Why your partner doesn't appreciate you (and how to fix that)

[@IchoOoseU]

This made me cry. Because I was partner B and I walked away but the pain still remains.

[@tyronebrown2943]

How you feel now

[@nellab5314]

I’m envious you had the guts to walk away. I’m still stuck

[@CorporateQueen]

Hugs. Hope you are doing good now. XXX

[@silkyjohnson4519]

I'm partner b too 😔 we'll see if she comes around.

[@mimimimi377]

Helena A walk away. It will be the most painful thing you ever do. U r worth it

[@suip2150]

This is so on POINT in my relationship. I need to stop being lazy, afraid and comfortable. I deserve and worth more.

[@Literallyarealhuman]

Wow that’s on point

[@johnblue8029]

Run like I did lol

[@yooanto9465]

You deserve nothing if u are lazy.

[@Taryn101]

I am 1 month out of being with partner A. I know I will never find someone who values me as long as I keep A in my life. No contact - walking away. Thank you for the reminder!

[@naturelife2473]

Love you

[@joenebelski9422]

The only way to fix a problem is realizing you have one....Good job and I wish you the best!! 🙂

[@brelendwiggins7238]

Inspirational

[@babysab8013]

I found myself in one of those situations and I realised there is only one solution: stop giving. That is how you see people’s real colors. If you know your boundaries and speak up early in the relationship, you’ll be with a person who truly likes YOU

[@robertzsombok7661]

I´m such a partner B. Why can´t love just happen naturally without power struggles or taking the other for granted?...

[@nourelhoudabelagrouz7908]

yeah ☹️

[@plantloverfreya]

Was wondering exactly the same today. Why is it so hard to find a good, basic and decent good person who just wants a healthy and happy relationship?

[@user-qv3kn1bo5p]

Men love women without power or do services and thats why i dont have no pride and dignity as a man idont give a F about my self my daddy told me back when i was younga that women aint gonna love you for you and this is one of the main reasons i want to get big money so i can let a bich use me im prepared to get used by a woman cuz all of care about is getting my D sckd and be able to bust me some nuts off i dont really care about anything else and i really want to say in the comments and express about how i feel! Ive been drinking some tucila i dont give a F about my self and i dont give a F about life it self and if i get rich tomorrow i gladly marry a gold digger and just let her use me

[@uSpeakTruth]

The reason why it's so important to move on even when it hurts. Value and love yourself first before anyone else. 😉

[@SusanWinter]

Great comment!

[@is.b.1185]

You are one of the smartest, down to earth, loving and inspirational people I've ever seen. But the best part is that when You talk, I can feel your words and the connection. God bless you.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Isabella

[@michellelohde8683]

@@SusanWinter i feels I losing my my lseabin panter she say i dont help out with house work or her kids we getting marry in this may how tell her I dont want lose her ?? and what I do for fix it ??.

[@jasoncleve597]

I have to watch this every day to get it into my head. Bizarre how someone can completely change the way you see or value yourself...

[@stormfalcon72]

Ooh! I’m hearing one of the last things I said to my ex the night she broke up with me, “Babe, I’m not asking for a lot.” Ashamed now, because I realize that I had been asking to be appreciated and wanted her to put some effort and energy into maintaining the relationship for weeks. I went no contact from that moment on. No begging, crying or further devaluing behavior. Peace

[@morebacon1780]

I wasn't being appreciated. And I need to watch this a LOT of times, because the pain is still there. Thanks Susan. 😘

[@Joel-pg4yi]

Hey. Same. But it wasn't always like this. How do you let them go? Especially knowing how big pure loving they were but trauma hard life ruined them. I guess it's more than you feel bad for them and want to help them a relationship but it's really sad I still want her happy and succeed

[@ErnestHale]

I’m here. And I hate it here. Deep down inside I know that I have not been happy and feel used and taken for granted yet a part of me routinely creates hope in hurt. Married since 19 and at 32 nothing has changed. This message was presented in a beautiful manner and has revealed the ugly truth of many unhealthy relationships, including my own. Thank you, Dr.

[@syaurahilyana9370]

i've let him go, it was too hard and tired, fighting all alone to fix this relationship...now i feel so much better, i just hope that i'll meet someone who will appreciate me :(

[@letellier1990]

So hard to hear! I am definitely the B partner. I have been with my A partner for 35 years, since I was 15 years old! Time and time again I did not feel like a priority. It is very hard to let go after 35 years and two beautiful children and a beautiful grandchild. I finally asked him to leave but still prayed he would change, to which he responded, “I am not changing.“. I am healing but it is a slow and lonely process.

[@SchibbiSchibbi]

are you better now? It takes a lot of courage what you did

[@clairebear2975]

Hello, how are you now? Better i hope 💕

[@k.w.1459]

Brilliant commentary. Until Partner B opens their eyes and kicks Partner A to the curb and doesn't EVER EVER look back, regardless of how hard Partner A tries or how many well crafted, flirty texts/emails Partner A sends. Did it; I walked away and never reply and now I'm free! So much stronger now.

[@SusanWinter]

Absolutely!

[@waaapanda2608]

High five! That's how it should be!

[@k.w.1459]

Waaa Panda well it took far too long for me to finally walk away. I want to warn others to not waste so much time.

[@waaapanda2608]

Sometimes that extra time is what it takes to make you appreciate the moment when you do choose to walk away.

[@lucyjones955]

I was a doormat in marriage for 18 years. Doing it again close to a year and a half with a guy I’m dating. After the holidays I’m getting counseling to find out why I keep repeating the pattern. Thanks Susan.

[@diggarcia5190]

Wow, this was my story! I took him back multiple times. This went on for several years. I finally saw the light and said goodbye 2 yrs ago. He still tries to call me but I am not falling for it. I have grown and realized my worth.

[@jondabron5496]

I'm bawling my eyes out in my car because I don't want to leave her. I've never loved anyone like this but it's so obvious that she's only gotten worse since the last time I watched this video. I was the happiest I had ever been with her and now I feel like I'm a servant, I don't feel desired or appreciated and it hurts so bad. I love this woman so much, she has been the center of my universe since the start, and it's because of that I am left miserable clinging to someone who I can't even tell if they really want me anymore.

[@lavshinder90dhillon18]

brother i feel your pain ,i am in the exact place same scenario today...hurts like hell...

[@jondabron5496]

@lavshinder90dhillon18 In the last year, I have completely fixed my relationship. I realized the hard truth that it takes 100 effort points to maintain a relationship. And you can only expect your partner to contribute as much as you don't. When I wrote this original comment I was pouring 90 effort points and she was doing 10. I stopped inviting her to hang out or come over completely, after two weeks I went from asking her every day to hang and having a 10% success rate to having her ask every day and us hanging out all the time. If your partner cares about the relationship they will contribute more when you step on the brakes. If they don't and they let the relationship fizzle then they aren't interested in you the way you were in them. Now I live with my girlfriend and I've shifted to giving 40 effort points and her giving 60. Much more comfortable and happy now that I know how much she wants me because I gave her space to show that.

[@benabean4351]

Almost 4 years of being a partner b and the only way I can fall asleep at night is crying myself to sleep. So much depends on us being together and we've built so much together. The thought of everything just being for nothing makes me just as upset and I just feel stuck.

[@jrfish198526]

This lady is 100% spot on at first I didn't want to believe some of the things she said on the hot and cold videos but I'm sorry she's 100% right! so save yourself a lot of trouble and take her awesome advice cuz she knows what she's talking about

[@Almamater8888]

People very rarely ever change.

[@alynicole822]

Almamater8888 so true.

[@rose-of-theoasis]

They do... When you do

[@rose-of-theoasis]

Jaime B. depends on the kind of change you have in mind..

[@celticsoul2850]

That was me but I’ve worked on myself and never again. I deluded myself into thinking I was a good person for doing this when truly I was devaluing myself. It doesn’t help them either. Thanks for the lesson. I’ve wasted a lot of time but my time left will be quality whether alone or in partnership.

[@monajafri68]

The story off my ex and me, for 22 years until i walked away. And today he is married to someone els and being the better husband, I should have walked away in the beginning, and my story would have been different. learned the hard way, that being the perfect wife, and a better person does not always pays off. I have a good life now, but had to work hard to rebuild and become the person i am today. A lot off doubt about my worth as a human. From him i learned that i was not good enough. Who payed the price!!! me and our kids.

[@Inja101]

What signs did he show in the beginning that you regret not listening to? Thank you for your comment as it is helpful to read...

[@blueseptember2174]

Why I'd he being the better husband now? I wonder if he regrets treating you all so harshly.

[@sagenosnibor9173]

ouch... but its exactly what my heart needed to hear. i love myself more than the abuse. NO MORE

[@llzhang8437]

Her love comes with a price tag while she demands unconditional love. I almost fell in the loop that I am responsible to make her treat me better by devoting more. Thank you Susan!!

[@clairefisher956]

Is this the person you want to keep shaking til they treat you as you deserve.? Gold advice. Thank you Susan.

[@SusanWinter]

YOu're welcome, Claire

[@RG-hf4et]

Susan, I have watched practically every video you have made and somehow I just found this one. I wish you were around years ago to help me see the light. This video is spot on. I was partner B. I married my high school sweetheart after 6 years of dating. He was the best boyfriend anyone could ever have. I felt so lucky to find this wonderful guy at a young age. He always had my back. Everyone I knew loved him. After we got married, everything changed. The relationship was all about him. Everyone else became a priority and I was last on the list-work, school, his parents, brothers, the neighbors, friends, coworkers, etc. all came first. No matter what I said or did, A didn't get it until I finally left after being sick and tired of being sick and tired after 7 year being married. I felt like why did I get married? I should have stayed single. This is all about him. He acted like he was a Tom Cruise or rock star on tour and I was the faithful wife waiting for him to come home. On paper, we were a couple but not in reality. He had everyone else's back but mine. And he was still this wonderful, terriffic guy to everyone but me. No one knew I was miserable. We did counselling together at my insistence. He got better for about 2 months then back to his old ways. Then I went to counseling on my own for about 2+ years to find the strength to leave. It took me over 3 years to get the nerve to leave. My leaving was a great shock to those who knew us. We were the perfect couple. He was the perfect guy. The final time I walked out of my house, I felt tremendous relief because I knew my life of being last was over and I wish I found the strength to leave sooner. He told me during the divorce, "I thought no matter what I did, you would always be there. We were married." He didn't know how to be a husband. I hope this helps other B's out there......... It is years later now, dated different people. I find a common thread that most relationships I have been in start out nice and wonderful, then it's all about the guy. I now have zero tolerence for bs and have no problem getting up, walking out and not looking back. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[@tikitikki4374]

This is my story too, I am on his option list always! I out in so much to his career, it’s always him and his family is priority, he did once mentioned that “ it’s my duty to cook for his thankless family, so many negative words I have heard when I was living with his family in koi family system! It started from a kinda of dawry which my father could do his best! Everyday I heard comments “ what your mom has taught you? What quality your husband has seen in you? And plenty other insults! Walked out with my one year old kid 20 years ago, but it’s social pressure on my parents I have to come to him. My sixth sense/primoral response is alert after that, continuously updated my education just in case I need! My kids are grown ups now, I am gaining financial independence slowly but steadily! Carving my path out for 25 years!

[@tikitikki4374]

This gives me hope I will get there once

[@silkyjohnson4519]

I'm doing it. We'll see if she realizes. If not then oh well. I'm not bending over backwards to keep anyone in my life.

[@JIALINN]

Wow that hit my heart...that partner B has to lie to themselves--"you will never know until you express your needs" ...thank you

[@salleebagno4390]

You are "right on the money"! I was always partner B,the giving one who tried & tried.What was interesting was that when I had enough & met someone else...BAM,partner A all of a sudden wants me back.Don't fall for that game cause they will just go back into the same pattern once they hook you back into their life.

[@LemonTheDoggie]

This made me cry. I wish I can walk away.

[@jenniferbang4506]

TRUTH at 4:50... brought tears to my eyes

[@mrs.kayluxuryy6432]

Jennifer Bang literally soon as I seen ur comment 4:50 played n I cried n cried

[@judymagazine2965]

Susan - you nailed it once again on this one! There are SO many 'partner B's' out there. I would love to see you do more videos geared toward 'partner B's' so we understand what's behind tolerating this bad treatment and how to repair it. Thanks for your incredible videos - best out there in my opinion!

[@pattyinsandiego8573]

Thank you Susan. I've been struggling with this very thing. I'm partner B and you right it will never change, I've been in it for 20 years and have only realized the cycle in the last year. I did live in a dream thinking it will get better. It's not. Walking away is the only answer, and rebuilding what I have for so long taught myself to accept. It felt good to here it put in words. Thank you, I do deserve better and there is a man out there that will appreciate what I am. ❤

[@dr.aliadixonnursepractitio6473]

The power of walking away gives you almost an invincible feeling Just watching them squirm a little is beautiful to watch I know it sounds mean but it’s not it’s about valuing yourself and loving yourself

[@familyfinancialservicesmsb1847]

Dear Susan, your videos are amazing and so you are. This video reminds me of something I discover recently. Empaths vs Narcissists. I wonder if you ever made video on that topic? If not then I'd love to hear your views on that subject. Thanks

[@dragonfly8184]

Im partner B. I've been with my bf for over a yr. I've given given and given. We don't live in the same town but I ALWAYS came out to meet him. ALWAYS initiated everything. I've grown tired, so tired that I've stepped wayyyy back. I don't call, text, or do anything right now. Everyday he ignores me, doesn't reach out, spend time with me, I grow further and further away. It is now 2020.....a new yr and Im ready to let go and walk away. I was taken for granted heavily in my last relationship........Im not doing thid again. I refuse. Ty. I truly needed to hear this.

[@naturalblackcocoa]

Thank you Susan I was partner B this video changed my life

[@SusanWinter]

Awww. Thank you!!

[@erict9052]

This cut me straight to the core of being unappreciated of doing all that I can and getting nothing back. Hardest part is seeing reality of what it really is.

[@debralondon2402]

Trie

[@debralondon2402]

True

[@hku99]

It is Amazing why you can talk yourself into.

[@daryna94]

How do you know if you're partner A or partner B? Sometimes I feel like both ppl feel like they're partner b and the other person is partner a because of different perspective

[@michele1083]

Wow. This is so on point in every unbalanced relationship.

[@diegocaramanico3866]

Yes this has helped me ... thank you Susan, I’m a partner B unappreciated and under valued for years, time for a change and I don’t care if I lose her.. let’s see what happens ...

[@ShadowTiburon]

Sad. I was partner B. I gave my time, heart and sole, n was left broke emotionally n financially. He just used me constantly. I hated myself n lost all self worth.

[@malcolmhamilton8706]

What happened?

[@moaz6395]

My question is that how to not let the relationship get to the point where they even start taking you for granted at all?

[@jazzjo456]

Some people are just selfish and narcissists. They will treat you like that from the start. Even if you try at the beginning to point out their behavior they will try to convince you left, right and centre why you are wrong and that you are seeing things. The signs are always there even earlier on. Listen to your gut and run away as fast as you can.

[@Sarafara7]

A good person wouldn’t take you for granted period. If you feel they are starting to act in ways you don’t like, communicate. Talk to them about it. And if they don’t seem to care about you, then you leave. The right person will always care for you and want you around and will recognize how lucky they are to have you.

[@bybyana26]

Great content! I am partner B 😭. I referred to myself as being in a trance you described it as a dream state. It is so crazy how I continued to create this relationship that doesn’t exist because we latch on so hard. Yes I see your this is limited thinking 🤔

[@godlyman7435]

I usually dont comment. But I really have to. Susan you're one of the best in your field! You're just too good.

[@kerrystephenson543]

Brilliant. As always. I walked away 4 days ago..... It was hard.

[@ned_yah]

Sometimes you perceive yourself to be Partner B only for Partner A to make you feel like you're actually Partner A .

[@lopeztirez]

Thank you for the wise words. I'm currently a B in a relationship and I really related to your views on how I should disconnect from this unhealthy relationship

[@rosaliegonzalez2550]

Wow..I am partner B 😔. I have never been cherished or valued or appreciated. I have been told I'm too nice. Thank you for opening up my eyes.

[@HamsterGuroGirl]

Replace partner a/b with the corresponding names in your relationship and it really hits home.

[@evanssarker1644]

Well put

[@faithfuldesire8136]

I always gave him what he wanted and fought so hard to try and meet his every need as fast as possible but he got so distant till I told him I miss him and he never took me seriously. He even once said: "I know you'll beg me to get some" when he was always making the sexual advances. Only when I didn't talk to him for a week that he began to notice me. I want to be appreciated by him but there is nothing that's working. I don't want to give up on us.

[@whiggygirl]

Did you manage to sort things out?

[@faithfuldesire8136]

@@whiggygirl He cheated on me for the third time after swearing he would stop. Blocked me on Skype and Whatsapp after I told him I'm gonna find other people. He used me and never really loved me.

[@sumitchowdhury6675]

@@faithfuldesire8136 dont feel sad for urslv bcz someone gave up on u, feel sorry for them bcz they gave up on someone who wud hv nvr given up on them.

[@kemalfajar3468]

@@sumitchowdhury6675 well said

[@faithfuldesire8136]

@@sumitchowdhury6675 I had a much better lover after him but also got cheated on. My luck is rotten and I'm throwing in the towel.

[@basicbase749]

Partner Bs are the empaths and they have hard time leaving a person they love. We keep giving chances to our partner, hoping they will change.

[@violetlight8138]

This is so true. I'm person B. He has no license and no car. He's always the victim and makes excuses why he can't get it for himself. He has never had a license or a car. He says he's scarred from past relationships. We are in an open relationship. However, I have no one else. He has someone else and others he's flirting with. I drove an hour each way every week to see him. I'd be his taxi for all kinds of things. I'm over it. I left him a few days ago. He's trying to get me back with words of love. It's not working. I feel really done.

[@RX7821979]

I was partner B, I’m only glad I didn’t waste years on this girl

[@a.d.b535]

Guilty on both counts and learned the hard way. Thanks.

[@emefalove8462]

Susan, know this video is a few years old, but it has been such a tremendous help to me. Just as others have mentioned, I am partner B. I've been married for just one year and it's been a steady decline. Sometimes I get angry at myself because I saw some red flags before marriage but made excuses for him. I've been as open and honest as I could be. I very lovingly stated what I needed during our engagement and trusted him when he told me he wanted to be the man I needed him to be. He did okay for a very short period. I guess enough to get me to marry him. Since our marriage, I revisited this issue several times and it's like talking to a brick wall. You have to know when someone is incorrigible. I've always been a happy person filled with joy. Since my marriage, I've lost that person but she is rising back to the top. I deserve better and I deserve happiness. There's nothing wrong with me wanting to be loved, appreciated, adored, given affection, and to have love communicated to me. Love is challenging, but love should not hurt like this. I'm going to walk away for my own mental, physical, and emotional health. I have to love and respect myself first.

[@liviaemy]

Oh my God it broke my heart reading your comment. It felt exactly like what I am going through!

[@brandonsmith9045]

I’m sad that I have to watch videos like this. I’m partner B. Thanks Susan

[@OlderWomenRock]

Yes , I know this story . Thoughtlessness and lots of it with various empty promises .

[@liviaemy]

After watching this video, it made me realize how partner B I am! I need to step back and start thinking about myself !!

[@calumfraser8539]

I’ve decided to stick it out with my kids mother until the kids are older. Having there time is worth more to me than finding the right woman. I can put my love life aside for another 9 years been in this “relationship “ nearly 11 years. In that time i learned to enjoy going to my work its my happy place away from the partner some days are bad and wonder why I’m still with her but My kids happiness means everything

[@Almamater8888]

Basically, people rarely change. And if s/he is a passive/aggressive, they sometimes take delight in being exactly the opposite of what you need in a partner.

[@Literallyarealhuman]

only way to make someone appreciate you who doesn't is to walk away and never look back

[@llzhang8437]

Thank you, Susan. After being lashed out at and broken up with for the 30-ish th time (?), I automatically went on to a floral website and was about to buy her flower to please her so she'd add me back, but decided to close the website at the very last minute. I am a decent person, not the "piece of sxxt" or "coward who can't live without her" she calls me, I was a partner B but I decided to cut off.

[@richmondsinclair8382]

To give this conversation some diversity - I am knowingly Partner A. I hate myself for getting caught up again and again in the trap of not appreciating my partner, I keep forgetting it, I interpret situations the wrong way and I am stuck with psychological mechanics that shaped me when I was a kid - surprise. And I just dont know what to do anymore. I am about to lose my third partnership in my life to this. I appreciate your comments. I want to learn how to do this. Where to start? Which topics - books - frameworks? (I did psycho therapy for 1,5 years - I learned quite a bit about myself - I still fall back again and again). Grateful for your thoughts - Richard

[@GTO.007]

Hope you are feeling better? I am partner b type and have been doing some ‘inner child’ therapy, it works for me. If you believe it’s due to your childhood experience, those type of therapies will help to gain self awareness and heal from connecting to your shadow self and past traumas.

[@thedevilsadvocate9365]

Great video. This was good for my soul. I'm going through this. I keep saying well I'm a romantic, and she wants to go slow, so give her more time. But there's no actual progress. I'm stuck at a distance, but not free either. We're intimate when she wants, but she's cold aside from that. I'm supposed to be exclusive, but she's just into sex. Which isn't bad, but I want something more affectionate. I can't even find an affectionate partner if I'm being intimate with her, because I'm not a dog. Again thanks, great advice

[@luvlytxchicpr445]

Wow Susan, this hits home. Beautiful message.

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Luvly

[@gabbyyyyyyy]

I am partner B. This HURTS so bad ! But WHAT do I do. We have two young children together. He literally puts EVERY one before us :( he provides and is a good dad .....but when he isn't with his friends, he is playing on his phone half of the time.

[@johnneal6483]

I am currently separated and am dealing with this exact issue. Unfortunately I have been the "A" person. I never studied all this stuff so much. My wife told me she just needs love and doesn't feel it with me. She moved out and filed for divorce. Kick in the ass and a punch to my face. I realized that it was so simple, but my negativity around the house and not showing her the affectionate deserves led us to where we are. I want to fix things before divorce. The process is just starting in a few weeks. I am working on loving me and being respectful to everyone I meet. She won't see me and only talks by phone so I can't show her how I need to be. Many men won't change but after a few years of blowing this off I see how right she was and I'm making the needed changes to fulfill my wedding vows. I hope she gives me her heart back after 22 yrs. but lost how to get her to see me.

[@tikitikki4374]

Thanks Susan! It is exactly what I was feeling but did not understand what this infinite circle I am in! I have been falling for it for 25 years! What doesn’t kills you make it stronger! I am not garbage and can not be recycled!

[@williamhill2221]

Failed family or divorce often discuss these problems. We are happy. I hope you can follow good man.

[@jczuniga2974]

It hurts bad, i have done it all, i have put my soul and spirit into this and nothing seems to change ...

[@connieschmidt8713]

Thank you Susan!!!!You have given me the courage to finally stand up for myself and find and love the great woman that I am.I lost myself for way to long⚘

[@High_Priestess1111]

This completely encapsulates my relationshit 💩 with partner A as in A-hole who breadcrumbed me for some time with his dismissive avoidant dysfunction and once I had enough of his BS and ripped the rug from underneath his smug ego, he’s no longer the one laughing & in control of the narrative

[@lisawalter2311]

Susan, I'm sadly partner B.

[@boujiebarbie3198]

Another partner B here...

[@marzzianichols4204]

I'm partner b as well

[@sarahflara4698]

Same

[@blackivy011]

I’m partner A… I feel like it got this way because I just got so bored with my partner. I know that sounds horrid but I had so much to do and making time for them was just so hard and didn’t seem worth it because it wasn’t fun or fulfilling. But my partner has given me so much love. I need to find a way to appreciate them. I’m going to start putting work into them today. Thanks for the video. I feel like I’m the only person A in the comment section. I know we’re seen as the villain but remember that for every person B in here, there’s a person A who’s just too afraid to admit it.

[@GTO.007]

It’s not easy to admit the shady side of oneself. Thanks for telling the truth. It’s a hard pill swallow for all Partner B here, but also shows us the reality in helping us to make tough decisions in defending our peace. Hope your plan in putting more efforts into your relationship went smooth.

[@blackivy011]

@@GTO.007 it’s gone decently but it seems to have switched now lol. I’ve been giving more and she’s stepped back. Understandable since I did it to here for so long, but it’s never going to fully repair until we both step forward. Here’s to keeping up the work!

[@RT-fs3tt]

Susan you absolutely roasted me!! And I mean that in the best way possible. Your words here, and in your video about not being a priority, cut through my delusion like a knife. Wow, really needed that dose of reality, thank you

[@SusanWinter]

RT, sorry!! But if the upshot is that it helps you in the long run, then the truth is a very good thing!

[@indranidasgupta1511]

Thank you Susan!!! My husband whom am married for close to 11years have always made me feel low and hopeless... Our relation is so sour that nothing can mend it anymore. I have mastered courage to tell me on his face that no way am going to take this!! I am listening to you for quite some time. No matter what happens to me, I will not let this man in my life any more .. Thanks!! And keep inspiring!!!

[@avril.227]

I called him on his stuff right away, refusing to be a partner B with a new man, and I was terrified I would lose him! It’s not easy to put it all on the line when you feel a strong connection. And I was pretty upset and mean, because he was doing a few things that were unfair. And one of them crossed a boundary I had mentioned to him weeks prior. Fast forward, it took him two days to apologize and say he was going through his own mental health issues, (he had mentioned when I met him due to major health issues for 5 years). Yes. I stuck to my boundaries. It was painful to take the risk, but the self respect was worth more than any man. And in return he respect was greater, and he is more open.

[@420_9R8R]

This just put it into perspective for me thank you. I had a feeling nothing would change but my Sunny disposition and the whole hope in humanity kind of thing has kept me taking losses for 25 years. Being blamed for everything wrong until my mental state started to falter and she's pointing at me saying I need to be when I'm telling her it's her behavior that is causing that exact thing. I needed this video thank you again.

[@karatekid6977]

This lady really gets it! I hope there are more like her.

[@Elizabeth-mq6zc]

Susan, I learn something new everyday from your videos. I now can understand and accept the reality of my failed marriage in peace!

[@samjenkins4155]

I can’t stop re-watching this video - it’s SOOO spot on! I’m Partner B. I gave SOOO much and always maintained a happy disposition. I’m in so much pain now after I told her goodbye (together five years). Could you recommend a book I can read on this topic? Thank you!

[@madpatriot7464]

It's like you're watching my household in an aquarium. Shes so certain. I wont leave, she just does what she does.

[@eg0198cm]

I am definitely B. I'm tired investing 100% my time on A. Sometimes I put aside work and friends to be supportive to A in her difficult time. She literally has no support, family nor job. Yet I've always been there for her, supporting her mentaoklly and emotionally. But I don't feel valued nor respected. Sometimes she makes me feel like crap and I just feel totally tired. I think I will just distant myself.

[@leeqixang4316]

Ive been partner B twice , but in the first case I was so hammered and devalued that , I knew when to walk away in 2nd case. I did. And it didnt hurt.

[@waaapanda2608]

I'm loving this video. It addresses both sides and is so easy to comprehend. Such practical and refreshing advice!

[@missamericausa]

I got dumped in a text message. Was with him for six months. And I have to move for the best. And we had an agreement before I moved. I moved it took him five days to make a phone call. And I haven’t heard from him cents. It’s been six weeks. He sent a couple text messages and he won’t answer back I take some days and I was telling me that he’s very very busy. And then he told me last week that it’s over and good luck. I didn’t answer back at all- Mortified I am 50 he’s 35 I’m not going to do anything. Oh my God

[@debralondon2402]

I think I saw this video for a reason. Thanks

[@heidisummer5]

This is SADLY FANTASTIC Susan. Kinda wana cry but also jump with rejoice you are conceptualizing this & validating me. 🥰 A couple of my partner A’s exes turned into Junkies. Crazy Shit.

[@ilovehouse888]

Whoever cares more in a relationship loses. Really sad to say but it’s true. So make sure they pull their weight and that you never care and give more than they do.

[@ilovehouse888]

@@seguna That is the kind of thing a beta would say. It has nothing to do with being secure. It’s about being smart. If you care more than you friends, more than your employer, more than your significant other, it sets you up to be used and abused. If you disagree then that’s fine. Life experience has taught me this lesson and it’s 100% true. Unconditional love and care is for suckers. There should always be conditions on what you’re willing to tolerate and what you will not tolerate.

[@VeliThaGawd]

Sucks being partner B. It got to the point i have hate and genuine anger toward partner A but im leaving them for good

[@theurbanfarmlife7311]

He told me he was working on it . Each time he had a chance to make it better . He would stay the same and did the same ro me. I left and i dont want to be a doormat. It was an easy fix , yet he was too lazy to change so i did it for him.

[@hansmdinkermaniiv1665]

This lady is a godsend

[@supaporn65]

i listed to this video for more 3 times and i cried so much. For me i a partner B .

[@theAsiemeproduction]

You are the Best Susan

[@shadowfox_117]

this is how my ex girlfriend worked me, she got befriended by work thots, and she even cheated while being out with them. I asked her to leave them alone spend more time with me instead or find more respectful mature women to hang with! but she spent alot of time with her new fake friends. the constant lying loop she would let me calm down then talk to me then her actions would repeated. after listening to this message, I realized; me stopping the infinite loop madness was not me being mean and rude. but stopping the mind games.

[@jamesknightreading]

Thanks Susan. This was the very video I needed to see today. I was just about to weaken and contact my ungrateful gf.

[@cindyharlow1892]

B, is me too. I don't want to leave he has been showing improvements but forgets a few days later.

[@billsrippedfitnessover5047]

Very good advice. My girlfriend totally takes me for granted and it's about over. I've asked countless times to stop doing what's she's doing but she can't help herself.

[@josenavas9968]

Ms Winters; very good advice..My ego said keep at it, surely she'll see that I'm right and superior attributes will win in end! Well yes and no was the out come. Soooo I decided to shut my mouth and walk away. I got tried and her responses after that weren't of any value anymore to me.

[@sybilsatterwhite2270]

Thanks that was beautiful. I am B. He treats me bad in some of the worse ways. He tells me you know you going to be there 4me no matter what. After i tell him how he treats me. Other women, mental And physical abuse. He tells me no one else will be knocking down doors to be with me. You right i learned to adapt to such behavior for 3 years. Its just keep getting worse. Thank you.