Will We Raise Our Mixed Kids in South Korea or America? | Interracial Couple

[@skycedi]

We're still thinking through this but it was helpful to be able to share our current thoughts! If you have any "quick questions" about our lives, Korean culture, our relationship, etc., please leave a comment below 🙂👇🏽

[@JamConcerned]

Well it's obvious Becky loves it in Korea she has put down roots, has a supportive network of friends. Sad to say it will depend on what the children's sex are what they look like and how they deal with any racism due to racial differences. Some of the racism due to race is very harsh. As a parent you want to build a supportive community around your child. There are a few KZbinrs which have African/Korean culture mixed kids. There isn't a right or wrong answer. Two families come to mind they view this debate yearly. Leave their options open, check on how their children are doing. So it seems it will be a consistent evaluation through out their life. Will they be accepted into the Korean community as they grow and develop? Will they be accepted into the workplace, can they excel socially, educationally in a community that don't accept black Koreans. The same family you mentioned tried Japan first then re-evaluated again and it seems Portugal worked for them. So my question is for Becky if your child is having a very hard time with bullying through out school, when is it appropriate to choose maybe some place that is more supportive. I know your going to be a cheer leader and encourage them to get through any difficulty but when is it okay to pull up stakes and create a more supportive environment for your child and yourself. So my question is are you going to raise a child who is an independent thinker who creates his own life, creates his own work successfully. Or someone who will go with the flow of a set system. Korean system form early bonds with class mates that will help in getting you a 9-5 job? Most are life long friends but there is no guarantee. There is more and more start up money coming into Korea to help the entrepreneurial spirit so more can be successful at owning and operating their own business. So what kind of child do you want to raise?

[@92Kandee]

I'm a black South African dating a Korean man & we once had this discussion. My boyfriend had suggested at entering our future children into international schools but after looking at the expenses, we decided to rather go with a decision similar to Becky's (korean kinder until middle, then international H.S). There are many benefits that come with a child in public schools, even though the education system is intense. Good one, guys! I love the couple you're talking about; Our Financial Journey. They're amazing!

[@skycedi]

Thanks for watching! Yes, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of Korean schooling for the first half of their grade school and perhaps switching to international school for High School. The tuition is very expensive to all of the International schools, so that would have to make financial sense as well. Oh, and glad you know the couple I was talking about! They are the best 🙌🏽

[@sofiahavelarauter3121]

My daughter (now 12) is a dual national of the USA and Slovenia -- attends a local Slovenian school since we live in Slovenia. When we go to the USA, most people don't even know she wasn't born and raised there (no accent since we speak English at home). She is fluent in both languages. At first I had also considered an international school.. however, the tuition is quite hefty, the schools are located far away, and honestly she learns plenty and is well integrated in her current situation. I teach her extra at home of course. I also learn thru my daughter -- Slovenian culture, grammar, history, and German language (all for free!).

[@angryblackman857]

Slovenian speak german ???

[@sofiahavelarauter3121]

@@angryblackman857 Yes sir, many Slovenian people speak German -- they have German and/or English as a second language in schools here.

[@angryblackman857]

@@sofiahavelarauter3121 wow i didn't know that, i was thinking only german speak it, and outside Germany no one speak it ; i learn something. So two country on earth speak german.

[@skycedi]

Wow, that’s very insightful Sofia. Thanks for sharing your experience with your daughter. I guess my biggest concern is assimilation into both cultures as a child, especially considering if we decide to raise a family in Korea. Hearing your experience puts me at ease a bit more and gives me some things to consider. Thanks again :)

[@Jinnyboymusic]

I think it is quite important what kind of job you will get. That will be decisive where you like it or not.

[@davidcail2880]

Whatever you do make sure she's/he's bilingual. It will be to her/his advantage in the long run.

[@skycedi]

Agreed!

[@G1Transformed]

1:25 @Skycedi & Becky, Why worry about Korean level fluency while living in South Korea and the fact that you two speak Korean? My Children (half-Japanese and half-American) have never lived in the States, but speak English pretty well. Yes, they still have a lot to learn, but they can speak on the phone with their American grandparents on the phone without my help. They watch American movies and dramas in English and without subtitles. They didn't go to an International school, but regular public school here in Japan. We have a group of English speaking friends that we spend time with from time to time, but I suppose a majority of their English education falls on me since what they learn at school isn't anything they don't already know--my wife does speak English, but she mostly speaks to them in Japanese (which I'm okay with, as I thought it was best that we both did what felt natural). As your future children would be in South Korea, the people around them would be native speakers of Korean, so why wouldn't they pick it up naturally while outside the home? I can see how moving back to the States could be problematic, but there are large Korean communities across the States. Wouldn't that be enough as well? You'd also have your families to fall back on as well, and they helped you too =)

[@alisha1377]

I was thinking the same. Our pediatrician (for reference, she is Chinese born and raised and moved to US as a doctor, we picked her specifically because she is a bridge for my husband to communicate without feeling the need to explain cultural differences within medical practices) said that it is the minority language to be concerned not the majority language environment. My husband is Chinese and we speak mandarin at home.

[@skycedi]

Thanks for sharing your experience with your kids. It’s very helpful and insightful! I think our concern comes from the experience of meeting a handful of International School kids here in Korea (through our work and friends’ kids) where one parent is a Korean native. Some of those kids (not all) are fluent in English but not comfortable in Korean. There’s a lot of factors that can play into this, including the language spoken at home and if the students are involved in anything outside of their International Schools. It seems as though the language(s) the parents speak in the house has a huge part to play in that.

[@G1Transformed]

@@skycedi I used to think that I didn't want children because of the children I was around in schools, and then I had some of my own. Turns out, I raised the children I wanted to have, not the ones I had to interact with=) As my children are growing up in Japan, and are going to Japanese public schools, Japanese is their dominate language. It's the language they feel more comfortable speaking, but they can speak English, they just prefer to speak Japanese, at the moment. My daughter, my first born, refused to speak English regularly for the first two years of life. She went to a Japanese nursery and daycare and everyone around her spoke Japanese. She understood English, but refused to speak English. It wasn't until we took her the States for the summer did, she just natural switch to English--being surrounded by Americans who didn't understand a thing she said, certainly played a role in her switch, but she no longer found it strange to be bilingual. She needed the proper motivation to unlock what was already there. I have two children now, a daughter and a son, and they both speak to each other in both Japanese and English. My son almost always speaks to me in English while my daughter switches between English and Japanese. I almost never speak to them in Japanese, as English is natural to me and I'm their main source of English. Aside from their ALT teachers at school, my wife and I are the only people they can really speak English with regularly, as most people around them only speak Japanese. My daughter does have a friend who's half Canadian and Japanese who can speak English, but they both speak to each other in Japanese, which I assume they do because others around them cannot speak English, but maybe they just feel more comfortable speaking Japanese...it doesn't really matter. As I said in my last post, my family and I meet with a group of English speaking families from time to time and we regularly watch American movies and dramas in English, so they are hearing English from people/sources other than me and my wife. I think your concerns are valid, but I don't know if you're being fair to yourselves by comparing yourselves to your friends or the people around you. You aren't them. You are you, and you'll raise your children the way you want to raise them...which is likely how your parents raised you. Having a child can be scary, especially when having your first--everything is new and life changing. You might even start to doubt yourself and feel frustrated at times, that's normal...think of it as puberty 2.0...maybe adulthood 2.0 would have been better, lol. Just arm yourself with information. Family would be best, IMO, but books and friends are good sources too. Please don't compare your future child(ren) to those around you, we all grow differently, but we all eventually get where we need to be. PS: Early on, my wife and I thought about having our kids grow up in the States, but I felt that it would be better for them to spend their childhood in Japan, as I thought English was a language you can practice anywhere. Learning Japanese in the States was a chore for me. While there are a good number of Japanese speakers in Seattle, it's still a challenge to actually learn it. Especially the honorifics, which sounds like a concern of yours--the language used between your in group, superiors and subordinates. This was really difficult concept for me to wrap my mind around in the States since English doesn't work like this. We don't change verbs depending on the person we're talking to, but you do in Japanese. Is this one of those similarities that Japanese and Korean share? Anyway, everyone I ever spoke to was a friend, save for my teacher, and even then she predominately taught us standard Japanese, which isn't really helpful when trying to learn the appropriate structures for addressing particular members of society. English isn't so rigid and the alphabet is much easier to learn than thousands of Chinese characters and kana. Being surrounded by Japanese 24/7 is helping them master a very difficult writing system, which I doubt they would have mastered had they grown up in the States. This might not be as big issue for you and your future family, as hangul seems to be more widely used than Chinese characters (please correct me if I'm wrong), but if it is, being surrounded by it daily would surely help with their reading comprehension.

[@gunblade250]

Thanks for sharing. My wife, who is Korean, and I (white Canadian) are currently discussing this same thing. We are expecting our daughter in April and have yet to decide whether to stay in Canada or go back to Korea and, if we go back to Korea put our child in the Korean public system or international school. We are leaning towards public school. Lucky we got a girl though because at least we dodge the military requirement. My one concern is will she face discrimination in Korea for being mixed race? It wasn’t great when I was there 10 years ago but my understanding is that a lot has changed.

[@CAMCAM413]

Korean K-8 (kinder-middle) instill the Korean culture. You both can decide for the later years when the time comes nearer. You both would be great parents that’s definitely for sure. Cedric be prepared for diaper duties 😶

[@skycedi]

That does seem to make a lot more sense now that I think about it! As far as diaper duties….hmmm… 😂

[@claudiawoods4382]

My vote is to start in International school, and then switch to Korean school for High School. Rationale is to at least lessen the likelihood that the kids will be thrust into an environment where they would be singled out for being different until they are older and, hopefully, can handle it better. They could even go to Korean school on the weekends, or attend an academy some afternoons for intensive instruction in the Korean language. Depending on how much they interact with the local children, additional language lessons probably will not be needed for aural and spoken fluency. The extra classes would probably only be to ensure that the children have sufficient reading comprehension and writing skills.

[@adventurousamadeus4348]

Good topic, me and my girlfriend were just having this talk couple days ago. Whether to raise them Canadian or Korean

[@ChristianC-gy1ym]

I say Korea. Your kids will be even more Korean in phenotype than either of you. While they will be half Korean like you, they will be quarter black and quarter white. And half Korean, so they will probably look more Korean. In that case, they won't face as much stereotypes associated with nonKoreans. Whereas in America, if you ain't white you ain't right. In MANY states it is still very much like this.

[@isassetuba]

Korean foundation!!!

[@Megadat]

I visited seoul a few years ago and I loved it but I don't know how it would be to live there. What do you guys see as the pros and cons of living in south korea vs the USA longterm?

[@gunblade250]

I lived in Seoul for 6 years from 2007 to 2013 then moved back to Canada. I can say in all honesty that I enjoyed living in Korea much more than Canada. You don’t realize how truly boring Canada is until you’ve lived somewhere else for a few years.

[@isassetuba]

This is too short

[@isassetuba]

😂 😂 😂 She giving you the death stare

[@skycedi]

Always

[@ivyd5485]

Interesting topic! My husband couldn’t have dual citizenship when he naturalized as American. Can you have dual Korean-American citizenship? If you have children in Korea are they Korean citizens because they were born there (like in the US)?

[@skycedi]

Thanks for watching Ivy :) From my understanding, I wouldn’t be able to hold dual citizenship. If I were naturalized as a Korean citizen, I’d have to renounce US citizenship which I’m not willing to do. Also, if we did have children here in Korea, they would be American citizens!

[@alirahman9890]

Born in usa raised in Korea.

[@thenobleone-3384]

Interesting video I'm a mixed Asian who was adopted at Birth.

[@mamahlolimasipa9901]

There sort of things need to be thoroughly talked about before you say 'I do' so you are on the same page.

[@scway29]

Are you apprehensive about where your children would go to school due to racism in Korea? Also, I follow a couple whose child has dual citizenship (US and Korea). She said her daughter can have dual citizenship until age 22. She also said boys can have dual citizenship until 18 and have to decide if they want Korean citizenship only for the military requirement.

[@jbob2331]

I would send them to a Korean school, education is key...American would be a no no, but I am from the UK

[@jamesjon1500]

Ha! Cedric is my man crush

[@TheHalfieProject]

Mine too

[@adventurousamadeus4348]

Quick question. When you have kids. Will you give them a more Korean name or will you go with a more American English name ? My girlfriend were discussing this. What’s your thoughts?

[@susankwak3576]

Raising kids will require hard work

[@TheTexashammer24]

I know that family that you're talking about. I'm mean I know of them.

[@ECole-le7we]

Do people in South Korea worry about what the leaders in North Korea might do? And if they do something crazy, wouldn't you have to get out and back to America quickly along with your children?

[@oumaymasayhi9390]

Mixed what? They’re both Asian 😂