Why You Fail When It Comes To Dopamine

[@trulsarnes8277]

One thing that has helped me alot is realizing that it's always easier to choose to not "just check your phone" or "just playing a League game" than it is to stop when you have started. The weird part about this is that it doesn't feel that way, but the reason for that is that it feels harder to fight the urge to be stimulated than to stop the activity, because once you've started you already surrendered, and your brain doesn't want to do anything else.

[@hevanen1]

Absolutely! Dr. K has called this "boarding the dopamine train", because there is no stopping it once you've boarded it and even if you do manage to stop your focus and motivation to do anything else is gone for the rest of the day. He talked about this and related topics in-depth in "Why Do You Only Get Motivated After Midnight?" video, it was quite insightful for me.

[@jording1443]

I find this phenomenon quite often when making a "gaming break" when working or doing other stuff. Let's say I stop working for lunch and then I decide to play for 30 minutes to cope and decompress. If it isn't compulsory to return to work I'll cheat the 30 minute easily and go for +1 hour. Sometimes is fine because the game will generate enough satisfaction in that short time period. But often times I'll feel the urge to complete a task or I will get engaged because the game is getting interesting. I want to enjoy videogames with some regularity but probably most of us need a "hardening" our discipline stage or a dopamine detox which is so trendy nowadays

[@Pensnmusic]

Yeah, you're already getting lots of positive feedback if you're doing the thing. You get some positive feedback thinking about doing the thing, but actually doing it? Wait I'm at work I have to put my phone away

[@bobobsen]

Also, with ADHD the perseveration makes it worse

[@momchilanachkov3363]

This is so true. It feels like any time you boot up a video game, or open up hornpub, it makes it harder to resist the following time.

[@coolcarly25]

I appreciate that Dr. K can be both extremely compassionate, and also is able to call people on their bullshit.

[@OogaB0oga]

Good comment. These two qualities in him, combined with his obvious competence, are what makes me appreciate him and his content so much

[@6sharks]

the way he does it is still with compassion a lot of the time. it's nice

[@papoandson]

It feels like the situation is a bit questionably framed, though. It's not like they're bullshitting because they're intentionally trying to get out of something or defend themselves from something; they're being inconsistent or inaccurate because they haven't learned how to be aware of the things going on in their own heads. It's good that Dr. K is teaching them, but the process of "they're bullshitting and need to be called out" might not be the best way of doing so.

[@Balloonbot]

A bit of advice from a 31 year old, who takes ages to learn anything, and typically very resistant to making an effort, but has set out to do things I want to do. So if you're like me; this might help. 1) You have time! Most of you are young and its fine to feel stuck, life is overwhelming and this is just a mechanism to protect you. If you're not so young, starting now is great - you're old enough to have experience in life, but young enough to make changes, bit like me. 2) Take things in tiny steps. You dont have to "go hard or go home", more go at a pace you're comfortable with cus its 100% better than nothing. You'll get comfortable with stage 1, then you're ready for stage 2. Even take start by focusing on one thing at a time. If you want to exercise, and learn to cook, and learn a new skill, spend a month JUST focusing on exercise, however small. Then slowly incorporate the other activities. 3) Simplify what you want to learn! Masters at anything, sports, cooking, art, math and of course gaming- they all know how to simplify complex things, which is why they can process more than an amateur. Everything has basic steps - and those carry over to everything!

[@randomness4989]

3-advice is so golden

[@fraktaalimuoto]

Decent advice. Better go for the soft limit and extend it than go against the hard limit.

[@silverrain530]

This is oddly motivating. The second bit of advice especially. It puts things in much smaller perspective and more achievable and applicable. I hope this carries on to tomorrow and onward as it's late at night for me now.

[@bigbadlara5304]

Advice number 3 blows my mind. Never thought of it that way.

[@gregt995]

I'm also 31 and I have definitely learned the hard way to take the slow and steady approach. When you first start working to get your life together it's easy to get all hyped and want to completely overhaul your entire being. You want to eat healthy so you by all these fruits and veggies, etc.; you want to get ripped so you decide to hit the gym 4 days a week; you want to learn an instrument so you go buy a guitar and sign up for lessons; and the list goes on. The thing is that excitement you have in the beginning is short lived and when you try to change everything all at once you end up burning yourself out real fast. Changing your life is a lifelong endeavor, and you have to approach it as such. Slow and steady wins the race, go too fast and you burn out and give up. Take is slow, work on one or two things at a time, and eventually (we're talking years here, sorry to burst your bubble) you will find that you are making significant strides in living the life you envision for yourself.

[@kiokik7457]

Learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. The pain doesn’t go away but you learn how to live with it. That’s some wisdom handed down to me from a much older gentleman. I use it as motivation when I’m trying to overcome a difficult thing that can take weeks or months to do. It’s just another training arc that will make the next thing possible.

[@paradise745]

Did you learn how to do this? Does your life now predominantly consist of constant pain that you’re comfortable with?

[@amroatif7150]

@@paradise745I assume you are comfortable with the pain of not doing heroine (a drug addict won’t tolerate your daily life)

[@EZXSniperZzz]

I never looked at it as if I was motivated to destroy my life. In fact, that makes total sense. I was raised to destroy my dreams to be financially stable. I lived my life destroying my life. Dopamine was my only coping mechanism to deal with the awful shit my parents put me through. All that dopamine chasing was "approved" by them, because it kept me away from people, who "could have been a bad influence." Recently, I've been able to catch myself playing video games and ask myself "where is this going? Is this what you want?" The answer is always no. "No, I don't actually want to play Path of Exile for 94 hours in the past two weeks." 1000+ hours in that game, and I've yet to kill Sirus or Elder, etc. I don't want to. I just wanted to be distracted from life. But at the same time, the answer is also "No, I don't want to struggle anymore." I've struggled my whole life. One trauma after another. Yet, I'm starting to realize many of those struggles were never my own. They were more often the extension of someone else's struggle that I let into my life. I'm not good at fighting for myself. I was told that struggling for my own goals wasn't worth it. I was made fun of for it. I was ashamed for having aspirations for myself. I wanted to write stories, music, opinions, etc. "But it doesn't make money. It's pointless." I'm slowly getting there. That desire to embrace MY struggle. To embrace MY pain. I want my life, I want my goals, I don't want security for the sake of it. I want feel like my life was worth something to me, and mean something to me. Maybe if I can do this, I can make people feel the same why art has made me feel. Connected to something beyond myself, and in those moments... I feel a sense of hope for living. Maybe it's fucking lofty to say "I want to give people hope" but... I do.

[@trappart9209]

Feeling you, keep going!

[@Peanuts76]

same, i always put my dreams over somebody else, put what i interest the most for the sake of my mother and my sister, which is just now i realize they are narc, while im losing hope here everyday loath crying all they do are blaming, criticizing, and hating when i just need for emotional support, everytime im being vunerable, they always gaslit me, it make traumatize and confuse, it's like living with people who want you down, hating, and happy when you depressed....

[@Peanuts76]

im living in constant high stress, i always have to read what they need the most, obsessing and ruminating, what they gonna do if I'd do this and that, confusing and stressful..... over reacting while they gaslit if i try to engage with their lies and their wrong.... they never change, altough i realize this on cognitive level, is still hard to be reciprocate my self around them, cause i was raised this way, to be a scapegoat....

[@fl0wey57]

I thank this comment for also connecting me to your sentiments. I, too want to give hope, but still find mental pain extremely hard to endure. But just as the giants fall the hardest, the bigger climbs also make for the most satisfying ones, *and I will win!*

[@Toporshik]

To be honest, and correct me if I'm wrong, I feel like you do get over it somewhat. At least in two activities that I perform: exercise and writing. If you can get in the zone, especially when starting out a new story, you absolutely feel motivated to do this more than anything. You feel like you can write all day, and you hate it when something distracts you. If it's not dopamine, I don't know what is. But the big difference is that it takes a lot of effort to continuously find yourself in this place. It's much harder than just opening a KZbin page. That's why a lot of writers struggle with inspiration. Second activity is exercise. At first it's very hard and I personally can't keep it up for long. But if I do exercise consistently for a month, I start getting really motivated during the workout sessions. It's still very hard to start them, but while I'm exercising, I feel as good, if not better, than during gaming/KZbin. Especially if I get to do some complex activities such as dancing, fencing or rock climbing. I do believe that this is effect of dopamine. The only difference I think is the ease of getting into that state. It's easy to start destructive dopamine-inducing behaviour, but it's hard to get into the real life productive counterparts. But I do believe that there is not only meaning, but also real joy in things that feel dull and boring at first.

[@D9xAbstract]

Its only life destruction if you choose to feel that way. I don't feel shame or like that at all. And I choose the path of least pain. I follow the likes of Arthur Schopenhauer

[@polpolaris]

I think because in youtube it was faster cycle of dopamine (anticipation - reward). It even faster for tiktok, where writing and exercise, the reward is slower, and the anticipation for something new is little hard. so it hard to keep up that flow state

[@vlogsbyrow]

The difference is in anticipation of the reward, if understood Dr. K’s argument correctly. You don’t enjoy writing in the moment (especially when you’re frustrated and want to tear your hair apart), but you know that by the end you’ll get that rush of happiness.

[@jaayrise2092]

He's mentioned in the past that the brain likes two things, Entertainment and being in the flow state.

[@dracsharp]

Actually those activities are not neceserarily more rewarding, but they give you a very quick dopamine hit. I got this from an ADHD book "In this state you don’t consciously know if you are happy or not, which is just as good as being happy, if not better, because you are not wasting energy on self assessment." I used to find books boring, but all I needed to fall in love with them is to first of all select ones that interest me and listen to them sped up and don't hesitate to put them down if they suck. In the past 2-3 years I went from having read about 20-30 books, to like 200.

[@moony7093]

What's the title of the ADHD book if I may ask? :)

[@MikAs0o]

@@moony7093 also very interested

[@hauskasiili]

The one thing that school pushes people to believe is that you should slog through books you don't enjoy. Sure, maybe you have a project where reading is just a took, like research, but mostly that's a load of Bull.

[@TU7OV]

What's the title!

[@zxcvssv1]

Title?

[@SnoozeCruisin]

TL;DR we must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey

[@flowstate9716]

ooo interesting take

[@Ropewatch]

This isn’t useful. Just nice thinking. Thinking and doing are two different things.

[@natsumi9331]

How?

[@TheDhammaHub]

It is our natural inclination - it takes extraordinary effort to swim against the stream

[@BurZ1349]

Free from desire you see the mystery and how the world truly works, caught in desire you see only the manifestations.

[@destroyerinazuma96]

Homeostasis is a b*tch too.

[@jetjet6560]

I absolutely agree. It's not about "how badly do you want to break the dopamine cycle?", but instead coming to terms with the fact that it will be tough... and inspite of that, choosing to take the steps to break the cycle. Kinda like salmon swimming upstream; it's certainly not the easiest or most convenient path, but at their core they know that crossing that hurdle will allow them to lay their eggs in a better place (just an analogy)

[@jesterfrombeyond1776]

Calling it natural misses the dual problem of society who creates creates and enables disfunctinoal behavior and the individual which engages and feeds the cycle. Be careful about your rhetoric if you try to discribe a problem otherwise you might miss the point and therefore solution. In this case effort is the wrong approach it is quite the opposite patients, humility and consciousness are the values that help you get over addiction. As soon as you build an ego out of your attempt to free yourself it falls over from the next gust of wind. Been trough relapses with modern problems for years treat it like a real addiction otherwise you won't make it have the courage to addmit hopelessness this way you can find something in you that can free you. It is not what you think it is. LITERALLY.

[@blaulin]

I don't fully agree. I think Dr. K said something to the effect of 'doing what you have to/ want to do is not hard'. Like, we may imagine the boredom and the pain as really hard, unbearable. But actually, once we really understand what we get by enduring the boredom and pain, it will be easy. Once we really get that the hard choice is the right choice to pick, it will take no effort to do what our mind recognizes is right. It's reframing that being a motivated person is not 'hard', the way society frames it is. It's not a daily struggle. I actually think framing as 'it will always be effortful' is a bit harmful. At least, for me it was. Do I want a life in which I fight against myself every day? Hell no. But (and I speak from experience) this fight doesn't exist, at least not in the long run.

[@flavafee]

incredible. this is the exact problem and path that i am taking to slowly get out of it. seeing it laid out like this is so validating and makes me so grateful for all the damn hard work that i feel like i have been putting into it. plus i can share this with others so hopefully they understand what the hell i'm going through. thank you dr k and team from the bottom of my heart

[@SeppelSquirrel]

I used to feel like I never got that dopamine rush from doing healthy & satisfying things, then I learned that I have ADHD and autism, so my dopamine receptors are messed up to start with - I'll never feel completely satisfied from anything. I just keep going and going until I hopefully feel something, but that's just not how my brain works. I have to constantly check myself to make sure I'm treating myself nicely by giving myself both time to be productive and time to zone out with video games. Also I figured out I was trans, and after being on hormones, I totally lost interest in porn and hardcore gaming, so now I have plenty of time to do the things I love. I'm easily 10x as productive now. Solid advice in this video!

[@dwdizer]

Same here. Since I started to quit bad habits and make my life worth living I keep thinking "why is this so hard" and "will it always stay this way". The good thing is though that thinking about going back and doing things like I used to became so unacceptable to me that I remind myself that this is no alternative anymore because I know how damn unhappy I was, leaving me no other choice than to keep working no matter how long it takes.

[@SonOfTheNorthe]

As a wise lyricist once said: "This is only the start Of something which never ends or gets less hard Yet every part will be worth it in moments When you look back and seen how much you've grown into what you are And the memories blot each page Demarcations of the ways you've aged Not all of which you wanted to see, but without each of which you could not be And even as your heart breaks Taking tallies of all mistakes you can say At the very least you weren't afraid to try to make something"

[@Prince_Yonte]

Bruh this is stellar.

[@TTMS-Khaz-kun]

This made me feel things.

[@joed9514]

Was not expecting to see Trial of the Golden Witch in Healthy Gamer's comment section. That whole album fucking rocks.

[@Void-Knull]

"wise"

[@Wakshak321]

On one hand I agree with what he's saying, on the other I think we need to consider other factors that might be at play, like medical factors. About 2 years ago I made a choice to stay off drugs and other bad habits that were a constant quick supply of dopamine hits, since then I had to make the decision to live a harder life, but a more fulfilling life, I had to start exercising, eating healthier, taking up other hobbies and doing things with my life that were more "worth" it but more painful. I was able to do it for a long time until one day I just lost all motivation not knowing why and reverted back to easy dopamine hits, video games, youtube, things I could easily access without having to be motivated. I actually tried to get back on track but its like I was unable to do it again. Later it turned out my vitamin b12 levels were low and I had a high cholesterol, both causing extreme fatigue which manifested itself in lack of motivation and pursuing simple pleasures and easy, effortless dopamine hits. Had I not figured that out I would've probably kept going without addressing it, sticking to youtube, video games and all the stuff that doesn't require motivation. There are two sides to this, psychological and medical. I don't advise self medicating, but going to a doctor and getting yourself tested would at least help you understand where the problem is and how to address it.

[@katchupbass]

You're right. In fact, he actually did a lecture on this topic, the video is called "You Need To Get Tested", of which he spoke about some symptoms that are commonly labeled as mental health issues, but in reality many of them could also be caused by physical health problems, he even mentions B12 deficiency.

[@zenosgrasshopper]

Vitamin D deficiency is also a possibility. Most Americans are deficient in Vitamin D and don’t know it. Your doctor can run a blood test to determine if you’re deficient.

[@letsplayspidy966]

When dealing with the dopamine, I like to think that even if things are going to be less fun in the present, I will be more proud of myself and my past.

[@awanturnik978]

Hamza fan?

[@bigmandem01]

That's exactly the opposite of what he's saying. You're thinking you will get dopamine later on after you do the boring shit. But he's saying you will never get dopamine again. Choosing this path of hardship will forever be painful.

[@heehokuzunoha7757]

@@bigmandem01 The key is to limit the dopamine. I also think they are healthier ways to get your necessary dopamine fix like working out and listening to good music as opposed to p0rn, gaming, drugs, etc.

[@bigmandem01]

@@heehokuzunoha7757 Yeah for sure I think a balance can definitely be had. You can play video games and have a fulfilling life. Though I'm not so sure you get dopamine from working out. Working out feels like shit for the most part.

[@heehokuzunoha7757]

@@bigmandem01 There's an endorphin rush that comes afterwards but the dopamine factor is in knowing that you worked out, not working out itself.

[@rokoi3]

Accepting that the right path will be endlessly painful and boring seems really risky. I'm reminded of that learned helplessness experiment, i.e. groups of dogs being shocked and the group that didn't have a way to stop them later gave up and simply lied down during any future, stoppable ones. However, I imagine that not being able to provide for my family, friends and loved ones when they'll need it would be indescribably more painful than whatever in-the-moment discomfort I'm experiencing, and getting past that discomfort gets me closer to being of more help. Even speaking as a loner, it's worth admitting and leveraging our built-in social, familial, communal instincts. Good luck everyone

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

Yeah it's a difficult choice. Endless pain and boredom for the mind eventually destroys the soul, so then are the "rewards" even worth it at that point?

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

I think this could be a dangerously misleading wording of it, for it won't be painful and boring for very long. This is something he leaves out for some reason.

[@rokoi3]

@@MiketheNerdRanger Good point, agreed!

[@bassaml4438]

keep in mind that acceptance and helplessness are not the same thing. tbh, I don't think that the dogs experiment degree of pain and its properties are what really happens in real-life situations. I really want to share a lot of thoughts with you but i have many of them. I encourage you to see things from a different perspective.

[@destroyerinazuma96]

One of the things my therapist asked me was what my day consisted of. It was actually a good question.

[@curseyehamewho]

As of late, breaking my habits and performing better in my day to day has been just as fruitful, if not moreso than falling into repetitive dopamine hits.

[@rituraj-503]

i dont understand, could you explain , again?

[@TheOppaiLord]

@@rituraj-503 I don't want to speak for Clyde here, but I feel similarly so maybe I can clear it up so you understand. I have spent over 10 years being very addicted to videogames, as well as picking up some other addictions along the way like porn (thankfully relatively briefly) and smoking weed. Recently I've been going to therapy, talking with my coaches and my mom to actually get my life together, and now I'm starting to be able to do things like exercise and clean up. not because someone else expected it of me and I felt REQUIRED to do it; but because I WANT to. Specifically I feel great when I exercise because I'm finally working on actually improving my body, and I am also using some of my energy, rather than just sitting in a chair all day.

[@curseyehamewho]

@@rituraj-503 I'm 24, and have had my own PC since 1999. Two decades of figuratively using a hydraulic press on the dopamine button. Nothing in my life has been more difficult than wrestling myself out of this, and with how much of a detriment the degenerate desensitized early netizen lifestyle and imageboard culture has been to me, well... rewarding doesn't come close to describing the feeling of acting in accordance with *my* character, and no longer feeding the looping self-sabotage machine. Also, keep in mind that the initial changes in habit and behavior may not seem like they're improving. Going from waking up and immediately gaming, getting stuck in a loop of trying to satisfy that dopamine craving that never ultimately comes versus waking up and making your bed, showering, playing for an hour or two then getting out and about seems like the ball gets rolling really well, but maybe the next day showering gets put off until later, or things get delayed because we bargained with ourself thinking "okay... three more matches then I'll go look for jobs..". Don't let it discourage you. The awareness of it will steer the mind in the right direction the next time it arises. Ultimately though it depends what you want. Sorry that was so all over the place, a lot of this is stuff I'm still compartmentalizing.

[@a.alphonso6193]

same

[@AnishNair09]

@@curseyehamewho thanks for sharing your experience, I'm trying to start my journey of getting over the gaming and KZbin addiction but just really struggling with it, coming up with an end number of excuses to just keep on continuing with my routine but when I hear about people getting over their addiction, gives me a little more drive to fix it, and hopefully i can act upon it too xD

[@greentoken3783]

Hahahaha I love how chat is divided between ''Haha sigma male'' and ''Oh god, he's doomed.''

[@Akiak7]

The content recently has been amazing, keep it up. If I may suggest something, I'd like to see more interviews, but perhaps short-form ones with random viewers? Just an idea.

[@parker4675]

Thanks for posting these videos, Dr. K. I appreciate the AOE. It's truly impacted my life in a positive way.

[@freshrockpapa-e7799]

As a heroin addict, this truly spoke to me... Thank you so much for all the work you're doing!

[@cc1drt]

Heroin is pretty much the ultimate example of this concept, orders of magnitude stronger than videogames. Gl with your journey to sobriety, one day youll look back and consider this one of the best things youve ever done :)

[@freshrockpapa-e7799]

@@cc1drt Thank you for the encouragement! Although honestly, videogames were much more addicitve and damaging than heroin in my case lol (only because I was younger). Thank God I had experience overcoming addiction by the time I even began using, or it would have been much worse.

[@marcvesper]

@@freshrockpapa-e7799 Yep. You run out of money, opiates, opportunities or your own physical health, so you get an interruption; a crash and maybe a chance: but video games will caress you forever.

[@freshrockpapa-e7799]

@@saulg00dman_ what?

[@picklem576]

"Seek freedom and become a captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty" - The Bene Gesserit Coda (from Dune)

[@mynameisYumi]

Just like how Dr K has deconstructed the concept of motivation, I'd be interested to hear his thoughts on the concept of resilience. I think he's definitely talked about the practical steps on how to persevere without explicitly using the term "perseverance" across multiple videos of similar topics, like centering the mind on a direction, cultivating motivation, having something worth suffering for etc. But I feel like there's a little something that's still missing from the equation. Would love to hear some thoughts for those who have started on the path but find themselves slipping from time to time or need that extra push when other things don't seem to work.

[@roxane1237]

If you want to better understand what motivation is from a scientific point of view and how you "build" resilience you can look up the self determination theory. That's what we teachers are using to try to help students build up what I think you mean by "perseverance". Basically every human needs 3 things in order to do stuff. Motivation is the "natural state" but if we sever one of those three prerequisites, it makes things harder (and our society is very good at severing them). The three keys are autonomy, competence and relation to other people. People who cannot persevere lack one or several of those things. For instance lack of self confidence is a big thing among students because our society puts a lot of negative focus on failures and mistakes while those things are a very crucial part of learning.

[@aaakitsune]

Well this was a black pill and the opposite of what you have said before. The previous videos gave me a clear impression that doing a dopamine detox would result in other dreadful, boring or low prioritied becomming more exciting. Or for video games to become more fun and exciting again rater than just playing to avoid getting depressed. But now you say that these things will never be more exciting etc and that we have to choose a life of eternal suffering to obtain other kinds of fufilling lifegoals that wont be joyful by comparison. If that is the dark future you paint now, then what is the point of the detox to begin with. It sounds like it serves no purpose then other than to fool people into thinking there is a solution. Perhaps ive gotten lost in the message you are telling, but i sure dont see any hope for my future after this video..

[@Dostendite]

What he means is that in order to have a truly fulfilling life, you must first embrace the fact that you can't be constantly getting stimulation from gaming, porn, etc and that there will be suffering, but that by embracing that suffering and stopping the cycle of dopamine exhaustion we are able to build this life, in which activities that were boring before will now be as fun as games, or even more if you're very anhedonic, and where you won't feel ashamed and empty.

[@jonathanmarkov1741]

“The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain.” - Dr. Gabor Maté

[@arithmechick]

I think the real question for many is, "When does the pain begin to feel worth it?"

[@sarahFYI]

It was really hard for me to learn I had to accept dealing with negative emotions instead of just pushing them aside. But it does get easier (though progress isn't always linear and I'm still learning/improving). Being able to acknowledge that something is hard and still work through it makes me feel strong. also oof that quote at 11:15 "You can watch KZbin as much you want to inform yourself about things that are neat instead of actually doing something in the world. You can learn about what other people are doing as much as you want to. It's never going to fix the hole of not having done anything yourself."

[@dynamicgecko1213]

Well, I'm not expecting all sunshine and daisies. But this doesnt mean I should accept that I will be extremely bored form these healthy activities for the rest of my life. I feel like Dr. K didn't exactly target the question here. Nobody is having fun working out all the time but after a certain level, the satisfaction and benefits they get from it outweights the pain. So they can keep going. The very difficult part is getting to that level from the "no pleasure" level. That is what the question was about. The question wasn't "How do I get rid of the pain altogether?" I feel like he is saying "Just accept the pain bro."

[@markrutte5637]

yeah. like, he's saying just do it. strange how he talks about adhd then says stuff like this

[@MakiMakiMii]

What he was missing in my opinion was something along the line of you have to embrace the pain/boredom until you eventually see the reward coming out of the process, because it's slowly starting to outweigh the sacrifice you have made. And this thing in particular is very subjective and highly depends on what you expect and wish for, where your personal goal lies. For example if you're overweight and want to lose weight, you will have to learn to endure the pain and lack of immediate return of pleasure like a bag of chips does or binge watching youtube clips. Changing dietry habits will suck, going out for a run every day will hurt, but if you want to achieve your goal of becoming thinner, you won't make it unless you embrace it and give sacrifices. Only when you endure it and look into the mirror again months later, you will slowly see changes and receive some kind of satisfactory feedback, because you notice your actions do something good which then again pleases your mind. Same goes for a book. You will have to give up time, need to learn to become patient and attentive to finish a book. Only when you've made it through, you will be able to contemplate about it and get slight gratification out of it. But it will never be as short-term reaction intense as a playlist of 1min youtube videos. So yeah, I think embracing it is not wrong, but time and personal expectations are important factors, which will eventually brings us back to the whole instant gratification vs. delayed gratification thing.

[@andrei3586]

@@markrutte5637 I don't think its strange, thats just how it is, just do it bro, theres a reason people dont make it, its because they don't accept the "just do it".

[@markrutte5637]

@@andrei3586 id just watch jordan peterson and joe rogan for advice like that.

[@werrkowalski2985]

Working out is replacing a socially unacceptable addiction (whatever people tell you you should stop doing) with a socially acceptable addiction (working out)

[@adammartin1507]

I think it’s true that the fulfillment you get from the activities that are good for your soul will eventually outweigh that pain. But it’s good that Dr. K is being realistic here. It’s a daily struggle, and you have to understand that. If you think someday it will feel like porn and vidya, then you’re deluding yourself.

[@elise2005]

Is enlightenment boring?

[@noodlespoo]

Isn't it the most common cliche? Embrace pain and sacrifice, work hard, be a productive member of society, leave a legacy, sacrifice some more. I can understand this working for people who have an actual dream (like being an artist in this case). But what if you don't?

[@stepans2167]

At the beginning he mentions the question you should ask yourself, "what I want my life to be"?

[@Void-Knull]

@@stepans2167 non existent

[@stepans2167]

@@Void-Knull I feel you bro

[@adammartin1507]

Kind of like drinking LaCroix after chugging coke for years.

[@JohnnyUtah488]

I've been trying to spend less time online, and it made me realize I have no idea what I truly want to do. The tricky thing about getting off the dopamine treadmill is it's hard to tell which things are truly boring/uninteresting to you, and which things just feel boring now but you might enjoy more in the future.

[@defavlt3693]

This video actually depresses me because it makes me realize that life is simply boring and depressing, idk how the hell you guys manage to find life beautiful when the things that are supposed to be good aren't fun at all like vidya. I just don't care about having anything considered good and all these things like vidya etc are boring to me even tho i keep chasing them for the dopamine hit that never hits. This fucking sucks, i can't manage to find a way to function properly, i wish i could just live in a world of my own, that would solve everything but that's fucking impossible i beg you guyd what the fuck should i do

[@willw1980]

I think it might be time to seek a professional.

[@StirsMYCookiez]

@@willw1980 ^ this

[@jonathanesayiasberhe3222]

I did a dopamine detox for 40 days where I even cut out movies, social media, sugars (even fruits) and even music. What I learned was that most of us have no idea what the human brain is like when we our dopamine sensitivity is hightend and not given modern pleasures. You become a true focused, relentless, unashamed monster whose only challenge becomes being nice. Things like waking up quick, comprehensive reading of a book longer than 20 min, being assertive, focused on your task list, increased memory becomes something effortless 🤯 One of the most amazing discoveries I've made.

[@varmoparnpuu]

How tf were you able to do that for 40 days

[@heehokuzunoha7757]

@@varmoparnpuu Discipline. Not everyone is born with it and most of us have parents who fail to teach it to us. It's something you have to cultivate out of necessity.

[@furiousdestroyah9999]

@@heehokuzunoha7757 Still though, 40 days of severe brain atrophy? That's not worth going through

[@cornloin9732]

@@furiousdestroyah9999 it might feel like atrophy but its probably safe

[@furiousdestroyah9999]

@@cornloin9732 For the body? Yeah, I can't imagine that doing any real damage, but for the mind? I prefer my sanity over some soul stuff

[@kwintentambeur6925]

I have come back to this video many times, it really had a big impact on me. Thank you dr. K

[@Acalamity]

That is actually somewhat false. You can get dopamine hits from "boring" tasks under the right circumstances... otherwise I would not be addicted to programming or cooking. But that's because I treat them like solving puzzles/challenges, so they affect my dopamine system more.

[@kecho4125]

Also for people wondering if life is then only suffering if we choose the right path - technically true, BUT, some tips to feel joy: - THE HARDEST PART: jumping over the intial cliff that is sucking VERY HARD at whatever you want to do. (Imagine first timing LoL, you went 0/10/0 30cs, it took months until you got a positive KDA, obviously you won't feel positive feelings, the only way to improve is to brute force it, play what you want/follow your interests to keep your mind focused on the goal not the misery you have today) (you also didn't change your main/role every game, you stuck with 1 champ you REALLY LIKED) - suffering is the only way to change things ("suffering" is also just a construct of the mind, notice the exact moment that you suffer and then try to not attach feelings or identity, think of yourself as a robot that WILL do it's job no matter what) (this is abstract, you cant understand it from 1 sentence) - if you don't tryhard in the areas that interest you, you will only see the suffering, because its not worth it for the result you get (since you don't want it) (imagine playing only supp in LoL instead of playing the champs you want only because they're better to gain elo at the moment *figuratively speaking* ) - if you don't have a balanced tryhard/life cycle you will burnout because, again, you only see the suffering (make it a rule to split it 50/50 of tryharding and fun shit, DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THIS, you probably will, so please notice the next time you burn out why you did so) -LOWER THE BAR TO THE LOWEST IT CAN GET. Here your ego will fight you, so you just have to accept sucking NOW for 2 months, because if you don't, you will suck for 6 months because you're just spinning your wheels in 1 place ( When you see someone bench 100kgs, but you can't despite "training for 3 years", you just haven't mastered all the details behind being able to bench 100kgs) (practically, lowering the bar looks something like this: if it works for others but for some reason not for you, the reason is exactly that you don't understand the even simpler subjects first.) - All of this is basically to combine the part of your biggest desire and achieving flow state. -By following your desires you will never burn out in the long run (because it SHOULD AND MUST be FUN). Know that if it isn't somewhat fun you will not stick for the long run. Also know that meaningful changes happen in >1 year. After the tryharding you should do the fun stuff about your desires, it also counts as practice. (if it makes sense for your desires ofc) Even if there isn't any fun at the moment (because you suck still), then find fun in other areas. BUT MAKE SURE YOU DID YOUR TRYHARDING THEN MAKE SURE TO ADD SOME SPICE IN YOUR LIFE AND DO SOMETHING FUN. By achieving flow state you can assure yourself you did your job on the practical sense of tryharding everyday. START YOUR SESSION WITH SOMETHING KINDA EASY (like, the thing you practiced yesterday) THEN GO TO THE HARD STUFF FOR TODAY THEN GIVE IT 10 TRIES/MINUTES UNTIL YOU GET THE "rusty" OFF OF YOU. (or to just actually grasp fully the thing you need to learn) ONLY AFTER YOU GRASP IT FULLY, THEN YOU TRY SOMETHING VERY SLIGHTLY HARDER !!!!!!! If you ignore this, you start immediately with something you suck at, you fail immediately too, your brain will go like "oh man, now I have to do this FOR 3 MORE HOURS" and you drop it. !!!!!! If you have a small win first, then you fail, your brain will be like "well atleast I won something" or "well, I know it gets better" (notice its only positive, if it ain't positive thoughts, you're doing something wrong from all the above) (and I mean ALL) !!!!!! you wonder how games are addicting? THE MMR SYSTEM AUTOMATICALLY LETS YOU ENTER FLOW STATE. If you're plat, the mmr system won't let you play againts challangers, neither bronze. This is exactly flow state. Just a bit harder to keep your interest and not overly hard to the point of giving up. Going into art/programming/business/working out, you will either overshoot or undershoot. Imagine wanting to make a riot splash art when you cant even make a proper face. Imagine wanting to bench 100kgs when you can't bench the bar. END NOTE 1: this is all just a guidance in what to look for, you need to experience it yourself, you will overshoot and undershoot and it is in that "experience" that people talk about when you see others that "got their shit together". It takes time (took me a year to understand how to tryhard properly). Its like adding too much spice or too little spice in your cooking, only after 60 tries you get it perfect and FAST (at the start you will be very slow and you will just fail again lul). Only after ~100 tries you dont even need to follow the recipe or even measure the spice you're adding, you just guess and its perfect everytime. This is how progress looks like. END NOTE 2: None of this will resonate with you if you don't even have a reason to stop wasting your life with games. That's a whole different game, there are no tips for that, it's only just straight up THINKING about it and random experiences that will give you a different take on life. (like seeing someone else that was trashy like you succeed in life)

[@D9xAbstract]

I disagree. I'm happy with choosing the life of dopamine and I dont feel shame at all.

[@aerasoli7908]

Very underrated comment. Thank you 😊 💓 As someone who has goals in life that requires a not so fun start, this was helpful in many ways. Half of me can settle for the life of dopamine, the other half is simply inducing suffering for being left alone 😔

[@enzie8786]

12:37 FFS I WAS LITERALLY THINKING THIS YESTERDAY. Ok so, I was drawing, went to get food, and when I came back, all my drawings looked crooked and I hated them all. I hated all my art within half an hour of creating it. And on that page, I signed and made a note that said basically smth like "the fact that I already see all the mistakes shows that I am improving. So I'll learn to take comfort in the knowledge that this pain is proof of my progress". Really glad I stumbled upon this video, lots of useful stuff here

[@sharknadofartquake2449]

LOL Holocure is a video game with WACK PIXEL graphics so it's not any better than reading a book or just slightly better I'd bet with getting more dopamine! The important thing then is don't be like Asmongold and hit yourself with your controller when you die A LOT before you get good!

[@RFLCPTR]

Dr. K explaining the meaning of Evangelion

[@LukeSnywalker523]

I'm on what's supposed to be the last day of a 2 week detox right now and I failed about 4 days ago. I don't know how Dr. K keeps reading my mind (I managed to stay away from Twitter, Discord and video games the entire time though, and I did part of the Blender donut tutorial!)

[@bulletfastspeed]

Reframe. You didn't fail, you just didn't reach your goal. But even a one week detox is pretty awesome imo.

[@TheOppaiLord]

Bulletfastspeed is right, you didn't fail. Just try again, you managed to start once; you can definitely do it again.

[@JB-zw3pl]

That's very commendable my man, you definitely didn't fail in my eyes.

[@pepsy910]

HOLY SHIT EVERYONE STARTS WITH THE BLENDER DONUT LETS GOOOOO

[@kype5258]

Oh so all I need to do is just stop... geez why have I never thought of that?! Thanks Dr. K but this one wasn't a really helpful advice (for me at least)....

[@cio4720]

Its funny he says "i am only capable of the bare minimum" but he is doing constantly something he is watching porn and youtube ALL DAY and plays games ALL DAY... and then you wonder you have nearly no energy and motivation for anything else? like you know this stuff is really exhausting too right? you need to learn to do nothing when you want to have any motivation and energy or you will just keep going with 6 hours of sleep drinking coffee and energy to stay alive and having no pleasure living life. the concept that we need to do something constantly is soo new to us... in nature you hunt and gather your stuff and do a bit of farming then you eat something with your family and friends and then you legit do nothing but chilling maybe lying or sitting somewhere with your friends and family and you legit have nothing else to do... like there isnt much you can do... besides working but you dont work for 16 hours a day and gaming is legit like you work there is no diffrence for your brain... ive read an article that hunter gatherer ancestors did work for 4 hours to gain their food per day and then what do you do with the rest of the day? we need to learn to chill again bro like legit chill... meaning doing nothing... greetings from germany

[@TehKarmalizer]

I mean, it does end eventually… This really is a top tier reframing. I have watched previous videos about motivation, but reframing feeling unmotivated as an orientation problem couples really well with previous observations that motivation is a well and certain activities dip very deeply into it. It’s fascinating how wisdom unfolds in different ways in your content over time.

[@yungmun4155]

It does end but starting this path with such “when does it end” perspective in mind will make it so much harder for you to eventually feel the gratification that comes with going the rough way

[@loganwolv3393]

Person: So when am i gonna actually enjoy the other activities and stop my cravings for quick dopamine hits Dr.K: That's the neat part, you don't.

[@huguesblanchard148]

Guess i'll choose death then 🤷‍♂️

[@hevanen1]

I think this is misleading. You can learn to enjoy or at least get used to some other activities (not all though) and abstaining from dopamine also reduces the craving for it. I think the main takeaway from the video should be that there is no magic switch that will make packing your gym bag as "fun" as a heroine injection, so you should stop looking for one.

[@SirHolmesxd]

adhd medication actually can somewhat do that but it hasn’t felt like a consistent, sustainable long term solution to me

[@deemah3602]

@@SirHolmesxd you mean amphetamine?

[@cabellocorto5586]

*"What do you want out of life?"* For it to be over already, I hate it here. Honestly at this point in my life I'm completely apathetic to really changing anything. I don't really have a huge desire to "do something" with my life. I don't want for a lot of things. I don't have dreams or real passions or hopes. I don't want to go out and "live life to its fullest". I have no desire to just hit the gym brah, just talk to chicks brah. Nietzschean platitudes about embracing the pain and becoming an overman don't really resonate with me at all. Maybe at one time they did, but not any longer. I think I've actually just crossed a rubicon into complete degeneracy and I'm okay with it. The only thing that has really helped me, actually given me a measure of peace of mind, is realizing that free will doesn't exist, and the universe is either predetermined or completely random, neither of which allow someone to be free to author their own life. So whatever happens with my life is out of my control. No need to worry excessively over it. Whatever happens, happens. Que sera, sera.

[@bassaml4438]

I think being an author will work smoothly with you, what amazing philosophical thoughts you have.

[@cabellocorto5586]

@@bassaml4438 Not sure if you're being ironic or not

[@bassaml4438]

@@cabellocorto5586 I'm sorry if it seems ironic to you, but this is my honest opinion.

[@cabellocorto5586]

@@bassaml4438 Ah, it's alright. No offense taken. I just assumed you could've meant it ironically and sarcastically, so I just wasn't sure.

[@oponomo]

"Pornography is the antidote for inner demons" - Doc. Kanoja

[@picapica201]

it's more like "coverup" though? It doesn't cure them, just lets you ignore them.

[@roadtoempowerment3316]

If you aren't getting at least a mildly intense dopamine reward from exercise you're either 1. not goal setting and tracking progress. 2. your form exercise has a small margin for progression 3. not sweating enough or really pushing yourself (endorphin central from saunas) 4. gamifying your damn goals !

[@ZariDV]

Whether or not youre getting the dopamine reward from exercise isn't usually the issue. It's the idea that you had to put in so much uncomfortable effort to get that reward when there are so many other easier ways to get that reward that's actually fun, simple and addictive. Even if the exercise itself was kinda fun, it's still going to be a lot of effort. When people eventually think of exercise after a few weeks or months, you don't think of the reward, you think "ahh shit I have to go exert all of this energy doing this crap". The boost doesnt feel worth it in comparison. It's like the boost is nice but it isn't even slightly equal to the strain you put your body through. Which is where Dr K is right. Waiting for the "pain" to stop is an easy way to stop working out because the balance isn't there. I wake up for the gym and I can't think of the dopamine hit post workout because I can lay in bed all day and get that high without the effort.

[@enzolumare5680]

But what is the reward? Health? That is a long-run reward and it’s not that noticeable. Getting jacked? Not really interested. You know what I recently have been interested a lot in? Music. I am trying to learn how to play the Electric Bass and it gives me genuine pleasure because It’s something I like. Working out just isn’t something fun and not because learning how to play an instrument doesn’t require blood, sweat and tears. I just won’t be as compelled to exercise because it’s not as interesting as learning music or playing videogames or watching anime. I also learn Japanese because I really like things from Japan and it was a struggle for quite some time. I clearly have the motivation if it’s something that interests me bit otherwise I just don’t ser the point

[@VWHybrid]

Wait, y’all DON’T get high from reading books? The best dopamine rush I’ve ever gotten was from reading really satisfying endings to good books.

[@joaopedrocruz6432]

But not immediately like these other things, sometimes the reading journey can be boring for some people even with a good ending.

[@Striga889]

But a lot of books have a very enjoyable journey as well. Many games are even formatted in the style of books (visual novels, plot driven games). This is the one point where I personally disagreed with the video on - the ability of books to give dopamine. They take a bit more effort, cause you have to read rather than just exist, but the enjoyment can reach equal heights.

[@hevanen1]

Yeah, right? I remember one christmas as a kid where my first present was a book and 3 hours later, when I finished the book, I remembered who and where I was and that I was unpacking my presents. I think Dr. K must have been thinking of all his medical books when he said that.

[@joehaqim1843]

Honestly some people have been saying like reading book is a totally positive thing.... I mean, playboy magazine is...a book too i guess.

[@Munkee1980]

That was interesting advice, but my question is... if nothing interests me, how do I decide what to do? Is my future to either do things that are bad for me but feel good, or do random things I don't like but that might be good for me in the long run? I got to a point where I'm not even enjoying games that much any more, but I keep doing it because it beats doing nothing at all.

[@riki4644]

I feel the last part

[@antisocialvigilante7697]

>if nothing interests me, how do i decide what to do? You do everything you can think of. Maybe more if you ask someone for suggestions. There must be something you've always liked? If something sticks on your mind you know you've found it

[@StirsMYCookiez]

IF nothing interests you, you haven't looked long enough

[@Iudicatio]

I think Dr. K would say that at the beginning you will need to do nothing and embrace that. Eventually you will be inspired to do other things because it will start to feel appealing in comparison to nothing or menial tasks like cleaning. That will become your new baseline.

[@AisenYtub]

So... all this time.. I was very MOTIVATED . . just in the wrong direction

[@Sestaak]

Dude, tbh, I feel it's really important to mention that in reality, when you're really in that healthy boi life, everything feels more or less as good as a lot of the dopamine shit. Like, I'd argue it's even better, things may be rough but since everything else is so good I don't mind nearly as much. It's sort of negligible, because everything else is so fulfilling and most importantly, genuinely enjoyable. It's so much fun, just as much or even more enjoyable than video games. You don't get over the pain, you get into it. Then suddenly you realise, it's not painful at all. It actually feels really fucking good. Sure, it takes work, but whenever I healthed up, I felt it was totally doable and not that big of a deal doing that work.

[@furiousdestroyah9999]

Really depends on you personally though. Some people couldn't care less about their health

[@Sestaak]

​@@furiousdestroyah9999 What a lot of people describe as "personality" is frequently more like "current state of mind", personality isn't some static thing. Some may have more reserves and thus are able to better withstand stress like bad health, but eventually health catches up to pretty much everybody. Whether or not they care hardly matters when they eventually end up with issues.

[@furiousdestroyah9999]

@@Sestaak I guess that's true about non-depressed people

[@Sestaak]

​@@furiousdestroyah9999 >implying I am not struggling with depression and have for 15 years depression is sort of a meme that preserves itself. so many depressed people say 'oh I'm depressed though so things just don't get better', but that's the exact thing keeping the depression up and the people down. I know that because I've been in and out several times by now. That disease makes you think that nothing ever gets better and everything is just bad and it's just bad luck because you got depressed and thus nothing will ever work out again. Sorry, but that's wrong.

[@furiousdestroyah9999]

@@Sestaak My bad, I misworded that, should have said people that aren't depressed to the point where they're ready to bite the dust. Things can always get better, but for some people it'll never be good enough and that's just how it is

[@vietnamese_man]

Some other related topics Dr. K touches on I think are important to this overall 'dopamine cycle' we all get into from time to time (maybe all the time, if you're like me): Dharma - duty, working through and embracing suffering Karma fel - planting seeds everyday, focusing on actions over results Sangha - community: maintaining interest by immersing ourselves in groups of ppl with a common interest Meditation and focus - developing a 'one-pointed- mind Ayurveda doshas - framework for personality types; determining optimal workflow, etc. Motivation, intent, goals, expectations - the coaching workshop videos are a really good resource Shame and other negative emotions - teaching us how to process and become aware of them Satya - the power of authenticity and honesty Active challenges - taking on more to feel less overwhelmed There's a lot more but these are some important ones that came to mind.

[@immi9748]

The only way is to start other stuff and to realize that you will have more fun at playing games after your work fnished (there is no better only a way to make the best better). Why trying a Dopamindetox when you do it automaticly by doing other things? Its not stopping with things, its to start with other things. if you only stopp you leave a empty hole that wants to be filled. its not easy to find things you like to do instead of games and all the other stuff and often you dont realize it that you can enjoy other things. also to get to the point where you can get ideas what might be a cool thing to do is hard when the mind is traped in a circle. So external stimuly from others can help but then you have to learn to not push others away cause they want to get you out of the dopamin well. i think a good start is e.g when you play alot of pen and paper like games like Devinity Original Sin2 to start to play around with the dungeon editor to get from the passive consuming role into the active creative role where you have to think about what other and you might enjoy. When i look back into my youth there was no way that i could work on a computer i just had to play games. It was realy hard to learn that its a instrument to make work easier in first place. For me it was a learning process that took many years. breaking the computer = games cycle is an important factor in our current society where PC's are omnipresent.

[@WillYum97]

This was very powerful Dr K

[@essennagerry]

I actually disagree. The youtube stuff just like damn cocaine stops being fun at some point and yet you're still addicted. Dr. K doesn't seem to take this into account. I do not enjoy youtube, I was so happy at like 2018 when I finally stopped enjoying youtube and thought soon I'll stop spending so much time on it. It's almost 2022 now. I am learning from Dr. K but I think he is missing this specific piece.

[@LumineMainCharacter]

Guy 1 in chat: How do we get over the pain? Dr. K: You dont. Guy 2 in chat: DEATH

[@co-spartan1734]

The gym is addicting. All the blood rushes to your muscles and they feel like they’re going to explode. It’s like coming. It’s like having sex with a woman and coming. I’m coming day and night, it’s terrific.

[@sii322]

I think I have to accept the fact of doing good things it's hard, but when the work it's done you perfectly can do dopaminergic stuff, just a little and keeping working on what you care.

[@gregt995]

It took me a decade to learn this lesson. You've got to learn to embrace the suck. You've got to learn to embrace the discomfort and pain that is a part of life. Porn and video games and scrolling through social media are all escapes. They are how you run from all those negative emotions you're terrified of feeling. The point of abstinence from these things is not to no longer feel those negative emotions, but quite the opposite, it's to stop numbing yourself from your emotions. The thing is, numbing goes both ways, you numb the positive when you numb the negative. So while you must feel the full force of your negative emotions it opens the gate to fully feeling your positive ones as well.

[@lexiferenczy9695]

I like your way of putting things, but I'm not sure if I can totally agree on this: I think you are wrong by calling the healthier activities like having friendships or reading books the way, which leads away from dopamine and gratification. I mean maybe temporary there are more lean periods to overcome than by watching youtube videos but I have found that watching youtube videos can also get these lean periods - probably due to overusage because there is nothing more to squeeze out of it. So by overusing unhealthier activities like youtube or porn etc you are not really getting much dopamine anymore. I think why it becomes addictive, is because you never "eat" yourself full with dopamine because it very rarely is a true satisfaction. But it always gives you at least a tiny bit of dopamine, not nearly enough to fill the inner emptiness but enough to keep you addicted.

[@woodsofchaos]

Possibly the worst and stupidest dr k video ever. The guy clearly wants to fix his life. The issue is that he cant. Thats what addiction is.

[@vivvy_0]

5:10 thinking of the future fills me with dread, inwant to be dead most of the time. now what doctor?

[@jennabell7992]

The short answer: Become a masochist

[@akilasultana2368]

Reminds me of Robert Nozick’s experience machine example. You must choose what level of pleasure you want, a higher sort or a lower sort. Recommend people read his work on that

[@oponomo]

I have to disagree with doc approach here. There is only 1 type of many people types that will benefit from this message (on this situation). I'm over 'this pain' but my process was not to force through it accepting pain fully.

[@ryanhollist3950]

"What are you expecting?" Well, I keep getting told they will make me feel "so much better." A lot of the messaging I get is promising that taking a hike and eating kale will be as good or better than eating a bunch of junk food and watching porn.

[@iche9373]

Dr. K beschreibt eine Person, die in einem Zyklus von dopaminergen Aktivitäten wie dem Konsum von Pornographie, Videospielen und KZbin gefangen ist und Schwierigkeiten hat, sich für andere gesunde Aktivitäten zu motivieren. Die praktischen Implikationen, die sich aus dem Text ergeben, sind wie folgt: 1. Überprüfen der Erwartungen: Die Person sollte ihre Erwartungen an andere Aktivitäten überdenken. Wenn sie davon ausgeht, dass diese Aktivitäten die gleiche sofortige Befriedigung und Dopaminfreisetzung wie ihre bevorzugten Aktivitäten bieten, wird sie wahrscheinlich enttäuscht sein. Es ist wichtig zu akzeptieren, dass verschiedene Aktivitäten unterschiedliche Arten von Freude und Erfüllung bieten. 2. Anerkennen der Unbequemlichkeit: Die Person sollte sich bewusst sein, dass es unangenehm sein kann, aus dem dopaminergen Zyklus auszusteigen. Es ist normal, dass andere Aktivitäten anfangs nicht so befriedigend erscheinen. Es erfordert Zeit und Geduld, um eine neue Perspektive zu entwickeln und Freude an anderen gesunden Aktivitäten zu finden. 3. Reframing der Motivation: Die Person sollte ihre Motivation hinterfragen und verstehen, dass sie tatsächlich hochmotiviert ist, aber ihre Motivation in die falsche Richtung gelenkt ist. Es ist wichtig, die eigenen Werte und Ziele zu identifizieren und sich bewusst zu entscheiden, welche Art von Leben man führen möchte. Es geht darum, langfristige Zufriedenheit und Erfüllung zu wählen, anstatt sich von kurzfristigen Dopaminhöhen leiten zu lassen. 4. Akzeptanz von Unannehmlichkeiten: Die Person sollte sich darauf einstellen, dass es Momente der Langeweile, Anstrengung und Frustration geben wird, wenn sie ihre Gewohnheiten ändert. Es ist wichtig, diese Unannehmlichkeiten zu akzeptieren und zu erkennen, dass sie Teil des Prozesses sind, um ein erfüllteres Leben zu erreichen. 5. Zielsetzung und Unterstützung: Es kann hilfreich sein, klare Ziele zu setzen und Unterstützung zu suchen, sei es durch Coaching, Selbsthilfegruppen oder den Austausch mit Menschen, die ähnliche Herausforderungen bewältigt haben. Der Prozess der Veränderung kann einfacher sein, wenn man sich mit anderen verbindet, die ähnliche Ziele verfolgen. Letztendlich geht es darum, bewusste Entscheidungen zu treffen und sich für ein Leben zu entscheiden, das auf langfristiger Erfüllung und persönlichem Wachstum basiert, anstatt sich von kurzfristigen Dopaminhöhen abhängig zu machen. Dies erfordert Geduld, Selbstreflexion und die Bereitschaft, Unannehmlichkeiten zu akzeptieren, um langfristiges Glück und Erfüllung zu erreichen.

[@huguesblanchard148]

Well i def dont want to be bored so i guess i'll keep doing drugs and all the not boring stuff. Thanks for making my choice clear tho.

[@Dostendite]

Enjoy the ride while it lasts, this world is going down in flames anyways.

[@Dostendite]

Or maybe Elon, Meta and Google will give us enjoyable virtual worlds to live in, who knows.

[@ohnotagain851]

This hit me like a truck...thank you...for being courageous to say this to our face.

[@DarkDruid7]

So basically the reason I'm not playing guitar is because I'm too much into the dopaminergic cycle. On any given day, I'll play for 10 minutes or so, not trying to learn or play anything seriously. Then it's just "meh," time to play video games.

[@vyvyanne]

I'm currently on day 5 of my dopamine detox after watching this stream, as well as a few other older streams from Dr. K's twitch channel (I was in a consumption binge spiral). So far it's been both really great and relatively neutral. Almost immediately there was a complete 180 shift concerning my 3 biggest issues of not sleeping enough, eating unhealthily and not getting any exercise. I am still unsure of how it happened... but I am so happy that it did. Really looking forward to seeing what else I can accomplish by the time I complete the full 14 day cycle. I am currently working on creating again. If you are reading this and think you may also have a dopamine addiction, I highly encourage you to try a detox --- I think there are a few other videos on this channel that talk more about it. Good luck!

[@Entseinne]

A good home made chicken parsley with citrus and skullcap

[@Herogaze]

For me what worked was getting a bunch of hobbies, I make music, program, blog, workout, walk, practice a language I'm learning just about every day. I'll even read every so often and I'll hang out with and talk to friends constantly. Yeah, they aren't as "fun" as youtube/porn/games, but the fulfillment and positive energy I feel are worth it. It's strange really, it's almost like the "fun" I feel from youtube/porn/games is hollow. It feels like a weak version of getting high really. They're fun in doses but experiencing them constantly doesn't actually make me happy. Creating and taking care of myself, working towards goals, and such is much more fulfilling. It feels good and it's fun in its own way. And If I'm being completely honest I experience the same kind of dopamine rush making a project I'm passionate about as I do when I'm consuming media, except I feel good and satisfied after I finish. This is where I kind of disagree with Dr. K, at least in my own personal experience, I feel like the boredom-pain did go away once I got passionate about what I was doing. And if I feel like I've worked enough on one thing, then I do what this person already does. You switch between youtube, porn, and games when you get tired of one. Well, I switch to a different task, in order to break it up. You could theoretically Make it art, walking, talking to friends or art, reading, gym or art, podcast, learn a language. Worth a try, it may not work for everyone, but it really helped me and where I'm at in life. (EDIT): changed from second person to first person, spelling errors

[@cabellocorto5586]

I've done the hobby thing with creative writing, practicing a language, and picking up art. I do those literally every day, at least a little bit. None of that gave me a more positive outlook on life. Sometimes I get the happy chemicals in my brain from doing those things but most of the time I just don't actually want to do them. I do them anyway out of habit, because they're ingrained in me, but I have not seen any more of a noticeable shift to a "healthier" mindset.

[@Herogaze]

@@cabellocorto5586 interesting, I guess everyone is different

[@boots1622fan]

this is... bad. cant just tell someone who is depressed that life is pain because deadass that is suicide bait for us,,

[@solarissv777]

"you cannot get addicted to hiking" lol what? Do you even hike bro?

[@drodom7259]

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference” -Robert Frost

[@peanutbutter3640]

I'm in 4 days into dopamine detox But is day dreaming okay? stuff that randomly pops up in your head like a youtube video that I've watched, or a Netflix series. It sort of taking over my mind and I didn't actually feel bored. How do I fix this?

[@hamsteratemyhomework618]

Watched a lot of these videos, and yet this is the first time I've felt such a strong disagreement. Personally, the "no pain, no gain" grind set is faulty in many ways but overall, the problem is not that we cannot "embrace" pain, isn't it that we see it as "painful" or a "problem" instead? I could be wrong, I'm also not a therapist, and can only speak from my personal experiences but, "I can't do this thing because it's a pain, and I would rather do this "fun" thing that is more enjoyable" Seems like a lie that people tell themselves, I believe. If you would rather be doing something else, then it is not "fun" but a habit formed from self-doubt, right? In my opinion, the person from the post does not really enjoy the games they play. They could just be doing so out of a certain fear or apprehension to do something else less safe. I think they just want to accomplish something that has a clear achievable goal, with set standard objectives, unlike real life. The one common denominator I've witnessed from self-help media is the idea of "self-awareness" to avoid living unconsciously like this and hurting ourselves. Humans rarely ask themselves "why" they don't do something and seriously mull over it. Instead, we just sort of DO things without much thought or care. Meditation seems like it helps with this too, given the right tools and methods. Though, Dr. K could just be beating around the bush to avoid telling the poster (or chat) what to do. In turn, helping them reach a conclusion themselves. Again, I could be wrong about this and making assumptions lol.

[@PJ-oe6eu]

Yea I agree. He also comes up with a bunch of examples of things that supposedly aren't fun. Like cooking? I'm sure to some people it's less fun but to me, trying to make some good food, trying something new is fun, actually more fun that playing games have been for me recently, yet I still play the games to avoid boredom in general. Reading as well can also be fun and engaging. It's a very odd take imo.

[@VivekYadav-ds8oz]

The trickiest thing for me with KZbin is that it actually serves me things that are intellectual, philosophical (like your content) and has good amount of knowledge (coding and stuff), along with Let's Plays and Marvel theories but that's a small amount. This actually makes me feel good about myself but I know I'd rather put that knowledge to practice (coding) than just watch that stuff. I guess my real problem is then.. procrastination? And when I try to put it to practice, I get mentally exhausted/demotivated within an 1 or 1.5 hours if I get stuck on some bug and can't find it. How do I keep this working state going for hours on end? Otherwise I can't get things done in time.

[@holo6883]

You fail because you're such a failure -Steven He probably

[@kordova2143]

I’m not enjoying all the clickbaity titles and thumbnails. It gives off big “singles in your area” vibes and devalues the brand imo. Might just be me though, and I still appreciate / enjoy the content :)

[@feliox_]

I 100% agree. Ik that dr k cares about mental health, but the tumbnails give the impression that he's trying to feed his ego This is a big no no when you're talking about mental health and that doesnt help his org

[@ea5196]

Hey Dr K - do you ever worry that this is too harsh a presentation of an uncomfortable reality? I imagine people hearing this and being like... welp. I give up. I'll take dopamine prison forever then.

[@kicsiqki]

Okay, what if I said I choose dopamine?

[@wanderingrandomer]

I really struggle with breaking away from these dopanimergic activities after a day of working my job. Paradoxically, on my days off, I can get shit done in my life, but when I'm tired after a day of work, I come home, have a quick nap, and spend the evening buried in KZbin.

[@eligoldman9200]

Actually this may be me but I can cook in any state anytime and never feel like I don’t want to. It’s just so relaxing and the food at the end is always worth it.

[@hevanen1]

True, there are also people who live hiking, myself included. I will always say yes when someone invites me to a hike. But the difference is that even though it is fun, it's not really addictive, not in the way online games or drugs can be.

[@ProtoBuffers]

Dr. K you just made me realize the reason people tend to change their lives after having their lowest lows is because the motivation isn't even working for you anymore and you can lose feelings for those things so you start doing the other shit that is good for you because you will eventually get more for those things but that's why it's so easy for them to get back into the things that motivated them to begin with. So what I heard was Focus but don't say the bad things (you are what you eat just notice the shit you're doing) Do shit you hate (fake it till you make it you are still you intill you are not so become the you you want to be and understand the old you [you are lonely sad and depressed but how is thinking about just reinforces so stop thinking about it]) Pick the shit you want stop complaining and JUST DO IT! ACCEPT YOURSELF! LOVE YOURSELF! thinking about it only hurts you

[@cappu7121]

Man this hit hard... I'm an artist and everytime there is something hard in my drawing I always go back to KZbin or social media. I don't get anything done.

[@Shlooomth]

Yo you’re reading the wrong books if they give you zero dopamine lol. I know that’s not the point of this video but that’s a thought that I had.

[@Dostendite]

True, I have stopped playing games sometimes just because I wanted to finish a book, but his point still makes sense.

[@l0kk016]

Great lecture! About the reading part tho, i have a question.... How does fantasy falls into that? I assume that the "boring" reads that were mentioned are like history and science books and stuff, because as far as i remember some of my most exciting, fulfilling and emotional experiences came from reading fantasy books and manga... And they are pretty close to series, so is this technically the same thing as watching a tv show? Or is it just that some people are more likely to get invested into imagination and get dopamine from it?

[@JLchevz]

The way I think of it is this: Only when I do what I have to do (work, meditate, practice whatever) can I enjoy leisure (games, reading, etc). I can't just enjoy forever playing videogames or reading the whole day, it just does not happen, I have to work and then enjoy.

[@kantjokes895]

Is Dr. K's framing of this as a binary for dramatic/simplicity circumstances or is he saying its actually that black and white? I feel like I do genuinely want both. I want to engage in all of the things that life has to offer, including video games for example, and I do feel as though Im on a path towards something more balanced and fulfilling. Am I wrong to feel this way if I'm not constantly choosing the hard/non-dopaminergic thing?

[@TheOppaiLord]

the reason it's framed in a binary way is because if you're stuck doing dopaminergic things, and you want it to change; then it would probably be a good idea to detox, so that you can get into a more balanced lifestyle. NOT because we should all be living lives devoid of dopamine, but because when you're stuck there, going slowly is ridiculously slow and difficult, and it's a better idea to detox pretty hard for 2 weeks and then slowly reintroduce the things you want to enjoy doing SOMETIMES, like youtube, twitch, gaming, etc In my opinion; as long as you manage to avoid any addictions to dopaminergic activities, you're probably doing just fine.

[@kantjokes895]

@@TheOppaiLord Thanks for your reply! Yeah I think sometimes I forget the context when Dr. K is giving advice because I relate to the thought processes and experiences of the peopel hes talking to. Right, I see how if all you're doing is dopaminergic stuff and you cant stop, then inevitably stopping will involve choosing the thing that is boring, sucks, etc.

[@ik2254]

The most crippling thing for me is music. I can't put it away: i have like a million songs for each and every type of mood/activity. For example, if I'm not listening to music while working, my brain is like that squirrel in Over The Hedge cartoon - it's just twitching all over the place, saying 'gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme tunes, melody, something!' It's like a drug addicts type of thing. And if i put up something, like synthwave, my brain lets go of the strain, and i can work alright.

[@susnail8437]

same for me! everything feels way easier when you're listening to music

[@Todiros]

I have to disagree on healthy habits not providing much dopamine. A couple of years I used to get pretty serious dopamine hits... - when I hit a new gym PR - when I was close to skip a workout but I ended up going - when I realized I haven't missed a workout in months - when I look through my old photos and see the progress I've made - when I successfully complete a rock-climbing route that I struggled with for weeks - when I wrote and published my first article - when I tackle a programming problem and overcome it - when I come up with an elegant algorithm for a program - reading Stormlight Archive book 1 to 3 - etc... I would go as far as to say those things provided me with stronger dopamine hits than social media, games or KZbin could ever do. Yet, here I am, two years later, 55lbs overweight binging KZbin and scrolling endlessly through my Steam collection as no game seems to be enjoyable anymore. Frankly, few things have.

[@Castheknotted]

Exactly what you need to hear right when you need to hear it

[@ratedinspirational]

Recently my therapist has been pushing me towards thinking what I am really hiding behind the question "why I don't want to change?", i.e. what I am avoiding to look at. Every time I come to a session I either say how bad my gaming/porn/tech addiction is and how I really want to quit it, or I go on about how I understand the things I SHOULD do but never come to doing them. This video has helped me realise there is indeed a huge motivation to keep on playing games (and chasing quick dopamine in general) and the realisation of the real life choice actually being the crappy one is eye-opening. That's just what I needed to hear.

[@robertmatthews2154]

Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.

[@oriahknorr4688]

What a beautiful talk on why we need less not more to tackle our modern problems. I went through the journey of boredom coming out of highschool. For years I only played WoW and watched porn, and felt wretched socializing or doing good things for my self. I found the path of boredom was easier, I learned to find the subtle joy in it, when I listed to my heart area where my values, true interests, good intentions, and "soul" reside. Best of boredom to all the fellow gamers out there!

[@etopihpih2234]

Cheers m8!

[@destroyerinazuma96]

Boredom is probably the true fear that's stopping me from job-hunting. That, and the feeling that doing what I like over politics, medicine or activism (which I didn't choose) will be a colossal waste of time no matter how well I do.

[@jonlarge4283]

@@destroyerinazuma96 How do you define waste of time?

[@destroyerinazuma96]

@@jonlarge4283 In short, anything that's only self-serving and doesn't help my family/my village/my country/my society/humanity as a whole. I know that's an f-ed up way of thinking.

[@jonlarge4283]

@@destroyerinazuma96 Any way of thinking can be f-ed up if taken to extremes. Selflessness is no bad thing but it sounds like you're saying you think anything that isn't selfless is a waste of time, but also in your first message it seems that you're saying that there's some conflict between wanting to do things that you like and feeling a need to instead be selfless? KZbin comments probably isn't the place for life advice, i've just known a few people be selfless to the point of it being exploited by others, and knew a girl that poured so much of herself into what she thought she "should" or "needed" to be doing that it became detrimental to herself. This might not be relevant to you, maybe you're talking exclusively to do with professions. I don't know enough, it just struck a chord. Just uh, time spent to keep yourself fit and healthy whether that's physically, mentally or emotionally, whatever form that takes, is very rarely a waste of time. Stay true to yourself buddy.

[@LukeySpooky]

Watching the experimentation of titles and thumbnails as the channel evolves is unnecessarily interesting

[@theodorelapointe3624]

Thank you doc. Can you make a video on forgetting trauma and images from our mind.

[@bigbadlara5304]

I got EMDR treatment and while those images still are there. I don't get a strong emotional response from them no more. Psychiatrist did EMDR on me. It's a good thing to look into and I know it seems weird that's what I thought too.