Why Trying to Feel Happy Backfires: Purpose vs. Happiness- 25/30 How to Process Emotions

[@anjan3750]

Your videos are amazing! I have followed this course now, and I must say: my improvement is remarkable. I have tried a lot of therapy and therapist, and what you offer here for free is really good quality. I think you are doing an amazing job for people struggling, teaching people how to solve problems yourself. Thank you very much

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks so much Anja, that's my goal!

[@MN-ey5kw]

Absolutely second this! Your videos are so well accessible, understandable, helpful and just the right amount of input to process!

[@tracylockwood447]

I fully agree! I hope to start supporting Emmas patreon so that I can enjoy more of her content while ensuring Emma and her family are taken care of financially! Thank you sooo very much Emma, I am so grateful to you and your work! ❤

[@user-xy1sc5wq7w]

Educate yourself through this video. Please give me your opinion after watching the video. I love you allm.kzbin.info/www/bejne/mpnSapKnnsuUhMU

[@Anja_Pearson]

Yes! This was (and is) super helpful to me as well. Also, nice to see another Anja watching this channel, lol. :)

[@boosqueezy2418]

took me years to really comprehend that trying to avoid pain was what was causing me pain. accepting it and honoring it helps it process and leave. resistance leads to agony. it’s okay to not be happy sometimes. it’s life. you’re not supposed to be happy constantly. oh, and let me make this clear: anti-depressants are not “happy pills,” as they are widely marketed. trust me. and if i’m having a bad day, i allow myself to feel crappy-so long as i don’t wallow for days and days

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

yeah, there's a big difference between allowing yourself to feel and keeping going, and allowing yourself to wallow

[@mord0]

Acceptance and commitment therapy embodies what you shared nicely. You can practice on yourself as well

[@amirceljo3967]

if you force yourself to be happy , it will be weird in the first place becouse theres no sign of that feeling before , there was just sadness you have no neurons that applies to happiness, you have all neurons that leads to sadness , so if you force to feel happy you create these neurons , the more you practice the more you change , the more you use new neurons , the more old ones kinda loosen and evaporate

[@belindafortuna7746]

Naturally, I have a happy personality. Constantly laughing, dancing and so curious about things. One day my partner said, I like you because you are always happy. after that I got so anxious and needed to be happy all the time, I ended up feeling miserable.

[@watchingthehorizon7799]

I don't know if you will read this but I broke down into tears nine minutes into the video... I have felt my last dozen therapy sessions have been completely pointless and futile. I was beginning to believe that I am just broken and cannot be fixed even after seeking outside help. You have helped me realign and better understand what and more importantly WHY the feelings I have make me believe I am trapped and alone. I was trying to come to terms with this when I believe my very specific prayer that I made only two days ago, the same day you published this video, was answered. I just want to say thank you... I realize I have a lot of work ahead of me and for the first time in a long time I feel as though I have direction.

[@user-xy1sc5wq7w]

Educate yourself through this video. Please give me your opinion after watching the video. I love you allm.kzbin.info/www/bejne/mpnSapKnnsuUhMU

[@satansalley6526]

❤it's taken two yrs to get to you Hoping all is well😊

[@Contessa998]

Thank you. My sister doesn’t allow any negativity in her life. It’s so weird. You can’t be happy 100%. That’s how I was raised to always be positive and happy. I could never live up to that policy so thank you for making me feel normal

[@Nuffsaid22]

The irony where Emma mentions companies use the promise of happiness to sell product then the video's sponsor better help advertises with "you deserve to be happy"

[@donnabolt5847]

This video is so important! People need to know its ok to feel sad. Its just emotions. Emotions do not define who you are as a person. I'm trying to teach my husband that. He freaks if he sees me cry. I hardly ever cried but I cry all the time now because im grieving the life I used to have. Now stuck in a body I have no control over and would do anything for my health back (auto immune disease). Thank you for this video! Your hard work is not in vain and is much appreciated by me and im pretty sure many many others

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Yes, I know the feeling. I have family members for whom no emotion is acceptable except "Being positive"

[@SunkissedKuri]

Try researching sea moss. It will help you SO much

[@sol33330]

That's so beautiful that you're releasing and healing! From what I've learned there are two keys to help overcome disease in general. They may not be what you think. One is getting in touch with your heart like you have been and releasing pent up emotions and anger. Being real with emotions within and not blocking them up but letting them flow and clean out so to speak. Being real and flowing is so powerful for many physical conditions! You are releasing all the things within your mind/body that are the cause of the dis-ease. The second tip is practicing being the observer of your thoughts. When, negative, condemning thoughts come, observe. Don't suppress them or try and hold them back but simply look at them. When you start to see that you are the pure witness and every thought, identity, and idea of yourself is always witnessed by you. You realize they have all always been imagined identities. You have always been there as pure consciousness and those identities have only been there in thought and idea. Never in permanence or reality. This is how you get free at the deepest level from my experience! Once I realized this my whole life completely changed! Now I move around a lot more freely! If almost feels as when I was a child! A child isn't weighed down by many external ideas of themselves. They just be and play! Hope this helps! Sending Love and clarity your way ❤️ Edit: also if you want some physical things you can do for your body I highly recommend you check out akeempierre.com/ He sells the herbs and seamoss which someone else mentioned to you in the comments. I get the seamoss and herbs from there and they both have helped my physical health so much! I know I wrote a lot but I just want to share with you what I know that is potent and powerful on all levels for healing! 🙂

[@funwithbigt7634]

Auto immune disease is difficult as I have one. You may also look into german new medicine with Melissa Sell. It is possible to have improved health

[@laurenmikles6605]

I am moving in one month to dedicate my life as a full time employee of The Salvation Army. This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, selling off my belongings, packing up what’s left, leaving my family, finding homes for my fur babies. I will most likely never end up back in my hometown, as I will move around every few years, depending on my appointments. I never ever thought I would do this. This wouldn’t have been my preference but it certainly is my purpose, and in that I find joy.

[@mistyviolet3825]

How is your mission going with the Salvation Army Lauren??

[@joesphbegley3088]

Strive for contentment and occasionally you will also be happy !

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

yeah

[@elenigalani4885]

"What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle" (Rumi)

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

❤

[@SoulsJourney]

I have a friend who thinks you just have to "decide" to be happy. I'm so tired of clichés and platitudes.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

yeah, it's easy to say for some people, but they just don't comprehend the struggle for others

[@serenitystreams7065]

I agree completely. I’ve learned over the decades to just “be.” It’s a long road. In extended times of trauma and divorce and loss I have had every reason to take it out on others, but instead I chose to internalise and “put on” a helpful disposition to others including apprentices and friends, which turned out to be very rewarding. It gave me purpose when I had none. The pain of loss is still there, but there is also a comfort in knowing we have control over very little in life, and to be at peace with that. I believe it’s only then that when we let go and choose to trust, and follow the path given to us, that we can finally find peace.

[@Camustang]

I'm not sure that setting up the premise that you can either internalise, or lash out, is very healthy as a mindset. Following your purpose is good, following your purpose and internalizing your emotions sounds a lot like avoidance, though...

[@keltavuokko]

I find it curious that happiness is seen as an end-result - "my goal is to become happy" (and apparently stay that way). When, like you said, people can and are happy in fleeting moments in life, one minute happy and the next less happy. Always constantly changing. It's quite damaging, I believe, that movies etc. even today try to sell us this idea that happiness is something that can be pursued and had, as if it was a luxury item that must be chased after. Thank you for the video!

[@shastahill]

Yeah :) Seems to me that Emma defines/views happiness a bit differently than how it's depicted in the comic. For as long as I can remember, I too have viewed it as fleeting and conditional, though society does kind of market it as goal that has permanence. Not paying attention to it, some conversation and questions regarding happiness baffle me. I'm much more interested in experiencing deeper, more lasting joy by just living my values, learning, etc. This video well shows how being happy is hardly where it's at😉🙏

[@boosqueezy2418]

if we were happy all of the time, it wouldn’t feel like happiness anymore; we need the contrast

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

yes!

[@amber3574]

As a person who’s depression comes from chronic pain, this is a FANTASTIC video to get my mind back on the right track. Thank you so much.

[@amirceljo3967]

Hi Emma , just wanted to say that I appreciate you and your content . Past year I had really strong anxiety attacks caused by my thoughts , I just couldn't calm , so I wanted to get the therapy . They gave me medications that I refused to use , because I know I am healthy just something is not going very well with my mind and my existential questions. I tried neurofeedback therapy which gave me amazing results , but still after few triggers I go back to anxiety and that stiffness . I watched a couple of your videos on how to sit with uncomfortable emotions until they disappear . This changed everything , I stopped ruminating , my brain just start functioning again, I'm not having those intrusive thoughts , I truly feel better even tho anxiety was persistent I just need to practice this for a while until I completely heal. Thank you so much !

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I’m so glad it’s helpful

[@19powpow91]

Hey Amir, when you said that youve seen a couple of her videos where you learned how to sit with uncomfortable emotions until they disappear? Do you have the links to those by chance? I suffer from the exact same thing you talked about. I couldn't have said it better myself. I believe anything that you found helpful would help me too.

[@amirceljo3967]

@@19powpow91 Hi man , thank you for sharing your story. I cant find this particular video at the moment but I strongly recommend you to watch some of Joe Dispenzas videos and its basicly the same , he show you how to change brainwaves and how to reprogram your mind . Overall , anxiety is just a turned uo state of nervousness, just try to stay calm as possible , you practice that enough times , your brain will rewire and you will subconciously be calmer everyday as Joe says. It worked for me ,I noticed changes in 5 days and from that day Im no longer the same person. Dont expect changes to come overnight even tho you can truly have a transformational moment , just go with it everyehere ,if you feel nervous embrace it and go with it .. try to be calmer as much as possible and you will see , it will just come you will feel your normal state again and it will be nothing suprisingly different just calmer and thats it :D Watch some of Joe Dispenzas video its magical trust me.

[@19powpow91]

@@amirceljo3967 thank you so much for replying :) I will most definitely take a look at that tomorrow when I get a chance. Everything you described and explained was how I've been feeling. And it's so hard to explain or put into words to someone who doesn't understand. So thank you. And I will practice this as best I can . I hope I too, can say in five days it will help me too ^-^

[@amirceljo3967]

@@19powpow91 this is why this video is all about , when you catch yourself falling in that pit of worry , fear , you will see it , observe it , give yourself a second to observe it and than litteraly just change it , choose feeling and then just feel it .. haha I know it sounds easier said than done but thats that secret spot where healing begins. And practice it , you will notice yourself falling in that pit after but do it again , feel what you want to feel in that moment and it will reprogram your mind , after some days it will change your neurological pathways and you will feel more and more of that that youve choosen just like you let yourself feel anxiety and never think in the past , never observe your future and yourself through some disturbing emotion , it wil make your brain worse and try this . Close your eyes and expand your awareness , from yourself , start noticing space around you without noticing your anxiety and ask yourself , where would this anxiety be if all of that wasnt real ? and then try to observe your mind like you have no thougts , just blank hole then allow yourself to rex

[@leonamcandrews8925]

You really nailed it. I have thought of myself as, not necessarily an unhappy person, but not as a happy person either. Moments can be happy, but expecting happiness all the time is unrealistic. Thanks for the video.

[@mrbill4206]

I always thought it was bizarre the way all social interactions seem to be designed to make others happy. Some aren't even happy with just accepting you might not be happy and they will directly say things like "why aren't you smiling?"

[@ghaliyahansari1557]

Thank you Dr. McAdam. This was an insightful video. Even though I'm no longer depressed, I always thought there was something wrong with me because I'm not "happy". Thank you for telling me I'm perfectly normal now.

[@SolusMaximus]

Thank you for your selfless and meaningful work.

[@nima4719]

I think people want to be happy because most of the time they are unhappy, I am most of the time unhappy, even when I graduated I wasn't happy, I remember my friend asked me why I looked so sad. Yesterday I went to hospital to see dermatologist it was my first meeting and he asked why I am looked so sad. This question I heard many times from friends, family members and even strangers. what you feel inside it will reflect on your face even when you are unaware about that feelings. This is because I am not satisfied and disappointed with myself. I see myself as a bad person. I am trying to change this thought process I am working on that. Simply being happy motivates us to go ahead and live our life.

[@blueblackhusky]

Dear Emma, I just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you! for creating this particular playlist of gems and then making it freely available. It is one of the best resources for "how to human 101" I have ever encountered, and I have already shared it widely. I see a lot of my journey reflected in it, from angry teenager to hopelessly despairing, depressed twenty-something to a more easily equilibrating 30-something. That journey has led me precisely through acceptance of past trauma, learning that discomfort is the price for doing something worthwhile, through clarifying my value system and realizing I need to make use of my real talents to help people in order to feel a certain baseline of being content. I sincerely hope as many people as possible get to see this, so that it may ease some of the suffering that comes from getting a rather primitive education in how to live well. You're doing fantastic work here, and I hope you can keep it up for a long time to come. Much appreciation from across the Atlantic :)

[@bageerasf]

"How to human 101" 😁 lately I have been feeling like I need an instruction manual on how to function as a human! 🥴

[@sol33330]

This is a fantastic video! One thing I would like to add is my approach recently which has greatly helped me! It's kind of like what you said. I'm not trying to pursue happiness but rather just being myself. I'm also practicing being the observer to thoughts and happiness seems to naturally arise when I do this! I see the thoughts for what they are but I'm not always jumping in so to speak. Like not all thoughts are bad but many are imagined struggles. I find too much indulgence in my mind produces unhappiness but when I'm just letting go and operating from a place of being, happiness seems to be there as a gentle breeze that ebbs and flows. Sometimes more blissful and other times a hint of happiness in the midst of peace. But the biggest thing I've taken away from all of this is that my being is naturally at peace and gently happy and the only thing that seems to cloud that is my mind and overthinking. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on this! Thank you for putting out such life-changing content for free Emma!

[@clintraymundo6547]

Exactly! Letting your emotions breathe and move makes you whole. And I’m also trying to listen to my thoughts and feelings but never indulge in them, but I find it hard to tell if constantly trying to do this is also overthinking. What are y’all’s thoughts?

[@sol33330]

@@clintraymundo6547 it can be from my experience. I just gently remember to observe if I am getting to swept away by everything. But I learned that always making sure I’m observing can definitely be like overthinking and will cause unrest. Just a tool to bring me back to being and enjoying life.

[@--rheu2345]

@@clintraymundo6547omg i thought it was just me. i noticed constantly trying to just observe and not get caught up was just another form of me overthinking and being hypervigilant. i think observing is most useful when i *only* use it when, like the other commenter said, im “being swept away” by them.

[@chrisinmarch]

This is tremendous and you are tremendous. Man I wish I found this channel years ago.

[@2ndpartycrasher954]

About 9 months ago i started to face my problems and learn more about myself, this in turn led to ocd, (which i wasn't aware at the time) i noticed myself obsessing more the more i learned and then it snapped, after 3 months i got terrible ocd theme that lasted for 5 months. While i do not like ocd. I do not regret at all, starting this journey of self discovery. Even though I'm stucked with ocd it's so worth fighting through it. I am in no means happy, i don't have any friends peeps, lonely, etc but this self discovery does me good.

[@vidg1928]

Hi...I cannot tell you enough how great and wonderful a thing you are doing here with your video content. Thanks a ton for making lives better for lots of people out there , people like me, who find it difficult to figure out and deal with their emotions. May God always bless you!🙏.

[@michellesavage2427]

The camping story was awesome! Thanks for doing that. What an impact on people's life. That networks to others more than we know! Love it. Thanks so for all the Love in you.

[@cierravoss9524]

Thank you so much for making videos. I send them to my friends to watch and you truly are making a difference in our lives. All it takes is a new perspective or thought process to change someone’s thoughts. I would have never made it out of my lowest point in life if it were not for you. Thank you. We all needed you and never even knew it.

[@bageerasf]

💜

[@Ella-dd3vz]

"i just want to be happy..." i was saying this phrase in my head just moments ago, before i clicked this video 😓

[@niacrockett7293]

Preach!!! You are my new therapist.!!! But one of my pet peeves is always if I’m asked how I’m doing and I say I’m alright or ok then its “ why just ok???!” Like there’s something wrong with me for feeling other emotions. I learned from this video that it does in fact make it worse to chase happiness I have been saying for years I just want to be happy not knowing that chasing happiness is like chasing a high you are better off chasing purpose. And putting up walls to not get hurt Guarantees hurt. Game changer for me!! I will be starting this course over from the beginning ❤️‍🩹

[@leonardstefanyshyn40]

Peace in the midst of life’s struggles is all I seek. Only one place to find that 🙏🏼📿

[@mph1ish]

Amen and Hail Mary!

[@andraste6746]

Aw that baby and puppies did make me happy 😊 I think I feel most happy when I am engaged in something-learning, reading, laughing, watching something. When that mind quiets and you are just in that moment. That’s joy for me.

[@michelefair1577]

Thank you so much for this video. It really helped me articulate what I’ve been feeling for so long about how society thinks happiness is the only thing and the end goal. Thanks for this perspective!

[@staylor8847]

I appreciate this video so much bc it shares much truth. It is to much pressure to put on people, expecting them to be "happy" every single day...moment and second. Also I am glad that you suggested a walk in the cemetery. I do enjoy walking around cemeteries and reading what people chose to leave for the last words, what was most important to them.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks Sandy, I feel the same way about the pressure to be happy all the time

[@secretname2670]

7:05 "In our society there is a zero tolerance policy for negativity" She said it two years ago. Even today everyone seems to collide negativity with bad things, while in reality it's a worldview at worst, not actual physical phenomenon that can cause damage. I am negative, I may call people bad words, I may ridicule someone, but if these same people actually asked me for help, or were in any danger, I would gladly help, without a word, because words matter less than action.

[@barriemacfarlane]

Thanks Emma . Even though I am 75,I am still learning. Your videos are a big help.I wish you well as your family grows.Barrie,Dartmouth,Nova Scotia ,Canada

[@alexlinthicum]

Love the title 🥰 I feel like I should be paying you for watching these videos. Thank you so much

[@sleverlight]

She has a Patreon

[@rdylke]

This is a Wonderful program you have created. I have found each episode to be very worth while viewing with lots of great takeaways. Thank you very much for doing this, I'm very grateful that you are sharing your talent and enriching us all. God Bless you!

[@TeresaAlexandraCosta]

To me happiness means a fleeting emotion you can only feel when you are not aware - you realise what it is only afterwards, not during, and that realization leaves you with a nice fuzzy feeling. The suffering of the hard work can still be happiness to me, even melancholy and sadness can be happiness to me. I can say I am a happy person even when I'm suffering from anxiety attacks and going through my depression (though not when the depression was really bad, only when it was in a light stage). I'm not always happy, but that's why the realization that something made me happy (like that exercise routine I finally suffered through) makes me aware I am a happy person (even though I hated almost every minute of the workout)

[@1800cxllect]

Thank you for the idea. I was averse to the idea of walking through my neighborhold cemetery but I trusted that it would be a beneficial experience. I went today and among many beautiful headstones, one read - "To live in those left behind is not to die". ❤️

[@valeriejoylauria8944]

I just discovered your videos and I absolutely have fallen in LOVE with you! I’ve been in therapy for 25 years but never heard what you are saying put together in this way. I’ve also learned a lot of new things I never knew before, changes the perspective. Thank you so so so much for these videos, I’m going to watch them over and over. 💕💕💕

[@frankducett9]

I am by nature a very happy person, quick to laugh and simply glad to be here. It gets rough at times, so I work on the parasympathetic, as you taught me, with breathing, and like magic I am back to happy. I don't have to drink or smoke dope to be here, and happy.

[@ghirettasanguinaria8]

Thank you so much for this video, I frequently felt an outcast 'cause I like things that are not just "fun" and require some effort. I struggle feeling happy the way most of our society push us to. Your words made me feel good and worthy and I really thank you for that.

[@Phantom.1]

As Eckhart Tolle says, resistance is negativity is suffering. Think about it!

[@kevinhermi9861]

I just want to let you know thanks to you the last few months I've watched your videos and realised what I need to do, I've know accepted and gotten past something that's caused Me distress for the past 5 to 6 years and even tho sometimes old sensations and emotions come back up you've helped me spot when they do sit and deal and sort the emotions by calming my body and rationally sorting them out, my constant physical manifestation of fear in my chest has subsided, and I think clearly most of the day, just calming my body and every morning and thinking through even If it's uncomfortable but knowing to calm down the body until the brain realised the thoughts aren't a threat is the best thing I've tried and it actually works

[@amebimus]

Thank you for you videos! I have generalized anxiety for 2 years now and i'm 3 months post meds and i seem to be more sensitive and it is more difficult for me to be/feel happy, so i tried to do lots of stuff to acomplish that. BUT, form your video and talking with closed ones, i understood i was trying to much and it backfires. I look back to my progress and i see my improvement and i also remember no one is happy 24/7, there are also other important feelings :)

[@batterly71]

I remember when I left school, with what seemed like relative freedom stretching out before me. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but I remember writing in my diary that I just want to be happy. This was a statement based on comparison with years of authoritarian schooling that had made me feel small and miserable. I actually meant that 'happy' equated to satisfied, purposeful, content, joyful. And I then went about doing all those risky behaviours mentioned at the beginning of this vid. I so could have done with a wilderness school at that time! I'm here because I'm still trying to figure things out...30 years later. I've tried so many ways to help me be more positive, but these vids have been the best, most valuable tool I have found. And I love that I can re-watch them over and over to reinforce an idea and actually practice it. Thank you again Emma!

[@CM-sf9bc]

I believe the word, 'fun,' is the same. I have fun. I just have moments of fun. I enjoy things, but they aren't always what I would term as 'fun. '

[@daniela9488]

Thanks for this. I'm convinced that life's purpose is not being happy but living on, and us humans are special animals so we have even more responsibilities: paraphrasing Carl Sagan "we are the universe that looks at itself". I believe the ultimate goal of humanity is understanding of the world and taking care of it. That's what I would want to spend my life like, studying even if it's just doing master after master if I don't have the mental stability and resilience for a phd. I know I would suffer but I don't care. Also I'm having trouble with therapists because I'm under the impression they're also infected with that "toxic" positivity and I hate it.

[@Caroline-hx4uj]

I can relate to this. I find myself being on the journey of living out my values.

[@eliut6855]

Emma your voice and demeanor calm me. I’m so glad I found your channel. You are doing a GREAT job thanks

[@malaksa6554]

Thank you so much. I am grateful for your channel it helps me whenever I feel nothing or sad or depressed. May Allah bless you

[@mariannahasegawa4215]

All your videos are amazing but this hit me the most.

[@Kate98755]

the journey to me includes the ups and dowm, without a specific end scenario, in the journey you're in the NOW, low or no expectations, you accept the twists and turns. When i enjoyed the journey of a tennis match, regardless of the outcome, while i would try to learn and improve on my play performance, i accepted on that day, i had certain results...not good or bad, my play performance so improved, it was amazing, i'd managed to remove the pressure. thanks for your videos

[@jenb9274]

This was just what I needed. Thank you 🌸🙏🌸

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

For me, the idea of lifelong happiness is a general feeling of contentment. Being interested in life, and other emotions being allowed too. I want my base mood to not be sadness. I guess that's why I seek happiness - I'm really seeking a base mood that is more neutral, rather than negative. I like the idea of curiosity and interest. I think that not hoping for happiness sounds extreme, though I understand the premise. I think the goal is to allow yourself to feel and give space for your emotions, but then to also keep going and not sit in sadness.

[@Clarity2222]

The intro is something I always felt... but could never put in words. Looking forward to the rest of the info. Thank you for sharing your insights in this style. It helped me understanding instantly ☮

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@centpushups]

Solomon ecclesiastes is all of this. I found it bleak but true. So insightful and just to find flexible enjoyment in everyday things.

[@Phantom.1]

She’s the best therapist ever.

[@lela145]

❤️❤️❤️... Great explanation of difference between "happy" life and meaningful life 🌹❤️...

[@marasmithson6218]

I can't really relate to the 'zero tolerance for negativity' experience...don't know why but I feel like in europe its often the exact opposite and if you would say you're happy in a moment it would be equated with unproductivity/stupidity because being busy stressed burnt out is almost seen as the perfect

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Yeah that’s such an interesting perspective- I’ve heard that more than once today in the comments

[@sol33330]

Wow that's so interesting! What I'm learning from all of this is extreme approaches to emotions are often unhealthy but just being and processing the full spectrum of emotions is healthy. 🙂

[@Laura-ch7fl]

Such a good video. Thank you so much. My purpose in life was to take care of my ailing mom, then she died. Then one of my sister’s needed a lot of medical help after that…then she suddenly died. I’m a hospital nurse but I feel burned out and I find little purpose in my life anymore. I’m in my early 50s and yet I feel like life is over. I have purpose in my cats…but that isn’t much of anything. I just don’t have any ummph to work on my social life. I hope to be a blessing in someone’s life. But I just don’t know.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Sounds like your battery needs a little recharge. You've done so much good and I bet it's hard to transition to something else, give yourself some space to explore what is meaningful to you.

[@bageerasf]

💜

[@Raminakai]

I am so sorry for your loss of your dear mother and sister. You gave of your self to love and be loved. That was a beautiful gift and that love will always be alive in you. You possibly could be exhausted. I wonder if a grief group or something like that would interest you? Maybe a walk a day with a neighbor ? Whatever you come up with best of blessings to you! I am 53 - a former caregiver and have lost many also- not close family but friends and very special clients that I loved. I lost a few friends to depression/ chronic pain. Setting little goals helps me- walking- a couple times a day with dog. I have to work on crying more .. because I am a “stuffer “ and though I cried a lot at the time of the losses- I have felt numb. One thing I used to do was swim class- it was fantastically helpful- a bit of non threatening social chats, and the fun of the water dances. God Bless...

[@Laura-ch7fl]

@@Raminakai thank you! You have good advice. I will try taking your ideas. I need to reach out to others more. And when I cry, it feels so good. It’s like tension is being released.

[@Raminakai]

@@Laura-ch7fl Thanks. My hearts and prayers are with you as you find Gods healing guidance.

[@muirl4617]

Thank you sooooo much for your videos. It's great support for me. (I'm in France 🙂)

[@meitalreshef2654]

Such an important message. Really enjoyed listening.

[@ScarletKnightmare]

Dennis Prager has an excellent book called Happiness is a Serious Problem wherein he offers the formula: Happiness=Reality-Expectations

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

that sounds awesome, I'll have to check it out

[@zelenisok]

the fake university charlatan who peddles fascistoid nonsense on his fake uni youtube?

[@ScarletKnightmare]

@@zelenisok Only if you say so.

[@iloveyellow7214]

Emma? Im a fan of your channel now youre amazing for doing this I have been here maybe at the 200-400k mark Im staying to celebrate with you once you hit 900k and beyond 😘 thank you for sharing this

[@dianecheney4141]

I decided to give up on chasing happy and I’ve decided to focus on contentment. And that works for me. That works for me because it’s not as huge an emotion As happy

[@Soor446]

Thank you, this is exactly what I needed ❤

[@junkpunkstore]

This is a lovely video, it really matters to me and I'm so "happy" I watched it today

[@hereshoping6992]

Im lonely id like to feel connected to someone

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Start reaching out and giving, there's always others who want to connect

[@ib4359]

Ask a man to be your friend/mentor.

[@traditionaltools5080]

There lies the irony. Even therapists want to deal with "problems", unhappiness, etc. Like I'm something to solve. On the flip side, chasing purpose and engagement, interest, etc. takes time, money and energy. It's a luxury. So many people are trapped in the rat race or total poverty. Paying bills by working repetitive, simple jobs that consume them. Honestly, life is a river. You can steer the boat but your still being swept downstream. Happy, sad, in between. None of it matters when you were thrown in that boat without your consent in the first place.

[@tamarasue5411]

When I smile at someone I love it when they smile back, but most of the time I don't get a smile back and it hurts.

[@mph1ish]

I used to feel hurt, now I say a prayer for them. Maybe they're having a rough day- or a rough life.

[@ΓεωργίαΓεωργίου-υ9η]

Thank you soooo much, from Cyprus!!😘

[@Linda-bj3bb]

The happiest people I ever met was in a deep rural area of KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. They were poor and had no ambition or even purpose in life. They just lived for the day, but one thing for sure family, friends and the community was number one priority in their lives. Injury to one of them was Injury to all of them. They stuck together through thick and thin. Singing and dancing was a daily activity as was laughter. My work as a nurse had come to an end in that community and in spite of their extreme lack of finances they collected money together for a departure gift for me. On presenting me with the gift They all stood up and sang the most beautiful song for me, which is now my favorite Zulu song . The tears were rolling down my face and even now if I hear that song I can't choke back the tears no matter how hard I try. Happiness is love and love is happiness.

[@truckerdaddy-akajohninqueb4793]

I've been on a slippery slope for a few years now. I've been begging my doctor for help. She tried every antidepressant possible. Nothing helped. However I have never felt depressed. Chronic fatigue yes. Anxiety has been out of control. Not getting out of bed. It all sounds like depression but it's not IMHO. Second day on atomoxetine. I feel less anxiety. My minds wanders less. I'm not sure if I should be operating a motor vehicle. I'm good with the blunting for now. The hamster is sleeping. Restless legs are subsiding. Anxiety has been putting me on a slippery slope. We'll see what day 3 brings. I'm hoping I'll be less of a wimpy when my family doctor sees me in 2 weeks. She has been supportive but I felt like a useless whiner. I'm hoping for real progress.

[@stillnotstill]

Gotta let the mechanic know what's wrong with the car so it can be addressed. It's not whining to let someone whose services you are employing know what's wrong so they can do their job 😊

[@lauraharper9583]

SO SO SO SO HELPFUL! Thank you!

[@johngarbutt2857]

As Arlo Guthrie once said, "You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in."

[@davidk349]

We need first to feel known, where others can be trusted to know us, what we really think. If this goes on long enough, we feel cared about. And if that goes on long enough, we know we belong. That's our human need, we can't just ignore it and expect to feel complete. We really do need it. But it's not in fashion to give it away like we should, so we make do with whatever else there is to distract us.

[@matthewraden5210]

“In this short life which lasts but an hour, how much, how little is within our power.” Emily Dickinson

[@michelefair1577]

I love Emily Dickson.

[@mariazeta8756]

This is so awesome. I love your content. Thank you for all you do.

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Glad you enjoy it!

[@valeriejoylauria8944]

I just discovered your videos and you’re brilliant! I’ve never heard these thoughts put together this way before. The only difficulty I have with this particular subject is I don’t know what my Purpose is. I haven’t looked yet perhaps you have a video on that. But if not do you have any advice on how one finds their purpose? Thank you so much! ☺️💕

[@johnpritchard9753]

Absolutely brilliant video - thank you!

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jamesrichie7844]

"Why be happy when you can be interesting?" - Slavoj Zizek

[@milcky16]

This is highly unrelatable to me. Maybe because I'm not from America but from Europe where I was surrounded by negative, complaining and angry people. To me, being happy is having a purpose in life. I don't have it. I don't want this life. Never did.

[@redpostbox7185]

This video is an interesting poem about the meaning of life kzbin.info/www/bejne/bZWUZ3amjNVgpc0

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

That's a good point. Finding joy and happiness is valuable and worthy. Seeking a happy life is different than "just trying to feel happy" there is goodness to be sought after and joy to be had. and I can see it from both sides. In a culture where you're almost oppressively told to be happy, allowing yourself to feel can help you find more happiness. In a culture where you're constantly being told to be negative, seeking happiness may be a better way.

[@freshliving4199]

The world is full of angry people…not just Europe. Happiness is really fake peace. What you really want is peace…perfect peace. Being at peace you will have no anger and your purpose will find you. Do you have anger?

[@milcky16]

@@freshliving4199 I don't have residing anger. I don't believe I need peace. I've found peace but it didn't help me. More than peace I need to find joy in doing/pursuing something. What works for one individual does not make it an all-cure. We are all human but we're also unique.

[@alexandramcleod2079]

I’m happy to be ‘CONTENT’

[@atticusfinch6038]

not to push spirituality too much but those who find that they are suffering no book has helped me as much as the simple yet highly effective philosophy of tao te Ching Stephen Mitchell translation "Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear. What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure? Whether you go up the ladder or down it, your position is shaky. When you stand with your two feet on the ground, you will always keep your balance.What does it mean that hope is as hollow as fear? Hope and fear are both phantoms that arise from thinking of the self. When we don’t see the self as self, what do we have to fear? See the world as your self. Have faith in the way things are. Love the world as your self; then you can care for all things."

[@BigBossMan538]

One thing that always irritates me is how people assume I’m unhappy when I’m not smiling or I’m quiet, when I’m not feeling upset really. Just want to tell people to zip it

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

I totally know this feeling. Sometimes I just want to sit in a corner and watch quietly, and people assume I'm unhappy.

[@gdfggggg]

I’ve felt happy before, the last few months though I’ve felt anxious and depressed. I know I can be happy again it just takes a bit of time. Life certainly is a funny thing. The ups and downs can be quite stark. If you had ups and your down you can bring yourself up again. You just gotta use the right tools available for you and work at it.

[@ArtofWEZ]

I see the opposite. news and facebook seems to think unhappy is the natural state to the point I feel like my happiness is fake when I have it

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Yeah, I'm staying away from Facebook and the news too much...they sell fear...life is genuinely good much of the time, there is a space for joy and love and happiness and sorrow and grief, but the news puts all the focus on "What bad thing are people arguing about today?"

[@oskytherapy4604]

Hi from Argentina fantastic work and very real and honest, thank you ,Take care

[@arjunmrao4039]

Acceptance Theory/Therapy explained here is awesome ✌️👏🏻 Nice Video, thank you madam

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Thanks a lot 😊

[@Kate98755]

i'm happy, grateful and content that I woke up today, hope I get tomorrow...,but won't think of that until tomorrow otherwise I waste today away.

[@cindygardner5864]

The churches here in Oregon are teaching that we can have joy at all times. It made me feel like an outsider. I don't believe they all believed the teaching.

[@anthonybardsley4985]

You are so authentic. You truly connect

[@Godblessforeveryone]

Infinite thanks Ms. McAdam 💕🌻

[@jamesmolloy6328]

The struggle to find happiness is just that - STRUGGLE!!!

[@coppermoth6069]

Feeling the feelings I most often feel, and have felt most often for as long as I can remember, it’s scary

[@MrMuugoo]

So happiness for most of us is an unattainable goal, so the best we can hope for is to distract ourselves from it by pursuing a purpose that for most of us won’t amount to anything, then die. Strange, I sort of saw it but refused to admit it to myself until now,

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

“Feeling happy” is different from being happy. I believe you can pursue joy, a happy life, goodness and purpose and you’ll probably feel happy much of the time. If you only pursue feeling good- then you’ll often feel miserable

[@Godblessforeveryone]

Thank you Ms. Mcadam. This is very helpful 😊

[@cairosilver2932]

I don't think I relate to running until your bones hurt. I'd agree just pressed a button that makes you happy...it'd be kind of empty, because you're just happy but not from having done things. I think the ideal is to generate for yourself a sort of vygotsky's zone of proximal development, where what you set up for yourself are challenges that are at just the right difficulty curve to provide challenge but also within your capacity enough that you progress and feel happy. And overall the challenges are stemming from your own intrinsic goals. I don't think running until your bones hurt fits into this - or it comes from some IMO self destructive intrinsic goals.

[@kimiriz9343]

So true. Life is more than just black or white. Happy or miserable. Just like some who say you have to get married to be complete. Anything wrong with staying single? Some even ridicule the singles, crazy.