Why your birth order is a blessing and a curse | Pavel Mischenko | TEDxBocaRaton

You’ve been secretly programmed for great success. You’ve also been programmed for stress and conflict. How? It happened during your childhood-and you had no choice or control over it. Trained therapist and business consultant Pavel Mischenko will explain how to unlock the mysteries of your BIRTH ORDER HABITS
Is an international business consultant, author, speaker, and a leading expert in helping organizations understand how to manage personalities in the work place. After obtaining a Masters degree in Geophysics from Moscow State University in Russia, and a Masters degree in Family Systems Therapy from Syracuse University in New York, Pavel combined his education as a psychotherapist with his interest in helping organizations function better and has spent the past 25 years working all over the world developing management and team training programs. Since 1999 he has been facilitating programs on Leadership, People Management, Sales, and Business Communication for the world’s largest management development provider - the American Management Association and Management Centre Europe. Pavel is an energetic and motivating speaker, who is focused on making a long-lasting impact on individuals and organizations.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@faraway3927]

I came here for comfort as a middle child, and got the minimum attention.... As always

[@thekingsheiress5924]

Going through all the comments about being an eldest child comforts me a great lot and makes me feel I am not alone in my struggles ❤ Thank you. Sending virtual hugs to all the eldest child ❤😊

[@jenniferkay9799]

I am the last child of 7. My age is 44 years old. I have to be the “responsible “ one who takes care of both of my aging parents. My other siblings have refused. They won’t even take them to a simple Dr appointment. I am always scared that I may make a wrong decision, however, I must trust myself that I am doing the best job that I possibly can and it’s definitely not easy!!

[@reneljugarap5103]

We're 6 siblings in the family. I'm the eldest, got my degree with minimal support from parents and had a job. Now that I'm earning, I feel like all the responsibilities have been put into me. My parents are expecting me to send my siblings to college and these expectations pressured me a lot. I'm in these stage of building up my career and still pursuing my master's degree. Yet based on personal experience, I can say that it is not easy to become the firstborn in the family specially when you came from chaotic and financially unstable household. My family and relatives around have set unrealistic expectations and expected me to carry out all the obligations towards my siblings which has drained me mentally, financially and emotionally. Sometimes, I would like to disappear and never come back 😢

[@kingofthemultiverseforever893]

I am the firstborn and I hate it. My family expects me to a be good role model even though I'm only 1 year older than my brother. They have so many UNREALISTIC expectations of me that they don't have for my brother. On top of that my family was and occasionally still is not only emotional but also physically abusive. So I try to live up to their expectations since I was 5 years old because I was scared of what would happen to me if I don't and now I can't break this habit anymore and I don't know what to do.

[@teawai8891]

I'm the eldest child by 3 mins... his points were accurate

[@nocturnalwolf7559]

This is just a sugar coat. Being a middle child really sucks. You get everything last including love if it's there that is. I'm in my mid 20s and still lives at home (our family is not rich have to stay home and help with rent) but only me who pays the rent, my older brother is an engineer, my younger brother is a software engineer and I'm just a kitchen hand. Life is not fair

[@katg-nw5tc]

Youngest of six - found that making my family laugh worked, and got me the much needed attention I needed. A bit neglected, as mom had six kids under the age of eight, she was overwhelmed. I became a very funny person, and did skits in front of thousands and the more they laughed the funnier I became, and my creativity became lightning fast. It changed the way my brain works as I still come up with hilarious comments. Makes these TED talks make so much sense.

[@Laura-vl6db]

As a youngest, I am always babied, viewed as useless, not fit for the world, constantly disregarded and compared. You have no value and no one turns to you for help because you don’t know any better. You don’t know what you’re good at because you’re never challenged and you’re rarely praised. No one expects anything of you so you don’t know what to expect in yourself. You have to watch the eldest succeed and no one is surprised you didn’t because “You never had a shot anyway.”

[@the100radsstalker93]

I'm the eldest and i hate it..God save you if any of your younger siblings turn out to be more intelligent or financially successful than you. You'll be stuck in a purgatory all your life. But then again everyone has different circumstances in life.

[@raquell7]

This is accurate for my family

[@lutzoxy]

That's really interesting and informative. Truely enjoyed watching it! Pavel, you're simple the B-E-S-T!

[@HeatherRose2023]

The youngest have to think outside the box because there isn’t anything left...not even the box.

[@freddygomezthinkstoomuch339]

Thank you for your research.

[@seanyboystocky]

That was fantastic Pavel

[@loekvader7890]

Enjoyed it as always Pavel, great :)

[@jeniferjohn9820]

For the middle they says they don't get attention... Younger says iam always kept.... But no one says about the struggle or the pain the eldest had in there life.

[@TheSouthIsHot]

My mother is the second born of five, and the first daughter of three daughters. I'm the last born of four, and the only daughter. I think you have explained why my mother and I have completely different methods of solving problems and engaging in creativity.

[@dab0331]

He didn't say anything about us middle children

[@HomeFrendsten]

As second, I am caring and responsible, but lack emotional support , some made me codependent due to their selfish motive