6 Signs of Trauma Bonding

[@Psych2go]

If you could reverse time, where would you go back to and why?

[@0Iive]

You should do a video on D.I.D (Dissociative identity disorder) It’s very interesting but there is also a lot of misinformation out there :)

[@cass1099]

When I was 2. I lived with both my parents and they were happy.

[@AktivnaPropaganda]

I'd go back to when I was 6. I'd stop myself from meeting my childhood friend who I blame for all of my current problems :')

[@jaydenstudios7585]

Before I was born and convince my mom not to have me XD

[@idkanymore2710]

I would go back to last year, and tell myself not to do what ended up the worst choice of my life.

[@ICEcoldJT]

“If trauma can be passed down from generation to generation, so can your healing.” 🙏🏽

[@Smallerbrandon]

Amen M8

[@low8739]

My family trauma ends with me. I have no children and will not pass it on. For that, I am so thankful!

[@ladyzinada5341]

🥰🤗

[@kingdomliving8417]

SAY IT 💖💖😊💌

[@syahirahabdullah3210]

Thank you! ❤❤❤

[@GodHelpMe369]

Concise summary of 8 signs of a trauma bond - 1. They are outwardly charming. 2. They are emotionally unpredictable/unavailable. 3. They take their problems out on you. 4. They isolate you from other loved ones. 5. You minimize the consequences of their behavior on you. 6. You constantly make excuses for them. 7. You are becoming more emotionally detached/numb. 8. You are hiding aspects of your relationship with others. You know something is wrong.

[@juliebrammer]

Yes. 💔

[@hilito2452]

The thing that people dont tell you, is that sometimes getting over a toxic relationship is as hard as being in one

[@beatlesiracundos]

The last part on familiarity is big. The longer the relationship the stronger the familiarity bond

[@travisdeckard2743]

I hope it got easier for you.

[@donnagriffis4871]

I have to brake away soon… it’s going to suck.. I agree it feels like it will be hard to do 🥹 wish I had a friend around to help support

[@Rizkbill]

Going away seems harder then just staying. It is just so toxic, I see it clearly but still keep feeding my narcissist supply even though I get nothing but heart ache in return.

[@keniu4655]

@@Rizkbill I’m so sorry bill! It really is so unfair, but you owe it to yourself to be happy. Happiness is the best revenge. Stay strong ❤️

[@ajbailey5943]

*"why don't you just leave?!"* "...I don't know..."

[@maudriedepradine4003]

I felt this

[@desertangelfish140]

When you leave you get sucked back in

[@keenanslittlesister4604]

Then when you do they turn it against you that you never loved them then get sucked back in 😔😞

[@GangstalkingReality]

Because you’re addicted. You’re not in love you’re just addicted . It’s in the brain

[@Ezequiel55vf]

Its the fear.. and abandoning your true self

[@j__s.u]

I’m so glad there’s actually a name for this. It makes me feel like what I feel/felt wasn’t just me overthinking.

[@saraou5332]

You re not alone

[@derekjones2960]

i i

[@BognaZone]

This gives some insight on why people stay in abusive relationships, or leave one only to enter another abusive relationship.

[@slr6196]

99

[@playdough691]

Ah the patterns.

[@samanthagutierrez901]

This WAS me, but i left him. I left a whole 'fiance' too after 7 years dating/engaged... It doesn't matter when the fog clears- all that matters is it does.

[@MacshaddyMarie]

Where did you go when you left? What did you do with all of your things?

[@carolynj6144]

I also left a fiancé…we were about to hit 3 years of dating. I am still healing, but I’m relieved.

[@Falconifan]

Yes!

[@sbaby4572]

Needed this . Proud of you for that .

[@TheSaneHatter]

"The name is Bond . . . TRAUMA Bond."

[@nunya6721]

😁😄

[@Rockstar-kw7bz]

Hahahaha omg hilarious 😆

[@letsreadtextbook1687]

Damn 😂

[@Aquariuswonder86]

Lmao 🤣

[@scarlettthabede5257]

Wow 😂

[@CAFSNakamuraRyuuji]

Well, I used to be in a romantic relationship like this that was so destructive it left me with trauma and left multiple mental scars. But... When you realize your situation, and actively try to heal, it's possible to get out of it and to break the cycle. Stay strong.

[@armelle254]

I was in this kind of relationship as well! (and I wasn't able to see it until the very end of it). Hope you're doing okay and sending you love 💟

[@anna-mariadickmann7032]

Same here... maybe I’d still be with him if I never met my current boyfriend. He kinda saved me. He had a crush on me for 1,5 years and never gave up on me. He’s the best guy I’ve ever met❤️

[@armelle254]

@@anna-mariadickmann7032 aww that's sooo sweet ❤️

[@CAFSNakamuraRyuuji]

@@armelle254 I'm doing much better, I got out of it a long time ago, thank you ^^ I also didn't realize until near the end of the relationship, it was so chaotic and destructive But I learned a lot from and since that, so now I'm in a better place No one deserves to be treated badly like this, and I hope you're doing much better too ^^

[@CAFSNakamuraRyuuji]

@@anna-mariadickmann7032 I'm glad to hear that you've escaped the toxic environment you were in and found someone who you can be happy with I'm happy for you both ^^

[@MrGreeneyedcat]

You still give them another chance. Until you don't, that's where the dynamics change.

[@radicalexplorer3665]

❤️

[@GangstalkingReality]

Because they will never change and at some point you realize that

[@GoingSwimmingly]

Honestly, this is painfully familiar... Not everyone changes, not everyone is bad on purpose either.

[@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier]

Exactly. I feel like the narc here though...

[@GoingSwimmingly]

@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier Well, the fact that you can see that is a huge step forwards, since it’s often the first step to solving an issue. You don’t have to listen to me but that’s my take on it

[@joanofarc1470]

@@S.M.Jean-Mahmoud_Ier if you are feeling that way then you must likely are not. They don’t have introspection

[@playdough691]

@@joanofarc1470 Very true!

[@ysmithriley]

@Mystiqal It doesn't matter if it's not on purpose. ABUSE is ABUSE!

[@specialtwice4975]

Also, a lot of people wonder "why don't you just leave?" Well, it's more complicated than that. 1.) You love them. Despite their abuse, you love them wholeheartedly. You care about them deeply. If it is a romantic relationship, the feelings are real, and much stronger. To be in a tramabond is more powerful than a regular relationship. It is addicting as well, like a drug. They make you happy. You just want them happy. 2.) You don't want to abandon them. You put in soooo much effort. Sometimes even YEARS into your relationship and have spent many days and nights together which are not all bad. A trauma bond is about 75% good, 25% bad. Cooking hot dogs when camping, kissing in the rain, going bicycle riding, taking a trip to Disneyland, going to Paris and seeing the Effel tower under a romantic sky, watching a sunset, talking about kids and growing old, etc, etc. 3.) They promise to change/do better. When you get into an argument you shout "I've had enough!" and slam the door. The next day you wake up to them sitting outside on your front porch waiting for you with a bouquet of flowers. "Baby, please forgive me. I don't wanna fight anymore. I miss you. I need you." 4.) You have hope they will change. You still believe they are the person you first met a year ago. 75% of the world population doesn't even know what a narcissist is. You don't know they are like this permanently, the hitting, the throwing, the name calling, catcalling other women in front of you, arguing with you in the middle of a downtown square, touching you inappropriately at a family get together right in front of your parents. You believe this is just a "joke", they are in a mood, a phase. That the woman they are talking to is just a friend, and that soon things will be back to "normal" again. You brush it off, and as time goes by you forget. "Just get over it baby. She kissed ME last year, and it didn't mean anything. I love YOU." So you forgive, you forget. You live in the moment. 5.) You miss them. You try to leave and it is almost impossible but when you do you think to yourself "finally, I'm free! :D" You rush out of the mansion and into the woods, adrenaline, courage and excitement filling you up. After an hour or so, you get lost. "Hello? Hello??" You don't know where to go or which way to turn. Suddenly you want no more than to be by their side. You want to go HOME. You miss them deeply. You regret running away. Tears burst from your eyes. 💔 Where are they now? What are they doing? Every love song you've ever heard comes into your mind. Justin Bieber's "where are you now that I need you?" Taylor swift's "I don't wanna live forever" You love them. You LOVE THEM. You wanna tell them. You need to. You rush back to the mansion like belle from beauty in the beast. "Oh, please don't let it be too late. Please forgive me." you say like a prayer. You rush in and there they are staring at the fire in the grand room, sitting in their favorite chair, nursing a sprite. You both look up at the same moment and stare at each other for a long while, taking the other in. Then you rush into their arms, and you are HOME. "I'm sorry!" you say. "I'm sorry. I will never leave you again."

[@fadeline]

Wow this is very detailed

[@lindsay4938]

Very true

[@ju999X]

Wow

[@trynatural23]

My life…minus the sprite 🙄😩

[@ALex-yv8xw]

Yeah my Wife did this to me .....is it called dog calling when the Women does this ?

[@auburnh5874]

I was in a trauma bond with my ex... I’m now stuck raising a child alone because I let the cycle of abuse go on until they found someone they knew they could control easier. If anyone relates to anything on this list please don’t do the same thing I did. They will leave you the second you start to get better emotionally because you will no longer be an easy victim.

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

This is also a big component of cults. Stay Strong.

[@jessicamontoya3281]

Wait can you explain this more

[@BadmintonBombshell]

I ended a relationship with a narcissist nearly 4 years ago. I didn't realize he was a narcissist when we were together and I am just learning about trauma bonding. I'm now understanding why it was so difficult to leave him and why recovery took so long.

[@jameshart9766]

Wow, this video actually really opened my eyes, turns out I was the abuser in my previous relationship through trauma bonding. Thank you so much Psych2Go, thank you for teaching me how to be a better person and recognise these patterns.

[@bunille]

I have a narcissistic father, so it has gotten me into narcissistic relationships through my teen and adult years. It's a horrible relationship that I keep on coming back to because it's the only place I feel welcome.

[@ServantStatusMinistries]

Do as I did and start making personal boundaries and showing and running your body love by taking care of yourself health and hobbies. This helps you value yourself and the more time you spend taking care of yourself the more you love and appreciate yourself and the less likely you are to let others manipulate you and hurt you

[@Psykitty96]

I know where youre coming from...i never felt like i got the emotional support from my own narcissistic father and because of that, i got into some pretty destructive relationships that im now trying to heal from

[@Marie-ox6ce]

I’m in the same situation

[@Marie-ox6ce]

I question myself why I feel so welcome by him even though I know he is a narcissist and is abusing me. On the other hand he is the only human where I feel safe so it’s hard for me to leave. And in one hand he’s the only one where I feel truly happy but on the other hand there is the abuse and I doesn’t feel safe at all. It makes no sense...

[@juliebrammer]

Get out❤ get help❤ get therapy❤

[@blu4386]

These videos have helped me realize I've been in an abusive relationship for almost 18 years...with my mother, actually. It hit me hard when I finally realized but now that I know, I will do my best to step out of it because although its hard and painful it's the best for my mental health. I deserve better.

[@snowqueen24]

I'm going through the same thing with my mom when it comes to having a trauma bond with her. It's a party killer.😞😓

[@jennifersimonian2103]

If u don't mind can you dm me or something...I have fb, IG, etc. U can get me multiple ways by just searching my name.

[@g.d.v9756]

Same, I feel it be easier if i didn't care as much but it isn't me sadly 😔

[@juliebrammer]

I can relate ❤

[@imanhafizal]

the scary thing is that I searched up how to deal with trauma about 2 hours ago before this was posted

[@JustRaven00]

“6 signs of trauma bonding “ Every plot of every Disney movie

[@JustRaven00]

In a different way, it’s not related to this video, but the way that something tragic happens to the main character and you feel attached to them.

[@generalhorse493]

Yeah, it's really sad seeing LeFou keep being abused by Gaston despite his loyalty and initiative.

[@seedofisrael1356]

Yeah because Amerikkka breeds narcissist

[@danni3771]

Watched this while my boyfriend is away for work for the week, and realized I resonated COMPLETELY with 3/6 of these signs. I can’t stop crying. This made me realize everything.

[@elizabethwoolston]

I've struggled for years to describe my relationship with my ex and why or how it was so bad; this video just laid it all out. This was what our relationship was like 100%.

[@poocumber7806]

I’m trauma bonded by number 2 and 3 and 4, I feel so disappointed in myself and cannot get over the rumination’s, I wouldn’t wish this on my enemy. This resinates with me so much, thank goodness for content creators like psych2go 🙌🏻

[@markasialeblanc1459]

Just left a narcissistic I literally had a trauma bond with and the first time I’ve realized why I stayed so long is today by watching this video. Never realized I had a trauma bond, leaving and then watching this video made it clear as day I did. Thanks for the great video breaking it down very clearly.

[@bendystopfan4068]

wow..... never new until now that my "Best Friend" had me caught in a trauma bond..... though it was in elementary school so no one really pointed out that it was a toxic relationship or probably just didn't know at all, and i never knew it was a toxic relationship in the first place until i saw them outright bullying one of my other friend to the point they were sobbing. That's when i found out that they were using me to take all the friends that *I* made.... i still cant get them off my mind to this day and its been a good long while since i managed to get away from that person

[@emmathevlogger]

Omg this is the exact thing that my “best freind” did to me thanks for sharing j know how u feel

[@littlesongbird1]

My younger sibling went through that. I think it's hard because as kids sometimes we are taught to be kind to those that have no friends because they need it most. As a teacher, I saw a sweet boy who was friends with another boy who was a bully and even showed cruelty to the sweet boy who was essentially his only friend. I explained to that little boy that "Your friend is not acting like a friend and he needs to learn how to be a friend so until he does, you should play with other children and be their friend instead."

[@not-a-ghost2206]

@@littlesongbird1 good calling! Maybe this changed something but he will (edit: definately) remember you in ten years. I know i remember the school Kids who said "they are not good for you, dont you see?", also my grandmother who called her a rose, growing on destruction 😄 But if he is in a trauma bond, this probably would have just showed him how everyone is so unfair to the bully, after all he is there for him. At least thats what i thought.

[@tk13edm]

Me with one of my good friends of about 6-7 years

[@NinjaOutfitInTheWash]

@@littlesongbird1 this exact situation happened to me too but it was a girl and not a boy. I was her only friend, because of how terrible and arrogant she was to everyone. I just felt like I had to be ‘nice’ because that’s what I had been taught. That to be good you have to put other peoples emotions over your own to the point where you’re taking actual abuse, thinking you’re the one the problem is with. As you said as a child you don’t understand that if you’ve grown up in a certain way. It’s so unnecessary and painful to go through something like that as a kid, years of my life was spent in constant anxiety about the situation, but not feeling able to leave it because I felt I had to be nice. I honestly feared her. I’m glad you as a teacher recognized the situation. None of the adults in my life did, and I wish somebody would have. It would have spared me a lot of grief and just completely unnecessary pain. I honestly think my life would have been different if only one adult in my life had looked out for me.

[@lynneven2009]

I am realizing so many things. I may have been in toxic trauma bonds my whole life! Once you see it you can’t “unsee” it 😳

[@Bella-Luna777]

🤯🤯 same!

[@ShogoMakishimaxx]

Right. Its sad tbh.

[@rainyowlstar]

for so long after being in a relationship like this, i thought i was going crazy. that we loved eachother in a way ' other people don't understand '. this video basically describes how that relationship was. it hasn't even been a month since i last spoke to her, but i want to keep my strength to never go back. we were in a horrible loop for years and im only 20. i thought it was normal.

[@beforeigo4284]

Trauma bonds with a parent has been unbelievably debilitating. Thank god for reparenting techniques, and the compassion of others to be patient with me while I learn how to relate to others..

[@buttercrunch6767]

(Verse 1) In the veil of a broken heart, A twisted dance, a toxic art. Trauma bonds, they hold me tight, A twisted loyalty, a blinding light. I rationalize, I defend the pain, As I'm trapped in this twisted game. Thoughts entangled, emotions torn, A bond so strong, I can't be reborn. (Chorus) Oh, the depths of this trauma bonding, A twisted love that keeps me longing. But I'll break these chains, find my way, No longer a victim, I'll seize the day. (Verse 2) In the depths of this twisted connection, I find solace in this warped affection. Defending actions that hurt my soul, A cycle of abuse I can't control. But deep within, a flicker of doubt, Whispering, "Break free, find your way out." Thoughtful reflection, a glimmer of truth, I'll reclaim my strength, rewrite my youth. (Chorus) Oh, the depths of this trauma bonding, A twisted love that keeps me longing. But I'll break these chains, find my way, No longer a victim, I'll seize the day. (Bridge) No more defending, no more lies, I'll break free, reach for the skies. Thoughtful healing, I'll find my worth, No longer bound to this painful curse. (Chorus) Oh, the depths of this trauma bonding, A twisted love that keeps me longing. But I'll break these chains, find my way, No longer a victim, I'll seize the day. (Outro) With thoughtful strength, I'll break these ties, No longer blinded by the abuser's lies. Trauma bonding, I'll leave behind, Embracing freedom, a new life I'll find.

[@karthikvijay5678]

I’ve noticed I have been more emotionally abused, when I moved out and came to uni I started to understand a healthy relationship with friends and/or family is one that does not have control over the other person. I believed there had to be some control because it was this trauma bond I had growing up. Learning to heal, show self love and not repeat these patterns for my life 🙏

[@KimsLantern]

People who haven’t been in abusive relationships don’t understand that anything can become an addiction, even a relationship with someone. That’s why most people find it so hard to leave- because they’re addicted to the person and the relationship.

[@vl2663]

Yes exactly. Feels like an addiction. I still constantly check up on my old close friends on social media even though some of them don’t give a single shit about me and others would be happy to see me suffer.

[@mediocrebanters]

Combine this with the difficult relationship with toxic siblings...

[@OnyxAgainstTheWorld]

Omg... My ex. That was sooo awful. I did everything in my power to keep them happy, but it was never enough. It was like walking on eggshells! And the sick twisted part is, I still kind of miss them. Because it wasn't all bad. But I have to keep reminding myself that it was an unhealthy relationship.

[@this_is_nagi]

I was trauma bonded for eight years ... until he decided to replace me ... this video was very validating, thank you

[@Thomas-pq4ys]

That describes a near 20 year relationship that should've only lasted 5. I still miss her after 10 years, but realize she played me, knew how to prey on my insecurities being raised by a narcissist, to her advantage... What I miss was her "rewards" for me being a good boy, or setting me up for a monumental task. They sure were nice... but I now see it as manipulation... plain and simple... She also had me emotionally addicted... and leaving her was one of the scariest things I've done... she knew how to punish me with words, criticism, shaming, scolding. No more.

[@strm7960]

It's been a little over a year since I've starting watching this channel, when I first found your channel I was in an abusive relationship but I was to blind to see it, your videos helped me realize that I was being treated wrong.

[@christinajane1980]

I'm stuck in this right now. It's came to the point that I've lost myself completely. I'm going through a breakdown, burnout , numb, all at once. I'm so hurt and can't seem to take a step at all towards anything.

[@seonghwasbae2771]

me neither rn.

[@fantasticmrfox7497]

I am a true believer that a relationship that leaves me anxious, either through fear of broken promises or through negatively impacting my physical or mental health is abusive. The problem is the head says one thing and the heart says something else. Always believe your head, it will never lead you astray if you are honest with yourself. Get some counselling, start rebuilding your support network (there might have been bridges burnt along the way) and make a quiet exit with no contact whatsoever afterwards. Rebuild your happiness and brilliant future one step at a time. This journey may seem long but when you look back later on, you will realise how lucky you were to escape a monster.

[@juliebrammer]

Do you feel better now? ❤ You can do it! Break free! Take care of yourself!

[@prenudzsims8041]

I've been trauma bonded to my Husband for years now, I didn't even know what it was until this video... wow it described my situation to a T

[@drasiella]

Listening to this I recognize this is how my ex probably felt with me. Walking on eggshells, addiction to each other, abuse from my side...

[@ladyzelda4323]

Why did you abuse them…

[@roxannejuneau6915]

@@ladyzelda4323 sometimes people don't realize it because they have mental health problems

[@thecinnabun]

I clicked on this video and I was like: *wtf is truama bonding!?*

[@aeona2625]

same and then it related 👥👄

[@AlwaysHaveFaith07]

Oof glad I wasn’t the only one

[@thecinnabun]

@@aeona2625 same hahs

[@rustyfoxesbot7926]

yep. I went from 'wtf is that' to 'omfg i sort of have a trauma bond with my bff' (relate to 1 and 3. i now mostly believe that she needs to stop relying on me to solve her anxiety and just get a therapist already. trying to prompt and convince her)

[@lv4230]

@@rustyfoxesbot7926 wish you the best, you're position can def be a troubling one for yourself. Lots of pressure.

[@Rizkbill]

Part of my healing process was to believe and understand that Life is a Journey and somethings do not work out the way we would have liked them to. But it's the lessons learned along the way and the different experiences that we endure that helps shape our wisdom and understanding that everything happens for a reason. The main thing is we have to take care of our own sanity, self worth and appreciate life's lessons no matter how hard they may be. Stay strong and positive you will get through this.

[@johnrogers2827]

Relationships like this can take everything away from you.

[@heatheradams8946]

That's the exact last words I said to my husband. "You've taken everything away from me ".

[@GodHelpMe369]

Remember ALWAYS this process is all about YOU!!! Not him. He is just a catalyst. Consider, he may be your twin flame. Look into that. After initiating your trauma, you're now left to heal all that comes up. Major advice!!! Listen closely!!! NEVER CHASE HIM. He will run further and you will lose yourself more. You are the feminine. You just, be and approve who comes along. It's a yes: you meet my requirements, or: no you do not. Be clear on what you're accepting as a partner and DO NOT settle for less (or you just delay what's meant for you, in the pipeline). Accept your struggle, anxiety, fear, sadness. Whatever comes up. It's all human, and in need of your attention. If you push it away, block it, or run from it... You will just have to deal with it later...

[@brrmbrrmm]

*The more you know.* I never knew this was even a thing. Thank you so much Psych2go! You're helping me learn bout' new stuff all the time.

[@michellebaldwin257]

It's too late for me now but I wish for happiness and peace for y’all 😊

[@ellaroney8340]

I experienced every one of these with my former best friend and it was really hard to leave. It took me 1-2 years to finally get the courage to end it and even though I know the pain that she caused me and I haven't seen her in almost a year, I still miss her every day.

[@AppleBottomJ]

I have a friend who I know I should leave. I love him.. maybe it’s just a trauma bond. I feel like I will always remember him forever and ever. It’s hard to not be without him. How are you now?

[@tropicalcat6952]

This sounds like my ex best friend from about a year ago... I’m glad I finally left even though it hurt

[@gfhdsj8885]

Same, except mine wasn't my best friend, just a friend that I had met about 6 months from that time. I realized that it'd probably be worse later on so I just stopped talking to her gradually, never confronted her about anything tho :/

[@bewiahfbei]

I’m going through this with a friend right now. I used to get bullied and she was the only one nice to me, until she started bullying me. I forgave her every single time, I would always ask her to meet up during break times and she’d say yes but never show up. But we got along really well apart from that. She would constantly spread rumours, bully me, make fun of me and ignore me but I kept coming back to her every time. I moved schools and she reached out to me. But one day she ghosted me and whenever I tried requesting her on social media, she’d ignore it. I know it’s a toxic and one sided relationship but I feel a strong connection to her that I just can’t seem to give up, i hate it.

[@Marie-ox6ce]

I feel u :(

[@vl2663]

How are you doing now? I completely relate to your situation. I’m trauma bonded to my childhood best friend whom I stopped being friends with in the fucking late 2000’s lmao. Like we’re in 2022 and I’m still out here wanting to be friends with this hoe despite all the shitty things she did to me. A lot of the things she did literally sound like what you just typed. My friend would one day be nice to me, and then next pretend i don’t exist. We stopped being friends when she moved after her parents divorced in the late 2000’s. We ended up speaking again in 2012 for a little bit and then the next time she would speak to me was back in September of last year. She came to visit her dad who lives across the street and she saw me and shouted hi to me. I said hi back but I didn’t try to make conversation with her. I didn’t wanna let her think I was even so much as yearning to talk to her again. I did friend request her on Facebook a month later. But she ignored it. It hurt so fucking badly to realize she hadn’t changed. She was still the same bitch she was to me when we were kids. And that’s why I’m here. Well I’m actually trauma bonded to her and other close friends I had from the past who also treated me pretty badly

[@taylorbibs8223]

Don’t let this seep into your life after high school. It’s so easy but it isn’t easy to get out:(

[@Sara2016a]

Find other friends. I dumped two of my best friends and never looked back. It’s been a long time and after 20 years they try to contact me but nope! I don’t want to see them ever. You’ll be better with good people who appreciate your friendship, and don’t ever stay with bullies. They are evil. Good luck 🍀

[@babycakes8434]

She is your frenemy, or even enemy. Find new people to have as friends, you don't need her. Also look probably into codependency. I am just learning about all of it. I guess it is never too late. Don't beat yourself up, find yourself new hobbies and stuff to do solo so you keep yourself busy. Block her on all media and stay away even if you want to reach out. Best of luck.

[@specialtwice4975]

My signs: -walking on eggshells -being called names (stupid, boring, lame, etc) -wanting to leave but they beg you to stay -trying to leave but you feel guilty about it -being called "sensitive" or "jealous" -feeling like you are playing detective around them -feeling good one day but a week later they treat you horribly -constant on/off, push and pull -they do many "jokes" (like spraying you with a hose in surprise, or yanking your hair) which are not funny Best book for healing a tramabond: -Psychopath free and whole again by Jackson Mackenzie ^^***these ones are gold -sociopath next door by Martha stout

[@natiepou]

I just left mine a while ago! I now feel so much better!

[@noxianey]

I kinda feel like that towards the people around my, mostly my friends. I'm kinda afraid of being a failure and being treated bad because of it. And I've been betrayed in the past...

[@AroaceChicken]

Me: relates to this My mind: time to add this to the list of reasons why I need someone to talk to but will ignore since I almost never see the only friend that I trust enough to tell and when I do see her we’re in a big group of people

[@CaraDoesThings]

Do yourself a real one and get a therapist.

[@Yazzybear_luv]

i'm looking to leave my trauma bond so i had to watch this video and honestly nothing is more true than what this video explained

[@cluelesstrainer]

When I first start a relationship with someone these are feelings I get. The person doesn't necessarily exhibit abuse but I still get these feelings of excessive attachment.

[@saharaofthedeep]

Great video. Something I learned recently is that abuse does not have to be present for there to be trauma or a trauma bond, and you can also form a trauma bond to an entity, group of people, platform, or corporation.

[@lisaschmidtchen2976]

Well, I just realized my past relationship was a trauma bond. It is disturbing to recognize all of these signs in it. I feel betrayed and confused and ashamed because of that and how I wasn't able to acknowledge the abusiveness of this relationship... because it wasn't always like that. The interisting thing is though, that in the end he was the one ending the relationship... multiple times because I gave him yet another and another and another chance... and I always thought I was the abusive one and he therefore broke it off with me. Although I may have been abusive in some ways, I was trying so hard to change this behaviour after he "gave me another chance" (and another and another). Just now, after he broke up with me the forth time recently... I notice that he actually was emotional abusive to me, and very much. Although he probably didn't realize that. This video helped me to remember once more that continuing that relationship would hurt me more than ending it in the long term. And although it hurts soooo sooo much, to have to let him go, I know, in the end it's best for me... But I have the feeling, I will never stop loving him more than anything else... I feel like I can never love anyone again the way I love him and that hurts so much. I hope, it stops some day, but I am not going to give him another chance to hurt me again...

[@juliebrammer]

That one with the abuse and missing them terribly hit home. I was in a dysfunctional relationship, 6 years ago, that lasted 6 years. It might have been trauma bonding. It's taken me so long to get over. I kept wanting to go back to that person, after I left. It's scary.

[@ll3832]

For a person who's really interested in these,thank you so much for making videos P.s hi people

[@Dresserchair]

Hi

[@indridcold8433]

If one learns nothing from an experienced traumatic event, then the event is destined to repeat itself. I learned from my traumatic event. It is nos impossible for it to ever repeat in my life.

[@thatonecatwiththetophat]

I once had a "friendship" that turned out to be abusive, and I didn't realize it until she decided not to be friends with me anymore.

[@HdhdhrrhhrgrgrhhlolJdheg-zx9tj]

Ok but can we talk about how amazing the thumbnail is? 😮

[@Punkwashed_Bleach]

I didn't even know trauma bond was a thing...

[@lolitaboden6507]

I finally had the strength to leave my 35+ year marriage. He was bipolar and had a terrible abusive childhood and I had a neglected childhood. When I met him he seemed really sweet and funny, and once he told me about his childhood, I felt in my heart I needed to give this man my love, time and affection he was denied as a child. So I did my best to make him happy even after he left me and our 3 children for another woman. After 3 years he came back wanting his “ family back” . So I took him back… 18 years later and tired of walking on egg shells I had to leave for my mental health. I gained so much weight because I was comfort eating. I left 3 months ago and have lost 25 pounds and sleep so much better. I’ll be poor because he made the mistake of money between us but I don’t care. I was never meant to be his wife. I deserve better. My oldest son supports me and his wife and my grand daughters. My other two adult children believe that I left the family. I don’t understand their logic. They saw much of the arguing . Yet I believe he’s convinced them he’s the victim,

[@AlystairMourningstarr]

*me, finding out I have a trauma bond*: Oh 👁️👄👁️

[@gemsiii4395]

👁️💧👄💧👁️

[@blushface]

literally same. i thought you had to endure actual trauma with or because of said person... apparently, nope.

[@DementiaMuichiroTokito]

I used to have it, I feel your pain

[@sierrafazekas3530]

I didn't even know trauma bonds existed... My past marriage was definitely a trauma bond, and that explains so much. Here's to healing!

[@toastie4305]

This is basically my whole life, it describes my family and some of my friends

[@Krystolsenergy]

I was in a trauma bonding relationship for 5.5 years, I've learned a lot from it but eventually you need to move on to elevate your spiritual growth.

[@paulinecamillo7045]

This should be taught in junior high, high school and college…maybe earlier. I’ve been on that hamster wheel for 28 years. I lost myself.

[@AZet1983]

OMG!this is screams my last relationship. So true. Real eye opener

[@ejflesher]

The woman I was most recently with went back to a 5 year tumultuous relationship. She describes him as comfortable and familiar. I can see what is happening and the hardest part isn't her ending our relationship but seeing a woman I've grown to love to and support go back into the buzzsaw that destroyed her and not being able tell her because it'll just look like I'm trying to get her to chose me over him. So I'll just quietly sit back and hope against hope that he has a change of heart and will finally see her worth and stop cannibalizing her emotionally.

[@cherylduckworth8185]

I relate to this video word for word. I am sure I have felt way more upset and lost after a breakup with a person like this than I have in a more ordinary situation. It's as if the "sky really is falling". And then when they decide to talk to you again it is like a "hit" of a drug. Almost instantly I felt better when he liked me and wanted to be with me again. Man, 3 years later do I ever feel sad for that girl. She didn't have a clue what she'd walked into. She already had esteem issues and all he had to do was play on them. I am well on the way to healing now with the help from videos such as yours and a few others here on KZbin. Top 3 take aways.1. Boundaries, 2. It was never ALL my fault. 3. Silence, is the best opinion I have ever heard. I learned to save my breath. They don't hear it anyway. And what I don't say I can't have any regrets over. Peace and self-care above all.

[@gaelenj.francis2860]

This describes my last relationship, spot on. We met in a mental hospital when we were both at our worst, and immediately started dating. I was so attached that I still haven't fully gotten over the break-up. We've been broken up longer than the amount of time that we were together and it still impacts me every day

[@yudeesaetang7468]

To give another chance to someone who betrayed you is the worst thing ever for kind people. It's really hurt till you can't cry in tear. Mine is only twice. Further than that I cut the relationship no matter what. Don't feel regret for people who never see the value in your trust or your sincerity.

[@Tai-chan.]

I see.. makes sense. Even though it has ended , been 3 years. I still think on it and wonder about what I could have done better ( even though I did my best and I'm the one who ended it)

[@KushQrox]

Maybe it wasn't you who could've done better. Maybe you already gave it your best.

[@mjremy2605]

I'm in a trauma bond with my son. I love him dearly but he is abusive, passive aggressive, and a Narcissist like his father. The most painful thing I have had to do is cut off ties with him and let it go. I miss him. He is my only son. But I'm tired of his perpetual victimhood, gaslighting, manipulating, and using me. I always thought there was love on the other end. But now I realize there is no love. That is the most devastating thing I have had to deal with in my life. It has almost broken me. I love my son but he does not love me. He uses me. Silent treatment, gaslighting, blaming me for invented things that never happened, abusive behavior yelling at me, and so on. I cannot stay in this relationship as it invalidates and diminishes me. I decided to break the cord. I'm done. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it does not. You have to have the courage and will to leave. The only thing that is important is yourself. Thank you for a nicely done video. The cartoons were poignant and sweet. The message is clear. I made the right choice.

[@augustinabrambilla2359]

Whoever is watching this have a wonderful day and God bless you!

[@Idontwanttobehereanymore]

You too!

[@trinaperfect5638]

Bless you too, a big hug

[@maunder01]

God bless you 🙏

[@AlwaysHaveFaith07]

Virtual hugs!!!

[@ssww3]

You too

[@iya4016]

ive never heard of it.....but i relate so much. his attitude changed drastically. he is always mad , sad , or happy..but once he gets mad he blames it on me or then says he sorry and does jt again. he broke too many promises i cant count. but i always come back...i miss him:( i genuinely love him. yes id do anything for him and his happiness:(. i always hold onto good parts of our relationship so we could be tg. i always feel heartbroken, he always tells me i promise things will stay,, i promise ill change, i love u. i always trust them even if they break me. i do defend our relationship. to everyone. i try to make our relationship seem better and happier than it is. i just wish we would work out. i am so blind in love and ik it i just wont believe i it? i cant leave. ppl always ask me but i cant. i wish he would come back...i miss him sm to the point where i cant fall asleep bc were not otp i cant fall asleep bc hes in my mind hes everywhere hes not going away. its either up all midnight to morning or sleeping for 2 or 3 days straight i am so hurt and i wish it was different. i always stay. its so hard to leave. i just want him only him. i just rlly care. idky at this point.

[@annkatrinengj6420]

The most painfull truth of my life has been that to him I was just there to pass the time. He never loved me. And we have not talked since he broke up with me 4 years ago. I am still hurting.

[@livinggrace4148]

Yes, since I was 14 😢 I’m finally aware now at 43. I will be applying for my own apartment tomorrow and I pray I get accepted. Thank you ❤

[@drawingdragons4097]

Ouch. Hate watching these and seeing the signs in a friend of mine. I’ve finally decided that it’s time I stop.

[@wsleung1721]

So relatable in any relationship if you had been hurt. No one is alone, so let all the bad things & people go.

[@Dresserchair]

Claim your “early” card here!

[@bwompifier]

*claims card* nicee

[@kermity_lmao]

I have card number 27

[@jevinliu4658]

*Card 1697* On a side note, we can use this thread to see how quickly views grow.

[@grapekork101]

people 2 months ago: lol

[@jevinliu4658]

@Morgan Brennan I have a feeling someone screwed up here.

[@g.guerrero714]

This was sent to me...I'm emotional for this is totally me... How tough to see that I allowed myself to be in a break up to make up relationship for many years that's been 1 sided & made to feel guilty. I've lost my peace of mind & feel like I don't deserve to be loved!

[@bejeweledbat13]

i was watching this thinking "why is this me and my dad?" and then the oh no audio from TikTok started playing loudly in my head

[@sharonjones7138]

I believe this is what I had with my kids father. FINALLY…..I left. It was a really good decision, even though I was terrified to have to raise my son alone.

[@detailedabstract3322]

This is literally been my last relationship for the past two years, I finally left them after so many times of them breaking up with me and I'm still caught up on the fact that they are trying to change because they're realizing these signs, but literally every point that was made in this video I relate to, even the "why don't u leave", which is a lil scary but oh well, I'm good right now anyways

[@juliettegarcia6759]

Psych2go has been a great help on my healing journey so far 🥰This video rlly has boosted confidence in my inner wisdom bc I’ve been thinking about ending an obviously unhealthy relationship. Thank you for caring.

[@Daelaron]

I definitely got taken advantage of in such a situation for a long time. It was only when the manipulation got so weird that I lashed out verbally with my virtues several times, trying to help them with advice they didn't like that they grew bored and tired of me and discarded me like trash. In a way I still sometimes think that I shouldn't have said anything for harmony's sake, and do in fact still find myself missing them several times a week in random situations a year after. Even knowing, feeling a kind of hatred towards them for manipulating me and being a horrible liar and opportunist, I'm still kind of addicted to thinking fondly of them. Kicking the habit of kind thoughts is the most difficult thing I ever had to do. They helped me out in my darkest time to a point where I felt life-indebted to them, but I can't forsake my morals so severely for an otherwise bad person. Why would I go on living as someone I don't even like anymore? Such a "friendship" isn't worth it.

[@priyapillay6905]

The last one is what makes it very hard for me to let go of the Narcissist I was evolved with me. I continuously think of him yet I know he is no good for me. It's very hard to let go even when you know the truth....

[@devykat52]

I was in an abusive relationship like this in the past and I didn’t have friends to support me through this, they abandoned me and sided with him despite me having evidence of his abuse. Now that I’m older and see one of my younger friends going through similar to what I did I’m sticking by them and I’m not going to leave when they eventually do chose to break things off because I want them to have some kind of support where I didn’t.

[@albertcampbell5989]

I broke down and cried after watching this omg 😢

[@lizdiaz69]

After so many times of feeling the physical and emotional pain every time it ended, I now know it was a "trauma bond" and the familiarity of the "hopes of the broken promises." I now accept it was "trauma bonding" and I am ready to finally move on and let go. Although, I was already coming to terms with it---I needed to see this quick and visionary explanation. Thank you so much for this.

[@FMeister94]

The color palette of this video is so gorgeous.

[@PimBalpert]

Someone send this to Eugenia Cooney. This video really reminds me of the relationship between her and her mother

[@willmurphy6663]

Fantastic video, very concise, clear educative.... keep up the good work....

[@conejitorosada2326]

When you relate to the points of the video: *Oofs in unstable relationship*

[@rondanatan6198]

That’s how i was treated in my 26 years of marriage when the last 10 years were the most challenging. I finally divorced my ex a year ago. I’m free and I understand better the place I was in.

[@cubbi2789]

This used to be me more than a decade ago, 🤔 could be why now I prefer being alone than having that cycle start again. Sadly that’s how my parents relationship was growing up 😞

[@Kerokeroppi07]

Never I have thought that I will end up in a situation like this. I just can't help but think of him and be good for him. 💔