Why We Don’t Change (and what you can do about it) | Dr. Ross Ellenhorn, Being Well

[@awakening383]

Forest, I'm so thrilled that you are getting the audience you've worked hard for. 5k views in one day, YAY! That's because you consistently put out quality, engaging material, and once people find you, they stick with you. The greater your audience, the more people you help, so fingers crossed it keeps growing. Thank you for your hard work!

[@MarleyLeMar]

This was a podcast I could both listen to and meditate on. I appreciate how Being Well often presents the scientific as well as the spiritual aspects of the human experience. For me it’s deeply healing.

[@Chucanelli]

What a wonderful discussion. Forrest does such a great job guiding and engaging in these interviews, and I’m looking forward to finding more of Ross’s work. Thank you both. 🙏

[@thelouisjohnson]

Dr. Ellenhorn’s work is really brilliant, especially on change and fear of hope - it helped me out A LOT and I’m pleased you’ve had him on the show!

[@Panda-pz3em]

This might be the best video ever created about the human mind. I also love how grounded Forrest and Rick are. They take humble pride in providing these great videos . Their egos are right-sized which seems to be an increasingly rare phenomenon. I don’t know why this channel doesn’t have a million subscribers.

[@Jjjrrrrrhjdj]

Thank you for this insightful interview!!! I need to share one thing: I read and listen to various psychologists who tell me humans are the moat social species. From my observation of horses, they seek safety and direction just as much as humans do. I think any seasoned horse person will agree. We have so much to learn from observing the more-than-human life around us. Humans have lost touch with their surroundings, and so lost touch with themselves IMHO.

[@peacefulisland67]

Whenever I do something that feels too challenging to my system, I automatically start numbing out. So, no matter how many times I experience getting on a bus and going to the right place at the right time, I still get anxious like it's the first time. Great protection when I was 5, not so much now.

[@ataraxigrace822]

I have experienced this. Doing work with co-regulation/somatic therapies helped me. An unconventional approach to ‘somatic therapy’ even helped me. Years ago, I did 5 sessions with a women practicing hands on Reiki, where I lay fully clothed under blankets, while she spent 1.5 hours gently holding/placing her hands over my body (not genitals) helped my nervous system reset - I had had vasovagel syncope since I was a child - and in the 10 years since those 5 hands-on sessions - I have fainted once - very recently when I had a serious injury that required stitches. Btw she came highly recommended - which is the only reason I did it. And I felt safe with her as soon as I met her. I don’t think there is much peer reviewed study on this tbh - but I am assuming it can be associated with the other therapy’s and studies on co-regulation and somatic therapy. I think it worked because it was hands on - I wouldn’t recommend paying for any session where they hold their hands above you for an hour 😅 Atleast - not if you are hoping on doing any bottom up work to support you to feel safe in your body. Studies on yoga and PTSD have been promising- I.e using breathing and movement to relearn safety in your body. I would look at the slower more restorative practices like yin yoga. Basically I am saying, don’t give up. Our bodies and minds want to heal. I wish you well in your healing journey ☺️

[@MiPo3333]

Another big episode. Thanks so much for everything you are doing for us, Forrest 🙏💙

[@darkcreatureinadarkroom1617]

I felt EVERYTHING throughout this conversation. This is gold. I can absolutely see why this is a favorite interview for you Forrest, I felt that too, and I'm going to look up where to get Dr Ross' book. I think his approach is what we as a species need so badly right now, it's the future! Everything points towards it, towards community being at the core of our experiences and existence as a whole. Sending you lots of love 🫶

[@jennyphilipson686]

I'm a therapist too. I think about this issue all the time and have never heard of it explained so eloquently. Thank you!!

[@peacefulisland67]

At 57, I'm only beginning to discover how complex my own CPTSD actually is, and also that what I feel in my body (cellular memory included) isn't all my own experience and therefore not all my fault (shortcoming). When Ross talks about the difference between knowing what to do in life and actually applying the knowledge I totally get it. For the most part, I know how I want to behave and what I want to spend my time doing, but when I'm enacting it all, I feel like I'm in freefall. There is no point of reference in my body and mind that's readily accessible. Lately I've been playing with the sense that it's just me feeling out of control. My want for a point of reference for everything is like wanting to be God. This wee human body and mind in this life only has a certain capacity. I can't bring up every memory from every lifetime of my own and others. I have to find trust somehow, which I understandably lack. Thank you for this episode.

[@nicolash.4458]

I think you are missing one important point. You mention knowledge. But it is mostly in the sense of tradition ( socially) and intuition/ habit (individually) that a type of confortable attitude can be understood - you know your station in life and place in society. As he says elsewhere, we are more than ever before faced with the task of being an autonomous happy healthy self-directed individual in fast evolving societies. The lack of knowledge felt is understandable. As it’s ever moving ground. The depression is normal, so is the anxiety if you understand it as tiredness and overstimulation in a dynamic and a complex situation. People with more social support succeed better. This is not because they’ve gotten through the levels or evolved but mostly because they’ve had enough social buffers to never slip too far down.

[@peacefulisland67]

@nicolash.4458 .y tradition is chaos. 😉

[@Pathfinder11]

I, somewhat obsessively, listen to self-help content, and I genuinely think this might be the best conversation I’ve ever heard. Both for myself and the struggles I still have but also for my grace and compassion for others who I love who aren’t changing.

[@Lore788]

Great conversation, on change, hope, faith and mental health. Thank you!🙏😻

[@heidi32500]

Wow. I can only describe feeling like "home". Like this is the place to be. I have a library and experienced life of human suffering and wanting out. Or at least easing up on the reins. Mental healt, mental illness, behavioral, cognitive, spiritual education etc is a heavy task to take on. I feel I read a book and it's one part of my recovery. That's just it. Parts. This interview brought my full library to my front door. Welcome home. This insight makes so much sense. Elementary. Its grounding. I am relistening and will get this book. Fabulous interview.

[@skeptik-ci5xo]

Wow...this could not be more relevant to what I am going through right now in my life. Fabulous interview, thank you!!

[@franceshall3364]

Loved every moment of this dialogue. As you said Forest compassion is the antidote to shame which has been the missing link in my journey.

[@eli7527]

Really glad I heard this. It all resonates

[@rafeeqwarfield9690]

8 minutes in and I’m blown away

[@melissachinnici]

This was SO good!!!

[@randitruitt1671]

Thank you! That was great!

[@Jjjrrrrrhjdj]

I would love to change this habit of obsessing on a goal that in reality is a fantasy. It seems as though it's always bubbling under the surface. Dr. Ellenhorn has given me another perspective....🙏

[@dmitriikhrustalev2756]

I am so sorry that KZbin doesn't allow you to like a video twice

[@jojogomez26]

Make multiple accounts and come back to like again 😅😊❤

[@Panda-pz3em]

Agree totally

[@movewithmike]

I listened to this twice and Spotify and now a third time on KZbin. Possibly my favourite episode!

[@jojogomez26]

If this man needed to talk for 5 hours I would watch that video. So enlightening

[@Daniel-wd8ys]

Wonder-fully Brilliant 🫧✨🌌

[@zezezep]

Do you think my doc will show me the door after fifteen years of my ups and downs? As an -aging- aged ADHDer where do i find the energy and resilience to stick with the programme?

[@jojogomez26]

I hope he can come back at least once a month .. I'd love to upload his genius to my 🧠

[@peacefulisland67]

Can we clear up what "enjoy" means here? There's a difference between joy and love, etc., and trying to fill empty spaces. I've never "loved" chaos. I've misapprehended what love means and only seek chaos as comfort by familiarity. 😑

[@verthandijal]

⭐

[@markd7933]

What to do then when the person becomes addicted to validation? And “self-help” therapies they see online on (podcasts lol), and also dialogue only goes so far. Eventually you talk so much the person may become self obsessed and not ever actually do anything. Not self obsessed in a negative or arrogant/conceited way but only capable of dealing with their own dialogue in a back and forth way. Judging the judging. Being rigid about not being rigid. I would think that there tons that can’t afford professional help have to go in these online self help places only to end up getting frozen with the over abundance of information. Not to mention the predatory algorithms that know everything that’s wrong with you (supposedly). So for me the first point of having faith in yourself hit hard.

[@gs-rc3jz]

I so much needed it today, trying to get rid of long lasting ED behaviors. Thank you a lot❤

[@adamswierczynski]

If a framework for addiction includes being addicted to one's family, it highlights both the desperate need to both cling to and abandon the framework. Why do paradigms resist changing when it is so obvious they are harmful? Not only does "being addicted" to one's family or wife cheapen emotional intimacy, but it is the very root of the need to escape in the first place: low individual differentiation. High differentiation is a protective factor from compulsive escapes of any form. Being able to disidentify from distress is the core of "curing" "addiction".

[@AbdullahSediqi23]

Getting a progressive injury like posterior tibial tendonopathy makes you feel hopeless. You get it through being active and you are effectively punished by having to take months off running and possibly requires surgery

[@eli7527]

8:15💡

[@eli7527]

15:50💡

[@eli7527]

30:15💡