why you need to live for yourself and not for others | journal entry ep. 5

[@Mobirin]

As a 31 yr old Filipina, born and raised with Asian parents, I want you to know that I feel you. I really felt your sentiments. I became a nurse and work as a nurse for more than a decade now just to please my whole family. I love art. My only dream in life is to draw draw draw.. but everyone in the family is a nurse. 2 yes ago was diagnosed with thyroid cancer stage 1, just then I realized I want to live for myself. I'm just done with nursing. Life is short Imma live it well.

[@bandzbandzbandz42]

Inspiration ka talaga ate :)

[@naiarasantanasantos1430]

I totally understand you! I'm brazilian, my dad wanted me to be a Nurse, so I graduated in nursing, but I've always wanted to study Literature and Linguistics. Now, in my 30s, I'm studying it, and it's like a dream come true! I hope you get to do what you want, like you said, life is short! Best wishes!❤

[@Mobirin]

@@naiarasantanasantos1430 I'm glad you we're able to do it. I am still saving for now but praying to embark on the full time art career by next year, after I pay all my debts. I am happy for you, I hope to follow my passion soon too!

[@Mobirin]

@@bandzbandzbandz42 thank you.. follow your dreams. Live your life to the full, sobrang iksi ng buhay. Parang natulog lang ako, now I'm in my 30's na. Hehehe

[@infp_girl]

hi. i am proud of you. and i want to share my story. i am a nurse, too. natigil dahil nag ka anxiety sa pagiging nurse since di rin yun ang gusto kong gawin. a few months ago i stàrted my art career dahil yun din ang gusto ko, i started selling my paintings but unfortunately di nag work but i am not losing hope. ipagpapatuloy ko pa rin, but as of now i am planting fruits and vegetables para may income kahit papaano and i realized sobrang enjoy pala mag garden, like i am motivated na bumangon sa umaga. yun lang. proud ako sa naging desisyon mo. let's do the things that make us happy so that our soul will be happy, too. take care.

[@viively7]

"you can do things scared" ,, this was so eye-opening because i realized i only do things that i am more confident in where i am not scared or less scared but its not always what i want to do

[@TutorednoobXD]

The great Boxer Mike Tyson said, if there’s anything he is scared of he does it. That’s success.

[@raqueeel.04]

i’m so serious when i tell u that ur vids are SO relatable, for real, i feel so heard and understood, love u so much

[@olazajaczkowska2446]

Yas girl I agree so much

[@nezukoyaegerr]

fr TT

[@almomdnilk]

"talent can get you far, but hard work can get you farther" SO TRUEEE my bff is the most talented artist i've ever seen, yet she failed her art class. why? because she didn't put a single ounce of effort into her work, never showed up for herself and procrastinated, meanwhile those who weren't nearly as good got As and Bs because of their consistent hard work. that truly showed me the power of resilience!! chase your dream people, you can do it

[@rickanimaciones4591]

So True

[@Brianna58321]

Wishing your friend the best. I hope she can turn the temporary failure into an important lesson about passion and commitment 🤍.

[@sagiekins]

This whole series has been emotional for me so far because I can relate so much to this. I'm currently 27 and I'm in this stage in my life right now. It's been a long journey of self-doubt and worrying about my future and having to live on this road of perfection because of the eyes that were upon the younger me. Restricting most of my dreams because of the fear of failure and not living up to the expectations of others. I do wish I could go back and give my younger self the biggest hug because honestly, she was so harsh on herself and stressed the fuck out. But now, I've started living for myself and finding my identity and now I've started taking tiny steps into my bigger ones and I feel a little more happier. It's still a long journey but so far, I'm happy to be taking the necessary steps to live and show up for myself.❤

[@AnimeFreakpz]

Awww I’m in the same spot and I’m the same age too! But I still have a long way to go because I suffer from anxiety and am also scared of failure which is holding me back. I want to push myself harder to try and achieve what I want even if I don’t get it, at least I know that I tried and won’t regret trying which is better than not doing anything about it. I hope the best for you! 💕

[@sagiekins]

@@AnimeFreakpz Oh, I definitely feel you there with the anxiety. But, honestly, just taking that first step toward what /you/ want is an accomplishment within itself!! So, I'm hoping for the best for you too! 💞

[@javidgt8]

Im 28 and feeling the same way. Keep your head up. I hope it all works out for us both.

[@notshondrella]

You honestly don’t know how much this comment means to me! I’m currently 17 and so much is happening in my life right now. Stress about university, friends, family, life in general and I really think I should just start doing this for me. Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your life! 💕

[@JjBianca]

I know the feeling and the life you're talking about. I'm almost 30 and I'm feeling tired of everything most of the time lately. The truth is that I have to live my life taking care of myself and when it's not about others and their approval, I kinda get "lazy" to make things happen. 80% of my decisions or goals were about others always. Their approval, love, admiration, pride, public image and so on. And today my eyes are watering when I see such videos and life experiences similar to mine. And I'm tired to be tired and unhappy all the time. Just tired. Let's make our life better and take care of that better ❤

[@matt55592]

“Do it scared, but keep going” So true. You’re never gonna feel perfect and be in the exact right moment to do something, but you just gotta do it

[@angeL_ocracy]

Thank you so, so, much. I’m 16 years old, and I’m too scared to do anything for myself. I feel as if I step one foot outside my house, I’m going to get shot or sexually assaulted, because that’s the mindset my Haitian parents put onto me. I understand that they care, but I have absolutely no sense of independence because they’ve always kept me sheltered. Whenever I try to do something by myself it almost always turns out horrible. I don’t trust myself, because I’m afraid of making mistakes and looking stupid. However, this video helped me realize that I am capable of doing things, I just have to stop blaming myself for everything that goes mildly wrong. Yes I’m scared, and yes I don’t have a set idea on what I want to do in my life, but I’m glad that I’m aware of the interests I have and that I have people out there who’ll support me in what I do. I want to rebrand my KZbin channel, I want to create my own animated TV show, I want to go into voice acting, I want to draw more, I want to write more, there’s so much I want to do in my life. I’m starting off slow by deleting all of my social media (except for KZbin and Discord), and hopefully I’ll become more productive and strive for the things I so desperately want to accomplish.

[@mainlyava]

Oh. Em. Gee. I relate to you soo so much, 😭. My Haitian parents sheltered me so much, (they still kinda do) and my personality definitely changed due to it. Like my parents always telling me to stay to myself, or warning me of mistakes instead of letting me go throughout life experiencing the mistakes, and learning from it. It’s great at times, but others..? Not so much. I used to feel like you as well, i used to be afraid of looking stupid. But one day I jus stopped caring soo much..like YOLO! This summer I also want to write more, and do other things. Anywaysss, I hope voice acting and KZbin goes well for you❤. I hear you.

[@ellielupien3425]

you are so young and lucky to have discovered this so soon in your life. go for those things.

[@banglittlechan]

I believe in you dear stranger! YOU GOT THISSS 💐🤍

[@FAMA514]

Thiss Same here ur not alone we can make it its in the mind

[@im_just_vidu]

It just hit me when u said "You'll only live once". People always says that & I really never cared. But when you said "I'm 22 now & I'll never be 18 or 19 again" THAT'S when it hit me. Cuz I'm 24 now and I lived for others up until now. And when am I gonna live for myself? And what if I'm unfortunate and die young? So I'll never lived for myself? Via, thank you for making this video. Thanks for talking some sense to me ❤

[@byrabia]

omg i feel you so much, i’m 24 too and i’ve always and still kinda am lived for others and worried that they’ll think less of me if I did a certain study or job that I really wanted to do. Years go by so fast and its hard to catch up sometimes. But as Via said the little changes will make difference and we’ll feel ourselves lighter when we don’t worry about how others will think of us as.

[@aena5995]

​@@byrabia time does go by fast I will not lie I thought it's just me one moment I was 18 turning 19 then Covid happened and everything got delayed and now I m turning 22 and my dream to study abroad is still just that 😢

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

I wanna be a teenager forever

[@xunvenile]

I'm 24. I feel you so much!

[@sallybutton6237]

Imagine how I feel, just turned sixty & realised I’ve lived my whole life for the pleasure of others & not myself..things have changed..I may not have long left on this earth but the time I have left will be all about me & my happiness from now on.

[@jaslavie]

Thank you for this, yesterday was supposedly high school prom and I didn’t go (as a senior) - part of me felt that I was missing a keystone moment of high school, reflecting on my lack of fulfilling relationships, and now seeing your video I realize that I have simply been latching so tightly onto the fabricated traditions of high school imposed upon us by someone else. I’m learning to find comfort in my own definition of happiness which ultimately does not rely on these traditions, holidays, or whatever you want to call them. I’m spite of what other people say I should do.

[@via.ilyouu]

no worries babe. i also didn’t go to my high school prom. i also did feel like i missed out but i know that i would get very anxious about social settings even now. we are in this together bestie

[@kadraabdoulkader8033]

hi there, you're not alone on this !!! yesterday may 24 was my graduation day as senior in high school ,but guess what I decided to not go. many people has questioned and judged my course of action , having to explain over and over again why I took such disposition. am yet to drop the fact that I'll take a gap year . most definitely my mom will snap and go crazy , and I'll be the black sheep of the family :)

[@INFP-Turd]

@@kadraabdoulkader8033 I didn’t go to prom (junior and senior year) either and I’m also the black sheep of the family, you’re not alone either :)

[@chocolattefeverdreams4228]

Heyy, the day before yesterday I was also at my hugh school prom. I only went bc a friend of mine wanted to go but left early bc of health issues. I should have realised that it was ok if I didn't want to go in the first place, bc then I was pretty lonely after that. Either way, just know that there's nothing wrong with missing prom and in my case, feeling lonely in a place you expect to have fun in. ❤

[@lilia_casburn]

Honestly, I find myself the opposite; nobody is pressuring me to lead a certain life, but I find that the issue. I search for people to tell me what to do, and find it easier to follow what they think is best, as if that’s better than my own judgement because I’m not sure what I want and I’m afraid of making those mistakes (which indefinitely come). Anyway thanks for the great video ❤❤

[@linh2917]

that’s exactly how i feel right now

[@anuabraham5823]

THIS. I've always wanted someone to tell me what to do so i won't be weighed down by my own decisions. I currently took a course i want to do but i'm not at all sure if that will work out for me in the future. I feel constantly doubtful and scared about my decision. I just hope it works out somehow and i will be less anxious.

[@widowswail888]

I’m the same way and I think it’s exactly because of what Via mentioned in this video; taking accountability. I suppose of other people told us what to do, everything will be easy right? We don’t have to put in much work in discovering things for ourselves. On the flip side, if people told me what to do, would it align with my visions for myself or would it drag me farther away from who I envisioned my self to be? I’m 27 yo almost 28 and I still struggle with this too. I do feel like I’ve been wasting my time though I do also believe that there’s not a specific rigid timeline to someone’s life. Well, here’s to living and growing.

[@lilianamoma]

You can study business admistration, that’s always a good idea because it is very multi faceted, you can get a variety of jobs afterwars. Then once you start working you’ll see what you like and you definitelly will see what you don’t like too 🙂

[@melonpeaches9306]

@@lilianamoma hi can i ask which country are u from? business courses here aren't that in demand so I'm planning to take IT but I'm scared of taking a course because I don't know if I'll be successful after graduating. Any advice for someone who wants to help my parents financially even if I'm still in college (I'm incoming college next year btw)

[@katischurr2710]

As someone who has struggled with their self-esteem and is in their last year of high school, your videos have helped me so much. It's so scary that life is so unpredictable, and I don't know what to do with it, honestly I will try to just do what feels right :)) Thank you for your videos. They're really calming and helpful, really

[@via.ilyouu]

same here love. i am here with you. you’re not alone ilysm bestie

[@LyssieLysse]

I’m 33 and I feel like half of my life has passed me by just from pleasing other people. I wanted to go to art/fashion school after high school, but everyone put pressure on me to become the first doctor in the family. When I tell y’all I burnt out the first month of freshman year! My grades first quarter of biology major was so bad that I got SUPER depressed, moved back home, and settled for another school in my hometown (bad idea). I switched my major again before junior year and (barely) graduated with a bachelor of arts and I felt great about it, but I was still depressed + anxious from the pressure put on by my parents and myself to find a great job. That never happened and to this day I’m working a job I’m not thrilled about, but I need it to pay off my debt. With each passing day I feel my true Self emerging and I’m tired of pushing Her down, tired of ignoring that She’s there. I’m not a doctor (and after working where I’m currently working I don’t want to be one anymore), never will be one. I am Me and no job, accolades, etc. can define that.

[@Megan-lr2hx]

OMG, that sounded like me. I went to a University straight out of HS, dropped out, and moved back home. Attended some close colleges, I barely graduated as well. I had jobs but still trying to figure what I want out of life.

[@dragonflymoki]

i'm starting to feel that living for other people's acceptance and attention is going to make us invisible & I don't wanna be invisible in the only life that i am sure of. i'd rather "fail" whilst being myself than "win" living solely for others

[@thenakitaharris]

"nobody asked her what she wanted" while showing your younger self on the screen made me cry. this hit so hard. "you need to live for yourself, because who the f*ck will if you dont live for yourself" HIT DEEP. thank YOU for this video

[@promise-getahunt1410]

IF I SAY IM CRYING NO ONE BELIEVE ME THANK YOU VIA FOR YOUR WORDS. FR ITS MEANS ALOT FOR ME CURRENTLY I ALMOST GIVE UP ON MY DREAM AND FOLLOWING WHAT MY NEAR PERSONS SAIED TO ME. GIRL I WILL STAND FOR MY SELF UNTIL VERY VERY END FROM NOW ON. LOVE VIA AND THANKYOU SO MUCH

[@xneen_r]

Why did i find you so late I found a week ago and already in love with your episodes I'm still 17 but feels like I need to financially independent already Finding ways to keep me happy in my depressive era from past 2 years Finally gonna move out of my house which doesn't even feel like home after my dad's death I found people like you on yt to keep me going Thankyou

[@half_cactus]

I needed this today. I'm finally going back to school at 25 after years of self-doubt, an ex-boyfriend who put me down for my choice of major, and fear that moving away would disappoint my family (a weird circumstance that was aggravated by lockdown). It's never too late to go after what you want ON YOUR TERMS and no one else's. It's hard to get the ball rolling on so many passion projects that I left behind out of fear of what others would think but I'm happy that I am finding the courage now. Y'all can do this! It's better to live YOUR life than someone else's.

[@debasmitaaapaul]

i am not even lying, it just makes me cry because i can relate to her so much. she isn't only my comfort youtuber but also my comfort person from afar. everytime i feel anxious or have that bad feeling of being isolated/not having friends/social issues etc etc, her videos are really warmth to my soul

[@ashen3207]

I'm so emotional right now reading these comments while listening to these words so happy for all of those who found confidence in themselves and are happy doing what they want you are really strong because it takes alot of courage,time and patience to actually not feel guilty for simply doing things for yourself I'm not at that stage rn saying it is really easy because it's something i want for myself but don't have the courage yet to do it but i do really respect and admire you people for not treating life as a competition, for listening to yourselves and for trusting in yourselves and for those who haven't including me it's alright take your time you can do this, it might take some time but in the end it will all be well

[@janaki1005]

i relate to the academic validation part sm. there's been times when i was satisfied w my grades but my parents had higher expectations and once i realized i didn't reach those i just felt terrible. this video came at the perfect time and it's so comforting

[@janaki1005]

@@sinthrax ik it isn't black and white and im glad they give me the push i need but the grades im talking abt were for a subject i rly rly worked hard for and i scored well above average, just wasn't top of my class like i was for other subjects and that made them upset

[@aspen_19]

I just want to say that I've started living my life as if it really is mine. I'm so proud of myself for finding new hobbies, getting into sports, and posting short youtube videos. I'm also proud of people like you who push others to live for themselves. I hope that whoever's reading this stays healthy and chases their dreams. Good luck guys

[@ephemeralmaple]

i don't see a lot of people talking about academic validation and what it does to you, and having support from your family but,,, with certain terms and conditions attached. so thank you for this video

[@normapadro420]

Hello. I like what you said in your video. I knew what I wanted to do as soon as I could remember. When you are little parents make choices for you, but I learned that I didn't want to be like anyone else. I began to live how I wanted in my teens. While others wore fashionable clothes I wore hand me downs. Once I got older people began to push me away. I just took control, and completed my education. I got into creating things. I got into writing, photography, art, music. I did things that I wanted to do. I created my own world. I live in the world that I want to live now in my own way. As for those that pushed me away I have grown, and am at peace. Life just keeps passing by. The years just keep passing by. It's good to know what you want, and take chances. No body is going to stop you, but yourself. I'm 57 years old now. I had a family member that committed suicide. They always said life is so boring. I never told him anything, because I have never been bored. There are so many things that I can do. What I'm trying to say it this. Finding joy in living is very important. Knowing yourself, and your capabilities is very important. Take care.😊

[@lillian_arin]

honestly, it feels great that there's someone out there who can feel the emotions as you do and for me, that's you! I never ever felt so much comfort just from a video and it felt like I relate to your every words. Thank you so much for speaking from your heart and not just some other people, who pretends.. Love you so much!

[@via.ilyouu]

i love you so much more bestie 🥹🩷🌷

[@adameyan3435]

I'm literally crying right now because I've been very sensitive for a few weeks and I discovered this channel. The first thing I noticed when I started watching your videos was what a different person you are. (which is a very nice thing because such people are rare). I say this because I want to thank you for helping me feel good and for helping me see that I am not late for anything. If I could, I would hug you for helping me understand myself. Love u girll❤❤

[@Gabrielle649]

“Do it scared” you literally inspired me to just do it. I’ve been applying to so many jobs but I’ve been unemployed for months now and losing money. If I’m being honest with myself, I’m just wasting time waiting because I’m too afraid to make the call or answer call backs. I want to pursue my hobbies and try out the interests that I have and I need money to do that. I’m going to call tmw. Ty for this vid

[@Aquisces]

When KZbin put this on my reccommended, I felt like this was the wakeup call that I needed. Everything you said hit home for me when I was mentally admidst of all the chaos being cornered by phantoms of my own past traumas, and knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way, I think I can start moving forward, even though it might take so many years to finally feel at home with myself. Thank You.

[@notchristal]

I just started watching your videos and omg i have never felt so validated and seen by someone. It's really comforting to see that other people my age experience the same thoughts and feelings that i do; it makes me feel less alone. love you girl you're officially my internet best friend

[@goalchaser._8232]

When you say “you are going to die some day so is it really worth it to start living your life for someone else?” This statement stuck out for me because I feel that as I’m living with parents but going off to college soon, right now I feel like I’m going to be stuck in one place for a long time. Yet, I know that it will not happen if I work for the life that I want. I know that I can go places and do many things if I truly focus and be consistent to get there.

[@elizabethle2237]

girl i love your videos, it feels like im listening to a friend give me advice. us being the same age and having other similarities makes me super grateful for your videos and words. it feels good to feel someone validating how ive been feeling lately, so always thanks for sharing!

[@katiethewise]

you're literally one of the best creators on this website. best wishes to you!!

[@via.ilyouu]

my god you’re gonna make me cry

[@HalimoAbdi-np2wd]

@@via.ilyouu what state and city do you live in? It looks so peaceful and walkable 😢

[@PxwderL0vE]

Somewhere in boston she made a video

[@HalimoAbdi-np2wd]

@@PxwderL0vE do you know the vid :)?

[@PxwderL0vE]

@@HalimoAbdi-np2wd living alone vlog 🧸☁ college days in boston, starting self care, cafes, getting my life together

[@rubaizzeldin7610]

I stopped this video midway to type this comment… and I don’t usually comment on videos. I don’t know how your video got recommended to me today at such a perfect timing. I am currently undergoing many changes in my life and uncertainty and I think you made me realize that I am actually afraid. The line you said of “do it scared” really hit me. Thank you so much for this video, I don’t think you know how much this saved me today. It was a really hard day but you were the listening ear that I needed. Thank you for the comfort, I truly appreciate it. ❤

[@drp12189]

Currently I’m in my last month of my first college year. And through this scholar year I’ve felt so lonely because it’s really hard for me to accept that maybe this is not the career that I was looking for. I am afraid to change careers and make my parents feel disappointed with me. But thanks to you I’ve been able to clear my mind ❤️❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜

[@rosalesmickaela]

Same! In my case, I already know what I wanna do career wise (related to arts and design as well like miss via) but due to financial issues and uncertainty I'm stuck on a course that I'm not confident in- basically I can't see myself doing it for a long time (at least). A part of me keeps asking the same question everyday, "Will all this be worth it?". It just feels like I'm wasting my time tbh... I'll be rooting for you! Wish you all the best! 😊

[@Luvluna19]

Gurl same no one forced me to take what I wanted but you never know what you’re getting I was also second guessing my uni my subject like 😢

[@flumiie]

My parents always tell me to find a job, even though I quit last year due to high stress and depression. They also encourage me to not taking too high of a risk. Those influence really deep-down implants me of what I am today. It seems boring & uneventful. Yes, I got the monthly salary, but I'm working for someone else, it's just felt like something is wrong. I don't want to be that guy in the same "crowd". Now I've been seeking for therapy & stuffs, but Via really nails it. Start from the very small things, even though people judge you for it. Especially my parents, every single damn day.

[@nathveyoutube]

It's incredible how much I relate to you even though we live in different countries and have different cultures and upbringings. I never heard anyone voice my fears, wants and values so clearly. It's like you're reading my thoughts. It's crazy. I recently found your channel and it's helping me a lot. Thank you.

[@userhope18]

She really talked it out and I felt like seeing my reflection in it, and I am sure a lot of us must have seen themselves in her words too. I think this episode was quite comforting to me who's going through a terribly hard time mentally. This video simply lifted me up to start living my life once again, for myself

[@serinaelizabeth4126]

I'm 30 years old. THIRTY. It feels so weird to say, because I don't feel it and I barely have been living for myself the last few years, but I recently came across a video that said however old you are in your 20's or 30's that second number is how old you are as an ADULT. So technically speaking I am a 10 year old adult, and that helped me put down shame and give myself more grace. I love that perspective so much and thought I would share. Here's to living for ourselves -stop waiting on others because if there is something I have learned it's to do things even if you don't have someone else to do it with. Enjoy your own company. Go to that concert alone, book a solo trip, take yourself out to eat. Enjoying your own vibe and presence gets easier. Here's to tending to our inner child & living life for ourselves.. the way a toddler does: demanding & unapologetically!

[@engene4198]

Ever since I've found your channel I've found a sense of comfort in the content you create because of how comfortable and relatable your videos are and how it makes me know I'm not the only one suffering with these types of emotions. Love your content so much and I look forward to future videos in this series 🫶

[@mango1333]

Thank you for this. This video found me right as I am in the midst of an identity crisis because I feel like I don’t know myself at all. I’m about to turn 24 and I finally realized that I can just,, do whatever tf I want, but the fear of consequence kept me confined in a cage for so long. Your segment about consequences and how no matter what we do we will face consequences whether good or bad so might as well do what we want to do in order to grow, spoke to me on such a personal level. Like a sign from the universe that it’s finally my time. I’m slowly accepting that I am so capable of anything I want, and this video felt like a warm hug telling me that I’m starting on the right path to self discovery. Thank you Via ♥

[@yadig8157]

This video came to me as I just turned 27 and still haven't done what I truly want in life which is to travel to Asia. I have a bad fear of flying but also separation anxiety and it's hard to make decisions for myself without thinking about my family. But you spoke so well and true that I am willing to start small and work my way towards my dreams. I wish you the best of successes as well as everyone who stumbles upon this video the way I did. Thanks!

[@HopeByrd]

as someone who wants to go into the arts, this means a lot. you’re words are so heartfelt and beautiful and it lowkey made me cry. ur now my favorite youtuber

[@zekiacampbell9176]

I’ve been struggling with finding myself and the next steps after college. I am terrified, because I’ve made the decision to start living for myself and to be positive the best way I can be. This video has designated with me SOO MUCH. Within 16 minutes I’ve learned from you that I am not alone, that it is okay to face the “consequences” because it builds character and it take courage to go after your passion. Thank you for this. Keep doing what your doing.

[@silverkenesis]

this opened a different perspective for how i saw my line of action towards reaching one of my biggest goals. i thought i knew what to do before, but the comment about taking the little steps towards your goals in life made me think more about what those small steps i should take actually should be, and i’m glad it did! this episode was super reassuring, and i’m happy you chose to share where you used to be at and what you’ve learned after breaking away from others’ expectations of you and your future. keep doing what you do!

[@anyone1111]

5:29 it made me tear up when you said this, thank you. I’m glad you’re now doing things you want and I’m so happy you’re feeling confident in yourself while doing so. Thank you for the kind message I reallyyyy needed to hear this especially today.

[@Dearlykassie]

Words from a sister I’ve really been needing… I finally feel truly seen. Thank you for this video. Coming from an Asian family, and feeling like I can only pursue a certain thing to feel validated by relatives and family members… this was so helpful and inspiring. “You are capable”, will now be my new motto to live by until I can really achieve what I want, even if I don’t get the support I need from others.

[@blooming_flowers3412]

Thank you so much for this video! I really appreciate your honesty and being yourself even if it's scary. I'm 23 and I have so many questions, I'm not sure what I wanto to do, who I want to be, what's my hobbies are... I'm learning myself. The worst thing for me is knowing that I am alone and always will be. People will be around but I have to live my life

[@I-dont-care-anymore.]

your videos are so relatable and it helped me realize that I'm not alone. I often have a hard time knowing what I want for myself you made me realize that it's okay, it just takes time.

[@laene69]

7:09 this hit me. tbh this entire video hit me. the most fucked up thing about this entire feeling is that “we” (everyone going through these struggles) know what to do but it’s the action itself that is so daunting. as i’m approaching 22 i’ve been trying to incorporate this mindset into my daily life but like you said. you have to be consistent. and that’s something i feel like i’ve been failing at lately. falling back into what’s “comfortable” but ultimately not what makes ME feel good. so, thanks for the reminder. it’s exactly what i needed to hear rn. and to everyone else feeling lost and scared i’m supporting you from afar. you’ve got this. ❤

[@donutyue]

Thank you so much for these diary entry videos Via! I'm 24 going 25 this year and I myself went on a journey to live for myself last year when I realised I hated everything I was chasing for and I was trying to please everyone as well (cLASSIC ASIAN CHILDHOOD). Since I did, I've definitely felt the same way, stressed out and terrified but so lucky to have loving and supportive friends surrounding me, and now I'm making friends with the most talented, genuine and nicest people with the same mindset as me and feeling super fulfilled despite not getting a fat paycheck (working on that hehe) DON'T BE AFRAID FELLOW 20+ YEAR OLDS YALL CAN DO IT FRFR

[@funnan6054]

When i was younger i had these similar ideas, as long as i'm a good student, as long as i get good grades, as long as i get a job with a nice paycheck everything will be fine. The idea of being perfect to be accepted is still deeply rooted inside me. And while my parents are not forcing to major in a specific field i don't know what i want and what would be right. I feel like i'm making a mistake by going for programming but because i don't know what i actually want i don't know what to do. This journal entry was really helpful for me to understand that if i don't explore what i want now i might get tangeled in a big mess of expectations that were met by the person that was created in my mind and not me. Thanks a lot Via, you are literally an angel 😭😭😭

[@igorbuttos9044]

Did anyone raise the possibility of say....being a MOTHER to you...

[@funnan6054]

@@igorbuttos9044 i can't quite understand what you mean by that I'm sorry

[@bareumi]

As the eldest child, I often feel pressured to choose my own path. When you said that making your own decisions requires you to commit to it fully, I felt that deep in my soul. As a child, I was always too scared to step out of the state of comfort that my family provided for me. Growing up, they would always make sure that they take care of my needs… just so I can follow the path that they decided, since it’s “safer” that way. I listened, without realising that I could’ve made my own decisions too and fought for it myself. Instead, I would curry favour people around me and made myself regret it in the end. My point is - Since we’re the same age, watching your video (this is my first time seeing your channel) made me realise a few things that I forgot to remind myself. To never lose yourself for others. You put quite an amount of relatable mentions in it, it felt like a friend is giving an advice to me.. without putting me down for it :) thank you for the wonderful video 🤍

[@PastelPopsicle]

Via you are doing something so important here on youtube, I'm so happy we all have you, through the unfiltered sobbing rotting mess, to the 'nah im done with this, im gonna get up and do it scared'. thank you for preaching this to us, and remember that you're doing so well right now girl, going so far, even if it feels like you aren't. you're helping so many people, and in return I really hope it's helping you too, in some way.

[@gigistyles7239]

Wow, this hits right on the spot❣ I'm 25 living with my parents and I wanted to do the things I really want, wear whatever I want, style my outfit, etc. But I can't. Mama decides everything for me, and whenever I try to say "No", she's mad for instance, I wanted to try this new style of outfit and she's like No, you should wear this ad that and I don't even have "eye" to see if it suits me or not. So as a result, I would wear the outfit she picks for me and would go on with my day uncomfortable. I love my parents, and I respect them a lot. But I can now see that they don't really support me with what I want. And I'm also at fault for not standing up for what I want. I'm still trying, taking small steps each day. Anw, thanks for this video Via. This helps me calm my anxiety. I know I can make it.

[@fiostudies]

This video put so many things into perspective for me, about living for myself even when there are risks involved (, it also made me wonder, how do you figure out what you should do when it comes down to choosing between doing something for your past/childhood self and doing something for your future self? Like one option is something you as a child wanted to do, but there's no guarantee that it's bring you what you hoped for, whether that be happiness or connection or feeling accomplished; the other one is for you to gain clarity about your future, but there's no guarantee of that either. You are so, so passionate about both, but you can only do one because of the (very real) time constraints, so what do you do?

[@tadak549]

I’ve recently found your channel and I’ve been binge watching your videos. Your videos are very comforting and I love them so much, you feel like a friend and I just want to thank you for making me feel better and making me feel like my feelings are real and valid

[@eudaemonia-bk7kp]

It always tears me up when you talk about the inner child

[@thatteacher_ayan]

I stumbled upon this video randomly but I needed this right now. I'm at that state in my life where I have been feeling lost and behind in life compared to others. I've been doubting myself and my progress. Having CPTSD and depression surely doesn't help at all. But you're right, I can do it scared instead of just living with what if's and regrets.

[@emma.l]

oooo you hit hard with the "i wish i had studies art/fashion" bc I felt the exact same after graudating, I just finished a science degree lol. but I'm lucky enough to have found a job outside of what I studied that allows me to be creative! all hope is not lost

[@jennifermarin2586]

Currently same situation what job did you find 🤔

[@emma.l]

@@jennifermarin2586 I work in communications/marketing so get to write and design posts for social media :)

[@magagama10000]

I feel you! I decided to persue languages instead of chemistry and biology. I hope that it pays off haha. Good luck with your job! I am happy for you even though I don’t know you!

[@emma.l]

@@magagama10000 ah thank you!! studying languages is great, I hope it goes well!

[@jenndaizy]

Watching this as a 25 year old eldest daughter, I can tell you whatever she said is so ffin true !! Live for yourself, throw away the guilt they're only in your imagination they're not real, the guilt you felt is what holding you back from actually experiencing all the beautiful things in life, and that's what making you feel so heavy all the time. Learn to let that go, learn to let a lot of things that weigh you down go, and the people that gives you bad vibes. I rmb telling my best friend about the problems and the stress I was feeling, and he said to me: "Take the weight that you can afford." It was the best advice ever given.

[@Idgafyaar]

This video has literally changed my life.. I can't thank you enough. You deserve all the happiness in the world, ILY💜

[@katsolo6050]

You are so right. I am turning 21 this year and I have spent the last 3 years going to school for nursing, a major I did not even want initially. I spent all my years convincing myself that I wanted it that I never looked into what I, as myself, wanted to do. It was not until my parents realized I wasn't doing the best in school for it that they told me that I could finally pick what I wanted to major in. A major I would actually be motivated to do. It hit hard when i realized that I never thought about anything I actually wanted to do in life at the age 20. For the first time in my life I actually feel like I am going down a route I wanted to go down. I am still struggling not to force myself to be what others want me to be, but this video really helped.

[@dunoo751]

it's so nice that your videos are like a reflection of our diaries! so warm and real 🫶

[@via.ilyouu]

ilysmmmm

[@katey.shu02]

everytime i wake up, i always thought about the things that people think about me... and i just realized how much it affected my day to day life, i want to change that and I'm starting right now. tbh, I've been in this loop for a long time now and i hope i really get into it this time. ur vid really helps, thank you! 🩷

[@CutieKats]

I'm glad this video was suggested to me. At this point in time, I'm at a cross with myself; an identity/existential crisis of sorts. And it's one of those never-ending cycles that come back to haunt me from time to time; one that I was never able to fully express clearly, but you were able to. Not at me getting emotional at a cafe 😅 Everything you said was so relatable. Though I can't say 100% that they're the same reasons for me, I low-key think it is. 7:09 hit me hard -- "you can have your doubts, but do it scared" -- fear is one the main factors of resistance for people, hindering them from reaching their goals. And it is mine. On the rare good days I believe in myself, I can put in all the effort and time into studying. Into managing my small business. But it goes down the drain just as quickly. And I stop. It is so SO hard to stay consistent when I keep thinking about all the ways I can fail. 9:17 "if you don't believe in yourself, who will?"--- it's funny because my friends/family believe me 100% but I can't. It's just me. I'm the one stopping myself in my tracks and resisting my supporters as they push me forward. I think I was being pretty selfish, but I guess I wasn't being selfish/shameless enough. 13:19 THIS. The "do what you want BUT..." : it makes me so frustrated hearing this because for me, it's like they're underhandedly telling me I won't make it. It may just be the twisted way I interpret it due to my frustration with myself (like I'm putting the blame on others for my failure) I didn't mean to emotional dump here, but if you read 'til the end, thanks 😅 I hope to take tiny steps forward. I'm sure to revisit this video again when I'm feeling down again. Thank you for posting this video 💕

[@xolovesrine]

I really love how you can articulate your feelings and emotions out, I also love how you think of things.

[@BenIsFiguringitOut]

This video confirms what I’ve been struggling with lately. There are some decisions that I need to make that I know some may question, but I gotta do what I think is best for me. I only live once, and I have to do what’s best for me. Thanks for this video!

[@jenniferdon5442]

I'm so grateful to have come across your videos, I've been struggling with some similar deeply rooted issues, I'm finally giving myself permission to thrive at 25 in spite of my anxious perfectionism. it's refreshing to be able to relate to someone that has put it into words.

[@onlyhewwman]

I LOVE YOU. I write that in caps because I can't describe how big of a push these videos are in my mundane life. I really needed that, thanks for making these videos and for saying all of these things, they're sooo relatable. Big hugs and love.

[@0_nizz]

I really found you at the right time. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety these last few weeks and also evaluating everything that's been going on in my life, including the people around me. there are so many things i want to do but somehow it seems i'm always waiting for other people's approval to tell me if it's right or not, if i look stupid or if i deserve to be where i am. and I know it's a huge responsibility to put my happiness in someone else's hands, but I couldn't help it. since I started watching your videos I've been motivated to do more things alone and enjoy my own company, something I had lost a long time ago. I'm making significant changes in my routine (like visiting places by myself, starting a new course in another city, exercising every day, and even wearing what makes me feel beautiful) and even though it's baby steps, I feel so much happier because it's what I want to do. I always saw achievements as things that should be huge and I underestimated the little things in life that are also part of this process.I know this is only a start, but for now it's enough for me and that's ok.

[@shannel6672]

I'm glad someone finally spoke about dealing with consequences, cause as you grow up, you will not be capable to bear failure or consequences that came because of your own decisions. All because your parents instilled this fear of consequences in you and this it makes you over think and stress on it even if it's a small problem.

[@jennystarr1993]

I’m so happy you are doing this now!! I’m 57 and in transition and finally figuring out myself! Thank you for this encouragement! 💜

[@danoleary639]

Same... until I read your comment, I thought I was the oldest person coming to terms with this question . Trying to figure out how to lead the next + 30 years of my life.

[@TheNanaDiaries]

6:28 I have a natural talent for music (i play the violin), but the problem of having talent is that u don´t need to work hard, and that makes u passionless. Some professors can´t follow my rhythm so they ended giving up. And that makes me feel tired of music, which i really love. I think that people without the talent in a certain thing appreciate more their achievements, and they don´t see how lucky they´re.

[@undercovernerd6848]

Something clicked for me when you said “what about consequences? So what if there are consequences?” . I can always learn and move on 💗

[@soggy1569]

you are so real. literally started crying mid-video :,)

[@Lena_raly]

Wow I really needed to hear this. I am trying to live my life, even as I’m a broke college student that can rarely go out. I try when I can. I’m about to enter my corporate job and I’ve decided that it doesn’t define me. I’m not my job. I can still be the things I’ve always envisioned myself becoming while having a job that funds them. This gives me hope. Thank you always for your wisdom. Ur soul is comforting💕

[@verysleepybear1774]

It got me when she said, "Nobody cared what she (younger self) wanted." Right now I am 19 years old uni student struggling to find out what I want to do with my life. But I once had a dream I gave up due to being scared of my parents. So when she said that I felt like I was self neglecting.

[@daniaza3625]

i love this series so much because it’s literally the exact thoughts i have thought and struggles ive been through. tbh i just needed someone to tell me it lmao. ive sent all your videos to my best friend:) we both love these

[@r0s1e._.xe1]

via you made me speechless ... i cried a lot in this video , you make me feel like i want to improve myself .. i wanna be myself and i wanna live for myself , thats true ... life is about tiny things ... and we have to be thankful for it .. and to just do what we like without being afraid to be judged . thank you so much for everything via , you are like my comfort older sister . love you

[@dragoneer121]

This is why I did not go to my University graduation. I didn't want to, my mother wanted it. I was only able to get away with it because of the pandemic. Living for myself is somehting I have struggled with for a long time and I am still trying. I have to take some big risks soon and its terrifying but I need to do it.

[@hendsem]

[@aftwhat]

i resonate so highly with this video. i’m currently in that situation of being a scholar, always achieving the next thing to get that external validation, and taking on so many roles for the sake of being praised. i have just recently come to a realization that you know what… i’m tired. i’m tired of taking on all these roles, doing all these extracurriculars, not living life because i’m so scared of not being the smart scholar everyone knows me as. this year all my roles will come to term, and i am going to reevaluate whether or not i want to continue doing these things. if they’re fulfilling or not, if i’m happy, etc. i think every young person needs to watch this video because we may all have these thoughts of “i need to be achieving constantly” because we don’t know a life where we aren’t. but life is so good when we are just going through the motions, unbothered by deadlines and expectations. sorry this was so long but this video is great and i’m definitely saving it to my playlists so i can watch it when i’m overwhelmed by my commitments LOL

[@leticiafonseca5550]

Hi via, I saw your video and I thought it was very good for me. I'm 16 years old and it's only after watching this video that I realized that my life is being controlled by other people and their opinions. I haven't been myself for several years and my 10th grade is being horrible I live with toxic friends . This video showed me that I have to start being me. Thanks for sharing this whit us

[@span]

" the reason ""you'll be fine"" is because you are capable" !!!!! this!!! omg this!! best affirmation.

[@motivatedjudith4996]

Girl everything you said in this video is so damn relatable that I pause every minute to walk around my room telling myself how right about everything you are 😭 We have so much in common it's genuinely scary. I am also studying business and I wish I was in the arts.

[@mayaxss9927]

I moved countrys last year, and I started noticing my repeatance of accepting what others want of me. if that makes any sense. i dont really have anyone with me, but myself. kinda terryfing but yet calming. thank you so much for this video, this helped me realize the aspect of being alive, versus living. yk? anyway, thank you so much via, i discovered you a few days ago, and i will connfidently say, that your my new fav creator on this platform, because i need this little realism in my brain. ilyssssmm

[@Thecheeseisreal04]

There couldn't have been better timing for this video- exams are in about 2 weeks and I've yet to decide what college I want because my whole life I've been just blindly doing what others want/expect of me, without ever thinking what I want. Always relying on academics for a hint of validation. I never realized how this affected it me until I was completely burnt out and the anxiety that came with it was even worse. But recently I've been more mindful of myself and the things that I want and need- yes I'm still struggling from time to time, but I'm happy with my progress. This video brought me so much comfort and confidence to try and breach the little bubble I'm in and to go after what I want. Acknowledging the hardships and struggles that may come along is somehow reassuring because this is /my/ decision and at the end of the day I'm in control of it (mostly heh) Thank you so much for this- and every other video

[@raymondc9513]

I would argue that if you discover your sense of self-worth and self-acceptance, you CAN have the ability live for someone else if that is what you desire. BUT only to a certain degree where you actually know your boundaries and where to stop if someone is trying to use you intentionally or unintentionally. That knowing where you draw the line for yourself in the sand, you can know exactly where to stop and voice your concerns to someone else if you get too close to crossing your own line without actually crossing and ignoring your boundary. In the context of making sacrifices and compromises, that where you ask yourself, how much can you actually move your boundary to a COMFORTABLE point for both people. Depending on the severity of someone's actions or behaviors, I think exceptions, compromises, and some sacrifice can be good, *in moderation*. I am not advocating to let yourself become a doormat, I believe you can absolutely reach a middle ground between wanting to live for someone else and only ever putting yourself first. I firmly believe there are drawbacks to both sides, where only looking out for yourself can be harmful, and always giving yourself away can be just as bad. Wanting to live for someone else, is just something I find purpose in (I get it's not something for everyone and I'm sure people would hard disagree, but that's why I say it's something for me), because of what it gives back to me. And when I do get hurt from wanting to live for someone else, 12:05 this is why I keep going. Just my two-cents, but I do feel what Via touches on throughout the video.

[@hueyos]

via is the motivational speaker i never knew i needed :") Started journaling to process my thoughts better and im gonna start trying new things cuz i am CAPABLE !!

[@via.ilyouu]

YOU ARE CAPABLE!!! I AM SO PROUD OF U BESTIE

[@haniyoo_n]

i love u. your words gives me so much comfort. i cant thank you enough but thank you so much :( i really really hate my life rn. i just want to give life up because i feel like a failure and a disappointment because i can never be the daughter that my parents desires. all throughout my life that’s all i ever tried to be but all i keep on giving them is disappointment after disappointment that whenever i try to think of what my dreams are, what i want to be, and who i am i can’t give an honest answer to myself. it’s been hard, but i hope someday i find the strength and courage to finally live for myself.

[@oIdricecooker]

hello via! i’m 15, turning 16 this year :) i’ve been struggling a lot with decision making especially with going to junior college next year and having to choose subjects that will probably benefit my career path next time but my biggest problem is not having a career choice. literally none at all. i’m so lost and i honestly feel really really overwhelmed especially with everything the school has been pushing on us-career talks, day internships etc and while i am incredibly grateful for the opportunities i cannot help but feel a little overwhelmed, lost and anxious. and now that i have to consider junior college and university in the future, i have to think about how i’m going to fund my studies and all that stuff because as an asian kid my parents have already told me that i’m going to have to pay my school fees myself starting from university (which i totally get and i’m not complaining at all) but sometimes i just think about the more privileged people whose parents can afford to sponsor their education journey throughout, and even if all else fails, that money can still help boost the child somewhere into society. but for me, if everything falls apart, my money goes to waste, and i think i’m going to have a lot of trouble trying to get everything back together again, especially in the type of society we are in. i still don’t have answers and solutions to a lot of these problems, but i just wanted to share that what you said in this video has resonated with me deeply. i’m super thankful i stumbled across this video :) thank you via ❤️ and i’m wishing you all the best in your future endeavours. you’re truly one strong and capable person!

[@harshitayadav9813]

I've never related with someone this much in my entire life, but these whole journal entries videos speaks to me on an astronomical level, and u speaking it out loud along with the comment section makes me feel less lonelier than before, this gives me hope and courage to be myself more openly, to take my chances and stop pitying myself for the way my life has been instead i should accept it and truly start living for myself, btw i'm also 22 and just graduated from clg and all of this is SCARY but i'm gonna take my chances anyway. Thank you so so much for sharing and being vulnerable, it takes a lot of courage to do that, ILYSM, love from India

[@dreaminmint3766]

I relate to this so much, especially with being a first gen student trying to make everyone proud while also following my own dream. I wish you could like youtube videos more than once!

[@aquadust]

this video could not have come at a better time and it made me so emotional. thank you for your kindness and the little extra push you're giving to all your viewers to pursue what they truly want, i'm 20 and realizing that i've lived my whole life knowing exactly what i wanted but have never had the courage, self-love, and discipline to fully chase after it. i just know i'm going to come back to this video again and again whenever i need a reminder. sending all the appreciation, love, and support in the world!!

[@jdhde]

I always thought that I live for myself and don't let others control my life or choices (I'm very head strong and know what I want) but this made me realise that a lot of the things I "want" are actually just things others want and I don't really care about. This was really eye-opening, and I'm so grateful that you uploaded this right now. I'm trying to better myself before I go to uni in a couple of months and this has also helped me feel better about some of my choices I made earlier this year. Thank you for the upload - you've gained a subscriber 🩷

[@BO_Knows143]

I don’t know how I came across this video. I guess I put it out into the universe that I needed to ask my inner child what he wanted and that my life needed to be about me and not others anymore. I felt your pain when you showed the picture of you as a little girl in your phone and started to cry, I just wanted to hug you and be your safe place,because nobody ever asked her what she wanted and that isn’t fair. But then I also see this powerful woman who is taking care of her now. So that touched my heart! I admire your courage and beauty,so thank you for making this video. I needed to hear it! You are so adorable,the way you do things like finding a little elephant or even just drinking water. It just shows me how the simple things are truly the most beautiful moments that I have been taking for granted. I wish you all the love and adventures and peace that you deserve.❤

[@priscilamenjivar6741]

This video was so helpful. Thank you. It’s been really hard for me because I have been trying lately to pursue the things I want instead of the things that others want for me but through dealing with depression, it has been really hard to find things that I truly enjoy and that I have passion for especially since I have been so burnt out from uni.

[@dianputrieadila3531]

I really want to quote something from this video but the ENTIRE video is me. Strict parents lead me to being this scaredy-cat who's afraid of trying new things because of their way of thinking ; "this is just waste of time, waste of money". I'm 26 and just changed my job. This new job got me realized when I don't get the recognitions, validations, compliments etc I don't like doing any work, which is really bad. Thank God now I know reason why I was so unmotivated for the past few months. I'm still working on it, while trying new hobbies and lifestyle. I'm done being the same person with the same habit for 20+ years, so I'm actually willing to do something different in my life, for the first time... even though it's a little bit late 😂 Thank you for this video, it really encouraged me more to do everything I want 💜

[@camz629]

omg, it's like you are reading my mind 😭 i was thinking today of starting doing things out of my comfort zone, but that i am curious about and you basically answered with this video! i'm loving this series, so glad that i found your channel. you're a total inspiration

[@jeaninelieu]

i'm only now coming to these realizations. i'm thrilled you’ve adopted this mindset so early even if you feel like you’ve wasted time. thank you so much for sharing

[@aphroditesdevotee]

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement 💗

[@Cindyu_u]

Giiirl bravo! Trust me when I say you figured this out early, I'm turning 27 and I'm just figuring this out now. I feel like I lost so so much time!