Why would God want me to be single and alone?

In this episode Dr. Betters answers the question, "I'm alone. Everyone is always in pairs. The church seems geared toward married people. I think I'm going to be single for my whole life. Why would God want me to be single?"
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"Ask Doctor Betters" is video series where every Monday Dr. Charles F. Betters answers questions on suffering and the sovereignty of God in 5-8 minutes.
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[@cosmiccurrency4258]

Being single wouldn’t be a problem if God didn’t give us bodies that desires love, affection, and intimacy.

[@SpongeBobSquarePants-zu3qt]

That's exactly the point. We all have desires and want to experience love so why keep certain people from enjoying that?

[@rini6847]

@@SpongeBobSquarePants-zu3qt trust the perfect timing of God.

[@jackychan9773]

Ah yes, ill wait until I'm in my 50s, when every women has a long list of guys they've slept with. Yeah, no, I'm not gonna wait on shit

[@generalhospital8208]

@@rini6847 no he won't do anything because I been waiting and can't wait anymore I'm going to move on with life and forget I even bothered with this fake dream

[@timetofly291]

@@rini6847 All the while suffering? Doesn't sound very biblical. Please save "The loneliness of Jesus on the Cross" speech. It's all made up. The church is just like the world. If we have no desire to be married then we don't need "The Gift of singleness".

[@carmenthechristian12]

The reason so many of the Christian responses to singles is lacking is because it is always given by someone who is married. Prolonged unwanted singleness is lonely. Years of celibacy when we are created sexual beings by God is absolutely crushing and depressing.There simply doesn't seem to be an understanding that many singles are grieving many losses. The thing is if your spouse dies and you become a widow no one says to you " Wow, that's awesome....now you can start ushering Sundays since you don't have the cares of this world anymore. Oh Susie, you miscarried again. Oh, that's great your baby died......now you have time to help organize the church picnic this year for the kingdom!!!! When you lose a spouse the married church understands grief, the loss of intimacy, lonliness.If you lose a child the married church understands the pain of missing someone who isn't there. However, as a single when you experience another year alone, another year missing a spouse who isn't there, another year missing children you don't have, another year of no sexual intimacy....The married church only knows to start talking about " the gift" or they mumble something about being a made a enuch.......😑

[@LuanaAraujo-mg3lz]

You are right, the examples you gave make all sense

[@mizzpeggysue]

I don’t know what to do first.. cry or laugh because this is so true. So true. Unless anyone has walked this lonely road, to be very honest, you have no words to comfort me. And I say this with humility. This response is what I have heard all my life. Are you active in church? You can do more! Not everyone you see married is happy. Be happy single. Don’t compare yourself with others. Be content. 😖

[@iamangelicarose]

🎯🎯🎯

[@twintwo278]

This is so perfectly said...I agree!!!

[@missmlb3842]

Agreed...heard....spot on!!

[@johnhaleii208]

God has proven to me that He does not care about my crushing loneliness. I have prayed and begged for a wife for twenty years. During those twenty years I have given to, volunteered in, and served the church, the entire time begging and praying the same prayer. Instead of even giving me an opportunity I was shown continually what I cannot have. Like showing a starving dog food and then denying it.

[@Dani92670]

I feel the same way, John.

[@cosmiccurrency4258]

Yea it honestly make you not want to pray at all. What makes it worse is you have other men walking around sleeping with several woman even other men wives sometimes, never pray and still get blessed with marriage opportunities. It will really make a person not want to believe in God. I’m not saying we shouldn’t believe in God because we don’t get what we want but I’m saying sometimes it can hurt our faith, praying and not receiving.

[@generalhospital8208]

@@cosmiccurrency4258 I don't believe in him anymore I'm having the same see all the greedy/lustful people loving there greedy/lustful I wish I was them instead I was an idiot that followed a fake God laws which got me into this meaningless existence and you can't turn time back so all the years wasted on a illusion called love from God and women

[@gdust6579]

this is why im walking away from christianity . a loving God would not deprive us of a help mate when He knows we need this, more so than those others. as for me ive been taken advantage of for being single woman with autism. God knows i need a husband to protect me. "it is better to marry than to burn with passion" God knows this is a source of crippling depression for me. being deprived of my husband. God took the man i was supposed to marry, who i prayed for God to cross paths with me, He took him away from me and broke my heart.

[@Anthony-yy3kc]

If you had any idea what God did to provide us our redemption and salvation you would not say God doesn't care about your struggle being single! The fact that you equate his love for you to the giving or denying of a spouse means your understanding of what he did for us all is short sighted!

[@shesallaboutthebusiness316]

lve been single or 14 years and l get really lonely sometimes . who wants to be single for years and years. God created man for companionship

[@youmaydisagreebut848]

Attractive females in church See Marriage Ugly Women become Old Single women in church whom are waiting on God and continue waiting and waiting and waiting Its extremely devastating to see the youth of these women shriveled up into their old days .... many yearn for a Christian man and are even virgins expecting to recieve what they think They deserve or what they think God will give them.... Serving the Lord their whole lives being Used in Church and becoming a Frightening Example to Young Women of what their Future holds....if they're single in church... Its Painfully Heart Breaking... but... Its The Truth... and the Truth Will Set You Free.

[@generalhospital8208]

Yeah I tried to start a family but women alway wanted the man with more money or better looks they use and abuse me and no matter how hard I tried I got the stick. I see all my friends married and have kids but not me I was always the odd man out and to be honest I wouldn't want to be in heaven because you get one shot down here and it was just failure after failure for years and suffering. The evil gets what they want but the children of God get ignored. They say God knows better then you I doubt that and be patient I'm sick of waiting and waiting been waiting all my life and it's getting too late for me to have a family

[@jonathanturner4220]

Very true. Some of us are single by fait not choice. If singleness was good then there would be no future generations on this planet. Become one flesh and be fruitful and multiply. Even though Paul found the secret of contentment his circumstances in jail awaiting execution. Left him little choice but to embrace it but he was still human and lonely I'm sure

[@timetofly291]

@silky smooth Relax, as the older I get, the more I realize that there has to be a God in the first place to put that sign on you.

[@kathytoney1775]

The pain of singleness has not gone away from me either at the age of 46. Therefore I have come to realize , I do not have the "gift" of singleness. I have toiled over this topic for many years, heard this sermon many times, and I strongly believe the Lord has graciously answered my question. He is preparing (and has been) me on many levels. I believe He is also doing the same for other singles in the comments. He has spoken in His Word, ".. It is not good that man be alone...I will send him a helpmeet..." Whoever reads this comment, stay encouraged, and know that God understands, He cares, He's good, and delights giving us the desires of our heart!

[@jamesdavidson4769]

God does punish many of us in different ways. But why this?

[@robmarshall956]

I have this weird God sense that I will be led to my one marriage later in life, I believe I’m being equipped in areas also, I need a lot of chisels) 🙏✝️

[@timetofly291]

@silky smooth BINGO!!! Comment of the year.

[@Turtleback8024]

The best comment here by far! It's sad that the very leaders we look up to for spiritual guidance are sitting pretty on their perch and throwing the Bible at our faces and shoving it down our throats with a size 20 boot while giving their intellectualised opinion on the matter, all in a bid to force us to *"embrace"* our singleness.

[@NinJa-tz1qw]

Nah

[@tinybrit3225]

I don’t want the unmarried freedom!! I’m so mad at God, I’m sick and tired of being alone and single my entire life. I want a romantic life partner, a marriage, and a family to come home to. I’m not content, God KNOWS I’m not content and that I do not have the gift of singleness. Yet every year I remain single and alone. So I left the church and gave up on faith because unanswered prayers. How can God expect someone to continue to have faith when he’s silent and not doing anything but watching you suffer? So now I’m just looking for whatever I can get because I wasted so many precious young years being celibate and obedient for NOTHING!!

[@kathope4484]

Hey! Not sure if this is going to help you in any way but I was in your position a few years ago: very lonely and depressed. Started doubting God and his love for me. Then one day he asked me if he was enough. And it woke me up. I've been single all my life and that has not changed but I had to be honest about the fact that I was chasing God for what he could do for me, not because I loved him. Truth is when I was depressed, I did try to hang on to anything I could find to bring me some joy because I didn't think it was with following God and I now know that nothing will satisfy like he does.

[@calledbygod9817]

Many times unbelief is a hindrance to our prayers being answered and He reveals this in time and usually it doesn’t take long if we walk in humility, letting his word be true.

[@generalhospital8208]

I stopped listening to God a long time ago never answered but wants me to be ready and waiting nope trust is a two way street and he hasn't giving me a reason to trust him because everytime I trust I get screwed. Even if it's God you got to show me I can I'm not going to blindly trust anyone or thing been single and trying for 8 years i asked him to help me out with the pain and lost but only to get more suffering what a wonderful God

[@mircari]

😞😔 too sad to go on like this....single, alone...we go to an empty house everyday it is so hurtful

[@kckc831]

Stay strong, it hurts but please wait, soon it will make sense. Only the Lord knows the desires of the heart. Yes, certainly a place that can cause many of mixed emotions. You are loved by God and He hasn't forgotten about you. Of course, I don't know the future but until you get His path for you to travel, keep on doing whatever you can to stay close to Him.

[@nopretribrapture2318]

@@kckc831 so true and a lovely encouraging message,may GOD Really bless you for helping me and others with your encouragement, im a truly damaged soul due to much lifelong trauma but anyway,GBY😊

[@Fatelvis2]

there is a line from the show Ozark where they said the spouse who once took my breath away now makes me hold in breath in terror sometimes coming home to an empty house is a blessing

[@tsebosei1285]

So sad

[@ells80]

@@Fatelvis2 Please stop minimizing people’s desire to be married by pointing to failed marriages as a reason to not desire marriage.

[@goodman2008V2]

Yeah it’s nice to be single but sometimes it would be nice to hold someone next to you I’ve been single so long i become lonely and it’s sad at times

[@leoortkras1102]

I love the Lord Jesus single looking at the lake sitting in my living room in my boxer shorts I can change the channel

[@infamouscrusader3363]

Yeah. It would be nice to have someone there always to keep you going for God.

[@generalhospital8208]

God is a sick he use us just like how other people use us here. Why be for the lord when he take pleasure watching you suffering I'm beginning to think the devil would be a better option because at least you know he hates you God he most definitely hate us or not I don't know maybe he a she hence the mood swing

[@MiaCarter7]

How about people who want someone but not by choice? Singlness doesnt seem like a gift at all. Seems more like torture or a curse...honestly I dont even feel like the Chrisrtian answers are comforting at all. I feel like just throwing in the towel.

[@DeanaJacksonFrazier]

Please don't do that. God can love you more than a spouse.

[@forever_evolving_5312]

Deana J that’s true BUT there are times when we as human beings need intimacy with another human being. That’s actually a psychological need. Jesus is most important, but while on earth we need other people. If we were to solely rely on Him and none other, He would not have created us for intimacy and community.

[@LaraChristine]

Please watch ApplyGodsWord

[@infamouscrusader3363]

I understand. Being single can be lame because you don't feel desirable or respected. Just remember that Jesus is with us everyday and that you have hope of heaven if you're saved and then you can he with Christ who loves you more than anyone. Personally, I am still looking bit am careful with who I am with. The hardest part for me (as a man) is confidence due to a bad past with women and rejection but I guess that is where God wants me to be humble. Just know you are not alone and I actually wouldn't mind knowing someone like you.

[@erichodge567]

@@DeanaJacksonFrazier , perhaps, but remember that God said of Adam, "It is not good for man to be alone". He then proceeded to create a partner for him. Recall that this was at a time when Adam was in personal contact with God, and spoke to him directly. My point here is that even God recognized that relationship with the divine was simply not sufficient for humanity. Think of it this way: I love small children. I admire their innocence and lack of guile. Nevertheless, no three year old can be my best friend in this world because my thoughts are, in a very real sense, above his thoughts. They cannot meet. I think that it's like this between God and humanity.

[@skygazer2009]

Thank you for the informative video, it has given me a lot to think about. I am a single guy, never been married and no kids about to turn 44. I will honest, I have given up on finding a wife. I have prayed for one for years, and the answer so far has been a resounding no. Being single and lonely can lead to some dark places. It's tough sometimes when my elderly parents tell me that they are afraid I will die alone, or they ask me if I have heard from some person or another that I had dated years ago. All I ask of my fellow believers that are married is please spare me the empty platitudes. I don't want to hear "you got to keep putting yourself out there" or "there is somebody out there for everybody", etc. Please don't feed me false hope. Please remind me of my only eternal hope, Jesus Christ, and my eternal reward.

[@I.Am.RosaMarie]

Amen.

[@judithkoki5657]

Have been single for years

[@wilsonrodrigues2872]

Still single at 36

[@nadinegomez8858]

Are you walking in purity?

[@vester7457]

I turned 63 yesterday, have been single for life. Don't struggle with it. But I did in my late 20s into 30s. The little aphorisms and worthless God talk from married people at church, I just blew it all off. Yours is a complex situation, and they are giving hopelessly facile advice. Keep the faith. And just keep marching.

[@vinnyvox7173]

This isn’t a gift , it’s lonely and hard , I pray with no real answers ever given and the one way conversation just makes me feel worse . God is supposed to know me better than I know myself and yet 12 years of being single with nothing but more struggles and just being the support system of everyone else isn’t a life worth living in my opinion.

[@Dani92670]

Your words explain my situation exactly, only I've been single for almost 15 years and just turned 50 in late September. I'm going through the motions of life but no longer feel I am living at all, just existing. Now add in the scam-demic and it's even worse. How do you meet someone or have a first date with tyrannical, evil, criminal and senseless mask mandates????

[@Justic3F0rA11]

Praying for you 🙏

[@GenetteKates]

I m not single by choice I’m single because no man wants me and I pray to a God who doesn’t care

[@kckc831]

Only you alone know how you feel and I cannot argue with your conclusion. However, please permit me to say that God does care for you. It looks bleak but He does love us. Many of us are in a position where we wonder about it all and contemplate alternatives to loneliness but some will cause more pain than we are currently enduring right now. God cares about the sparrows so of course you are special to Him.

[@calledbygod9817]

Do you really believe or trust that God doesn’t care about you? He made a precious sacrifice for us on the cross and that was the will of God who loves us.

[@jadajohnson7957]

Dear God, please give my future husband strength and wisdom today. Please give him the strength to face the temptations the world lays constantly before him. Help him in his battles and struggles, and please let him know you're beside him at all times. Help him grow stronger in you every day.

[@anapicazo6871]

If it’s gods will he will give you a husband if it’s not then he won’t

[@timetofly291]

@@anapicazo6871 What a pile of horse doo doo. She wouldn't have the desire in her heart for love if she was meant to be single.

[@timetofly291]

Good prayer. Please see my reply to @ana picazo 's comment.

[@KManning-dh4ib]

God has left me alone for 73 years and every moment of my adult life has been one of loneliness that cannot be filled by friends or family. Not one church I have attended has given any consideration toward the needs of single adults. God knows my pain, hears my prayers and pleas and yet here I am. I do not feel joyously single, nor a sense of freedom. All I am left with after a lifetime of of believing and hoping is a sense of abandonment and defeat and the single phrase, "Why, Lord, Why?"

[@fredthompson4568]

I know GOD wants me single so he can use me in times of need for others. To be avalible.

[@Jake-jh9in]

Amen! The greatest gift of our singleness is our "Yes."

[@thenameofthegame4037]

Amen

[@generalhospital8208]

I will not help the lord or his creation all I get is his suffering and more suffering and more I'm to the point where I hate everything about him and his creation I want to destroy it all.

[@RAWALITY]

@@generalhospital8208 I just want him to delete me let everyone else choose this hell hole

[@hkdiva2015]

Hi Doc, I'm a 36 year old unwed Chinese Christian male in Hong Kong and proudly Canadian. I did come across several articles stating that loneliness is detrimental to our health, especially for men and of course this does filter down to even a shorter lifespan. I'm only writing this because I feel lonely as a result of singleness not by choice and still have the you know what intact. I find that the church has failed to address to the singles and to make them feel like the sense that they exist and belong as they're too focused on the married and those that have families. I just would like to love and feel loved by a Christian woman too and many of my friends from school are now married and many of which have families of their own too. I really think it's unfair that we single and unwed population are consistently marginalized.

[@mercyjesus7984]

hkdiva2015 Dear brother i have seem this all over the world. 1is possible to be More powerful in ministery as George Muller. ~i was always so very lonely. ~OVER THE YEARS I GOT IN SIN~just 1. The GIFT OF SINGLENESS IS A LIE. ~PAUL STATED CASE BY CASE~ THEN HIS CASE HE WAS CONTENT. biblical..whatever happens looking to JESUS~ CHECK ELDERS IN SOUTH KOREA LONELY AND SUICIDE...if not married yet.. Fellowship with really Godly people is a MUST~ but what if many churches ARE wrong. NEVER TALK ABOUT real doctrine?~or if ARE married,children very seniors?man will not be leaders having 0 wife to need them to be tje priest. Women never known submission by LOVE. Is noy about TJE MARRIAGE OF THE LAMB AND HIS BRIDE?IF YOU ARE MEANT TO BE SINGLE ~MARRIAGE don't even is a question. I am much older than you or i would ask for courtship..when the tribe of benjamim could not have wives they robbed them.!~visit the underground church in china ~they are not luke warm..any widowed that loves passionately God and need a wife more than 50 ?unfortunately no kidding

[@ifeawosika966]

Make sure your want for marriage is one that isn't driven by lust. Pray to God to provide you with the woman created for you. She may be around, let God open your eyes. Focus on him and she will be there for you. Hey maybe you found her already.

[@mr.d.572]

hkdiva2015 - Right there with you, buddy.

[@amicableenmity9820]

Are you still around? Since the years this was posted Hong Kong was taken over by the CCP and I'm wondering how you guys are faring. Can you even access KZbin anymore ?

[@JaejoongPrincess]

Are you married now?

[@amicableenmity9820]

Being a female doesn't make this any easier, especially one who is social awkward. I've given up finding a husband not out of acceptance but defeat. I still long for one but I try and not to dwell on it. Doing so really makes things worse.

[@Turtleback8024]

😔

[@goodee4451]

gave up a long time ago of finding a suitable woman. may be alone til i die

[@chadboydarkness2116]

I WAS WITH MY WIFE UNTIL SHE PASSED AWAY IN 2014 AFTER 32 YEARS TOGETHER AND 5 CHILDREN NOW IM ALONE BUT THAT'S BY MY CHOICE I WILL NOT GIVE MY HART TO ANOTHER WOMAN IM TO MUCH IN LOVE WITH MY WIFE RIP CATHY LOVE ALWAYS AND UNTIL THE END OF TIME EDDIE

[@nadinegomez8858]

❤️❤️❤️ nice to see a man love his wife for once

[@ironjohn5914]

@@nadinegomez8858 we are out there but we are extremely rare~ hope you find the wonderful love that is out there~~~~~~~

[@Hobok92575]

It is the same way that I feel > My Wife and I were 38 years together, she went back home 🕊️ 4 months ago > I was her Caregiver for 14 years > my love and my heart belongs to My Wife • I was 24 and she was almost 35 when we met > I’m 62 now. May Our Lord bless You Always * Amén •

[@johnz4328]

These singleness videos are always a letdown. I feel worse after watching it. Does this pastor really know what long term singles go through? I very much doubt it. This is just another typical let me see if I can talk you into liking never being married speech. Well it didn’t work and it isn’t going to. It’s very sad and discouraging that this is the best the church can do , a pat on the back and a it’s not really so bad talk.

[@jimb3093]

I’ve often wondered if the thorn in Paul’s flesh was his singleness? I’m a single, never married Christian male…and I’m NOT gifted to be single! Lol! To all the singles in their 40’s…I feel your pain and challenges managing your God given sexuality, wants, needs and desires. Burning in passion isn’t fun. I also understand the challenges finding a Godly spouse in today’s marketplace, even in the church! So we’re caught between a rock and hard place with so much divorce we see, no fault divorce when most people tell us, at least they tell me, “Jim, don’t get married.” It’s not an attractive institution looking from the outside. I’ve heard comments “you got to be out of your mind to marry today.” That’s awful to hear and the men who lost half their assets because she said “I’m not happy.” She gets alimony, child support, and other cash and prizes. I still keep the option open because I know it’s not good being alone and living in constant sexual frustration…that’s not healthy! Keep everything all bottled up, walking around like a pressure cooker about to explode. Anyway…definitely the only thing missing in my life. I have everything else, all needs met except for one, a hunger going unfulfilled. And when lamenting this to married men they chuckle..”Jim you think by getting married that hunger will be met?” I think that is so sad. Married men starving for intimacy to? Shame on you married couples who can have love making legally in the eyes of God and don’t take advantage of it; depriving one another. Then us singles sleep alone at night oftentimes not able to sleep because the desire is so intense!

[@ThePolitissa]

once i wrote down my ideal husband and then i realized all disciples are dead: ))))

[@noahplays3698]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@user-qo1wq7vt7t]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@annielu4068]

😂

[@josephpack7315]

Yeah most women have very unrealistic expectations.

[@nicholaschuma6304]

🤣🤣🤣🤣we are here just feel like we are called to be single

[@kerry5972]

Sad, but you cannot force a person to fall in love with you.People in their 60s up have a harder time finding love.

[@jasology]

i guess God is telling me to wait....forever

[@theunnamed2440]

Who wants to live forever? If love must dieee

[@rini6847]

Wait till death😅

[@jonathanturner4220]

There can be only one.

[@IntuitiveYakOfAllTrades]

Others have asked this but I’ll ask it too. What about those who are single not by choice, ie those who get led on and dropped like a hot potato by everyone they build up courage to talk to?

[@AmyLee-ni4no]

I'm 44 and a widow of a pastor. He passed when I was only 35...I became a single mom instantly . I spent the 1st 3 years healing. Then, I thought that God would bring me a spouse. I wasted nearly 5 years waiting. I wish I had not waited and hoped for one. When I seen how wayward the men of God had become I no longer wanted one. You would not believe how many " Godly men" did not believe in no sex before marriage. ITS TERRIBLE. when the only difference between a worldly man and a christian man is one shows up for church!!...thats when you know its all a farse...After much heartbreak and reality I realized not only did I waste my time in waiting and praying but many years of broken dreams. Finally I let it go...and had more then one night crying but I began to heal. Sometimes its best to let go, have those feelings of anger, disappointment, honesty with God and begin the healing process and move on.

[@hamiltonrowan5027]

God bless you Amy! I agree so much with what you say. I think the churches are full of unbelieving and worldly people. Fornication, adultery, and divorce are commonplace. Our church had a pastor who taught worldy doctrines and ended up renouncing his faith. Now he is a nasty atheist who hates God and the Christian community. I have come to believe what Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians 7 about the freedom to pursue God with undivided and sole devotion! Unmarried people can devote themselves totally to the advancement of the Kingdom of God! It gives you freedom to serve in ways married people cannot. You have children, so perhaps you don't have quite the same time as totally unmarried people, but I'm happy to hear you have let the struggle go. I am sorry you cried yourself to sleep in the past, but I am glad to see you've healed. I went through a lot of pain and suffering awhile ago when some so called Christians were very cruel to me, because I had some emotional problems and was not a "cool" guy. I also saw them ditch a guy who was mentally challenged after he had traveled 180 miles to join them. So believe me the churches then and now are full of cruel and worldly people. But there are good, Godly ones too. I prefer to minister where I can. I used to work with Habitat for Humanity. I know God will bless us both and when we get to heaven we won't care whether we were married or single in this life. All the best to you and your children!

[@Monika-tv8np]

At least you have kids to live for. I am 42 single, never married, never a real relationship and must say the same, all men I met just wanted one thing. I had to accept God’ s will and stay single, maybe after I fully accept that fact, he will reveal my true purpose. If I don’t accept I feel like my soul is dying...

[@mr.d.572]

Amy Lee - I assure you that there are godly men out there who are finding the exact same thing in many women who call themselves Christians. We are continually frustrated, disappointed, and deeply hurt by behavior and attitudes that we see as narcissistic, manipulative, dishonest, cowardly, materialistic, unspiritual, and ultimately very shallow. My biggest complaint is that I cannot seem to find someone who will value me *for who I am.* Instead they see me as a stepping stone to what they want, which usually doesn't include me so much. I'm doing the grieving thing now, and that's about all I have at the moment. Not ready to give up completely yet, but maybe I will at some point.

[@ricardogonzalez1815]

Amen. We live at the crossroads where sex is considered to be normal thing to engage in. The destruction of the body of Christ is what the enemy wants with its compised ungodly, unholy Devotions. I totally agree with you on letting go of everything And accepting what is. GOD BLESS YOU

[@blackwidowotilia]

Wow same here. The majority of Christian men I heard say it's ok to have sex before marriage, If you both go to church.? What? I tried over and over praying to God asking if there are truly any godly men. I'm kind of accepting being single. Been 18 years.

[@danny-li6io]

I feel so out of place and alienated from people at church because everyone there is married with children.

[@annelinepadayachee]

Single people have 1 income - and have to pay bills, rent/mortgage, insurance etc... financially it's actually tougher. Sure we can help out more in church (cue Sunday school to give marrieds a chance to sit in the service), but it's lonely being alone for the meaningful deep conversations or to problem solve or to play with someone else's kids...

[@ldsjfaithrideshareandinves6513]

that's one way of living single.

[@Anson7777]

So true!! It's very difficult to have to pay for everything yourself and to make all the decisions alone... Then you go to church and be treated like a slave because you're single... Only to serve the entitled married people!!! Forget that!!!

[@digjunk3d]

The thought that blows me away is that in biblical times their culture was geared for arranged marriages. There wasn't much complaint for being single (except for a few eunichs who God comforted in both the old and new testaments). Think about it. A young boy, before he starts to have ungodly lusts, and his parents state to him, "We are setting you up with your neighbor Susie. She's young now but as soon as you both are old enough we will marry you." And Susie's parents allow their daughter to befriend that son, and will tell her when she's ready she will be his wife. And the idea that the kid was never alone, and had no need or desire to seek a wife. She's always been there. There are instances where people looked for wives. Isaac didn't look for his wife, but his parents had a servant look for one for him. Jacob did seek, and found Rachel, disregarded her dad's tradition and ended up getting Leah first, but then got Rachel. But it is now a requirement to look for someone, and therefore we now live in a culture that is based on attraction more than family.

[@kckc831]

Wow, interesting. I was revisiting my devotionals from 3 May 2010 and it was about the servant going out to find Rebekah. There is no limitation on God's Words. God bless you.

[@vester7457]

I would add to that, we now live in a culture that sets almost no value on marriage and family. Marriages are so iffy and flimsy, that whenever I've attended a wedding I tend to think divorce is more likely than not. Another aspect. My mother was born in 1919. In her generation you got married and had a family or you became a teacher or a nurse. That was about it. The women's movement came in the 1970s. Now the cultural concensus is it's so wonderful that women can have all these careers, etc. In my opinion, the entire human race was better off when roles were steady and knowable and when mom was home to take care of the children and domestic affairs.

[@1000mizz]

Single ppl just have as much stress

[@MM-re3dn]

If not more

[@monicapandey2251]

''Singleness is a gift from god''..sounds like bull..it is just a saying thrown around by people who cant even prove that God really exists and if he actually does he has kept me single all my 35 years of life for three main reasons: 1. I am forgotten by the Almighty, 2. He thinks I will not be good wife/mother in the future and 3. He just doesn't want me to be happy or be with anyone. Pick one. Honestly, I have given up on the idea of holding faith in God's timing and judgement when I see less deserving people around me living a great family life. I mean, I learnt this truth hard way that if I cant make any right guy on this planet to fall in love with me and make me his wife, how can I even think of making the Almighty love me and not be blind to my sorrow and tears.

[@gdust6579]

i agree

[@watitduful]

Don’t charge that to Jesus sis. Charge that to man. There’s many false preachers and prophets misleading people especially in respect to this matter.

[@israelmaldonado2636]

i was married for 28 yrs to whom i thought was a Godly woman when one day she told me she was in love with a coworker and had an affair with him this truly really destroyed me inside i always felt that marriage is sacred and holy before God but just because i thought that doesnt mean that my spouse felt the same way ive been divorce now for two years i just turned 51 and ever since ive been reading the word of God and praying i know in my heart that God has someone special for me and if he doesnt then let his wil be done not mines.....

[@blackwidowotilia]

I'm with you there. Single for 18 years and wondering what God has for me? I see too many fake Christian men so I tend to give up over and over. Where are godly men that believe in purity? Obeying the bible?

[@laquan3661]

wow so sad 🙏

[@simangalisoncube8603]

Keep the faith and keep it up am touched by your faith

[@i_only_simp_for_myself800]

Omg you’re so wise and patient. Wish I was more like you 😢

[@bradstevens9604]

Been there twice unfortunately, and i was the very faithful one too.

[@cosmiccurrency4258]

There’s a lot of people in the comments talking about how blessed they are for being single and focusing on God and then turn around and commit sexual immorality when the urges get to strong. It’s bull, just how every marriage that looks happy isn’t good, every person that give thanks for being single isn’t actually grateful.

[@watitduful]

You make sense. Much of these people saying keep the hope alive and all that are actually using this as a coping mechanism and projecting it onto others who want marriage (something God Created). That’s why I say only trust in Jesus and not man. Man can easily mislead you. Taking advice from these talking points would be the equivalent of going to an ingrate for advice on how to be grateful or to a lazy person about how to be a hard worker. Always pay attention to the source.

[@knowthywalk8908]

I know I will die single. It's horrible as a 40 something year old man to have never experienced marriage or children. People will start to think you are gay which no straight dude ever wants anyone to think that about you. Criminal dirtbags have loads of kids, but a Christian is denied that opportunity? You think back to your teens and if they told you then that 30 years later you'll be single with no kids I think most people would never have imagined that. It's one of the things I will always feel God let me down with. Out of the billions of women on earth there isn't one for me? Can't believe even Protestants are pushing this "gift of singleness" nonsense. If God will deny us a wife and kids then wtf does he have us here for? Just to work? Working out relieves some of my loneliness, but what good is being in shape if God keeps you single? My faith in Christ for salvation is strong as I know this wicked world is not our home, but damn this walk on earth is a bitch. I'm ready to GTFOH and start eternal life.

[@LuanaAraujo-mg3lz]

How have you been? 😢

[@markpatterson3435]

I thank you for speaking about this subject. I am a widower with two daughters. My wife died of ALS. There are many unanswered questions that my daughters and I face but there is one thing that is and always will be true...we have a great loving Father that knows our hearts. I would love to remarry someone for I feel that being married is a wonderful way to live. Until then I will fall in love with Jesus with passion and a white hot heart. I will serve the members of the church with a servants heart.

[@kellyhayward548]

This is such an important topic. Chasing after God's heart and service in the kingdom should be the focus of a believers heart. As a single person (single mom) - I spent years wanting this amazing relationship. I wanted that partner to share and do life with. I found brokenness over and over. At the end of me - was Christ. I have been chasing the heart of God alone and content. The closer to the Lord I get, the less I desire for the things of this world and the less I desire a romantic relationship. I just want to encourage the single believers - chase God alone and He will give you peace. That desire may not leave, but trust in the Lord because He is tracing your steps. He is never late and never fails. If we don't have it - it is a good thing from God. Take care.

[@generalhospital8208]

Nope they burned me for the last time and I'm sick of that crap

[@ironjohn5914]

@@generalhospital8208 what happened?

[@gdust6579]

i cant trust a God who would not let me enjoy even a commited relationship when it is all i wanted in life. last time i was burned i am still hurting 8 mos later. God betrayed my prayers. no God would want his child to be this unhappy. if marriage is what we want and God knows this will solve our problems. He should bless us with marriage, FOR HIS GLORY!!! but he wouldnt. why???

[@gdust6579]

@@generalhospital8208 what Loving God would let this kind of pain happen tho while blessing everyone around us with marriages

[@jvnd2785]

Thank you very much for this video. I have been struggling with loneliness all my life. Born as the only child and brought up in a highly dysfunctional family, my father abused both me and my mother. Men verbally abused and harassed me since I was 13 (a shy, socially-awkward girl with large boobs and small waist was a perfect target for them). Nobody was ever interested in me, men just saw me as a s3x doll, not a human. Because of that I struggled with su*cidal depressions until I was 37. At the age of 33, I was married (an arranged marriage) to a gay with meth addiction. Only then I realised what loneliness can there be!- when your spouse does not even hug you (we are not even talking about other things). We got divorced, I moved to another country...got depressed again, only to be "rescued" by a man who pretended to be my friend but he only wanted to get laid. I feel more sorry for allowing him to take advantage of me while I was at the low point in my life than for anything else. Until last year, I hated God. I blamed Him for my loneliness. I blamed Him for all the awful things that happened. I was SO wrong. Last year, I attempted a su*cide and Jesus saved me. He completely changed my heart and my life. Now, I love God above all. I want to serve Him with all my being. Praise be to the LORD, our God forever! ...and yet, I do struggle. I literally cannot bring myself to read Proverbs. I cannot stop seeing all through the Scriptures the happiness that comes with marriage. It hurts me to fellowship in the church- no matter what their circumstances, at least they have *somebody* around them. I am on my own (no family whatsoever, 1 friend who would not notice for weeks if I went missing), living with debilitating disabilities. My only companion in this world is my mule (half donkey). He always takes my worries away and I thank the LORD for giving me such a lovely creature...but I really do not know what human affection feels like. It's hard to be forever single when all you crave is a human touch and company. I do not care about the sensual stuff, I truly could not care less. But knowing what an embrace feels like now and again would be nice. Having somebody to curl up next to, feeling somebody's heartbeat and warmth would be nice. Sharing food with somebody, seeing them smiling, would be nice. I do understand and appreciate that singleness offers me all the time in the world to be spend on studying the Scriptures, sharing the Gospel, advancing His kingdom. For this I am thankful beyond words. Don't take me wrong, it is a real gift. If I had a spouse, I would have to take some time and energy to deal with the human being next to me. As I am now, I can spend the whole day serving the LORD and nothing gets in my way...and I am grateful. But it's not an easy path, especially since the stress of being lonely, constantly on alert, constantly wearing the brave face, is causing my disability to get out of control. There are times I am in so much pain I cannot walk or sit in a chair. There are times when I have 20 seizures a day. It can be really tough going. And I have to remind myself over and over again that I should never feel sorry for myself. For God gave to a wretched creature like me the most precious gift there is!- He gave me redemption. He gave His only Son for all of us. He filled me with the Holy Spirit and gave me a brand new heart that loves Him. I keep reminding myself that without Him, without His love and mercy, I would be now suffering in Hades (just like any other unbeliever).

[@AskDrBetters_MARKINCMinistries]

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling that way and dealing with so much physical pain on a daily basis. I understand how frustrating and confusing it can be. I am encouraged to hear that you are trusting in Jesus. We have many more resources on our website www.MARKINC.org that you may find helpful. In addition, you may want to consider talking to someone to help. We have counselors available who want to help. Go to HelpandHopeNow.org to find out more. God Bless!

[@coqui1550]

Thank you for addressing this issue in the way you did. I needed to hear this. Praise God!!

[@djgrant8761]

Being single allows me the freedom to go where I want, spend time with whoever I want, do whatever I want realising that I have all the time to spend one on one with God. Over the years I’ve felt the pressure of being single especially when people try to play matchmaker but I’m happiest on my own. I really have to only please one person and that is the Lord.

[@jimservu]

Singleness is a curse. Not a blessing. It does nothing but drive a wedge of pain and confusion between a believer and God. It creates a point of contention with no true answer, apart from the general easy out answer of “Trust God” with nothing else to follow.

[@FUGYOO]

Doc, you hit that nail on the head! I was widowed in 1986. I attended many churches, in many towns, in many states searching for answers but always seemed to run into this situation. Made me feel very out of water. Thank you for this. I hope it helps others tho it is 30 years late. God is great.

[@mercyjesus7984]

FUGYOO..made me so sad. I love the Lord and wouldn't ever be able to marry not just a church goer.. But a true servant of God?~just because i say i am a christian doesn't mean i am the one ~loneliness grows..

[@mercyjesus7984]

FUGYOO just a question brother..did you FAST and ask for a wife according to GOD?or you kind of feel happy alone?

[@nadinegomez8858]

There are FAR more godly women than men nowadays. A lot of women are single in the church, and die single (unless they of course settle and marry an unbeliever). How are we supposed to deal with this?

[@watitduful]

There’s not a shortage of godly men it’s just that many of them are not found on the church building. Or perhaps they see what some of these women you speak of don’t see. Church is not a building. It’s the totality of the believers no matter where they are. If I was stuck on a very remote island would I not be a Christian given I’m not attending a church building?

[@marieyateman3905]

I am still waiting for the Lord to send the right man to me, but I was put in a situation where I was with the wrong man, which I knew was not pleasing to the Lord because his beliefs were atheist and constantly mock me about the Lord, and I found myself everyday defending the Lord vocally. It became exhausting and I had to get away from him. I love being single but I am lonely.

[@jenlampton1549]

I think God wants me to be single because I have expectations of a man that only GOD can meet

[@Runner8617]

Me too!! My standards are so high it would take a true miracle, a "needle in a haystack" type of miracle!!

[@devinr.5409]

I cannot feel fulfilled with a belief that he will take care of me when in my body and my day to day I physically see people in relationships, I physically see marriage and others having children. I physically feel the pain when someone hurts me or uses me or says they don’t want the same thing. I’m suppose to have faith and believe that the creator whom I’ve never seen or heard is trying to help me? Has a plan? Wants me to feel terrible? That doesn’t seem right. Maybe he doesn’t believe in me.

[@corym8358]

Not everyone who is alone is lonely. Singleness is an opportunity for even greater service to the kingdom.

[@shesallaboutthebusiness316]

l believe that no one should be unwillingly single. it is God's will for everyone to be married but I believe the devil can attack someone in their love life so that they never find love or get married the same way he can attack someone's health or finances

[@Dani92670]

Wow - I think you are onto something with this. Yes, you are absolutely right on the mark!

[@jenniferwilliams8863]

your comment is the only one that's realistic and not some fake b.s. Yes the devil tricked me. I always choose bummy men because of my low self esteem. now I've waisted so much time.

[@jamesbutler5995]

I have never been married no children I do fight loneliness to a certainty extent.This week in Church is about married couple and when I look at the congregation I feel that I'm the only one with n church who is single but if God wants me to be single till I die then I will remain single.

[@anapicazo6871]

Aw don’t feel sad as long as you have Jesus you’ll be okay

[@generalhospital8208]

I wish I could make God human so I can make him suffer like he did to me and other and pray for help and no answer so why would I trust him when he giving me 1,000 of reason not to trust him or other he like to make people suffer

[@timetofly291]

That's a good way of putting it, but what do you want? Leaving God out of the picture do you want to be single? If the answer is "no" then go out there and find a partner. Don't sit around and keep waiting for prayers to be answered. People in church get married and divorced just like people outside of church do, so getting married in church is no guarantee of having a good marriage.

[@timetofly291]

@silky smooth I think we just found the comment of the year. You have said what many have been thinking. Bravo.

[@caseyoliver4718]

Well let me explain something really quick if you dont mind. There is a such a thing called put your actions behind your faith that means if you want something then you Need to go out there and find someone but Not just anyone No. But I would suggest that maybe try to go out there and find someone instead of waiting for God to bring you someone in your life, that means be social and talk to other people that you might be interested in and see if they may have interest in you whoever might be. For example this is just an example. It's kinda like this: say you want a job right? And say you been praying to God for a job for I don't know five years but yet you Never received a job for whatever you want to work at. And you want to know why you Never have a job? It's because you Never replied at None of these jobs only because you Never put your application at any of these jobs and that's why you don't have a job because you didn't submit No application's at any job but you expect God to give you a job but you Never replied so 🤷 does that make sense? So this is just my example for you if you want something then you going to have to get up and do something instead of waiting otherwise you will Never get anywhere unless you try.

[@MoneyMarcMes]

Singleness is not a gift.

[@Holly5794]

I am 34 years old and I have never been married. I've never had a relationship that went past 3 months. I have no desire whatsoever to be single for the rest of my life. I want to get married and have babies and I'm scared it's never going to happen because it's not what God wants.

[@forward_ever_ever2595]

I feel u. Most ppl who i've come to know who are single aren't really happy...having someone to love is great...i admire ppl who find that love. I love serving God for real, but i definately hate being alone.

[@whitneyallman8365]

Keep pressing in ask God for contentment

[@tc4583]

Same here. My last "relationship" ( not really as he was fooling me - he already had a gf and it was a nightmare) didn't last more than 2 months and this was when I was 14 years old, about 21 years ago! After that horrible experience at 14, I prayed to God for the next person I'm with to be my husband, that I didn't want to date but wanted to wait on Him to bring me spouse. I went about my life...work, school.. believing that it would happen when I was around 25. I've been single and waiting on God to bring me my spouse for 21 years! I'm 35 now. Nothing has happened. I honestly feel so let down tbh. There are 0 prospects. None of the men who approach me I find attractive ( no offense to them). If anything does happen, it will honestly be a miracle. I cry so much these days just realizing my state. All my younger siblings are either married or in a serious relationship. I'm the only one in my immediate family, among cousins who is still single. I honestly can't believe that I put my trust in God since I was 14, totally believing that He would bring my husband and this is my plight today. I saved myself for marriage and want the same in my spouse. Where am I going to meet such a person especially at this age? I feel very upset and let down.

[@watitduful]

What are you doing to change that? Do you think God doesn’t want you to take any action? You have free will. That potential lady will not see you if you’re nowhere to be seen. Common sense bro.

[@watitduful]

Also, perhaps ask God why you have that 3 month pattern and how to remedy that so you don’t keep repeating the same thing over and over.

[@lisamoon8989]

Thank you for speaking on this topic!

[@extratheresetialoccurrance4070]

This was great. Thank you!

[@mariadelmarrubioperez6819]

Very helpful, very comforting, very enlightening!! Thank you so much!!

[@henryigon6085]

Thank you. That's true. The Lord have spoke to me in my dream when I be able to serve Him with the gift he given to me. But I do not understand and just ignore it. Thank you for this message ..and its so clear to me now. I ve been single to all my life and always have worry what may people think of me, especially being single. I need prepared my self to use this gift to serve the Lord. Thank you Dr.for this message.

[@evajesus1107]

Well I'm not interested in pleasing any one except god bcoz god is true love for me

[@Jasmine-jx9ir]

I'm not trying to be discouraging in any way- if the background music wasn't playing, this would be a lot easier to pay full attention to... its kinda distracting. That's just my opinion tho

[@jochoa1570]

It's distracting for me too. Very generic, like muzak, but for Christian living. 🙄

[@eriknorton8642]

I’ve also been single for years. I’ve come out of the world, and the Lord is doing his work in me. Roughly 5 years of singleness, and it does get difficult. But, I only want the one God wants me to have. If he doesn’t want me to be married, that’s ok. It’s amazing, the power of the Holy Spirit and the strength given to withstand sexual immorality, and curb my loneliness. Gods will be done no matter what . He knows best, and true intimacy with him is better than anything. Thank you father, and Christ Jesus, the King

[@generalhospital8208]

I wouldn't trust him he gave us needs and then won't let us do it all I do I suffer so I don't view living a blessing more of a sick joke there nothing worth it down here I'll rather go to hell then be with a lying cowards of a God

[@zackman14ify]

God has called me to wait ✋ 🙏 🙌 Habakkuk 2 verse 2-3 might want to read it. Needless to say I'm praying that one day soon I can find her.

[@nadinegomez8858]

Are you waiting in purity

[@constantspirit2561]

I've read some of the comments and I have found that there is mostly despair, angst, an emptiness in many of the lives of the people that have made comments. Let me clear up something for you. Up until about the age of 35 I had been through hundreds of people both male and female sexually unfortunately I have been promised forever eight different relationships over the course of my young life from eighteen to thirty-five or so. In one day when I was in the"bath", it came over me very strongly and powerfully, and at the same time with a certain degree of peace that I would in fact be alone for the rest of my natural life and would also die alone. At least single anyways. I don't mind being alone as it carries many benefits ever so much more than one would think. I don't have to answer to anyone except the Lord, and I don't have particular schedule that I have to keep for someone else. Now obviously because our bodies are designed to multiply that part of it does get complicated from time to time, but I simply resort to either trying to fight it or self-gratifying which also even in and of itself still poses the fact that there is still sin involved on my part. I, over the years have become quite comfortable with being alone, simply because I know the only person that I have to answer to is the holy Father the son and the spirit 🙏. So to anyone who feels that they are not able to exercise the self-control that they need and by all means there are plenty of websites they can help you at least fine find a possible companion for life. As for me, I will continue to be single and I will continue to grow. In the Lord and in my understanding of the holy Spirit and his will. He's there and he knows and he will always take care and give the proper provision because he has provisions that we know nothing about. I hope this was a comfort to some of you, and I pray that God has put it on your heart that you will be single and alone for the rest of your life that he also gives you the piece that he has given me when I made that decision that I will not be with another person because I would rather have the holy Father son and spirit as my only companions. I'm perfectly happy with that.

[@brendaleverick3655]

Being a single woman can be very hard at times. Then again, I don't have people I don't like coming over.🕊️

[@thenameofthegame4037]

Yeah thats a huge benefit

[@firedingo5]

I struggle with singleness deeply. I'm 30 years old and I've never been in a relationship, I've never been on a date. I want to marry and have kids and honor God with both of those more deeply than I can describe. It feels like a part of me is dying all the time because I hurt that much from the unfulfilled desires. Yet that pain is only magnified more because I was abused by my family and as such have no relationships with them. So I have almost nobody in life in the form of relationships. I don't even have close friends. All I really have is the people I know at church. I want to live for God, to seek his Kingdom and to honour and glorify him but I don't know how to do that when I feel so deeply alone. I feel like I have no place in life. Church is so heavily focused to married couples and families that I feel invisible and secular life is a trudge and disheartening as I try to do it all alone. What is a young single female in my position suppose to do?

[@vester7457]

You and I have had much the same experience in life. You are not alone

[@david-portillo]

Same here

[@gaelgolpe]

Me too . I’ve been trying to go to church to see if I can find someone .

[@Monika-tv8np]

I needed this. Thank u

[@Justic3F0rA11]

For me, I don’t wanna stay home. I have to go somewhere. If I stay at home I feel like I’m just rotting away. I pray God will give me someone and I pray for everyone here who is single and feels alone. 🙏 Remember he is good!

[@AskDrBetters_MARKINCMinistries]

Thank you for sharing. We're here to support you! Visit HelpandHopenow.org for many free resources that offer help and hope. Don't forget to download our free app, "Help & Hope," available in your app store for more videos and content.

[@gabrielarkangelo]

Well, this all Falls on the same page.. everyone talks about singles like everyone who is single is by choice.. also, try to live without companionship, without feeling love and also no sex. Married people will always be in advantange (unless their partner is a real pain)

[@cosmiccurrency4258]

I agree, Paul has his opinion and also not every is strong like Paul to unsure what he endured. I always say this, it’s easy to tell people to over come something they are already strong in.

[@forgoogletotrack7181]

I think a lot of us are miserable single because of the cultural pressure, both in and out of the church. God taught me that free will is a thing. Often, in our brokenness, we want outside validation when our validation and worth should come from God. We then desire someone else to complete us, when God wants to heal and complete us. We make choices out of brokenness and therefore, a need. Marriage should be an option, not a need. Our psychological need for human connection is to be primarily fulfilled in platonic relationships. Romance is secondary. When we make choices out of brokenness instead of wholeness, we are not exercizing choice out of free will, we are driven by an intense need bordering on idolatry. The key is to slow down and become introspective and self-aware, to work on ourselves and allow the Father to illuminate our broken places so He can heal it. God wants to be and has to be first in a human life, or else our obsession with people or things will rule and eventually destroy us. When God healed me, and that happened over a number of years, He then gave me a choice between singlehood and marriage. I joyfully chose singlehood because He had become my everything. No human being can love me like my Father does, and all my human relationships healed and are the best they've ever been. It sounds incredible and unattainable, but believe me when I tell you that singlehood in the Lord is the most amazing grace and blessing. I have absolutely no anxieties and worries.

[@vester7457]

This was a very thoughtful and interesting post. I agree with you and have reached the same conclusions. I am a contented single, all the way round. Whatever heartaches I have in life, they are not related to my being single.

[@watitduful]

Or perhaps maybe that person just wants to have a spouse? It may not be because they lack faith. Some of these talking points remind me of Job’s “friends” accusing him of suffering due to something he did wrong. It’s not a crime or an indication of a lack of faith or idolatry to desire being married and experiencing something that God Himself created. Very accusatory. We are human beings and are fallible. Unlike some on here, Jesus understands that hence His mercy. I think the church has done a very poor hob in this subject and I believe that some churches are in the business of keeping people single. Think about it, that’s more tithe money, more time being dedicated to submitting to that pastors will and doing tasks at the church building, a circle jerk of frustration and believing that the pastor is the one to run to to deal with said frustration the pastor is, ironically, facilitating, and so on. Not by coincidence. This is why I say people should talk to God directly and tel Him what’s on their mind. God actually wants that.

[@enduring22]

I'm not widowed I'm not single by choice and I'm not divorced so what does that mean for me?

[@gouthamraj9240]

singleness is not a gift rather i would tell it's a punishment. why would i want to be single if God is single. i wanna get married. i don't care if god is single.

[@jamesdavidson676]

If God wasn't so very severely mentally retarded, which then many of us guys wouldn't be single at all since he has really cursed many of us guys with singleness for no reason at all. Go figure.

[@stonecoldfan3167]

It's God's plan it's not good a man should be alone I will make him a help mate and he shall leave his father and mother and the two shall be one flesh.

[@mariecook622]

I so needed to hear this message. I thank you for this. God never disappoints the seeker. You gave me a better perspective on my singleness, post marriage and post several relationships. I feel God put me on pause for a reason but not forever... tku

[@AskDrBetters_MARKINCMinistries]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching and God Bless!

[@laquan3661]

thank u so much for this

[@brianmcelroy3717]

This is all new to me and I won't say I know anything about this gift of singleness because I have always believed in marriage from a young age. But I now see that singleness side of things and know nothing concerning it so I am lost but open to it.

[@amandarecoveryjones8216]

I never sought marriage but ended up marrying the absolute worst person for me. I turned my face to The Lord and now I'm healing although I'm still married due to state laws. I feel single and it already feels wonderful. Truly feel like God taught me a lesson. - Don't follow what society says women need. Follow me.......Thank you Jesus for saving me. Pastor this was a great video. Thank you so much.

[@SpongeBobSquarePants-zu3qt]

As a single Christian man, 41. This is something I struggle to understand. I've been single all my life but not through choice. I've asked women out and tried online dating only to be rejected. I strongly desire a wife and marriage. I do feel lonely at times but work keeps me busy. I don' know why God won't allow me to enjoy a Godly marriage?

[@generalhospital8208]

I had women but they were bad and I been single for 8 years and try dating with no luck I ask God but no answer and having that happen all my life I said you know what I don't need him anymore he says just ask me and I'll help but then I remember God has his favorite and I'm just a lowly person so I don't matter

[@brbinamara1778]

Are u still single?

[@charlesgilbert2054]

I never thought about marriage taking attention away from God. That being said, the bible promotes marriage in a big way so who knows what to believe.

[@Arcanon10]

Ya .... it always seems like an odd assertion to make. I know Paul says as much in 1st Corinthians 7 and I understand why he said it. Certainly, someone engaged in the kind of all-consuming evangelistic work Paul was would only be weighed down by the concerns of a spouse and family. Oddly enough, however, this principle seems to be rarely applied practically by the vast majority of pastors who quote 1st Corinthians 7. Does that make any sense to anyone? Pastors are chosen by God for a unique and central role in His church. They minister to the flock of believers and guide them in their understanding of and growing in the truth of the Word. If anyone should be wholly devoted to God's work without the "cares or burdens" of a spouse, it should be pastors, according to this thinking. But we both know that is rarely if ever the case. Why is that? No one ever tells a pastor he'd be better off single .... they only say it to older singles who are struggling with their singleness. I even once heard a pastor literally say that marriage has distractions and responsibilities that single people should be thankful not to have ... and he then went on to list "doing dishes" and "taking out the trash." THOSE were his examples of how marriage is "distracting." Of course he would never say that the love and affection and comfort and sexual intimacy he shares with his wife is "a distraction from serving God completely." No, he would never say that. He would just tell the lonely, affection-deprived, sexually frustrated virgin who has prayed for years upon years for a godly spouse that "marriage is a distraction from serving God." Hypocritical sophistry ... plain and simple.

[@Pacifica74]

@@Arcanon10 Excellent point! If anyone, pastors should remain single is right.

[@watitduful]

Bingo! What those in the church who preach that, even Paul himself, forgot is that serving each other in the marriage is actually praise and honor to God being that it’s essentially a ministry. People miss the puzzle for the piece very often with this. To Paul’s credit, he did clarify that his view of singleness was his own and not a mandate from Jesus. Many patsies and clergy often times take their personal convictions and preach that at church instead of what’s actually in the Bible.

[@watitduful]

*Many pastors

[@loisweimer6832]

I am single 72 and alone.my husband of 42 years together died 7 years ago...

[@2957485]

Dear Dr Betters, Maybe I stumbled onto your channel by chance, or probably looking for an answer, but hey, at 63years now, a self-confessed (but non-practising) homosexual, singleness in my experience and circumstance can only be associated with loneliness, very much by choice in my case as I no longer wish to associate with the world. A recluse. But what has made me this way is the contributing factor of being shunned by couples. Very rarely, unless you know the couple since early years, will newcomers in your life keep inviting you back into their homes to partake a home-prepared meal when the conversation doesn't (or couldn't sustain in the) share/ing (much) about children's growing up challenges and very rarely do the conversation veer (long into) towards politics (or religion). I find that it's the couple who do not know how to handle themselves with the single friend/stranger, and not so the other way. From my observation too, a divorced man (who has stopped looking) will too get shunned eventually and lose regularity in free associations with married couples and their families. It's a societal thing. Nothing to do with God. Man has an innate suspicion against anyone not like themselves. Hence singles find solace among themselves more, never mind if they have stopped 'looking' or still 'itching'! Yes, single people, if they embrace their status and accept this as unchanging will gain better freedom to pursue any passion they put their heart to, without distraction. But a single person does not necessarily mean, without companionship. I've long kept away from the church because of many reasons. Too black and white, too judgmental. Jesus' teachings are poorly reflected in real life by the saved. Many forget that the ways of the world pull us away from God and we know what Paul wrote in Ephesians. But that will be another matter again.

[@sheltonwijesiri8112]

Very clear,thanks you lot.

[@formfive668]

Singleness is a CURSE

[@maximinocarrero2209]

This is really Good! Amen brother!

[@AskDrBetters_MARKINCMinistries]

Much appreciated! Thankks for watching!

[@conartist267]

Just subbed to this. I’m single and i really like your points. I sent this to a single mum and she just exploded. You never mentioned single mums with responsibilities to their kids. I’d love it if you could provide some enlightenment on this?

[@sunriseschubert4391]

I'm single and I just lost my beloved mother unexpectedly. She lived with me and besides been my mother, she was my companion, best friend, confidant, everything. 😢💔. I'm praying to God for strength, healing, and resignation soon 🙏🏻✝️🕊️

[@AskDrBetters_MARKINCMinistries]

I'm so very sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your mom. It sounds like you had a very special and meaningful relationship and that is such a sweet blessing. "So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you." John 16:22 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 147:3 Hope this helps!

[@moovgirl]

I know this comment is late but I too am single and lost my mom January 2023. We were as close as you were to your mom and although I miss her terribly I know she is happy with the Lord and the strengths I have gained since she left is all because of God and I can use what I went through to help others. You are not alone. Let us be thankful to God and focus on how we can use our own uniqueness and talents for the Lord. God bless you and remember that you can do anything through Christ who strengthens you.

[@Runner8617]

I'm a female and 80% content and happy about being single. Sometimes I get a strong feeling of wanting a spouse, but the feeling usually passes quickly. But I have such high standards for a man, that I cannot believe there is a man like that. It would take a true miracle of God to actually send me a man with all the values I want. Is it right or ok to ask God of a spouse with specific values, or are we supposed to be open and grateful for whatever He sends??

[@AskDrBetters_MARKINCMinistries]

Thank you for submitting your question. It was selected and answered in a recent video we released in May. Hope it helps!

[@SpongeBobSquarePants-zu3qt]

Sorry but your standards are unrealistic. No man will ever tick every box.

[@johnlocke4670]

I'm 25 and still single. I have been wanting to meet the right person for a while now. I find that it's difficult for me to try to connect with other Christian girls at my church because we always seem busy. That, and I feel like I'm not that best at socializing and connecting with people(I have a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome). It's even harder for me to talk to a girl if I like her. I've dated a few girls before, but they never lasted that long. My first relationship was my longest relationship(3 months). But this relationship took place before I was a Christian. I've been trying to stay busy. I teach apologetics class, Christian Philosophy/Theology at my church and sometimes, I get the feeling that I am actually doing a good job for God as a single person and this frightens me, because I don't want to be single. This makes me feel selfish because although I do like serving God, I still have unfulfilled desires in my heart that seem to never be filled no matter how much I keep praying for it. I really hope God hasn't destined me for singleness. I don't mind waiting, but I don't want to wait too long. I don't want to end up being old by the time I marry(I want be married no later than 32).

[@raramboko1805]

I believe that God is already giving you the desires of your heart ! Just be encouraged and know that waiting on God is never a waste of time.

[@ivanthelion2829]

I honestly feel like i was meant to be like Paul its best to stay in realtionship with God not everyone was meant to be married and im fine with that🙏🙏

[@Riley-rw3bs]

For 40 years, I have only picked men who use me.....but thankfully, God made me discerning....I'd rather be alone. This earthly love is conditional.

[@tammydriver5759]

I'm 52, and a widow. My husband died 1-23-18. I will be remaining single for the rest of my life.

[@VickyJ31520]

Tammy Driver I’m so sorry to hear that:-( will be praying for you.

[@DillonColtMusic]

How about starting a ministry for autistic people who are alone but not by choice. Singleness is not a gift for me. It's caused deep depression and honestly has caused me to lose faith.

[@theoneandonly6431]

I know why. Because he hates me. Simple as that.

[@inchristalone5765]

I really wanna get married.

[@laquan3661]

I know a man who is like in his late 40s early 50s and has never had a partner 🤯 just saying pursuit seems necessary

[@timekeeper8363]

I’m almost 57. I’ve always wanted to find her, but never did. I’ve met many ladies, but nothing ever clicked. I got tired of the rejection. Eventually, the desire waned and I don’t care anymore. I think that, but the time a man reaches my age, he begins to realize what a vain pursuit relationships are. Then, he really begins to realize what a treasure it is to be in Christ and focuses on HIM. There seems to be a negative stigma in the churches against single men, but my experience tells me not to care about the opinions of others regarding my status. To please Christ has become my only goal and I’ve reached contentment in that. I hope that this helps anyone who is struggling in this area. Blessings to all of the brethren. 🙏🙏🙏

[@ldsjfaithrideshareandinves6513]

@@timekeeper8363 agreed. Paul and Jesus both single. I'm enjoying my singlehood. I can give more to who God wants me to give to

[@junraywardleuterio2014]

what if i am single because i am rejected, denied, discarded, ignored for almost my life?

[@MeADow0201]

I gave myself a good long thought if God gave me this, would I appreciate it? It would probably be my cost of following Christ since I am safe and sheltered. But still being reminded that all things work together for the good of those who loves God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. It comforts me that at least at the end of life on earth, I will be rewarded for my faithful obedience and love for God and that He is good and does things for good..

[@mahoganychic841]

I hate being single and it consumes my thoughts. I pray for contentment often.

[@billw4805]

Powerful and so true

[@northwestdestiny1388]

Just found your channel. Great message but the background 'music' throughout is hard to take and distracting.

[@mariamalhotra8228]

If it bugs you there's no need to draw everyone's attention to it for it to bug them too. I hardly noticed it til I read your comment!!!!

[@lindstheteacher1611]

😬Idk what God has for me but I’m agreeing with this.

[@christiandenault7606]

Can anyone help me out? I'm 35 years old and never been in a truly healthy relationship in my life. I'm struggling with ADHD, autism and most recently, PTSD. My parents divorced nine years ago; my dad has severe health issues and my mom has control issues regarding my mental health, despite the fact that I've been on my own for 13 years. My church hasn't been very helpful, as my pastor doesn't have much experience with people with disabilities. Many of the members told me I shouldn't get married due to my disorders, but I'm feeling like I'm being punished for conditions I was born with and have no control over. I've been through a great deal of abuse throughout my life, and I'm lately starting to grow cold spiritually. Can anyone please help me with my dilemma?

[@gdust6579]

i feel the same im a 32 woman with autism. i have sinned with 10 guys cuz God allowed me to burn yet i never had a real boyfriend. ive been exploited for my loneliness. i needed a husband to protect me. i never was strong in faith tho. im walking away from christianity for God would not anserr my prayer for a hsband. also my parents told me i should never have children. my mom resents me and treats me like i dont deserve marriage. she bullied me for having autism and did not treat me right at all . ive been bullied at college, work, churches, and most of all by family and exploited for s*x the pain is so immense ive thought if i never get to get married before 40 that i will take my life. i do not trust a God who wants me to be alone when he knows i needed a husband to protect me from geting hurt by other men

[@gdust6579]

it is bullying for any church members to tell you not to get married. a church did that to me. (LBC in Holland MI ) I promptly left and never returned. when ever a christian tells me to accept being single and that God wants me to be. that is bullying you have to get outta away from those people asap. next time my mom bullies me over this i am leaving. its 1 thing for strangers but family should know beter cuz ive run away to other states in the US because the pain of singleness was so immense and the last thing you need is a church member or family telling you to live with it while they go back to their marriage.

[@mindfulbombshellbyleahspar3205]

Love that!

[@GodLovesYouAllTheTime]

I’m so glad I came across this video. This gives me a different biblical perspective because I was trying to lean on my own understanding of why I’m single at 38. It was troubling me so much. I felt like maybe something was wrong with me as a Christian ✝️ woman. I thank you so much! God Bless!! I will use my singleness to use my gift to advance the kingdom of God!

[@AskDrBetters_MARKINCMinistries]

So glad you found it helpful! Stay in the Word, keep your gaze transfixed on Jesus with open hands to whatever He has in plan for you. In His Grip!

[@TheKeetkeet66]

Ive never felt the need to become legally bound to another human being.

[@larrygratz5342]

Dr. bettors what does it mean in the Scriptures when it says knock and the door shall be open ask and you shall receive I get so many different views on that that I’m confused

[@RAWALITY]

Im single because God gave me a ugly face and he likes tall dark and handsome