Why you should talk to strangers | Kio Stark

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TED

TED

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 605
@Apollosk123
@Apollosk123 8 жыл бұрын
Ever think about the best friends you've had? All the good times? They too were once strangers you took a chance and talked to. Good talk.
@tarico4436
@tarico4436 8 жыл бұрын
Yesssssssssssssss.
@JD2jr.
@JD2jr. 8 жыл бұрын
Not really. Usually they're Coworkers or classmates or mutual friends who have already become familiar well before speaking to them. You're probably just a lot more extroverted than us.
@arianylima6814
@arianylima6814 8 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@arianylima6814
@arianylima6814 8 жыл бұрын
But they were strangers, anyway.
@panhiavwm
@panhiavwm 8 жыл бұрын
Apollosk123
@eivilcow33
@eivilcow33 8 жыл бұрын
My favorite interaction with a stranger was in a hot spring that was supposed to be quiet and there was this really old guy at the edge of the pool and he had an oxygen tank sitting on the side of the pool. He was trying to use his hands like a squirt gun and was laughing every time it worked. I sat near him and he accidentally squirted me in the face, I looked at him and started laughing and squirted him back. We ended up talking for a half an hour and talked about all kinds of stuff. He made my whole year
@-shaquille-9156
@-shaquille-9156 8 жыл бұрын
cool
@Nestoras_Zogopoulos
@Nestoras_Zogopoulos 7 жыл бұрын
that time when this guy has 69 likes talking about squirting.... :P
@minyoongisgummysmile9846
@minyoongisgummysmile9846 7 жыл бұрын
that's so cute
@bribbri3697
@bribbri3697 7 жыл бұрын
that actually warmed my heart, thanks for sharing :-)
@GoogleAccount-po1gl
@GoogleAccount-po1gl 6 жыл бұрын
Nestoras Zogopoulos. ...squirting on his face.
@ParadigmFluxEmporium
@ParadigmFluxEmporium 8 жыл бұрын
I am an introvert in the true sense of the word. I'm introspective, I'm a reader, I love to write, and create. always trying to find the deeper meaning of things. I was taught as a child that I was shy and believed that. and grew to have social anxiety as an adult. but I broke out of my fear of people and talk to strangers nearly everyday. introvert doesn't mean shy.
@ashdraws9076
@ashdraws9076 8 жыл бұрын
So true! Not all introverts are shy and antisocial. Just means that we find more energy spending time alone than with others.
@pauldotdll3276
@pauldotdll3276 8 жыл бұрын
People have to read this..
@dragonswordmountain2908
@dragonswordmountain2908 6 жыл бұрын
+Paradigm Flux Emporium I think being an introvert is the same thing tag as being shy, a label we believe. We can learn how to recharge even with people around, ambivert skills and a way of life. Everything is a skill, we are not in jail introvert.
@user-mv7ob7sq7p
@user-mv7ob7sq7p 5 жыл бұрын
@Kalina zdr kp
@flannsixtyseven7489
@flannsixtyseven7489 5 жыл бұрын
@@dragonswordmountain2908 there are proves that it is genetic, you might try that but are fighting your nature and it will cost you a lot of energy, i try but i dont feel comfortable, not even with practicing a lot.
@zawkoto96
@zawkoto96 8 жыл бұрын
This talk reminds me of a wonderful quote by William Butler : "Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet."
@nzinga758
@nzinga758 8 жыл бұрын
This is the first time in my adult life that I am riding public transportation to work. And my day is brightened when a stranger gives me a compliment. I will be giving out more compliments myself.
@titusorelius9458
@titusorelius9458 8 жыл бұрын
Sorry but feminists tell us it is wrong to give women you don't know compliments. It's *"sexual harassment"*. Why do you hate women?
@notsquirrel8141
@notsquirrel8141 8 жыл бұрын
It brightens my day when someone talks to me on the bus :)
@chegadesuade
@chegadesuade 7 жыл бұрын
+Titus Orelius go away, that's totally inappropriate here.
@ibrahimswapon9968
@ibrahimswapon9968 7 жыл бұрын
Adaku Dew
@BabyAbood123
@BabyAbood123 4 жыл бұрын
Good for you
@dunnowy123
@dunnowy123 8 жыл бұрын
I completely agree. This irrational fear of strangers is the perfect recipe for social awkwardness and anxiety. Being comfortable around people, especially strangers, makes you a calmer, more perceptive, confident and overall better person. Love and stop being afraid of other people.
@EvaGreenFanPennyDreadful
@EvaGreenFanPennyDreadful 8 жыл бұрын
It really is. People will anxiety, are always worried about what others think of them. When in reality, everyone else is thinking about themselves lmao
@SWOgottaGO
@SWOgottaGO 8 жыл бұрын
Now I'm facing jail time because some feminist thought I was raping them when I made eye contact. Thanks a lot.
@dunnowy123
@dunnowy123 8 жыл бұрын
SWOgottaGO Dude, you gotta get out more. I approach women all the time, most of the time, they're flattered and if not, they're polite. Just don't be a creep who can't read social cues and you'll be fine.
@SWOgottaGO
@SWOgottaGO 8 жыл бұрын
Wow, I'm speechless! Are you actually acknowledging that women on the regular are shallow bitches that'll judge men character based on looks!
@SWOgottaGO
@SWOgottaGO 8 жыл бұрын
Technocracy Those are no your regular men tho
@jorgee2320
@jorgee2320 8 жыл бұрын
As an introvert and shy person, people might think that I'm not friendly or that I don't like people, but it's just that I'm not good at social interactions and I don't find them fundamentally necessary, but that doesn't mean that I lack empathy or that I'm an antisocial. I find it surprising how easy it comes to some people to talk to strangers and make friends, here where I live people tend to be very open and friendly, when I'm new to a class and I don't know anybody they are hesitant in the beginning but they quickly socialize and before I know it they're all already friends, and it's not that easy for me.
@SWOgottaGO
@SWOgottaGO 8 жыл бұрын
Having friends is necessary. You can have an easier time with something because of a friend. On the same note you can make life easier to someone and make a new friend that potentially can do the same for you later. It doesn't always have to be about functionality either.
@notsquirrel8141
@notsquirrel8141 8 жыл бұрын
I have felt exactly what you feel. It just takes practice and time and getting out of your comfort zone.
@cherokee1781
@cherokee1781 8 жыл бұрын
you should join activities that have very small groups filled with people who'd mostly be strangers. That's how I'm trying to change myself.
@Joel-js2gk
@Joel-js2gk 8 жыл бұрын
I understand you perfectly, but I'm slightly different in that I see how much fun others have with their friends and I want to experience that myself. So even though I'm genuinely an introvert and shy person, I really put forth a great deal of effort to put myself out there and to make friends. Oftentimes I find myself alone in a crowd of people with nothing to say, but it's all part of the learning process. The most important thing is to put yourself out there and to put forth a real effort. And don't beat yourself up too much if you say something awkward or dumb; we are all socially awkward to an extent.
@Jalapatron
@Jalapatron 7 жыл бұрын
Jorge E I'm the same way. People usually think of me as an angry person when I'm just very quiet
@stupidrainbo
@stupidrainbo 7 жыл бұрын
Man, this audience is not laughing at her subtle jokes. Way to make her totally uncomfortable! I always try to laugh at jokes during a speech, just because I would want others to do the same for me in their shoes.
@denimlether5812
@denimlether5812 4 жыл бұрын
They're not really jokes. Her standing on the street in NYC was a real way of life.
@luuky18
@luuky18 3 жыл бұрын
If a joke isn’t funny why would you laugh
@KaraokeNig
@KaraokeNig 3 жыл бұрын
Good points , good questions, i have one too. How much are you required to laugh at jokes socially..asking for a friend. :)
@neodark414
@neodark414 8 жыл бұрын
What's up strangers?
@tarico4436
@tarico4436 8 жыл бұрын
Hehe. Good one.
@SWOgottaGO
@SWOgottaGO 8 жыл бұрын
RAPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
@arianylima6814
@arianylima6814 8 жыл бұрын
What's up?
@curtherring7732
@curtherring7732 8 жыл бұрын
Don't stand in front of that tank, you might disappear.
@dawnqwerty
@dawnqwerty 8 жыл бұрын
Benjamin Wood how are you all this week?
@lmychocolate
@lmychocolate 7 жыл бұрын
A woman once asked me for directions on the street and we ended up taking the train together. She was very friendly and we talked a lot! It was my first time having an actual conversation with a stranger and at the beginning I was really unsure what to share and what not to share, what to ask, and what not to ask. But as we talked more, I didn't really have to worry too much about it, everything just came naturally. It was then when I realize how great it feels to connect with a stranger. It's really nice to be able to learn something about someone, hearing glimpses of their story. Sometimes it just feels good to talk to someone you don't know and probably won't see afterwards, to talk to someone outside your social circle.
@TheMrJaybones
@TheMrJaybones 8 жыл бұрын
Talking to strangers helps you develop people skills and it makes me feel happy
@jaredanders7820
@jaredanders7820 7 жыл бұрын
I talk to everyone & it's wonderful. my friends always try to stop me but I want more people to do it :)
@CristanMeijer
@CristanMeijer 8 жыл бұрын
I always feel that because it's not really the norm, when you actually end up having a nice conversation with a stranger, it is extremely satisfying. And when I don't know a subject to talk about, I usually stick to my golden rule: people usually love talking about themselves :). Therefore, I quickly follow up any conversation with a few questions about them and this usually works.
@davidmatengu5726
@davidmatengu5726 5 жыл бұрын
Cristan Meijer so what do you ask them about themselves??
@katscandance
@katscandance 2 жыл бұрын
I love asking questions
@lydias2232
@lydias2232 7 жыл бұрын
I tried this today. I tried to get noticed and it worked! An old man walking past me told me to cheer up. I wasn't actually sad, it was my thinking face. But it worked! He responded.
@christinec.2742
@christinec.2742 7 жыл бұрын
This talk opened my mind. I have been taught to be wary of strangers all my life... but statistically, being friendly does make more sense. Why are we... over 90% of the population act like everyone could have been a criminal waiting to harm us when only a really small group of people are that disruptive? We should remain cautious, but not to the point of making enemy out of everyone we have never even talked to. After breaking out of that bubble, the human world indeed can have a lot more friendliness than previously imagined, which unfortunately got missed out on. Thank you for this talk.
@NellieKAdaba
@NellieKAdaba 7 жыл бұрын
I have also been taught that, but I talk to a few strangers, and I made connections through that. Yes, because of the high crime rate in the US, in some states, that's why we don't trust strangers. Even in Europe and in the Caribbean I don't talk to strangers, unless it's a family's friend or a member of my relative's family.
@katydidwhat6120
@katydidwhat6120 5 жыл бұрын
Some areas do have a higher crime rate than others, so it makes sense to be wary. And all the horror stories portrayed in the media/news makes things worse.
@englerwhi
@englerwhi 8 жыл бұрын
I'm from the Midwest and we talk to everyone. It's weird to read the comments and see how people think this is abnormal or unsafe. Being kind is a way for a "normal" person to change the world.
@HussainAlHubail
@HussainAlHubail 8 жыл бұрын
That's true. But also you cannot blame them if they live in a neighbor where the thievery,murder, or any bad acts are high. That's why (in my believe), the first step is to accept those people/strangers in comment. NOT THE trollers of course!
@MrSivansuresh
@MrSivansuresh 7 жыл бұрын
Because you are an American. Americans are friendly and talkative in general. Europeans in general freak out when stranger look at them, smile at them or tried to small talk to them.
@veridiosmaximos6290
@veridiosmaximos6290 7 жыл бұрын
Hello, my name is Carlos, I started to study your language in a short time. I wonder if you could help me and be my friend. Whatsapp or any other social network where we can is tracing information. I'm from Brazil.
@juliantreidiii
@juliantreidiii 5 жыл бұрын
I am from the south and we talk to everyone. When I went to New York it terrified them. LOL
@Gretaici
@Gretaici 7 жыл бұрын
Talking to strangers are beautiful. Even though sometimes u have to hide a part of truth, it's good to have Someone to talk to, or listen to.
@toysintheattic2664
@toysintheattic2664 8 жыл бұрын
Where I come from it's not uncommon to talk to people we don't know.
@Wauly
@Wauly 8 жыл бұрын
The moon
@cherokee1781
@cherokee1781 8 жыл бұрын
Uranus
@RacoYes
@RacoYes 8 жыл бұрын
Belgrade, Serbia is one of such places.
@Nestoras_Zogopoulos
@Nestoras_Zogopoulos 7 жыл бұрын
mainly from what ive seen all the countries in the mediterranian sea u know like spain italy greece etc ive actually concluded although not being a rule that generally older nations have quite friendly people idk it may be like that cz in older times in places like small villages and encampements everyone knew each other eg countries like egypt greece italy spain india china also people that were at some point nomads and poor people seem to be more friendly africans and middle eastearns too but cz of the unstable enviroments war and stuff its harder to open up
@keltait
@keltait 7 жыл бұрын
RacoYes I've met and had awesome conversations with so many Serbian people public transport when I'm moving around Europe for work.
@katscandance
@katscandance 2 жыл бұрын
I used to be so shy and anxious and hated talking to strangers. I especially felt awkward trying to talk to customers. I thought I was just naturally bad at conversation. Now that it’s part of my job responsibility to get to know my customers and have good service, I LOVE talking to strangers. I love hearing their stories, learning about how other peoples lives are, and also talking about myself to them. It makes me feel happier and fulfilled at the end of a work day. Now my coworkers are amazed when I have a 10 minute conversation with a customer and always say “I’m so good at talking to customers” and I always tell them that I wasn’t always good, but practice makes you get better. It’s overall helped me with my anxiety as well as made me more confident!
@polaris911
@polaris911 8 жыл бұрын
It is so true what she said about passing somebody. You look at each other from a distance, then look away as you pass.
@nguyenthihien8956
@nguyenthihien8956 7 жыл бұрын
I say hello while walking pass by each other.
@helloworldliberationforall
@helloworldliberationforall 7 ай бұрын
few days ago ive started to talk with strangers, it is changing my whole life, every interaction is a new world, i love it, its great whey you appreciate and get appreciated as a person, it dissolves so many prejudices and assumptions you have, its eye opening and beautiful, people are social creatures and its in our nature to cooperate and communicate
@MS-gv6jd
@MS-gv6jd 8 жыл бұрын
To me, starting a conversation is easy but to maintain the conversation is hard and can be awkward
@KylaAquinoIrving
@KylaAquinoIrving 7 жыл бұрын
As a Californian, I'm like, "Duh!" Were much friendlier out here. When I travel to New York, I notice people could live next door to one another for years, but never even acknowledge each other. I'm glad this New Yorker is spreading the message. 😁
@NellieKAdaba
@NellieKAdaba 7 жыл бұрын
That is how I feel in New York, I do not know most of my neighbours, it was not like that in Maryland, it was quite the opposite, I knew a few of my neighbours. Maybe because of the high crime rate, people don't trust each other that much in NY.
@124madcow
@124madcow 6 жыл бұрын
I knew this guy that would always talk to people. One new person a day is what he said. The crazy thing is he could go anywhere in the city and people would know him.
@rajeevSreenivasan
@rajeevSreenivasan 8 жыл бұрын
I always greet the strangers even though they didn't return on! Love this!
@TariqKhan-xt5qs
@TariqKhan-xt5qs 7 жыл бұрын
You know some of the best conversations i've had were from times when I was wasted and talking to random people who were also drunk, or when I was just taking a stroll downtown and ended up talking to some homeless person
@moatazanwar6564
@moatazanwar6564 7 жыл бұрын
Really, awesome, I was obsessed by the idea of talking to strangers, one day, a stranger was next to me in the bus, and I started to ask him about his college, and I found that he is one of my colleagues that I've never noticed, I introduced myself to him and he did so too, and for 3 years, we have been friends, and we worked together in a lot of projects, the graduation project was one of them, since then I loved the idea of hitting a conversation with strangers, that one of them may turn out to be a future friend.
@nandafprado
@nandafprado 8 жыл бұрын
I used to talk friendly to everyone I saw on my daily basis, until I started growing up and those same old men that where my "nice neighbors" started sexualizing me. How does a teenager doing the exact same thing as when she was a kid, just because I was growing some hips, became flirting?why doenst she explains that? ps: I literally just say hi or smile as I used to do as a child, to the same people, and the coments grew from "she is growing up to become a beutiful lady"(compliment) to "you are stealing a lot of hearts"(little creepy) to "oooh mama", "oohh la em casa (ohh if you were in my house)"(unapropriate) to "what I would do to see you naked","why so rude? come chat with me"... That is why I only talk to woman strangers and is usually to warn them of a creep trying to see under their blouse or steal from her purse (sometimes compliment her clothes /make-up/tatoo)
@RyuThe3rd
@RyuThe3rd 2 жыл бұрын
Kkkkk que merda
@ParthibanTR
@ParthibanTR 7 жыл бұрын
5:20 - People often feel more comfortable being honest and open about their inner selves with strangers than they do with their friends and families and that they often feel more understood by strangers. Thank You Kio Stark for pointing this out. I have often felt and experienced it. You know, why we want to feel comfortable and more comfortable? Because it's our nature that we always want to and we always want to throw away the pain from deep inside us, which we are not able to do with our friends and relatives. And I think everyone has some or other pain which they yearn to share. But I meet a lot of strangers who don't wanna interact while I am always in the "inviting" mode. Sometimes I have tried keeping the first step and it has worked out well. But surely, it requires a bit of mental preparation, a warm attitude with a bit of gut and enthusiasm.
@Soulenergy31
@Soulenergy31 Жыл бұрын
True!
@melisarose3922
@melisarose3922 8 жыл бұрын
I think it's kind of fun to have conversations with people in the bus or train on the way to school/work... Because there is indeed a chance that you will meet them again... And seeing a stranger one more time who also recognizes you is probably the coolest thing ever 😂
@Wren1
@Wren1 8 жыл бұрын
Depending on where you live (any big city in the US), talking to strangers on the street could end with you being jumped or shot.
@TheHappybunny671
@TheHappybunny671 6 жыл бұрын
Lol what are you saying to these people? You must live in a different United States
@YueSutcliff
@YueSutcliff 8 жыл бұрын
I think it's kinda difficult to an introvert like me, but I may be will try it sometime. Thanks TED
@anee7163
@anee7163 8 жыл бұрын
You have delivered your points excellently. Your enunciation , the way you have spoken, given pauses are all perfect. I have heard you first time. So far, You are my most favourite speaker. ☺
@Havvse
@Havvse 8 жыл бұрын
i asked a stranger what his name was once, he said he's Hugh Mongous
@codn00b94
@codn00b94 8 жыл бұрын
Lol
@NXDL25
@NXDL25 8 жыл бұрын
You've just sexually harassed the comment section
@samueltavares1218
@samueltavares1218 7 жыл бұрын
i met mt best friend 5 years ago and it all started in a classroom when i said:"can u borrow me ur rubber?" amazing
@danielf1051
@danielf1051 3 ай бұрын
For a long time, I’ve been taught to not talk to strangers unless they are my friends that I know. Even though I have listened to them over the years, they are times that so end up lonely when my friends start to get busy with college/work. So I believe when it comes to meeting someone new in school or in public parks, I should keep in mind that strangers are just normal people. Of course I should keep my boundaries and start small because it could help me feel more comfortable with talking to anyone.
@firepants20
@firepants20 8 жыл бұрын
Hi guys, im a stranger.
@eivilcow33
@eivilcow33 8 жыл бұрын
GOOD AFTERNOON SIR OR MADAM OR APACHE ATTACK HELICOPTER, DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST??
@firepants20
@firepants20 8 жыл бұрын
eivilcow Oh, is that that one black guy?
@eivilcow33
@eivilcow33 8 жыл бұрын
I have no idea. I just wanted you to notice me....
@vincentblack7166
@vincentblack7166 8 жыл бұрын
strange.
@ahtim1900
@ahtim1900 8 жыл бұрын
hey.. Life is complicated...I've killed people,smuggled people,sold people...perhaps here,things will be ... different
@DeoMachina
@DeoMachina 8 жыл бұрын
Weirdly enough the only time talking to a stranger has ever worked was when I visited Sweden, and the locals there were just so excited to use English on somebody. Swedes tell me how standoffish and unfriendly they can be, but being a foreigner turned it all around! So if you think the speaker is wrong (and I'm pretty sure she is for most of the anglosphere), try doing it on holiday!
@hana77jp
@hana77jp 7 жыл бұрын
I like this story. I know I have forgotten how to know strangers. Thank you.
@Diaamohy
@Diaamohy 7 жыл бұрын
I am actually from Egypt and wat she stated is true except the part of inviting a stranger to ur home, but ppl here r friendly!
@safaagougili1330
@safaagougili1330 7 жыл бұрын
it's something very normal in Morocco , on train i always make new friends , old people always carry their traditional homemade food and give it to anyone , that's why i can't leave my country i can't imagine people not having that small talk about football or the last episode of a serie even if they don't know each others ,smiling and playing with children ...
@Ryan--Official
@Ryan--Official 8 жыл бұрын
so does this mean there is candy in the van?
@-shaquille-9156
@-shaquille-9156 8 жыл бұрын
yes always is
@abhinavkrishnan9109
@abhinavkrishnan9109 8 жыл бұрын
Some people don't have candy. But I assure you, my van does :P
@_Cerb_
@_Cerb_ 5 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@consp1rcy531
@consp1rcy531 5 жыл бұрын
There may be a "Candy" edition of Vans
@aquastudio2001
@aquastudio2001 4 жыл бұрын
Ryan Sweeney not always, they can see you as "candy" though.
@alejandroramirezmartinez3676
@alejandroramirezmartinez3676 Жыл бұрын
i do all the time as salesman while prospecting, i sell spaces for out of home advertising, try to approach business owners, CEOs and managers and genuinely say to them "we are to serve you" and "i´m sure the advertising will help your sales to grow, because you have a very good or important product or service", it has help me a lot to get sales, and more important lot of friends, as i´m a newcomer to the city i live now... great speech for meditation!
@Chadong
@Chadong 4 жыл бұрын
When you said it's rude to ignore a stranger in Egypt i remember Ammar from Yes Theory. He's very jolly and outgoing person and it's very natural for him to talk to a stranger without any hesitation.
@96SniperSnake
@96SniperSnake 8 жыл бұрын
"else, you're missing all of that." works for me.
@stevesong8388
@stevesong8388 2 жыл бұрын
The part when she talk about the old man is so attractive. She’s a very good talker.
@geminiwoe
@geminiwoe 7 жыл бұрын
I have always spoken to strangers and mind you , I am from New York city where this is a big no no. I've always been ridiculed or spoken to about how it can come off as inappropriate. I never understood why it was so. This is good incite.
@mrmagic2943
@mrmagic2943 10 ай бұрын
I know its like 7 years to late but just this weekend I visited a Concert in Austria (I live in middle eastern Germany) and I went there all alone just by myself. With all the Regio trains you can take with our Germanyticket and I've met alot interesting people on this journey. I was waiting 3 hours with some refugee guys in some Bavarian shithole, I sat next to a 72 year old Homeless guy telling me his lifestory in the beautiful richpeoples City of Passau, I got to know some greek guys and the austrian people that listen to the same Music as me and I had a really cool way back home with some ppl from the concert that had happen to have the same destonation as I did and it was AWESOME!! when I rethink it it is especially so cool because of all the random strangers I've got to know that little bit. It was so wonderful to win against the inner pig dog (laughs in german) and to have that experience and joy that it brings you to overcome your Compfortzone
@EmanMohamed-he8uc
@EmanMohamed-he8uc 7 жыл бұрын
My mam told me that I shouldn't talk to strangers cause they might hurt me. Then I get hurt by people who close to me
@theuserintheroom4450
@theuserintheroom4450 5 жыл бұрын
Irony.
@lilnotoriginal7850
@lilnotoriginal7850 6 жыл бұрын
i once had a ounce of weed and no friends that wanted to buy so i had to met strangers to sell it and i got it sold and got more and sold that and more and sold and now i have more then 40 people buying from me and a dude working for me. dream big and u can also make it never let the police or anyone bring you down. i make good money i have a rolex and live good
@sta_rlight5564
@sta_rlight5564 5 жыл бұрын
I met this random retired elderly teacher who I didn’t know and was at my school for something. She asked me how my exam was because she was just sitting there when I came out at the end. So, I said it was good and felt like talking with her even more. She looked like she was 60 at least but she told me her age was 70. I was surprised and told her she looked younger than her age. From then on, we talked about genetics which also led talking about race, ethnicity and culture. I was surprised as to how our conversations felt so real and flowed so easily. I don’t know why I connect with elders more easily than teens my age. Usually, when I talk to my friends, they are always so disrespectful because they are using their phones in front my face when I’m talking to them in person! Also, I’ve noticed that whenever I try having a real conversation with my friends, they don’t use their facial expressions and are always replying to me as robots. Does anyone feel the same??????????
@katlo
@katlo 7 жыл бұрын
Where I'm from it's actually quite common to say hi to a stranger, especially if they are an elder.
@primet2830
@primet2830 7 жыл бұрын
I can absolutely relate. it's effortless and you never know where the connection can go we only have our stories and connections in life
@toddharry7238
@toddharry7238 8 жыл бұрын
I wish for more people to see this video. I've noticed (and perhaps this is through the eyes of a man) even a passing smile is met with an awkward stare, as if the other person is saying to themselves "what is this person looking at?" or "oh god I don't want to interact with this person." It becomes hard to continue trying this with others when you get that kind of reaction.
@ImanAliHussein
@ImanAliHussein 8 жыл бұрын
Especially in the big cities. Easier in the smaller cities.
@tarico4436
@tarico4436 8 жыл бұрын
She really hit the nail on the head with her final few sentences. In fact she got something so correct, there at the end, that the snarky stuff I had planned to unleash on her in this comment will now not be mentioned. Instead I'll pay her a humongous compliment. Usually the way it goes is like this: economy gets worse and worse. The women of the tribe encourage their men to get out there and be more successful in the hunt. This "encouragement" starts out slow, but if the economy doesn't pick up with nudges and winks, well, then the legs slam together closed. What happens then? War. Soon enough either the successful warriors bring home huge amounts of bacon, or they die on the battlefield, and other successful warriors take their place (around the campfire with their new wives). Things go back to peaceful status quo. But she is saying that we say to "Hi!" to all those around us, no matter how little or how much money they have. The economy goes down, so what? she is saying. We can all just tighten our belts a little bit; there's no need to go to war just because more and more men around her seem to have fewer and fewer dollars. Smile at these strangers and say "Hi!"
@theseigemeister
@theseigemeister 8 жыл бұрын
Great talk, thank you for sharing. Such an important message.
@grubbsgrady96
@grubbsgrady96 7 жыл бұрын
she has a beautiful voice
@Imanelhag
@Imanelhag 7 жыл бұрын
i literally feel like i want to go out and talk to everyone i meat on the street! thank you! that was awesome!
@rimi2805
@rimi2805 4 жыл бұрын
واضح انك تفهمين بليز قولي وش الفكره الرئيسيه للموضوع ؟
@xRockycherrYx
@xRockycherrYx 8 жыл бұрын
This talk is bristling with intelligence! Best one I've heard lately.
@BD638
@BD638 6 жыл бұрын
Starting today, I’m doing a “Talk to strangers” challenge where I will talk to 10 strangers everyday for 60 days. I wanna see what I can learn from this. Will update
@Hanessy
@Hanessy 5 жыл бұрын
Stars & Smokes please update
@noahkelly3660
@noahkelly3660 4 жыл бұрын
So...?
@BurtonBrewster
@BurtonBrewster 4 жыл бұрын
Please update.
@amyc9155
@amyc9155 4 жыл бұрын
Star Smoke This is extremely unsettling to me right now that you never returned!!
@mjq6438
@mjq6438 4 жыл бұрын
Bruh
@bobaldo2339
@bobaldo2339 8 жыл бұрын
I have noticed a very great difference between regions of the USA in this regard. Although there is truth in the notion that people are friendlier in smaller towns, there is also a more general east/west difference regardless of the size of the respective communities. As we move from west to east, people become increasingly more likely to talk to strangers - more friendly, less paranoid. I'm sure there is a north/south difference as well, but I don't have as much direct knowledge of that, so I won't comment on it.
@rmm8083
@rmm8083 3 ай бұрын
Good point about 'are strangers dangerous': Indeed, why not smile and respond to someone obviously having a hard life because begging at the traffic light? I always smile and look into their eyes if I have no money to spare, and they smile back, intuitively, (because we see them) responding kindly too. We are all human beings, let's treat everyone as an individual, not as an annoying xth beggar.
@BlaqqCherry077
@BlaqqCherry077 8 жыл бұрын
Thank You Kio, Cities can be anonymous, unfriendly places. .I completely believe in your philosophy to reach out to others, we're all just people.. I have social phobia and trying to appear casual and relaxed ,yet friendly is highly difficult!
@stinkylooloo3704
@stinkylooloo3704 8 жыл бұрын
I'm typing this in a serial killer's basement, in chains. I can taste blood. Thanks TED!
@towhatdegree
@towhatdegree 8 жыл бұрын
It's nice that the serial killer still gave you the opportunity to make a comment though.
@stinkylooloo3704
@stinkylooloo3704 8 жыл бұрын
Ikr. Best serial killer I've ever been with. Such a softy
@Illlium
@Illlium 8 жыл бұрын
If this is not your first serial killer excursion then you're obviously doing something right.
@serhataydin2650
@serhataydin2650 5 жыл бұрын
For gods sake somebody should call 9-1-1
@SeanTheDon17
@SeanTheDon17 5 жыл бұрын
Lmaoooo KZbin comments are pure comedy 😂
@MaiSent
@MaiSent 8 жыл бұрын
I shouldn't talk with stranger because the internet has told me that if that stranger is a woman she doesn't want to talk to me and if it's a man I'm just assuming his gender and he probably is going to assault me :(
@arshsekhon1821
@arshsekhon1821 8 жыл бұрын
did you just assume her gender?
@atlasmassamuel1016
@atlasmassamuel1016 8 жыл бұрын
+Arsh Sekhon Did you just assume xirs gender?
@oriannafembot9963
@oriannafembot9963 8 жыл бұрын
Stop it doesn't matter she's just talking about strangers
@MaiSent
@MaiSent 8 жыл бұрын
Sailor V strangers are people too !
@DjJooze
@DjJooze 8 жыл бұрын
Get of dthe internet then idiot
@Imjoseguzman
@Imjoseguzman 6 жыл бұрын
Best ted talk ive watched 100% truth she speaks
@tacticalnewfie2922
@tacticalnewfie2922 8 жыл бұрын
Some of the nicest people I've met were strangers, no stranger then usual.
@tacticalnewfie2922
@tacticalnewfie2922 8 жыл бұрын
This is the first TED video I actually liked in about a friggin' year.
@kinsmed
@kinsmed 8 жыл бұрын
I love when videos like this rile up the seven-year-old internet boys. I guess those would be 'beautiful interruptions'.
@ELLIS1737
@ELLIS1737 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I love to talk to strangers while I'm on vacation. I love to hear about other people's lives. On the other hand, I do not like talking about myself, yet. You have verbalized my similar thoughts about strangers. So your video will do the talking for me from now on when I want to tell someone the benefits of talking to strangers. To me, this is an important video that all children over 18 should watch.
@Don19762
@Don19762 8 жыл бұрын
I'm from Finland and here people get uncomfortable when strangers talk to us (at least outside of Helsinki city). Also we don't want to bother other people. It's considered bad manners.
@Don19762
@Don19762 8 жыл бұрын
It's quite normal here. When strange people do start to talk to us we feel very uncomfortable and get suspicious. Also when there is need for communication it should strictly be business, but talking for the sake of talking is just annoying :D Alcohol is what makes us social. What country you live?
@Don19762
@Don19762 8 жыл бұрын
:)
@Ublueduck00
@Ublueduck00 Жыл бұрын
I suggest, that belief in humanity is based on such people. People who believe that strangers are not dangerous. People who open to conversations with strangers.
@meghmalaverma8467
@meghmalaverma8467 7 жыл бұрын
Agreed and frankly speaking i felt it too to talk to strangers is far more good.
@emmakleiner8470
@emmakleiner8470 7 жыл бұрын
i am from Algeria (north africa) here it is so easy to speak to strangers , i mean that problem here does not existe at all , and for people that don't speak to us are 1% and we see them as unsociable or unormal people , i think that the fact that people don't speak to each other , is due to using technology , maybe because we are an undeveloped country we use ourselves to guide each other more than depending on google xD the thing is , take things easy i mean people don't bite :p
@chouchouhan4102
@chouchouhan4102 7 жыл бұрын
mira mirrage If someone read your comment he will thinks that in Algeria there are no telephones no internet .. Nothing at all !
@shoopoopie1
@shoopoopie1 8 жыл бұрын
wow this video really reached to me because I have very poor social skill and I'm very anti social next time i see a stranger I'll try my best to start a conversation
@JimGriffOne
@JimGriffOne 8 жыл бұрын
I'm drunk.
@JimGriffOne
@JimGriffOne 8 жыл бұрын
KVMI NØ KVZE I once suffered from it until I discovered C2H5OH.
@Dakaychess
@Dakaychess 7 жыл бұрын
Beautiful message. I agree.
@ka0r1mxecx04
@ka0r1mxecx04 4 ай бұрын
im an egyption and wt she said abut egypts hospitality is absolutely true
@bitchette
@bitchette 7 жыл бұрын
Wonderful !!! and an amazing guide to travel, a "how-to" on making connections with the people in a country you're travelling. Thank you very much ! (and sorry for bad english... cheers from France !)
@luthfi4164
@luthfi4164 2 жыл бұрын
I wanna talk to strangers but don't know what topic to talk to haha, i amaze with people that could give a "hi" to stranger then have a "flow" conversation.
@matheuscardoso1
@matheuscardoso1 8 жыл бұрын
She's a great speecher, I didnt understand that silence from the audience.
@philracks
@philracks Жыл бұрын
1. Sätze wie "Wie gehts es dir was machst du" Sind Sätze die keinen semantischen Gehalt (Sinn). Aber einen sozialen. (Sinn=Ich habe dich da gesehen). Ich spreche dich an weil es sich so angefühlt hat, als wären wir zusammen hier. Klingt weird. Wir haben etwas gemeinsam. Wir finden dich beide scharf. Steh da nicht einfach so rum, du verschwindest vielleicht. 2. Große Gewinnmöglichkeiten unsere Sinne zu benutzen und nicht unsere Ängste: 2.1. Es befreit uns. Wahrnehmung anstatt in Kategorien zu denken klingt leichter als es ist. Du tendierst dazu weniger voreingenommen zu sein und bessere Entscheidungen zu treffen. 2.2. Flüchtige Intimität. kurze, vergängliche Momente emotionaler oder körperlicher Nähe zwischen z.B. fremden Personen. Es birgt Risiken und Belohnungen (..vergänglichen Natur. Wenn der Wunsch nach tieferer, dauerhafter Verbindung unerfüllt bleibt) , da sich Menschen anderen öffnen und sich gleichzeitig potenziellen emotionalen Schäden aussetzen. Aber es ist durch diese Momente, dass Menschen oft Momente echter Verbindung, Selbsterkenntnis und persönliches Wachstum finden. Bei Fremden sind wir durch diese Momente offener als gegenüber unserer Familie und unseren Freunden. 3. Civil Inattention (Balance Privacy und Civility) zB zwei Leute auf einer Straße. Sie blicken sich von einer Entfernung. Schauen aber dann weg wenn sie sich näher kommen um sich mehr Raum zu geben. Dänen neigen ab. Ägypter empfinden das ignorieren als unhöflich. 4. -> Wenn man manchmal die ungeschriebenen Regeln ein bisschen bricht -> Da entsteht die Aktion. 5. Regeln ein bisschen brechen durch: Augenkontakt-> Lächeln-> 6. Triangulation (Drei Dinge miteinander verknüpfen) -> Du, Sie und eine dritte Sache (Was beide sehen und kommentieren können). Hau einen Kommentar raus und schau ob sich daraus ein Gespräch ergibt. 7. Komplimente. Leute wollen einem immer von den Dingen die sie geil finden etwas erzählen. Also komplimentiere das. Du kannst dich immer mit dem Baby oder mit dem Hund von jemanden unterhalten aber nicht mit der Person selbst? Die Person steht unter dem Einfluss des "Leiters" Baby/ Hund. Objektpermanenz: Baby´s / Hunde checken nicht das etwas existiert, wenn sie es nicht mehr wahrnehmen können. Was das mit der Thematik zu tun hat? Anderes Thema... 8. Offenlegung. Fühlst du dich gut? Erzähle der Person etwas über dich. Etwas sehr persönliches. Leute teilen ihre eigene Erfahrung mit bestimmten Emotionen z.B. Verlust. Auf Offenlegung folgt Offenlegung. Fazit: Wenn du mit Fremden sprichst machst du wunderschöne Unterbrechungen in das tägliche Narrativ deines alltäglichen Lebens und deren Alltägliches Leben.
@lmlexi21
@lmlexi21 8 жыл бұрын
I always talk to strangers. Most of the time, I make their day better
@jimmy20097
@jimmy20097 8 жыл бұрын
some people just want to mind their own business and wish not to be bothered by strangers
@n7quantum472
@n7quantum472 2 жыл бұрын
I see your comment is quite old and I'm just wondering; do you still feel this way?
@Avinashmantu
@Avinashmantu 7 жыл бұрын
Why you should not engage a lot with strangers is cuz they all have different opinions about everything and when they tell you this is wrong you might end up changing your perceptions about something which is not correct , you might lose your focus.
@mississippisteeler95
@mississippisteeler95 7 жыл бұрын
I find this deeply interesting. I do think many people are unsure about strangers and prefer to avoid them but most of that comes from very deep beliefs that most of society is bad. No doubt there are bad people out there but I think its good to try things like this and talk to strangers. On some occasions you might be surprised how willing they are to have a conversation with you.
@pianystrom8137
@pianystrom8137 7 жыл бұрын
This is true. I had a conversation with a Jehovas witness the other day that was fantastic. I felt antagonistic at first, but we ended up having a very warm and positive talk. Our opinions and beliefs were very far apart, but it didn't matter. We listened to each other. Nobody got converted to any religion, and it felt good to blurt out some honesty.
@ahtim1900
@ahtim1900 8 жыл бұрын
hugh mungus
@ahtim1900
@ahtim1900 8 жыл бұрын
hugh mungus wot!? are you just sexual harassed me? how are you!? disgusting!
@ajanaya8055
@ajanaya8055 8 жыл бұрын
why are you typing to yourself
@Dexduzdiz
@Dexduzdiz 8 жыл бұрын
yeah, this guys absolutely lost it.
@DJBananaCrazy
@DJBananaCrazy 8 жыл бұрын
hugh mungus wot?!
@HigherPlanes
@HigherPlanes 8 жыл бұрын
Hi Hugh Mungus, I'm Hugh Jainus
@Greedo96
@Greedo96 7 жыл бұрын
every time I make eye contact with a stranger I always smile. If I standing next to someone in an isle or something I'll ask them how their doing. idk why but I just do.
@radorimo6767
@radorimo6767 7 жыл бұрын
Not everyone is dealing with their feelings as an open book that others can read it. On the other hand, the isolation can lead away from friends or new people and new experiences may lead to disabling your development Personality. Learn to open up so you can improve your health mental, social and able to live life multiply, richer and deeper.
@shantelpereira3207
@shantelpereira3207 8 жыл бұрын
Now, this may be true in some cases but in some cases, it could mean possible danger, after all, the moment you walk up to a person you have no idea what they could do, but I do agree at some level.
@umsafiyah3229
@umsafiyah3229 7 жыл бұрын
where I come from, talking to strangers is just normal. Thus, people talk to people about their kids, education, life... about everything. We don't consider people we don't know as " strangers" but as familiar ...
@annan9216
@annan9216 5 жыл бұрын
You can learn a lot from the people you meet.
@whatlauralikes.
@whatlauralikes. 8 жыл бұрын
I'm not a Dane but I can relate to what you said about them. It's my daily life. It actually hurts, it's so difficult to live when you're like that.
@MrSivansuresh
@MrSivansuresh 7 жыл бұрын
I am an Indian. I am low in confidence. My low self confidence started hurting my career growth. I read self help books and watched lot of KZbin videos on social interaction. As an low confidence person with social awkwardness, talking to an European is very bad idea. After interacting with Europeans, I have to see myself in mirror to check if i am that scary-looking person :)
@YadiAnyankah
@YadiAnyankah 7 жыл бұрын
i just love the way she talks.
@LordDragox412
@LordDragox412 8 жыл бұрын
No. No you shouldn't. Stay away! >:( Sincerely, an introvert.
@crimsoncorsair9250
@crimsoncorsair9250 8 жыл бұрын
👍 I agree
@QuixoticDucky
@QuixoticDucky 7 жыл бұрын
Tell us more. Can you substantiate your claim with statistically significant data, or is it circumstantial?
@LordDragox412
@LordDragox412 7 жыл бұрын
Please, Codepants, at least try to construct your question in a proper manner if you expect to get an answer from an introvert, otherwise you leave them scared and confused and unable to respond in a manner you expect them. Also, "Tell us more."? Dear sir, I am an introvert. Either you do the talking, or listen to the peaceful and quiet ambient sounds that surround me and leave me be, as I am existing in a plane far beyond the material one, that lies in my head, between my mind and my thoughts. Do not burst into my introvert bubble and respect my personal space.
@rorrt
@rorrt 8 жыл бұрын
The feeling, or perhaps the phenomenon of being able to tell strangers your secrets is called Rime of the Ancient Mariner, or something like that. I've told stranger that i've self harmed, that I turned into a semi-alcoholic, and that was the real reason why i've stopped drinking now. Suppose its what i'm doing now.. Its strange, but also very important. Although the last part, about engaging in conversation has nothing much to do with the overall video. In my experience, and i'm pretty good at this because i keep up with loads of fashion and lifestyle magazines, and i worked in a photo studio. Everyone loves a hair, shoes or handbag complement. I've never met a girl who hasn't appreciated that.
@arturpirozkov9626
@arturpirozkov9626 8 жыл бұрын
It is one of the most clear and useful speech
@stinknus
@stinknus 8 жыл бұрын
Yeah that guy driving around with free candy painted on the side seemed nice
@jojojorisjhjosef
@jojojorisjhjosef 8 жыл бұрын
Talking to strangers in Sweden is rude. My point, your philosophy is just that. Yours.
@georgecataloni4720
@georgecataloni4720 8 жыл бұрын
She mentioned that with Danes.
@Wauly
@Wauly 8 жыл бұрын
How do you make friends?
@jojojorisjhjosef
@jojojorisjhjosef 8 жыл бұрын
***** no
@ProAssassin63
@ProAssassin63 8 жыл бұрын
Wow, must be sad living in Sweden. Don't you guys feel isolated or lonely?
@retcon1991
@retcon1991 8 жыл бұрын
I can't imagine anything worse than constantly greeting / being greeted by other people on the street. It's like a road, a transportation route - people have places to get to. If an asinine comment like the example given validates you in any way, I'd suggest your other social links are under-nourishing.
@tarico4436
@tarico4436 8 жыл бұрын
Social links where you think you're chatting with a hot babe, but instead you're chatting with an eleven year old boy with pimples. And what if you're just sitting there on your bus/train? It's not like a convo with a stranger is going to make you late for work. Get a grip, ben.
@tarico4436
@tarico4436 8 жыл бұрын
There are limits either way, ben. Never talk to strangers? You'll never have friends. Talk to every stranger every time? You'll often be late for work!! bassben04
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