Why you can't find a man to marry...

[@AnnaBeyOfficial]

Why do you think finding love is so hard today? Let me know in the comments below! Tomorrow I'm hosting a 5-day level up bootcamp, start your level up journey with me here: levelupbootcamp.me/

[@MBAinternetmktg]

Thank you, Anna! I signed up, looking forward to your bootcamp.

[@effygram8159]

Lack of morals is a big issue. Perhaps it’s better to seek meaning as happiness is fleeting by nature. It’s only because we have hardships that we can even recognize when we are happy.

[@gloriajj]

what lipstick are you wearing in this video?

[@kristenmoonrise]

Most of us weren't taught values or how to vet a partner or be a good partner!

[@hinkes234]

feminism. destroying the roles was tragic. Men and women are very different in psychology and emotional needs. They don't understand each other anymore.

[@artanloffler7823]

10 Things Money Can't Buy: 1. Good manners 2. Morality 3. Respect 4. Character 5. Common sense 6. Trust 7. Patience 8. Class 9. Integrity 10. Love

[@thehapagirl92]

Men have none

[@slydog81]

@@thehapagirl92 Maybe the men you choose to date.

[@elizabethpace1591]

True.

[@thayilakshmi]

@@thehapagirl92 The men you date have none.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree with all of the things you listed here.

[@theclassyconsultant.]

My mom says that people have too many options these days. Patience and working through problems is not prioritized enough, everyone just walks away the minute they find someone "better" (even if the other person was great and met their standards).

[@martinpalm5]

i would say it has do with never being bored, I'm old enough to remember having a date was the most exciting thing you can do. Now we the internet.. and minds TV shows, and gaming with friends.

[@kevinbrunswick1564]

your mother is a very smart woman

[@ilariamasullo3353]

Too many options? I broke up with my ex about 16 months ago and I literally haven't met anyone ever since. Anyone. Where are all these options??? 😂😂

[@theclassyconsultant.]

@@ilariamasullo3353 Online, there are so many people willing to date anyone. However, if you have standards, not everyone is an option, so you're probably doing it right😂

[@melissakennedy2849]

Your mom is right. There is something beautiful about working through problems together. It brings richness to a relationship and is s sign of maturity and growth as a person. I have found that men who have a relationship with Jesus Christ and are committed to Christian living and personal growth make good partners. I’m not saying they are perfect but they typically value a moral standard that seeks love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, and faithfulness. I have 32 years of marriage to testify that a God fearing man makes a wonderful life long partner. All these things make for a good mate. Remember no one is perfect and there are always exceptions because people are individuals with a free will to make their own decisions. Hope this helps!

[@ellenanttu]

I am 28 years old and I gave up on dating a long time ago and I’m so happy with my choice. I couldn’t find any decent man around me. They all cheated, were rude, lazy, no jobs, no future prospects. I got tired of teaching men how to treat me. I have a degree, a job, financial stability, friends, family, a dog, and travel a lot. I’m genuinely happier now than in any of the relationships I’ve ever been in .

[@lilifonteno30]

same.

[@KD-up3sz]

Sounds amazing. Go girl. 🥰

[@themissmay]

💯

[@serenadurden]

🔥

[@user-lt3yb4fm6q]

I feel the exact same way. Got my life in order, being happy and financially well I find that most men who want to date are mainly looking for a place to live, better than the one they have, or someone with money to pay their spending They seem great at first, but after 2-3 months it comes to surface that they can't pay their apartment, have a big gambling debt, alcohol habit or something else. I am done, just living my best life by myself now 😊

[@brandyward9677]

I found that many men would think texting and emailing counted as dates. They expected to sleep with you as soon as they met in person and would be surprised if you said no. Creepy.

[@nattie911]

So true! The entitlement of thinking ppl can just send you very sexualy explicit msgs straight from the get-go is sick. Previously I've literally deleted my account after only being on it for 15 mins bc I was getting sexuql msgs. And I don't have any sexual things on my profile or suggestive pics. Luckily now you can report and block ppl. When I first started dating you could only block ppl. I'm not a prude, but too much causal sex has caused ppl to have a lack of respect for themselves and their partners.

[@misswiktoria]

Sad reality and very scary! This is why meeting in public place is so important. The Universe Guru (Mina) here on YT discussed this so well in one of her recent videos… literally 90% of men on dating apps are dirty predators, there isn’t any nicer way to word it

[@irina413]

Exactly

[@brandyward9677]

@perspective917 That us a tough one. I certainly don't know how to go about it. Women are very gun shy now. We have been shot down so many times, when we find a guy as you describe yourself as, we are hard to convince. You WILL find her. You just may have to teach her that she is safe with you. Sorry, I wish it was never this way. May you be blessed with such a great woman for such a great man as yourself.

[@softsophisticate]

@@perspective917 Coming up for my 30 year wedding anniversary this year so here goes.........You need Chemistry too, that little spark, a certain natural something about you that a woman will like, you can't force it as all women are different. Maybe it is your natural smell, your smile, your voice, your manly hands, how she feels around you etc. and attraction is always subtly conveyed via the eyes. In a confident woman look for the twinkle, hair twirling, girly laughter, in a shy woman, the shy glance away. Look for the subtle signs. If you go straight in and ask for a date without checking out her subtle signs that she is interested, no wonder you are disappointed. Keep an eye out for that woman who keeps looking at you. She can't keep her eyes off of you. She wants to communicate her soul to you via her eyes. When you catch her looking, don't look away. She will likely look away and look back again, if she does, smile. Keep looking and see what happens. My husband and I still communicate through our eyes :) In the old days women had fans to flirt with, it was all very subtle and about flirting via the eyes and the fans were held in certain ways to convey messages if interested . Dating Apps have taken away the fun and subtlty. At the same time, don't try so hard, you sound like a catch but there has to be chemistry. Continue to ask women out, as you never know, but be kind and courteous to the women, not a pushover though, and eventually you may find one woman in particular who can't take her eyes off of you, better yet, you can't take your eyes off of her either. In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy was attracted by Miss Bennet's "fine set of eyes". I think it was because they sparkled with joie de vivre. She wasn't going to settle for any man, she was going to marry for love, and so she did. But to a man she detested to start with, but his good character (and wealth) eventually changed her mind.

[@LadyBugz108]

I met my boyfriend on Bumble. My friend met hers on Tinder. Finding love online is possible. Make sure to follow these safety tips until you feel like you can trust the man. 1. Always meet in public. 2. Do not meet at his house nor allow him to pick you up from your house. 3. Do not sit in the car with him alone. 4. High value men are respectful and virtuous. If he starts talking about sex early on, then he's disqualified. These men are creepy.

[@hiannahgus574]

A male friend of mine said that that ANY mention of sex in the first date or two is a test of your reaction and your boundaries. He is testing you to see how far he can push you to get sex and whether you will say no. Men like the chase, the challenge. Say “ yes” too early and you lose value in his eyes, because he feels that you could be saying yes to every man. You therefore aren’t special.

[@LadyBugz108]

@hiannahgus574 If the man is testing this, then I wonder how virtuous he is as well. Usually respectful men don't get sexual early on. Red flag to me. Maybe don't kick him to the curb yet, but watch him carefully.

[@CoryPlaysDrums]

I just about always do this. Dates have gone well, but lately I have been stood up and ghosted the last few times. Any insight on why girls plan a date then bail on those situations?

[@onlythehocine]

😂 okay okay !!! I was close to believing you 😂😂😂 ...

[@ilsedemolder3973]

@@onlythehocine What do you mean? Believed what?

[@linswins4292]

Dating apps and social media in general present the illusion of endless options but once you actually explore, you realise the dating pool is empty and quite time consuming. Unless you just want to sleep around, then dating apps are for you. But for those who want a life partner, it’s a lot harder

[@kristenmoonrise]

Yep out of like 30 men who may swipe right maybe 2 are worth talking to.

[@IntegrityMeansAll]

Way too dangerous and risky and full of down low guys

[@demarcusds95]

Time consuming for sure!

[@galrose7165]

Yeah, kinda sucks that the super successful and attractive men we select just sleep around and don't commit.. it's a huge waste of time, we'll never find a guy who is faithful.

[@ellen5276]

I always laugh at men who end good relationships because they think there is this great sea of options - what a silly thing to fall for. The grass is definitely not greener.

[@user-ln2kr4gq7y]

I feel like this also applies to friendships. Nowadays very few people want to invest time and effort to build up and nurture friendships and real connections. Somehow friendships became too "available", meeting new people all the time, meeting a lot of people but with the goal of having another connection on social media rather than a lifelong relationship.😢

[@Ana_Cecilia615]

True. Everyone adopted the myths, * "Friends come and go." * "You're only as good as the people you hang out with." * "It's lonely at the top." These are attitudes of a broken society, where we treat everyone we meet as disposable contingent upon how useful they are to us. The word narcissism is a buzz word for a reason right now. We all have evolved into the narcissism of social media, and as a result, fewer people are having strong, healthy connections around them. But it is never too late to realize this and adjust ourselves accordingly. I've been off instagram and Facebook for several months now as a detox project at first. Now I'm loving the lightness of my thoughts and the renewal for reading books as enjoyment. I've decided to keep it away all together and explore more positive building habits. I have hope.

[@2cut32handle]

@@Ana_Cecilia615 Your comment has given me hope that there are still some sane people left in this world ❤

[@Cococokieful]

All the touch and go lol

[@Addielp]

Omg exactly how I feel… I hear ppl complaining about not having friends yet they can’t compromise a little bit of their time to develop a friendship 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@MysticaFaery]

Being Swedish, the trend here is cohabiting and never marrying. A sad state of things. Having found faith eased my desperate energy and newfound strength to stand by my ideals. Still, looking for people with similar worldview is tough. 🇸🇪🤔

[@eeaotly]

Cohabiting and never marrying sounds like children who are not really convinced they want to mature but they still dream of being adults.

[@sarahkennedy1481]

I am a born again Christian looking over 25 years for a Christian male match

[@KRKimbler]

Same here in the U.S.

[@happygolucky9004]

I wonder if that's because the Nordic countries have a lot of social programs to give money to parents. It takes away the incentive to get married.

[@payattention31]

@@sarahkennedy1481Maybe check Christian dating sites?

[@alessandracampelli6090]

Online dating feels like objectification of human beings, to me this is the worst thing to meet and treat humans

[@marketmagus]

I agree it’s sexual marketing

[@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee]

They bring the worst traits in human. Shallowness, lust and lack of intelligence and communication skills. Definitely not a place for someone who's searching for a serious commitment

[@Cococokieful]

People become the tools of their tools. Lol!

[@paulinejackson5861]

Men need to stop treating women like sexual objects.

[@happym3008]

Yes I stil Pray to meet a natural way

[@reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql]

People lost morals and values; loyalty and decency are gone; our society is incredibly childish

[@RunDLC]

Right? So sad.

[@SartorialisticSavage65]

But not women. 😊😊😊

[@loveisthemostpowerfulforce1397]

I'm childish too but at least I'm doing my best to change that, and I've seen results.

[@alandrahartmann6437]

I met my husband on a dating app at a time that I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was so sick of toxic dating apps that I have up. I basically went to get a free meal (he is aware of this) and was like “this is how I am and this is what I want and if you don’t like it then I’m not for you”. Apparently he liked that as he was tired of games and not knowing what he was getting. 10 years later here we are still.

[@judithblue81]

Dating apps have changed drastically from 10 years ago. They are money traps for people looking for love

[@sibymiller]

I love this! I did the same in July 2020, we met on Tinder. He proposed in December and we got married in January 2021. Is up to you to find the right men for you. You just have to, like Anna said, date away! 😅 date many men at the same time (for dinner or lunch ONLY). It is a job that you are looking to fulfill, chose the best candidate.

[@sararichardson737]

I love it.

[@manasac3102]

lol so many of us women already did that already, plus dating was quite different 10 years back, apps started getting widely popular since around 2016 only

[@kandelika2902]

What we can learn from you? Say what you want directly. He can "take it or leave it". Very good advice, thanks.

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

Excellent video! Yes, I do see problems in modern dating because both men and women have unrealistic expectations for a partner AND have an overinflated opinion of themselves, and they confuse “settling” and “compromise”. “Compromise” means that you have a list of requirements for an ideal partner, but you pick some things that are negotiable while some things are dealbreakers. “Settling” means that you’ll just take any partner so you’re not alone, regardless of how toxic that partner is or how much you dislike that partner. A very small percentage of people on this earth are at the elite level (men with the 3-6s or women with the 3-Bs) - 90% of people on this earth have to compromise to not end up alone.

[@annakarina8417]

I don't know where are you from, but these days in many places in Europe unrealistic standard is wanting to get married not just dating for 5 years or more. When you add to this waiting to have sex till engagemt or God forbid marriage(!) the it makes it more unrealistic and when you add to this wanting to be stay at home mom to raise your kids fully by yourself then well.. Totally u realistic today. I'm in my mid 30s and I was only in two serious relationship with middle eastern men which sadly didn't work out due to mostly cultural differences and religion. I was never in relationship with white guy, especially never with one from my country, except dating. I'm not picky, I don't want millioner, I don't need travels, I don't need luxury, I don't need man to be tall or handsome. But standards I mentioned above (wanting marriage after 1,2 years max., be STHM, and sex only after engagement - I don't tell men this, but they just don't want to wait) is too much for a white European man.

[@kimberlys347]

perfectly said and I think I've been confusing the two (compromise vs settling) for a long time. This is really helpful. Sorry I'm out of the loop, what are the 3 Bs for women??

[@ioanafilipescu2327]

This comment is VERY VERY TRUE

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

@@kimberlys347 3-Bs in women can mean “beauty, brains, body” or “beauty, brains, bank”.

[@vklnew9824]

​@@annakarina8417 you let migrants pass you around?

[@King_Kassie]

The problem I have been encountering is that men want all the rewards with zero effort. I meet a guy and immediately he’s talking about sex and asking for photos 🤮 I’m completely burnt out by dating

[@carultch]

That's because perusing one person with effort, has been replaced with casting a wider net. Evidently, someone else will respond to that behavior, and reward that behavior, which is why the men are doing that. Pursuing one person with effort is not rewarded. Casting a wider net is rewarded.

[@ah5721]

eww! men lately are such creepos!

[@ssheikty2259]

Ayyyy that guy doesn't know what know real love I am male I hate it I respect woman of color

[@alexryan43244]

@@carultch but don't you think woman are responsible for hook up culture

[@Herozonex200]

You literally describe what the definition of a bad boy. All they want is sex lol. Theres plenty of good men that arent like that. Dont go to clubs or bars to look for those types of men.

[@gnd333]

The customer service analogy is 100% accurate 😂 well said Anna! I’m 25 and have given up on dating apps, I’m doing my best to try new things and try to meet someone naturally 🤞🏼

[@Julieta998]

ES LO MEJOR.

[@IntegrityMeansAll]

Pretty much all guys on dating apps are down low and definitely not worth it

[@rosewatersweettea]

@@IntegrityMeansAll Bingo. They’re on those apps for years too because nobody wants them.

[@IntegrityMeansAll]

@@rosewatersweettea 💯💯

[@_ladiosanegra]

its 100% over for your age😹if you do find a man you ahve to compete in wardrobe and nailpolish and earrings 😹

[@elinat2414]

I would say dating is also harder because of the breakdown of extended friendship, family and community networks. In the past, even people that married for love, usually met their partner through their friends, family or other social activities (e.g. church, local dances etc). Until about 60 years ago, randomly coming up to a stranger at a coffee shop or a grocery store was not the standard way to meet your significant other. Today, we spend much more time online than we do within our wider community. So for better or worse, it's completely normal for dating to have turned digital.

[@ah5721]

I met my husband at social event hosted by a church leader . I would have never met him one on one without it because of his introverted nature . Our congregation had 200 singles in a meat market and it was crazy .

[@noire9601]

Facts

[@chefnic4763]

We've become desensitized as a people due to technology. I people watch all the time. I see couples, families and friends at dinner and no one is talking. Everyone is scrolling on their phones. No intimacy. No bonding. Nothing. It's really sad. This generation is very cold. Ladies, please don't settle. Real connections are out there. ❤️

[@kristenmoonrise]

You're so right. I went out on a date on NYE and saw a couple at the next table sitting across from one another just scrolling their phones. My date and I were sitting side by side looking outwards, people watching while eating and our phones stayed off the table. It was weird to watch the other couple. Why even go out if you don't seem to enjoy one another's company?

[@chefnic4763]

@@kristenmoonrise exactly

[@SarahBaker-q9k]

Technology is killing us. And the rest of the planet.

[@erikjohnson8031]

No, this generation is NOT innovative. They use the inventions that my generation, Gen X invented.

[@stroNg2thaBoNe2thaMax]

Thank you. I'm trying not to lose hope.

[@ThoughtsToReality9999]

Im exactly what Anna said. I’d rather stay single FOREVER than settle with a man who isn’t on my level, or doesnt match my basic requirements both physical and emotional.

[@kimberlys347]

better high quality singleness than a low quality marriage.

[@ThoughtsToReality9999]

@@kimberlys347 exactly 🪻🌷

[@ravanjanae]

Yasss same ❤

[@anacorona2527]

Exactly. A beautiful life of being single, pampering ourselves.

[@raazyah]

Better single than a miserable marriage!

[@mariag2916]

Because people are far too shallow and self-absorbed. Grass is always greener, it's never too late to change your life etc. People have lost a set of values we once had more of.

[@edena2769]

I am 62, and I HATE dating apps. Never again. 100% scammers .

[@danhorton1877]

are you real?

[@Mark-in8ju]

20:10 Repeal the 19th

[@kinndah2519]

The best advice I can offer is to make sure of these 3 things: 1.) Equal Attraction 2.) Shared values (not beliefs but values) 3.) You actually LIKE each other. It may seem basic, but trust me when these 3 things are in order, you're more likely to be willing to work on everything else. You'll also be more willing to let the petty things go. You're more prone to building a friendship and all the factors a quality friendship/bond entails.

[@klarapetrijevcanin]

I'm def having problems with the first one.

[@Jayfinance92]

This is what women in the hood do. Doesn't matter if you are a criminal, in and out of jail, abuser or whatever. If a woman is sexually attracted to you, she'll call it "working through" as a justification to stay with you. Game is everything.

[@inexpertxennial6067]

Beliefs and values are closely related but distinct concepts: Beliefs: Beliefs are convictions or acceptance that something is true, real, or exists. They are often formed based on personal experiences, cultural upbringing, education, and exposure to various influences. Beliefs can be about a wide range of topics, including religious, political, scientific, or personal matters. Beliefs can be subject to change over time as new information is acquired or as individuals reassess their perspectives. Values: Values, on the other hand, refer to the principles, standards, or qualities that individuals or groups consider important and desirable. They guide behavior and decision-making by providing a framework for evaluating actions and choices. Values are deeply ingrained and influence attitudes, priorities, and goals. While beliefs may focus on what is true or real, values focus on what is considered morally or ethically right. Values are typically more stable and enduring than beliefs, forming the foundation of one's character and identity. In essence, beliefs are about what we perceive to be true or factual, while values are about what we consider to be important and worthy of pursuit in life.

[@jahsdiary]

I’m 22 and I feel like dating just gets harder the older I get,I deleted the dating apps and when I go out in public I don’t be on my phone,and a lot of men are in their feminine energy and want women to approach them. Also I’ve been leveling up and working on myself.

[@breannaw7254]

Men wanting to be approached always struck me as a strange phenomenon, I'm curious about what a man's perspective on it is since it doesn't seem enjoyable for them either

[@payattention31]

@@breannaw7254Agreed. My husband approached me first. And I enjoyed that. I want my man to be interested in me.

[@serenadurden]

Power to you

[@alexsmith-ob3lu]

I’m a young dude who watches Anna Bey videos every so often on old fashioned ideals. She has some interesting content compared with “Hoe_Math” and other creators. There are many factors, but here is what I’ve never dated as a 24 year old dude. 1) Personal finances. In a marriage, a man needs to be the bread winner and when the government is constantly destroying men wages (taxation and inflation), then that makes it almost impossible for any young dude to ask a young woman out. 2) Decline in men physical health. Here in the States, most men are morbidly obese or very overweight. I personally have no weight issues, and take care of my health (as do my fellow friends). However, there are many chemical disrupters, toxic food and birth control in the drinking water affecting men health and making your average man physically weaker. 3) Demographic decline. If you live in the USA, we have an inverted population pyramid. For every 1 young person, you’ll have 30 old people in their 50s. I work in the skilled trades, earn decent money, but everyone around from office staff to engineering to management are all 40+ years old.

[@salomeyul]

Girlll wait until you get to your 30s :D

[@tennilledebysingh5819]

I stopped online dating a few years ago, I'm open to natural dating. Living my best life as an emotionally healthy, grounded, stable person and professional is how I believe it will happen for me. I've also done personal work and without that I woud be miles behind. I'm also happy, I dont have negativity around men and relationships,or much else in life, I have positive expectations, I'm not desperate ,worried or stressed about the timing. I think perspective and outlook is a large part of the outcome.

[@2cut32handle]

I totally agree with you. I used to be the type that would be looking for a man everywhere I go even if it's just a local library. That's how desperate I was but it yielded me NO results. Now I have shifted my mindset to just enjoy every moment of my life & just going out for fun rather than being in hopes of meeting a man. Now, my life is much better & I feel more free

[@jordinlee4908]

My best friend has two daughters in their early twenties. Beautiful and accomplished, they have never had a steady boyfriend. I find it ironic that as a 61 year old woman, I have a long-term boyfriend. He is 56. Men my age grew up without the Internet and, in my experience, know how to court women. They value, understand, and appreciate relationships, and, have the patience to cultivate them. My boyfriend is my passionate best friend. I truly feel for the younger generation.

[@peregrination3643]

I've found it odd how my generation (thirties), I've rarely seen "gentlemanly" basic gestures, and it's always from a guy who has had a long-term girlfriend, if not a wife and family. It's like the women are teaching the skill now instead of being wooed by it. But men of previous generations are always polite to me. Which really bums me out, because the simple courtesies from my age group are actually the only things that I've felt romantically responsive to. It also makes me wonder how maybe the stereotype of older family members playing match maker made a big difference with meeting someone in the first place.

[@costenaensiliconvalley]

Unfortunately men after 50 years old are contaminated w this new online dating situation. Is sooo difficult to find a good man at any age nowadays 😒😒

[@rosewatersweettea]

My boyfriend is 51 so I know what you mean. There’s no way I’ll marry a man close to my age, they act like women!

[@piotr004]

As a young man (29), I find all your replies typical bs of women. All you can do is demanding from men and seeing only men's flaws. "Men my age grew up without the Internet and, in my experience, know how to court women. They value, understand, and appreciate relationships, and, have the patience to cultivate them." - yea, sure, everything is men's fault, obviously today's women are not faulty at all, they don't spit on men (ekhm, woke, feminism, me too, Amber Heard vs. Johnny Deep, robbing men on divorces)...

[@piotr004]

@@peregrination3643 It's women who killed chivalry. Who should be men chivalrous for? Continue be woke, feminist, cry about men being "toxic" all the time... Your comment is typical female bs, like women didn't change at all, and everything always only men's fault.

[@shandhaula]

Add the will of a personal career for women as we don't want to be let down with NOTHING at 50 for a 20 years-old chick or after cancer. History. Add easy. access to prnography destroying relationships. Add mental diseases (crazy violent partners, sociopaths rising).

[@AkikoMakiOfficial]

I have always favored the idea of meeting people in person. There are a number of times that I have met someone who initially would not be the type I’d be drawn to, only to find that they were funny or very fun to be with and then the ice is broken and a relationship has time to bud. It is so hard to judge a book by it’s cover. Dark hair, dark eyes and a touch of color to the skin is my type but, some fair skinned, blonde, blue eyed women have won me over with their charm. ❤

[@andjelabegovic]

We met on Tinder in 2022, got engaged two weeks ago 💍 Everything is possible, you just HAVE to know what you are looking for!! It's the KEY! ☺️ I wrote a list of things I look for in a partner and he ticks all the boxes. 😊

[@kristenmoonrise]

Congrats! I know Tinder gets a bad rep but I know two married couples who met on there 👍🏼

[@rosewatersweettea]

Congratulations! I met my man on Tinder too, it was definitely a diamond in the rough situation.

[@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee]

it's just a pure luck and nothing more to find someone there

[@etcwhatever]

​@@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee its not luck. The pretty ones find good men. Its the same as real life.

[@ellen5276]

A two-year relationship with a two-week engagement is proof of nothing other than the honeymoon stage. There is still a lot you don't know about each other. I have two long-term relationships (including a marriage) behind me, and when people would say this to me I would be so offended, but now I see it is true. I obviously hope you continue to be happy, but I just think it is too early to say "everything is possible".

[@Cheyannesorelle]

You have to narrow it down to someone who has the same values as you and are on the same level. You have to play it fair and be yourself. The issue is online dating apps offer never ending choices and everyone thinks the next date will be better or they‘ll find someone better. And you’ll never get to know someone properly with that mindset. You need to actually bother getting to know them, make time for them and let it naturally go from there. But people want it all too fast and easy these days…

[@kaunas888]

Don't expect perfection if you are not perfect yourself.

[@SunIsSunnySunnyIsSunny]

As a single gal, I'd love it if guys approached, all they do is stare and it's so frustrating as I want to be with a guy who has cultivated the art of courage- feeling the fear and saying hello anyway. Ditto on leaving the house to actually meet real people, it's something I have to work on.

[@Icewing10]

Nowadays men are called creeps and labeled as sexual harassers, why they don't approach.

[@lairofdionysus1943]

Only because you don't want to do any legwork or take any risks. It's clear that this will only translate into the relationship too, where the Man is always expected to do things. Expect to never get approached and for things to never change, because Men are done with this nonsense.

[@ayomibh]

Most guys are scarred already so , don't blame em too much

[@judithblue81]

@@lairofdionysus1943 you approaching a woman you are attracted to will do what? Be prepared to not have the woman you want for a long time

[@claudiavalencia2322]

Look at them and smile

[@janetstraw191]

I absolutely agree that you can meet men anywhere! Go out and just live your life, participate in things that are of interest to you. Do NOT have an ‘agenda’ (men smell desperation a mile away). Be open and upbeat and let your personality shine. I have met men waiting in a queue, at lectures and Art classes, the grocery store, post office, etc. When I was in my 30’s I met my husband in an elevator - both on our way to work downtown. We were married 18 months later. You don’t need a dating site!!😖

[@mepulley7913]

The one thing I will agree with you on your post is about Desperation. Yes that is a smell that reeks.

[@ariloves10]

Best wishes and congratulations on your love ❤❤

[@janetstraw191]

@@ariloves10 Thank you so much!🥰

[@lairofdionysus1943]

@@janetstraw191 All of this is a fake act, what you wrote. Which proves you don't know anything about Men and also are either deliberately or naively giving fake dating advice to other Women. Sad...

[@etcwhatever]

​@@lairofdionysus1943 shes probably pretty and very attractive. Such women can find a man anywhere.

[@sunflowermood829]

This video was literally what I needed it just came out after I closed my online dating app and was wondering if what I'm doing is even worth it

[@Lanafox1020]

I agree! Apps like Instagram, Tik Tok etc, have changed the monkey mind of many and have made them delusional, and the past 5 years had made it worst! Now they think regular women or men(but most of the time men) think we should now look like the filters or AI character in real life lol, it has become a laughable circus 😂

[@suzycanfly]

Just did the same exact thing yesterday. Deleted all my apps. I'm going to try the au natural way. When she said just go to places and don't look down at your cell (i do this sometimes), but just observe people make eye contact, that gave me an idea. I'm a bit shy but I know I can do it. I think I have a plan lol. I hope u find a plan that works for you!!! Whether it be online or au natural, don't give up! ❤❤❤❤

[@sunflowermood829]

thank you! @@suzycanfly I think I will still try my luck online, but not with dating apps but things where you can connect through a common interest online and in real life too. I think that also feels more natural than dating apps, they feel so inauthentic in a way if you know what I mean. Also good luck to you I hope you find your prince charming haha

[@suzycanfly]

@softsophisticate Thank you so much! Lol XD you made me blush. Happy flirting to you too! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@Mark-in8ju]

20:10 Repeal the 19th

[@kerryhorwitz4093]

From time to time, I have been required to advise female friends in getting a man. Given that I am a self-confessed list woman, I would first get out pen and paper. I would then ask the woman to tell me what they are looking for in a man. Reams of paper and an hour or so later, we had an exhaustive list. I would then ask the friend to tell me what sort of woman _that_ man would be looking for... Crickets. It had never even occurred to the woman to consider this. A simplistic example. If a man has political aspirations, he needs an intelligent woman who shares his political values. He also needs her to dress and present well in addition to immaculate good manners. A woman who curses, gets drunk, wears promiscuous style clothing, and who thinks gerrymandering is a football player need not apply. If you are currently yelling that what you want is the only relevant matter, yell on.... It is what it is.

[@ernestkhalimov748]

Could you elaborate a bit more?

[@jasmine_milkyflower]

So true. I meet many women who know what they want but don't even consider what this kind of man would need from them.

[@kerryhorwitz4093]

@@ernestkhalimov748 The reasoning behind it is complex, but modern women have very little concern about the needs of men. Another example, is boyfriends who don't like their girlfriends to do OnlyFans are often described as "controlling" or other negative names. Does a man not have a perfect right to not want the (perhaps) future mother of his children to publicly remove her clothes and perform se*ual acts with men online for money? Girls who do por*ography and/or pros*tuition should be warned about how damaging it is, not just shifting the moral blame onto men. Many young women want to marry, but have absolutely zero respect for men and their needs. Have I answered your question? May I ask what your views are on the points I have made?

[@crazyhegemon9638]

Awesome comment! Crickets....

[@hoobeydoobey1267]

Well said!

[@claudiaa.999]

I met a guy online and went on a date with him. Before meeting, I had no expectations (he didn’t seem my type) but still wanted to give him a try. I ended up liking him a lot, although he was 15 years older while I'm 24 and inexperienced, but one day out of nowhere he told me he still talked to his toxic ex often (and the girl looked eerily similar to me, just older) and I realised he was emotionally unavailable. He tried gaslighting me into staying in this situationship but I still respectfully walked away, although it hurt. I know I deserve better than being played, but still... Not even having no expectations is enough these days.

[@etcwhatever]

A similar thing hapenned to me. I learned my lesson.

[@PM-jm5km]

You need someone your own age

[@jessicahitchens6926]

Any mature man talking to a young 24 year old isn't emotionally available or mature. Probably go 5-7 years older max.

[@TheGoldenCapstone]

​@@jessicahitchens6926 You're just saying that because you're older and they dont prefer you. You have no idea whats in the hearts and minds of men so just stop embarrassing yourself. Two consenting adults can have whatever relationship they want without you trying to butt in and control it.

[@somethingclever2]

Because no one wants an actual person. Everyone wants a fantasy.

[@carolinesposto2946]

Fabulous! Over the years, I have loved seeing your channel evolve to include social commentary. In my opinion, what you say in videos along these lines is far more worthwhile than anything you might say about leveling up with fashion. I hope you continue in this direction. Let your intellect shine!

[@MyDanymax]

I was on some online dating apps for two years 5 years ago. My experience was somehow good, as I learned to know more the character of these men who actually want nothing but sex and money..... There were several that I personally met and not one of them were exactly what they mentioned in their profiles. I decided to cancel all the apps and would never do it again. I'd rather be *single* *forever* and I'm happy this way. However good luck ladies, but be extra careful.

[@payattention31]

À girlfriend of mine was going on APPs to date and she was in there 50s at that moment and she complained about man wanting sex mostly and or a sugar mommy. Good luck to you too.

[@kara_keegan_2242]

I feel ao discouraged to even try to find someone outside dating apps bcs you never get approached by guys naturally anymore and they are all so feminine now, but im more scared of always being alone and never finding someone while everyone else around me is magically finding their one

[@milaaanx4231]

You’re so right about men being feminine. I think it’s the culture. - men constantly get told that they have “toxic masculinity” for basic manly things they’re doing. Seems like they can’t even enjoy doing “manly activities” without being called out. Society is forcing men to be feminine, sadly. Leaves barely any “real” men out there.

[@rosewatersweettea]

Join a club, get a hobby and don’t spend your weekends indoors

[@juliettejuliette-bf8df]

I hear you ❤

[@ernestkhalimov748]

Nothing wrong with being alone

[@ilsedemolder3973]

​@@ernestkhalimov748Maybe for you. She clearly is not happy with being alone her whole life and that is perfectly okay.

[@did4999]

I met a man online and after 2-3 weeks chat we decided to meet. We had 2 live meeting and they were just amazing. He looks as enjoining my company and talked and walk long. After the secound date he stopped the communication with me. With no explanation and no obvious reason. I was shoked. Very demotivating

[@lairofdionysus1943]

Women have been doing this to Men for decades, and 95% of Women do it. Now you're finally getting a taste of what it feels like to be a Man and what we go through. I have no sympathy. Enjoy it.

[@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee]

Most men there only want to pump and dump easily

[@lubazak636]

Some people are afraid of commitment, are afraid of being emotionally involved. His behavior has nothing to do with you, most likely.

[@PM-jm5km]

@@lubazak636 No, looks like he found another

[@venusbby]

He probably wasn’t ready to go exclusive or serious, maybe he felt the same way but he didn’t wanna go steady yet

[@sarahkennedy1481]

Agree on all of this. I have found liars, fantasist, scammers, married men, men with bad mental health, men who looks years older, men looking for a woman to keep her. I advise women in 30 not to tarry as only gets harder over 40 50 etc....😮

[@TheGoldenCapstone]

Yeah and guess what? Men find all those same types of women out there too.

[@LucianaCristinadeOliveira]

My biggest problem is actually meeting men in person. I had only three dates in 2023. So hard to leave dating app to sit on a table. Troublesome.

[@nicolaaszeven]

Three in one year? That is a great score!

[@jessicahitchens6926]

No it's not.. its terrible.

[@omotayosatuyi252]

The date doesn't always have to be getting coffee or getting something to eat make the date something that both of you will enjoy

[@Jay-ef2ii]

@@nicolaaszeven She is probably very picky! June 2024 USA

[@KRKimbler]

Totally agree with you, Anna! Dating is awful. The last time I online dated was 2020, just before the pandemic. I'm 47 and have lived a full life thus far, but even I was shocked and disgusted by how forward most men my age are. It's like back off, buddy. I'm not here to casually sleep around. To answer your question about why it feels hard to find love these days, I think living in the age of instant gratification has a lot to do with it. True love takes time to develop while getting to know a person. That's also hard to do because everyone plays the field while online dating and we do ditch people easily because the dating field is so vast. Although I'm not currently looking for a partner, I will say (that as a lawyer) it has also felt hard to find someone as smart and educated as I am. Because of that, it almost always felt like I was dating down, which posed an interesting paradox since I was never interested in dating a workaholic either. Not looking to date feels fortunate.

[@lairofdionysus1943]

LOL. Enjoy staying single. What a mess u r

[@corina6772]

I’m in a high paying profession as well Let’s not forget about the guys who are successful and educated but act like gods gift to women! 🙄 narcs

[@cUser691]

@KRKimbler Your comment resonated w/ me on several levels. 1)Overly forward 2) Instant gratification. Being formally professionally accomplished makes it even more complex to find a suitable, even-keeled, and respectful partner. Greetings from Chicago 🪴

[@lairofdionysus1943]

@@corina6772 You're just projecting...

[@corina6772]

@@lairofdionysus1943 you think so? I don’t think so

[@MariaRamosDance]

I met my husband through a dating app. Your tips are so good. But I’d add just one thing and to me it’s the MOST important thing. Coming from a nonbeliever in the past. The moment I became aware and allowed God into my life (even being curious & simply tapping into my curiosity) many doors opened for me. Once I realized that LIFE is so much more than myself, I met my soulmate, my soldier, my hero. He believes in God and we are learning more and more together. Life, today, is HARD. Look for the one thing that’s been around and created it all to find your answers. It won’t be right away but starting your path is the only way.

[@SereyBlume]

I just moved to a city with 150k citizens and it feels so refreshing and relaxing. Not only is this city known for its beauty! Can't wait to meet new people and look around and be open to possible new beginnings ☺

[@SereyBlume]

Thanks! To you too 😊

[@Rosalie-ct8mi]

I also would love to moce to a beautiful village, which city is known for it's beauty? Bordeaux?

[@SereyBlume]

@@Rosalie-ct8mi the I moved is Heidelberg in Germany. It’s truly beautiful 🙏🏼

[@XeniaMinakov]

I really enjoy the direction you are taking with your content. Thank you for talking about the deeper topics! 💞

[@YourPainting1]

I’m recently single at 31 after a 6.5 year relationship. No kids, no ring. I had to end it due to these issues. Why I allowed him to lead me on for so long? I loved him. Now that I’m out dating again, I’ve realized that dating has changed almost entirely. Dating apps were a thing back when I was single in 2016, but I feel as though it’s entirely taken over the whole dating process. It’s not fun and I’m just debating on being single for forever.

[@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee]

Date multiple men at the same time and keep your options open. Don't get easily attached to the first guy that appears and good luck

[@jsuisabelle1249]

How did you leave him ? Do you miss him

[@YourPainting1]

@@jsuisabelle1249 It wasn’t like a spur of the moment decision. Around year 4 I became curious as to what he actually wanted out of the relationship since I had made it clear when we started dating that I date to build a true relationship, not for fun and he seemed to understand that. I reached my breaking point when he planned a trip to Florida keys with his friends in August and hadn’t bothered to plan any of our vacations, it was always me. I let him go on his trip and have his fun and when he came home I sat him down and told him how I was feeling. Instead of empathizing or trying to see my point of view, he said something along the lines of “I can’t ever have fun and enjoy myself” and that was the moment I knew he saw me as an anchor and not a wife. I broke up with him that night and we stayed in separate bedrooms for a week until he found his own apartment. That was in October (yes, right before the holidays 🥲). We still talk here and there and I do still love him and miss him, but the lack of commitment and priorities just completely turned me off.

[@alexsmith-ob3lu]

Good luck finding a husband…

[@ninabussmann3749]

My colleague told me about her love-life and she had almost the same background as you, broke up with her bf for 11 years at the age of 31. A few months later she met her now-husband and now she’s 39 and happily married with two kids and a house. Don’t worry x

[@jose-pie3055]

I met my husband on a Christian dating app. In my bio I made it clear what my beliefs were, what I wanted in life and who I was as a person. I talked to probably 10 men and only a few passed the sniff test. I met my husband the first day I had the app and he stayed consistent and we started talking every day. We had a.long distance relationship and were married a year later. We have the happiest marriage and a beautiful baby boy! Moral of the story is be very upfront and honest about your intentions, interests and beliefs, and don't compromise on them whether you're in person or on an app.

[@projectgenes1s]

I'm 45 and gave up. Couldn't meet anyone online and despite being quite an active and outgoing person, I still don't meet any men in the real world, and my friends have no men to introduce me to either because they are all single. I've accepted now that's life!

[@pjaine454]

Same

[@someone-ji2zb]

May not apply to you, but understand that there are tons of men who do want marriage but wont ever be successful financially. "The grass is always greener" mentality is a plague and this obsession with luxury has doomed modern day society.

[@UserAnon4433]

😂😂😂😂

[@UserAnon4433]

So sed. Hope you enjoyed your youth with Chad atleast

[@Sky10811]

same

[@zoranabanana]

From my past experiences, men just want instant gratification they don’t even want to commit. They want the relationship “things” without actually calling it a relationship 🙄 the issue lies in people are egotistical and selfish.

[@h8h215]

The million dollar question is, do you give it to them? As you describes these are events that happened in your past so the answer is yes you give them what they seek, this is why the s3xual liberation movement was a net negative, if women are allowed to sleep with who ever they want whenever they want you change the behaviours of men as a whole in a negative way, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

[@lifeneverfeltsogood]

100% true, that’s the way it is with them. They are immature and selfish.

[@annakarina8417]

​@@h8h215I don't give them. I wait till engagement with sex (i don't tell men this, it's my boundary). And you know what? I'm single long time and I date a lot, men I met didn't want to wait or they were simply not that interested. For all of us it's difficult to find true love.

[@SartorialisticSavage65]

So you mean Chad. If a guy has a good match, he stays. Most men CANNOT even live the life you speak of.

[@christianaal.9761]

I love this kind of video where you dive into social problems and share your opinion on them.

[@ladymajica4268]

Dating for me has been so hard from the beginning, no one was ever interested in me growing up...in my late 20s i was told i should settle down instead of focusing on work, so i signed up to a dating site 😔 the worse thing i ever did, i thought i did my due diligence...met a well spoken, kind man that was going through a divorce with his so called wicked ex wife...not long after I found out i was pregnant, got told its not his and he wants nothing to do with us...now I'm 36 with a 9 year old, only dated once in the 9 years but now being told thats my life over, ill never be a wife or have any more children. Now i feel i let my daughter down by keeping her due to not feeling comfortable being a murderer and she'll probably have the same problem as me because shes come from a broken household. I hope its not the case for her...I wanted to set a good example for my daughter but clearly my stupidity and naiveness has set her up to fail too. I wish there was more talks like this growing up because I could have been a better example. Thank you for sharing this content, i hope that it helps more young women 💯💖✨🙏✨

[@lifeneverfeltsogood]

Don’t blame yourself, dear 🥹 It hurts to read this. You seem like a very kind and loving person. The love you give to your daughter matters the most and being a single parent is so much better than raising a kid with bad father. There are many men who are single parents too or those who don’t mind marrying a woman with a kid, because they are simply mature enough to understand the situation. Someone very close to me found her love at your age or later, with two kids. She has a good husband and now they have two kids of their own. You didn’t do anything wrong, somebody used your goodness.

[@annakarina8417]

Girl, you are young and beautiful! You will meet your man, just open for love. And for your daughter, teach her self worth and your past mistakes so she will be smar young!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

This was a very interesting topic to discuss. And it's very important to discuss it. Too often, both men and women are spoiled for choice. And when things don't seem to be working out, instead of trying to find a solution, they just start looking for a way out and find someone better. Far easier than just working on the relationship, but they don't realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and you'll never really understand how great you have it until what you have is gone. The online dating doesn't really help matters.

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

You are correct. With online dating, it’s easier to trade in the date because there are 5 other people waiting to date that individual.

[@ryuhoshi3419]

Only a very small percentage of so called high value men have abundance... Most men don't really have much choice

[@peternincompoop9553]

As an introvert, I'm totally fine with everyone walking around with earbuds & their eyes glued to the screen. It means they won't attempt to interact with me. Pure bliss!

[@TheRubyFeline]

That's a trauma response, not introversion.

[@chrystianaw8256]

I'm introverted too but this isn't normal.

[@RealMusicCloud]

Im an extreme of introversion and what you are describing is anxiously avoidant. Unfortunately that could be very handicapping in life, i wish you the best!

[@alexviolett]

I think the fundamental reason is that because there seems to be unlimited choice (there isn't), people expect others to come into their life as already perfect with no need to work on anything. This creates inability to choose "good enough for me and make it better together" and instead puts everyone into a chase of an imaginary "perfect partner". Essentially we are living in a culture today that promotes the motto "get everything today and not pay any price for it". The problem is the best things in life (be it relationships, work, self-actualisation, parenting) ALWAYS come through commitment, dedication and hard work. That's just the law of life, which we decided we can change. I personally just came out of a situationship several days ago, in which I never intended to find myself in the first place. But this story taught me that it actually doesn't even matter that I know what I want (I did know what I wanted from that relationship and said it very soon) - if the other person fails to give you proper honest feedback and communicate, nothing will work. Another hindrance is the current obsession with polyamory, casual hookups, FWB and all these kinds of things. I mean if two people are on the same page about the things they want, fundamentally I don't care. But from the literature I've read my understanding is that only maybe 1% of population is truly psychologically wired to live that lifestyle. For the rest of us mortals it brings nothing but commitment issues, inability to build meaningful emotional connections and this illusion of always having the next best choice

[@edwardlovrr]

My biggest boundary that I am not willing to compromise is p*rnography turns out A LOT of men watch it. I’ve been dumped because of it. I am honest with all the men I’ve dated about it all of them left me. I would rather stay single tbh I’m mentally better 😅

[@sxsx5951]

Why is p0rn bothering you? Are you jealous of actresses?

[@Lja77613]

@@sxsx5951the problem is that it fu**s with your brain chemistry and destroys relationships in one way or another. Also it is morally wrong and disrespectful.

[@awsambdaman]

I’m with you on that. I’m a man who’s struggled with that issue and my wife has often brought up that she can “feel” when I watched it. I could tell what she was talking about, my energy was different and I wasn’t as in touch with her. I wasn’t desiring intimacy. A lottttt of men have this problem and I wish more people would discuss it, and it’s effects on female partners

[@TheGoldenCapstone]

Turns out even more women sell it though...

[@edwardlovrr]

@@TheGoldenCapstone they sell it because men consume it lol. The p*rn industry exists because of men.

[@tatianasouza2361]

What our society needs is God and faith. Also, people need to stop being self centred and start to be more of service to others so that they can have a change in perspective in life, which will cause them to find reasons to be grateful and to abandone the victimhood mentality.

[@h8h215]

Individualism is on the rise, while i dont believe in god and love a good debate on the subject i always hold my hand up to the fact that religious communities bring people together in an objective way whereas secular communities fail. The more free we are the more selfish we become.

[@etcwhatever]

I agree with you.

[@Zuzzamma]

Anna, I really wish that yiu've added the huge impact of a hookup culture that has on men, makeing "open relationships" possible, which means that -again, MEN are able to get sexual benefits without commiting, and also the low effort and non pursuing the woman that they are seeing, because men have become so feminine - more than women actually.

[@JenX422]

If I could like your comment 100 times I would. Yes.. the chemicals in food/water and being dumped on us by chemtrails as well as the garbage western culture has feminized (pussified) men. The only thing masculine about them is they want to use their genitals for sex, but beyond that, are not providers or protectors, honest or trustworthy most often. They use their adult male bodies, but havent become men. Porn, video games, social media have allowed the Peter Pan Syndrome of never wanting to be men and the responsibility of a relationship. They just want easy "kitty" on demand then want it to go home after

[@kuramacabre]

The trick of open relationships is that the female partner can also get involved with other men. Just sit back as you get approached by multiple men while he squeals for not being able to nail one. It's hysterical.

[@cydoniemiles1535]

Moving out of the big cities is such good advice and this key is what worked for me. The city men usually avoid commitment at all costs, and who can blame them? They are facing the same paradox of choice we are.

[@mepulley7913]

Good point.

[@chrystianaw8256]

Big cities foster unnatural behaviour in people

[@loislee2895]

Doesn't work in rural areas either.

[@SartorialisticSavage65]

Noooooo city women avoid most men and definitely avoid commitment. Chad, Tyrone and Fukkboiz avoid commitment though. And we have the stats to back up how much you like them.

[@kuramacabre]

Except that their paradox of choice involved 10 women that they matched with after swiping right on everyone and then never getting laid lmao.

[@myworldofbranchyz8895]

Anna, it is great to have you guiding single people in this messed up world. You just speak my mind as a non-single person seeing the hardships my single friends go through.

[@mars5498]

I met my husband on tinder, because I was studying too much back then, and he was working too much. My groupmates were only girls, his colleagues were mostly men. And we are absolutely happy now. But talking about dating apps in general - I had only good experience. All the dates I had from there were really great and interesting people.

[@etcwhatever]

You had good experiences only because you are pretty. Thank God for that. The ones like me only get horrible men. I gave up. Be blessed.

[@PM-jm5km]

Don't say this. I have seen pretty women with terrible men. But, what's 'terrible'? Personallly i focus more on the personality, if we are compatible or similiar and if he is a good person. This is the most important.

[@NoName-oh6dn]

I know women who met their soulmates online . It has nothing to do with age , preferences , choices, … there is no formula! Yes women should invest in themselves and be classy but unfortunately it doesn’t give you guarantee that you will be with a high value man and be his wife one day. You can’t control certain things .

[@veronicasuarez1033]

Tried Tinder a couple of years ago and honestly got bored, prefer to interact with people in real life thank you

[@ulie8009]

I know for a fact that I have dating app PTSD, and I've been off of dating apps for years. It takes a lot of work and time and constant efforts to heal from that experience, and I don't think I ever will. I went onto dating app thinking I was a clean slate. But soon I developed so much toxic behavior myself. I treated others the way others treated me. Because we are all connected. Our energy gets affected by others, then we turn around affecting others with the tainted energy So it's just a very toxic circle, and I was very much a part of that, I was no victim. Realizing the kind of person I was becoming, I just made the decision to quit all together. Unfortunately, not the majority of people realize how dating apps are affecting their mental health. How dating apps are shaping, altering our world views, values, our behavior, our energy, etc. So dating is almost impossible on or off of dating apps. I have more deep rooted triggers that I didn't have before dating apps. And I know there are many more like me...

[@princebuster93]

@ ulie, well done, so refreshing to hear someone take responsibility and admit they where contributing to something negative and destructive , instead of blaming everyone else. You made a good decision and walked away from it. That’s called maturity and realising you deserve and want better relationships, God bless you ❤

[@floshi6519]

The the most wise answer I've ever seen on social media.

[@nehasharma2179]

I am 32, just got dumped over text by someone whom i dated for about 2 months. Met via an app. Why did i get dumped? Oh well, because I kind of outlined my boundaries to him. And boom, after two days he said I am amazing and blah blah but not what he is looking for. I am happy that I didnt waste a lot of time on him. It felt like till the time I am laughing, all is good but the moment I called out his BS. He backed off.

[@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee]

Outline your boundaries soon after you start to chat with them. so you won't lose your precious time on assholes. there will be a lots of ghosting and blocking but you won't lose your time and energy on dates and chatting with idiots who offer nothing in return

[@omnipotentwiz5101]

You did him a favour.

[@someone-ji2zb]

Ok... why don't you explain this stuff early on? Shouldn't be taking months to get to that point if your intention is to seek marriage. Otherwise you are just playing moronic games.

[@nehasharma2179]

@@someone-ji2zb - Are you an idiot? Where did I say my intention wasn't clear? It was clear from the first meeting.

[@sunfish4095]

What boundaries did you mention?

[@Atheria444]

I've totally given up at my age. Online dating is like creepy shopping to me and so superficial. I need a soul connection...a soul recognition. Yes, that can happen. Having a couple of things in common is not remotely enough. And, there are WAY more women then men where I live. Thankfully, I'm fine on my own. But it REALLY bugs me when someone says, "I don't understand why you're single." There's no one to date who is interesting and I don't meet anyone! Okay, done venting.

[@h8h215]

Why not relocate?

[@Atheria444]

I am hoping to, but have a very good job. I'll take a huge pay cut, most likely...sigh. @@h8h215

[@h8h215]

​@@Atheria444i understand and hope you choose well what ever your decision may be.

[@Marty_YouTuber]

@@Atheria444 i'm curious how old you actually are, no offense but you aren't in your twenties anymore like me. and you seem quite picky. maybe you could choose better makeup and dress sexier and then guys will be more into you.

[@Marty_YouTuber]

@@Atheria444 i'm curious how old you actually are, no offense but you aren't in your twenties anymore like me. and you seem quite picky. maybe you could choose better makeup and dress sexier and then guys will be more into you.

[@barbarahJ.]

I completely agree with what you say. Although also the more you grow as a person and your self-esteem grows, the less need you feel to have a partner. I've been single for two years and I haven't been with any man (not even intimately) and I don't miss it. In fact I have never felt so full and happy 🥂

[@vklnew9824]

Poorly aged white ♀️

[@PM-jm5km]

Me too. And very happy.

[@barbarahJ.]

@@PM-jm5km for single and happy women🥂

[@IolandeMelody]

I said exactly the same thing in my video (The dark truth about Tinder) about women being less focussed on a man’s looks… and then another KZbinr called Lorry Hill flamed me in the comments claiming that women are apparently MORE focussed on how men look than vice versa. Needless to say, I’m glad we’re on the same page. Love your videos Anna 🙏🏾

[@TomTwain]

@iOLANDEMELODY Lorry Hill is "Shallow Hal"...🤣

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

I agree with you to a point. Women DO consider how he looks. Women pick men who make a nice appearance over the men who look sloppy or is dressed in a niche outfit (ex: posting a picture of himself wearing a cosplay outfit). This is why there are broke dusties who have multiple baby mamas that STILL EASILY get women. If that broke dusty looks like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson or Joe Mangianello, he gets MORE women than the average looking dude with a decent job and great personality.

[@thedevilandhertrumpets4268]

@IolandeMelody How awful she flamed you. I’ve watched some of her videos, and she’s so shocking obsessed with her own appearance and plastic surgery: She ruined her face, in my opinion, and just seems shallow af.

[@cynicist8114]

Women care about looks just as much as men, but you also care about many other attributes after that. Men care mostly about looks and a pleasant demeanor. In reality, you only consider other attributes for men who are already attractive. Anyone who doesn't make the cut is invisible to you.

[@Kervath]

How do you square the circle of women obsessing over looks via makeup and fashion with them apparently not caring about how men look? Blind liar. Women think 80% of men are below average.

[@amandamadaci7797]

It was strangely soothing listening to you talking about a topic I'm almost not interested in at all. But now I think about the guy I met last year that looks like I will never see again and my heart cries

[@mepulley7913]

Thank You so much for your definition of "settling". I came to a similar definition as I got older and came to realize my needs getting met was more important than "packaging".

[@erikag7334]

I just can’t believe dating has come to this

[@sbella6719]

I was just thinking the exact same thing!

[@softsophisticate]

Yes where is all the excitement, the romance?

[@ivancheeeeeeeeeeee]

it has just came up to arranging quick " pump and dump sessions" and searching for the next toy to play with

[@unc1221]

You must be Gen x. Blame your generation

[@erikag7334]

@@unc1221 I’m a millennial actually

[@ioanafilipescu2327]

I think the no 1 reason is lack of connection because of our very agitated lifestyle nowadays, you’re no 1 point as well on this list; and no 2 for me is clearly the unrealistic expectations we ALL or most of us seem to have these days. I’m glad you said that and I love how you sustained your argument because yes, I see that a lot of times, women in the dating/ femininity community basically say ‘all women, regardless of how they look, CAN find a millionnaire or whatever, which is very UNTRUE. No, you cannot look however or do in life whatever etc and have that ‘ideal’ man or woman. Just like Anna said: you need to be on his/her level. In the femininity/dating community women seem to have forgotten that they themselves too HAVE TO BE ON HIS LEVEL, not just the other way around.

[@devilsadvocacy]

Finally someone who gets it 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@user-go2xi7zq5q]

Thank you for finally being a reasonable woman!

[@angijoy]

Very good advice on moving out of the city. I live in the country, not too far out from the city but it's quiet and calm. It is so much easier to meet people out here and form friendships than it was in the cities. Now I've met their families and friends, and been to parties with their extended friends. If you're single, it's a great way to meet other singles, many of whom have shared interests.

[@ilsedemolder3973]

What country do you live if i may ask?

[@saltandlight93]

The most shocking thing I've encountered while dating is undiagnosed mental illnesses. That was something. Makes you feel hopeless because someone can be a gentleman but if there's an undiagnosed mental illness it will destroy the joy in the relationship.

[@h8h215]

And what does an undiagnosed mental illness look like? If someone hasnt been diagnosed with adhd but you feel they have it is this reason to end things before the relationship goes any further?

[@Lady_N-e3o]

I give a man maximum 8 months to propose me (I also do not cohabit) If a guy is in love, he does it pretty quickly If he carries on dating and not marrying, to me it means only one- his feelings are not strong enough And I prefer breaking up after a certain period rather than cohabiting and dating with a man for years and one day watching him proposing another girl in a week

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

Excellent approach! Men know very quickly when they REALLY want to marry a woman (versus just taking any woman who will have him because he still benefits from it and he doesn’t want to be alone). They make their move FAST because they don’t want anyone else to get her. I’ve seen too many women end up brokenhearted because they spent YEARS with a man giving him wife benefits at girlfriend prices, only for him to leave her and MARRY another woman.

[@Rdm324]

Spot on. This reminds me of miss universe 2020, Andrea Meza. Her boyfriend recently proposed to her after 4 years of dating. I wouldn't have waited that long tbh. And I don't think a man truly in love would want to risk losing the woman he loves by making her wait years.

[@etcwhatever]

​@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Livingi was proposed to and the guy was still a nightmare. I do agree though on having a timeframe. Its important for women.

[@awsambdaman]

It’s good to have a deadline but to me this would scare me off. I’m 26 and married but I don’t think I’d like it if my wife said “you have 8 months to propose” I would probably cut her loose cause if she’s looking for that right away I’m not that guy. Most guys get married when they’re ready and found a decent woman, I think it has more to do with his headspace than the woman tbh

[@glamdawling]

You said a lot of truth, Anna. I’m personally in the camp of sick and tired of it. The last man I was romantically involved with I met organically. And he wasn’t it. I’m fed up. I’ve tried online dating too and that was a roller coaster I’ll never go on again. I’m fairing better right now being single, living my life to the fullest with my friends and family.

[@marysuze]

In my 70s, I always dated more than one guy at a time from teen into young adult when I met my husband. I feel certain that it was easier to tell that we were compatible because of my experiences. However, he only dated one woman before me so……..we are to be fifty years married in a few months.

[@vklnew9824]

You boomers are a pestilence

[@greenytaddict]

@thezoldics7648 why is that your business?

[@piotr004]

So you basically confessed to be a 304, while your husband was a decent man. Poor husband.

[@marysuze]

You missed the point. I was NOT having sex with these guys, I was doing old fashioned dating.

[@piotr004]

@@marysuze Really? It's hard to believe you, because you wrote, "However, he only dated one woman before me so…" like it was his flaw. Even if only dating, it is still shallow, because you are not trying to get to know a person deeply, you just prefer quantity like in candidates factory.

[@yeseniasanca9507]

Dear Anna, you are shining! I must say that your outside is reflecting your inside. 🥰

[@tiredsnailtrail]

I find the points made in this video so interesting because my own personal philosophy with dating and romance is "I will strive to emulate all of the characteristics I look for in a partner". So if I want someone who is good mannered, kind, attentive, loyal, hard working, etc. then I will work to be more like that myself, because I don't think it is fair to expect things of a partner that you aren't able or willing to do yourself (generally speaking).

[@junemstevens7]

Some old folks used to say that there is someone for everyone. When the right one comes along it will be very clear and you will know it. Giving it the test of time is the key.

[@h8h215]

Reminds me of an old god story, this is the short version The parable of the drowning man, also known as Two Boats and a Helicopter, is a short story, often told as a joke, most often about a devoutly Christian man, frequently a minister, who refuses several rescue attempts in the face of approaching floodwaters, each time telling the would-be rescuers that God will save him. After turning down the last, he drowns in the flood. After his death, the man meets God and asks why he did not intervene. God responds that he sent all the would-be rescuers to the man's aid on the expectation he would accept the help. Point being dont listen to this old tale you will miss out on potential opportunities.

[@someone-ji2zb]

Love is an action being taken. That is the reason there use to be someone for everyone. People use to CHOOSE to love another person no matter what, despite being poor or having flaws. The main point being that a person can choose to love anyone they want and learn to do so well. There is no 'chosen' one, but you can choose one yourself at any time, if you are willing to forsake more materialistic demands.

[@h8h215]

@@someone-ji2zb love is now a new foundation for relationships which is demonstrably faulty as a foundation to build a relationship on as love can change from day to day, values characteristics and obligations is what successful relationships are built on, not many people vet for these things they see a person who is attractive then want to reshape them to be the person they want them to be, i call this the beauty and the beast concept, the person may be attractive to you but they are a beast and you should run out of the castle not stay and try to change the person.

[@MarthaJDK]

My dear Anna. I think it is generally hard to find love, not just 2024. I appreciate everything, you have taught me so far🙂

[@VictoriaVlogz]

I am having a tough time in the dating realm myself. There just doesn't seem to be many good quality men out there anymore. I have been taking a lot of your advice over the years and I have developed into a very refined lady now I just need to find a gentleman on the same level.

[@shatakshipandey8014]

You attract something that you are , be calm the gentleman is being prepared for you

[@Michelle.A79]

Ana, in western countries women over 30’s unmarried and without children is more prevalent than in developing countries, where perhaps marriage is a cultural and provides economic & security for the family and the society. The same cannot be said for western countries because women are more independent and have their own financial security as well. That’s just my opinion I do agree that social media is definitely having an impact as well in finding the right person.

[@JenX422]

With the insane inflation happening in western countries, even 100K is not at all a livable wage. Most women I know earning north of 200K a year are struggling and cant qualify for a basic home now with 7% interest rates and average prices of 600K

[@ernestkhalimov748]

Statistically, those same women have an exactly 50% chance of settling down for the rest of their life, and about 80% of all women who end childless admit that it was unintentional, very fascinating

[@Aieshoo]

People are more interested in hookups than meaningful relationships.

[@Cheyannesorelle]

They are 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[@ferrerarah9454]

"men

[@carultch]

Translation: the men you put out for, are more interested in hook-ups than meaningful relationships.

[@michael10613]

@@carultch lol you gotta have a womanese degree to translete all these comments 🤣

[@RunDLC]

Why do people just want hook ups? I don’t understand and think it’s gross honestly. I killed all dating apps and social media years ago. It’s such a time waster and major source of disappointment.

[@Minimeowzilla]

100% paradox of choice! And decision fatigue! And yes we're just expected to have relationship skills etc without ever learning or being taught, and as a society we just lack mental health knowledge and education so much. And yes I recommend the book Date-onomics where it talks about there's a shortage of college-educated men but college educated women really want a partner with the same level of education, and yes NYC is notorious for having way more single women than men! Great video and you continue to produce such great content Anna! xoxo

[@justbelit]

I would use the term "childfree" over childless since most women are choosing not to have kids versus not being able to

[@samapattiyoga]

Thank you--I'll adopt that wording

[@sxsx5951]

Childless means you don't have children. Childfree sounds like children are some sort of prison you have escaped from. That is why mentally healthy people do not use it.

[@justbelit]

@sxsx5951 you may want to research that. Childless is deemed an insult to most women since it indicates wanting something one cannot have. According to research, childfree is more accepted since it does not outright indicate the circumstances surrounding the choice

[@sxsx5951]

@@justbelit Ok, So homeless people are actually homefree, because most of those sociopaths actually want to live on the streets. I will call them homefree so they can feel better about their wasted lives.

[@jaythenihilist4689]

That's not true. I think it was something like 80% of women who didn't end up having children, said that they wanted to have children. People live slower lives these days. Unfortunately for women, their biology doesn't change, and they only have a limited time to make that decision.

[@victorialandreville3848]

Anna, wow. Thank you, that was both uplifting and incredibly informative. I was trying to wash the dishes while listening and had to take a seat cause this was exactly what I needed to hear. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me this weekend and it's been a tough weekend because I was completely blind-sided and was in love. Yes I feel sad, yes I'm upset - but I'm not gonna give up. When I'm ready, I will go back to online dating (even though I REALLY dislike the idea of having to get back into it), but I appreciate your perspective on making it efficient and making it a numbers game. I'm an entrepreneur so I know it's a numbers game; I know that one more no is just another step to finding a yes. Even though in this moment, I feel defeated, I know I deserve to be with someone who loves me. So thank you Anna.

[@niewieder99]

Thank you Anna! This is all so true. Being realistic has meant so many more still high quality men are available to us! A relationship is a partnership. So go for the ‘stayer’ not the showman.

[@beab8738]

I don't want to settle. My definition of settling is if I have to force myself to really like a man, a job, a friendship. I am at this stage in life where my motto is if it's not an enthusiastic yes, it's not for me. I'm happy to stay single unless I meet a man than gets an enthusiastic yes from me.

[@Thrivinginthespotlight]

As an indie musician i used to feel like this was only a problem for everyone else because in my scene people still dated in person and met in person more than online but honestly ive met plenty of indie boys that are spoiled for choice also on these apps back when i was still dating. Two of them that i met in person didnt like how i looked in person. They didnt say it out loud but i could tell. Even these guys that were supposed to be more authentic and artistic got sucked into meeting girls online and feeling superior to regular women because theyre spoiled for choice with women with fake nails and 50 layers of foundation and not artsy girls anymore, or just trying to find the most perfect looking version of their dream girl to complete the package so they can make the purchase and not return the inventory.

[@laurencevermeulen8658]

This is the video I needed today 🙏 Thank you, Anna ❤ I’ve been watching your videos for years and you’ve inspired me so much!

[@Its.sweetWanderer]

Hey Anna, Thank you for the video. I've been following for a while now and you helped me level up appearance wise. So thank you. Unfortunalety, I don't agree with the idea of "settling". I feel like the main idea behind the video was to make the dating life better not worse. Women are already settling for enough bs. And I am aware that your audience is mainly women so you can't really change men or convince them to settle too, but here is where I drew the line; advising women to settle is only making things worse. Men need to step it up, instead of women stepping down. I would recommend women to not listen to this particular advise, especially if you are an amazing person. You deserve to be with an amazing person as well. Settling/ compromising is not healthy in a masuline/feminine dynamic. Thank you for this wonderful journey Anna.

[@awsambdaman]

Would you support a social movement to help men improve? Not in a shaming way at all, but in an encouraging and supportive way like society has generally done for women? Because I think this would help women’s option. Obviously I believe that helping men is good because men are people and deserve help and care, but the secondary effect would that it would create more attractive male partners for women? I don’t know why I rarely hear this idea. It seems some people think that we help men at the expense of women but I’m talking about helping men specifically and sure keep the programs for women.

[@Its.sweetWanderer]

@@awsambdaman First of all, it gives me hope to see that some men are considering improving. The thing is, as you said, it's beneficial for both men and women when men start glowing up. Yet, it's not women's job or responsibility, not because we don't care, but because it's the least effective approach. The reason why women are glowing up and improving is because there are great women (not society) out there inspiring us and teach us how to be better everyday. Women listen to podcasts and take change seriously, men nowadays are becoming lazy because they are a lot of pretty accessible women everywhere (internet, dating apps, cornvideos). Also an important factor is how involved dads are in raising their sons. Most masculine figures are absent in their own families, that's where all the problems start. If you want a piece of advice, stop listening to what most men tell u to do: going to the gym isn't going to fix your heart. Study your past or current relationships. Women mainly seek safety and stability. if you can provide both you will eventually feel like a man. Your self esteem as a man depends on what you accomplish not on how you look. Pick the right woman and she will take care of your appearance by influence. Trust me you got this!❤

[@Its.sweetWanderer]

@@awsambdaman also, would you feel great knowing that the person you are dating just "settled" for you? you will always feel insecure around this person and feel like you are not enough. The chances of them replacing u/cheating on you are pretty high too. You want to be with someone who appreciates you and chooses u every single day for the rest of your life. I know that appearances matter a lot. But, as a woman, i can tell you it only attracts superficial, immature girls or insecure women. You don't have to look like a model to have a fair chance with women. Focus on yourself first: get your money up, get fit to feel good not for women's validation, be selective of who you spend time with, and read and listen to men who have a vision AND have a Healthy relationship with their partners. As for physical glow-up, go to a good hairdresser and get a cut that suits your face shape. Get a casual/Chic minimalistic wardrobe. Dress like who you want to be instead of who you are now. And you will be unrecognizable in no time 😁

[@HesterLFurey]

I love this so much. I tried online dating very briefly. Too many weirdos, too little time. I'd rather live alone. I have a good life. I met my partner after a book signing of a friend

[@ih4630]

Step one… Stop watching so-called reality shows. Step two …delete your Facebook and Twitter accounts…. Step three. Go out into the real world and remember you’re not perfect. Life is about compromises.

[@rosaluzpower1783]

Exactly 😊

[@AM-wq2cz]

First your hair looks amazing. Second. You did a great job of explaining the importance of therapy and working towards secure relationships!

[@mmven1101]

I tried to do the dating app thing, but realised it is not for me. Even conventionally attractive looking guys do nothing for me. I felt like I am too picky and have too high standards. But I have realised I need to meet someone in real life and feel the chemistry, before I can feel attracted to someone.

[@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living]

It sounds like you’re demisexual. Dating apps are hard for demisexuals because looks don’t matter at all to them. They don’t feel an attraction unless there’s an emotional connection.

[@EtoCobra]

Genuine question, how do you feel that chemistry? I am asking because I don't trust people that easily.

[@emmarose7491]

This video made me realized that I'm not the problem. My ex is. My only fault is liking him too much that I accidentally put him on a pedestal which made him even more delusional and goes back to being addicted to swiping on dating apps to continue searching for ‘better'. Funny because I was the one who had to literally self talk myself into lowering my standards a bit before I could even accept him as my bf back then lmao

[@annakarina8417]

Never lower your standards.

[@AKR088]

@@annakarina8417 what standards?

[@MyaVilla88]

I enjoy being single because it feels free….. but I’m open to a relationship as well. I don’t necessarily care about high value man, but I want someone who is free spirited and kind. I’m a Scorpio, so I love passionately 😊♥️

[@felicitygrace5113]

Great video, Anna. Love how you openly address mental health and therapy. On the note of men and relationships, if women did not have sex with men so easily and set the standard that to have sex they have to be married there would be less casual sex, less children out of wedlock, and people more serious about their romantic relationship choice

[@AnthonyKellett]

I don't disagree with your main points. Your advice to women, on expectations and boundaries, is particularly on point. However, I think it's fair to say that the factors/benefits, which you apply to "men", actually only apply to the top 10% of men... or even fewer. Men swipe (whichever way is positive... sorry, I've never used an app 🤷🏼‍♂️) on more than 50% of women, whilst women swipe on less than 5% of men. 'Average' men have little or no chance. As a result, a small subset of men are swamped with choice, and (contrary to popular belief) not all women are '10s'! Sure, an attractive man will have sex with a '5' (or even a '3', if there's nothing better available at the time! 😔), but that only serves to give the woman a deluded self-perception. As a side-note - also contrary to popular opinion - such men are not 'high quality', in my opinion. I've actually refused women, because I knew there was no chance of a relationship and a brief hookup would be harmful to them, in all sorts of ways (not that they seemed to care!). Of course, there are exceptions, to every word above, but they're rare. As such, it's not worth gambling on finding the exceptions, in my opinion. By the way, all those 'options', that you say women have, come with consequences. Also, one point, on which I'd disagree, is that there are lots of "high value women". Having a successful career and money does not make a woman high value. Most high-quality men do not value those things; and men decide which women are high value (just as women decide who is a high value man). One final note, if I discovered a woman, that I was dating, was dating other men, she'd never see or hear from me again. No high value/quality man (that I've ever met) would tolerate that. Just some thoughts, which I hope are useful.

[@marketmagus]

Agreed! There’s not as many high value women as people think. Women have a lot more soul searching to do, and of course men aren’t exempt from that either. But this is indeed good food for the fowl

[@jockez3581]

Good comment! "High value" should be how you are as a person and not your net worth...

[@ryuhoshi3419]

Agree. Her advice lack male perspective. Generally, when selecting mates, females value looks and resources while males value looks and purity. Unfortunately a male higher at the value scale tends to score lower in loyalty. One female blind spot is that they relay high value male attributes to most men.

[@hollywarner4191]

I've enjoyed dating apps because I moved to Germany and they helped with meeting new people, and I will likely move to Geneva or Paris within the next few months and will definitely keep using them there, as these are all places where meeting people can be a challenge. However, I've learned to take them less seriously compared to in my early 20's (I'm 25, will be 26 soon.) I used to be more naive, like many of us are when we're younger, but now I've learned the importance of making my intentions clear and setting boundaries for myself. For so many men they now have this transactional approach to dating, or they focus on quantity over quality. Men do outnumber women on these apps but I do think women think more intentionally about who they are talking to, while men don't think as much. Especially in Europe, it's not as common to be exclusive right from the beginning, but I do think it's important to give each person the time and consideration they deserve. You will not know if someone is really a good fit for you if you are thinking about others at the same time.