Why You Don't Love Yourself

[@juliakristinamah]

Take a moment and give yourself a GOOD FOR ME for getting through hard things in your life.

[@Mushroom321-]

🤔😃❤ Thank You Julia, i've seen so many of your videos. What A GREAT idea.. This one is in the top 5 for sure.

[@juliakristinamah]

@@Mushroom321- so glad it connected. This is a topic I do feel really strongly about!

[@ogiyonkelesebane9756]

Julia i dnt like myself i feel like a failure i am depressed miserable unhappt in my life

[@mrngstar1]

@@ogiyonkelesebane9756 You have a beautiful name.

[@christopherpape4823]

What if I don't want to give myself a good for me?

[@leslieyancey5084]

It's so hard to love yourself when you have internalized verbal abuse. Thank you so much for this!

[@hannahf.572]

Leslie Yancey oh I’m sorry hunny

[@Mushroom321-]

exactly, Thank you,.. i can really resonate with you, sadly... 😔💔 I'm a "work in progress".. 😕 of " feeling worthy".. i tell myself "i am worthy... " 👍🏼😩

[@leslieyancey5084]

Hannah Fender thank you

[@Mushroom321-]

@@leslieyancey5084 Thank you, you too. hugs

[@juliakristinamah]

So glad it connected Leslie. It takes intention and effort, that's for sure - like all good things that are worth it ;-) Grateful you're here.

[@DeMafiaGirl]

self hate was born when our caregivers shamed us for being a certain way, and so we pushed that aspect away from us to be safe.

[@sav3dgirl194]

This is so true , its deeper than just a low self esteem. Its so much deeper than that. It comes from a deep flood of hurt and shame and bitterness

[@samanthabraybon56]

Being taught to please everyone else as a child...it's been this way all my life...I do not know how to show any attention to myself, esp. With confidence.

[@LoreMIpsum-vs6dx]

Exactly! This is the true answer. Throw out all this other BS and repeatedly try to quietly sit with those negative feelings until you psychologically metabolize them. Much harder than you might think.

[@anonymouseskimo8891]

@@LoreMIpsum-vs6dx This is true, I also gormandize derrière

[@AManofBalance]

Well, you can sit with negative feelings and let them go but, they’ll keep coming back again and again until you let go of the belief that is “generating” the negative feeling (in the first place).

[@HumansOfVR]

*_Happiness is hard work tbh. It takes awareness, dedication, and cultivation_*

[@juliakristinamah]

It takes work, that's for sure - but it doesn't have to be hard.

[@judyl.761]

Julia Kristina Counselling, I call bullsh*t. It’s very hard. That’s way not many are successful at it.

[@sannat-l8610]

Judy L. Happiness comes with compassion, gratitude, grace appreciation of small things in every day life. You can re-train your brain to scan for positive things and with practice it will make a difference. Believe me, I had to as I was suicidal. Xx

[@lllamasama]

@@sannat-l8610 yes. it is written in English. happiness is being greatful. im homeless. not much to be picky. i am thankful for every day even when i suffer. the stink, the mold, the sour sweat, the heat, and the bugs. its all soo terrible but what else do i have rn? i have what i can get. i appreciate i have it at all. the mess i keep getting myself into.

[@JohnM...]

@@sannat-l8610 is it normal to feel depressed when you are rewiring your brain for gratitude love and abundance? I'm doing thus, and the 'side effect' has become a really low mood :( It must have something to do with the rewiring of the receptors or synaptic connections. I've heard that when doing this you should accumulate new knowledge, as it strengthens the new pathways...

[@mskinner8102]

if I catch myself being verbally harsh to my self, I always say " BE GENTLE WITH YOUR SELF" you can immediately feel a sense of relief after saying these words.

[@Mushroom321-]

nice!, genius.. ☺

[@juliakristinamah]

Self-compassion at work - yes. This is everything.

[@silvergirl2847]

Like this a whole lot.

[@joyoverley5259]

Oh I want to remember this, my friends have asked me, why are you so hard on yourself. Being the baby with an extremely abused narcissist sister 10 years older. I learned if I bashed my self she wasn't as mean to me.

[@luciakelly6459]

I say would you be friends with someone that talks to you this way? No I would not. So why are you talking to you that way?

[@ShadowCatGambit]

1st: How Do You Talk To And About Yourself? 2:40 2nd: How Kind Are You Towards Yourself? Do You Take Care Of Yourself? 4:15 3rd: How Much Do You Listen To And Respect Yourself? 5:25 4th: Are You Building Trust With Yourself? How Do You Treat Yourself? 6:44 5th: How Do You Look At Yourself? 9:10 6th: Acknowledge How Far You've Come 12:28 7th: Being Mindful Of The Things We Allow Ourselves To Think On And Obsess On 14:08 (Think About The Ones You Care About And Trust, So That We Can Learn What It Is That Makes Us Happy And Esteemed With Them) - The Same Things That Build Relationships With Others Will Make A Better Relationship With Ourselves. I've started on the first one, and I'll say that I have NO problems with my physical appearance. I KNOW I'm a sexy man. I'm kind (thank the Lord), I'm long suffering, and I can acknowledge that I've come a long way from being terribly shy. Now I'm mostly just anxious (but it's still incredibly strong).

[@Clemsterful]

awesome bro!!! since last year I decided to face my anxiousness, you are not alone. I was so tired of it controlling my life so i force myself to sit and dig deeper. come to find out there were unresolved issues from the very pass that I've not worked through that I needed to do so. the truth will set you free:) that was what got me to take that step in counseling and with 2 core brothers who has been there for many years. since than, the anxiousness have continue to subside and I'm less fearful, its amazing.

[@ShadowCatGambit]

@@Clemsterful Would you tell me more about the issues that were unresolved? My parents had a divorce when I was young, and my mother is emotionally and psychologically abusive, and I think those thing led to a lack of confidence and insecurities that fed my anxiety.

[@Clemsterful]

@@ShadowCatGambit you are onto something bro. mine was my bad relationship with my dad who didnt even know how his way of parenting was effecting me emotionally. his control and anger is what drove me to think of killing myself back than and I thought I move on from that but the wound never healed. also he passed away when I was overseas and we never had a chance to have a proper goodbye and that drove me into destruction. also something happened at this school where I had no idea than was trauma. that is why when the door opened for me to have that safe place to face it and talk about it, it begin that healing process. I was scared when taking that step though as revisiting those memories left me weak and in pain but it was the best thing. it's important to find the right people to do this with or professionals I would suggest first that specialized in this type of therapy.

[@narimafanficfan]

Thank you for this beautiful summary!! you're being of great help! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! much love and appreciation!

[@RegineBrady]

Thank you!

[@jenshaw8085]

“Happiness is not a destination, it’s a decision” WOW, I like that 💙

[@kristenalbert2012]

Good For Me!! Since my 20's I decided to eat healthy, exercise and take care of myself mentally when my Dad passed at 42 from cancer. My goal was to live longer than he lived. I achieved that and I blame it on my strict regiment of eating clean and clean living. Four yrs ago 1 was diagnosed with Crohns Disease at 44 and I was devastated always say, why me. I've always taken care of my health, until now never got sick. I went through hell the first two years of my diagnosis. In two months I went fron 118lbs to 98lbs which ended up in the hospital for a week. I had to quit my job and I went home with a pic line in my chest that I had for 8 weeks. Was on ever drug imaginable. Had to basically learn how to walk again from lossing all my muscle tone. I have been in remission for the past 2 years. I gained all my weight back, I run every day and got my job and life back. Thank you making me see how far I have come and I should be proud of what I have overcome instead of being so hard on my myself for getting such a horrible disease. 💓

[@juliakristinamah]

Holy cow Siera - YES! You are incredible and have come SO far. GOOD for you.

[@Firuzeh]

Good for you Kristen! I really admire your love for yourself and your resilience.🌺👌🏼👌🏼♥️

[@mdatx2012]

I love what you said about how someone with the same "flaw " that you are beating yourself up about is out there feeling good about themselves. So true.

[@jenniechen24]

My mom always says it is not easy to love yourself! Most of the time we depend on other people to love ourselves. I will try to treat myself nicely!

[@veronicabruce2078]

Yeah on taking care of us spiritually, mentally & physically. Finally I love myself at 65! Yes, Julia!!

[@EliasJWhite]

"Happiness is a decision, not a destination." Thank you, I needed to hear that.

[@joshuaheilpern5743]

Hey! My name is Joshua Heilpern and ive been watching your videos for a couple of weeks now. I cried through this video. I want to say thank you, youre making a grand impact.

[@dejavu2531]

Same here..

[@Bloop2124]

Julia please do a video about how to start feeling your emotions again after a neglect in childhood. This topic is important and i value your word. Thanks for this video!

[@juliakristinamah]

Great suggestion - thanks for this Shlomi.

[@samanthabraybon56]

I would definitely watch that video also...it's much needed. Thank you.

[@zinagrillo1]

Yes please! 🙏

[@raiderlove5923]

Yes, please do that type of video.

[@Zanzimbozi]

An additional resource, you might be interested in The Language of Emotions. It’s very trauma-informed. Emotions are like a foreign language for me.

[@captain_finn]

When I look in the mirror, I recognize who is standing in front of me. But I don’t know who it is. Sorta feels like I’m not the person in the mirror. It’s like walking up to someone you recognize , but the both of you never had any type of relationship with each other and you both stare back at one another in silence.

[@HD-mg9ru]

Enjoying my own company and realizing I'm a Loving, creative, compassionate human. Great Strategies. It's true! It's not just a walk in the park.

[@juliakristinamah]

You are ALL of those things, and the more you allow yourself to connect with them, the more normal they will feel.

[@88omair]

I can be the most empathetic person to the people around me, but I'm an absolute monster to myself. Self loathing is extremely exhausting

[@لمىالشريف-غ8ك]

Thank you Julia! 💝💝 I think I'm going to talk more positively about myself. My strengths, how far I've come and how much I've grown. And be kind to myself, like the people I love and respect are to me.

[@juliakristinamah]

You absolutely deseve that from you.

[@MoetCristal]

I have the hardest time CONNECTING to my good strengths, talents, skills. Etc.

[@mikailyusufcelik770]

Proud of how I'm handling things I thought I was never able to handle x

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes!! GOOD for you.

[@frantucker608]

Negative self-talk - it's insidious! Thanks for the reminder!!

[@juliakristinamah]

Yup! It can sure be a doozy. I'm just about to record a really eye opening video about it - stay tuned for that!

[@frantucker608]

Thanks, will look forward to that!

[@samanthamorrison333]

I think that I have started feeling and believing that I am unloveable, unworthy, not good enough and I always want others to love me because I can't feel the love that I have for myself. I think I don't even love myself or hate myself sometimes. It's difficult to start loving yourself again after so much trauma and neglect that made you feel that you are not lovable..

[@msaigol87]

Hi Julia. I discovered your channel a couple of months ago and watch your videos regularly. I appreciate all the hard work, time and honesty you put into your content. It's so generous and kind of you. I'm sure that, through your channel, you've changed so many lives. I'm already seeing a positive shift in mine. People close to me have actually started to notice and appreciate that. Whenever I find myself falling into old patterns, I hop onto your channel in my free time and find something or the other to help me jump back up. This video says just what I needed to hear. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety at the age of 4. Growing up with such negative influencers - an overly critical mother, an abusive father and a resentful sister (she might be narcissistic) - made things worse. For most of my life, I hated myself. I never believed in myself. I never trusted my judgment. Learned helplessness was my life approach. The only things I knew I was good at were academics and writing (poetry & prose). It was only 6 years ago that I began my journey of self-love through therapy. Today, I'm in a place where I believe I'm good enough. However, lately, this negative self-talk has been running through my head because a guy I recently met doesn't value me as much as I deserve to be valued. I know what I have to do to fix the situation, but I just want to thank you for sharing such powerful reminders for me to love myself even if no one else does

[@juexielle]

hey, i was scrolling on the comment section and found yours. im glad you choose to love yourself. it really seems very easy to love yourself but its a lot of work... i'm sorry what you have gone through. i relate myself to you and im curious so i want to ask, how did you decide that u deserve more value and how would you fix this situation you mentioned? it would be helpful to understand myself if you'd answer.. thank you for sharing your thoughts

[@annr.1220]

I am going to work at being kinder to myself with my inner dialogue.

[@juliakristinamah]

Awesome Ann. So good.

[@rodmorrison6644]

Yes it is hard overcoming physical, mental and emotional abuse. "Self-love" or "loving your self enough" was never a problem for me, even according to your definitions. In many respects it had selfish connotations. My experience has been that kids can be the most cruel. Mature adults have more of a filter, but people in general can be so very harsh. The key is how to handle the criticism...which why we are all here, right? Taking your described "self-love" definitions, and applying it to; "...love your neighbor as yourself..." Or "... husband, love your wife as yourself..." Brought a clearer light in my responsibility & relationships to others. Finally....whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.... Thank you for your insight and help with understanding self-love.

[@kilipaki87oritahiti]

Thank you Julia! Your videos are better than any crappy therapist, or shrink I've ever gone to. So true. Tired of hearing this when I'm fighting depression, and on my way to self heal, and recovery. All my life even now as an adult, I'm constantly told and reminded either by people or society that everything about me is wrong. I'm too good at talking my self down. This video is prob one of my favorites from you❤️

[@juliakristinamah]

Nothing about YOU is wrong Gille87. Know that. Believe it.

[@MidlifeEdit]

Don’t allow your light to be put out because of the darkness. Screw the world chatter and invest in self

[@evian.]

Gille87 Any video is better than a crappy therapist 😂 I know what you meant though.

[@kilipaki87oritahiti]

The Christian Simone ❤️❤️❤️

[@kilipaki87oritahiti]

Julia Kristina Counselling Thank you!

[@hastizand6215]

Actually it's been months that I have been feeling anxious and depressed which didn't allow me to enjoy the presence of my loved ones or even vacations that I've been really excited about. I always thought it's because of family problems or a toxic person in my life. Somtimes I felt used and humilated without any reason. As I watched the video I saied '' oh just like a human! '' then I paused ... What was it supposed to mean? It means I DO NOT consider myself as A PERSON? then I just realized this dark aura around me was only because of '' me ''. I felt used and humilated but no one was giving me those emotions. I was giving it to myself... I was ignoring my emotions by smiling when someone hurt my feelings or even apologizing for NO PARTICULAR REASON. I just wanted to avoid complaints by sacrificing my emothions, I was using myself by just letting out parts of my character that others would appriciate, not the WHOLE ME. Me the girl who has been taught by her father that disagreeing has consequences and tauught by her classmates that if you let your sadness out people won't love you any more... Me... The girl who needed me the most through all these years and I just ignored her... I closed her mouth harshly just as others did...I wasn't there for myself as I rushed to help friends in need... So I cried... I cried for half an hour because I have been ignoring THE CLOSEST PERSON TO ME for a long long time... then, I stood up and wrote an apology letter for myself and sincerely asked for forgiveness. I want to forgive myself and start to notice the person I've been ignoring for so long... Thank you Julia... Thank you... People out there with low self-esteem... You don't need to worry because you aren't alone. Just acknowledge the reasons you've been held bach from self love and stop them because whoever you are... YOU ARE VERY VERY IMPORTANT AS WELL AS BEING LOVED AND ACCEPTED THE WAY YOU ARE!!! YOU WORTH IT!!!

[@robroy4137]

I am very very very depressed but watching this has helped me greatly for I am a registered nurse and at the same time 30 years ago I was sleeping on the streets of San Francisco addicted to drugs and alcohol so yes I have, very very very far away

[@psycherevival2105]

I’m proud that my self love has increased from about a 4 to around a 9 in recent years. My biggest challenge now is to not get triggered by other people’s emotional immaturity.

[@wandalorenz7688]

So very thankful these are on the internet so I can watch again and again! This was so very helpful

[@louiseleite3866]

I have a mental health issue (personality disorder) and never ever resorted to alcohol, drugs or any other addiction. I'm 54 and have a job and am independent.....I rock 😊

[@stacey3.5]

You are helping me so much! I found you and the Crappy childhood fairy last week and youre both reinforcing my last 4 years in therapy! Like things are finally coming together in my head and it feels like freedom!!! Thank you for what youre doing and i share with my 26 yo son who needs to hear these things too as my oldest daughter 31 and youngest daughter 16 seem to have that "brush it off" gene that i nor my son have lol! Peace and blessings to you!

[@SuperBassBabe]

Thank you for this. When I look back now, I've been working on myself consciously now for the last 8 years, where in my opinion my life really actually started. I'm really proud of my mom firstly for teaching my two older brothers and me unconditional love, to be empathetic, show compassion and truly feeling it and understanding it. My brothers are amazing role models and I'm fortunate to have them and my mom in my life. We are very close, they not just my brothers or my mom, but very close friends to me. The more work Ive been doing on myself and getting to know myself and yes, having a relationship with myself that I am proud of today. I only sat down reflecting on how far I've come and how much healing I have done. When I look and reflect on the toxic people I met and allowed to emotionally abuse me, I realise how fortunate I was being loved, having a safe environment growing up, been validated. Although not probably understood but loved for whom I am. It's seems to be a rare circumstance to have had the upbringing that I was fortunate to have, even with not having my father around since I was 6 years old when he passed away. My mother and brothers always made sure that I never felt that I've lacked anything in my life. Love your talks and thank you for being part of my life journey.

[@shespractical7272]

I only realized lately that the hardest, the most mean person, the most judgmental person to me is actually myself. That song HERO by FAMILY OF THE YEAR lyrics "Let me go, I don't want to be your hero..." is really good to listen when I am way too hard to myself and beaten up myself to be in a certain way I cannot be. Thanks Julia for your help today.

[@ilonaksiazkowska8772]

Thanks for the great video. :) I work on loving myself. I started with accepting how I look. Now I want to be ok with all my failures.

[@juliakristinamah]

Little step every day and a crap ton of self-compassion along the way ;-)

[@nothingbutthetruth2145]

I've battled so hard with GAD still in recovery but I try so hard every day. I've never thought well done me. But I guess I've done well to fight every day. THANKYOU. YOU, are such a kind and lovely person sharing and wanting to help others.

[@amarunene]

Hi Julia! My name is Annette. I have a lot of negative self talk and self doubt fed off of past sexual abuse and traumas. Ive conditioned my self to think that I am not good enough because of how tainted and disgusting I am. But I have to acknowledge that it wasnt my fault. I was just a child. And I just want to say thank you for helping me along my journey. I am so grateful ive came accross your channel. You are an angel. You are opening up my eyes and im challenging my self to heal. Thank you for giving me the right steps and tools to begin. Thank you for all you do!

[@LaughingLead]

Please never stop making content, hearing your advice gets me through each moment of the day and fills the void I have been dreading and I am starting to feel peace ☮️

[@arlisward2788]

Thank You! After being involved in a serious automobile accident 3 years ago, I’m having to rebuild my self love for who I am today.

[@juliakristinamah]

GOOD for you Arlis. I can only imagine how traumatic that was. Sending you love and strength!

[@katiapardal7718]

It’s October 2020 I’m so happy I’ve found your video . It’s been a tough year and needed to hear this ⭐️

[@AaronAlthaus]

Yup, I’ve come a long way. Good on me!

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes sir! Good for you.

[@hbhooooihbbgvv]

Being mindful of the thoughts , is probably the most useful to me right now. I give those negative thoughts too much power, I think taking control over that will be a good starting point for me. Thank you for all your videos, I've saved this one to return to and work on each part.

[@MsVixen1488]

Rosie Turner here... I love your channel and subscribed! I've suffered thru being my own worst critic due to the way I was treated growing up! I've worked extremely hard on figuring out what was wrong with me and why, but since I found your channel I've learned that instead of focusing on those 2 things it's time to focus on HOW TO MAKE ME BETTER BY FIXING WHAT I KNOW IS WRONG WITH ME INSTEAD OF ALLOWING MY DYSFUNCTION TO LIVE MY DAILY LIFE! Thank you for doing these videos, they've helped me, my boyfriend and our relationship! Bless you Kristina!

[@CobraFlows]

I really appreciate that there are people like you out there. I don't know what I am doing in this life... Please keep making videos you are a kind soul.

[@georgiamold5135]

I discovered your channel through your collab with 'depression to expression' and I'm so glad I did. I do need to work on a lot of things but right now I have recently adopted a dog and I'm doing my exams for my third year of university having transferred to a four year undergraduate masters course in maths due to my good results so far. I've come a long way

[@G5927-t5t]

Today I realized I don't love myself at all, I mean I want the best for myself, I want to heal, I want to be happy, but I think I'm mad at myself and I am unconsciously cultivating hate towards myself. Today I came to realize I'm annoyed by myself, I'm so shitty to myself, but I don't seem to be able to stop. This is so so so subtle, I thought I loved myself, with all my good words and the feeling of being proud of who I am, what I have achieved and whatever... but suddenly I realized I don't even want to look at myself, I felt just like "why are you even still alive bothering me?" and it really sucks, it sucks when you suddenly find out you don't love yourself at all, you just love so much the idea of who you want to be that you hate who you are. So I want to believe I am able to do this and apologize to myself and forgive myself, let go the anger I bottled up inside against myself and establish an healthy and strong relationship with myself. My goal is to make a best friend out of me.

[@fatintaufek933]

Hey I think we’re on the same boat. I wish you and me all the best! 😊 Sending lots of love 💓

[@blackeneddove]

I really connect with this and how you worded it. I hope that after 3 years you achieved becoming a best friend to yourself. And if not, that you are still working on it. I will use your words and your realization to try to do the same for myself. 😊

[@beverlymonroe8021]

Thank you! I’ve come a long way! Thanks for helping me understand and see how to embrace positive change, self care and self love!

[@leetee1450]

can I just tell you, after suffering from almost zero self esteem most of my adult life resulting in sabotaging most of my relationships , I decided I need to try to love me. Came across you and I am soooo thankful to have found you.. I'm a work in progress but your videos have helped me so much!

[@melodyslocum2309]

My phone has been my journey. Just looking at your face gives me hope. I store your videos when I'm shaking in my room (recent). . I don't really worry about "small things" what gets to me are arguers. I walk away. When we are calm. Tired today.🌻

[@stefanray3974]

This is me taking a moment to recognize what a very long way I've come in my 33 years. My Dad sent me this video today, and I'm so glad that he did. Thank you Dad, and thank you Julia.

[@TheEarthycrunchy]

I’m going to start with recognizing the negative self talk! Thank you for another great video Julia!!!! Xoxo

[@juliakristinamah]

Let me know how it goes Kyndale!

[@marleymelton4538]

I told myself the other day I was proud of myself. I had a bad night last night and forgot how proud I was.

[@marciaj2615]

All my life I've compared myself to others, never feeling completely adequate. I've been on the planet for over 5 decades and I am still plagued by this demon. I'm grateful I found you so I can have those reminders that I really a good human being with much to offer. Thank you for putting yourself out here for all who need it.

[@TelperionMt]

There wasn't any new information in this video for me, but everything that I have worked through was clearly laid out and presented. A very well made package of what happiness and healthy living looks like to me.

[@juliakristinamah]

Glad you liked it

[@christelnielandt5117]

Yes I have come a long away. Feel SO grateful for my journey and for what is yet to come 🙏

[@unitedwestand1288]

Yes! I find myself constantly talking down to myself. Since, I have been listening to you- I am catching that. The stage I am at is when criticism is brought is yes, some of that may be true. I might struggle in that area but I am okay with that. It kind of diffuses their argument. I am learning to accept myself even though, I have flaws.

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm SO glad to hear it. Really glad you're here.

[@cMrob73]

Thank you for reminding us that learning to love ourselves is like anything else - it's a process. We just don't wake up one day and say "I am going to love myself," and it happens. Light bulb moment for me!

[@kurtkuechenberg1684]

Very good advice. Trying to look at myself honestly is tough. Accepting even tougher, but worth the effort.

[@juliakristinamah]

Absolutely worth the effort. You've got this.

[@kurtkuechenberg1684]

If I might suggest, I have found meditation to be very helpful in gaining an objective viewpoint from which to see why we should love ourselves. When I meditate I sometimes try and view me meeting myself and seeing them as others see me...if that makes sense, lol. @@juliakristinamah

[@rhondapennell9998]

A friend recommended your videos to me. I see what you are saying, but don’t know how to apply what you said to myself. I’ve had depression most of my life, and tried antidepressants which I feel did nothing but damage me more. Got off those and have tried to be a happy person. It’s just not in me. I lost my husband in 2018 and have felt rudderless since then. I am 66 years old and find myself wanting my end to come soon. Perhaps I need some kind of therapy, just NO drugs again. I will continue watching your videos and hope for a breakthrough.

[@articletwelve8590]

I love your work. Thanks for helping us!

[@juliakristinamah]

I appreciate you taking the time to say that - thanks friend.

[@articletwelve8590]

@@juliakristinamah :) ur awesome friend

[@kara6320]

I can relate to that sense of awe you were describing where you just realize "wow I actually accept myself flaws and all and I'm happy with who I am" it took a lot of work as you said but it's so so so rewarding!!!

[@elstonhortman689]

I have come a long way. I am processing a break up right now and have been struggling. The suggestions you offer sound really good and I am going to put them into action. Some of them I was close to arriving at through prayer and meditation, but hearing you make them so plain and specific makes them easier to implement. Keep up the good work.

[@Sofia-bl9cb]

your videos help so much, it's like you're the only one who actually cares to give valid advice, i can't thank you enough! ly

[@yvespogue7533]

I am inspired by you. You are so real and honest and so good at what you do. I just got accepted into a counseling program and am working to get my masters and I hope to work to be as good as you. I struggle to love myself but I am getting better all the time. I just attended a training with a bunch of former colleges and they were so supportive of me. It reminded me that I have done great things and still have the capacity for more. At my current job I don't have that. I realize I am worth more than what I am doing now and plan to get back to doing what I love and get the support I need to be successful and that is loving myself.

[@roseh1132]

I really appreciate your authenticity. It's inspirational. These tips are so helpful.

[@juliakristinamah]

Karla - I'm so glad you're here and that it connected with you.

[@SportsBoss999]

I really love to listen to you Julia. You really make it easy to understand the points you are making. Personally, point #1 regarding how you talk about yourself really hits home. I am BRUTAL to myself most times, calling myself a loser or pathetic. And when I talk about myself to others, it's almost always self-depreciating humor about my weight or lack of success with women. And if anything is said to me that is good, I downplay it. I've always hated hearing people that are cocky and super-self-confident, so I guess I subconsciously go the opposite way. I do like myself in some ways, but despite my perceived strengths, it is overshadowed by feelings of inadequacies and fear. I dwell on my past failures so much, it freezes me to where I give up very easily or don't even try at all. If I listen to you, maybe I'll get better at liking myself.

[@makaylasudue3030]

Happiness isn’t a destination it’s a decision. I love that

[@pattyhill9278]

I shared this with a friend. I will try to not broadcast my weaknesses with everyone. I don’t even know why I do it.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you for sharing me with your loved one Patty. And yes, talking down about ourselves can often just be a bad habit, and relatively easy to break with awareness and intention.

[@johnykryll]

I think the hardest one for me is when I look in the mirror. Most of the time I see an aging tired looking old man. Occasionally I like what I see but just can't seem to love what I see. Your mindful exercises I think will help with this. In any case it's another job of work to do

[@casscat7]

Learning how to be aware of how you are talking to yourself, and how you are treating yourself, and how you should really catch yourself and turn that thought around... It really saves my day. It is so hard to love myself, loving yourself feels impossible when you continue to treat yourself down. That includes how you internalize problems, and how you tell yourself you aren't good enough, etc. Thank you for this! I need to get that process of developing self-love into practice. This really helps!

[@Chrysanthemum808]

Thank you, Julia. 😊💖 Good for me. I’m learning, and growing. Ah, this is my biggest crutch. My closest friends says no one is better at mentally beating me up than myself. I am working on catching myself, and learning to be kinder to myself.

[@juliakristinamah]

YES you are.

[@suzannemikula]

This is my biggest crutch too! I’m working on this myself. We can do this! 😍🙌🏽

[@Chrysanthemum808]

Joyful Om Suzanne Mikula Yes! We can do this, and come out better than ever! 💖🙌🏽

[@nadinenel9637]

Thank You Julia. Your videos means so much. Working on my co-dependancy issue and trying selflove

[@juliakristinamah]

I am so glad you're here Nadine. You will get to the other side because you are putting in the effort.

[@CandyAustin]

Thank you!!! I used to love myself and have gotten into a funk. I have already shared to some good friends who are battling with this also! I am going to start a journal and answer each of these questions you’ve posed. A positive one!

[@juliakristinamah]

Awesome CandyAustin - you will get out of that funk because you are actively doing something about it. GOOD for you. And thank you for sharing me with your friends - that is the biggest compliment.

[@tillygrace5918]

I am working through depression & your videos help so much .thank you it’s great to start feeling well & happy again x

[@j.e.9080]

You are great at Helping me open up my eyes n heart ....im 61 yrs Young im a great guy ... ... I shared your video's with my 16 yr grand daughter n her mom n my sons n all my group of friends ..... Your /Our message Must be Heard ....You Go Girlfriend....Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou.... Xo jimmy

[@gaytrirampersadjohnson2440]

WOW!!! I needed to hear this! This year has been so full of old endings and new beginnings. Your words showed me that I was fixed on the shortfalls and not on the fact that I have survived!!! So yup Julia, GOOD FOR ME!!

[@suprememaz]

Thank you for posting this! I have some so far over the past year, and I keep forgetting it and hurting myself for not being more. I need more reminders like this in my life.

[@christinafg1864]

I have to tell you, I think I've just had the most important, incredible breakthrough of my life. No joke. I've never understood why I could never connect with others genuinely. I've watched this video and so much became clear. For many various background reasons, I learnt to feel that I was not worthy to even be in the country I grew up in, that because of my ethnicity, accent, birthplace, that I didn't belong. I learnt to dislike myself and didn't like talking about where I'm from. I still feel pangs of awkwardness in publicly talking about myself. This text in itself is part of this breakthrough today. You've helped me realise, that I have to like myself again. Not look to others to find validation. When I liked myself, as a child up to around 7 yes old, before I left my birth country, I really loved myself and was a super happy kid! I remember how much joy I used to bring to others! I think I can start to regain my self love now. Then hopefully, instead of feeling like I 'need' people, I will be able to relate from a safe place, a calm and happy me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 💗💗💗🙌🏼

[@silascochran9705]

Thank you so much again you are truly a light in the Darkness for the people who struggle I am in a very bad place right now again things did not go well but I will pick up and and keep going

[@leslieyancey5084]

Silas Cochran I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm struggling too. ❤️ hugs

[@silascochran9705]

@@leslieyancey5084 thank you and hugs back to you I'll be okay

[@silascochran9705]

☀️🌻😁

[@pukasmom]

I used to really Hate myself and didn't understand why, but honestly did I felt shane and guilt allot. Then something happened and I lost my Home and I ended up being homeless living in the streets and I was so afraid because I never had any experience with homelessness. It was really hard but I realized over time that the way I felt about myself had shifted and I was starting to really respect myself because I was doing things I didn't think I could before and I was facing my fears. I lived with as much dignity as I could and felt judgement from people and some people would say hurtful things but I wouldn't let it get me down because I knew I didn't do anything wrong . I worked hard to overcome and learned so much from that time. That was 5 years ago and I'm so grateful for that struggle it lead me to where I am now and I learned to so much from it. All of the things you mentioned in this video I learned to do and it works! I have respect and Love and Trust for myself today. I'm not perfect and I have more inner work to do but I have more Peace of mind than I ever thought possible. I try to treat myself with respect kindness and compassion! They way I treat everyone... Thankyou I watch your videos everyday and you are wonderful!

[@neveahryderdreton5882]

Im so kind to everyone but this video made me realize that Im not being very kind to myself. Im cutting myself out of the kindness I try to do for others. Mindblowing

[@sarawatkins1086]

Yes! I have come a long long way. But so hard to remember that and think how far I have to get to before I’m “happy” what you said about happiness not being a destination but a decision!! Wow amazing words and so true.

[@davidclark1412]

I don't know how you do it Mrs. Kristina, but you "nail it." Thank you.

[@mirabelclaire4201]

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. You are literally a breath of fresh air. So much S*** in the self love community!

[@PacoUW]

I have come a long way, breaking the emotional chains that have been passed down in my family. I would say I’m 85-90% there. Thank you!

[@HazardonerFTR]

I have came along way. I ran a full marathon about a week ago something that two years ago I would’ve never thought I could do and it was more a dream proud of myself proud of all of you ❤

[@hebrides3]

Many thanks! Helpful new bits and great reminders helping to anchor this stuff in deep....Cheers!

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks for being here Tracy. Glad it connected.

[@aprilc.3697]

I can remember “thunder thighs”, too! Your videos are great and I feel like it’s very hard to let go of the emotional baggage from family of origin dysfunction that was probably similar to cult brainwashing. I’m at the point where I want to say that my parents did the best they could, given that they weren’t well-equipped to be parents and they had plenty of baggage from their childhood dysfunction. It’s not easy to love yourself, but it’s a practice that I’m trying to learn. You’re videos are better than seeing my ex-therapist.

[@carolanneg3819]

Yeah it always comes down to baggage from childhood. I used to blame my mum & stepdad. But I think about how they were brought up & realise it was a tough one for them too. They didn't know how to show affection & teach us about emotions. Now we have to try fix ourselves. I've unfortunately harmed my kids emotionally too because I was to busy looking for someone to give me the love I was craving & made so many bad choices. Now I'm trying to fix my self & my kids. If only I could turn back time & change it all. But forwards is the only way! 🙂

[@tahminadawood7250]

Hi Julia. Absolutely LOVE your videos. A counselor had once told me to keep a small book and note down things I did for others vs the things I do for myself, and keep them balanced. I realized that I was doing much more for others than myself. Hope this helps someone.

[@juliakristinamah]

This is great! Thanks for sharing Tahmina.

[@myraalikhail]

Yep Julia, I have came a long way!! good for me!! Is your great work!! Thank you for giving me “my life” back with all your amazing video’s:))

[@Kusic3]

Thank you for all of your wonderful intelligence and wisdom Dr. Kristina!

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank YOU for being here Caleb.

[@italiabionda5543]

Recognizing so many things that brought me to tears. My goodness, I would never treat someone else like this, why do I do it to myself?

[@sveerdlov1917]

I took notes today and I actually have come a long way Julia. Thanx! Also, starting with being mindful on my thoughts that I obsess on, maybe just one I can hold on to for waking up next day.

[@NitinSingh-fd8vn]

You know you have affected the thoughts of so many people. You are beautiful both from the face and from the mind & soul.

[@suzannemikula]

I’m so proud of how far I’ve come and all that I have achieved by challenging my self-limiting beliefs! I resonate with all you share and I’m starting to speak differently to myself. Normally I listen to and internalize the negative self-talk... but I’ve recently written out a page of self-loving statements and I noticed a positive shift immediately! I love how you asked us to compare how a friend would speak to us if we had failed in some way. It made me laugh because we wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who put us down all the time! For some reason we allow ourselves to do that to US. No more though! It’s time to be the BEST friend we can be to us! Thank you for sharing! 💖🙏🏽

[@ethanh4420]

Hi Julia, Currently going through counseling and I’ve made some great strides in the past several weeks. I’m commenting to congratulate myself and accept my huge progress. It’s been hard work, and I never take credit for my own progress or work, but I’m here to claim it for myself!

[@kimmcdonald2022]

Good for me for coming this far. Spot on convo. This topic hits me hard

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes Kim. GOOD for you.

[@ChrisWilliams-kl9ez]

Julia, you are a wonderful therapist, you help me so much, thank you , Chris ( from Penarth , Wales ).

[@lorrieray312]

Going to work on how I talk about and to myself. I definitely need help in this area and being more kind to myself. Thank you Julia!

[@juliakristinamah]

It's a big one, isn't it? Sending you love.

[@chef_amy]

Thanks so much for your videos- I discovered you a couple of days ago and can’t stop listening! 💕💕🙏🙏

[@juliakristinamah]

Amy! Welcome here. SO so good to connect with you.