Why Trauma Bonding is So Powerful

Previously, we made a video about trauma bonding and many of you resonated with the video. So we made another one. Have you ever wondered what trauma bonding really is? How does it work? Why is it so hard to break free from its grasp? If these questions resonate with you, you're in the right place. Throughout this video, we will explore the ins and outs of trauma bonding, shedding light on its mechanisms and shedding light on the hidden aspects that make it such a powerful force.
Trauma bonding, often referred to as a "trauma bond," is a complex psychological phenomenon that forms in toxic relationships, such as those involving narcissists or individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Here is the link to the previous trauma bonding video: • 8 Signs Its A Trauma B...
#trauma #traumabond
Writer: Stela Košić
Editor: Caitlin McColl
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Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
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[@angb6616]

Thank you for using this massively popular example of what not to be for relationship goals.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you! We hope that the Harley/Joker reference gave you some insight into toxic relationships!

[@user-qo4es1zo2y]

@@Psych2go Cuz I'm duh jokeuh baybeeeh!

[@angb6616]

@Psych2go Funnily enough, I had clicked on this thinking it was going to discuss how being in a traumatic situation or life experience can bond you to someone, whether that’s healthy or not. I haven’t looked at your extensive list of videos to see if this topic was already discussed by Psych2Go.

[@thecorrupted3217]

Can trauma bond be good? My two friends and I have a trauma bond well my friends and I got stronger with it. We helped eachother through all of our trauma over time and unfolding our lives for eachother and in the end we all are now just great friends. Sometimes we did get hurt in the process but in the end it worked out fine.

[@princesschelsea1558]

@@thecorrupted3217I think in this instance a “trauma bond” and “bonding over similar trauma experiences” is very different. It’s totally normal to seek people who understand what you’ve gone through and you can comfort each other. For trauma bonding like in this video, the relationship itself is the trauma. I hope that makes sense 😊

[@MSMW23]

After 32 years, I am finally getting out of a toxic, trauma bonded relationship, this video is a snapshot of my life. There wasn't physical abuse, but emotional in spades including verbal, blaming, shaming, cheating, alcoholism and withdrawal of affection. I am still in the same house as her, but will be gone as soon as I can find a new place to live. 3 days ago I got abused for cleaning a small area of a floor I wasn't supposed to. Afterwards, I was told WE need to communicate better. Now it seems it is my fault for the breakdown of the relationship. Trauma bonding is very powerful, I should have left 2 decades ago when it started, but it's never too late to get out of this cycle. All my friends and family, including hers have congratulated me for finally getting out. Even my adult children are happy for me.

[@kalashmakhija9579]

So proud of you! Know that people love you and are there for you. Genuinely, you’re brave❤️

[@emmalestrangeart1331]

It's so wonderful that you are about to embark on your new life filled with love ❤ stay safe

[@architapatnaik687]

We are happy for you as well. 🎉 wishing you a new life with more peace and happiness.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for using your experience to encourage others. We hope that people read your story and get the courage to leave toxic relationships without hesitation!

[@Art-kl3gu]

I'm so proud of you! ❤️ I hope you'll find a place to move out

[@rikitikitavatiki]

"You matter." Just two words at the end of the video. And yet we all need to be reminded of that.

[@Psych2go]

You do matter! 💙

[@irinadumitru9088]

​@@Psych2go❤

[@Morpheus-pt3wq]

Basically, "love at first sight", a.k.a "love actually does not work like that". Each time, your relationship seems to be progressing too fast and it all seems to be too good to be true, you should take a step (or multiple) back and carefully observe. Most of the time, you are not falling for the other person, but the other person is mirroring you back, which means, you are falling for yourself.

[@mooshumushu]

I had a trauma bond with an ex-best friend. It took five years to leave that relationship, but with the help of my cousin I got out and I’ve never felt happier than I am right now.

[@Clemsterful]

Thanks for sharing this as it happens in friendships as well

[@ALGARIC]

Did the trauma bond felt like love at some point?

[@thor9356]

I've been in a relationship like this with my ex. The intermittent love she gave me, how she made me genuinely believe that I was stupid and didn't disagree when I called myself an idiot. It took a lot of courage to leave that relationship and work towards rebuilding my confidence. I remember a video of these two friends. One girl was holding a piece of glass while her friend told her to let go. The girl refused because she believed that if she let go, she'd be nothing and wouldn't have anything. Her friend convinced her to let go of the shard of glass and she began to feel better.

[@Psych2go]

Thanks for sharing your experience. How did you decide to leave the relationship? Was it a gradual process? Or was it an all-or-nothing decision?

[@thor9356]

@Psych2go The relationship had been going on for a year and a half. I knew things were bad when one night the voice in my head (ex's voice) was telling me I was no good, I was an airhead, an autistic retard. I wanted to hurt myself, but I couldn't go through with it. I was too scared and I broke down crying that night. I called my mom at midnight because I just needed someone to talk to. She talked me through it. Reminded me that I was smart, kind and special to those that loved me. To answer the question, it was gradual. After how things ended after the holidays last year I made the decision to break up with her. It took a lot of courage to walk away. I don't regret it. I sought therapy, talked with friends and family. They really got me through a difficult period. I'm with someone I genuinely love now, she lifts my spirits and fills in the scars with love and care. I go out of my way for her and help her as much too. I'm genuinely lucky to have her in my life.

[@contra5123]

Does that happen to be one of Stanzi Potenza's videos by any chance?

[@thor9356]

@@contra5123 Yeah that's the one.

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). Traumatic roots 0:35 2). Love me, then hate me 1:36 3). False beliefs and loyalties 2:30 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@Psych2go]

Thank you again 💙💙

[@A55a551n]

@@Psych2go not a problem happy to help 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@elle5627]

This reminds me of my relationship with my brother. He was my most favorite person, my light, as the video said. We shared a difficult childhood, abusive, alcoholic, sometimes absent, sometimes present father. When he became a teenager, he was going through a lot and he started beating me up. Me, his little sister. I hated it but I loved him so so much because I understood his pain, I was the only one who could truly see him. He continued beating me up and controlling me. A decade goes by and he's still my most favorite person. I'm so proud of him, I talk about him to all my friends- that he's such an awesome big brother whom I look up to... I will not accept that he's abusing me. I forgive him instantly. Because he has his bad side, but he has a good side too- he showers me with gifts. But year by year, I start fearing him more and more. It's fear mixed with love and I'm still blind to the abuse I'm facing. I start hurting myself and trying to kill myself and have constant thoughts of suicide. I finally agree to myself that it's abuse, horrible physical and verbal abuse. But I forgive him. I make excuses for him. I empathise with him and continue to love him. Whereas, I continue to hate myself and think of killing myself with some failed attempts.... Sorry for rambling, guess it's nice to talk about anonymously. Also, wanted to tell people that this happens between siblings as well. Sibling abuse is very common but it's not spoken about and even parents brush it off. But if you're going through something like this, tell an adult if you're a child, tell someone. If they don't listen or they threaten you not to talk about it with anyone else, don't listen to them and find a person or get help through an organisation. It's NOT okay that this is happening to you. PLEASE get help. In my case, I loved my brother so much that I didn't want to get him into trouble. But imagine if someone else was telling you this, what would you do? Love yourself and get help.

[@deviantartguy0]

Well said, chum. Perhaps we should make you an honorary Robin! All it takes to be a hero, is a few well spent seconds out of your day.

[@ALGARIC]

Hi, we had the same childhood, were you diagnosed by BPD?

[@bonniechiu5310]

You are very brave to survive this😢

[@elle5627]

Awww I'm so sorry. No, I've had bouts of depression but I finally got help. I did a 12 week Grief Recovery course. It was eye opening and very helpful! But mostly what got me through, and gets me through life is my faith in Jesus Christ :) How are you dealing with it?@@ALGARIC

[@mirabelwatson7863]

Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in November. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

[@zarkos2313]

Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again again but it’s just so hard to source out of there.

[@jorgparker2463]

A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels

[@markaxel9799]

The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

[@Elizabeth-gu8hx]

@@laurapolonioli6576Is he on instagram?

[@gergbernes2817]

depression and anxiety is like the worst disease you can get

[@oOneenOo]

God. I wish I had this channel during my first marriage. Over the years, I've been realizing more and more that my ex wife was a narcissist and in hindsight, I can't believe I stayed as long as I did. I met her right after I lost the girl I loved to suicide and I had no idea that someone could manipulate that or do these things. I had stopped caring about a lot of things too so it was easy for it to happen I guess. It cost me everything and I'm still finding out lies (some over the most seemingly insignificant crap, she lied about everything) and people she cheated or stomach turning situations that she exposed my son to. I never realized how affected I was by her that it shaped how I see people and fed my mistrust of everyone which affects my relationship now. Too many people think of this as being a gender specific thing. I wish that would stop. It's people.

[@pommie5093]

Absolutely right-it can be males and females. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I hope you are doing well.

[@emmalestrangeart1331]

I see you, I hear you ♥ I wish I had this channel too, but now we do and it is such a great resource for understanding, healing and moving forward. I hope that you and your son are safe and happily living in love

[@megan_james]

❤❤

[@Psych2go]

That sounds like a very difficult relationship... How did you come to the decision to leave? How long did it take you to realize that the relationship was toxic before leaving?

[@oOneenOo]

@@emmalestrangeart1331 thank you ❤️. Honestly, I left her ten years ago and I'm only just within the past couple years coming to terms with it. Things are better now and my son is coming to his own conclusions about her and is making way more intelligent decisions than I did.

[@Bananakin501]

Thank you for making a video about this omg! I feel like everyone forgets how the joker and Harley's relationship wasnt just emotional abuse, but physical and psychological too. Or at least- they downplay how bad it truly was. TRIGGER WARNING: Harley not only lost her innocence, physical and mental health to him, he is also the reason for the loss of her dogs and eventual baby. She went through SO. DAMN. MUCH. And as someone who has been through similar experiences as her before, I cant stand when I see people (and DC themselves) call this a "toxic relationship" or "mad love". Its beyond serious abuse, call it what it is. We all still recall back to how the Joker had a traumatic past but he has lied and changed his story multiple times, even through the perspectives of different movies and series, Regardless of which is true, ITS IN THE PAST. His actions as a traumatised kid are understandable, his actions as a grown man are not. He is not only a literal psychopath, but a r@pist, child m*rderer and an animal abuser too. Yet we see more stories empathising with his life more than Harley (and when we do, its usually STILL romantacising or even sexualising said abuse. Let that sink in.) which is why Birds Of Prey and the Harley Quinn series are both absolutely groundbreaking for her character. Its good to see her healing now. its what she deserves.

[@christianpatriot75]

I don't remember her having a baby.

[@kairae6666]

I experienced this as a kid with my mother, who constantly manipulated and abused me but would also give me hugs and praise all the time. It got to the point where I was fourteen, she tried to kill me, and I justified it to my friends because "She apologised. She was having a breakdown, she didn't mean it." Looking back I can't believe that I didn't see anything wrong with it, but I was so desperate to have a good relationship with her. Both of us are in therapy and she's slowly improving, but I haven't forgiven her and I doubt that I ever will. I'm grateful that we can finally have a relationship, but she still took my childhood away from me. I've made it clear to her that if she hurts me again I will cut her off entirely. I've established that boundary, and I'm actually a lot healthier now.

[@Ben-yg2wj]

Could you guys make a video about obsessive para social relationships? There’s a lot of talk about certain AI programs being used by people to develop para social relationships that can end up really hurting someone’s well-being.

[@paratheus6970]

replying because im interested in this ^

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for the suggestion. If we were to make a video on this, what would you like to see us cover?

[@Ben-yg2wj]

@@Psych2go VTubers, Musicians/Celebrities, Ai, and Fictional Media Characters are all common subjects of many para social relationships, I’ll be interested to see how you all cover this, I love the content!

[@man_5i]

I would love to watch a video on this topic, but for me, the para social relationships aren't obsessive and I can say I'm really very happy, it's healthy for me. but ofc it can be unhealthy and hurting for other people, interested to know how it affects me as well as others. (i stan svt, a kpop grp)

[@rxy1486]

Oh wow, v interested in this

[@allanmartinez7535]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@allanmartinez7535]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?

[@allanmartinez7535]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@YouDontKnowMebro69]

Time is the only thing that can make you feel better. Just be patient and keep grinding it gets better

[@JoelDJohnson1986]

I do have a trauma bond, but it's with my two brothers, my mother and my aunt.

[@Psych2go]

How does the trauma bond work for you in non-romantic relationships?

[@JoelDJohnson1986]

@Psych2go See, it's not abusive at all but drama related. I've personally been through a lot of drama in my family relationships to the point where I've learned from those traumatic years and just try to be drama free in life. (Parents divorced, brothers getting in trouble, aunt sick, history of poor health...) So, I've learned from my therapist that I needed to establish my boundaries with my mind.

[@Morastbiene]

Looking at it from a perspective like this really makes you feel disgusted. Disgusted by the people whose love and approval you've sought, whom you gave access to you and what you've tolerated. I've been through this with a covert narcissist that I used to call my best friend, soulmate and emotional "situationship" that was based on coercion (his disrespect for my boundaries) and fear of abandonment. There was no space for physical violence, but because I made him "mad" he indirectly threatened me with it. I was usually the one who came back crying, apologizing, promising to "do better" because he gaslit and manipulated me so hard that I thought I was at fault for getting angry about how he treated me. That it was my fault that he withdrew and withheld kindness, time and attention from me instead of working things out and behaving like a decent human being. My partner compared it to being in a burning house. You can stay, but if you want to live and stop suffocating, you need to get out. The house will keep burning, with or without you.

[@morgoniliessa]

After two years of abusive relationship with a person with BPD I'd realised that there hadn't been anything worse than that. I'd realised that we hadn't been close in general, but desperately obsessive about one another. She needed extra attention and acceptance, I gave a lot but she treated me like shit instead. I felt like leaving and finally I made it. Thanks to Zeus I'm free now and in no danger anymore, no one is fighting with me, no one is wasting my life and no one is going to make it even worse. 🥺

[@bubbba7247]

I'm glad you're finally free and have peace in your life. I can't help but wonder though, did you know from the start that she had BPD? Did you suggest she get help or offer her an ultimatum: either she, -or better still, both of you- seek treatment and therapy or else? Is she now getting help? I can promise you, she doesn't love the way her BPD makes her feel or makes her treat her loved ones. Also, have YOU reached out for treatment, counseling, a diagnosis, etc? I know from experience what you went through, so please trust me when I tell you, you're still not as free or happy as you could be. Please find someone to talk to. And make sure she's doing the same, if only for the sake of the relationship you should have had

[@bryandranicole]

This video read me and past trauma bond of 7 years! It sucks that I waited until it was too late!! But on the bright side, I’m now free of him and putting more energy into myself and my children ❤

[@Maxtheidiot.]

Time stamps! Some things I’ll be using “~” main time stamp “+” stuff in the time stamp that’s kinda important or really important! ~ 0:00 Traumatic roots + 1:11 how a train bond is born (I think it’s still in the traumatic roots section?-) ~ 1:38 love me, then hate me + 2:08 maintenance of a trauma bond ~ 2:32 false beliefs and loyalties + 3:30 reminder (well kinda just telling you-) that you don’t deserve to be hurt like that and that escaping the abuse is possible + 4:11 “in the description box we linked some hotlines and resources you can visit to help you come up with an escape plan” ~ 4:25 plushie >:D Ily all and remember you deserve all the good that comes and came your way!

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for the time stamps and for the encouragement Max!

[@emmalestrangeart1331]

I love the simplicity in your explanations. It is quite remarkable how obvious it appears from the outside, but when you are in it, you just don't recognise the bad behaviour.

[@usagiroxie]

Literally told my abuser I didn't want to be trauma bonded to him. I went no contact, then slipped for a day, realised he was still playing victim, manipulating, and making excuses, and went no contact again the next day forever. Now I know he was a covert narcissist, but see subconsciously you know. This type of relationship doesn't feel good. Never again.

[@dharshansenthilkumar9492]

Can we be friends???😭

[@usagiroxie]

@@dharshansenthilkumar9492 I also told him he was a coward after he betrayed me out of nowhere. He didn't deny it. I told him so many things that were spot on and must have made him deeply uncomfortable. I often doubted myself just to realise that how I said things as they were, as they felt subconsciously to me were often true. However, trauma can make instinct malfunction in some situations, but it's different. Recovery is hard and not linear, but it's worth it. I'm never looking back. I hope all survivors can do the same. 💪

[@memoresto3480]

That was my relationship too….the hardest one I’ve had to let go

[@yanderefangirl8317]

My parents bonded over their childhood traumas, but in a non-toxic/abusive way. They actually try to help each other to work through their past traumas while going to therapy.

[@ALGARIC]

Hi, do they have PD?

[@perianth5310]

Hello, Psych2Go I was wondering if you could talk about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and how to cope with it. I have ADHD and I know my RSD is pushing people away, so it would mean so much if you talked about it! Thank you And amazing video ❤

[@wayneheidlebaugh9915]

It was just like that living with an abusive father, step mother and step sister. Their the reason I keep my guard up most of the time when it comes to dealing with people. I find it hard to establish a good relationship with someone.

[@Edlandish]

Thank you for these videos, seriously. Being able to put the label of trauma bond on what I'm going through just made everything fall into place. I guesss early on, I was afraid of being unable to find a partner in life, so I latched onto her, ignored many many red flags, became isolated from my family because 'they didn't treat me well', did things I didn't want to do, was once physically abused, and I sat on this for years and years before finally opening up to a friend about it, at which point I decided I could no longer ignore it. I tried to end things, but we just argued, a lot of blame was shovelled onto me, and she made herself out to be the victim. We started getting on better since then, we've been closer and more intimate, and I thought maybe it'd be okay, until I asked if my friend could come stay for a few nights, a simple request that I was so afraid to make, and it went somehow worse than I imagined. We own a house together, we've got cats together, and I feel that insane sense that I am responsible for her wellbeing, I'm so afraid because I've not known any different and I feel completely unable to break this bond. My brain keeps trying to convince me of all the reasons I should stay, try and make it work, but now I know this is 100% a trauma bond. I've got community support and friends willing to take me in, talking to my contact at the therapy services in 8 days, going to be brave and talk about it and see if we can come up with a plan. It absolutely breaks my heart, it's been over 10 years, and it's probably one of the hardest things I'll ever do. Talk to your friends about things. I'm amazed at how much support I've got and how much people are willing to open up about their own vulnerabilities once you've shared yours. Wish me luck friends ♥

[@dwaynebrice1697]

Sometimes I'm scared of watching these. It felt like learning about this stuff was used against me to feel like I was joker. I felt safe and now I don't know what safe means.

[@CowboybubPercussion]

I’ve seen a trama bond first hand, and it’s nasty!!! Their relationship went 20 years of abuse, I’m just glad I and my family got them out of that situation.

[@sfrm-6102]

I live with social anxiety and been struggling with a trauma bond for 4 years now. I broke up with him so many times but we would always find a way to get back together, either he reached out to me somehow with the promise of change or I would, after feeling overwhelming loneliness because of the fear of interacting with other people. We haven't seen each other in like 2 weeks now after he finally, for the first time, recognized we weren't compatible and shouldn't see each other anymore. I have the intention of getting therapy to help me get through this process because I don't want to throw away any more years feeling like complete shit. I'm honestly really scared, but I will give the best of me. Wish me luck!

[@casebycase_904]

Been there and done that. Got out unscathed without losing any limbs or money, but it took away so much of my time and mental health. The road to recovery is rough & body takes scores. I was also physically exhausted

[@rxy1486]

Wow this validated that i was in a trauma bond. Also gave me closure and answered some questions. Being in a trauma bond w my abuser always left me in a state of severe anguish .

[@kareno6904]

It sounds like my last relationship ! Two long , just to long too many nights in hospital !! Too many days hidden indoors. Away from the world , no one could n would believe the way my ex behaved .. not that person. I literally ran so fast n far away ! Akways run ❤❤❤

[@thecorrupted3217]

I am late to this but from what i am seeing, I am definitely trauma bonded to my mother and was bonded to trauma to my old ex. My mother would hurt me and would tell me how great she is for trying to help me and she loves me. This got worse over the years and i believed her. I trusted her the most. Sometimes i hate her but out of guilt and knowing she does love me i would always go back to her even if she was gonna hurt me. This kept going and on till i realized from my friends telling me this isnt normal behaviour. At that point i started to despise and slowly she stopped trying took me a few years but now she doesn't try anything.

[@qwertt968]

Love your videos ❤ ,now i know a lot more about my relationship with people around me, But it would be better if you make a whole video "how to deal with it". because i want to deal things by my self so i can be stronger if one day i have nobody by my side. And again , luv ur videos

[@GodHelpMe369]

At the beginning of last year (2023/February 13th), the man whom I revered as my best friend, abandoned and betrayed me. In an instant, just like that, out of the blue... He discarded and replaced me. I guess it wasn't real friendship. I'd like to say it must have been love... But really, it must have been a trauma bond. It's been over a year, and I'm still healing...

[@swiftedg]

Great material, great fusion or relatability!

[@mahmudsamimmaheeb3275]

Hey Psych2go, I was wondering if you could make a video about Night Depression and its effects or How Body Dysmorphia effects everyday life? I would really appreciate it. BTW, love your videos and keep up the good work :)

[@Psych2go]

Hey, thank you for the suggestion! If we were to make a video on night depression or body dysmorphia, what would you like the video to talk about? Could you tell us in more detail?

[@mahmudsamimmaheeb3275]

​@@Psych2go For Night Depression, I would like the video to talk about how it feels and the devastating effects it leaves during both night and day (mostly night) and If for Body Dysmorphia, I would like the video to talk about the situations in schools (like seeing other students as perfect and self-criticizing etc.) and the tendencies to do harmful changes to the body (like plastic surgery etc.) and Ofc how to deal with it or certain coping mechanisms. Thank You.

[@appleitree]

Appreciate the voiceover despite her being sick guys

[@alextg23]

I can say I experienced this. I've been in a friend-enemy cycle with someone that drove me crazy and started stuff that I couldn't have thought it would trigger, which led to even more insanity for me, especially as that certain triggered stuff developped. And due to how much I'm having to handle sometimes due to simply that cycle, together with other external stuff that I dislike and that triggered more chaos inside of me over time, chaos and external stuff that I also need to handle, I just can't take it anymore mentally.

[@eenaya9500]

Relatable, it is so draining

[@alextg23]

@@eenaya9500 it drained me entirely I can say

[@escapedmoonlightxoxo]

Thanks Psych2Go for this video! I love your channel! ❤

[@zoruauser]

I guess it's the tradeoff between being miserable and alone and being miserable, but somewhat loved. Loved in a very light, mean way. I think I see how this can tie into someone's ability to stay single. More contempt with being alone I imagine would decrease the odds of a trauma bond in the first place, at least that's what makes sense to me

[@oddlybored]

I just waneed to say thank u for the last cupileof videos because they realy help❤

[@maxielove1957]

I am currently trauma bonded to my abuser, and it's so hard being away from him, but everyone around me tells me its better this way. It's only been 3 weeks and I miss him so much

[@ALGARIC]

Hi, how’d it go? Was he physically violent ?

[@drgru2633]

stupid foid

[@maxielove1957]

@ALGARIC it's been 4.5 months now and it's hard being without him. But I'm surviving and working on myself.

[@maxielove1957]

@@ALGARIC yes he was violent

[@maxielove1957]

@drgru2633 what does this even mean?

[@bernardocornejo1803]

Amazing video!

[@Absolhunter251]

This was me during my several relationships with ex’s… it’s hard to get out. But thankfully the ex’s left me. I like this video perspective.

[@ItsOcyeanic]

I was waiting for this video....

[@aubreysnyder338]

The biggest thing I learned between 16 and 28 years old was REAL love doesn't hurt. Yes the people we love will hurt us and vice versa at some point. But not continuing to make the same mistakes and not doing it on purpose. I so wish I didn't spend my healthy years with losers and I myself was a loser for staying in the situations . after a 2-year long relationship, that was the most abusive and horrific one I've been in I got diagnosed with brain tumors. Then followed by three brain surgeries. The first surgery failed. the doctor continued to cut after I was profusely bleeding. Giving me an extreme chronic pain condition with no cure. #atypicaltrigeminalneuralgia I'm 30 now and the last 4 years of my life have been hell. The amount of physical pain I've been in every day is unbearable. If someone doesn't give you a definite yes take it as a no and leave. If someone continues to hurt you, emotionally or physically and says they won't do it again but they do, leave.

[@averycanicus6092]

Wow I have been on both sides of this one.The worst part is back then I really thought that what I was given was love and passed it on before I started trying to kill it off in me.

[@sizzlingyolk23]

hey psych2go !! i dont watch much of your videos because im pretty healed, but i wanted to ask something. you make all these videos helping others- but are YOU okay atm? i understand if you dont feel comfortable answering, but you are so helpful and caring !!

[@dee0731]

Great explanation of a trauma bond

[@lingo6293]

me and my bff have the most powerfull friendship, and yeah we are trauma bonded, she just gets me.

[@kurthanke5788]

Those are the bff's you want to wrap your arms around, and not let them go ❤️❤️❤️

[@dharshansenthilkumar9492]

Can I also be one of your friends😭

[@kurthanke5788]

@@dharshansenthilkumar9492 I know you're talking to lingo, but I'd be happy to be your friend as well, and I'd give you a long hug 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[@keiron.4612]

​@@dharshansenthilkumar9492hopefully not

[@doctors8966]

I'd love a friend like that

[@angelh1608]

Even after you leave, it’s hard to get them out of your system and heart.

[@buttercrunch6767]

(Verse) In the obscurity of a love gone wrong Where pain and kindness dance along He brings me gifts, he calls me his soul mate But deep inside, I'm consumed by the weight He takes me out, we paint the town red But worry lingers, filling my head I try to relax, to let my guard down But fear's grip tightens, it's hard to drown Some refer to this as love, they say But in my heart, doubts begin to sway I'm caught in a storm of mixed emotions Yearning for freedom, a new devotion (Chorus) Oh, I'm worried, I'm worried, can't you see? In this abusive love, I long to be free Though he treats me well, it's just a facade Behind closed doors, I'm left feeling flawed (Bridge) I search for strength to break these chains To rise above the hurt, release the pain For I deserve a love that's pure and true No more worries, just skies of blue (Chorus) Oh, I'm worried, I'm worried, can't you see? In this abusive love, I long to be free Though he treats me well, it's just a facade Behind closed doors, I'm left feeling flawed (Outro) But I won't let worry define my fate I'll find the courage to escape this state For in the darkness, a glimmer of hope shines through I'll break these chains and find a love that's true

[@michaeljlumpkinesquire]

It’s Amanda’s voice for me 😊

[@madhuchandapaul7272]

Thank you so much for this plz guys seek help before it's too late my truma bound leave me with extreme physical and mental abuse 😞traumas are real traumas are bad. Leave them before it's too late

[@blossomplays8828]

Damn, when i came across this video, I just realized I was in this type of relationship with my current ex. I'm glad we broke off.

[@niasiamack9333]

Interesting video love your videos

[@Ann_Mellow09]

I love this thanks

[@add5922]

Thank you

[@Junk_Draw3r]

So happy I got out of my trauma bonded relationship.

[@conniehankosky5750]

The day I escaped a trauma bond, it felt like I was in heaven. I could finally see and breath again. I finally felt real

[@Sila_Elizabeth2468]

New video, yey ❤😮

[@jerinrinee4731]

My sister have trauma bond relationship with our mother. She is 32 and I am 34. my mother raised keeping us in isolation. Whenever we tried get any relationship from outside world. She either tell wrong things about us to them or to us about them. We never received drop of love from her since our childhood. I always walk in fear coz she get always angry on all things. Beat us or use the words which drain our whatever left little confident. Even though I left home 10 yrs ago. Still she chases me. Calling to my friends and relatives tell them that I am unruly person. She using mother card which is powerful in India. As result we are still unmarried. We are not even able to have friends peacefully.

[@MS-ns4ki]

This is very relatable almost just too strange .

[@judygraessle7358]

I had a trauma bond with both of my spouses. They are deceased due to drugs and alcohol. God saved me twice. Now, I have stayed single for almost five years since my second spouse died. Almost five years into my first marriage, he died from drinks and driving. Then, after twenty-six years of marriage to my second spouse, he died as from disease. Don't wait as long as I did, to be free from trauma bond relationships.

[@savannablankenship2427]

Holy shrink, a fellow Batman fan! Maybe you can explain more mental things through Batman characters. Like using Riddler to explain narcissism or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

[@jackmanningfan1]

I just got out of one. Ironically enough, I still miss him but I know if I ever go back to him the abuse that was mostly mental could turn physical and he could kill me.

[@JessiBrat]

I'm in a trauma bond. My loved ones don't understand how I can love and stay with my girlfriend, who abuses me. I didn't understand it either, as I know better, but I'm addicted and have grown obsessed with her. I'm scared of her, but I can't stay away. I wish I didn't love her.

[@michaelbradley5603]

Thanks

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for your extra support in our work and mission!

[@angelalynn1979]

One of my parents is in a trauma bond with everyone, including her children. I don’t know how to have other types of relationships. 😪

[@NatalieAliciaRavenfire]

As much as I admit to have liked the connection between Harley Quinn and Joker, I more or less preferred her with Poison Ivy or anyone who wouldn't treat Harley as if she was being made fun of for her love for someone because the Joker was nothing but madness and uncertainty. And yes, being in a toxic relationship is not a good thing, especially when it comes to the possibility of getting hurt by your partner.

[@cjbakaluk]

I don't think its fair to assume its only physical harm one might get from a trauma bond. The emotional and mental devastation has been far worse in my opinion, eventually leading to physical harm. And the worst part is, being male hasn't helped one bit. Because "she's a Saint and so nice to everyone, wouldn't ever do THAT to you, stop your whining, be a man" 😩exhausting

[@aquablast3155]

Googling the term... "A trauma bond is when a person forms a deep emotional attachment with someone that causes them harm. It often develops from a repeated cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement." I was worried that it might be something I've done... since I did bond with people who were victims of someone else... but good to know that's not it. lol

[@ElizabethMuellerNovelist]

Often victims turn out to be abusers if they don’t get the proper help needed. Please take care!

[@aquablast3155]

@@ElizabethMuellerNovelist Thanks for the concern!

[@valentina6429]

Does this also work between mother-daughter and viceversa?

[@ALGARIC]

Yes

[@ajscout594]

Psych2Go, can you put the time stamps in the description?

[@frankenstein93]

Finally i am free thank you god thank you guardian angels thank you universe 🌸🙏📿 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜️🦋

[@galletgaming]

I think I’ve heard of this before, but can’t they be from through trauma experienced as a group. Example, there’s a dormitory that has the new group of people sleep all in the lobby for the first week(at least that’s what a remember from what he said).

[@jacksparow3857]

It's good I had doubts of the meaning of trauma-bonding. But is there a term for when 2 people share the same type of trauma?

[@Sonyuser-fu2rh]

I keep screaming and hitting everything in my path i just hide my troubles from anyone and got nobody to express my self and I’m just 13!!

[@kalashmakhija9579]

I was in this relationship with my ex. He would say so much bad, hurt me so badly, wound me with his words for hours and then say sorry, get me my favorite chocolate. I was 16, I am 16. I feel so stupid, but I can say I’m proud to leave, I had support of parents and friends. Now I think of it, it happened 3 months ago only, yet seems like forever. I have recovered and understood one major thing. “You don’t always have to go through pain in order to find happiness. It’s not worth it”

[@ltl9009]

4 years and 7 months, all up in smoke. What we had wasn't perfect, but it was real. I'd help her out buying dog food and groceries every so often - causing my funds to dip below maintenance at least once - only to throw a tantrum and throw everything away the one time I literally had nothing on me.

[@lotussong1]

No one should ever tolerate abuse in any relationship. Whether it’s physical, verbal, or worse both, you have to find a way to leave this manipulative person. Otherwise, you may end up with serious health problems or even dead. Especially if the abuser has threatened to kill you. Not speaking about myself, but someone very close to me. Oftentimes, the best decision you can make is to leave that toxic situation.

[@csg_moves3658]

Can you do a video for having a Trauma Bond with a parent/family member.

[@rodeltorejas4551]

can u make a video about insomnia like how it happens or why? ty :>

[@deebasarker9506]

Can you make a video on pda(pathological demand avoidance), I can not find a well demonstrated video about it.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

As Bruce Wayne puts it: "He was a psychopath... a monster."

[@SweetWitchNerd]

I did NOT know this was what trauma bonding was, I thought it was when two people developed a friendship (or something more) based around their shared traumas and where they both helped each other live through it and get better, do we have a name for that or is that just friendship? Also, obligatory HARLEY AND JOKER ARE NOT RELATIONSHIP GOALS observation

[@PBnJ.]

Idk it’s been a while since I left them but it still hurts anytime I think of them. I have random outbursts where I’m just bawling my eyes out even though I tried so hard to leave and move on in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if would’ve been better just to stay in the truama bond.

[@ALGARIC]

Was he physically violent to you?

[@uifwastaken]

No matter the bond, every one's abandoning me as soon as they don't need me for their health anymore😢

[@gamechannelminecraft6583]

"Congrats to everyone Who is early and who found this comment 🐼

[@allgamer3679]

Nice

[@uzi1476]

Cool

[@ProductiveMrduckGaming-]

Hi

[@vinny-is-here]

23 minutes ago here

[@vinny-is-here]

23 minutes ago here

[@user-kt8vn6ip2w]

Is it possible to have a 'trauma bond' with someone who is not the abuser but a person who was (not involved, not a witness, didn't know) around and/or with whom you'd interact during times when you were abused? Or, would that bond be something different? Would it be genuine, or falsely intensified due to your heightened emotional state at the time? Are there any good resources about this?

[@himasan2941]

Can you make video about how to stop abuse others, i’ve tried finding them article but can’t gather enough😢

[@sincerelysophiak]

more videos w/ trauma bonds

[@CanIGoNow749]

I cannot stand being trauma bonded to somebody I don't know and don't like and cannot see.

[@helsphoenix2623]

Harley was never innocent. She abused and manipulated the Joker too...people often forget that part. As soon as that shared fantasy was broken, that illusion of a happy family with him and the asylum inmates, she would whoop the snot out of him while he cowered in fear. She became his doctor to write a book about him and get famous. Hardly an idealistic motive.

[@AziOrMin]

Im prolly in that rn

[@HWORD-xg6hi]

those resources for assistance aren't in description.

[@princesaamyii]

I do have a trauma bond with my narcissistic ex a severe trauma bond

[@amayatsuki5673]

My ex was abusive toward me back in 2018 and I am so glad some friends got my back and encouraged me to tun this idiot down! Best decision ever!

[@muppetfan77show26]

I love this story I'm a Batman fan 🤩👍

[@majsing_xd1032]

just found this channel but how does this channel ahve 11 mil subs and barely 50k views on all of their recent videos