Pt 1: Why we haven’t had KIDS!!!

[@missdee212]

After I worked in a fertility clinic I never ask people why they haven't had children yet. Sometimes it may be that they just don't want any and that's cool too.

[@LingandLamb]

Exactly! It’s crazy and shocking how small minded people are. Some can’t or don’t want to have any! It’s not rocket science 😮

[@JustChiVlog]

And you know children comes with a lot of responsibility that you must have to be prepared to face. I mean I have seen cats destroy a lovely relationship on tv. Because the man get to clean shit a lot because the woman is nagging him, you're not being supportive.. because of a cat 😂😂😂😂

[@lilli798]

​​@@toochukwuowoh606 you're actually very weird for this comment. It's the fact that you feel entitled enough to tell a stranger that you think it's time to have kids. Who are you to tell a person you don't know to have kids? You're a Nigerian so I'm not surprised at your lack of boundaries. You don't even know if they're ready for kids or not. Talmabout "if your parents thought this way they wouldn't have had you" . And that would have been very fine . It's not as if the kids that were not born are missing anything special. When you have to go as far as emotionally blackmailing people to have kids, you should know that there's something wrong.

[@factsandopinions577]

@@toochukwuowoh606 of course you are nigerian

[@zed5768]

Just live your lives. Having kids or not, your choice to make. I have learnt that if we make a right choice, we enjoy the success the most. If we make a wrong choice, we suffer the consequences the most. It's yours to decide. Pls yourselves, not others. In as much as you don't see yourselves in nearest future wishing you had kids earlier, just ride on. Blessings❤❤🎉🎉

[@viktoriiaukraine]

We are Nigerian 🇳🇬 Ukrainian 🇺🇦couple, Our story is different, you never know how your life might turn, we decided we were ready to have a child financially and mentally, but when war in Ukraine started we lost everything, just after leaving the country we discovered we are going to be parents, now our child is our joy and happiness and somehow he is helping to go through this rough time and pushing us to continue moving and living the new life that we didn’t even choose but was forced to. God bless you beautiful couple ❤️

[@lawreenmkado8307]

Sending love ❤❤❤❤

[@michealohunyon175]

This is soooo inspiring. God bless your family.

[@chantalgafan8502]

Sending ❤and hugs 🫂

[@ketlinelouis2669]

I am with you guys, good advice, now it's time go for the child and more now.

[@pusep132]

Y

[@SippiGirl_256]

People should mind their business when it comes to this topic.

[@0728brown]

I will never understand why people feel entitled to know this.

[@benjaminayemloharuna2772]

Pls, it's really annoying when they do. It's definitely not their business.

[@SippiGirl_256]

Men and women have all sorts of fertility related issues, financial issues, etc. It's just something where people need to shut their mouths.

[@SippiGirl_256]

I chose to not have kids. I love living my life freely without worrying about whether or not someday I'll have to choose to pay mortgage or feed my kid, you know. It's personal.

[@tendowinny1102]

If you have put your life out to the public eye,for everyone to mind and watch. What do you expect??? People will ask

[@kimmysserenity4693]

My husband and I decided that we wanted to be married two years and finish our house before we started to have kids. When we started to try I had three miscarriages it was something that we kept private. People keep asking every time they see us when we having kids it would eat at me and it send me into depression. One Mother’s Day they had me help giving out the gifts at church and I just breakdown. God finally bless us with a daughter and the journey was traumatic. I had to stitch my baby in so as not to have a fourth miscarriage. I flatlined after the surgery almost didn’t wake up and in the delivery room the nurse was paging the doctor and no one turned up so both of us delivered her and I got 42 stitches. My baby was in the nicu for one week with an infection in the navel. Now persons asking when I am giving her a sibling I am sick of it. I still have anxiety from my experience. People need to normalize staying out of people reproductive business.

[@ramoah300]

You and your family are in my prayers 🙏🏾

[@lounasampson1359]

I’m glad you made it through. God bless you and your family.

[@veronicaglouster1713]

you are also allow to cuss them out as well and tell them back off

[@diamondz4lfye313]

I agree. You never know what people are going through and asking them about why they haven’t had children or more children may definitely trigger ptsd, anxiety or depression. We have to be cautious of that.

[@veronicaglouster1713]

@@TriciaPerry-ef7bi yes.. this new age of sparing feeling and lying to persons who behave badly and letting them sit is is damaging to other. I have a lot of bad behaving christians in my life. Ams sick of you all

[@idailunga2346]

You’re right! People will always put pressure on you but will never help you financially. People don’t care about your struggles but like to criticize.

[@MsSmartiC]

Solid advice L&L

[@Wheezy62120]

That part!!! I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 years, and everyone is asking …. When is the wedding? When are the babies coming? We’re like Jeez. Can we decide when, what, where, and how ??? Give him a chance to ask me FIRST!!!Plus, I don’t hear any of our family or friends sending us financial assistant. 🙆🏽‍♀️😜😏 Like marriage and babies are stressful enough, and they both require a monetary foundation. When WE are ready we’ll definitely let everyone know

[@shielamajoriemusongeMD]

Thank you am here with 1 children these womb watchers keep asking for number to.. am like mind the business that pays u.. not a single 1 has ever offered any kind of help...it's not like I need it but the thought counts... nothing not even to check on the baby.

[@_trust9994]

@@shielamajoriemusongeMD Other than for medical reasons, women who don't want kids are selfish, Lets just call a spade a spade (Ohh I dont want to lose my shape, eww I dont want to wake up 02am changing diapers or breastfeeding, Ohh I dont want to deal with stress, Ohh I'm a career driven women ... etc).

[@ldenisedavis]

Amen to that!

[@Biddyyyy]

My husband and I have been married 7 years and no kids. I used to cry about it all the time because I felt I was supposed to being pressured by societal norms. Once I realized and accepted that it’s not up to me but the lord and that not having kids are okay too. I am no longer upset about it Plus I love my freedom❤

[@tuka24a]

I understand you. I always wanted to be a mum.Then I have been working hard to build my career and now I have a partner who is supportive.However, I am happy without babies and life is much easier. I am not sure if my partner is ready for a child. He is sooo selfish that I wonder if we would give up a bit from himself to care for another human being. I don’t want to be a full care parent like my mum was. She had a husband who was too busy drinking to look after their own child. My partner doesn’t drink but I am not sure if he will be ready.Babies are for life.😢

[@benban8055]

So say that you will concieve, believe it and DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS SUBJECT and it will happen. Matter of fact, you will be astonished at how instant it will be.

[@Biddyyyy]

@@tuka24a yes it’s a huge commitment and babies change everything. I always hope for the best though 🫶🏾

[@Biddyyyy]

@@benban8055 to be honest it would be a blessing yet terrifying to say the least lol

[@KingdomWithin7]

Damn when you said it wasn't up to you but the Lord's is amazing! Good on ya🙏🏼💯

[@mireillekwesele7928]

It's good to discuss kids before marriage. My husband and I dated for 3 yrs before marriage we used to discuss how many kids we will have and we agreed for me to stay home and raise the kids until the last one will go to school full time. That's what happened ecxately! As soon as we married we wanted kids right away😂 bcs we were both prepared mentally. God bless me with a fantastic husband this year 29 yrs together. Our baby is 22 yrs old. Marriage is beautiful if you find the right one. Thank you for this topic to educate young ones out there.

[@cattyreals572]

Congratulations 😊😊😊.. I pray nothing comes between you two❤❤

[@3dand2dartschannel11]

May God bless your family

[@chidiebere]

Thanks for sharing ❤🎉

[@Gigi-14]

Having children is an extremely serious decision. It changes your life forever and puts you in the position of providing for another’s safety and happiness. Take your time and do what makes you happy. Love you guys ❤

[@Jooniebug]

It's one of the most difficult decisions to make. Women don't have time like men.

[@TRACEYMACHIO_1]

@@Jooniebug I dont think it is. People just overthink things like wanting a perfect time, most times there isn’t that perfect time and when you think it’s perfect time you are old.

[@Jooniebug]

@TRACEY MACHIO I agree with you. There's no perfect time but I think people need to think and ensure parenthood is what they want. Then again she should be careful as a woman as we don't have that much time cos Al pacino will be a dad at 83 and Robert de Niro is a dad at 79

[@ogechicharis3926]

Totally agree with you

[@lenoreprovidence7720]

My thought process was always, we will never be “fully ready”. Also fertility at an older age is no walk in the park. It doesn’t get easier it gets harder. Also I had older parents and I wanted to be younger when my kids hit their 20’s…in my fifties, young enough to enjoy my child as they become men and women and young enough to run around with my grandchildren in a way I didn’t get to!with my kids cause my kids had to be cared by someone else will I worked my 9 to 5 job. My prayer is that when you decide the time is right you still can have them😊

[@lethaboitolo8936]

The truth is " only God knows better". If you decide to have kids early, you never rest because each child has their own challenges which subsequently come to you. You care for them till they are old enough. When you think you are done, then they have their own children, which is still a burden to you as a grand parent. The struggle continues and at some point when they get old, they leave you alone because they don't need you anymore. Depression, dementia kicks in. Its better to live your life the way it make sense to you than rely on other people. Go out, see the world. I salute Ling and Lamb, when the time is right, they will have children. Let's leave people and their choices alone. They are the once who understand their struggles.

[@Kims-dj8tl]

@@lethaboitolo8936 exactly!

[@BlessedLPT.]

Respectfully, your prayer will not get an amen 😊 we can see right through it.

[@ruthmuma8693]

Nothing is guaranteed. Happiness is far beyond what humans have defined it. To me, it's in Christ. Not kids, husband, jobs, parents, siblings,money. Nothing of the things I didn't bring to this world. I'm learning to live life with joy from within. Thank you for sharing ❤.

[@preciousfires5088]

"Nothing of the things I didn't bring to this world", it's in Christ. Perfectly said. I love this

[@accordingtothebiblewithl-nv1ku]

That's the Secret. Jesus is the key to happiness .

[@oreolubukola998]

Love this in particular.🙌🙇

[@AHarewood]

You guys have brought up so many valid points. There are so many grandparents raising their grandchildren because their children could not handle what they were not ready for!

[@iheomaeze5170]

God bless you for writing this. You're so right

[@mazzzzzz40]

Correct !

[@ericabelcher8760]

YES! And Aunties & Uncle's too! I've had my nephew since he was an infant & he's 12 now! Neither one of his parents are able to be involved in his life, so I had to step all the way up! Its been extremely difficult to say the least but I love him with everything I have! Im trying so hard to give him the very best!❤🙏

[@Gracednsaved]

@@ericabelcher8760 hmmm, so true. They call it family bonding and helping out but seriously, bottom line is pushing your responsibilities on others. Can't imagine foisting my kids on others.....

[@ericabelcher8760]

@Gracefully Saved True! It's been exhausting, honestly! But I'd rather have him than foster care! I'm not saying there aren't SOME good ppl in the system, but the statistics of the opposite are too high. But I definitely hear you, though! Smh

[@tammypdailey]

This was the most honest discussion regarding when to bring a child into the world. ❤❤❤

[@darrickwhite1986]

I love that you two are enjoying each other's company and relationship building before children.

[@charissebrown6079]

You both speak with great wisdom & maturity. ❤

[@shepherdmudimu6447]

Lamb is very philosophical and intelligent when not fooling around, it's a side of his I didn't know

[@Jayscomic]

Lamb is full of sheet. His wife is getting older and he is playing

[@Theheavenly1]

​@@Jayscomic shut up..

[@alicehaywood7763]

@@Jayscomic Do expand please...

[@trideanalenard7694]

I had kids 2 years after being married at age 21.. Here we are age 42 with a 21 year old girl and 18 year old boy with both my kids in college. Now at age 42 we are empty nesters living life with young adults kids who are my absolute joy. Talking with them everyday, helping them make decisions. Walking them through situations and seeing them flourish into adults is a DREAM COME TRUE. My husband and I wasnt rich. We was rich in love, care, nurturing and my kids fell perfectly into our lives. My only regret is not having more.

[@omohbhollah]

Well done 🙄

[@pa1361]

If you can, you’re young enough to. It’s genetic in my family and all came out fine

[@tanyalewinsky-lewis923]

42 is still young u CAN have more if u wish

[@ebimomilemi1450]

Yeah I agree with your choice, I am 50, i had 2 i wish i had more.

[@venusette]

Our hands are full with two… Wonder how we’d care for more 😂❤

[@reneeburchall9015]

People will always try to rush you into marriage, then when you’re married it’s when are you having a baby, you have a baby then it’s when you giving the child a brother or sister. You can’t win. Have kids when you’re ready and if you choose not to have kids, that’s fine. Own YOUR truth and people just need to mind their own business. Thanks for sharing with us.❤

[@julietkaunda9600]

You nailed it😂That's exactly what they say it never ends

[@Passion84GodAlways]

AMEN!

[@pamelawilliams6147]

Preach Renee, that's the truth and nothing but the truth. Ling and Lamb broke it down very nicely. I really love ❤ and admire this beautiful couple. 💑 May God continue to bless them. 🙌

[@HayWhy_Pappy]

You can't win. Holy crap. Thank you.

[@RandalCampbell-h6o]

I think four years is long enough having even one now won't do you guys no harm

[@otillearathanase33]

Spot on Ling and Lamb 👏🏾👏🏾. You have made some extremely valid points here. One that resonates with me is the insensitivity of some people in their asking. Its like you owe it to them to procreate. My husband and I have been married for almost 9 yrs and God has not yet blessed us with children...yet people still ask "when are you going to have a child"... I give the same answer as Ling 😂😂..we are each other's baby...so funny Ling and Lamb 😂. Blessings to you both, you will have a baby when you are ready🙏🏾❤️

[@FrankyDikey]

Like the scriptures say, "It's not good that the man should be a alone. I will make a mate suitable for him". Gen 2:18 This scripture from Genesis shows that the basic need of marriage is companionship. Children are the fruits.

[@diamond_kendra]

I have always loved this two but this convo literally made me love them more. People don’t talk about the pressure of needing to “have kids” when you are married. I would rather get to know and spend time with my husband to be honest. Then, if God let’s it happen, it happens and we are ready between us. The pressure is just not necessary. I STAND BEHIND THIS TOPIC CUZ THIS IS EXACTLY HOW ME AND MY FIANCÉ FEEL! Love you guys Ling &Lamb❤❤❤❤

[@Habibtay]

As much as i feel like it's none of anyone's business to meddle in your personal lives, this is a very much needed and necessary conversation to have. "Never make love to a girl you can not accept a child from" 👏🏾👏🏾 if only more fathers could teach that to their sons.

[@maapat1431]

I agree with you 💯 👍 👌..it's not taught hence the many single mothers in our communities

[@paulnwazor588]

Sage you're correct. That's also a huge part of it

[@HayWhy_Pappy]

​@ArcanesageAh. Nice response. I see how she try to push it to the man without being accountable. Damn.

[@tifanywilliams3654]

You guys hit the nail on the head. You have to get your foundation together first. My husband and I waited 8+ years before we had our daughter. It was the GREATEST decision we could have ever made for our family. Once you have a child, EVERYTHING changes.

[@tifanywilliams3654]

@@christopherl.2593 say it again for the people in the BACK!!!

[@_trust9994]

@@tifanywilliams3654 Other than for medical reasons, women who don't want kids are selfish, Lets just call a spade a spade (Ohh I dont want to lose my shape, eww I dont want to wake up 02am changing diapers or breastfeeding, Ohh I dont want to deal with stress, Ohh I'm a career driven women ... etc).

[@ilovesunflowersunny2098]

@@_trust9994 nothing wrong with being selfish. I can't believe you are trying to shame women by calling them selfish🤣 Always me first!😬 u sound dusty🤪

[@tedradxnn7872]

​​@@_trust9994 am a 10000% ok with being selfish and more women should be OK with that too...there's no way in hell imma wake up at 2 am to change a shitty diaper or worry about my figure because of a baby and if that makes me or any woman that decides to not have kids a bad person then so be it😊

[@solomonobihan9465]

If you grew up in Africa, where kids basically determine your standard of living in your old age, you would have very radically different view. But I understand where you are coming from, and the peculiarities of your environment. You would probably end up in a nursing home when you are old, with or without kids. So what's the point?

[@KatieM22]

I love that Lamb was essentially having a conversation with Ling, not us. He was looking straight at her the whole time.

[@dikeleditlou2763]

Lamb , for an African man i respect your vulnerability and also how much of a visionary you have been in building yourself up and to see how honest you are about waiting to have children. You did not allow yourself to be moved by outside pressure or ego. You are a darling and you and you wife are a blessing and such a joy to watch.

[@anneokpi3120]

You penned down my thoughts...for an African man to be this vulnerable is a rarity. He's a good man

[@monicamay2450]

I agree

[@mrymmusa8231]

Very true ….and what most African men don’t know is vulnerability commands more respect than just frowning face and bossing around…..just see how much the wife loves and respects him after been vulnerable

[@Enciab]

Unequivocal truth❤

[@vivicaanuforo4754]

Omo he is truly rare and humble. I thank God for sending him Ling too cos it could have ended up differently if she were a wrong and toxic woman. He is blessed

[@danielahiaba6748]

Ling and Lamb, thanks for this very important conversation. When i got married in 2016, me and my wife was determined to spend quality times together so that we can get to know each other and form the strongest bond of friendship, build our own business buy a property and then have at least 1 child. We had 2 beautiful sofa like yours. We finally had our only child in 2020 during Covid lockdown. We are so happy that we waited and build a strong relationship first and now we both have time for ourselves and our baby boy. Many people do not know about our goals, they criticize and pressure us but we just kept silent and live our lives on our own terms. My son travelled aboard an airplane when he was just 8months old but me his father boarded my first flight @ 23yrs of age. Guys do not repeat the mistakes of your parents. Love you guys. Keep these kind of conversations coming.♥♥♥♥♥

[@blogz589]

Huge respect for Lamb's perspective and choices. As a man coming from a relatable background I completely understand your choices and I pray that God will make it possible for you guys to set up and maintain a solid foundation to your liking, and in Gods time you will have all your hearts desires including all the children you want

[@octaviadickson3218]

Look at you both,it's all about love.Enjoy your marriage with or without children.❤

[@sanjapkoki]

My wife and I had same excuses when we were your age. Now we are in our 70s and it's our biggest regret. We always thought there'll be a better time but that time never came. She's now dying of cancer and her only wish is that of a child she never had. Goodluck to you both. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@csslkft6517]

So very sorry to hear

[@jewel-racquel]

😢

[@ibielaamaso3054]

So sorry to hear this. Sending love

[@LovelyQn]

😢

[@comfortadatang2594]

😢I pray for God’s healing hands upon your wife.

[@mst675]

Thank you guys SO MUCH for this conversation!!! As a teacher who has seen almost very form of dysfunction in families (which definitely affects the child's performance in school and in life) I truly wish ALL couples had this understanding and level of maturity before bringing little lives into this world God bless you both!! 🙏💯

[@brendabrenda4741]

The subject of having kids is a conversation ALL couples should discuss as intelligently and honestly as these two have! I greatly appreciate this video and the knowledge they share. Thank you, Ling & Lam, and best wishes for your continued success.

[@shalom744]

True. But it is scary to have that conversation.

[@siennamiller50]

I have so much respect for this couple and their transparency

[@angelathompson1733]

Thank you for sharing . My husband and I I waited 2 yrs after marriage and that was not long enough . I loved those 2 yrs spending time together but once the 3 kids came over the next 6 years , it was so hard because he didn’t change diapers. He didn’t feed any babies, and I got left a lot at home . Before I could pack a bag and just run with him.. this would’ve been a good video for me to see when I was younger. They’re all grown up and doing fine.

[@deannachristine845]

Loved every bit of this conversation. I'm 33 got married a year and half ago no children and neither one of us plan on having any for awhile. Its so important to have a strong marriage before bringing children in it because you will be tested. My mom had 3 kids thats including me and she has been a single mother her whole life neither one of my siblings or myself share the same father. Im the oldest so for me having children is a very stressful conversation because of what I've seen my mom and friends go through with men. Im happy just enjoying my marriage for a long while .

[@shericewright7762]

Yes so true

[@rayanderson1941]

Yes. And as they said, you have to get to know your partner first, before bringing another life in this world that you have to spend so much time with, and less time with getting to know your partner

[@tonyjeffers2606]

I Hope you have some eggs frozen #biological clock

[@deannachristine845]

@@tonyjeffers2606 if it's in the plans God will work it out. I'm not stressing it because I'm like Ling I don't have a huge desire to have children.

[@danieltob6362]

There is no difference between licking and leaking jare. Don't stress Nigerians o

[@smoochy2919]

Your reasons for waiting to start a family are so valid, and relevant. I did not have my son until I was 30 years old. I had been in my career for 10 years at that point. I was financially secure, and so was my husband. Even with all the financial security, health insurance, etc. We still struggled! We didn’t want our son with a babysitter or in daycare, therefore we had to change to opposite shifts to have someone home with him always. We literally handed him off to each other at work. Me a registered nurse working nights. My husband a physician’s assistant working during the day. It was not easy. My parents had 5 of us. We’re from 🇬🇾. My mom would literally have one of us and drop us off in Guyana with my grandparents, while they built a life for us in the US. When I was 10, they brought us from Guyana to permanently live in the US. We lived a good life as children. But, they worked hard to provide it. I can’t even imagine having so many kids in these times. Grandparents work. They have lives. Most don’t want to be babysitting grandchildren. Most can’t afford that luxury. Times are different now. Take your time. This is a lifetime commitment. My son is our only child. We didn’t want to do it again. People told us we were selfish for only having one child. But, we don’t care. Our son has the best of everything. We are content with having just one child. Do what makes sense to you. Disregard what people have to say.

[@ericabelcher8760]

Omg!! My family is from Guyana as well. My grandparents had 10 total & literally did the same as you mentioned! In the sense of trying to get a better life in the US. My grandparents brought half over here & then had to send for the other 5, once they could afford it. They were staying with different relatives or ppl they knew from church groups. Man the stories I heard growing up from my mother, Uncle's & aunts, its just sooo difficult knowing all the pain & trauma they experienced! I definitely understand what you're talking about! I rarely see Guyanese ppl on here! Thank you for sharing love! Praying for the very best for you & your family!❤🙏🇬🇾

[@theanswersisinsideu]

Mine did the same 8 children 🇬🇾

[@annettewilliams4681]

I’m happy for you..I have 1 daughter n she’s amazing.. I work 2 jobs to put her thru college and she always spoils me

[@ericabelcher8760]

@Annette Williams Thats really sweet love!❤️

[@ankank2990]

Amazing, I’m also from 🇬🇾 Im in my early 30s, divorced… people always asked why I don’t have kids but financially it is a struggle & things weren’t going well in my marriage with a cheating partner. God willing I hope I can have at least one some day.

[@justifiedcrown9669]

A lot of ladies that usually comment on their videos want this kind of marriage. The truth is none of them would have given him a chance like she did. He didn’t have a job, and was struggling. Most of you already met that great guy, but overlooked him. 🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️

[@sweetdivine2701]

True, but the problem is that most of our men when they make it. You become suddenly not their type, and they start to cheat because they can now afford more women . So sad.

[@dadakeshinro6749]

You're absolutely 💯 correct 👏. Most especially very many Blackwomen will passby Lamb.

[@lyricsoftheart]

@@dadakeshinro6749here we go with the black women this black woman that lol

[@nomcebomasuku8102]

It's deep you will never understand until you are on our shoes

[@SippiGirl_256]

@@lyricsoftheart always the one with no pic

[@csdcreations]

The beautiful thing for me is that y'all are on the same page. That alone is a blessing. I love the realness and the wisdom of your reasons, too. There's so much to raising a child! Mad respect for y'all!

[@shalom744]

They are lucky.

[@sambito702]

As a parent of two I can totally understand this. I also grew up with a grandmother who was overburdened with too many kids (15 due to DV). Out of all of these, my mom was the only one who went to college. Everyone else worked in factories or as maids and had children really young. I knew I wanted to follow in my moms footsteps to continue to build up our family and then... I got pregnant at 18. I was devastated since I had a 4.3 GPA and was Ivy League bound. But with hard work and a ton of support we still accomplished our goals (attorney and therapist) but 1- it took much longer 2- we had to work 10x harder with less rest 3- our child didn’t experience financial stability until he was about 5. We had the basics but were always struggling It would have been easier if we were established first.

[@24kchefkimmy43]

This conversation was sooooo needed, not about you both but in general. I wanted to comment right away but held back so I can get the whole video. I think you guys are so thoughtful of each other and your past experiences to consider what bringing a child into this world would mean. Not enough couples have these hard conversations. My mom had 6 kids and I love my siblings dearly but I watched my mom struggle immensely. And I wondered why any one would do that to themselves. Much love to you both for sharing ❤ and babies will come when the time is right. We will definitely be ready. 🤗

[@ScarLosBeautyandGaming]

I love this so much!! Girl I've had so many people ask me this question and I had to tell one person under of of my comments how insensitive it is to ask people that because like you said, what you HAVE been trying and can't or what if you were and lost it? People don't think about the possibilities. I still want to have one but on God's time. I've been through a lot (which you know!) And my biggest thing at this point in life is what both of you said, building together, enjoying being loved SAFELY and making sure that we are prepared properly. Thank you for sharing this part of your marriage. NOW PEOPLE CAN MIND THEIR BUSINESS! 🤣💕 Love y'all!

[@LingandLamb]

😂 👏

[@joyce3654]

Love this. It's good talk, we have people who go and have children and expect others to provide for them

[@gerics]

“Two People As ONE” got my attention and heart… But remember we must not financialize or monetize having babies as humans because Children bring their own glory and star into this world.

[@doriceossai6105]

You guys do what works for you. My husband and I waited 6 years before we had children. We really got to know each other well. So it's no ones business. Jesus is Real ❤️

[@landreadavis1517]

I had so much pressure on me in my 30’s to have kids. It would make me feel so bad. People never know what you are going thru in your life. Now that I’m older and I do have kids in my later life. I asked and prayed to patience and the tools to be a parent. Open my mind to understandings. It has been challenging and rewarding. Thank you for sharing your story. Ling and Lamb you guys are amazing. Huggie Huggies

[@shakiraebikam3010]

I'm married to an Igbo man. And his mindset is totally different. We didn't have our first child until 7 years after marriage. And that's because he didn't want to follow the norm of his culture by having children right away after marriage, he wanted to build himself so that when We both decided to have children, he wouldn't have to stress or worry too much about them. So please do what you guys feel is right and don't follow anyone else, When you guys are ready to have children do it on your terms not on anybody else's terms.❤❤❤

[@dutchigirl]

Whether or not you have children, or when or how many, is NOT of anybody's business. I consider that extremely rude to ask. Once a couple has one child, a week after childbirth people will pressure to 'start' a second child, because they say an only child will be lonely, then when you have three children, many will say stop etc etc. You can never please everybody, even they expect you to. You have a very balanced and wise view on this matter. Love you guys

[@adeolawalsh7240]

This is so true. I remembered having my 2nd and the nurse asked me when would you have your 3rd😐

[@DayoA1]

Yes, it is very rude! They are so polite for answering, I would not have!

[@lasoniamcfadden4951]

This conversation is so enlightening. I have four children with 2 fathers. My first I had as a child and not ready at all. The father walked out as soon as I said I'm pregnant. The other father we were not financially ready and still young but we tough it out together. Also split up. When my children had children I wish they would've been ready and not followed in my footsteps. I now have a great grandchild whose mom isn't ready either financially we the help of family she is making it. I wish I could've heard this when I was younger my mother tried to tell me about being ready to have sex. I thank you for this conversation and I pray someone get the message you are trying to put out. I love you guys so much❤❤❤❤

[@nikitee4535]

Each child has a different parent! So true 👍🏾. Love you guys ❤

[@xyPERSON]

Ling and Lamb you are both good people and when the time is right you will be good parents. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into making that decision. Children are a blessing but also a huge responsibility and not for everyone. You really did not even have to explain your reasoning for not having children yet but doing so shows your appreciation for your followers and subscribers.

[@TheMandy120180]

I am so impressed with how wise and self assure this was. As a single person without kids I truly truly appreciate you sharing this and speaking so eloquently. While I would like kids I am also ok without them for many reasons and it’s difficult for some people to understand that. Thank you for sharing

[@daniellehlebari9103]

You will think you don't need a child until you start looking for one. this is just nonsense excuse they are financially stable at this point, there is nothing more better than having children in your youth. Many years later they will come back here and say the worst decision we ever made was not having children.

[@livingkalimanjira1924]

You're right, guys. Bringing a life into this crazy world is a decision that shouldn't be made lightly or based of other people's expectations. It's just like marriage itself. Don't get married because everyone of your generation is doing it at a certain age. You have to be ready to want to get married and/or have kids. Thank you for sharing your perspective on this very important subject. Much love to both of you

[@tyara.collins]

With or without kids I will keep coming back to your channel! Honestly, I love kids, but I don’t want any. My bf and I have an 11 year age difference and his daughter is 19 so that has changed my mindset. I am 29 and I’m just like nope nope nope. Kids are absolutely beautiful but woo is it a sacrifice and commitment. You two are enjoying each other in your marriage and that’s important. If kids come, or not for you both you’re both extremely amazing people and I love how you both can sit down and openly talk about topics. Blessings to you both ❤

[@misswallis4050]

Lovely couple

[@tyara.collins]

@@misswallis4050 they could be mentors. I honestly believe this is how they are on and off camera. Their marriage is absolutely beautiful ❤

[@bettiesherry9508]

With or without babies you guys are just simply the best

[@optimalscore]

Better than all the rest! Sorry I couldn't help myself 😂

[@Gail-f1o]

I so enjoy your channel and content. Enjoy your life and each other first, the greater your understanding and commitment to each other the greater your impact on any child you will have, whether yours or someone else's. Continued blessings to you ❤

[@Apostylicpoet]

I’m 38, not married and want kids right away. However, the point you made about having a solid foundation with your spouse spoke to me the most! I used to say I want to enjoy my marriage before kids, which I still do, but getting on the same page with your partner is top tier! Thank you for this honest conversation. Y’all are so funny!

[@cumiletababes8347]

I'm 38 too. Growing up I ve always wished to enjoy my husband first before considering kids. So I totally agree with you lovely couple. Well well i'm yet to find him and once I do. I'm definitely having kids right away as our eggs don't give us the luxury of waiting till we are ready. Wishing you nothing but love and happiness ❤

[@cumiletababes8347]

Definitely no time to check time 😁 Its happening soon

[@janettejackson146]

Great content. So true but please don't wait until over 45 . Not fair to the child. When the kid is 20 you will be over 60. Not xool

[@cumiletababes8347]

@@janettejackson146 it will happen soon by God's Grace.

[@denisebentick8905]

This is between the two of you, do not let anyone make this decision for you or pressure you into making this decision

[@TeeNan-rw5nv]

OMG! These are the conversations that need to be had! Love you guys for this! These conversations would save a lot of heartbreak, divorce, and time wasted with a person who probably was so wrong / incompatible with you in the first place! We who have kids love our kids dearly but bringing a child into a messed up unstable situation is quite selfish! No one goes through life wanting to struggle everyday trying to make it or to make ends meet! I understand totally where you guys are coming from❤❤❤Thank you!

[@bossladybee8323]

You need to put this in an ebook. Cuz u said exactly what I was going to say. In fact I have an aunty who tells people to get kids as soon as they get married. And when u do, she comes back and say- oh my dear, one child ain’t a child. You need to have 2-3 just in case something happens to that one child 😮. Which I think is crazy!! For her to say such things. She’s insensitive. No one should be rush to have kids.

[@carolwhitevlogs]

❤❤

[@Mariekomax02]

I had a child when I was in college and working. When I say be careful who you have kids with… be careful!!!!!! I knew my child’s father since 5th grade. The person I thought I knew since childhood, today I can’t even face him and smile. Sadly…. I loveeee and would do anything for my child. Glad I only have 1 child. But it is HARD. Everyone’s experiences are different. And also me and him were together and lived together for some years but all of that went down the drain. Having a child will show people’s true colors that you were blinded by…

[@unique9719]

I love when adults take up important conversations like this☺️🤝. I really do appreciate this because I've always thought that having kids is something that should be carefully planned for and not something you just do, just because. Thank you Ling and Lamb. This somewhat healed my young soul✨😌🤍.

[@autoprincess7831]

Take your time and enjoy life you guys are strong together and when the time is right you will be great parents.

[@SheSoReRe]

NOT when the time is right they're telling you in your face THEY DINT WANT KIDS🤣

[@autoprincess7831]

You never can tell the choice is theirs lol

[@JoyAniedi]

When the time comes Kids will come They changes Extremely everything And it's so beautiful It's a gift from God Talk too much.

[@sabrinaerettes3837]

This video is much needed for our younger generation. I pray that it goes viral.🙏🏾 There is no doubt that God put you two together. Excellent message!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@lovelyresidor5388]

I am glad you are not only KZbinr, but a teaching life coaching. Thank you guys love you 🇭🇹

[@MrEvansjethro]

My wife and I have 5 kids. We both come from poor families. However, we're the most successful people in our families. We live in the suburbs and our 3 kids go to best schools. Moreover, we're the only ones in our families who have many kids. Financial success is a matter of mindset and determination. Unfortunately, with some people enough could never be enough until it's too late. Also, we should know that for woman, conception has an expiry date.

[@Neutrino783]

Thats right. cause when the kids are tricky if you try and time their entry into this world.

[@kirabogloria2187]

Thank you....u are totally ryt

[@Regentvoice24]

Absolutely and time flies and doesn’t wait for anyone 😂🤣😂.

[@karimballo6737]

Agree

[@ELmalano]

This is the best comment. But if there is fertility issues, God will have mercy if we believe.

[@anazodoifunanyac]

This is rather an educative video for everyone. One needs to be mentally, physically and psychologically ready for everything you do as a couple. Because rushing to have kids would just divert your attention from your spouse to your kids.

[@ziwagwatidzo9520]

" I dont want to repeat the mistakes of my parents" . True. Alot of people have inhaled childhood trauma. Its a genuine concern for those who think deeply

[@winienyaga4491]

Me too am 34 yrs financially stable but still afraid,my friends tell me you getting old,deep down I know what I went through in my childhood. So let them talk

[@ziwagwatidzo9520]

@@winienyaga4491 it can be a difficult process as a female. You may like the idea of parenthood then life fears sink In

[@phiaasupremacy]

Frr

[@ZainarDavid]

That's me ...I don't want to repeat my parents'mistakes

[@margaretmckenzie8426]

@@winienyaga4491therapy helps!

[@alinetwiringiyimana4567]

I love how you talk with each other and I support what you’re saying but people are the way they are (putting pressure on others,….),but I love how you handle that and your advices to others ❤

[@jenniferj1372]

Thank you all sooo much for having this discussion! My husband and I are still judged for not having children by now or you're going to be too old and all of that foolishness. People need to mind their business and let people make the decision to have children when they are ready whether they are young or older.

[@tasha3939]

💯

[@sharon6981]

I think people who have kids may be concerned out of love. Some people just go about it the wrong way. It’s physically harder to keep up with babies and young kids when you’re older. But at the same time, you’re not financially stable in your early 20s. It’s honestly a give and take. Do what works for you though.

[@jenniferj1372]

@sharon6981 There are people who are older and keep up with their children very well, sometimes better than a person in their 20s. There are other cultures that women are not judged if they have babies in their 40s or 50s. It's not even an issue. They support each other, which should be done here. Most importantly, God's plan for everyone's life is different. When it is to be, it will be. No one, even out of love, should question anyone about when they will have children. There may be issues or problems they don't want to discuss. They may not have any issues and don't feel like they owe anyone an explanation. It's a personal question and should not be asked.

[@vatiba87]

Im very happy you guys are having this conversation for people to understand. Ive been in the same boat for years of people asking me when will my husband and I will have kids. Little do they know weve been trying for years. Im Nigerian American and my hubby is Nigerian. The pressure i get from Nigerians is out of this world. Folks say the MOST insensitive comments to all the time to where ive cried so much that i have ran out of tears, ive even lost friendships because of this topic. Even leaving this comment scares me because i have mutual friends that are fans of u, i will never forget in as much as my hubby and i have been trying i had a friend tell me literally a little bit after dhe got married that she was pregnant, then her telling me that i should hurry up that i should be the one pregnant because i got married before her. If i show people how much my husband and I have spent on fertility doctors their mouths would drop and never ask agsin. Since seeing a therapist ive learned how to deal with this situation. Ive accepted that God will do things in his time. All i can do now is continue to have faith. I say all this to say, dont listen to what anyone says...do ehat is best for you. So if that means you are not quite ready yet that is completely fine. Im married 8 years and still get this insensitive question as if the people asking will be the ones taking care of my future children. I love u guys channel, stay blessed

[@Joyful802]

So sorry to hear about your experience. People can be very insensitive. They think having babies is as simple as having sex and it will happen instantly when that's not everyone's story. Infertility is more common than people realise. Standing in agreement with you for your miracle. I went through it and God came through. Its a painful and sensitive topic that many don't understand. I believe it will happen for you❤

[@ifeoluwakuyoro3250]

I'm happy you are getting help. People esp Nigerians can be very insensitive. The annoying thing is no matter how much you explain, they don't get it. They think they are just showing concern by asking. Its a huge mental strain. Just try to be happy and live a full life in christ. 5 months married and the pressure is getting worse. I think low key they think something is wrong with me/us.

[@vatiba87]

@@Joyful802 thank you I appreciate the kind words

[@vatiba87]

@@ifeoluwakuyoro3250 ignore them! Especially for your mental health. When u and hubby and God are ready or it's time then it will be. All the blessings to you

[@ifeoluwakuyoro3250]

@@vatiba87 thank you so much ma

[@beckeyspring3245]

These couple are the best couple they just gave me a boost of confidence that what I want isn't stupid. I love you both alot and I pray the Lord keeps and strengthen you both. You two are amazing thanks for being real .

[@georgearieldreams-king3186]

You guys strike all the right notes and a whole lot of people lack this critical thinking, people just go with what everyone is doing and don't take into consideration the consequences. That's one of the problem with the world .

[@agarthasharp530]

I just love the two of you ❤❤

[@cece179-p7l]

Well said!

[@abbyo4632]

I wholeheartedly support this!!!! Many people have kids just because that’s what’s expected of them after marriage!! Some people can’t even provide for their own selves yet they go ahead and have kids

[@shakiracharriez9811]

Ling and Lamb thank you for this conversation. You made a lot of good key points. Don’t rush or be pressured until you are ready. Enjoy you life experiences and adventures.

[@happycutebox]

All I can say is Amen! So happy you guys talked about this.❤

[@montannah7378]

I've learned a lot today from you guys, and you've opened my mind not only in having children but also to look deeper into myself how I want to prepare my life for my future kids. I know you guys will be a great parents one day. Thank you!!

[@clairedavis8564]

Omg, whatever works for you❤Children have also been known to destroy relationships. Both people have to be utterly mature, willing and ready. Don’t rush it guys.

[@BeKind2526]

Let’s normalize not asking couples this question. Mainly, because it’s no one’s business and the answer has absolutely no impact on anyone else’s life! I admire you two for being aligned in your stance. That’s part of what makes you two great for one another! I’m two years in and as someone who desperately wanted children but can’t have them, it’s infuriating and heartbreaking to be asked. I pray you two continue to seek Gods direction for your life. Keep living and loving on your terms! 💕💕💕

[@fionay2014]

Exactly

[@MsV22much]

I'm proud of you guys for making mature decisions for yourselves and for any children who you may choose to have. That speaks to who you really are and what kind of future your child may have. Most children are brought into a world where they were not prepared for. What kind of foundation would that create:instability, financially, physically, and emotionally. I'm one of eight children and none of us were wanted, needed, or appreciated. When or if the circumstances are right for both of you, then that little person will have the best life ever. May I also add that children feel it when they are not loved, protected, and wanted. When parents selflessly decide to bring a child into a relationship that is already stressed and strained, the child feels that they are a burden to you. Then, we repeat that cycle generation after generation. Children demand every bit of your time, attention and energy. When a parent is ready for the responsibility that should proceed a child, then all in the family will flourish and prosper together. 😊

[@kgabophalatsi4507]

I loved this chat, as quoted from a movie, 'having a baby is like getting a face Tatoo, you got to be committed.' I always wanted to be a Mom, I dreamt about it before I thought about work, marriage or even nice things, lol, and my dreams came true and I am so happy. But you have to want to have kids, the one thing I regret is not being prepared emotionally and financially. If you think people are intrusive now about when you should have kids, it becomes 10 times worse after you have kids... Wow everyone has an opinion but bringing a life into your life is so valuable. People make is if, having a child is like buying a car and that once you get one it comes with a service plan. No, everything changes after a baby and it's good to wait and also decide if you want kids, your dreams and visions are your baby, and they are as much work and they stay with you forever. So all props to you, you guys are inspiring and I would share this with kids and friends ❤.

[@NaanorkorIris]

these are the kinds of lessons we should be taught in schools, or better still parents should talk to their kids about because seriously, you don't know what you get yourself into until you have a little human being completely dependent on you. Motherhood for me is a learning curve every day. No one prepared me for this and I love these kids, I keep praying every day for strength to do well as a mother. PS. The struggles I went through, almost losing my life just so I can have a baby is a story for another day. But God is good. Take your time Ling and Lamb, DO YOU. lOVE YOU BOTH.

[@rayanderson1941]

Sorry about that. But can you just imagine a lady losing her life to bring a baby in this world, just because she was pressured to do it? I wonder if the one or ones that pressured to do it, might feel guilty.

[@Abenanaful]

God bless you

[@Bravebeauty22]

I’ve been married for 5 years and this is all we’re asked. We’ve taken time to get to know each other, travel and work on career goals. We want to create a foundation before bringing children into the world. People seem to not understand that.

[@triche97]

You guys are the most sensible for today's time. Thank you for sharing & vulnerability ❤❤

[@lesaatuatasi6267]

Always knew Lamb was smarter than your videos put off but to hear you guys talk about something that is so important to your lives is mad respectful! I have a whole new respect for ya'll. Just wish I had the same approach but, 6 beautiful kids later and a great career I can't complain. I wish the best for you both! 🤙🤙

[@VW777]

Which shows having children doesn't stop anyone from having a career or success. In your older years you will be blessed surrounded by your family 😊

[@Msharve]

You owe know one an explanation. Enjoy each other as long as you like. Children will come when and if the two of you decide to have them. Continued Blesssings❤

[@MsMarmolade]

Oh my God, the reasons you guys gave for waiting are solid gold. I wish I had thought of this before I’d had kids. What a difference it would have made.

[@adenikeosesina3426]

It might not work for you.Just thank God for your life.

[@nnamaniruth4756]

Exactly!

[@LJCZR]

I love them so much. Lamb amazing with ur self awareness. As a mom. I love this answer so much. We’re breaking generational curses. We have to stop pushing the narrative of marriage means children. ❤️ blessing to you both.

[@dstreet43]

Amen

[@coka306]

That was a great conversation. Being a foreigner, married with no kids. My husband and I get a lot of questions.

[@veckylin9344]

I love you guys for putting out this video. I’m not even married and people are already putting so much pressure on me to have kids early when I’m married and I’m not even in my 30s yet. Can’t even begin to imagine the pressure people older than me are experiencing.

[@loratotv4960]

Don't mind them, darling.

[@FrankyDikey]

Come make we see each other. I won't rush you 🙂🙂

[@comfortade6348]

I don't just understand people's mindset they just see women as baby factory they don't care if your health can handle it or if you are psychologically and financially ready to have kids and if you don't want kids it is no one's business most of them brag about the numbers of kids they have but most of them and their kids live miserably in poverty and unhappiness no one should be pressured to do anything know your worth as a woman don't be a puppet to nobody whether in your 20's 30's whatever age live it happily with no stress don't be pressured to do anything live your best life

[@temidayo7784]

Lmao😄

[@thecrystallockett]

This is awesome. I've NEVER heard a man speak so consciously about their future. Honestly, not everyone wants to have kids, and that's OK. Don't feel pressured to have kids, especially if you feel it's not for you. Kids are a LOT whether you have a village or not

[@blackrose8643]

Most sensible young couple I've ever seen. Best wishes to you both.

[@Godisable760]

I really do love your openness and thought process. I wished I had heard all these before but I am thankful I did now. Thanks to all the beautiful comments❤

[@safeiaalareefi2173]

Lamb is so wise and the way he thinks is the right way for someone knew his past and doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes.

[@porhyme]

Love this conversation, because I have to agree that "spiritually, mentally, financially especially were key for me before even considering starting a family" I believe those are foundational, or at least be working on them, like you all. I wanted to be in a place that I can add value to my children, and it is God's will for my husband and I. My husband and I have been together 11yrs, married 7, and we just had our first child. People think that they get to decide, for couples, and it is not about them, but the couple and God's will. I bless you both, and when God is ready you will be fruitful and multiply. I absolutely love your Chanel keep being a blessing.

[@agnesopara8865]

Proud of you guys for directing your own course in life. It's important. You guys rock

[@creolalanier4559]

Don’t rush in having children useless you are ready. Y’all are on the right path. ❤

[@Rlene11]

Thank You for being so genuine and informative. Not everyone in your age category takes time to reflect and reassess their life/Journey and ask themselves these difficult question, “are we ready for a child?” It also speaks in high volume that as a couple, in this relationship there is Commitment, Compassion, Empathy, Consideration and above all,, Love. You are both young, Beautiful and must say also Wise. I think the day the both of you decide to become parents you will well equipped and ready. Many Blessed to the both of you and keep up the awesome videos. 🙏🦋🥰

[@adesholz6127]

For someone who is married for 16years now. Amazing conversation and advise any day. Thanks to you both.

[@Realitvluvr]

#1 That is between the husband and wife. You do it when you're both ready. Sounds like you have a great plan. #2 Enjoy time with each other first. This is just the beginning, children will be another great chapter when you're ready. Thanks for sharing your truth. 😊

[@djg3375]

I am so proud and happy you are sharing your perspective. Society will have you doing things you are not positioned, ready and should not do! Don't bow to the pressure of society. They will have you messed up. Many of us don't know who we are. We are in an identity crises because we live life through social media. PLEASE, get a mentor, counselor, someone who lives what they say. It should line up. Someone who can help you navigate, learn and grown through your journey! Learn yourself first, do for yourself first, respect yourself first. Love yourself first! Love y'all

[@mswondr]

Whew!! Thanks for clearing that up. Because you guys are on such a world wide platform people feel entitled to such private information. I’m glad you guys are being reasonable/responsible in your decision to bring kids into your life. Believe it or not it’s okay to not want kids or not be ready. God Bless you both ;you’re normal. ❤

[@danaitbri605]

Dear Ling and Liam, I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt admiration and love for the incredible work you both do as KZbinrs. The passion and intelligence you bring to your content is truly inspiring, and it never fails to leave a lasting impact on me. What sets you apart, in my eyes, is not just your intelligence but also your unwavering faith and the fact that you are a God-fearing couple. This aspect of your lives shines through in everything you do, and it's a beautiful reminder of the power of faith and the values we should all aspire to live by. When I tune in to your videos, I feel like I'm stepping into a sanctuary of wisdom, laughter, and inspiration. The way you both openly share your experiences, thoughts, and advice makes me feel like I have two incredible siblings I can turn to whenever I need support or just want to spend time with kindred spirits. The impact you have on your viewers goes beyond entertainment. You've created a genuine connection that fosters a sense of belonging and support. Please know that you have a devoted fan and supporter here, cheering you on every step of the way. Keep illuminating our lives with your love, wisdom, and inspiring content. You are not just KZbinrs I admire; you have become like beloved older siblings, providing guidance and filling my days with laughter, wisdom, and inspiration. Much Love and respect

[@CVClothiers]

Absolutely Amazing Please Share with everyone you know Big Papa ❤️

[@lumkelydianne3652]

I totally agree. I'm a strong fan too ❤

[@mrivera7696]

What a beautiful message!

[@latifaa.s2215]

Aptly said!!💫💙

[@nonyeobiorah8702]

It's good for u guys to discuss this. It makes so much clear and mature sense, thank you.

[@Jana-vj3vf]

I was in a relationship for 7 yrs before deciding to have a child. I had that child at 28 did not regret it because I was financially stable to care for my child. I enjoyed myself. When the child come along I put myself on hold for him to have my undivided attention.

[@selmaceline716]

🎉Nice one. I had mine @26 n offcourse she is enjoying all the good things she deserve n my attentn. Now that i m 32 my plan was to finish giving birth atleast by 35 ,but i got to travel around the world and stll 've to find a man for marriage which i think is not anytime soon. Soo i m taking my time😂,

[@Princess-x]

Having a child is a very very serious! It is permanent, you cannot return the child if you end up regretting it. You must weigh the pros and cons and think about it over and over. My baby is 3 weeks old and it is hard, even for people who planned for it and are financially/mentally stable like me and my husband 😅

[@BajanDanni]

I appreciate this conversation happening in a public forum. People would assume so much about your journey but a video like this sheds light on how similar 'youtubers' are to you and me.