Why we're confused about consent-rewriting our stories of seduction | Michele Meek | TEDxProvidence

When it comes to sexual consent, we advocate that “no means no” and “yes means yes” to prevent sexual assault. Yet, the seduction stories we see and share often depict no as meaning “maybe” or “try harder.” In this talk, Michele Meek shows how moments that blur consent with coercion often go by without our notice or comment, yet they are actually teaching us and our children about consent. She calls for us to pay attention to the seduction stories we share so that we can start to rewrite them. Dr. Michele Meek is a Providence-based writer, filmmaker, and Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at Bridgewater State University. Her recent scholarly publications focus on “consent puzzles,” or ethically and aesthetically ambiguous depictions of sexual consent, and she recently published an edited compilation "Independent Female Filmmakers: A Chronicle through Interviews, Profiles, and Manifestos" with Routledge. She has written and directed several award-winning short films, and she is the founder of NewEnglandFilm.com. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@rachelcastillo9035]

If a woman or any person says they don’t want to, or looks uncomfortable, stop. Don’t try again. Don’t lie or manipulate. Just stop.

[@serenityheart4368]

I love the part you wrote about people think consent is "try harder."

[@tashawilliams8093]

I told friends of mine that it doesn't matter if it's the beginning, middle, or end you better stop if she says stop.

[@Chickenpesto2468]

obivously

[@rachelleadams8820]

@@Chickenpesto2468 in theory but not reality or we wouldn't need Ted Talks such as this.

[@ThePermanentmagenta]

Brilliant. Thank you for pointing us in the direction of choosing our narratives and finding new ones.

[@denniswaweru9191]

I am doing an educational research on the field of consent and thank you for guiding me here

[@luisandrade2254]

Is there a field of consent 😂😂😂 god seriously

[@elliemichel7560]

Thank you for this.

[@x2x538]

Not all behavior is learned.

[@tdesq.2463]

Very Good.

[@47moris]

以林于仙之名翻好 Why we're confused about consent-rewriting our stories of seduction 感謝譯者 Zoe Walmsley 接受我的邀請做出傑出的字幕翻譯 踏在于仙的鮮血上 台灣人才有機會打開一扇窗看看 知道伊藤詩織也在對日本人教育的性同意權是什麼 現在的台灣法官很誇張的 被性侵後還能自行走入醫院就不算性侵 台灣的下一代被這些判決資訊影響 都沒辦法有正確的觀念了 台灣社會的改善真的很慢 某些台灣男人思維只會跟著落後的台灣性侵法律跑，英文也不好，一輩子思想不開都沒有見識 在台灣落伍思維的立委和法官還沒退休之前 年輕人能進步到哪裡 那就看他們的造化了

[@quietgirlinthecorner3684]

Now, I am in trauma. Will I ever get a good man😞😞😖😖

[@burny6666]

I'm a male, and I'm also in trauma. For a male, it's impossible to have consent from a women.

[@burny6666]

Also, stop friend zoning the good guys and start giving them your consent. Good men asks for consent.

[@robertbeurre1825]

@@burny6666 the “nice guys” don’t tend to be as nice as they seem. She can give consent to whoever she wants to

[@Andrewjc222]

Hope you find the person that brings you every happiness

[@quietgirlinthecorner3684]

@@Andrewjc222 thanks 🌹🙏, i met one guy 4 months back... I left social media from that time, i understood i was so stringent about my view point on having a partner. Now, it feels like a good life. And good man exists🙂

[@michaelmorse4444]

The body is one thing. The mind is another. It's horrible.

[@lovely1641]

I think we're trying too hard to categorize every interaction with others and label it that it stops being organic such that consent somehow becomes complex

[@erinarie4070]

It was always complex. We're just recognizing it now because so many people have been hurt by the "organic" way of doing things. Nothing has changed about the complexity, we're just finally talking about it.

[@lillygeorge5008]

@@erinarie4070 thank you.

[@aob6033]

consent can actually be really hot. Asking your partner "do you like this? do you want this?" and engaging in a conversation can be very exciting. We really need to reframe this idea that communication somehow makes it lame or boring.

[@virgodem]

@@erinarie4070 They weren't always hurt by the organic way of doing things. They adapted and got used to it. They're only getting hurt by it now because of how mainstream consent is as a moral foundation.

[@erinarie4070]

@@virgodem This is not correct. We were always hurt by it we just didn’t have the language to express it as well AND were told to “get over it” or “it’s not a big deal.” People were definitely, definitely hurt by it.

[@Chickenpesto2468]

but women glorifiy that movir which is crazy

[@IntoTheOutside000]

Knowing how many cases are unreported goes against the very definition of the word "unreported". If you know about it then it was reported...

[@burny6666]

As a 38 year old men, that's why I quit dating. It's impossible to have consent from a women.

[@Andrea-rj7lp]

If you think that getting consent is impossible, then you are right, you should quit dating forever.

[@thereisnospoon5782]

Getting consent is not the problem, the problem is when the woman withdraws her consent a day or two later!

[@makaradinh1142]

First watching😊

[@Narut0Namikaze]

Do we forget that these romantic novels as 50 shades are mainly for WOMEN? And appeal to women !

[@Friendly_Neigborhood_Astolfo]

How so?

[@NaNa-re3wc]

There’s a difference between a fantasy book and reality. Women reading those books likely know that. I’m sure men okay violent video games and can tell the difference.

[@Narut0Namikaze]

@@NaNa-re3wc Of course they know its fantasy , my point is that this thing has been romanticized. I came abit too aggressive on my comment too, sorry .

[@StuntDill]

plz say hello i m lonely

[@inkeduchiha851]

Hey buddy!!🙏

[@tahlia6880]

wassup

[@lorenaursula5931]

hi I hope you're doing well sending love

[@robertbeurre1825]

Hello!

[@itninvestigate]

Hello!