Why we were taught to STAY SMALL.

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Candace van Dell

Candace van Dell

Күн бұрын

#highlysensitivepeople #innerwork #healing
Why we are taught to STAY SMALL
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Пікірлер: 107
@phoenixbg2096
@phoenixbg2096 3 жыл бұрын
“If i own my truth, I will be abandoned by toxic people”, good one!
@amandakropen3273
@amandakropen3273 3 жыл бұрын
True! Get ready for the silent treatment because you dared to speak the truth!
@paul8731
@paul8731 Жыл бұрын
❤️ OMG I've been staying small for safety. I also fear living in my power will push others away. But I guess it's the same, it'll push toxic people away.
@sarahcouture24
@sarahcouture24 3 жыл бұрын
This is such a helpful message. Reframe your perception of what’s going on in the event that some faulty people invalidate your truth. We need to do this in order to make our interpretation of the situation more closely reflect REALITY lol. An experience of Invalidation is not indicative that there is a problem with you or your truth. Invalidation is simply an expected response from folks who reveal themselves to be faulty in some way. and this is how you will know who the faulty people are, this is how they identify themselves to you lol. Makes total sense!
@avaceleste
@avaceleste 3 жыл бұрын
If I own my truth, I’ll be abandoned… by toxic people 💥 💥💥
@harleyhearse
@harleyhearse 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Candace. Finally after 46 years of enabling & caretaking a toxic disabled single Mom who was a very Malignant Narcissist (since I was 9 years old)who raised me & my malignant NPD brother I found my power. I buried her a month agoI(complications from a lifetime of obesity), and did the Eulogy at her funeral. Oh yes, I learned all this in the last year as a result of my Covert Narcissist Wifes final discard of me (10 years wasted on her). My wife has done her best to destroy me, financially I have to hand my retirement savings to her to get away... and I will....gladly... I'd rather be broke & happy than to live another minute like that again. Satan is very active in trying to keep my powerdown... Karma will find them all....
@Angell_Lee
@Angell_Lee 3 жыл бұрын
You are a blessing to the universe, thank you so much Candace!
@13m0ngra5s
@13m0ngra5s 3 жыл бұрын
wow the reframe is one of the most powerful things I’ve heard in a long time!
@prairie_rose
@prairie_rose 3 жыл бұрын
Wow, If I am in my power wounded people will be jealous of me. We should just shine. I love this video.
@innervision97
@innervision97 3 жыл бұрын
Candice. I do this so much. I’m a large man and when I do this for protection, I get the opposite result. It’s really interesting how the collective experiences insights at the same time. Thank you for sharing this information!
@lynettegardner7525
@lynettegardner7525 6 ай бұрын
Thank you! I happen to love my own shine, and am learning to ignore those who don’t care for it.
@cynthiagallentinehowell391
@cynthiagallentinehowell391 2 жыл бұрын
Awesome video! Just what I needed at this time-was coming to this on my own but you validated everything!! Love that-freedom not to be responsible for making sure everyone else is happy in order for us to feel safe! We are never safe with unsafe people…it is an illusion-so we need to go big and change the company we keep so we all can shine! Thank you Candace!
@92martymar
@92martymar 3 жыл бұрын
OMG Perfect Timing! Literally had to fire a client recently and rebrand myself in my Truth with Boundaries!
@scottcooper8942
@scottcooper8942 3 жыл бұрын
I believe in the quote be who you are and say how you feel because the ones that mind don't matter and the ones that matter don't mind. So I speak my truth and ill face the consequences there's millions of people in the world not everyone is going to reject me.
@creativebabe7184
@creativebabe7184 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like I was meant to see this video , a week ago I wrote down “God made this for you” and then to hear you say that at the end gave me chills! Wonderful message like always!!
@casperinsight3524
@casperinsight3524 3 жыл бұрын
Luv the empowering reframe 😎😘 You will only find your purpose when you risk being seen when you're most uncomfortable 💥 truthbomb You must risk stepping outside your comfort zone to be seen Being confidently vulnerable to your authenticity
@selah7702
@selah7702 3 жыл бұрын
You don’t even know that it’s WORD FOR WORD What I told my therapist this very day…i can’t speak up bc if I am me I will be rejected… bless you for addressing this topic.. hoping for more on this!
@drewmcgrath2450
@drewmcgrath2450 3 жыл бұрын
Too often your stories sound like my own. So glad to hear you take on how to move forward despite the wreckage.
@TwoFuzzies
@TwoFuzzies Жыл бұрын
Candace is the best! ❤
@ValentinaBeatrizSepulveda
@ValentinaBeatrizSepulveda 2 жыл бұрын
I love you so much, you have been so helpful to me for the past three years, in the midst of my saturn return. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
@Gloroxsocks
@Gloroxsocks 3 жыл бұрын
THANK YOUU
@mortyb6403
@mortyb6403 2 жыл бұрын
This is the best video ever and is totally what i need help with...looking to other ppl to validate me. Thanks so much for this video!!🥰🥰🥰 i have watched it many times.
@vetiarvind
@vetiarvind 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks this confirms that my rejection of a toxic uncle who used to mentor me once upon a time was the right thing. He kept acting hostile to me despite me being kind to him for a long time. After that I realized he was envious of my freedom.
@chestertiger
@chestertiger 3 жыл бұрын
I really loved the reframing aspect. Something that I was never taught. Thanks
@marquisstarks9471
@marquisstarks9471 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Candace. I needed that. Namaste.
@maijarantalart
@maijarantalart 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@jyotivyas9286
@jyotivyas9286 3 жыл бұрын
So I have to Train Myself in Freedom.... 👍🏼✌🏼😀😘😘It was my Conditioning ✌🏼🔥👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👌🏼👌🏼😀😇🤣😳😳and I have To De- Condition Myself🌹🌹🌹🐥🐦🐥🦅🦅🦅🦅🕉️🙏🏻Hari Om Tatsatt 🕉️🙏🏻
@jyotivyas9286
@jyotivyas9286 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Dear Candace ✌🏼🔥❤️😀🕉️🙏🏻 The One who are not Responsible 👍🏼project their shame 👍🏼✌🏼 ❤️❤️❤️👌🏼🌾😌💯🚩💐✋🏼✌🏼👍🏼🙏🏻🕉️Hare Namaste Hare Namah::🕉️🙏🏻
@BrandonEllis777
@BrandonEllis777 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much ! Made my life brighter today !
@nthabeey3267
@nthabeey3267 3 жыл бұрын
Candace. Thank you. I love you🥺🥺🥺🥺💚
@gabrielabednarowicz9110
@gabrielabednarowicz9110 3 жыл бұрын
Awesome. Thank you. Much love
@VanguardOfLight
@VanguardOfLight 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful message!
@timohaikarainen3957
@timohaikarainen3957 3 жыл бұрын
You pretty much just outlined the core Finnish culture there
@Artemis583
@Artemis583 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, this playing small feeling was totally popping back up this week. "Be the change by being the example". 💜
@tralala88
@tralala88 3 жыл бұрын
Such an important message. Thank you!
@angelicagabrieli7169
@angelicagabrieli7169 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Candace! You're so good!!
@radumataca1342
@radumataca1342 3 жыл бұрын
Oh for sure i have this, to the level where i was 13, and conciously decided to self deprecate, sabotage and over indulgence. Even around 8 years old, i would verbally say i understood i was stupid, wrong, idiot, to show i understood and i belittled myself to be safe from parents. It was related to my homework, and to this 32yr days, i am behaviorly, physically, emotionally, cognitively affected deeply. I did succeed in getting a Bachelors' in Psychology though. Very hard, but we can do hard stuff! I can tell you my radar is overused, for toxic people, it is so full frontal, there is no missing it. 😄
@bree9019
@bree9019 3 жыл бұрын
really great video. still though, how you overcome the fear of being in your light? i feel like i am really scared to step into my light? i feel like all of the world will turn on against me, like it is like this unsafe. i know that there out there a big group of people who are untoxic, but still it seems that all of my sorounding is full of toxicisity. even if it's not really like this, but it feels like literal death to me, if i step into my light. i care to much how people persive me, my image. but because of that i stay like a white box, no personality, non of expresion. and my mom also, she wants for me to stay small, because she is scared of what people will think of me and through that will think of her. and my mom is the only person who is the most close to me, the person i feel most comfortable with, and open with. and i feel that her fears really effect me, and block me. but because she is so important for me, i don't want to give her up. but i feel if i took some space from her, then i will be less blocked. idk...
@angeltener4561
@angeltener4561 3 жыл бұрын
Right on as usual Candace.. your authenticity shines in this video.
@manicmogulmedia7234
@manicmogulmedia7234 3 жыл бұрын
You’re amazing and I thank you for this.
@aml8760
@aml8760 3 жыл бұрын
Brilliant. My parent always accused me of lying too much but I never felt safe enough to tell my truth. Its been a rough road
@GuitarAtWork
@GuitarAtWork 3 жыл бұрын
Super! Thank you Candace
@reneeh5333
@reneeh5333 3 жыл бұрын
Buh-rilliant. Love it, needed this one. ❤️
@SuperCodytyler
@SuperCodytyler 3 жыл бұрын
This has been me my whole life minus some adult years… what I want to know is if our mother or brothers etc are asking why we don’t speak as much or are distant we can’t tell them because there toxic lol they’ll just gaslight smh… I ask because they are already giving a me a hard time as I’m taking up for myself… I’m in the realization that my family is extremely toxic and have held me back emotionally unknowingly for years 😩…
@rmcd823
@rmcd823 3 жыл бұрын
I always had the opposite problem: how to develop faster. Never noticed anyone or situation wanting to keep me small.
@susana2794
@susana2794 3 жыл бұрын
This is KEY Candace!! Love you
@loveasmr1636
@loveasmr1636 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you !
@SuperCodytyler
@SuperCodytyler 3 жыл бұрын
This is such a divine help man this has been something I’ve struggled with within my family between myself me my mom be sibling . Thank you for your gifts
@topspin4hand
@topspin4hand 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you. Great video.
@bodymindsoul60
@bodymindsoul60 3 жыл бұрын
SPOT On, thank You Candace for helping me realize these truths and changing my life❣️🤩❣️
@larrybeffa4377
@larrybeffa4377 3 жыл бұрын
Hello Annie
@bealambwouldya
@bealambwouldya 2 жыл бұрын
😭this whole week I’m going through a lot & my inner child is scared 🥹she’s in a room rn sitting on the floor crying like in a fetal position. 😔🥹I’m taking a leap of faith & im so scared. None of my family has told me I can do this but I know I don’t need that validation. I know I can but there’s that self doubt etc! That comes in but I asked for what I wanted. And it’s like the abandonment 🥺😭it’s like she’s afraid to go out the door or I am 🥺
@devonslife7970
@devonslife7970 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this I get it now❤️❤️
@michellegrice3926
@michellegrice3926 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Candace. As a child, when I expressed myself in any way, my mother would feel threatened and shut me down. And by the way, I think you look fabulous in that light blue top!
@considerthisart762
@considerthisart762 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@Ibetala
@Ibetala 3 жыл бұрын
You are changing my life with your words. This is jaw dropping and spot on for me. Thank you for enlightening us all out here. I know I need to hear this now more than ever. SUBSCRIBED!!!
@jasminfromgermany7960
@jasminfromgermany7960 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much that Video is so helpful.
@kneesoxjonze806
@kneesoxjonze806 3 жыл бұрын
Most excellent 👌, thank you 😊
@a_womans_intuition7195
@a_womans_intuition7195 3 жыл бұрын
This is such a good explanation..wow
@YGabi333
@YGabi333 3 жыл бұрын
I really needed this! Thank you for sharing🙏🏾❤
@khankhalifa8555
@khankhalifa8555 3 жыл бұрын
Ahh I feel so heard here ! Love your work 🙏🏻
@aneczi
@aneczi 3 жыл бұрын
I loooved this!
@monicaespinoza1806
@monicaespinoza1806 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Candace for this video. This helped me to under myself more ❤️❤️
@katymorianos6364
@katymorianos6364 3 жыл бұрын
Preach sister🙌😊 I loved this! So true.. but not so easy to apply. Life is a work in progress 💖
@danielajauregui7779
@danielajauregui7779 3 жыл бұрын
Thank u for bringing up this topic ♡
@GullerudGallery
@GullerudGallery 3 жыл бұрын
Even toxic corporate templates can be toxic. (Mirroring dysfunctional families!)
@vanyastefanova3615
@vanyastefanova3615 3 жыл бұрын
So on time, love u ❤️
@SarahKartika
@SarahKartika 3 жыл бұрын
This is so valuable, thank you! ❤️
@adair6633
@adair6633 3 жыл бұрын
I love this! Thank you Candace 💖
@mariabogh
@mariabogh 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you sooo much for this 💜❤️ Needed to hear this today 🙏😍
@larrybeffa4377
@larrybeffa4377 3 жыл бұрын
Hi Maria
@chanelgrant595
@chanelgrant595 3 жыл бұрын
This was great, thank you❣️
@craigen01
@craigen01 3 жыл бұрын
Great information. Thanks for the video! This seems to be happening on a mass scale with the situation in our world at the moment! Unfortunately people seem to disregard these dynamics when an element such as a virus is involved. Maybe it is just a coincidence that this situation highlights so much of our wounding that is in great need of attention and healing. Or maybe it perfectly highlights the metaphysical connection between health, emotions, beliefs and relationships. ;)
@jaymedina7695
@jaymedina7695 3 жыл бұрын
My mom is a spirtial narcissist and im working on my GED because I want be a couslior one day and she told my kid I wont ever be one but im empath who goes through cptsd one day when I heal i want help people .my whole life I been treated like I was below humen kind and im fighting emotional to heal and one day help someone im tired people treating me like im not good enough .
@nancydicarlantonio4307
@nancydicarlantonio4307 3 жыл бұрын
Fantastic ✨❣️✨ Thank you ✨🙏✨
@mitullala8857
@mitullala8857 3 жыл бұрын
Perfect 🙏 thank you sm
@GullerudGallery
@GullerudGallery 3 жыл бұрын
To quote from Joni Mitchell's last album: "SHINE!" :)
@CherryBerryFashion
@CherryBerryFashion 3 жыл бұрын
6:56 7:54 exactly...
@TianTan
@TianTan 3 жыл бұрын
You’re really good 😮
@EXO1V9
@EXO1V9 3 жыл бұрын
well blue does look good on you
@Ptah_and_Flintstones
@Ptah_and_Flintstones 3 жыл бұрын
Byeill Occult he`s a Antihero you`re Byeill( Nhqeshphatpoh-phrenosomnia) he`s Occult (Nhqeshphatpoh-in Pleed)
@sulviagania5665
@sulviagania5665 3 ай бұрын
I wanna find my purpose but I’m so confused ! I don’t know what I want
@passionflower0820
@passionflower0820 3 жыл бұрын
There's only one word....Damn. Okay more "thank you"
@dereksix2081
@dereksix2081 3 жыл бұрын
🙏🙏🙏
@JMC-1989
@JMC-1989 3 жыл бұрын
👏 👏 👏
@roserosa8586
@roserosa8586 3 жыл бұрын
❤️
@RevivingWildConsciouness
@RevivingWildConsciouness 3 жыл бұрын
💖💖💖💖💖💖
@heartofthunder1440
@heartofthunder1440 3 жыл бұрын
Why are we told to stay small? It’s pretty relevant now! Smart phones and clothes are expensive! Diapers are pretty cheap.
@boom_handled
@boom_handled 3 жыл бұрын
I like the reframing, but not the conclusion. From the truths like "Toxic people will abandon me, wounded people will be jealous, insecure people will ostracize me" does not follow that therefore I should not care about their opinions and do as I please. What follows is that if I want to grow big I have to help those people heal so that they would not be hurt of my shine.
@malzzzzzzzzzz
@malzzzzzzzzzz 3 жыл бұрын
Sometimes, it's just not possible, because people won't change unless they want to, and most of the times in situations like these, there is a tendency in such people to refuse accountability , especially when they don't see any issue with their actions. There is a reason why such situations go on for so long in the first place.
@boom_handled
@boom_handled 3 жыл бұрын
​@@malzzzzzzzzzz the thing is to not try to make them change - for you, but to show them a thing that will resolve the issue which causes them to be villlains.
@phoenixbg2096
@phoenixbg2096 3 жыл бұрын
I have a question for you: When we will stop attracting toxic people? I understand this subject, just don’t get this, are we on a same frequency as them? I hope when we heal, then we will be dismatched for this people, am i Right?
@Artemis583
@Artemis583 3 жыл бұрын
We will never stop attracting toxic people. What changes is how you respond to them and the situation. You give them less energy because you love yourself more and it will feel different.
@phoenixbg2096
@phoenixbg2096 3 жыл бұрын
@@Artemis583 Thank you for your answer. Does that mean that toxic people are everywhere and the diference between us empaths and “regular” people is that with us they would stay, but with “regular” people they wouldn’t stay to long? I appreciate your time and answer🙏🏼💓
@kiringuyen
@kiringuyen 3 жыл бұрын
@@phoenixbg2096 I think so. All people have their issues and they’re toxic in different ways. Some might have things that trigger us and we should stay away from them for our own sake. If you feel positive and happy to be with someone then it’s a good sign that they’re worth to be around :)
@phoenixbg2096
@phoenixbg2096 3 жыл бұрын
@@kiringuyen Thank you dear and God bless you:)🙏🏼❤️
@phoenixbg2096
@phoenixbg2096 3 жыл бұрын
@@kiringuyen I am still thinking of what you said, you lighten up lot of situations in my life. I was praying and fasting lately, Jesus is our Lord, you brought me a message that cleared up so many things for me🙏🏼 Thank you so much💓
@devonslife7970
@devonslife7970 3 жыл бұрын
You are so beautiful ❤️
@brandonb559
@brandonb559 3 жыл бұрын
This
@davidjohnson1654
@davidjohnson1654 Ай бұрын
Jesus said to not hide your light under a bushel. :)
@momione11
@momione11 11 ай бұрын
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