[@GregorioJimenez-l1u]

I'm from L.A, and I agree, friendship in the U.S is pretty fragile.

[@davidp.7620]

You're the one guiri who speaks Spanish. Of course we want to be friends with you!

[@elaxel1469]

I feel very identified with the phone battery metaphore. Whenever i'm in a social event I lose all my energy.

[@pepeabascal412]

You are very kind to us Spaniards. But moderate your enthusiasm, you will be back in the USA one day. At the end of the day people are people. From my perspective, and I have traveled the world, there are many different cultures but we all bond in very similar ways. Or each one in their own way, regardless of geography.

[@luisfelipearcos]

Hola Danielle!!! te lo dije... te convertirás en una adicta si profundizas en la cultura Española

[@theSSHITT]

Agreed.

[@luisfelipearcos]

Por cierto la comparación con un Iphone 10 me parece muy ingeniosa, muy buena

[@vanesag.9863]

Your suburbian life sounds like our pueblos where everybody gossip and knows everything about everyone. And you now are older. People between 14 and 18 has a lot of drama flowing between them. 😂 Said that, this December I had a dinner with my teenager days friends (I'm nearly 46), one of them was the first time in 5 years that I got out with him to eat and talk about everything and nothing and this september I visited Romania with a pair of friends that I didn't traveled with them in 7 years 😂. It was like we saw each other yesterday.

[@alvaromenendez4139]

That do happen in spain,, in small towns like around 4k population or less. I live in Ajalvir, Madrid, I don't want "Friends" here, but when I go out to take a beer, everybody in every bar (there are six of them) are always talking about neighbors (What they do last day... etc). They do even talk about me, the "asocial" guy who cames often to X bar and just read in his ebook ignoring everybody (Proud of this)

[@roy_for_real2674]

0:40 relatable

[@beldin2987]

Yeah, and everybody alway tells us "oh, americans are all so nice and lovely people and its soo easy to make friends there" .. not like all these "rude europeans" that just say to you what they think .. instead of gossiping behind your back so you need way longer to find out whats really going on.

[@oiausdlkasuldhflaksjdhoiausydo]

Notice that you have also changed and opened up since you arrived in Madrid. That being said, making friends in Madrid is very easy. People are more open.

[@FranMartinezphotographer]

I cannot help but say that I think you are not only noticing the differences of Spain vs USA but also between your perception being 17 vs 21. Being at school vs working changes you a lot.

[@xpainx5185]

I don't think so.

[@davidp.7620]

Yeah the whole thing about caring for random gossip is such a middleschool thing

[@AndyZuhha]

It's funny, I'm Spanish, I have many foreign friends and they also agree that Spanish friendships are more intense. For me it is normal for a friendship to be intense. Even a person I have known for a very short time, if he seems trustworthy for me, I will treat him like a brother.

[@caballoloco100]

They are not better but different!

[@BlackHoleSpain]

I guess that when your 17 y/o friend who didn't speak for 3 months treats you like a stranger, it may not be related to the US society, but your young age. I'm already 50+ and didn't speak to some friends of mine for *a whole decade* and if we got to meet each other at some gathering, I can assure you our friendship is instantly restarted as if it was yesterday.

[@penateca1868]

Quite sure the level of maturity you have matter a lot of the aspects you are talking. As an spaniard i had USA type relation in the high school. But after mature that changes a lot, even with the same persons. Then, once you are aboard, spaniard usually go into "erasmus state" where everybody is a friend. But that also goes with the person and your personality.

[@vo4wb]

Your battery drains so fast because you talk so fast 😂

[@zv9705]

"I like to talk"

[@Blue-Poisoned]

In Spain we have that. It's called 'Friendship at First Sight'.

[@oatlegOnYt]

About the gossips, I would say that it's more about city vs small place thing than Spain vs USA. But the "you are a stranger"... yeah... definitely american. If you remember here, you really greeting people like it deserves. In fact, you can suffer from the opposite. When someone greets you like a old friend but you don't remember him/her. And then you said something like... - Sorry... but... who are you? Very awkward... Sometimes you just play dumb trying to gain time and remember who is him/her. But generally speaking, if something like that happens here in Spain there is a high chance that he/she doesn't remember you for real.

[@manuelfg2902]

Danielle, why did u decide come to Madrid 🇪🇸?

[@BlackHoleSpain]

Watch her last video...

[@manuelfg2902]

@BlackHoleSpain ah ok

[@tutorialespedronieto8023]

I had american friends and I noticed that they are very extroverted but at the same time social dynamics were more sophisticated. Like... More rules, more... More difficult. 😂 Like a more sophisticated game.

[@daniellegrobman]

Exactly, that was the feeling I got but it depends on the city you live in

[@Yorktown1936]

Herri txikia, infernu handia, small village, big inferno in basque

[@zorrozorro9681]

You need to understand the difference between AMIGO Vs UNA AMISTAD, casual relationships are UNA AMISTAD, but true friends are AMIGOS ... AMIGO IS A LONG LASTING TRUE LOYAL FRIEND, in Spain is easier to make friends because we are taught to share and respect the other since kindergarten, i do not think that Protestants or Jews do it in the same way, it is a Catholic thing, more HUMANISM ?? and less competitiveness !! we help each other out more, more compasion and empathy than ANGLO-SAXONS ... do not take it personal !!

[@davidfernandez9791]

Deberías hacer algún vídeo en español

[@daniellegrobman]

jaja when i'm more confident... maybe

[@TomasJerez-ow4ob]

Well then, I am sure you have had your favorite earrings and, at one point, one of them has been lost. You searched everywhere but it has just gone. A month later you look incidentally between your sofa cushions and there it is. Do you think "Well I don't like this anymore"? Or may you feel the joy of recovering that thing you once treasured?

[@RR-dl8lw]

January 6th? Día de Reyes? You are entitled to get the surprise in the roscón then.

[@danikae1439]

Se van un mes de vacaciones y cuando vuelven sus amigos no les hablan xD Aquí puedes estar sin ver a tus amigos de toda la vida meses que cuando volvéis a quedar parece que nada ha cambiado.

[@qqcq]

Luego ya, si eso..., veo si alcanzo a comprender algo de lo que has intentado decir (más allá de los idiomas). Pero, de entrada, ¡pua!, ¡qué locomotora rajando!

[@JesusRodriguez-tm8go]

I think that maybe you are just older and surrounded by older, more mature people than the people back un the States.

[@pitraque]

WE ARE CATHOLICS.

[@RazuEazu]

Eso es

[@ÁlvaroJustoxWF]

habla por ti

[@CarlosLopez58]

January 6th is the day of the end of Christmas in Spain and the day democracy died in USA. Congratulations

[@Moliere1000]

why do americans always tag the country? 'i've been living in madrid, spain' you've already said and titled the video 'spanish friendship'. there's no other madrid in spain. only one. no need to repeat 'spain' again. in my opinion.

[@dimaneitorcomics405]

I am Spanish and I found this offensive! Ha! Ha! Just kidding! Offended? Me? I am not American!

[@patgmez5099]

I watch your videos because you speak so fast that it tests my understanding of English.

[@drequena]

Those're all women issues. None of the guys at your suburban town experienced any of this. Now you feel comfortable among us because of a combination of us being very open to talk to strangers and you being located at a big city

[@mhorworshipper7456]

Ehhhh if you find reasons for this woman to feel more comfortable here, I beg you pardon, but it is not a woman’s issue

[@alandillon968]

See you've learnt how to spin out a story like the Spanish do. Try keeping it more to the point as I keep telling my Spanish friends. I've got a life I want to live it...get to the point!

[@liafiol-matta2736]

It’s hard to watch your videos with that big white basketball under your head all the time. 😂

[@anacasanova7350]

Yo creo que eres muy obsesiva con las relaciones personales. Contrólalo.

[@Destructor78]

Acabas de descubrir que a los españoles normales les importa una mierda los problemas de los demás, si eres buena persona y te tomas la vida con alegría harás muchos "amigos", pero cuando tengas problemas serios esos "amigos" desaparecerán de tu entorno, y lo de que en EEUU todo el mundo sabia de ti, se debe a que vivías en un pueblo, en España es exactamente igual, no tiene que ver con el país, en un pueblo de España te tiras un pedo y al día siguiente lo sabe hasta el cura, igual que en EEUU, por cierto, España es mucho mas que Madrid, no se puede extrapolar lo que vives allí a "España", un saludo, buenos videos, me los pongo para ir aprendiendo Ingles poco a poco ¡gracias!

[@JoseGarcia-cy6pu]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZ2XdpuipNlpbs0si=buORvtLRzsjJUqWl. That vídeo is called “Love letter to Madrid” and is a vídeo of an American girl who loves living in Madrid