Will I be Stuck at a Crappy Job Forever?

[@xMushroomFairy]

I'm 24 and I started working my first full time office job starting in February and I have never been more depressed in my life. It's funny because when I was working part time minimum wage I thought "Once I get that full time job I'm going to be happy". I don't mind working hard, but I am working hard and not seeing much reward for my work. I can barely afford a one bedroom apartment in my city, I live paycheck to paycheck. I can't afford car payments so I walk or bus everywhere. and then I think about how this is just how my life will be until I retire and I feel so trapped and I want to scream. I don't think humans were meant to live like this.

[@paraskaith5027]

I really wish things will improve for you my man, much love ❤

[@apollofateh324]

I'm 22 and I feel the same. Work full time and still can't afford a car, but if I could get a car, I'd have access to better job opportunities + be able to make more money + move somewhere cheaper. I'm paying $700 a month for a bedroom, not even an apartment, and that's average for where I live (it's not even downtown, so there's nothing to do, it's literally just fast food and corner stores). But I have to stay there because public transportation sucks where I live and I have to be within basically 1 mile of where I'm working. As someone else said, it's literally just late stage capitalism. It's not your fault, and I lot of people live paycheck to paycheck and can't afford a basic living standard. The system is falling apart, but we don't have something to replace it with yet, so it seems like it's never ending. But it will end. Evidence is mounting, with things like "The Great Resignation" and "labor shortages" proving that people are tired of doing work for shit pay. There is only labor shortage in companies that don't pay well or treat employees terribly. Generationally speaking, it's impossible for this to continue, because the mindset of the people that are trying to control the whole system (boomers mostly) is not shared by Millennials or Gen Z. Younger generations care enough about other people and less so about money for the sake of money then ever before, and with that comes a shift in priorities. Especially when things like the environment and government corruption get worse: nobody is going to stand for it anymore in the younger generations, but it's also a matter of what do we want the new systems to look like, and what can we do to support each other in the meantime?

[@jamescanjuggle]

😅 i feel exactly like this, Im in ireland at the moment, cant afford to rent even with a job 3/4 euro above our minimum (thats hard to get) at full time. often when i go to the woods for camping i feel so refreshed, then the doom and gloom hits when i return to the city. i really dont think people were meant to live like this, but some people are adapting and theres people like us who cant adapt 😕 So yeah welcome to my Ted Talk: Go Live in the Woods

[@norfigrim]

I'm 31. It doesn't get any better when you get older and more sick.

[@snoozyq9576]

Ugh yes sounds like me. I'm just tired all the time and wanna be left alone. I am Squidward

[@AnymMusic]

I am not necessarily anti-work, but what I am against is anti-unfun living. Why should I bother working a shit job that I don't enjoy, that stresses me out in a bad way, that causes depression, just to make rent? Why should my mental health suffer for a third of my day, five days a week, just to make rent? I want to have fun, and if a job isn't fun, I'm not doing it. I feel like we still need to adjust to either shifting jobs very frequently (like once a year, if not more often), or become more freelance minded (no, not like the freelance millionaire hustle culture). Do a lot of shit, see what you enjoy, see what you don't. See what projects you enjoy taking on and which you don't and just keep doing that. And I hear some thinking, "just settle for a good paying job and stop complaining." No. I am a music producer, chances of my musical success are very slim, and I know that, however I want to keep being creative. I want constant change. I want to be fcking happy, and a miserable job that drains my energy and creativity in exchange for a lot of money won't do that. I would rather work 8 jobs for 5 hours a week each, than one job for 40 hours a wweek Do I want a lot of money, yes. Do I want to live in a nice house or penthouse, yes. But realistically, I'll be happier trying to get to that point whilst happy, rather than getting to that point whilst miserable

[@jthom0027]

I've found myself close to where you are. I don't require to "have fun" at work but I do require to be mentally stimulated by work and to not be screwed financially. I haven't been able to fix that second point but I will not take a job if its a monotonous waste of time. I need a challenge

[@kei7540]

Yeah life should be fun obviously we can't avoid suffering but working boring tedious jobs isn't the way

[@instantpug7036]

Good comment.

[@deadinside8781]

I'm in the same boat! My dream is to be a published author and it takes so much time, but I swear it requires more time because of how much I hate my job. I hate it a little more right now because I found out my boss thinks all women are whores for having sex, in general, because we're women and we can get pregnant. When I was younger I knew I'd be a "starving artist" and I was proud to be that, but in practice it's a bit hard. But I'm not even starving, I'm just stressed all the time because of work, because I really want to fulfill my dream (if I die without accomplishing it, I'm DEAD), because money will never be enough (no way you can save enough for retirement.) I just wanted to say I relate and it was nice to see someone else who understood a little.

[@JesuslsASamurai]

The only problem I have with your sentiment is that there is work that needs to be done in this world that is un-fun for anyone, or at the very least there isn't a high enough supply of people who find such work fun. I get the sentiment though for sure, when i was in my early 20s I had the same mentality about work and it led to me jumping from place to place and job to job. It took a realization for me that what makes work truly fulfilling is not whether it is fun or not, but whether it has purpose. I think that is the main issue people have with work, not that the jobs suck but that they suck for no reason. Workplaces definitely need to do a better job at creating healthy working environments in order for this perception to change, alongside massive economic changes to make working at grocery stores/fast food restaurants/other low wage labor etc actually livable and not just scraping by for rent. Until those two things start to change in workers favor, I think it will be very hard for people who don't see purpose in their work to see the value they contribute to society. I'm also heavily in favor of lowering the amount of hours needed to be worked in a week, that would also do wonders for making work a much healthier experience. We are told we live in a meritocracy but unfortunately we are far off from that in reality. Hopefully the world can shift economically to achieve this so that it can be easier for people to find purpose in any sort of work they do, rather than needing to find a job that is fun in order to live positive and meaningful lives.

[@kingjudusthememe8637]

One thing that annoys me is when people work a job they hate at a young age, then everyone around you calls you lazy when you don’t do the same, like a job automatically makes a person better than another even if that person hates it.

[@realglutenfree]

Its because the rich who make the politics got society convinced that not having a job means leeching off everyone else.

[@Omnihilo]

I've got even more fun news: Even when you work, it's still not good enough. *"You want a livable pay for doing 'x'?"* Yeah, actually. I'm "contributing" like you so desperately want people to, and I'm still not "worthy" to be paid enough to feed myself. Awesome. Those types of people aren't even worth the time it takes to argue with them.

[@MintyMeta]

My parents would do this, I quit my job to pursue a career in video games and I’m so much happier now

[@ttierced3613]

It’s still better to work a job you hate than not at all.. and not for the money aspect I mean just for personal growth and experience being around people

[@dakotasummers3143]

@@ttierced3613 the social experience you get from it is really good for sure. You learn how to deal with a lot of people, but there are so many downsides for people entering the workforce rn, I hope it gets better.

[@josephvlogsdon]

It’s especially difficult if you are someone with a creative or artistic temperament. For creative people, toiling away at meaningless work is like dying inside. Artists are willing to work hard, provided that they find the process to be meaningful.

[@Balloonbot]

Im an artist in the games industry and i felt the same after working in an office and a baking kitchen for even a little bit in my teens. I thought i'd rather die than do jobs like this forever - it was a huge motivating factor.

[@snailart14]

I'm an artist but I work full-time as a PCA because outside of commissions it's like, meaningful to help others in my world. I think if you can find meaning it helps.

[@jamescanjuggle]

for me i found i hit a jackpot, I basically stack things in a -18 freezer, on paper this is quite shite but my boss loves woodworking, and when he found out i love it too, suddenly im allowed to build tables during my lunch break its great

[@definitelynotnick2454]

I've been working as an freelance artist full-time since 2017, I was pushing carts before this. Let me tell you that not everything is sunshine and rainbows working as an artist, in fact there are some days where pushing carts sounds fun. When your passion/escape becomes your job, it's not easy when you are in burnout which is super common for freelancers.

[@felixthecat2786]

@@definitelynotnick2454 I'd trade lives with you any day of the week. Your worst day as an artist is still better than my best day in customer service.

[@ValeOfMuses]

After a couple semesters in a sociology minor, my operating theory is that younger generations are actually extremely hard workers - it just has to be worth it. If you need proof, look at people writing literal novels in fanfiction because they've been inspired, or turning any hobby they can learn into a business. We struggle with traditional employment because it isn't worth it - same with schoolwork and chores. If it's down to literal survival, it's worth it. But if you can't even make that bare minimum connection? It's not worth it. (I'm planning on proposing this as a research topic next spring. It'd be interesting to get even a basic survey of a single college's current undergrad class's thoughts on this subject. No idea how any of it will work, but I can try.)

[@regulusking4299]

As a younger generation myself. I can agree to this. It’s about motivation and something that I can connect too.

[@xenoliving3951]

In a word with increasing choice and education, the old options are constantly being reevaluated to see if they're still viable and competitive. When hurdles become unnecessary, it's masochistic to leave them in the path. (school debt, abusive workplaces, ect)

[@Olfan]

All the jobs need to be done, obviously the world still needs people to work the "crappy" jobs. A key difference between today and a few decades ago is that there's absolutely no comprehensible relation between people's wages anymore. When I was young (which was quite some time ago) it was easy to see that the big boss should have more income than the little worker because of all that responsibility and the need for seeing the big picture etc. pp. Today though? For one, there is no responsibility anymore. If you bugger up and get fired as a CEO, you get millions thrown after you for getting fired while thousands lose their jobs with no severance. And then there's the insane wage gap. What the hell can you possibly contribute to earn several thousand times the wage of your lowest underling? If there's enough money to shell out millions for executives but there's not enough to pay more than minimum wage for most everyone else, that's a big motivation killer. It also has become far more difficult to break that barrier. Getting "to the top" by putting yourself in there and working hard doesn't work anymore, execs are hired from outside, not promoted from inside. If I were young today, I wouldn't want to work as a crate pusher, either. It's not the young generation has gone to shit, the world has.

[@jeanpierreruiz6393]

For the surveys I hope you use hypothesis testing, that is statistics to show an actual trend on young people. You couod even make the case for other factors, like money, social perception, family, ethnicity. I wish you good luck.

[@justincaseofoblivion3326]

Interesting

[@mitthrawnuruodo1730]

The moment I stopped needing to know where I’m going is the moment I started moving forward. I’m 25yo male worked over 3 years at a dead end minimum wage job and finally I’m moving on to a better paying job while studying art in my free time. Also I was too comfortable, and while I enjoyed it I know it’s not sustainable. I’ll stay in low paying jobs for now but I’m moving forward.

[@raultamjid9725]

I'm a 19 year old dude and I hope I can pursue most of my other interests (music, math, etc) alongside my primary career interest (neuroscience).

[@TrangNguyen-cs6wv]

Best luck to you dude!

[@BigDrawManTheGoloid]

An Index fund may interest you, particularly if you are looking to pursue a hobby full-time that does not make you a lot of money.

[@ragemachinist]

Good for you man!

[@phantom.wreath]

Based

[@omegabruh673]

This man really knows how to say to your face that you dont know shit and still make you feel better. Genuinely amazes me

[@WanderTheNomad]

It's cause us pretending that we know shit is what's making us feel worse.

[@Flingftw]

I'm 27. Been a delivery driver for 5 years now. I've always hated it. Never had a job I enjoyed. Bosses hate me because I'm clumsy. I'm exhausted. I just want to find an IT job but interviews scare me like hell especially if I'm clueless about the job in question. I have really bad social anxiety.

[@JackCalvinRoss]

I know it's scary but the best way to learn how to crush interviews is by bombing interviews. Interviewing is its own game but once you understand the mechanics, just like any new video game, it gets more manageable and you get better each iteration. Best advice I can possibly give it to get an interview and know that you'll be anxious the whole time, know that you'll probably fail... but after that interview you'll know how to play the game and next time, you'll do better. Don't scare yourself and think you HAVE to succeed on your first try. The first time is only about learning. I went from cancelling introduction interviews because I was too anxious to being able to do live coding interviews without feeling nervous at all. Interviewing is its own skill and the more you fail at it, the better you get at it.

[@bruhdabones]

You’re right to be nervous about interviewing for jobs where you have zero knowledge of the field. You need that knowledge first, as someone else suggested getting a cert is a good starting point for IT. And as the other guy said, maybe interview for your ideal job at companies you don’t have any interest in. It’s ok if the interviews go badly, pick out the things you did well and the things that tripped you up and work on your weak points. It’s partially “exposure therapy” and mostly about learning and improvement. You can do this.

[@rudecat7918]

I'm 41 and have such extreme social phobias that I started seeking help and recently was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. I'm still learning about it but one of the big things is that we often don't excel at our jobs because we're scared of the social aspects of work :( I have an associates degree in IT and I've never used it cause I bombed my first interview, went back to school and got a bachelor's degree thinking that I would grow more and be more confident with my education, but I didn't. I am now in my 4th year of an entry-level position and only just received a promotion due to the position I'm working being dissolved. There were two positions that opened up recently, supervisor and a team lead, that I could have done really well, but I didn't even apply for them because I was scared of the interview process and the social responsibilities tied to those positions. Now I'm being managed by people half my age and that's another thing that I have to work on. It's not a fun position to be in knowing that you're holding yourself back :(

[@biggestouf]

Nothing wrong about being clueless about the about. As an IT person, the secret is knowing how to Google the skills that you need to know. The certifications will show that you have a standard of knowledge. That comes after the learning.

[@CaptTambo]

If it makes you more confident ... I had to do about 10 interviews before getting it down.

[@snoozyq9576]

Yes exactly! The sacrifice you make for work is absolutely not equal to the compensation. We give up our life, physical health, energy etc.

[@Just_B0red]

Assuming you live to 80-90 (if lucky) you spend 1/3 preparing and learning so you can work, then you spend 1/3 working, and by the time you can retire you spend last third waiting for death since your body can't do what you wanted to do when younger but when you had no time for it.. Truly a wonderful world we live in

[@chelseatomkowiak4207]

I used to feel stuck in my factory job that I had about 10 years ago. My mom worked at the same place, so I pictured myself working there forever. Tried going to college a few times, while working full time, but failed out of school every time (undiagnosed ADHD didn’t help 😂). What finally did end up helping was deciding that it’s ok to work this dead end factory job and supporting myself financially WHILE slowly taking one class at a time here or there to help me move up. Now I’m 29 and I’m almost done with an associates degree (I know, it took forever) but I was able to get better jobs along the way just from some of the classes I had taken, even if I hadn’t graduated yet. For example, about 7 years ago I took one phlebotomy class at my community college. From there I got a decent job working at a hospital as a phlebotomist. Then about 3 years ago I got an entry level job in IT due to the IT classes I’ve taken while pursuing my degree in software engineering (tech support, but it pays a lot better than my hospital job). Now that I’m one semester away from getting a degree in IT that would offer a tremendous pay raise, I’m considering starting my own business in a completely different field 😂 I guess the point is you can work a shitty dead end job while simultaneously working to better your life. It’s not an either/or situation. I literally took between 1-3 classes a semester, and sometimes went semesters without taking any classes. But it all builds up and most likely will pay off at some point, even if it’s 10, 15, 20 years in the future.

[@WanderTheNomad]

That gives me a second hand satisfaction reading that. Achieving several small steps is much better than achieving zero big steps.

[@GraveRave]

You're an inspiration!

[@MrKrusten]

I've been having this mindset for some time now. The past few years i've been feeling this pressure to finally get a degree or have a profession because around my age is where people "settle down" in a job. But for some time now i started thinking to myself "why the rush? If at the end of the road i arrive where i want to be, everything is fine, no matter how long it takes. And if i dont enjoy the journey to my destination, then im living a boring life and i need to change that first and foremost". It really helps to releave stress and shame.

[@overlnder9793]

I can definitely relate!

[@neasahayes6044]

You took a sensible and logical approach and it's worked for you. Who cares how long it took. 29 is not old.

[@Kaiser25]

From personal experience, co workers and supervisors can also make the experience way worse then it has any right to be

[@rmh691]

The opposite is also true, in that good supervisors and coworkers can make a crappy job tolerable

[@Mrawesome1908]

This reminds me of getting my first customer service job when I was 17 and thinking "holy cow, work is horrible, how am I gonna do this for the rest of my life?". It was the greatest motivator for me to go to and get through college and now I like my post-graduate job :)

[@realglutenfree]

But even with a degree you need to work and often you dont work much less than without a degree. I have a friend who studied pharmacy and now works 10 hours a day, sometimes more. Yes, she makes a ton of money but what for? To spend it when shes old and fibble? They have a nice house and nice furniture and she sometimes buys an expensive bag or something. So she basically just works herself to the grave just to live expensive and get arbitrary things. I just work like 3 days a week, sometimes a bit more. I dont make much but I dont need much anyway. Im just chilling, going on walks, playing video games and reading books. And if I want to I can work more to save some money for traveling and stuff.

[@Mrawesome1908]

@@realglutenfree just depends on your job ig. I work like 5-ish hr days remotely and make okay money. I wouldn't work 8 hr days 5 days a week for a big raise tho cuz fuck that

[@Handereli]

Glutrn free, if she is willing to work that much, it might be because she likes what she is doing, she is making a difference to people around, she knows what she is doing is worth is, "how she sees it" is the reason why she does what she does.

[@riki4644]

@@realglutenfree what is your job?

[@CycleOfJudges]

Either there was enough money for college during that time. Or it doesn't matter what job you got cause those loans are massive lol. I barely saw high school so it's not like I can judge much. But college is just not an option for a shit ton of people. Working full time at 15 means you're not likely to change the trajectory. You can only get shit jobs/ college is no option cause I have bills etc. 🤷 Anyway. Cool 👍 college and smart people shit lol. We're still pretty fucked down here though

[@tanner0397]

I've declined a lot of jobs because of personal ethics. I'm a data engineer and have a skill set that many big tech companies want for big data processing, but I've turned town every offer I've had for every big tech company that's contacted me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I helped make software used to collect information that's used to exploit people. But I can't blame others for doing that, if you gotta get the bag then you gotta get the bag. I am just lucky enough to be able to work somewhere where I don't have to go against what I think is right.

[@wen9548]

I like you

[@AmberyTear]

Mad respect.

[@Ash-nl1qi]

I’m tryna get into data science as well, any advice?

[@tanner0397]

​@@Ash-nl1qi I'd say try to learn Scala. Scala is the native language for Apache Spark which is a data processing framework. In my opinion, knowing spark and scala is a huge head start. I'd say 90% of all the messages I get on LinkedIn are because of my background in Scala and Spark.

[@fgjlshdkfgjh5132]

Thank you

[@milkyeti]

WOW. This came at the PERFECT time for me. I just had a breakdown yesterday about how I’m gonna work for the rest of my life, and I’m afraid that I’ll never “make it” to my dream career, or even a decent career, or that I’ll die before I get there and actually get to enjoy my life. Thank you Dr. K and to the person who posted this!

[@fweewain]

I'm 24, turning 25 this year. I worked my way up from getting paid $7.50 at my first job in high school to $20 at my last job. And I lost everything when covid hit. Now I'm working my way up again. Point is, there are gonna be setbacks. Hard days, months, even years. But one thing is for certain: you will absolutely fail if you don't try, if you don't keep pushing forward. Take your time. This isn't a 100 meter sprint, it's a marathon. You've got a long way to go, but that's okay. So do I. So does everyone. you're not alone.

[@MegaMultiRage]

this is some bright message , not common for the internet ,i like it

[@dannycat3970]

That was some healing stuff ty

[@jihadozakbar1237]

letsgo! im with you, 25 this year and still moving slow and steady as your own pacing

[@lucasgastondiez4080]

thank you freerain for this comment

[@phoenixmunro1992]

Thanks :)

[@AmberyTear]

I had jobs that made me feel awful my whole life. The one time I had a job that wasn't ruining my mental health, was a minimum wage job BUT I could work alone, rarely deal with people, it was quiet aka completely silent, it wasn't bright. My senses weren't constantly under attack. And turns out that's all I need from the job. It doesn't even have to be fulfilling, I just need sensory friendly workspace. But those are terribly hard to find nowadays.

[@mihooazuma9603]

What job are you working at now, I wish I could have job that don’t require too much human context, the last one I had have made my mental health go straight down for months even after I quit it

[@Sol36900]

You just clicked something inside me. When the pandemic hit I had to work from home. It was the greatest year. I no longer felt tired or irritated. I didn’t have to make fake talk or watch the clock counting the hours to when I would go home. Then, the first day they called us back in I returned home and took a 2 hour nap. I still felt tired after waking up. I’ve since worked part time but still having to go in office didn’t do my health any good. Then, this year both my body and mind broke down. I asked to work from home until I recover and was thankfully approved. Now I’m feeling better. I still have my setbacks but I realize for my kind of job working from home is the better option (I’m a data specialist). I’m not looking forward to going back in office.

[@AmberyTear]

@@mihooazuma9603 Right now I'm a housewife but I'll be looking for a job starting august and it's already stressing me out. This time instead of looking online, I'll go to many different workplaces in person to first find out how sensory friendly they are, make a list and try to be employed there even if I may have to wait a while for an opening.

[@AmberyTear]

@@Sol36900 oof I feel that. But I can't tell online if your issues are with your senses or with people or... Whatever it is, seems like you figured out a solution.

[@johnames1987]

I helped a middle-aged couple renovate their house recently in autumn. They let me stay with them, fed me, let me bring my dog (and fed and loved him too!), and kept telling me not to work so much. And they paid me very fairly. They obviously respected me. I knew why they needed the work doing, and so was very motivated to do good work and save them money. I am 35 years old now, working one way or another since 16. That was the best job I've ever had.

[@bigpickenergy5321]

This is good advice. 18 months ago I was deeply depressed, unemployed, burned thro all my savings and suffering serious suicidal ideation. Skip to now I've had 2 jobs since then. Left the prior one and took a pay cut as location was very far. got most of my savings back, work is super easy, exercising for 7 months and going to gym for last 3, have work friends, went skydiving, etc. Had somebody told me all this 18 months ago - I never would have believed. I know what the pit feels like. It's horrendous. When you're inside a fog, even the smallest one, all you see is fog, but it's never set in stone.

[@Jimbo-hw2rr]

Employers need to give more incentives for potential employees who will actually MAKE them money in the long term. It is often a big concern of big corporations for how much money is spent hiring new talent, training, and resources. A 'good' employee will be worth his/her weight in gold. I'm 30 years old have worked in lots of different industries, retail, tutoring, teaching, care industry, fast food, IT etc. I can tell you the job advertisements I see today are absolutely laughable to say the least. You have to have exceptional organizational skills, be competent in every computer program, possess in-depth knowledge/experience of the position (minimum 3 years), never take any sick days etc, you get the point. This is all while being paid 'minimum wage', maybe slightly above minimum wage if you're lucky. Are people just supposed to grin and bear that? Not for me, i'll turn my nose up at this frivolous shit any day of the week.

[@lethanglong6979]

Find that sht funny as well. Its simply reducing employees and increasing the salary they have to pay employees each month. The low level worker to medium level or wouldnt work for such ridiculous requirement + low salary, or couldnt get through and dumped straight out, while the high level to excel will get the slot in their companies but with an exceptionally high salary expected for them to stay with the company, only to leave for a better paid company

[@scrub3359]

I work in retail and all the managers have patches with the company logo that they can give out. Each patch is worth $10 so if you do extra work and tell a manager they will usually give you a patch. If you get a good review you get a patch. I think it’s a great way to motivate people to work extra.

[@Jazzmaster1992]

It may actually cost less to keep the door revolving, because while employee retention would theoretically pay off, new hires get paid less, are easier to mold/groom, and won't get benefits if they are only part time.

[@bf7592]

Dead end jobs aren't just dead end because they go nowhere, they're usually emotionally abusive as well and teach a lot of learned helplessness , so it's hard to maintain the confidence to actually see the options you have. Like every low wage job taken just seems to make your resume worse for having worked it.

[@osric729]

Exactly why I haven't even updated my resume or LinkedIn for the job I just started... pretty sure it'll actively harm more than an employment gap...

[@SourMoonBlues]

I'm 30 still working at a food service job. When you find the right spot, the money really isn't that bad. I am by no means rich, but I am getting by, while able to put a little in savings. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing is something that you are pursuing outside of work that fulfills you. I write music and play competitive fighting games. I'm also taking up boxing soon. Find something you can measure success outside of your job that is fun and fulfilling. Do I want to eventually move outside of the service industry? 100%. It wrecks your body pretty much, but it's not as bad of a living as some people think.

[@deadinside8781]

Oh I don't know. If I was still in food service I would have committed suicide for sure. It's hard to witness how bad people can be to each other and you just because of what happens to be your job. Because no one defends minimum wage workers. It's like we're free game, second class citizens. I wish all the health and happiness for you.

[@SourMoonBlues]

@@deadinside8781 Yea it really takes finding the right spot, but for some people, there is no right spot. Which is ok. It 100% isn't for everybody.

[@deadinside8781]

@@SourMoonBlues I have a theory that location is in a factor in how awful a clientele is at a fast food place. Not sure if it's the same for retail so I'm not putting it together. If you're appreciated and taken care of, plus enough time for you to enjoy life, any job is a good job.

[@fgregerfeaxcwfeffece]

Due to technology revolutionizing life with bat shit insane speed in the last 20 years I would argue that "normal" simply doesn't mean anything currently. I am only 32 and I remember a time where current technology was considered an outlandish science fantasy, not even science fiction. My current favorite example of this is Ironmouse interviewing Asmongold. Explain that Situation to someone in the 90s and they will tell you to not eat the red mushrooms with the white dots.

[@AA_21861]

Dr. K, thank you. I just handed in my notice this week and I was really upset, because it's a job I loved. But it also a job that burnt me out to the point where I couldn't get anything done. I'm leaving depressed at not utilising half the opportunities I had been given. I spent 10 years at this job and left with an average (or slightly below average) performance because I kept getting burnt out. But listening to you has given me hope again. "One step at a time" is what has always worked for me and I realise I've failed most often when I ignored this advice. I'll be going back to this and starting again. Thank you so much once more.

[@Jazzmaster1992]

I had a lot of people tell me I should think about leaving a job I was being treated poorly at, up until I resigned and walked out a week ago, having been there almost 8 years. I really tried to "ride" out a series of rough patches the business was having, thinking it would pay off for me in the end. It didn't. Every little problem the place had, was blamed on me. I was put through the ringer and treated like a dog, and never truly appreciated by the people above me. What really stood out to me though, was my therapist who I'd been talking to about this for months. I told her I didn't mind having a job I didn't hate, that paid the bills, and she said my standards must be pretty low. She said most people in my position would have jumped ship a long time ago (not her exact words, but the gist). Her along with all of the employees around me sort of suggesting I had something better waiting for me out there if I left, and that I wasn't being treated well to justify staying, was the writing on the wall. Of course, I had to be the last one to truly realize it. But that's how it seems to go when you've invested emotionally in something for so long.

[@BriantWebster]

godspeed on your new journey

[@Nick_Taylor.]

Great share! Have you ever heard of the "happy ending fantasy," which Dr. David Grudermeyer wrote about in Sensible Self-Help?

[@questionablemarks5148]

Holy man I’m stuck with a job I don’t hate it buts so mentally draining and taxing. I’m a case consultant, I have to be empathetic all day. The nature of the calls and knowing 9/10 times the people desperately need help only for me to tell them that we can’t really messes with me outside of work. I’ve had 4 people tell me they would off themselves if we aren’t able to help them whilst in call. Every day you are expected to at least get 3 calls that can range upto An hour in which these individuals would verbally abuse you as much as they want. We aren’t able to end the calls due to policy. I’m struggling mentally with this job but it pays decent and they aren’t much jobs here so I’m really screwed.

[@sergioorozco1087]

Look for other jobs anyway, assuming you arent already. It could take quite a bit of time but its worth a try. Obviously you don't have to instantly quit your current job the moment a new opportunity MIGHT come through but yea just my 2 cents, best of luck

[@fishstyx5028]

That suuucks man. Do you have a good support system? That job clearly needs a lot of mental fortitude and you'll just let people infect you with despair if you don't have a strong foundation. it sounds like it also isn't sustainable for a very long time, exchanging your emotional stability for higher pay is often not entirely worth it

[@questionablemarks5148]

@@fishstyx5028 I do not, I had before I’m just tanking everything at the moment. I talk to my mom sometimes about it- but I actively try my absolute best not to remember anything at work. It’s uuuber stressful I’m restricted in the way how I speak(not able to provide legal advice or anything that can be misconstrued as it) everything is being recorded. I can’t give hypotheticalls neither. People tell me god awful stuff but I know 100% I’d have to tell them no due to their monetary loss.

[@questionablemarks5148]

I’ve had been prescribed an like relaxing medication(?) I don’t remember the name but stopped taking it due to it affecting me at work. Just lethargic all day- even when I take it the night before like 3 hours before sleeping. But ranting like this helps so thanks :)

[@BlckPollen]

Hire a sadist to do your job for you

[@Matthew_Murray]

The discussion of humans having to work for survival is true, but the difference when compared to modern society is back then if you were a farmer, hunter, or whatever when you were done with work you were done whether it took 2hrs or 10hrs. Nowadays people are expected to work 8hrs everyday 40hrs a week regardless of what they do and I think overall we probably work way more in terms of time spent then people did in the past and I don’t think humans are wired to be constantly working.

[@pogo8050]

Yup. And also you worked where you lived. What you did for chores wasn’t this insanely regimented service where you stand around giving stuff out to strangers all day. If you’ve ever renovated a house, helped friends moved or for that matter lived in a commune you’d see how much more social acumen you get and how much more fulfilling life is. Now we could all of course go live in communes of the grid, but that’s a massive life investment as well.

[@Just_B0red]

Not to mention that majority of jobs don't even need close to that 8h/day majority of it is being there " if something needs to be done at x o'clock" or "x decides to come near end of the shift"

[@endybendy5699]

I just turned 37 and I just now got a job that both pays decently and is rewarding. For YEARS I felt stuck in these crappy low paying low satisfaction jobs because my 'gap year' turned into a gap...decade.

[@cpt.zangscarlet1898]

I feel that man. I believe your 20s are more of a period of growing into an adult than your teens. I was definitely still a "kid" at 25. Now 32 and am finally feeling like I'm growing up a little. Having a decent job and supporting yourself is only part of the equation.

[@bwatson77]

Sadly, the default type of employment for those without access to social and financial capital tends to be exploitative in nature, and this is a feature rather than a bug due to entrenched power imbalances of the system we're currently living under. Which is why it's been heartening to see the beginnings of a revitalized labor movement here in the States which is pushing for Unionization.

[@SirBojo4]

It's the nature of things. Unless you want another 100 millions death...ˢᵃʳᶜᵃˢᵐ

[@burnonedown09]

don't worry, the corporate elites will crush unionists too

[@lunarthief6501]

I feel like this issues is only made worse by how the job market seems to work. Loyalty isn't rewarded, generally you are better off changing jobs every few years if you want to increase your earning. While potential earnings isnt everything it does help especially when you work to support your outside of work life.

[@nicholassaephanh4407]

im going to be honest with you, its not even a few years anymore, the future is selling attained skills and if i was trained to do something for 3 MONTHS at one job, i can offer that skill as value to another. Only people stuck in the past look at resumes and say "oh you only did this for ONE YEAR?" its getting to the point now where we are vetting for jobs at much higher standards at the highend and much lower standards at the bottom end. Its such a weird thing to see but one day (hopefully) all jobs will require a much higher standard of skills, but there will also be a mass push for built in education for those roles. Thats my prediction anyways. If the world doesnt end in nuclear fall out or climate disaster. Unfortunately I'm betting on mother earth to wipe us all out before we get that far, but who knows, like Dr. K said, no one can predict the future.

[@tatianannar1065]

Even every few months while you're young 🤣

[@Astro2024]

Here's a dilemma: when you have depression and anxiety and you're working a job you hate, how do you fake it to do well at work? The effect of the abuse I experienced as a kid has affected my ability to socialize and make choices that led to my current career(which I am stuck in for at least another year).

[@stevenc2149]

the best idea I've found is switching jobs to a place that's actually meaningful to you somehow. maybe start with just a few hours a week volunteering in the field you deem worthy of your time? you also need a routine in your life outside of work to focus on other tasks rather than making up stuff as you go stay strong, find your calling, good luck

[@cygnus_XI]

I'm pretty young and work in retail, and have really bad anxiety and struggle with my mood constantly. The way I cope with it is by inventing a sort of 'character' that I play whenever I put on my work uniform. This character is super bubbly, happy, and friendly, and I force myself to sort of method act into it. My sad self at home is put aside as I try to basically act as this made up person I'm pretending to be. And thankfully everyone seems to love me, and I get really good surveys, which my DM really likes!

[@stevenc2149]

@@cygnus_XI its not fake it till you make it, its act real until you remember

[@TarkMcCoy]

As the Irish saying goes, "You won't have work forever. Just the rest of your life."

[@theliondoge]

I absolutely love how you are able to tell a person's thought process of a person just from a short Reddit post and explain it to us, it's feels like you are in their brain.

[@MiketheNerdRanger]

I thought by not having a full time job by now meant I was doing something wrong. Now I know it means I'm dodging a bullet. I'm fortunate enough to have space and time to work things out for myself. I never want a life where I'm stuck in soul crushing monotony, I want to be fulfilled and content with my working life, live on *my* terms, and if I can help it, I'll do what I must to achieve it.

[@sebastianbraun8527]

I felt the same way when I was finishing school. I could never have imagined myself working in a typical 40h/week office job. Then in my studies I discovered a really cool local startup and now I am working there 30h/week. It is not the most money, but I really enjoy the work and have enough free time (even more than in my studies) and I am pretty happy.

[@KHFreak741]

I’m 23 years old and dropped out of college when I was 19 in my sophomore year due to my bipolar II and severe anxiety depression panic disorder so I fell into drugs because I fell into that trap that is thinking “if the psychiatrist can’t fix me I can fix myself” and of course that is never the case. I ended up finding a psychiatrist and therapist who were able to help me when I started getting really serious about it after Reckful’s death. It took a while to find a good therapist but there are some out there. Fast forward to now, I’m clean and while I am working a dead end job to pay bills, after all the therapy sessions and forcing myself to go to them even though they were online and I could just bail on them I ended up finding out what my passion is and found a job related to that field and now I’m taking courses for a trade school in automation and manual testing and almost finished with my courses. I thought life was pretty much over for me but if you don’t give up and keep trying, with time things will always get better and that’s something I’ve learned although I’m not completely mentally stable and I still have my moments but I’m better than I was before. Never give up guys!

[@Kalitayy]

Working a full-time job is a fate worse than being pressed by multiple boulders

[@Strider1Wilco]

I'm scared. I'm so scared I'll be stuck on a job and I won't be able to get training for another job because I'll be home and tired after working full time all year round. I want a better job!!!

[@SirBojo4]

My advice would be to find appropriate resources to help yourself and someone to discuss your worries.

[@lainiwakura6903]

the only thing that makes my temporary part-time job that I have to do full-time bearable is that I can listen to such videos through all my shift

[@lainiwakura6903]

but jeez if my job would have paid more I'd have just work less to spend more time developing the prerequisites for working at a field that satisfies me, even if it pays the same. I don't think mind-numbing (not in my case thankfully) menial activities should be evaluated at the same scale as actual contributions in a form of developing technological substitutions for the same activities, I mean that's just unfair to request more for a low output. no communism/bodypositive/neurodivergence or whatever can fix the fact that people get what they give in terms of time, intellectual effort and commitment, even if the starting points are not something of their choice or responsibility

[@monicajeyachandran802]

Thanks!

[@maryannschumacher1370]

"What disincentivizes people from working is that what you put in and what you get out doesn't match." Well said!! And, may I add that this applies to ALL age groups -- not unique to just young folks. 👍

[@Balloonbot]

So a good thing about working "crappy jobs" when you're young is the increased work ethic you get when you're older. Im lucky in the sense out of Uni i was generally on a path to my career - but i was still complacent, and lacked soft skills which got me in trouble. I realised a lot of the other younger people did small jobs at uni or younger and they were much better with organising, following tasks, and focusing than i was. They also appreciated the job more. I'd often think about where this will get me in the future rather they knew they had it good due to what the alternative was it humbled them. Took me a while to pick that up through the actual jobs i was working, slower than others though i feel.

[@happythoughts4977]

It's not lazy to avoid working without reward.

[@Logtut]

The entire time I've been listening to this video while at my crappy job. The literal last thing you said in this video filled me with a firey determination. Think I'm going to quit to capitalize on my art and animation skills

[@leifdux7277]

Before getting a full-time job, my focus was to get into a company to have food on my plate. But now, after working for 3 years in IT and as a 26 year old, I realize that this too is like death to your soul especially if you do not have much affinity towards it. Money starts to have less importance and now it becomes the survival of your dreams!

[@SuperMonkey221]

My issue is a little different. I just finished my master degree, and I currently have a summer job and I am looking for a full time job. I don't have much experience outside of an internship and this summer job (both are relevant to my degree). The jobs themselves are fine and all, not dead end per say. However, I am really struggling with adapting to the schedule. For me, 8 hours is just too much per day. Even if the job is interesting. It sucks my energy and I don't feel like I have enough spare time. I got a B on my thesis (graded A - F) while working max 5 hours a day. After 5 hours, it slows down, I lose some motivation, and instead of grinding further and pushing through some more hours, I just simply stopped working for the day, went home, recharged, did my hobbies and went back to work the next day. To me this proves that I really don't need 8 hours a day to get the work done. I am often just sitting around not doing much at work, because either A, I am done with most of the work already or B, I work too long so it sucks motivation out of me. Now that I am going into the worklife, I finally will have some money, but I don't really care about the money much because of how little spare time I feel like I have. Also needing to be at work before 9, means I have to go to bed really early (I need closer to 9 hours of sleep) which means my spare time is much shorter that someone who needs more like 8 to 7 hours. The sleep schedule just doesn't work for me, especially now that the just doesn't go down untill after 11pm here in the north.

[@seiwarriors]

Most people have 4 hours of productivity on single subject and then the motivation and the productivity declines.

[@kellybastow1596]

I appreciate doctor K a lot but these messages don't help much. The prices of everything are skyrocketing; rent, food, gas. In our parents generation they could buy a house for like 50k. Since then, minimum wage has barely budged. The despair and hopelessness many young people are experiencing comes from knowing they will probably never own a home, and have to work shit jobs they hate, their whole life, to make a few CEOs even richer. If you don't want to participate in this system you could end up homeless, bankrupt, or in deeper depression. Everything seems fundamentally bleak. All we can hope for is UBI and more unions, and just try to make it to the next day. The most valuable currency is time, and we are fucking it away at unfulfilling jobs, just to pay rent and eat. A lot of my friends who went to college to try to get a good career and get ahead are now drowning in student debt. We should be mindful of our internet diets and try to stay positive but yeah, it sucks.

[@riki4644]

Copium

[@jbomb7867]

Using a ladder as an example of something you can order online is so perfect. Working a long and rough stretch at work right now. Thank you I needed this video today.

[@eggjewla]

Please redo this one but for adults who are genuinely stuck in their careers lol

[@infinitecurlie]

(Long comment about my time in the Navy. Just note there's a lot more that goes into the Navy and how things work and this is far from being comprehensive.) Reminds me when I was in the Navy until last year. You can work 100+ hours a week easily but you'll always be paid as if you're working X amount of hours based on your rank. When I was on a ship, there were many times where you'd stand a watch (basically you just stand around for x amount of hours but it differs depending on your job) from say 0200-0700 and guess what? You aren't sleeping or going home after that. You're working the entire workday until it's done at 1600...if you're lucky. On deployment, you can get paid more, sea pay, family separation pay, possible hazardous duty pay. But what comes with that is separation from your friends, family, and home for 6+ months, possibility of coming home and turning right back around for another deployment, going to places where you can get killed, etc. (And also your life and any friendship outside of the Navy are probably going to be in complete shambles eventually especially if your social relationships are with people who don't understand military life. I can't even tell you how many people got cheated on, divorced, etc on deployment.) You're also expected to be able to do your job, work that comes with your rank, extra duties related to your job called collateral duties, volunteer in the community, go to college, do work outside of your usual job, and be involved in the command such as the diversity committee that hosts celebrations every month for whatever the month is celebrating (like women's history month, etc). And if you don't do these things? When it comes to your yearly evaluation you get people who turn your nose up at you or you get ranked lower than others, which means you probably won't pick up the next rank because you didn't do absolutely everything. Depending on your job this can be devastating, as a corpsman you'll see like a thousand people took the test (It's like a giant final except let's say your job was a dental assistant, well on that test there's also questions about pharmacy, x ray, laboratory, etc and maybe you'll get a handful of dental questions.) But maybe 100 people advanced. It's not enough to just pass the test, there's a score that you have to meet and even if you miss it by less than a point you aren't going to advance. (And then after results come out you have to print out your result and give it to your supervisors who then give you a pep talk or take a torch to you or do both.) And even with all of this? There's still active duty personnel who are on food stamps and other government assistance programs. And people who moonlight (take a second job) because either they can't survive on what the Navy is giving them or the job they have in the Navy isn't going to transfer outside of the Navy. (Changing your job depends on your current job, the number of people in the job you're looking at, what zone you're in by what year you joined, if they're looking for new people, being accepted, and etc. It can be extremely difficult or impossible to change your job.) You take all of this into consideration, more, and also bad leadership, policies, etc. And you see why people join and then they get out after their first enlistment. Or you see how there will be news articles with people outside and inside the military wondering why the military is having an extremely difficult time recruiting or keeping young people in. Getting out of the Navy was the best decision I ever made for myself. I'm surprised that I lasted 6 years. I understand the...appeal of the military and that some people really enjoy the life but for me it wasn't worth it for the long haul.

[@chitchat1212]

Idk how I stumbled upon this channel but I’m glad I did. I love these topics and perspective.

[@niallblackburn8160]

The ending of this video made me feel somewhat optimistic. Who knows. Maybe one day there will be a Dr K voice assistant who will teach you how to self regulate and defeat Elden Ring bosses

[@clearquartz1677]

Once upon a time we believed that anyone who dedicated their time a job deserved a dignified life, which is why employers paid their employees living wages regardless of the job title. Now we judge people based on their kind of job, because dedicating your time to a customer service job makes you less worthy of a dignified life than someone with the same work ethic and dedication who works in tech. Idk about others but I recognize the value of service jobs that people assume are low skill stepping stones (I hope one day those people meet actual skilled service workers so they can understand the difference) and I would love for people working these jobs to be treated with respect and given dignified lives. If you want to use a job as a training ground for developing personal values that honestly should have been imparted during school, there’s always internships and volunteer work. We don’t have to devalue humans or any line of work to the point where we deny them a dignified life in exchange for their work.

[@Robert08010]

Boy did you say a mouthful. I got suspended from a job I hated so much, I was honestly worried they would keep me on. I am a very smart person and I know that job was VERY hard. Due to dyslexia, I was not successful in that position but I know anyone who is successful in that role, deserves about 3x what they are currently being paid.

[@sophdog2564]

"Avoid black and white thinking" "Play chess with your life" I love the chess metaphor but this made me laugh

[@Peppermon22]

I am 31 and I can not get out of crappy jobs. I work in the food industry. I have two degrees in restaurant management and baking. Any time I try to get out and find a better job I am told “you only know how to cook”. How am I supposed to break out when that’s their logic! My degrees are shit! I’ve even lied and called them business degrees on resumes and no one will call me back. I feel the need to lie about my employment.

[@SurrealisticSlumbers]

Hey, fellow food worker... I'm currently back in the restaurant biz as a college-educated 30 year-old (having worked BOH many years ago, and now a hostess / server as of May). If I were you, I would play up the management aspect of your credentials on your resume. I have noticed a lot of employers seem to want really specific credentials for jobs these days, and that if you can use buzzwords and show on your resume or on a cover letter that you have transferable skills, you have at least a shot at getting an interview. And if a company can't recognize your intelligence and work ethic, that's their loss.

[@bluehairedaigaming]

Business degrees are shit. They might as well be.

[@chxngii2382]

watching healthygamer videos def reduces anxiety just by the act of watching

[@andrei.dumitrache]

I believe corporate work (usually office jobs) is just a transition because humans are not meant to waste 8h of their day sitting and writing on a keyboard or being in useless meetings. I think this type of job will eventually fade away or change drastically (towards having more free time or doing more engaging things). I can say that most of the work you do in a company is not always needed (I think the 80/20 rule can be applied here, where 20% of the work you do actually matters), so the way I got through this day to day useless work was to find motivation in some future project and keep tight discipline about everything related to work.

[@andih6658]

After doing care work/heavy lifting work. From 17-28 When i got my desk job in.august i cant think of anything better. I can use a bathroom whenever i want i get a lunch break as well. 🎉

[@Robert08010]

You might be surprised... That 80/20 thing may appear true but sometimes you have to try a lot of stuff before you find the right process what works. About the only thing completely useless in corporations are these management fads and the HR people who push/support them. We waste so much energy on these fads, its scary.

[@aurora4218]

It's worth noting that subsistence farming was very seasonal, so during times with less to do working the land, people would do the crafting side of subsistence (making/mending tools, clothing, containers, etc) which was more conducive to using creativity.

[@boggy7665]

And they were around people they knew and liked and loved, or at least tolerated enough to understand and manage. This gave meaning. In the modern corporate world, where you go to solitary existence at the end of the day, at best you need to stand off of your coworkers lest they spread nasty gossip to people who don't know you well but who you need for sponsorship and advancement... this adds a jillion more stresses w/o positives.

[@LFanimes333]

My man K really spent half an hour just to say the most beautifully articulated “get out of Reddit and find another job” in the history of mankind.

[@andrewgodly5739]

What a wonderful world we live in. We make sure our youth is burnt out and living in existential despair, wasting away time they'll never get back. All for the off chance some boomer chokes to death on a hotdog and leaves a decent position open for everyone and their dog to compete for

[@Just_B0red]

Imagine if Baby Boomers were in their 20s now, oh boy would that be wild, I'd pay to see that

[@HettesKvek]

I'm a machinist. I have to be around aerosolized coolant for 56+ hours a week. I will probably develop some sort of lung infection/disease in the future. I could leave, but I would be leaving the most well paying job I've ever had. I have a history of leaving jobs after a short stint for xyz reasons. The longest job I've ever held, was two years. After getting this most recent machinist position, my mom was bragging to everyone about me getting paid $26/hr. If I stay, I will die early, but at least my family will be proud of me for finally getting a good paying job and staying there. If I leave, I will live longer, but I will probably be disowned. Life is great, ain't it?

[@linahol6067]

I'm a female Cambodian, currently studying Industrial Industrial Machining Associate degree. Would you recommend this type of job? Does this job have to work longer hours? What are pro and cons? Please give me an insight.

[@HettesKvek]

@@linahol6067 : Pros: Decent pay. The wage is more than average, but less than a STEM job. The work itself is not too complicated. Pretty much anyone can do it as long as they pay attention. Cons: Can be dangerous. You are working with heavy things that spin really fast. If you are not paying attention, you can lose a finger or worse. The long term exposure to aerosolized coolant is also probably not good for your health. The hours are average, but you might work over time if the company is cheap and doesn't want to hire more people, or if the company suddenly gets a large job. Good luck!

[@wecx2375]

Wear a respirator.

[@candybracelets]

When I was 21 I worked in a crappy discount supermarket for a couple of months and it was absolute hell. It was an invaluable experience in how awful my future could be if I didn't change things though. I've been self employed for over a decade since that job, but every day the memory of how much it sucked there still motivates me to get up and work my ass off to make sure I never have to go back to a retail job again. My time there gave me the drive I needed to succeed, and for that I will always be thankful.

[@JS-ly7rq]

It's never to late, btw! I'm 25 trying to get into the IT department in my current company and I've talked with so many people in their 40s and 50s who are just getting into it and they appreciate giving a younger fellow like myself advice about transitioning from a field worker area of focus.

[@GraveRave]

You're an inspiration. I'm ashamed to say this but I've spent a total of 7 years at this retail job due to the fact I lack of focus (depression will do that), discipline and self doubt. I started back in 2015 and turning 35 next month. It's so depressing working there that KZbin has become a false Haven of distraction for me, but I so want to leave this year and get work as a UI Designer.

[@ASMRKlotz]

I'm 37 and still have no clue what I am doing with my life and have been living on less than $1,000 a month for probably over 6+ years now. I have worked a lot of what I consider "dead end" jobs or jobs that ultimately just depressed me and made me not want to be alive. I have also tried several different things to work for myself. I currently spent the last two years trying to be an online reseller (buying stuff at places like yard sales and thrift stores and selling them online for a profit). I still can't find any job or source of income that I actually care about or find any sense of purpose in.

[@mitchohristov4937]

I love my field (education) but it pays low or if it pays high it's coz you're expected to be on a conveyer belt and meet quotas rather than help shape young human beings. The job I loved most was 50:50 admin work and interaction with young learners. But I was getting less than a supermarket cashier. And a cashier's job requirements don't list university diploma, C1 English, computer skills, customer service skills and preferred teaching/coaching experience with young learners... Kept it through the lockdowns because it was a paying job and so many people had lost their income. Then went on a conveyer belt teaching job and worked overtime from day one... Hopefully after I get my MA in 2 years, better options will cross my horizon. But it's definitely still going to be in education - the field and the people in it are great.

[@melissaamilibia2950]

Nailed it. We are not lazy, we are less tolerant than generations passed.

[@real.mariam]

This speaks to me so much. Thank you.

[@Moose92411]

I LOVE the chess analogy! Every choice we make is just a move in a very big, very complex game. It can be difficult to accept and understand that no one move wins or loses a game. The result of the game is an amalgamation of all the moves we and our opponents make for the entirety of the game.

[@Yaromoor]

This was just what I needed. Thank you so much Dr.K 🙂

[@Hi_lm_V]

The best decision I made was not going to college and work for someone else. I used all that time to build my own business and now I make more money than I need and I have control over everything that happens with my business.

[@duncanbug]

What kind of business did you end up doing? I have college regrets but the routine of being an employee seems to help me a lot.

[@4xzx4]

What is your business?

[@thrpotatoasfgfejfidieiidkr7071]

@@4xzx4hope we get an answer

[@ileutur6863]

@@thrpotatoasfgfejfidieiidkr7071 Daddy's money. Not to sound overly cynical, but the people who start their own business at a young age have wealthy parents. A business costs insane money to even get off the ground and break even

[@stinkmonger]

the thing Dr. K doesn't take into account is that at least when work was almost entirely about subsistence, there was a direct correlation between the effort you put in and the fruits of your labor. you sow the fields and reap the harvest. nowadays, the despair workers feel has everything to do with the fact that we don't own our work. we produce fabulous wealth for our bosses and have to beg for whatever scraps they feel like giving. it isn't just some kind of new-fangled phenomenon that people want to be able to work for their own benefit, and not that of robber-barons. we don't want to be wage slaves.

[@ursteamfriend]

Like most people I had to work retail or food service jobs when I was younger. Due to COVID and financial struggles I dropped out of college and thought my life was over and I'd be doomed to work jobs like that. At first I did but I decided one day I had enough and bit the bullet and devoted myself to finding something I enjoy despite dropping out of college. I'm now working as an animal care specialist and I've never been happier. To whoever needs to read this; don't give up, seriously. You WILL find something that's fulfilling.

[@saddestdayever1276]

Thank you very much for this video! I really needed to see this today!

[@frishter]

I've had the feeling that working will be unfulfilling and lead to being unhappy. It ended up with me not progressing in life. Although who knows whether I could or couldn't manage, but I should've really done something instead of avoid it.

[@fellaette]

I have to say I actually in highendsight appreciate the crappy jobs I had. Especially the experience with difficult customers etc. It's very valuable experience and every job not matter how prestigious or enviable has its mundacities.

[@ulysses7157]

"Will I be stuck at a crappy job forever?" Me: "........ You guys are getting jobs?"

[@xpirate16]

I see this guy worrying at 18 and I'm sitting here at 34 like "Kid, you don't know the half of it." haha

[@drchtct]

I like the chess analogy. I'm 25, just finished my master's in management at one of the best universities in Europe. But I have a) this pressure to land that first big job to not drown in mediocricy, and b) the paralysis of not acting because there are so many options. There are thousands of jobs and paths for business graduates, the internet and remote work doesn't just let you choose the industry or job title, no it even opens up geographically, what country, what city even to work in? And then you hear about all these depressed mid-late 20s who started their careers and hate their jobs. So you rethink a bit deeper, "is that the ONE job that won't make me miserable?". Which is stupid because you need to try and learn and adapt and change jobs to find one that's best for you at a stage of your life. But as you said, when you move the first piece on the chessboard, you get one step closer to winning but also one step closer to losing.

[@kjkj4725]

Well… I managed to get out from crappy jobs. Now I work in my profession - it’s been 2 years in a “good job”… And eternal suffering is back. I can’t do that for the rest of my life…

[@AnAwakenedPanda]

It really is dependent on how you vibe with the job too. I had a job at a fast food restaurant that I basically hated, but my job at a theater venue was a lot more fun and payed more. Looking back, very happy I split my hours because I really didn't like working with food and rude people. concert goers are all so chill and wanna have a good time, not ask for the manager because you asked for no cheese on your panini.

[@shawnemployee6906]

I started having these thoughts early 2017. Best advice is to understand the power of the internet and content. You learn how to produce content for yourself or other people and how to use the power of the internet and youll be good.

[@lucidberrypro]

The part where you said "You hear this story from people who are in their 30s or 40s" JUST put this in perspective for me. My mom has had one career my whole childhood, and she came home exhausted and miserable. I was so scared that was going to be my life, and I still am. But at 28 years old, I've had four career changes in the last ten years without graduating from a college or university. I'm gradually shedding the doom and gloom mentality of being stuck in a job I hate "for the rest of my life" by realizing that it's normal to change jobs until you find the right one for you. I remember the days where that was actually encouraged. A lot of the time I feel like only people with supportive families get to go the route where they can safely dip their toe in everything... but eventually you'll get there too. You'll definitely have to endure sometimes for longer than you want to, but if there's another job to be had, it'll be yours. Like I've heard a lot of people say over the years, "If you're still alive, then you're not done". For right now, this sentiment is what keeps me pushing on.

[@cledosliop4175]

This is so so insightful and helpful. Thanks for your sharing.

[@misspat7555]

As a fellow oldest-millennial, my advice to young people trying to survive in the world we have out here is to take time to take care of yourself. Nobody else will encourage you to do this; you must do it yourself. Take a walk, take a nap, socialize, talk to someone you trust (not the same as socializing), eat something healthy, drink water, actually get enough sleep; these are the things that will keep you from totally breaking down in a world designed to use us up, then kick us to the curb. The point made here; to just make the best move today that you are able/know how to; is so true. I never would have predicted a bunch of the things that have happened in my life to date 5 or 10 years before they happened. The 2 big rules is that more money is always helpful and nobody gets out of here alive. So chase those dreams and live while you’re alive. 😊👍❤️

[@CidsaDragoon]

Really the problem is we dissolved a lot of our social institutions and people are working jobs that don't matter. It's hard to not feel despair when your neighbors don't give a crap about your existence and all you do all day is push paper around.

[@davesturgeon6013]

Im 35 yo. College diploma, and I love what i do. But I can't find an employer I'm happy with. My trade is full of people i can't stand. My bosses are always these arrogant, money hungry, pricks that treat their employees like crap. I'm stuck in a toxic workplace right now, causing serious mental health issues... I've been looking for another place to work but the damage done isn't getting better. I'm not sure what I can do, I'm at a loss.

[@cookiechris99]

I'm over 30 and work a factory job in a small town. Evwn with college a move would be needed to get out. Hardest part is the co workers lack of intelligence. It sucks but I fear I'll be doing this forever like the rest of my family

[@e5m956]

And there's nothing wrong with that...

[@hoangle2483]

@@e5m956 If recession happens and the company decides to shutdown his factory, firing people then theres a big problem.

[@iyxon]

A proper political + economic analysis of this question is adressed in David Graeber's book "Bullshit Jobs". Highly, HIGHLY reccomend this read. Will change your perception of how even our understanding of time itself has been warped by modern era changes in the political economy.

[@ccaagg]

Yep. Lots of the comments here are sentiments explicitly addressed by Graeber, like being unable to dedicate themselves to something with no real value. If you're in this comments section and want the status quo to change, start reading and spreading those ideas, even if it's just among people close to you. The reason people believe we're stuck like this - that this is the best system - is that they don't see how many others also want a change. They assume that there have to be good reasons that everyone apparently accepts this, so they should accept it to. But they don't realise that pretty much everyone bar the ruling class has that exact same reasoning. BS Jobs is probably the single best book to spread the word about to get people questioning whether things could be better. Even people on the political right tend to agree it's a sensible reflection of the current state of work, not seeing it as 'socialist' or anything of the sort. A better world is possible. It is clearly indicative of a problem with our society when automation replacing jobs - meaning there's _less_ total work that we _need_ to do - is something that terrifies us. We must escape the post-industrial American cult of labour.

[@_vofy]

A lifetime is one thing. The chunk of it when you're young and beautiful is another.

[@sydneyalexander7398]

Dr K hitting us with the capitalism talk without saying the word capitalism once.

[@FalseOrbit]

I went to tech school and college and became an engineer, I'm 25 and I was only an engineer for 3 months before the company moved to California. I couldn't find work anymore because nobody will hire you even if you meet all the requirements. A couple years later and I'm disabled with lymes disease but I make more money than I ever have working at home on my own schedule. Minimum wage jobs aren't worth it if you're able to find something online that suits you. I will never work a public job again if ever given the opportunity, it's a hell hole I'll never go back to. Food and retail almost drove me to suicide and it's not worth it. If you are able to, please consider finding a job online or at least do what you can to make yourself happy, even if it's a different minimum wage job

[@dreamingacacia]

to walk the road less travel is to draw the flame from others. But once you endured those flame enough and starting to see some light in your path, doubts will starting to fade.

[@jasontoddchampion]

"You're going to spend less time on the internet because you have a life that's worth living." Nice.

[@ItsAsparageese]

> Unproductive members of society > Mentions homelessness Just putting it out there that around 60% of us unhoused people in most major US cities are either working full-time or have done so within the past year, at any given time. (Fuzzy number based on a few different surveys in different cities with slightly different parameters landing on similar averages; this is obviously a very fluctuating thing, and I am squishing together a broad array of info over years of my relevant study/work.) For my part, I've paid a lot more income tax into the system at this point from working-while-unhoused than I did during periods of time I was housed, lol. I know Dr. K was totally mentioning us in passing and he didn't actually directly imply that all unhoused people are unproductive members of society! Rather, in context, he was totally just naming examples of groups that people _perceive_ that way. But this seemed like a reasonable opportunity to pipe up and spread this information, since we are typically egregiously mischaracterized by most of the public. Remember, people ... homeless individuals don't wear signs/tags so you can identify us when we're washed up and in our work clothes. ;) Thousands of us are doing essential work around you all the time. Please try to keep in mind that you never notice the ones who don't stand out. (And back on the topic of the video ... If anyone needs the reminder, fyi, you don't have to live the way society expects you to live. Part of why my homelessness has been prolonged is my unwillingness to compromise on certain things, including tolerating certain jobs and wages and housing costs. Many people wouldn't have made my choices, and there are some subtle things I'd have done differently, but I'm far happier with my years living in cars and figuring things out my own way than I would be if I were still slaving away in crappy jobs and desperately trying to hold onto some overpriced apartment. I now own land in the mountains, _outright_ already, that I can self-build on fairly cheaply soon, and it cost less total than most of my friends pay in 2-3 months of rent. Point is, sometimes you don't have choices you find acceptable ... but there are _always_ choices, and sometimes alternatives to normal choices can be more acceptable than you might expect, once you really consider them. Transience serves me well now. Homelessness isn't automatically a death sentence. If your job makes you want to die, maybe it's worth not having one for a while. Be careful, have a plan, but just ... be open-minded.)

[@faithforbes7301]

Not to mention disabled people (physically/developmentally/psychologically.) Even if you get benefits, you only receive minimal help. The calculated benefit, barely covers cost of living! At least that’s the case in California. Even if you wanted to work, your income takes away from disability payments. So you basically never get ahead. Unless you somehow overcome your disability and how society treats you for it.

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@faithforbes7301 FACTS! Yeah I have multiple disabilities too, just also the privilege to be able to mitigate them more than many other unhoused people can. Around here (I'm in Colorado) the SSI/SSDI programs don't come anywhere close to covering the actual cost of living (and yet people are surprised when those on disability resort to illegal side gigs to survive 😑 like what do people expect? smh). And of course, nearly always, the only way to get a disability stipend is to fight in court for at least a couple of years first -- and even then it's still a sketchy gamble, and none of that process is ever disability-friendly to undertake. Thankfully, as far as I understand it, disability programs these days lean more toward encouraging individuals to heal/return to school/find alternative skills they can work with, so there are grace periods where you can start earning income without it impacting your aid amount and without having to pay aid back later ... within certain limits. That said, those limits probably aren't exactly practical, based on the absurdly low income threshold I have to stay under (like 1300/mo roughly iirc) in order to keep receiving foodstamps and Medicaid (which of course I need to get my various evals and meds, which I need to continue keeping a grip on my undergrad progress, which I need to get the student aid which has itself been the only reason I've gotten stable and been able to buy land). So if I make any sort of decent income outside of school, _even an amount fine-tuned for me to still get maximum full student aid and yet, combined with that aid, would STILL be insufficient for me to afford housing,_ BAM I lose my critically necessary healthcare and get immediately screwed back to ground zero. It's mind-blowingly dumb. The system is definitely improving -- receiving the aid I do get has become far more practical and accessible in recent years, at least insofar as Colorado administers its aid programs -- but ... still. The system is an insufficiently-effective mess. Thank you for piping up and adding that absolutely essential point to the discourse! I'm surprised and grateful this comment didn't get totally buried, and I hope lots of people learn from what you and I have said here.

[@chuckyyes]

@@faithforbes7301 sounds like we never ended national socialism's ideology of making the disabled people's life straight h3ll

[@Arejen03]

im at this point at 31, with warehouse jobs mostly but i dont want to do this anymore, this gives me depression takes my soul away, i dont see a way out of this shit i think im too old to change anything in life I` dont have kids or a girlfriend ,i could basically live from social benefits and play on PC whole day instead of working a dead end ass shitty job that wont bring me anything in life and and i would be happy, i dont care about beign a productive part of society. its not about you dont work you dont eat anymore.

[@Crabbadabba]

Yeah this is more of what the original poster was talking about, it's a hustle grindset job that some of us are tired of. We know the stakes aren't the same as they used to be but there's a push and pull effect going on where if we don't continue climbing the ladder of money or succeess we'll fall down and be forced to start over, much like sisyphus and his boulder. The psychology needed to push through in these jobs that require labor and constant mental focus are stressful in their own way, and perhaps we feel like it's a comfortable but ultimately unsatisfying feeling, almost like we're missing out. It's like a NEET but Currently employed and stuck grinding the levels of the job so that every day you're a little bit more efficient with it.

[@oficado58]

It's never too late. I've known people in their 60's make a career change.

[@wkale90]

My mom worked dead end jobs sometimes two at a time until age 40 and then I went to college. She started studying to become a masseuse in a physical therapy setting. After she started doing that she realized she liked helping people but didn't like how physical the work was on her body. She then started studying at night to become a nurse at a local community college. She passed her first nursing tests, and started working at the lowest paid level of nursing possible. Helping clean and take care of old people in a retirement home. She kept studying at night because she wanted to do more. She would work all day, cook dinner and study at night. Over the years she passed tests and got better jobs. For the final level of testing "the RN board test" it took her 2 years of studying and failing three times until she finally passed the test around age 48. She's age 53 now and she manages other nurses at a nursing agency. She still works her ass off but she loves her job. Her work ethic is incredible and I'm blessed to have her as a role model. TLDR: It's never too late to work towards change. It will take hard work and you will fail along the way because progress comes in a zigzag not a straight line. PS: playing computer games all day sounds like it will make you happy but it won't. It will feel empty and meaningless. Two things I've seen consistently make people actually happy. 1. Meaningful connections with other people 2. Accomplishing difficult things that took work. Hope that helps ❤️

[@ashleybursch2804]

you’re young in my eyes! go for it my friend

[@akzholchadan3288]

You are gonna become miserable after like a year of that kind of living, video games is just entertainment, it can't fulfill you forever

[@antohuman9255]

I think that the premise of survival is wrong, even compared to Dr K's own thoughts on reality vs your mind, accepting events and situations, and suffering. I believe that the farmers in the village were not as miserable as we are, even with the way higher risks. There are, for sure, situations of actual survival, but there is a bunch of idle time and possibility to digest things, reflect on them, accept then, and elaborate them. It feels to me like this is constantly ignored and this is absurd. I think that a more natural life implies that you do not take responsibility for everything that happens, you accept the fact that things might not go your way, so even if things go really bad, you suffer less!

[@spailer5478]

Dr K, I think what you explained about consuming negative information and stuff is helpful and I fully agree with it. But the thing is, you're not really tackling what this person is afraid of. Obviously they framed their fears in an exaggerated way, but we all know exactly what they're talking about. They look around them and see people working 40 hours a week or even more, getting home at 6, having a grand total of 2 hours of free time every day because they still need to cook and clean and go to bed by 11 so they can wake up at 7 the next day. And what other option really is there for most people? You can work on yourself and do this and that, but at the end of the day the majority of people have shitty jobs that they would leave in an instant if they weren't being threatened with homelessness and starvation. I know your job as a psychiatrist isn't to solve the world's pressing issues but I also don't think that not thinking about the future and going with the flow is gonna put many people's minds at ease, certainly not mine

[@sopoky3606]

I used to work at a really shitty low wage job to pay for college and rent. But I decided to get student loans instead so i could truly focus on my studies. Now I graduated and have my dream job at 21, Yea ill have dept to pay for a while... but at least I can pay it by working a job that i actually like :')

[@HJima]

dude congrats on the job!

[@FreedomBreeze24]

What job?

[@zomgpeoplestolemname]

As someone who was basically a NEET from 16-23, that felt like eternal suffering. You are constantly bored, you spend all of your time alone or with other NEETs, you rarely go out or interact with people who are actually living their lives, your diet is terrible, you overstimulate yourself, you have no money to do anything with, and you are probably depressed. There is a friend in our group who has been living a NEET lifestyle from when he was in high school to now when he is about 27/28. Our group has encouraged him to in some way do literally anything. He has no drivers license, he has never had a job, he has no college degree, he constantly complains about his situation, and when we offer solutions he makes excuses. Everyone in our group except him over the past 5 years has gotten jobs or graduated college and are now starting to live their lives. We have now all gotten busy and do not really talk as a group anymore. He has been essentially left behind. It has gotten soo bad that he basically sleeps all day, and when we would invite him to play something with us he would decline in favor of staying in bed and playing a phone game. We have done all we can to try and help him, but he doesn't want to help himself, so there is nothing more we can do. It is sad and mildly infuriating to see a friend do this to themselves, but it is a hole they dug themselves. Even if you hate your shitty minimum wage job, work it, earn money, make connections, gain experience and try to move up, and if nothing else it is something to put on your resume.

[@MrKrusten]

you are describing one of my friends perfectly. This is exactly the same situation with him too. After trying for so many years, having deep talks with him for hours about life where we would even shed tears, sometimes with hints of hope and motivation coming out of him, it all became worse and worse at the end. In the past he would see us atleast once every 3-4 months. Now it has been a whole year with zero contact, and all of us lost our will to keep trying. Last time i managed to see him he was skinny as hell and fed himself with salted peanuts all day. Your friend (and mine) have depression. Its one thing to be a NEET and reject modern life, its another thing to basically stop being a human being and reject essential things like eating, showering and seeing other humans.

[@wanderingrandomer]

I'm very introverted, and the most draining part of a job is dealing with people. Ironically, I'm currently working in social care and don't hate it, but it's still pretty stressful for me. It sure as hell beats retail or hospitatily though, where are the only other options where I live. Location is a big factor, and if you happen to live rurally, it can be a real struggle to break out of a rut.

[@dudedude365]

Rural sucks. Now a days i think introvertism is common

[@swafflemanish]

I guess I'm lucky, been working at a place for nearly 6 years that has been a pretty low stress and cushy gig. I've been working from home for over 2 years now. I basically am a data analyst, although I solve problems for clients sort of like a support agent - I just don't take calls. I work out of a case system. I get paid OK, well enough to own a house and I frequently finish my work an hour or two early. I usually go do other things when that happens and no one cares because I'm salaried and get my work done. I do have a side job but it's my passion- I am a freelance professional violinist and I probably make 10k yearly from gigs. I'm 33, so I'm a millennial. I think people are looking for work in the wrong places or something...most of my company is staffed by millennials and gen xers. I never worked in food and only briefly worked in retail.

[@Smallz1014]

I would love to chat, I would like to enter a similar sector as troubleshooting & software is a core pillar of my life. I believe I could succeed in landing interviews with companies in the sector with my professional & academic portfolio; but, like you stated, I'm unsure of where to look, who to get in touch with, what spaces to be in to network. If you believe you could set me on the right track I would be grateful!