Why Staying In long Term Relationships Is A Bad Idea If You Want Marriage

Why staying in long term relationships is a bad idea if you want marriage.

[@Childfree334]

In situations like this, women need to take a lesson from men. Men do NOT hang around in fruitless relationships waiting for women to give them what they want. They just move on to the next. Men will ALWAYS put their needs and desires first. Women need to start living in reality and do the same.

[@racheluk87]

FACTSSSSSS 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@thepragmatist]

Exactly.

[@roxannecowlesrosado3449]

Well said.

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

Say it a dog on ‘gain !!!!!!!! 💪💪🙌

[@dantayhylton9938]

Exactly men are selfish

[@Diana734]

You should not have to give a man an ultimatum...he should be eager to make you his wife if the relationship is solid.

[@tarahbruno3793]

@@Diana734 that part

[@pinkpain-ter8412]

Exactly, that's how some women end up with a "shut up" ring

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Yeah, I didn't like that advice. I wouldn't want to marry someone who didn't want that with me.

[@XXLady]

An ultimatum might get you married but will it get you a happy marriage? Doubt it. No ultimatums. Just leave.

[@tarahbruno3793]

@@XXLady giving an ultimatum is asking to be a “ here dam!” Type of wife. He gave you the ring cause “here dam” just take it, and shut up. then he will cheat on you forever and put you through WWIII cause he resents you.

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Exactly. That advice was not good at all. would you want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry you?!

[@exuberanttarot]

At about the 2 year mark, I evaluate my current relationship and ask myself, "Could I do this exact thing for the rest of my life?" and the answer has been a No. I am single and very happy that I'm not married to any of my ex's or have their children. I feel fortunate.

[@thepragmatist]

You're smart. The two year mark is a test in many relationships.

[@chayo4537]

How many 2 year marks you done had that you classify it as a relationship that you realized this? 😂

[@LoveK1]

@@chayo4537that’s usually enough time for the masks to fall off.

[@meli7315]

Same 🎉

[@alwaysyouramanda]

My dad was able to keep up the act for 2 years.

[@joycejoy4119]

No living together before ring 💍 My mama told me so😅

[@peggedyourdad9560]

Yeah, I'd wait until getting engaged at least before seriously moving in together.

[@heyizz]

Nautalina's story gets me heated. So many men use women for years to build themselves up, either lying to them or tricking them by saying "I don't wanna get married, I don't believe in marriage." But the second they break up and find another "dream" woman, they get married immediately. Even the women that say they are fine not getting married, I know for a fact it hurts their soul when they see another woman get the lifelong promise they didn't realize they wanted. DO NOT LET MEN WASTE YOUR TIME, if they say they "don't believe in marriage" or they don't give you princess treatment and propose within 1.5 years RUN.

[@blueorgin]

Propose in a year! Men know in 6 months what they want.

[@Gabster1990]

If I'm with someone for 2 years and I can't imagine getting married to them, I leave.

[@girly.mimi00]

2 years is too generous. I would say 6 months to a year maximum.

[@angelr5694]

@@girly.mimi00 I thought the same thing!!! LOL

[@purevenus6359]

I’m embarrassed to say I stayed for almost 5 years and learned he hated me in the end. So yes. 6 months to a year… anything longer than that you’re fooling yourself.

[@lz6364]

​@@purevenus6359 don't be embarrassed, we've all been there. Now we know what to do in the future

[@user-et7he5mn3x]

2 yeara is okay 20s. Not after 20s! 30s its gotra be 6mo​@@girly.mimi00

[@NiobeNeo]

Rule nr:1 DONOT live together Rule nr2: tell him within 3 months where you want to go with this situationship. Rule nr3: donot sleep with him for the first 6 months and make a time table in "your" mind when you want to be married or not. Donot communicate this time limit to him. And see how far you get or not... men who wants to play and waste your time will dropp off in the first 4 months 🤣🤣🤣🤣 2 years is the max and is pushing it. No way any woman that" wants" to be married should wait more than 1 year.

[@tarahbruno3793]

@@NiobeNeo Rule number 1 is the key. Why would he marry you if you are a free wife?

[@MsFadir]

First stitch: she knew marrige was something she wanted. He knew married was something she wanted. But she only found out he didn't want to marry after 6 years. She didn't say he lied to her, she didn't say he changed his mind... she said she found out. If you want something really bad with your partner, make sure you TALK about it.

[@VendieSolde]

Very true. But he knew and if he were decent he would have pumped the brakes.

[@MsFadir]

@@VendieSolde Have you been at a bar or restaurant until they make you leave because they are closing? That's how I feel some people operate. They know they won't move forward with the relation, but they're enjoying what they're having so they'll stay. Until someone kicks them out or leave.

[@thepragmatist]

@@MsFadir Excellent analogy.

[@maenad1231]

He did lie to her. Thats a textbook lie of omission

[@radicalreactions1633]

@@MsFadir That's just excuses to use someone for their resources.

[@patrice6139]

I, unfortunately, was a long-term girlfriend at one point. I was with a guy for 6 years, lived together, and we were engaged. Then covid hit. Restrictions eventually lifted, and when I suggested going to the courthouse, he'd give me excuses. It wasn't until he became physically abusive that I realized nothing was going to change and I had to leave for my own safety and sanity.

[@thesecretshade]

You realized. You are blessed. You walked away. You're blessed 🙏🏽

[@brookew2403]

I strongly disagree with giving an ultimatum. I don’t personally know any women who gave an ultimatum and got a happy marriage. They all got a “shut up ring.” Followed by a miserable wedding because “isn’t this what you wanted?!” And now they are all married single mothers because all hubby was willing to provide was sperm and a warm body for holiday photos 🤦🏾‍♀️.

[@omphilemoerane2569]

True. Weddings of friends who gave their partner a ultimatum were all a traumatic nightmare cause the guy really didn't want to do it.

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

I been in a relationship for 6 years and we met in college. We are getting married next year but I definitely don’t recommend staying in a relationship that long if you want to get married unless yall met when yall were really young.

[@thepragmatist]

Yes. It makes sense in this case because you met in college. In this case, I think it was better to wait. All the best to you and your fiancé!

[@tandzilebhembe1255]

Congratulations sis and I feel the exact same way tbh, I’m in uni and I’ve met my partner in my first year and got with him in my first year and we’ve planned to get married at least by the next 6-8 years because I want to build my life first and we are sure about each other, if I had met him when we were both established I’d never accept 8 years I believe in 2 years should have been enough men know who they want.

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

Even with the young meeting type of stuff- if it takes him all the way into your 30s and beyond- and still no marriage , then that should let the woman know something. You must be in your late 20s, possibly early 30s now. People can meet at 17, but if y’all still aren’t married by 30,31,32- I mean, after that you’re just trying to force it on him.

[@thepragmatist]

@@tandzilebhembe1255 Exactly. Timing plays a role.

[@tarahbruno3793]

@@PrettyPrincess9609 6yrs? You’re better than me

[@annstewart8506]

Women need to stop "auditioning" to be partners and wives. It doesn't take years to fathom whether you are suited!

[@seabreeze4559]

he should audition too but that isn't being a galley slave

[@nursefulness2274]

In many cultures (including my own), long term girlfriends are seen as fools. Like if ya’ll did not meet in middle school/high school, there’s no excuse to stay in a relationship for more than 2-3 years. (3 years is pushing it severely)

[@comradeelmo8923]

Such bullshit, the boyfriend is definietly the fool there. So many here are pushing the guys mistakes onto the women and I find that annoying.

[@nursefulness2274]

I actually disagree. What exactly is the guy’s mistake? He is purposely using another woman’s resources and deceiving her by not proposing. That isn’t being a fool, that’s being a calculated narcissist. The woman in this case is, sadly, the fool. She’s being played by her boyfriend. I know we always want to side with the woman, but I’m not siding with anyone in this case. If it is your goal to get married, make that clear and have a deadline. You are literally giving YEARS of your life away. Men are truly wicked and unforgiving. Women need to stop sticking around and being naive.

[@seabreeze4559]

and they drag out the engagement for years too

[@maenad1231]

Don’t be a placeholder. Good Men are territorial & protective of what they love by nature (though not inherently controlling or possessive) and being territorial and protective will more than motivate a man to claim you as his. My husband was saying things that insinuated that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me within the first few months and proposed before we got to the one year of dating mark. If you’re in your mid twenties (23-26) or older don’t let them bullshit you with the “not sure if ready”. It’s not that he isn’t ready it’s that he doesn’t want it with YOU.

[@Delilah513]

Women who agree to be forever girlfriends have only themselves to blame. Why would you hang around for 3-10+ years without a ring?

[@seabreeze4559]

or they get a ring and refuse to set a date

[@Heykay34]

Idk if you don’t want marriage or kids this message may not be for you. I would say focus on yourself and center yourself ALWAYS.

[@pettypossum724]

This right here. Marriage doesn't benefit women like it does men. The sooner women prioritize and protect themselves then the glorification of $50000 wedding days will look like the scam it is

[@Heykay34]

@@pettypossum724 yup whether you’re in a relationship or not, make moves that center you with consequences you can deal with 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@love-wg5vy]

THIS! Love it!

[@khloekloset3645]

2years. I'd say experiencing a bereavement, job loss, illness etc..and how supportive your partner is during any of these things should determine if they're worth sticking around for. I also think if you're both not on the same page on the subject of whether marriage/kids then LEAVE!

[@Bubbles-kk9zs]

Golly, I'm getting nervous over here 😅. Anyone else?

[@daishawilliams8301]

My grandparents always told me that if he doesn't give you his last name than he is not worthy of being your husband.😊

[@craftressc3701]

It is not that he doesn't want to get married, he just don't want to marry you. How many times the guy don't want marriage and all of a sudden he marries someone else in 6 months after breaking up with you?

[@beeha8133]

I’m so scared of marriage. I like my space and my autonomy. My guy and I have been rocking for a minute, and at 40 something, this is the longest relationship I have ever been in. Never been the girl to keep guys around too long lol I actually like him but I like my life. I told him if in 2 years, after my son graduates high school, we can have the marriage discussion to see if it’s what we really want. Marriage seems to be such a big decision and folks take it too lightly. We take on bills, family dynamics etc and have to live together. That’s a lot to deal with. I might need my own room lol If you want to marry and he doesn’t, move on. If you don’t want to marry and he does, let him move on. But make a decision based on what is best for you. Always think about YOU FIRST.

[@maureenp2248]

Fwiw, married people don't HAVE to live together. Usually they want to, but you do you.

[@LearnAsYouGo.]

I have a a few friends who always wanted marriage but now they’re baby mamas to their boyfriends. The boyfriends know they want to get married too but have yet to propose. One of my friends told me that she got into a huge fight with her boyfriend because I asked her when they were planning to get married (they had been dating for over 4 years & had a child). I didn’t think it was a problem to ask her about it but after she told me that it made her mad with him & that they had the huge argument I told her that I would never ask again & would wait until she wanted to talk to me about it. It’s been 2 years since then & he still hasn’t proposed. I want to talk to her about her worth & that she deserves marriage if that’s what she wants but I’m scared to broach the topic so I’ll just remain quiet about it.

[@mikasjewels5772]

I'm so happy this conversation is being had. Women, please shine your eyes! Wake up!! If your "bride price" hasn't been paid within 2 years, please move on.

[@hernameisch3rry]

I’m in a long term relationship where we live together. Huge mistake. I’m saving up to move out and become a single woman again. He has grown stagnant on making plans for the future. It’s one of my biggest shames. I was too young to realize I was giving precious years to him.

[@seabreeze4559]

ask him for money on small things like snacks and pocket some of it

[@shalandaclarke2303]

Priscilla, when I tell you that I ❤ your content! From shut up rings to women knowing their worth to now LONG TERM GIRLFRIENDS! Coming out of a 14 yr relationship with no marriage in sight. It’s like your content knew me. Thank you 🙏

[@EspritsFantomes]

I think it depends when you met. If I start dating at 22, I don’t want a ring at 24. No thank you. If I start dating at 28, that’s a different story.

[@chloelageaux769]

This is why women SHOULD have a short time frame! No, you will NEVER completely know someone, however, why waste YEARS of your life waiting around just hoping that he will change his mind! More often than not, he does want to be married just not to you!

[@Birdrobin15]

Marriage is completely different to being boyfriend and girlfriend. However, people dont realise this and do the most in these unions. Men know this as well, thats why he aint proposed he aint ready to step up and commit fully.

[@seabreeze4559]

and they say it's like wife auditions.... then why isn't he husband?

[@ccannon1]

This is really confusing to me. I’ve never loved a man more than my own hopes, dreams and aspirations. If y’all weren’t teenagers when you met, a 10 year relationship with no engagement and active planning for marriage seems like a weird thing to do for someone who wants to get married

[@bubblesactivated]

No ma’am. Don’t give a man an ultimatum. Why do you have to coerce somebody into being with you? That’s desperation at its finest. You don’t like being coerced into something, so why make somebody else do it too. No. Just leave and keep it pushing

[@Lulu-l]

no, don´t give them an ultimatum, that is forcing things and you'll get a shut up ring. Just ask for a time and say the why, explain that you wanted a commitment and that you are ready for it but you don't feel that he wants the same. That will give him time to think and if he wants to he will propose.

[@pagie2467]

Sometimes he wastes your time when he's married to you. A ring doesn't always equal commitment, financial security or faithfulness. At least as a long term "relationship" you can escape with minimal damage.

[@keirahleesha486]

💯💯💯

[@maryannspicher]

The name changing alone on everything is a giant pain!

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

Ok Mrs Paige boo, keep settling for less. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with low value men who aren’t faithful and who are wasting your time.

[@keirahleesha486]

@@beautiful_wonderfullymade what is wrong with you😭

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@keirahleesha486 😏

[@missrain5164]

Sometimes it works Most times it doesn’t work. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@tysontyme3691]

Just to help put women on game from a man's perspective, state in the beginning how long u will date them without marriage. BE CLEAR!!!! Next is the tricky part. Date and don't say a word about marriage. No passive aggressive "hints", no poutin when others r engaged/married around u, NOTHING! Don't ingrain ur life to the point where leaving at the deadline is delayed. When the deadline is close start ur exit plan, deadline arrives, u leave!!! Then explain once safely away why u left. It will be simple. He didn't marry u by the stated time mentioned earlier in the beginning. And I get this is easier said than done but don't have his kids!!! That will be a literal anchor created to potentially set u up for an existence of manipulation, excessive labor, stalking, emotional/financial abuse, and even DEATH( via childbirth or his own hands). A woman that has a man's child without any documented declaration of commitment (marriage) will subconsciously be seen as a woman with low value and even lower self-respect. (Even if he's physically still present). Trust me on this. If he didn't remember because that was "so long ago", that shows 2 key things, he didn't listen to the important things u said and he didn't take the topic of marriage seriously (so why is he dating u at all?). This is just a respectful suggestion to help. Say what u want from jump and stand on it. 👍🏾

[@BoujeeGrapes]

Ladies....hear me and hear me good..read?! You can not "good girlfriend" your way into making a man change for you. You can not "good girlfriend" your way into making a man change his mind about kids/marriage. You can not "good girlfriend " your way into making a man stop being unfaithful. Stop the foolishness today ✌🏾

[@tallglasscocoa6105]

Women will leave a job if the money aint mathing, the pto, sick, holiday leave isnt enough but will stay years with a guy who barely does anything. Its a reason jobs have yearly evaluation. After the 90 day probation period is over and hes not cutting it. Sent out help wanted: New boyfriend leading to marriage position.

[@neema1]

When I will be looking for marriage, I will give myself 6months in a relationship and if he is not heading anywhere, boy bye!

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

I know Thts right

[@peggedyourdad9560]

In my experience people will show their real personality after about 3 months, I will usually give it 4 to see if I like the person enough to stay.

[@DrKrysRacquel]

Yes!!! God is using you, my sister. I was just talking about marriage timelines. I love your content! ❤️

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Thanks sis that’s encouraging ❤️❤️

[@ms.boogie8132]

The only reason men are allowed to get away with dragging their feet is because women don't like their own company and are afraid to be alone. Being alone does not mean you are lonely. Take time to be by yourself, learn what you want and don't want, and establish standards, boundaries, and expectations (thanks Cyn G). Don't be afraid to walk away if what you require, isn't being met. Don't let family, friends or society tell you there is a time limit, because there isn't. Men have no problem drawing a line in the sand and walking away when a situation doesn't benefit them or they have found who they really want to be with. They will use you UNTIL they have found someone who is more beneficial to them. Don't be a placeholder. It stunts your growth, diminishes your energy, and wastes precious time. Ladies, date date, date! Do not waste time with just one guy, they aren't wasting time with just one woman. FYI, dating does not mean having sex, moving in with a man, or having a baby. It does not take 2-20 years for a man to know if he wants to be with you. The only reason he is still there without marriage, (if that's what you want) is because it wasn't required of him.

[@9darshana]

But once you have to give a guy an ultimatum, it's already downhill from there...just leave.

[@miriam9908]

I don’t want to be rude but cmon how after 3 years you’re still staying with someone who didn’t pop the question and allow more time to pass..ladies please don’t do this to yourself no matter what

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

I love your mindset !

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

I think most women who claim they don’t want marriage- just say that because they’re with a man who isn’t offering it. If he does offer it, it might be 20 years into it- after he can’t play games anymore:

[@prettyangel0921]

Im in different to marriage vs long term partner. In my opinion marriage is only necessary if you want kids or buying big ticket purchases together. As for a time limit. I think a max of 4 years is enough to learn/study your partner and known if you can deal with them forever.

[@kittenkat5244]

Gurl u stay on that Pickmesha pipeline to poverty. The rest of us aint gonna waste our youth and precious time on these dusty males. 😹🥂🐻

[@rl453]

Am so grateful my late husband waited for SEVEN years for me asking. I was gun shy and kept making excuses. He supported me emotionally and every other way through school, was an awesome step father. He left his love with me when he left his body and went to the afterlife. Different story than most of these but very grateful he didn’t get sick of waiting for me.

[@olikah4667]

10:01 I say no to ultimatums because men will say yes to marrying u then throw it in your face years down the line.

[@nursefulness2274]

I have literally never heard of a marriage being successful or even lasting after a long term relationship of more than 3 years. Like it NEVER works. You know what I do hear? “We only knew each other for 2 weeks-6 months before he proposed and now we have been married for 30+ years” 💀😂

[@tinahilliard4447]

We were a couple for 6 years , got married and have been married for 16 years. We were friends for years before we became a couple. We have a 30 year history.

[@MsFadir]

@@nursefulness2274 Here comes Tina with her successful love story to shut you up 😅. But, on a serious not, I agree with you. There are exceptions though. @tinahilliard4447 Congrats 🥰

[@pettypossum724]

Many of those 30+ year marriages were still unhappy behind closed doors

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

@pettypossum724 And so are the ones where they get married after maybe 10 + plus years of knowing one another.

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

@tinahilliard4447 So in that history has he slept with other women? Have you had to go and confront other women to lay your claim to him. The comment below mentions how even people who get married after a shorter amount of time- and stay for multiple years still struggle. So… is there no struggle after being together for years like you say? People often use history as an excuse.

[@TheQUBANQT]

Wasted my 20s as a longterm live in girlfriend, got as far as engagement. It was a waste of my youth. Be sure you & the man you’re with have the same goals early in. If I had a Time Machine I would’ve ended the relationship 2 years in & moved on to the next man.

[@MsFadir]

Your points expire after 1 year, so... you get 365 points (1 point/day) for the 14th year.

[@missrain5164]

😂😂

[@EBaker-bz8gx]

My friend lived with her boyfriend. Gave it eleven months then told him, "I'm out". They got married at the courthouse and still married (thirty five years). Only this works when the man truly cares, otherwise it's a wake up call when the man says, "See ya." Men don't care. Women take care of yourselves.

[@savedgirl309]

Sometimes I think people see this in my relationship, i’ve had people made comments, just because we’ve been together for 9 years. But truthfully, he’s always made me his priority, he’s never given me a reason to doubt his commitment. He’s a great partner. He brought up marriage and ring sizes. But due to some major health and financial setbacks we’ve had over the years, we haven’t got there, yet. We’ve sat down and set our goals. Around this time next year we’ll be married and buying a house.

[@victorias5272]

No one knows the ins and outs of your relationship like you do, so take other people’s opinions with a grain of salt. HOWEVER, you must sit and be honest with yourself, as well. The feeling of love is different than the act of commitment. Men know and understand the legal and social rights and responsibilities that marriage provides, and that man has left you without that for 9 years. If you accept his reasons for doing that, then that’s for you and you alone to decide. However, running up to the courthouse to make it official costs less than $100 and a couple of hours of your time. If you’re really and truly being honest with yourself, think if that act would have been too much for him to do between all the reasons he’s provided you.

[@MsFadir]

@@victorias5272 💯

[@MsFadir]

@@savedgirl309 There's marriage and there's the wedding. Life setbacks can justify a long-term wait for the wedding. For the marriage though... Not long ago a video went viral of a man who purposed and married his dying girlfriend in a hospital bed. She had cancer and died shortly after.

[@savedgirl309]

@@victorias5272 all very true. We’ve talked about going to the courthouse, but we want a wedding. He’s been writing his vows, he’s excited. I have always appreciated how honest and trustworthy he is, It’s not that he’s providing me reasons or excuses, we’ve had practical discussions. After college he brought up getting married, I never had to pressure him. We made a game plan. We started setting aside money for the wedding and a house payment. But we had some major life events that seriously slowed progress. He recently accepted a great job, and the first thing he did was reconfirm my ring size, unprompted. Our love and commitment has never felt in question, it’s the practical/logistical piece ended up being challenging. But with our new jobs things are falling into place.

[@tarahbruno3793]

Idc what anyone says. The majority of women want to get married! Especially if you’ve invested so much time and effort into a man.that has got to be the worst when there is no progress. A man knows when he wants to marry you if it’s been over a year with no advancement move on.

[@AmberColeman-gq1wn]

They always say they don’t want it- or are “non-traditional”… Yet are in the house, cooking, cleaning, tending to his kids- and unfortunately these women are usually the bread winner. It’s like they’re trying to prove to the men how well they can provide for him and take protect him.

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

Exactly! They just adopt that “marriage is just a piece of paper” narrative to pacify themselves with the thought of never being married to that low life who waisted their time !!!

[@soulsistah5738]

I’m 31 I dnt want to get married or have kids

[@tarahbruno3793]

@@AmberColeman-gq1wn the irony of it all 😂

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@soulsistah5738 she said a MAJORITY. Not all

[@zero1188]

Really depends. Sometimes it works sometimes it dont. Not always bIack and white

[@kittenkat5244]

U pickmeshas and ince1z always coming out of the woodwork to defend narcissistic males behavior. Ladies stay off the Pickmesha pipeline to poverty. Males don't like pickmeshas either just look at pearl.

[@Christianmorgan12]

Single life all the way 4 m🤞

[@aldijana124]

Ultimatum girl is desperate and can’t stand to be by herself. A pick-me, if you will.

[@MyWorld-xw6ic]

Chile i have a friend who can’t stand to be by herself and I don’t know any more ways to tell her that’s not good. She’s 23 so I guess life will have to teach her 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@aldijana124]

@@MyWorld-xw6ic Right exactly, they all go through those hard lessons, trust

[@mrsrockbison]

There is actually this couple ( A & D) that are influencers and they’ve been dating and living together for 10 years. She clearly wants to get married and even made content about it, He knows. He won’t propose. I completely stopped watching their content for years now because it just makes me uncomfortable the fact he wont propose to her…I fell sorry for her…for them…10 years is just too long…without a ring…

[@yahainHotPink]

😭😭😭😭 The first video clip. I feel bad. I believe in marriage but I don't date as I do not want marriage this side of Armageddon.

[@daishawilliams8301]

My grandparents always told me that if he doesn't give you his last name than he is not worthy of being your husband my grandparents on my father's side is Mexican and they didn't play that you knocking up random woman but no commitment mess and vice versa they come from a time period were if you got her pregnant or got pregnant by him then you had to marry that person stigma was strong.😊

[@pettypossum724]

That's nice and all, but talking about putting a last name on another woman like it's an honor is disgusting.

[@ceruleanwonder]

10:02 girl, no. Everyone else can do what they want but I’m not begging someone to marry me. I’m also not going to threaten them. You can do it because you want to or I’ll be gone, simple as that.

[@cunningtricksterrabbit]

I'm a lesbian in a relationship with another woman. She already has a child and I'm not interested in having children myself. We aren't rushing into marriage, but we are talking about getting married one day. We are more interested in letting our relationship progress naturally at its own pace than at a rushed pace (aka we better be married in 3 years for example). We have been together for one year now. I think that since we don't have a timeline we can just enjoy the process versus rush the process. Idk maybe it's different for straight people. But if you are unhappy in your relationship, communicate with your partner your needs in a relationship. If that doesn't work, either try therapy with them, or leave if that doesn't work. You can leave at any time if that is within your ability to do so. In my experience watching others, if you are unhappy in a long term relationship with someone I highly doubt marriage will make you happy with them. Marriage doesn't make your problems with them go away, that takes work. You can start the work way before you even get married too. When I have a problem with my partner and vice versa- we communicate with each other and then the other person apologizes and stops doing the thing etc.

[@hazelnut_toffee]

It’s so interesting that this is still a thing in 2024 when it’s been a conversation for most of my adult life (and I’m 38). I was played until it got to 18 months of a situationship and I left… he made it official with the next girl within a month… and to be fair she demanded it… it was devastating. I can’t imagine being strung along for a decade or more 😱.

[@Aster_Risk]

My husband and I met when we were both 12. We started dating at 20, discussed marriage that first month, got engaged for my 21st birthday and married that year in July. We have been married for 12 years now. I don't recommend getting married that young to most people, but definitely talk about marriage early and don't waste your time if marriage is what you want. But also, don't jump in just to get married to anyone. I was lucky enough to know my husband as a person and we are growing together as people. I would likely be single right now if I hadn't lucked out with him.

[@TomTom-co9ig]

From the beginning of my relationship once it was serious I would say to my partner you got 3 years max of my time for decisions. That's enough to see the good bad and ugly and see if it's a keeper. And now we are married with no pushing from me and didn't move in until 2 months to the wedding 11 years strong and counting

[@MizMorgue1]

I agree with most of these stories, but not the woman who says u or the man KNOWS in 6 months. Lol. That's ridiculous. 6 months is still the infancy of a relationship. 2, 3 yrs tops. I go by the psychology studies of this subject, but, that's me. There isn't a man alive that I KNEW I even loved in 6 months to a year.

[@Zxgrhexbj]

I remember there’s a Reddit story(I’m sorry I don’t remember all the details) from not to long ago from the OP being at a friends wedding and how the bride told the groom when they first started dating on her expectations and deadlines on when she wanted to be married and I THINK when she would start having kids. If the groom hadn’t proposed at her deadline she would breakup with him. Obviously since the story takes place a the wedding he proposed. I can’t remember if it was the OP or a friend(that weren’t married yet but wanted to be) were upset because the bride said they should have been upfront with want they wanted since the beginning then they wouldn’t be in the situation they were in. But yeah if you want to be married give them a deadline and if they haven’t done it yet break up. Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy.

[@Trinitytruth7]

Please do not listen to a woman who tells you that an ultimatum is the way to get your man to commit. If you have to threaten a mofo to love you, you’ve already lost. Who man wants to go to the altar for a resentment wedding?

[@natural3362]

I will always choose me and put me first. I have made the mistake of putting others before me and i pay a great price for it. Took me a long time to heal. The hurt is painful. I could use this energy to heal for other things but i have to use this energy to heal instead.. Oh my gosh.. I wish my younger self could feel emotions and heal from trauma and not repeat mistake and learn lessons Mistake only happened once.. If it happened again it's stupidity because it's born out of conscious choice of wanting a different outcome by doing the same thing

[@maryjanerx]

I was with him for 6 years. He didnt wanna marry me. That's fine. Im better off single

[@Jaycarbrownie12]

No living with a man before marriage is bad it doesn’t work out

[@Trinitytruth7]

We sadly have learned from wise loved ones and relationship coaches that men know within 6-12 months whether a woman is “the one.” However, we have also learned that unless a man is straight out of college and building himself or has been in the military and wants to end that commitment, then all other men ARE STRINGING YOU ALONG! And they cannot do it unless you allow it. Do NOT count on a man to tell you he doesn’t want marriage, PAY ATTENTION TO HIS ACTIONS NOT HIS WORDS. You are being used as a placeholder until he has enough assets for his dream girl.

[@paniskorpion66]

That's why when I entered my current relationship I stated that I was dating to find a husband and that I would give him two years to propose. Then I would leave because I wouldn't let anyone waste my time. He took it to heart and immediately started doing everything he could to propose in two years and hear a yes. He was so concerned that he even made a note of what stones I wanted on the ring.

[@michaelag8256]

Hey Priscilla I think you mentioned something a while back about starting another page for makeup and beauty, has that happened at all? I’d love to see you talk about those types of things

[@soulsistah5738]

I dnt want get married or have kids , so thankfully no man could “make “ me chose potential or eager for anything.

[@zoejaiattoh1243]

I had unlearn this behavior, my mother was lucky and married her childhood sweetheart from high school .. and that’s how I was taught meanwhile.. life is different and this was a rare occurrence.. chillle reality hit me bad .. smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Rachel-lo6if]

I think dating should be 2 years because that's when a person relaxes enough to show their true colors, and if you can't imagine being happily married by then/other person isn't willing to get married it's time to leave.

[@kayla_theysaid]

My boyfriend & I have been together for 16 yrs. He knew I wanted to get married one day. & it's been so long, I don't want to get married anymore. I keep telling him, if he wanted to marry me, he would. He hasn't even asked. At this point I'm wasting more time. We have 3 kids together and a 4th on the way. Been wanting to be done, bcuz I'm lost, emotionally drained, mentally drained. I can't do it anymore and keep waiting or hoping he will ask. 😢

[@AquariusOcean]

This is besides the point but I need the link to your headband wig 😅

[@shirinshirazi]

1 yr max. Dont be bothered by any one qho thinks you are desperate or making a mistake. Its more tha. Enough time for both of you to ro know if marriage is the next step

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I’m scared because he’s been so wonderful.. but it’s been 10 years

[@alwaysyouramanda]

As a kid I told myself I wouldn’t marry unless it’s been 10 years. I’m realizing I don’t have time like that anymore- I just saw what 2 years before marriage did for my mom (nothing. He changed it up just as soon as they married.)

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I waisted 6 before this one with an abuser so I really shouldn’t complain

[@Nike-vx6li]

Damn, Amanda. Get your shit together ❤

[@shenellwilson3951]

I know a guy who proposed to his girl after 6 months of dating I don't understand why people is waiting 6 years or more.

[@prettyproblem16]

What do you y'all think about this ultimatum? Isn't that just a shut up ring

[@madelynsage8728]

What about really young couples? I’m 19, and my boyfriend is 21. We’ve been together for over a year and I think he is the one. He said that he wants to complete school before getting married. He plans to return to college next year when he is 22, so odds are we won’t be getting married for another 5 years. I am okay with that personally, but what’s your opinion on that?

[@CalebTheOwlBoy]

Here I was thinking the marriage IS the long-term relationship.... Am I missing something here?

[@AmoreMiu]

The only reasons my boyfriend of 4 years and I are waiting to get engaged is because I want him to meet my dad and ask him for my hand (my dad lives in Spain ), second reason; we are saving up for a destination wedding since both our families live outside the US in different continents.

[@MyWorld-xw6ic]

I hope yall have your money saved in separate accounts.

[@AmoreMiu]

@@MyWorld-xw6ic Yea, what’s your point?

[@user-sm6od4tx2p]

The lady at 8:04 is 100% correct.

[@miniskillet0587]

Why not a cohabitation agreement if you dont want to get married but still protect yourself? I dont want a shut up ring for something like marriage that I dont want. It doesn't sound like a good financial decision. Marriage does not guarantee monogamy or loyalty.

[@ChubbiBun]

It sounds like they are using these women as convenient “place holders” until The One comes along.

[@_KrystalAlexis]

Depends on how old you are .

[@mazwane953]

I was in a relationship with his guy for 3yrs and I left him. We were in a relationship but I never had sex with him and visited his place 3 times in 3 yrs. 1. He was still studying. 2. He always called me when he was in the toilet outside and would go outside if I called. 3. Ive never met any one in his life in the 3yrs we've been together and we would meet atleast once a week. I am glad I never had sex with him coz when I asked him if he wanted marriage. He told me that he was scared that he would raise my child and the child would just want to go back to their father. I left. He is still crying. I blocked him and moved on. My current boyfirwnd introduced me to his family in less that 3months and is already talking marriage.

[@mimi42428]

9:36 girl you got a shut up ring 🙄

[@LadyCharity]

Many men aren't marriage minded so stop wasting time with people who want to see where it goes. My dad says men know usually when and who their dating is marriage material. It doesn't take years either. My grandfather married by grandmother 3 months from the day they met. My dad proposed after 6 months of dating my mother. My parents have been married over 40 years. Same for my grandparents until my grandfather passed. I don't have 2 years. I'm giving 6 months and moving on.

[@satoshistand]

If im you’re LTGF that means I’m also someone elses. Theres no way I’m not still shopping around in that situation.

[@zanealexanderZA]

If after 18months there's no engagement followed by a marriage maximum of 6months later Then leave If you want marriage don't stay with someone who is using you as a starter long term relationship

[@meli7315]

Amen and hallelujah in Jesus name 🎉

[@BABYDOLL87LOVELY]

#4B 🐻

[@hibiscus6466]

I think I wanna be single..... Rn.

[@LearnAsYouGo.]

9:32 these 3 stories are awful..none of these women won anything! 😂😂😂😂

[@FA9082]

CITYBOYS UP!!! 😂

[@noahemmanuelkekana2527]

What if The Man doesn't want marriage?

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Then if the woman doesn’t also want marriage, they can be partners but if she does then she must find someone who will give her that.

[@westbdeon]

I pray that men make women wait however long that they need to. Marriage is not something a man should willingly commit to just because he's been with someone for a certain amount of years. It needs to be based off of principles and clear expectations about how both individuals will support each other until death do them part. A man will literally lose half of what he owns and more if the marriage falls apart. This is going to be controversial to say , but most people don't deserve a marriage.

[@pettypossum724]

No he won't. That's MRA speak. Divorce splits the assets accumulated together. Men crying on message boards don't want to admit how bad they are at money management.

[@Gem-n-life]

@@pettypossum724-Women don’t walk away with an abundance, unless there was an abundance she walked in to, in the first place. Most people are building together, with the woman contributing more than half. If she looks like me, she’s likely the one who will walk away with far less than she went in with.

[@pettypossum724]

@@Gem-n-life i simply explained how the law is supposed to work. It is known that women suffer financially at the hands of men and that liars on message boards either never made much money or pulled a Stunt and spent their assets down like fools.

[@blueorgin]

Pro tip: men know within SIX MONTHS their intentions for you. We know this to be true because they will leave a woman and be married a month later. At the SIX MONTH MARK IF MARRIAGE IS YOUR GOAL LEAVE. Also do not move in with a man who is not your HUSBAND. He will use you for practice! We are nearly half way through this decade and no woman should be staying beyond a year of marriage is her goal!