Wicked Ways Narcissist Uses Physical Space to Control You

[@annettejohnson3625]

It's not a home! It's a torture chamber! 😢

[@puremaledark8305]

Sad but true

[@shrimpeyes4662]

well millions of women are lining up for it and would do anything for abuse and to enable it. Your never going to stop women seeking abuse.

[@Lolas_World1]

@@annettejohnson3625 It's suffocating. They take over every room in the house and set up a particular area that becomes a nest full of trash and collected things.

[@annettejohnson3625]

@Lolas_World1 yes! A hoarder of useless things as well.

[@magicalelevation]

Ikr. I feel sooo suffocated like there is no escape and I will die this way

[@margaretknoedler8575]

A narcissist thinks what is theirs is theirs and what is yours or anyone else's is also their

[@reginafarias]

My brothers thinks exactly like that. My mom used to say his motto was: what is mine is mine and what is yours is ours !

[@ColleenStevens-t8p]

Truth

[@iononcantomascrivo]

I used to know someone like this. She had no lasting connections with anyone, not even with family. She treated everyone like a convenient option while expecting them to bend over backwards for her. She had no respect for boundaries, zero regard for the word no being a complete sentence and nothing resembling a sense of accountability. I predicted her future in my last phone call with her. I told her she would have no relationship with her children when they were adults because she treated them like they were an extension of herself and the rest of the time they were fending for themselves while she smoked or drank or played on her phone or completely ignored their existence until it was convenient to use them as props to get handouts. I also told her that she better have her crap together when her youngest graduated high school and went out into the world because I didn't see her marriage to his father lasting. This was her second marriage. She had no equity or money of her own and no job. I told her he would chuck her out like the piece of trash that she is and then she would really know what it was like to struggle. She was horrified at everything I told her. She tried to turn on the crocodile tears and make me feel bad. I told her I didn't believe a word of it. I told her she was a vile, manipulative piece of crap, a poor excuse for a wife, mother and an even bigger poor excuse for a human being. She was shattered.

[@thejavandenberg4509]

Exactly

[@susan-t2x]

yep...'my house, my car my food' whenu actually contributed to it all or even flat out Paid for it with your own inheritance!!

[@thecatfarm]

They will throw away your stuff, steal it, or destroy it and then they will make it your fault. They will snoop, rearrange your things and then freak out if you don’t like it. They will tell you they HAD to do it because of something petty. It will always be your fault when they steal or destroy your stuff.

[@eleonorabartoli2225]

Threatening to throw away your stuff all the time, stuff in your room. But then they get all upset if you move their stuff from all over the house to their room while they are gone for months. They also use you as storage.

[@camellia8625]

So true about the narcissist making unilateral decisions

[@Sunshine-s6z]

S, narcs in my house never consulted me about the pets that I used to care. I use to feed, take out and clean them These narcs never even took the dog out or cared for their hygiene. Only I worked around d the house moving here and there, up and down the stairs 3 floors.. and even if one of the narc took out dog once he used to claim like as if he had been doing it forever. The narcs neutered my pets by their own decision, they even killed my old sick dog euthanized... claiming that it is good for the health of my baby.ofcourse dog was also having tumor. But I never wanted it get killed. I was cleaning the wound always.

[@LocustaVampa]

We all need a room of our own.

[@shivkumarcm]

You are an amazing truth teller. Thank you for the work you do to help the victims. God bless you!

[@puremaledark8305]

Yep. I took an ex-narc in to save her from being homeless. Immediately she started to try and dictate everything. How the clothes were washed. How the dishes were loaded. How the furniture was arranged. The temperature. You name it. I lived there for 13 years before she came in. Let me tell you, it enraged me so much! There was no respect!

[@Love.4.melanie]

Danish you are not just a narcissist support specialist. You are a survivor as well 😊

[@LindsayLoo-q5d]

Only survivors can communicate this stuff from the inside out. No one can really imagine how awful it is unless living through it.

[@dianeclayton4936]

OMG! This! I hadn't made the connection to the utter frustration i experienced around the living space. I never felt like it was ours.

[@yhwhzmyking.4243]

Funny. I was married for 13 cruel years, and he NEVER referred to the home we lived in as "our" home. It was ALWAYS "My House." (HIS house) Talk about feeling like a live in servant! lol.

[@friednoodles666]

this just explained so much about my own mother. i was rescued by CPS as a teen, but once i aged out of the group home setting and was sent home, my mother kicked me out. i had the same bedroom in that house since i was a little boy, and put so much work and care into my space despite the abuse i was constantly experiencing. as soon as i was properly discarded for good, she completely gutted the room of all my things and made it hers, painting the walls and undoing everything that made it special to me. i can't even describe how coldly she had told all of this to then-18-year-old me.i was always so shocked and confused by why she would want to scrub the space clean of her own son's existence. this video actually brought me a lot of closure after so many years. bless you danish.

[@bella_bella85]

I just sorta commented the same regarding the room and ur things! 😳 The only word to describe these ppl is WICKED

[@cassiebennet4262]

It never fails fo amaze me to hear how incredibly cruel these types are. I think that's why I'm constantly searching for what makes narcissists tick. Their horrible behavior and contempt toward their "loved ones" is incomprehensible to me.

[@wendyg.2664]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. 😞

[@VgVi13]

@@bella_bella85 100% agree

[@mj-rg9kp]

Being real, she never deserved you. A precious son to love and cherish,,she may or may not regret it one day, but honestly, who cares, sad but it’s her loss not yours. Always know, you have a father in heaven that loves you more than any perfect parent can on earth. He gave you life, he has a purpose for you, and you were always in his mind, many years before you were even born. He loves you and will give you all the love you need whenever you ask. Im not just saying this, when you do goto him, you’ll know what I mean. He’s also given us a mother, his mother Mary, to share with all of us, and she loves you so much too❤ hugs

[@gaias1]

My mother always did this to me. Even as an adult. She took over my bedroom as a child. I had no place to be because her clothes and Walmart bags full of shit were all over the place. As an adult, we allowed her to stay with us for some time since her husband died. Big mistake! She started taking over our home! She even tried to get me to take money out of our account and give it to her behind my husband's back! And she would push and push and push! She even tried to steal my friends! Her cat tore up my house. She pretended to cut her wrist in front of my kids. We kicked her out. Her revenge.....turning my daughter against me. I go between feelings of hate, anger, sadness, anxiety, feeling sorry for her, sympathy, love and then back to hate. Rinse and repeat. She is not just a bitchy woman. She's a monster! The closest to peace I ever had with her was her incessant talking. As long as she was talking about herself, she wasn't raging at me.

[@SylviaAmpah]

God have mercy! So familiar.

[@rochellet1333]

I had very similar experience. They are completely out of control. Run!

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Yes, spot on Danish. At the end of my relationship with a narcissist I wanted to stay overnight in the office. My house has been taken over completely. Scary stuff.

[@puremaledark8305]

I spent many nights in my truck, just to get away; it was the only place i knew i couldnt be bothered. Even then, they would beat on the windows to bother me. Later i would drive across town and park in a random spot and go to sleep and turn my phone off. Let me tell you that was some of the best sleep i ever had.

[@HydroDiver]

I am happy to be healing but this insight is so accurate that it takes me back to that horrible time in my life when I didn't understand what was happening to me until years later. I wish peace for everyone who suffers in silence and confusion. You don't know how strong and resilient you really are.

[@lilysleisure1918]

@@HydroDiver every comment is just as important as the video! Thank you for your comments. It validates and clears the confusion furthermore!

[@alicearcturus8610]

Yes! I have many sad and traumatic stories about this. I was always on edge even when he wasn't around. My life was not mine, nothing was and being around him I would be afraid of the next time he would destroy something whether physical or emotional. Even the pets. 7 years since I got him out of the house and I still deal with the trauma. I think I always will.

[@KerriLynnBulger]

As a child my extreme narc mom would search my things regularly. As an adult with my own home she'd snoop if she could & did. She stole my mail once, opened all of it & then returned it - opened. I had no idea this was yet another extension of narc abuse.

[@yuu_miran]

My grandmother used to do this with my diary. I didnt knew she was a narc back then. I was embarrassed in front of other people when she quoted what she read in my diary.

[@Hannah-s9o]

My dad opened my mail too.

[@lisasantucci8220]

So True! Won't let you talk! They control where everything goes and of course no or barely anywhere for your stuff. Thet have to complain about everything you do.

[@Deborah-uw5ip]

THIS is what's happening. I'm so happy Danish addressed this. It's not something you can talk about to others, because it sounds petty. But adding up ALL the incidents creates a troublesome situation. Just today, my roommate removed a gate blocking the stairwell & put it back w/out latching it. When I grabbed it, I almost went down the stairs. I had to put a sign on my bedroom that says Do Not Disturb (he has his own room), as he will open my door to let the dog in and wake me up. (Putting the dog before me). As I sit in the kitchen with my headphones on, intent on listening...THAT is when he starts talking at me. They don't get body language--and I have to verbalize every time: "I'm busy." He had a bad habit of leaving garbage around. After asking several times to put it where it belongs, he did it 3 more times. So I put every piece of garbage onto his bed. He got the message. There's more but I will spare y'all.

[@someoneyoudontknow7705]

Oh, they GET body language, believe me. They do it purposely to bug you (and me and everyone else)…they want a reaction out of us or, at the very least, some type of attention. I’m sorry you have to deal with that…not feeling comfortable/safe in your own home is the worst!!

[@user-wi9hv2pb2q]

You never have peace. ❤ yes. exactly.

[@jmj5388]

My narc spreads his crap all over the place. Long before his personality disorder was known, the spreading compulsion just seemed like a quirk. I stopped cleaning up and organizing, because he only clutters up whatever I just straightened up…and then blames me. He threw out a pricey item that had nothing wrong with it; I told him he had no right to do it, and asked him, “Shall I get rid of some of your belongings?” (He didn’t much like that).

[@susan-t2x]

wow! exactly...same Exact scenario..omg

[@craig_d]

Happily 3+ years removed from my narcissist ex. These videos provide so much clarity still when reflecting back. It gave me chills watching this video, as so many of these Red Flags popped within the first week of when we moved into our home together. After a week, when looking back, the mask of who I thought I knew was ripped off, and unfortunately spent the next few years doing tremendous self damage chasing that person I had met. Who ultimately was never real to begin with. Through therapy and a lot of learning and self care, I would realize a lot of these people pleasing behaviors were a result of my experience with my own mother growing up. Thoughts and healing to all with shared experience.

[@yhwhzmyking.4243]

Bless You.

[@craig_d]

@yhwhzmyking.4243 thank you, you as well!

[@lpupshaw]

I bought my home before leaving my husband, who was terminally ill, but still evil and strong willed. I entered the home many times as I was house hunting, during the sales process, moving, and living there for three weeks when he finally died. It was only then that I saw that my welcome mat did not say that, it said “Peace,” which is what I was in search of, and what he would not allow while he was alive.

[@samanthamitchell4115]

Every video of yours I find myself nodding my head, YES!! It is truly incredible how seen you make us all feel, you truly are an angel on this earth.

[@Sunnyinnorcal86]

Well this explains so much. Just another lever of control to keep you off balance. I see it for what it is now, thank you.

[@mariellarobles3372]

My journal is read ,my drawers and closet is searched nothing is personal I had more privacy living in my dad's house than as a married adult. He has his phone locked and is very private about everything.

[@MR-ly4xt]

This is so true. He followed me all over the house, I had no space of my own. I tried setting boundaries, it didn't work. He always threw my things away or deliberately broke them. He wanted everything his own way. When we moved home, he decided where to put everything, such as ornaments, shelves, furniture. If I moved something in a room, he started whinging about it and wouldn't shut up until I moved it back. I couldn't have anything the way I wanted it. He even controlled when the heating was switched on and off. If I opened a window, he closed it. When I opened the blinds, he would adjust them so they were only open a crack and I couldn't see out. The other thing was whenever I cleaned anything, he always moaned about it, as it was 'inconvenient' to him. Whenever I mopped the floors, he deliberately walked on them straight afterwards. Zero respect. He never let me hoover in his room. I couldn't dust or touch anything in his room. It is absolutely unbelievable. It really is traumatising.

[@soyicasweet99]

Omg mine was the exact same way!!!! It’s crazy how they are all like this

[@susan-t2x]

​@@soyicasweet99yeah...the weird extreme clone ppl

[@harrietleah212]

Everything in this video describes the current hell im living in. Im living in my in laws house and they are both narcissists. They bully me and abuse me to such a degree that I have lost any essence of my self and feel like im dreaming. Ive been here for a year and I have narc parents myself (who my evil MIL has befriended) so have no support system. I am 23 with a young child and hope to get out soon. I remember when i was a child, maybe 5, a moment that i told myself i wanted to freeze the time and told myself to always remember the injustice of what was being done to me, and that when i was an adult i would protect that little girl and give her justice. im right back there, at 23, hoping that my future self will give justice to what i have experienced here. We are about to rent somewhere and hoping to get accepted soon (the housing market here is saturated af), and im prepared for the storm to come as i know they are going to try and get legal rights to my daughter. I pray to god that i dont stray from his path and i stay in his light. Thanks for the videos as always, you and others like you are the only light and comfort i have in navigating this storm

[@yhwhzmyking.4243]

Stay strong. Things may seem dark at the moment, but it is only temporary! I was once in a situation where I almost lost all hope. I ended up with NO roof over my head...and I survived!! You are on a mission...you have a goal. You want the best for your daughter, and you are determined! Stay that way. NEVER give up hope. The Lord will provide- TRUST IN HIM! Also- don't give any family members a reason to try to take your daughter. Stay calm, clean and sober. You are so young and have a beautiful future ahead of you! Believe in yourself and in the strength the Lord shall provide 🥰

[@Lolas_World1]

Im familiar with this. The narc made the dining room his tool area. Tools, dirt, dead mice for his snakes anything that didnt belong there. Every room that was once nice and clean was turned into a hellish landacape. Whenever it was cleaned, that was the signal to dirty it up again. The same for the kitchen. It became exhausting cleaning it up. Food on the counter, the floors. Every dish dirtied.

[@imsaltylit3101]

Mine too! I’m so frustrated with this !😩 And if I would show my legitimate irritation he flips and uses every tactic. He has zero respect. Every day for years has been the same repetitive shit. It’s a big apartment and he’s taken over every area he possibly could over the years. Even the bedroom, which I haven’t slept in for 4-5 years. Because he essentially forced me out, only to throw it back every day . “How do you think I feel that my wife won’t sleep with me”. No, he wants to defile me but not sleep with me. But I couldn’t use my lamp to read in bed, he already controlled the tv, 😡 he sucks. He calls it his room like a fking child. He junked it up with tools and parts and fishing poles, hung big remote control planes from the walls, put thick blackout curtains in the windows, has crates and toolboxes, and signs on the walls like a man cave. It’s gross. And he eats in bed, I used to get so pissed because if wash my blankets and he’d get in dirty and sweaty after work or fishing…. So I moved to the living room and that’s MY only space. The kitchen is a big space and open to the “sunroom”. The washer and dryer are in the kitchen area also. Not only does he throw dirty clothes on the floor next to a basket, but He leaves piles of clean clothes on top of the washer. EVERY SINGLE DAY he rummages through them and every day I have to move them just to do laundry! I wish we could post pictures lol. The kitchen table has stuff on it, the sunroom is filled with his stuff, it’s awful. To make it worse he pissed off two of the worst neighbor ladies ever, and the landlord wouldn’t let him use the “storage” room anymore. So everything that he had accumulated and hoarded in “his room” had to come out and he brought it in the house! In the attic, the bedroom, the sunroom… they complained for over a year about his stuff, his noise, his running in and out all night long.. and I just got told I have to move after 9 years! 9 years in the same place and ya know what he said to me? He said “You better not turn this around on me!” So…as I’m stressing to find a place to live , all I keep thinking about is how MAD I will be at myself if I move to another place with him. I do NOT want to live anywhere else with him. 24 years is long enough and I’m done ignoring my own needs and complying with his.

[@lilysleisure1918]

@@Lolas_World1 and God forbid, if you tell them not to - - they will come after you! Yes they are dirty creatures

[@lilysleisure1918]

@@imsaltylit3101 they are horrible

[@Lolas_World1]

@@lilysleisure1918 They have an aversion to cleanliness and peace.

[@jmj5388]

@@Lolas_World1 😩

[@DaisyRenee713]

SPOT ON.

[@samanthamonique7094]

He would always eat food off my plate and I would tell him to stop. He would minimize it and continue. I couldn’t even decorate in the house but he would buy things and decorate all the time.

[@elizabethmadron1336]

My narcissist father used to steal French fries off my plate when I was a kid. Tried to make like it was a joke. It wasn't. Reason why, I was born premature and underweight as a young child. My pediatrician had me drinking carnation instant breakfast to help me GAIN weight. I Needed those fries he stole. Both my parents were Somatic Narcissist. These sickos are worried about looks and weight. The men tend to be facinated with cars and their hairlines and muscles. My mother would have me weigh every day as a teenager to prevent me from getting fat as she called it. She did not want me to gain weight above 110 lbs. Pretty sick stuff. Normal for my height would be up to 125.

[@TanyaKatherine]

@@samanthamonique7094 REALLY? 😣 My dad did this too!!!! Until I started saying no. I didnt know other people had this??? omg. Now it is better but other things are encroached upon.

[@TanyaKatherine]

@@elizabethmadron1336 OMG the narcs in my family are obsessed with looks and weight too!!!

[@lilysleisure1918]

@@TanyaKatherine they constantly praise one child who is better looking and they are constantly pointing out the flaws in others. like we can control our own looks

[@TanyaKatherine]

@@lilysleisure1918 Wow this is so on point and sounds like a lady I just blocked who was an old family friend. Always praising the daughter who was slim and publicly shaming the obese one. They do this a lot in narc families, they will black sheep one, and make the golden child the other one. I used to be the golden child and now I have become the black sheep. What is the true perception? How can a person be both in one lifetime? This shows that it is all a theatre and messing with our perceptions.

[@sidnasir5483]

Also keep an eye on grocery items. And if u use according to ur wish . Next time they will not buy tht thing until they wish to buy

[@thejavandenberg4509]

Yes totally , I never felt comfortable when the narccistist friend was at my place or even when we were any place outside , it felt like he took all space all the time .

[@luna_soleil]

Another way and I know this isn't for everyone..... My ex narc *always* wanted to shower *with me*. I *hated it*. Then if I wanted to shower alone or kick him out so I can just have some privacy - it becomes a huge thing. Or if it doesn't become a huge thing, then he was really passive aggressive for the next day or two.

[@shrimpeyes4662]

women have no identity to inforce boundries, once isolated they will do literally anything to fit in and be accepted.

[@mialambert6873]

Mine was too!

[@lilysleisure1918]

Danish, you are able to smile through all those things! It's beautiful and very encouraging for us

[@LoriFields-jg1ts]

Once they've established home economic dominance, that's when there's this bizzare notion that you are staying to long as a guest in the narcissists house. 😮

[@prutha555]

Even I was not familiar with the word of narcissist ,now the picture is clear .. getting guidence from your videos,🙏

[@rmarieshen862]

I have lived every single one of these. There is a difference between having your own space in a shared place (healthy) and being threatened with violence if you enter another person's space. Ine that you missed that I would add is how they take advantage of the closed space of a car or vehicle to terrorize you.

[@lilysleisure1918]

@@rmarieshen862 he has mentioned that in another video

[@pamperqueen1238]

The narc would put on strong scented lotion in my car. I told them I didn’t like it because I have an aversion to the smell of strong perfume. She started applying the same lotion as soon as she got in the car the next time. I turned the car back around to her job and told her to get out. Never had the problem again.

[@susan-t2x]

omg!! yeah The Car Trap!!! absolutely terrifying!!

[@VgVi13]

We moved a lot while I was growing up and it's still easier for me to move on than work at relationships. Sadly. My Mom always blamed my dad (of course) because she said he was an alcoholic and kept losing his job, but I always believed and said as I got older that anyone would have to drink to live with her. (they divorced when I was 12) My stepdad ended up clinically deaf and blind before he passed. (had to be to live with her) I cleaned the house once and put things away at 15 yrs old. She went ballistic. You couldn't even eat at the table with all the clutter. But then that's also Mormonism for you. Oh, yeah that's a narcissistic cult. The rabbit hole never ends. Thank you Danish. You always hit the nail right smack on the head.

[@lilysleisure1918]

@@VgVi13 yes they put weapons and bed linens (that they have bought to store only) in your wardrobe and you have to keep your clothes hanging from door knobs and handles 🤷🤦

[@LarissaCheyy-p8d]

Then when you do it back to them they get mad.

[@sharonlangford6478]

@@LarissaCheyy-p8d So what you’re mad already they are not God I out Narc the Narc

[@juliashenandoah3965]

That is the second worst thing that can happen to children next to abuse of any kind: No stability and no continuity but constantly always CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE. Moving here moving there, always leaving behind all friends and the school, never-ever being able to permanently settle somewhere and call somewhere really "home", already having moved and having been forced to leave everything behind five times at the age of ten. That makes children absolute insecure adults who cling to everything that somehow brings standstill peace of mind stability and security (just like you explained in your newest videos, always watching the same videos always playing the same videogames always reading the same books over and over again - just for the sake of feeling predictability standstill and peace of mind, and to feel the most important aspect: safety and security.) This can even lead to animal hoarding or hording in general which is animal cruelty, or other problems than just certain repetitive habits like getting borderline aspects in personality. Very fascinating videos you have in your channel, I really like them. Absolute authentic.

[@mamamoose2700]

My sister is a narcissist and lives with my mother. Refuses to work, completely dependent on my mom and ex husband. This describes her 100%. My mother left to help a family member with surgery in another state, and when she returned, many things were thrown away because my sister did not like the color or age of my mother’s possessions. My mother is an enabler and has never stood up to her. Just keeps handing over her credit cards and her home. It’s been 8 months since I have spoken to either. I went no contact after my sister physically hurt my daughter and my mother just stood there and didn’t do a thing.

[@Vstar87]

I remember one time I told my narcissist ex to leave and he refused to leave and kept saying no even though I asked for my own space he never respected my decision.Don’t ever let a narcissist move in it is very hard to get rid of the narcissist.

[@soyicasweet99]

Yes!!!! I just got mine out

[@TheGreatPretender89]

Years ago my FIL came over to my house and grabbed from some garden clippers and began to remove part of my garden. He never asked, and he didn’t care. Even after he was told to stop he kept going. He had no idea what the plants were, he just announced that he didn’t like them and so he was removing them.

[@camellia8625]

I wonder if the police could have helped

[@Oc3anFlow3r]

My narcissist mother in law did the same thing. Even if she was angry we went on a family holiday without her permission, I'd come home to large sections of plants and shrubs ripped out of my garden and burned.including 7 plants my dad had given from his garden 2 months before he died the same year. Two of those plants had been transferred from a home I'd lived in 25 years before and the flowers had been used for my engagement party. She did so many other evil things too. Thankfully she is dead now, but now it appears my own daughter has married a narcissist, and my daughter's MIL is definitely the worst kind of narcissist.

[@pamperqueen1238]

@@Oc3anFlow3r A eviction notice would have been promptly given. Don’t just lay down and let them walk over you.

[@susan-t2x]

omg..yeah! ..i was ' given ' a 6'×4' garden space from an entirely unused garden (30'×40' space) i come back from farmers market to plant 4 special tomato plants that cost $7.00 ea.... next day he has literally planted 9 inadequate acidic and unidentifiable tomato plants! ..what a sabotage so when I got back from helping my pregnant daughter..the unmaintained jungle had taken over All of my special tomatoes, which got cancelled out completely... unrecognizable and missing completely

[@gigiw.7650]

I never felt like our home was my home or my kid's home. It was his house. Just his. He would do things like put a wet towel on my antiques and I was always having to protect things from his distruction.

[@puremaledark8305]

Yep. Zero respect for YOUR things, but heaven forbid you even look at theirs and the lose it

[@LindsayLoo-q5d]

Sounds horrible.

[@antheredhen]

Dido

[@amywilliams6637]

I think it’s poetic justice what is happening to Diddy right now…

[@angiemaggard5089]

Amen

[@susan-t2x]

exactly!.. was literally thinkin yesterday..He has Got to be a narcissist! ..omg!

[@KC-sv8pp]

I cooked, cleaned, restored, spent thousands of dollars on a demon spirit that pretended to love me, and accused me of being dumber than him and an adulterer-both easily refutable and ridiculous. He loved to argue, fight. Screw focused on that horrible demon and I’m not fused about his demon nature. It’s not my problem. Somebody else’s problem now! 🙌🏼❤

[@curiousone6435]

Danish, great video. Could you do a deep dive into narcissists and hoarding?

[@angelwild5665]

Spot on. Thank you for posting. Sounds exactly like a few people I know.

[@laurelmarshall6903]

My father gave away a 4-Door 1957 Chevy that I inherited from my Grandma when I was 17 or 18.. (Suddenly, the car was "gone" & my father said 'he gave the Chevy away to a friend of his for his friend's 21 yo Daughter, who was starting a new job & didn't have a car to get to work..). I was in High School & sometimes I liked to drive that car 2 miles to school, instead of riding my bike. My father didn't even ask me before he gave the car away to his friend for the friend's daughter..

[@camellia8625]

He treated it as if it was his to give away

[@susan-t2x]

my husband sold my mustang convertible out from under me!! .. micromanaging the car i bought from my daughter.. with my own$$!!.. crippling me by taking away my freedom and resources for survival as a 60 yr old with disabilities

[@rubberbiscuit99]

Spot on. I have new narc neighbors. So aggressive.

[@mattheastout978]

Danish, you're the only one who I have seen talk about this. This man does these things constantly to me and it's to keep me feeling crazy and unstable. He will neglect to fix things in our home that need fixing until I am so embarrassed I won't have anyone over, I don't know how to fix these things, but he will talk down to me like I should do it while he stays at work 12 hour days all week. He won't ever show me what to do without acting like I'm stupid for asking or not just knowing already. Our toilet in our bedroom doesn't flush right, but he insists on taking gigantic craps in there in the morning and it takes literally all day long to get it to flush, he just leaves it for me nearly every single day.

[@jmj5388]

@@mattheastout978 Is there another potty in the house you can use…and let him come back to his own droppings the next day? Yup, I’ve got a houseful of minor damages that need to be repaired, but he won’t lift a finger, as it would take him away from his beloved TV. He came into the marriage with a toolbox, but I can’t figure out why 🤷🏻‍♀️. I “always” did most of the repairs-having lived alone in an apartment and my own first house-but I’m disabled now, and can’t do these things without help. The entitled, arrogant ass had the nerve to criticize what I DIDN’T do, when I was doing 90% of everything, and working a high-stress job full-time. Divorce is not an option at present, so I’m pretty much just waiting for one of us to die at this point.

[@jbob1548]

Oh my gosh, this is so me right now. Three toilets in the house only one works properly didn’t have air conditioning for seven years. Haven’t had a dishwasher for three didn’t have a dryer for seven years and everything is taped with duct tape. Well, I’m not allowed to have anything repaired fixed.

[@sharonlangford6478]

Why is everyone afraid of a narcissist just treat them exactly how they treat you. They can’t handle it. Mirror them back at them in silence they will lose their minds 😂❤ it really does work

[@yhwhzmyking.4243]

Some people just can't act so nastily...even if they try. It's just not in their nature, character, heart or spirit. The best thing to do is exit the evil situation...with a loving heart still intact- if at all possible 🥰 God Bless...

[@sharlenalove3357]

So true. Then sometimes they turned it a notch or three

[@sharonlangford6478]

@@yhwhzmyking.4243 I agree with you 100% but it’s actually become a game to me because the Narc acts one way in private and another in public so they know what they are doing Sooo to me it’s on purpose so I don’t care about their comfort either

[@deedoyle4069]

I tried that way. It didn't work. It's got worse. Then I collapsed, physically! Finally, I forced him to leave. My recovery is slow and painful...but SOOOO much better without him!!!

[@Brishti155]

Yess..👍👍tit for tat.why to have sympathy for them if they don't have any empathy with you.what is the use of kindness if they don't realise your worth rather they Gaslight you with their illogical taunts they make you ashamed for your goodwill.then it's very much ok to treat them the way they treat you.what is bad in calling a spade a spade 👍

[@deedoyle4069]

Danish, your comments seem extreme, BUT, they're spot on, Literally! My 'old friend' did ALL of what you said. He's covert.... like living with an unfeeling robot. For the last 10 years, he's gradually trashed my home. 'Brings me to serious shame! A lot like pres-candidate T's bad behavior. Horrible. The 'extreme' IS a fact. I'm 2 years out of range of him now...very slow to recover! I'm 86 & hoping for HOPE!

[@parabot19]

This is my wife to a tee. She never cooks a thing but seizes any opportunity to organise the kitchen!

[@IShallNotBeSilent]

Yep, exactly what my narcissist has done. Problem is, I own it all and he refuses to leave. I have my Craft and music studio that I am now moving into and have much more peace. He never comes into my space there and knocks at my door. He does nothing to help or assist with any upkeep at home he says due to his poor health, , but he can run with the volunteer fire dept. He has the Emergency radio going all the time in the house now. He keeps stating he will not live 10 more years, and he started saying that over a year ago. 8 1/2 left to go unless The Most High has mercy on me. I will NOT leave my property or home and have definitely set my boundaries. I leave and travel a whole lot since I am now retired. He can sit there all by himself for all I care. I hope I do not sound cold hearted? I just see my future ahead of me.

[@theresaleskinen6433]

Danish, I really love listening to you and you are so sweet and cute. I am in a 36 year marriage with a demon possessed covert narc. I know I have always had my own issues of being so decisive and wanting things a certain way (which I think was enraging to him) I came from a messed up home too. But I just moved into the mother in law suit that we have. Things are much more peaceful for me now but boy did he put up a hissy fit when I first made the move. It tickled my funny bone when you said how psychotic your mother was and how she would say the house was haunted. I am sorry for your horrible up bringing but am so happy to see you healed and helping others (like me). God bless you❤️

[@sherryelam7660]

This is so 100% how my (narc) husband acts. You would think that people would be happy when you clean up a house and try to make a house a home. But the house was mire like a storage unit. If I try to move things to clean there would be an argument. I thought this was the most Bizarre thing. Who argues because a house is clean?

[@soyicasweet99]

Right!!! I always thought that was crazy!! They don’t like you moving stuff and cleaning. They hate it! Not even spraying air freshener

[@lindy977]

I have had come to the realisation that both my brother and father are most definitely Narcissists. It's like finding out that Martians do exist. It's surreal. I listen to them and they are text book Narcissists. It scares me because they are my only direct family.

[@LisaKelly-k8s]

This is the uncomfortable beginning of your healing. Step 1 realization

[@LisaKelly-k8s]

I don’t know the other steps, yet.

[@world-uk2vj]

Eventually they take over the entire house, moving their victims out and into submission,

[@forumicebreaker]

I'm somewhat territorial, too. I had a room at my parents, for example, where once the fiance/wife stayed there, she took over the room, I have this in writing in one of her notes from early on in the whole deal. I was somewhat okay with sharing space at that point. BUT. No more. The living room in our marital residence was on track to become a "her" space, where I was more in the mindset of having it become a neutral space. I am a wannabe designer, too. So, the stupid big couches we had to get many apartments ago were very not space friendly. I moved "her" stuff into "our" room as much as I could. "Our" closet was an pile of chaos and the sliding doors would get knocked off their track to the point I just took them down so she could stare at her pile of chaos. Couldn't get the things closed. Eventually I just made my own little closet rack in the corner of the room and I had nothing in that closet. My old shelves my room at my parents were still with me but were filled with piles of who knows what in "our" room. I had a corner of the basement I tucked myself into. I kept the main section of the basement as clear and clean as possible. She would have had that area piled with stuff, disorganized, if I had not kept up on it. Even the queen mattress I am using in my "seek residence elsewhere" place would have ended up molded on the floor there if I hadn't got a small frame to get it off the ground. (She says something like, "we can sell it," but...... That would go the route of the baby clothing that was still sitting around in mass amounts while the 12 year old was our youngest. She said she would have a rummage sale and sell them but she didn't have tables. I bought tables. I had the tables there. She still didn't take care of it. Scary thought that crossed my mind was that she was keeping the baby clothes so she could get herself pregnant and keep me controlled now that I'm learning about stuff. Kind of makes sense why the discard as the 12 year old was now riding the bus and was fully capable, and I took away all the little things that I could get bitched at for a daily basis. One helluva interesting mind&^%$ over a couple decades in hindsight.

[@PatGusoff]

My uncle built me a live in doll house in our back yard. That was short lived. My mother was a hoarder and quickly filled it up with junk. She was a "just in case if emergency " person. Looked like he'll with old awnings to cover windows and doors. Eyesore!

[@elizabethtowers3321]

I agree, absolutely

[@janedoe5229]

That shirt is wild. :)

[@Polacerbic]

Omg thank you best educational video 🙌🏼🙌🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@kristenrobinson665]

when i started improving myself and cooking food/ took a keto lifestyle, my mother took all utensils pots pans and hid them. she would use my oils and spices and text me to buy more when while time she was criticizing my ‘diet’ saying it was high fat and pointless. i have no illness. she has 3 chronic issues and is overweight. anytime i do something positive she will ignore it and bring up other people that are doing the same, praising them for their genius and progressive thinking. i could care less but it’s still so exhausting ❤

[@Shukra9665]

Oh no, the number of apartments we moved into in 7 years! I understand now

[@jamiebereti5489]

Everything you said was bang on.

[@flowerchild89]

❤❤❤ thank you, DANISH 🙏 You help me so much. You're AMAZING 🤩. GREETINGS FROM ILLINOIS.

[@KerriLynnBulger]

I grew up with an extreme narcissistic mother, 2 spoilt younger narcissistic sisters & a codependent / narcissistic older sister. I was the family scapegoat. The family 'line' to me was always that the abuse was MY fault. What nonsense. I believed it sadly for decades. Now my 3 sisters don't like Mom much as she's often mean. Ha. I'd like to use their line with them - you provoked it. It's your fault.

[@lilysleisure1918]

@@KerriLynnBulger it's horrible when they gang up against you!..

[@terencehennegan1439]

NEVER apologise to a narcissist, Why ?…if you do they see you as owing them and that’s a strong connection. Narcissists talk at you not with you, it a one way street.

[@world-uk2vj]

Territorial at all times, anywhere, everywhere,

[@AngelEyes-xm7el]

I keep al my stuff in my car. There is only his space.

[@puremaledark8305]

My truck was my safe space too. Even though it was my house. I just wanted to get away

[@AngelEyes-xm7el]

@@puremaledark8305 mine is my house. He promised so much. Never believe a promise. Now he is mad his dog wants out for the night. So glad i never married him. Trying hard to escape the rants and insanity every day. Geez!! He is pouting like a 3 year old it is not fair his dog needs to go out after 6 hours being locked up in a truck. I can't get him out he is the big ugg

[@drnirjasheth]

You are speaking exactly what my😮 narc husband has been doing. When I bought my clinic he wanted a little space to see his patients on which we had a big fight. He would call his patients for consultation during my working hours and dumped his useless things in my bedroom when I was out of station

[@latishaschultz6200]

Absolute facts💯💯💯

[@ginaalesha2]

Awesome Danish! 💚💚

[@luna_soleil]

Or when I had covid, he quarantined me in the room and told me I wasn't allowed to eat on the bed.

[@Earthoceanfire435]

That what I call him a Predator.

[@MamabearAsh4248]

When I leave this time, hopefully, I can actually do something about making sure I'm safe and financially able to go no contact and keep them out of my life.

[@sonjamccart1269]

Here is my experience with this: the narc wants to "help" but won't put things where I could find them. The narc would "corner" me in the walk in closet and want to initiate conversations. The meltdown rages were in my face and in my space - and during my work hours (work at home office). I had to verbally tell him to back off and "not now." Now that I am out of the situation, they are giving me the silent treatment. They want control and won't communicate unless they perceive they are in control. So glad I am out.

[@franken-pattern]

When I was living with my (now) ex husband, he hated that my stuff "took up all of the space" although he had brought nothing with him when we moved in together. No furnishings, and only a small amount of clothing, but my couch, my clothes, my craft supplies were a "problem". Then, once we settled in to the apartment, I tried to discuss with him his debilitating dr☆g habit and how it was affecting the family. That was enough for him to physically attack me and he almost str@ng/3d me to d3@th. I had bruising for more than ten days afterward and fell into a fugue state. I still live in the same apartment and still sleep in the same bedroom where the incident happened. I can't begin to tell you how that makes me feel. I would LOVE to move, but due to my health and inability to work, I'm stuck in this house of horrors...😢

[@soyicasweet99]

Aww I feel your pain. My ex was the same. I hate looking around my place to see all the parts of the house abuse took place at

[@sujatathakur19]

100%true video.Sir please share knowledge to handle these purposely devastating invasions by a neighbour🙏

[@LarissaCheyy-p8d]

I totally agree!

[@csstudio3648]

My ex narc husband also controled space by not collaborating or working with me to create a nice space. Basically there was resistance to everything. Out of frustration I would end up doing it myself. Then he would ignore the changes and not validate how nice it looked. Very invalidating. Crazy making behavior.

[@moonpearl4736]

This was the oh-so-perfect spiritual being of God who I took pity on for being homeless. She was, of course, always right and God was on her side and she knew best and could therefore do whatever she wanted with my space and my things (and knew what I should do about my diet and sleep and belief system. What a demon I was!!)

[@Sunshine-s6z]

Very Very true. Home will not be home because of them. It's always like jail. Very true with the kitchen. Very true to barge into personal things. This is FIL. Now when comes to his byproduct my husband, when ever he enters house some kind of negativity is felt as if my air to breathe is captured. But this negativity is not present always, which creates confusion in my head( he is also junior narc, I think this character passess on to next gen also beacuse he also reflects many of the matching characters with his father).

[@BeautifullyModest]

This was my experience. Such a nightmare. So glad to be away from my ex husband.

[@SaminaQazi-q8c]

I did same means mirror him back n given taste of his own medicine silence treated silence n yell at yell😅 so he kicked me out of his hell so easily 🎉🎉😅 thank u Danish❤

[@shobhas5360]

Whatever mentioned are 100% true. After 3 decades we came to know that one of the family member ruined all stages of life related to siblings and parents with the help of evil spirit. Just imagine the pain of the family members how they should react. We lost both father and mother maybe they came know the truth before few months of their death. I strongly feel that these people are exist in each and every family, so be careful at ever step. In today's era one should be alert by opening eye and ears open. Beleive in universe.

[@antheredhen]

100%. You have no space that's yours. They will randomly give away your stuff. We have moved so many times. Mainly because he can't keep a job. He's good at what he does he has awards to prove it but the coworkers hate him, the bosses hate him which leads to unemployment no matter how good you are.

[@adrianam2157]

My narcissistic mother would give away our toys and constantly throw out our art work with out warning. She would even go as far as to break into the bathroom to beat us while we were showering. Our closests, backpacks and even our trash were never off limits. I used to think the toys, clothes and other personal belongings triggered the hatred for our father gifting them to us. The trash searches were due to her worrying about teen pregnancy. Now I realize, it was mainly about control and the narcissistic belief they own you in body and soul. Utterly disgusting! Narcissists believe they have the right to their spouses and children. Lord saves today😢

[@antheredhen]

My inlaws moved up north for a couple months. Hated it decided to come back. His dad stayed with us for 2 months in the house they sold and was then rented to us.. No problem with him. She (mommy dearest) comes down wasn't here a day. I go to work come home the whole house is rearranged, dishes, silverware everything.. Her excuse was that's where she had it when she lived in the house so she felt that's where it all should be.. GET OUT NOW!!!! Kicked them to the curb..

[@JaneJones-lg3bd]

Never tell a narcissist that you like something. They will fiddle with it and break it, or make it unusable. The things or spaces in the home that you like will always come under attack. They will always want to alter it in some way, and if you object watch the SHTF!

[@o.e.o.r2875]

This random, but I had a weird dream. The setting was in a train and it was you Danish, but as a kid with your father. I don't know what he looks like obviously so it's what I would imagine his appearance to be in my head. He was screaming at you and I went to kill him for treating you that way. You told me to wait and then you stood up to him. After that, he tried to pretend to be victim, and use empathy against us and tried to kill us, but I didn't let him do so. My point is, through your videos you help us articulate how we've been feeling, give us advice and make us feel understood. Even my subconscious knows you have been there for us. I wish I had been there for you...thank you for everything!

[@LindsayLoo-q5d]

Thank you!

[@marciasrivastava4861]

My ex husband was a narcissist. I asked him how he would like things and tried to involve him. He would give no input so I made everything for him as convenient for him as possible. He told me as a lazy wife and so I woke early and quietly cleaned and made him coffee and prepared his breakfast and made a lunch of things he chose. He took me to a counselor with him and said I was a narcissist and I felt horrible. When he was so abusive I had to remove him I came across the word narcissist and the real definition. Everything About him fit the definition. He made me feel shame for trying to do good....he gave me no peace and a constant heavy chain to bear on my being the whole marriage. Their worst defining characteristic is manipulation and from that stems Abuse and isolation/alienation of you and those around you.

[@etaokha4164]

For the first time when he came back and tried to hoover me he noticed my surroundings and the changes ive made when he walked away. When i was with him he didn't notice nothing but expected me to make that thing available. His sense of entitlement told him that my stuff belonged to him and him alone. When he walked away and i went no contact he was expecting my home or me to stay same and i shouldn't evolve. Complete Demons. He noticed the materialistic in my home but didn't notice anything else except materialistic things i changed in my home. This people are demons and miserable with nothing going for them. He claimed he has millions but yet he pays £150 for child support 😂😂😂

[@savannastarlight]

Very good information 👏😄❤

[@Miss_Takn]

Wait a minuet , now I know i am not a Narc . I know that for sure . i have moved into a home that was completley no flow , no method to the madness . I would show him where everythin g is he had no direction . he had no idea where his stuff was it was all over scattered. i never felt like this is mine . its our home . E When your asked 50X a day where things are , the things he had control of that were right in front of his face . everything everywhere . I gave up .

[@bumblebee_ms]

My ex NEVER cooked but told ME how to cook.

[@guidanceofislam3172]

Thank you very much