Why You Keep Attracting the 'Wrong' Person in Relationships - Teal Swan

[@kaylad52]

Wanted: a man who will reject me the minute I feel a sense of attraction. I want to be walking on eggshells and have constant anxiety around you. Judging me is a must. Make sure you and your friends mock me every chance you get and belittle my emotions. I especially do not want you to be there for me. Only show me affection when it is to late. Make sure you hold double standards. While you are holding me to your double standards, make sure to yell at me, and constantly reject me. Rejection is KEY. Now that I am a hot mess, complain to everybody and make me look like the bad guy 😙

[@leeyang1972]

+Kaylamarie's diaries u are full of drama lol. women who are full of drama isn't healthy for a relationship. pls don't make babies.

[@kaylad52]

lee yang do you not understand the point of the exercise?

[@kennetheugene6402]

+lee yang they didn't 😕

[@SP-li7wn]

This is my current boyfriend to a T!!! So you must know my unconscious pretty well. Thanks for the laugh and insight.

[@jocelineneves337]

omg 😭 me !

[@lauraleehenry5657]

Thank you, Teal. Your video had me in tears. As I reflect on the qualities that I possess and all that I have to offer someone, yet, I keep attracting men with the same negative qualities from my past. Thank you, thank you so much. Going forward, I now know what to look for in a partner, address unwanted behaviors right away, and if it is not resolved, walk away. I know this video was posted in 2014, but it is still impacting lives in 2021. Thank you very much. I'm still crying, but this time it is because I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is how to go about creating the kind of relationships I want and desire.

[@Misticaquantica]

Hi Lauralee, how is things going to you now ?

[@okipullup7202]

You’re such an amazing person, for not giving up, for finding justice for yourself in love. I hope you have found the kind of love you deserve. Have a good life! ❤❤❤❤

[@cherry-on-toppp]

@@MisticaquanticaI’d like to know as well

[@hermetickitten]

When you described the potential childhood, it brought tears to my eyes. It was the exact reconstruction of my own childhood, my father's issues, my mother's enabling personality, the way I felt. It feels as though this video was made for me. Thank you, thank you so much, Teal.

[@sacmakiz]

I agree. 😢

[@marziasultana4124]

+applepie you are not alone dear. I am having the same. hope we will be able to overcome our difficulties.

[@sacmakiz]

Marzia Sultana Thank you so much dear! Feeling is mutual!

[@mwendwa_m]

I felt exactly the same as this is how my parents and childhood was.

[@kianaraii]

Her voice is so relaxing

[@malabrinetica]

+Amon Ra Aten Ra explain what you mean

[@lovejk8385]

Before you attract anyone in your life - FIRST: you need to love and care for yourself. A person will never love you fully - before you fall in love with yourself. Its always an reflection. The man/the woman will always mirror you! That is my secret and it works wonders :)

[@LEVIAHAN]

I keep attracting the same person always.... NO PERSON! *forever alone*

[@sketchup73]

I don't believe you. Are you sure you are not forgetting something. Watch Byron Katie on KZbin. That may jog your memory a bit.

[@Bigfeet_E]

It's all about choice. There's always some-One with you, wich is You. How can we unravel the mystery (mist story) of love if we don't love our self first ? So i say alone is the best point to start, it is rock bottom. From 'alone' there's no outer dis-traction and the oppertunity to transform to 'All One'. When you find that connection you have shifted and the mist or fog that blocked our view will have cleared greatly. From this position you'll find it easier to recalibrate your definitions of relationship with 'others'. Others are other expressions of All One and thus unfold its link to You. Be it any-thing or any-one, they're all creations out of love.

[@frodoggbooboo]

We are all one in unity so that is a current illusion.

[@Seagull780]

Bigfeet_E Yeah, I'm the worst stalker ever

[@franmcginley8438]

Cross out the word ‘home’ and write the word ‘love’…That’s a lightening bolt moment, right there!! 👌🏽

[@alex-ander-13]

Thank you.

[@karolinah12]

What I'd like to know is why only some people are affected by childhood and others are not. I know plenty persons from traumatic homes who have found and kept great relationships . And I know peopel from happy homes who are alone, and cannot settle .

[@Wisdom-ft5dx]

Maybe because people from broken homes have valued the relationships and became matured because of life circumstances, while people coming from good families are not that thankful and want more. Life never challenged them to look beyond . What do you think ? Any more observation , would love to know your views.

[@Brianboru-k8y]

Victims like being victims. It absolves them of the need to think for themselves. I accept that some like Teal have a hard row to hoe. But she has mended, mostly.

[@bluebutterfly5062]

Life is not as simple as A+B=C. Sometimes what seems to make sense, does not. And what doesn't makes sense, works perfectly. Life is an individual journey where everyone has to go on their own path and all the paths are different in their own way

[@tibiturio]

Love it. Teal please do a video about how to attract the right person, how to get rid off all those things on the subconscious mind. Thanks. 😊

[@vscorpionxiii]

YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please! TheSpiritualCatalyst

[@TheMillyVanilly]

Agreed!

[@mindful-communication]

You can’t really get rid of them, it’s basically just doing the homework of becoming more aware each time. Def not easy! She recently posted a video on how you get the same things each time for you to choose to make a different choice. If you “prove” the universe you can choose differently then you have broken the pattern. Again, easier said than done 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Rashiyoutube]

My father was an alcoholic, physically, mentally,emotionally and financially abusive. Had seen my mother getting beaten up on every other day. Left home on various occasions. Spent nights on terrace. Lived in fear for 16 years. My father used to hit my mother and she took out all the frustration on her kids by beating us in return. My father died at 44 years of age due to heart attack and my relationship with my mother went south after that. I guess she herself couldn't get healed from all that trauma. Lost my mother last year to covid and somehow that was the time I started seeing my patterns of choosing partners exactly like my father other than the physical abusive part. Now started my journey of self love but I still don't trust my judgments now. Yet too broken n scared.

[@priyathapa2391]

Same here, dear

[@jasonmgavitt2357]

love should make you feel safe.end of story.if you dont feel safe then its not love.

[@LIMITSDESTROYED]

She's so happy with the exercise topic

[@balqeesthecatlover7287]

This video made me cry 😭😭😭 teal swan you always get it right... I found the answer that I was searching for .. I love you teal swan ♥️♥️♥️

[@TheRMartz12]

Amazing. I'm so closed minded about spirituality and I loved this video! I love the mix you do with spirituality and psychology.

[@00Kath]

Fudge, thank you so much. I wish therapists and counselors would work on this more with individuals. This helps us understand why we get into toxic relationships and the bad cycle associated with those relationships and our subconscious mind. I am struggling to heal it’s been a long journey but I am determined to understand myself more, heal and live more fully in the world and share my knowledge of this process with others. Thank you for your wisdom and help. I value & appreciate you, Thank you.

[@cshortridge1]

OMG!!! I LOVE Sarbdeeps `deer in the headlights` look!!

[@littlebigballsack2572]

I guess this explains why Chris Brown brutally beat Rhianna even though he said he passionately hates his father for beating his mother....

[@Loch1210]

Also Rihanna put hands on Chris

[@va5348]

You guys have balls putting it out there like that! Thank You! Very very helpful!

[@sunhalosonia]

I love that she makes us take action in almost every video. I've been watching lots of channels and i think Teal is the only one who makes me take action

[@maurizioviera]

Another way to look at this is the Carl Jung's "anima/animus" archetypes. We gain power over them by making them conscious.

[@madcatdrclaw]

Love seeing you and your man together in these videos, so adorable! Thanks for doing what you do

[@JG-gx4er]

Synchronicities on synchronicities I don't know if it's you or the algorithm or the universe but seems like every time I click on one of your videos it has been put in my way specifically for the subject I was just thinking about or talking about or whatever. Keep vibing, chica

[@cfapps7865]

Sometimes you don't know what love is, though you are sure you do, until you discover it on an true unconditional level.

[@kevinwilliamson2236]

If you are smart enough to become aware of yourself and your learn from each relationship, each relationship will get better as you grow internally. Its the dumb people that stop growing and evolving that have the same relationship problems that will obviously repeat themselves. Its not rocket science, its all implies to the famous quote I live by... 'To know thy Self'

[@vscorpionxiii]

I agree with you

[@maxeterchester]

joe shmoe I agree and I think it's making the unconscious conscious that helps. Once we can learn how to become aware of our unconscious selves and see what is going on, we can change. But if we don't, we are doomed to continue in the same patterns. It's as they say, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

[@SavingwithSave0ne]

This video is going to save my love life. Bless your heart.

[@cecig8233]

Wow!!!! This is amazing!! Hit the nail on the head! Thank you.

[@Katharine777]

hahaha i had like a 2 hour convo last night with a friend about how he attracts the 'wrong' relationships because of his subconscious mind. and then this. love the synchronicity, love you teal!!

[@Anjani-S-Siegrist]

Wow Teal!! You got Sarbdeep to share some vulnerability ... that was beautiful ♡ I'm doing this process now and it is very revealing.

[@lt3968]

So ahead of her time. Love Teal.

[@taizen39]

basically, we have been vibrationally 'imprinted' from our family. Those vibrations felt, beginning in the womb can be altered? that is a relief. My 'wants' ad was almost the same as what you used as an example. Scary! I wish you the best and thank you for your time and efforts for these videos. They have helped me quite a bit!

[@2-3-B]

Teal. I have been looking for a woman like you my entire life. and now, I have found you. Thank you :)

[@Miyankochan]

When you say: "Ah! This feels familiar. This feels like love! It must be love!" you sound like a Disney princess :DD

[@michellesalem82]

So true to the core, its the first time I realise the common pattern from home to partners, the same repeated feelings, issues and behaviour. I yet still need to change this programmed wired subconscious love meaning to me to be able to welcome a healthy new love 💘

[@selmagoa9911]

OMG thank you Teal, it's amazing to see how much home negative feelings match with what I got in all my relationships! Yet the power of the subconscious is so strong that I kept on dating guys who, at first, seemed to be the opposite but later revealed to be as controlling, manipulative or unavailable, etc. as my parents...So this means that the subconscious 'knows' what the conscious mind cannot grasp?! And what about the lack of communication? If it's something you've been so used to with your family, this shaped you as a person who can hardly communicate...I mean some lacks are very hard to fill up or change...How do we get rid of fear associated with love? I'm so tired of going from a trauma to another!

[@CristalLaLune]

That is the most on point video for me... But really, becoming aware doesn't seem enough to change the pattern and the biochemical attraction towards the wrong persons. Even if I consciously choose a good partner, his presence quickly becomes absolutely unbearable for me, no matter how perfect everything seems on the surface. How to really change that hell trap?

[@terrycraig6386]

Are you repulsed by good people? In other words, are you attracted to uncertainty in a person?

[@CristalLaLune]

@@terrycraig6386 yes, I seem to be repulsed by some good people

[@Starlightkaelidoscope-sr1lv]

I’d like to point out how hard it is to change a pattern, in general. The pattern was fed for years and years, so you have a lot of unconscious habits and your brain is also literally mapped with neuronal connections to make the habit even more easy, skilled, quick, and pleasurable. It’s like a bus driver. When you look at the MRI of a bus driver’s brain, you can see he literally has some parts of the brain bigger than normal people, unsurprisingly those related to geopositioning and navigation. So when you ask yourself to change a pattern you’ve been doing for years, you have to commit hard. Note that it was also reinforced by your family, and the situations you lived in, and the good times too. Yes the good times with the ‘bad people’. Because even though you had a bad boyfriend, and that it was an overall bad and unworthy experience you’d rather not have again, you can be honest with yourself and see that it was not all that bad, right, they were some moments that were positive, or fun, or compelling; plus it was -someone-. What helps me is a change of perspective. Let’s say I go in a room full of girls and I don’t think, you can be sure I’m locked on hot bitches that will abandon me and make me feel unsafe and unworthy…. But if I go in the same room, and I think, I’m a worthy person, there’s an abundance of girls in the world, and most importantly, I’m looking for a long term girlfriend that I could love for the rest of my life…. It’s actually surprising how I see them slightly differently, and don’t fall into that many traps anymore. I don’t know the answer, I also find Teal’s advice to be rather vague as she seems to say here be aware and it fixes the problem, so it’s worth giving it a try and be aware…. But I guess you have to be aware more than 15 minutes or a few days for your -pattern- to change. As for the good guy who’s unbearable to you, I don’t know! I mean, unbearable is a pretty strong word, idk if putting up with that is a good thing. It would be at least good to look deep and ask yourself why is he unbearable? (Hint) Is he stirring a wound that was already there?

[@CristalLaLune]

@@Starlightkaelidoscope-sr1lv Thank you so much, I love you answer, it's very precise... I feel you understand me and the situation well. I will try the switch of perspective. What awareness brought me so far is lonelines... Because I no longer go for the bad guys, never anymore. But as for the good ones, even though I recognize them, I can't. They are not unbearable at first, just unattractive. It's when I push myself and try to get close to them that it becomes very unpleasant for me. The closer I let them get, the stronger the repulsion becomes. The only ' default ' solution is loneliness. But how many years can one stay alone before health, hope, esteem, functionning and everything is affected? I'll keep going on the road of awareness and search for the wound!

[@Angel_01-wv6ko]

Heyy! Did u find solution for that? ...Im also struggling with SAME!! ..I don't go with wrong,toxic guys anymore.. but If I don't feel attraction for someone I also don't go with them .. and because of that I'm currently lonely. Like it's been 6 years now being single

[@kokosrslytv]

major major synchro, came to this realisation when journaling the other day! so happy to have come across this channel!

[@fairyfidelity9110]

are you capable of giving someone hope and snatching it away? perfect match.

[@GREENxTARA]

i guess i missed the part on how to change things, but at least i laughed and now feel better about my problems

[@sofiakou5110]

Same 🙈

[@SP-li7wn]

Thank you Teal. You share so much wisdom, depth, and solice in your videos. Sometimes I watch a video at the exact moment I'm ready for it. This video hits the spot and is some of the most valuable insight I've even had (20 years of therapies) but I believe I picked therapists and friends with narcissism as well. Thank You Thank You. You are a transcendent and amazing being, And I'm very grateful for what you have shared in my world. ❤️

[@awakenedbygrace]

I found this was also a great exercise to apply to work, relationships with children and pretty much anything else in our life!

[@KimSenior]

So true, this explains to me why relationships keep failing.

[@wendyscheiman2017]

She's hot.

[@cherry-on-toppp]

You explained this really well and the illustrations helped! Thank you for creating this video! This takes time and retraining and relearning. We have to stop traumatizing ourselves at this point. These patterns aren’t our fault but we must learn to RECOGNIZE them and rein them in so that we change the patterns that don’t serve our health!

[@sadeanthony2760]

Wow this is scarily accurate

[@patchwerkhoney184]

Well that was exceptionally illuminating. Thank you for this.

[@cosdawg3]

Teal is good. Every time I hear her channels she speaks to me like it's A and B conversation. Some how some way she always C's her way into what my situations. I have gained a whole new level of perspective from her teachings. That is what the world needs, people like her to open our conscious. TEAL RULES! ROCK ON BABY

[@japjeetkhalsa1906]

Hi Teal, Thanks for the video. It was really helpful. One thing that I think could add to this discussion is an evaluation of what one brings to a relationship. There's what you attract, what you're looking for and then there's what you yourself are bringing to the table. I feel that things in life need a balance point, so if I 'want' something, I need to be prepared to offer something in return. This would also benefit from a realistic vs ideal evaluation like you've presented in this video.

[@binni61]

I hear your video in 2023 and it’s still real and actual this topic. Simply Wow how I sabotaged myself my whole life referring partnership and finding solutions in my very bad and chaotic and brutal childhood. Amazing 😮

[@Lawliet82]

Geez, this is deep! I can reach many conclusions thinking about all this the way she said and doing the exercises

[@BurgundyandBlue1111]

You are brilliant...spot on with this. Thanks for sharing. I did the "home" exercise, crossed out "home" and and replaced it with "love" and my significant relationships have reflected that! I am going to find some ways to clear the subconscious crap to help ensure I don't keep drawing the same thing to me going forward.

[@grati8615]

Hi Teal Swan, The insights and exercises you provided us were extremely powerful and true. When I looked at my 'Home/Love', 'Relationships' and 'Advertising'-sheets I was blown away. So now that I am aware of my unconscious patterns (now they are conscious), I have a new question: How can we attract the right partner, knowing what our patterns were like? Should we write the positive WANTED qualities down to attract the right person? Or? Anyways, we all appreciate what you do! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Greetings from The Netherlands , Raffi

[@Exendrallio]

Gotta love this woman! So smart and love the way she talks!

[@Kamsa-x2w]

SUMMARY - Why You Keep Attracting the 'Wrong' Person in Relationships - Teal Swan - We are creatures of habit The way you felt about the world as a child set up your expectations and beliefs about the world children love their parents assuming they love them children assosiate love with home the way children felt at their home is their definition of love As we grow up we deny, suppress certain aspects of us which are unwanted we only allow what feels good or is acceptable for us We come up with an idea what a good things , love is supposed to feel like, that means we banish how negative love feels to our subconscious we create a rift between conscious and subconscious definition of love We only feel attracted to someone who feels that definition of love of the subconscius Your subconscious links all things you connect with home how love is supposed to feel like love equals home and home equals abandonment, that means love equals abandonment people who are not the way your subconscious mind expects love to be you are not attracted to Exercise: Write "Home" on a piece of paper and any association you have with home Most feel positive and negative assosiations focus especially on the negative assosiations towards your home environment and your relationship with you parents Did you feel scared? Lonely? When you finish this list cross out "Home" and replace it with "Love" List on a piece of paper any significant relationship you have had in your life these are partner you have a deep connection with, that you feel you are in love with think of the negative qualities and traits and negative things that occured in the relationship about those partner, write them down What did you dislike about them or how you felt around them´? circle the words that occured repeadedly throughout your relationships this is your subconscious definition of love with the circled words, write an creative ad this is what you are seeking, what you look for, what you are attracted to make yourself lough with this ad compare the findings of the two exercises your negative traits of your childhood home matches the ones of your relationships make conversations in your relationship what the problems are really about to improve them Teal Swan

[@melissaann3522]

this was so uncomfortable and accurate lol great video!

[@salmalachgar]

Guys I just did the test and oh my god im mind blown, it's the same thing on all the papers :) thanks Teal 🙏❤

[@danad.2207]

u crack me up teal. ur laugh from previous loser vid. always makes me happy no matter how sad or frustrated I am. u would be hard to be in a bad mood around. I hope to be amazing like u one day too

[@brentduanefoster]

Here's my want ad: GBM, 36, dealing with serious matters of neglect, rejection and emotional abuse. Looking for someone who is distant, and verbally agressive or abusive. You must always have the last say and not care about what my thoughts. Don't feel a need to invest in me. If your other business is more important than me, no problem. I will work tirelessly to gain your approval. All you have to do is constantly ignore it, or pretend that you actually care. If I sound like the guy for you, give me a call at...

[@sednafloating7027]

no wait, he's mine!

[@reneesampson6566]

Wow

[@brentduanefoster]

Wow, I had to come back to this comment, and all I can say is, "THANK THE DIVINE that this is not my story anymore."

[@eXOticvibess]

Can you do a tea time with teal about the horrors that are going on in fergonsin!! I'd love your insight on it queen!

[@uureemischeel9804]

It was soo fun to watch u two read the ads...very brave, awesome videooo and helpful exercises! One love

[@taitai108]

Lord have mercy on me. I am really trying to understand so much today that is affected by my sad childhood

[@The-Real-Bader-Blade]

Teal Swan is amazing. 100% truth.

[@Thesheeplove2sleep]

You know I am going to try this technique, it makes sense. My mom and dad fought like cat and dogs, and all the relationships I was super in love with we fought, then nice guys meet me and I throw them away. One question thought if you can respond, what do you do about attraction, I met some guys that we get along well, but I'm not attracted to them 100 percent you know. But all the guys that I find super hot, does that mean subconsciously I just like guys that are hot, that also fill in what I think love is?

[@leo8888]

You have to consider something else, too: although it is about the partner, it's also about YOU (after all, there are two - or more - people in a relationship). The reactions we get from others are largely based on who we are (appearance, facial expressions, intonation, etc.). E.g. Imagine Anthony Hopkins and Jim Carrey saying the exact same thing to you: "Hello, Clarice." The way you interpret that will be based on their delivery (which is based on who they are). That, in turn, will elicit a reaction from you which will be different to each, despite them saying the same thing. As such, in any relationship, you have to be conscious of your own role in the dynamic too. (Obviously if your partner has a screw loose and is a dick to everyone, then it's not so much about you.) A fair number of people might say they don't want a suckey relationship, but when you look at their relationships objectively, you can see that they really make it their mission to elicit a certain type of response from their partners. And in that case it won't matter who their partners are, because the response will always be the same - usually something negative.

[@YUNGRJ1000]

this wanted add is hilarious.. basically she is saying whatever you write down about ur pass relationships or friendship or childhood subconsciously that who u are today I get it. and that's who u keep attracting. so to reprogram ur subconscious state of mind u have to erase all those past memories and fill them in with the new experiences u want to have and keep having. the past is just what it is the past..so forget about it move on and become who u wanna be in a relationship with

[@leeyang1972]

+Robert Johnson agree.

[@vanessadefreitas6392]

This thing has finally made sense of all of my relationship stuff in this exercise used for sex kept on coming up and in a lot of my relationships I have been manipulated and then used for sex. After reading it I broke down on the inside making sense of why all of my male relationships or friendships were based on lies and sexually degrading me. It is how I felt as a child and this ping of understanding is like a catalyst for my change. I really don't want to repeat my past so I am glad that I have become aware of what I am attracting based on my experiences of "home".

[@Lookingpeo]

wow oh wow..this makes so much sense .

[@tobytheaussie1376]

Aww, I loved this❤️! It’s nice to laugh at yourself a little about past relationship choices!

[@tartaglia74]

Just want to say I have been watching you for a while, Missed you this summer when you were in Boston, i was in vacation in Rhode Island, I looked for a video about choosing wrong men, and you of course gave me the answer that makes all the sense in the world, now is the time to undo my story for a new one, and allow Venus to share her handiwork, thanks Teal!

[@cornapples2477]

Good one.....best thing I heard I can actually relate to like no other. Idk who you are but great job on this one!!

[@CuriousMom1234]

Teal is a GENIUS ~

[@tanishadas7839]

❤❤ thankyou teal you changed my life

[@wfowler5]

great video. thank you such an eye opener and hilarious as well! Again thanks Teal

[@junemonique]

I realy have to say I love your spirit. Your advice make me think deeper and clearer. Thank you so much for sharing your life.

[@misslee2968]

Thank you Teal - it all finally makes sense..

[@thoomm]

This lighthearted poking fun at self ♡♡♡

[@jamesmullaney5841]

Praise You Goddess Teal. I Love You far more than myself and I always will.

[@nu1773]

It's so painful yet it's making me laugh.. half way through the video and I am laughing in pain. This has been my whole damm life .. 🤣😅😂 I don't remember any of my childhood memories but I definitely have deeper abandonment issues since then.. 🥺

[@yousfiabdelali]

😂😂😂

[@mh.m4653]

You did well. I am greatfull 😊! Actually you combine the explanation of the inner schild and subconscious and couscious Mind. It was clearly to understand. Thanks for charing. 🙏

[@jeanjohnson2911]

Teal - this was so hysterical!! And true!

[@freewomaninchristalone8389]

Yup this makes sense why I’m stuck

[@LizzieeP97]

I managed to attract a different partner and it felt so alien to me that there wasn't chaos! There was no outburst of rage so it didn't feel like love! Obviously this lead to me self sabotaging and pushing the relationship away...

[@lauralupu4252]

Hi! I am curious if and how you resolved the self sabotage. Cause I have the exact same issue you say, real love feels so weird and alien

[@VegaBlondie]

Perfect timing for this video. I needed it! Thank you Teal

[@cocoshines1219]

The made my day!! Teal you make me laugh and cry I love you so much!

[@ThePitchblue]

in retrospect, the men that were madly attracted to me and that have had relationships with me, have usually had violent and/or emotionally unstable and cold fathers (and quite often opposite mothers - caring, clingy, etc). this made me understand that I've somehow managed to portray myself as a perfect delicate and sensual woman in the beginning, only to reveal this "true face" later / be it really true or not. this wasn't done consciously. but this is how my "animus" is, and oddly enough, they were attracted to my masculine side as well, without even knowing it. so it is not only about what attracts you, but also - what you magnetically attract. I guess this goes hand in hand, but I have just had this revelation right now.

[@ivyvelasquez4156]

Brilliant Teal!

[@Miyankochan]

Aaand what if you don't even get to the point of having a relationship? Even though there are always some men interested I'm not interested in them at all. Whenever I am interested in someone, they don't care about me. :D This situation has already stepped over the line of being weird.

[@laylaindy]

This happens to many people but when it happens for a long period of time, let's say.... a lifetime or 20 years of failed relationships due to the reason you mentioned... you have to question yourself whether you are probably looking for guys who are not in your league... or may be it's a different race you are attracted to and that race is not attracted to yours...

[@Miyankochan]

laylaindy It's not like I can choose who I'm attracted to. Or can I.

[@laylaindy]

Miyankochan You are correct. That comes naturally... but what I am saying is that.... what comes naturally to you (to be attracted to someone who's not attracted back to you) .. might be because you are always attracted to someone who's completely out of your league...that's the problem. If you notice that after 5, 10, 15 years you keep on being attracted to people who are never attracted back to you...you should try going out with people who are attracted to you...whom you initially like and admire and try to give yourself time to develop feelings for them... even if you were not attracted to them from the very beginning.

[@laylaindy]

***** Your answer has nothing to do with my answer and it doesn't help Miyankochan. It can only give him/her false hope. When we talk about feelings and about falling in love and attraction... we don't talk about "hard work". Physical attraction is not based on hard work but on personal preferences. The examples you give are exceptions based on personal preferences of those couples who look unusual to the outside world, they seem to be coming from different leagues while they are deep inside very similar. Read my answer one more time and pay attention to the fact that I pointed out that "if you notice that after 5, 10, 15, 20 years you still notice that you keep on being attracted to people who are never attracted back to you...you should try going out with people who are attracted to you". If you intervene and don't agree and think this person should still insist in being with a kind of person who keeps rejecting her when she is 45 years old and still single... you are practically irresponsible and condemn that person to loneliness, sadness and depression.... because based on your advice...she will keep on hoping that some day someone "out of her league" will like her.

[@cuso20]

It is funny my dad would put everything before me (including sleeping on the couch) and I ended up in a marriage with a woman who did the same damn thing. And of course I was to chicken s**t to leave. After 5 years I finally completely shut down and then she left. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

[@cuso20]

***** We certainly do. Glad it made you laugh.

[@patriciagss2024]

Teal, I love your words, they speak to my inner self. Thank you.

[@BlaQFireNation]

That want ad was accurate as fuq! Lol

[@MsYano26]

Thank you Teal, this is really powerful work!

[@KarrieDreammind5]

Ok I'm very consciously aware that I'm attracted to people repeating the same shortcomings of my parents that lead to divorce. But if that happens on a subconscious level, how do we control it and choose to be attracted to someone else instead? How do you know, when you meet someone in a bar, that after a number of months, that person is going to turn out to be a mirror to your parents' flaws???

[@terrycraig6386]

@karrieDreammind5: most likely if you feel a huge attraction almost right away,they are not good for you.its a warning bell that they're familiar.if you don't feel much attraction, don't give up on them right away.they probably don't feel familiar in personality to a parent you had trouble with.give it time.😊

[@KarrieDreammind5]

@@terrycraig6386 I guess that kinda makes sense. But it's also quite sad - to avoid the people you're most attracted to.

[@rebecca_stone]

@@KarrieDreammind5 I know what you mean! But it's not sad if transforming what you find attractive leads to stability.

[@terrycraig6386]

​@@KarrieDreammind5: they're only attractive to you because you unconsciously trained yourself through childhood to be attracted to those people. You can through time be attracted to a new dynamic.😊

[@rogertoole9468]

This is genius and hilarious at the same time.

[@TravelMamaAnnaVon]

How can I be attracted to someone who doesn't possess all the horrible guile and shame that my parents laid on me though? I know that I am attracted to the wrong types, but I just can't seem to want the good ones even though I attract them as well. How can I change this? I've been trying to work on my own self love and vibration for years but it just attracts better guys to me that I am uninterested in. No one quite feels like home like someone who is making me feel guilt, shame, unworthiness, abandoned, and like it's my job to parent them even when they ignore me. I see these marks on people and get out early now, but that doesn't mean that i am getting into anything great. It's been ten years since I've had a relationship as a result. What's your suggestion?

[@SuperWidemouth]

A new Teal Scott video!!!

[@rdias67]

Thanks again. Teal'a always looking out for her peeps!

[@withaissata]

Thank you for sharing the why. But now how do I fix it? 😔

[@deea1754]

You are good. Best problem solving video ever. Thank you.

[@angelaviary444]

wow... i think this might explain i'm still having dreams about my childhood home after all these years. in fact, i JUST dreamed about it last night! honestly, i don't associate good memories with that home but now i at least understand the role it plays on my choices today, more than what i originally gave it credit for.

[@deborahcampbell604]

Thanks Teal as usual you helped me understand something I never gave alot of thought. Ok as for me my Love Language is Gifts just like you. I always get excited when I give someone a gift. For me its like Christmas Morning. Then the one who receives the gift is like what the hell.Then I was hurt pissed omg what's wrong with this person. They had a different way. So thanks for sharing with your Tribe. I love you. Thanks a have a good day...

[@haninboukhris8729]

beyond grateful for you

[@Luvie1980]

This was a very interesting video. I will try these exercises. This made me think about my relationship.