WITCHES, WIZARDS & BAD PUPPETS

On this episode of Weird Movies With Mark, I talk about War of the Wizards
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Credits Music by: OVERWERK

[@The-Man-On-The-Mountain]

The word "to" is getting more and more emphasis with every new video 😂

[@seanmatthewking]

Lol I know and I love it He’s going to need a megaphone for the *TO* part eventually.

[@mikehipps1015]

It's a fox. The Japanese believed that foxes were spirits. I don't remember everything but I thought you might find it interesting and look into it. Wait.. You might have just called her flower fox.

[@StefanReich]

@@mikehipps1015 Wat?

[@mikehipps1015]

@@StefanReich I'm not sure why that comment is there. It was meant to be my own post. Might have been a bit drunk when I wrote it.

[@CyberMonty2077]

Eventually it will be powerful enough TO destroy cities..

[@Claypidgeon162]

I like how the movie establishes the protagonist as an avid reader that immediately pushes aside the bamboo book in favor of a bowl.

[@kungfew1396]

He just liked picture books.

[@doctorthirteen5727]

@@kungfew1396 He had already read all the books.

[@kungfew1396]

@@howsitvingoing2048 Sounds like a cover up actually.

[@SlapChop1000]

Because there was no words on the bamboo...they appear and disappear just like in the movie.There was nothing to read when he looked at it underwater.

[@nseven1117]

@@SlapChop1000 for all we know it could just be a bamboo mat

[@Slayer-88]

Deadly Chopsticks is an S tier character who didnt have nearly enough character development

[@zmbdog]

Yes. Deadly Chopsticks is the first person I've heard deliver a threat fitting of an ASMR video.

[@johnk.7058]

This movie seems really charming, and it looks like they had a lot of fun making it

[@thatoneguy1426]

I'm just saying, this is one of the movies on the show that doesn't look THAT bad...

[@kaykutcher2103]

One of the few channels on KZbin where saying a movie isn't that bad is actually a compliment.

[@floraposteschild4184]

What I was going to say. Aside from the low budget, it looks like a fun fantasy movie.

[@thatoneguy1426]

@@floraposteschild4184 like I might even legit unironically watch it...

[@fletchkeilman2205]

Same here. Like this movie would probably pop up on Chicago TV's Samurai Sunday back in the day. In fact, I recognize a few Hong Kong and Taiwanese stuntmen prominent in many an independent Kung Fu movie of the late 70s and early 80s. This is pretty much my cup of tea.

[@krikeydial3430]

I am Deadly Chopsticks!

[@blornblad4381]

We need a movie where progressively stronger and more bizarre bad guys kill each other in order to get to the hero, who spends the whole movie just sitting there, doing nothing but waiting for the movie to end.

[@citizensguard3433]

No… we do NOT need that movie lol. Just think about a two hour run time with nothing but that sequence.. hilarious in theory… mind numbing in practice… That would make a brilliant funny or die short though for sure

[@GrubbJunker]

@@citizensguard3433 that's the idea. It's for the viewer to suffer.

[@doctorthirteen5727]

Reminds me of a movie called Mad Dog Time where a mob boss (who doesn't show up until the end of the movie) pretends to be crazy in order to get all his enemies to kill each other to be the "new" boss.

[@tonezski0118]

Id watch that

[@BrentStarling]

@@citizensguard3433 Well you could do it like as the bad guys get stronger, the process of them getting killed becomes more elaborate as well.

[@kilomillensimus9379]

This is a weird movie made by a Japanese director and a Hong Kong director working in the Taiwanese film industry. Its subject is old-time Chinese stories of magic and legendary creatures, which is already an oddball topic. But ambitious. You can't deny they really went for... something, here. The film poster (by Peruvian-American oil painter Boris Vallejo) is right. This is an ambitious fantasy film. I'm not an expert, but I can say that lot of these story turns are really common tropes in old-time Chinese stories of the fantastic. Foxes become beautiful women to love or trick mortal men, and clever guys can find magic objects to luck into riches and therefore trouble, etc. In stories that use this framework, people also bump into old scholars who are wizards and soothsayers like, all the time. So it's like this movie just said "Yeah, we're going all in on that. Wizards out the wazoo. These Taoist fortune tellers? Also wizards. The greedy foxes' mom? Wizards. The would-be scholar dreamer? He bumped into wizards so many times now he's a wizard, too. It's practically Star Wars. Come pay money to see our movie like people paid to see Star Wars! You can tell your kids this was Star Wars."

[@whatifschrodingersboxwasacofin]

Excellent comment. Thanks for the perspective.

[@moonjabes]

I love old myth and legends, and this gave me heavy folk legend feels. Like something out of 1001 Nights or Journey to the West

[@abadenoughdude300]

Kind of reminds me of A Chinese Ghost Story. I love that flick (or trilogy, actually) and all of it's supernatural wackiness.

[@gaywizard2000]

You could take them to a burned out building and say Star Wars burned down!

[@gaywizard2000]

Boom, another wizard!

[@bubbajenkins123]

This sort of weirdness is not uncommon for 1970s/80s Chinese movies

[@shallendor]

That is what makes many of them so much fun to watch!

[@SebastianMikulec]

We need a Flowerfox and Queen Amidala crossover movie where they keep one upping each other with more ludicrously elaborate hairstyles.

[@harleykennedy7922]

And a simp Jedi who is slowly falling to the dark side and can’t choose which girl he wants

[@titanjakob1056]

Might as well through Marie Antoinette in there for ludicrous hairs styles cross over movie lol

[@grapeshot]

Ends up in a river naked, you'd have to ask yourself did somebody slip something in my tea and all this was just a bad trip.

[@85jacob85]

A lot of this stuff makes sense if you understand Chinese cinema. That paper is like spell scrolls, and Chinese cinema tends to make it's magic effects bigger.

[@SonnyGTA]

On a side note, Richard Kiel was a superb person in real life. Very kind and caring. Also, extremely funny. Very quick and dry humor. Look up some interviews with him.

[@magforce7strike106]

“I’m not even mad. Just disappointed.” Dang it Mark! Not while I’m drinking! 🤣

[@skreeonk]

Bravo, Mark. Lots of laugh-out-loud moments in this one. Loved the 8Ball gag.

[@richarddoyle3420]

THAT'S a Phoenix?!? More like a colorized version of 'The Giant Claw!'

[@doctorthirteen5727]

"I better go home and clean this bowl". Ah yes, a typical night for me.

[@heikkijhautanen4576]

That chopstick bloke needs his own movie!!! :D

[@corybrantley2345]

If he wants to stay rich. He better leave them hoochies alone.

[@actionjackson4982]

Hoochies 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DarkKingHades]

"I ain't saying she a gold digger...."

[@mama-ayanna]

@@actionjackson4982 yoooo who knew seeing the word hoochies after i unno how many decades would make me smile so!

[@SirenChats]

I don’t know what but the “Go-Go Gadget Arm” joke made me lose it

[@DamienDrake]

That one killed me too.

[@grapeshot]

Maybe they need to start having telethons about the deadliness of chopsticks. Maybe we can get rid of DCS( Deadly Chopstick Syndrome). Within our lifetime.

[@purplehz97]

It's no joke, my brother has Chronic DCS. He was attacked by a rogue sect of shaolin monks whilst backpacking through China. Has a chopstick lodged in the right side of his skull. Doctors say if they remove it he'll die. Anyway so now he has to be really careful when going around corners.

[@freedragon3050]

@@purplehz97 If you think that's bad, I won't even mention where my brother chopsticks are lodged. Let's just say he'll need one of those donut cushions for the rest of his life!

[@kungfew1396]

Completely impractical for soup anyway! What a unnecessary scourge on society.

[@doctorthirteen5727]

That's nothing compared to Severe Spork injuries. Many of my fingernails have fallen victim to sporks.

[@tonychai5147]

this looks like a Taiwan production. Some of them are prominent actors/actresses in the 70s. Back then Shaw Brothers HK produced more elaborately choreographed sword fighting flicks, so this might be one that ride on the trend then to squeeze in some movie goers' spendings. Back in the 70s asian cinemas were packed with audiences. But at that time, Taiwan is more famous in churning out romantic flicks helmed by the 2 Chins and 2 Lings (incidentally one of the Ling became Jackie Chan's wife till today). But to be fair, Taiwan did produce some excellent kung fu flicks like burning of the shaolin temple, the crippled masters etc.

[@tonychai5147]

just to add on : 1. sword fighting scenes in chinese tavern involving killer chopsticks were quite common and cheaper to make. Shaw Brothers movies usually have better fight scenes where sword fightings were more engaging with lots of leaping and jumping (qing gong) around too. 2. those signs were actually talisman. They are meant to fend off evil spirits, demons or even chinese vampires. Very commonly used in chinese vampires movies popular in the 80s. 3. some of the scenes were references to journey to the west like the size-changing oriental fan, the fox demons masquerading usually as pretty ladies, the peaches of immortality, demons once repent were summoned to the heavens etc.

[@bayonetababe9697]

@@tonychai5147 That’s really interesting. I admit I know nothing about ‘70s-‘80s cinema from Taiwan. Thanks for giving some backstory to the movie as well as explaining some of the references used.

[@TheMadAfrican1]

I was just thinking that it might be one of those trend following films trying to cash in on Shaw's success. Didn't think it would be a Taiwanese film though! Gotta love the movie business of the 60s and 70s.

[@jaygrinder7694]

The Hong Kong Movie Database lists it as a Hong Kong film, but IMDB lists as a Taiwanese movie that was filmed in Hong Kong. Oddly HKMDB says that the movie was made in 1980, while IMDB says that the movie was made in 1978, but not released until 1983. One site lists two directors, while the other lists one director. So, that's pretty confusing. And, by the way, I agree, it really, does look like a Taiwanese movie. They always did have a fairly distinct look to them.

[@ScreamingScallop]

Another Taiwanese production that gets credited to Hong Kong from the same period is _The Story of Chinese Gods_ AKA _Feng Shen Bang._ Like Ralph Bakshi's _The Lord of the Rings, Chinese Gods_ is an animated attempt to adapt a _gigantic_ literary work into a ninety-minute film. For those who don't know Asian mythology it's an hour and thirty minutes of pure WTF and for those who DO know a bit of lore it's still a huge mess. I love it. Brandon Tenold and Animation Pilgrimage have posted reviews of it, anyone who wants a peek should check 'em out.

[@grapeshot]

Used to watch these kinds of movies on the USA Network back in the 80s. On Kung Fu Theater.

[@kevinbarksdale7897]

When you were talking about the possibilities of making things smaller or bigger I did think of something different. If you have a woodstove you could just pick up a bunch of twigs and small sticks then make them big enough for firewood. No chopping down trees, cutting them them and having to split the big logs into firewood.

[@Aster_Iris]

Man I'd just make myself taller. I'll reach those shelves, yet!

[@PinkPiratePickle]

I got to admit the "Warm Sock Wish" made me burst laughing

[@p.d.l7023]

"Wolf, jackal?" Fox. Foxes are trixters who can take human form in some Asian mythology.

[@jqzhswl]

That 900yr fruit is from ancient Chinese mythology and it gives eater immortality. If you live long enough to get one

[@Niobesnuppa]

So the main character is immortal now? I guess he didn't go completely empty-handed at the end after all.

[@matthew2897]

Mark is getting funnier and funnier I swear

[@Ruki1411]

9:33 not signs, they are talisman to attack/defense againt evil, it's very popular in chinese culture. i think this movie very funny, and with Mark's comment and narrative, it's make me laughed alots xD

[@mantovannni]

Timed this nicely. The chopstick throwing assassin sounded exactly like one of the Mooninites from Aqua Team Hunger Force.

[@MrJohndoakes]

Fitting, because the first time I saw this reviewed online was by Brad Jones ("The Cinema Snob") a decade ago.

[@beno1129]

When I was little back in the 90s, a friend of mine at school narrated a Chinese film he had watched. At the time I thought he was making parts of it up, as kids tend to do sometimes. Now, more than 20 years later, I realise this was the film he was telling me about! And to think I doubted... yeah I've forgotten his name. But thanks for clearing this up Mark!!

[@keangly8325]

Was his name Michael?

[@beno1129]

@@keangly8325 Nope, his name had more syllables!

[@Wesblumarine]

That’s awesome!

[@richardfan7157]

You have amazing memory

[@samholdsworth420]

Don't worry it's not racist I had an Asian friend when I was growing up.

[@wadeworkman7283]

Man! I was just getting into Deadly Chopsticks’ vibe. Then he’s DEAD!

[@deadlychopsticks1641]

*"I Deadly Chopsticks....have been defeated."*

[@Slayer-88]

Hah your chopsticks are too fake

[@redwolfe7049]

@@Slayer-88 I read this in a bad English dub voice.

[@FluttershyIsAGoddess]

21:53 That's Flower Fox's true form. It's showing that she's not actually a human, she's a Huli jing, a Shapeshifting Fox Spirit.

[@lekhaclam87]

It's even in the name.

[@Claypidgeon162]

You are a Deus Ex Machina for my procrastination.

[@dylanwolf]

Killer Palm has Hands of Fate just like Manos. Fat lot of good it did him.

[@citizensguard3433]

Imagine if killer palm were to sit alone in his room with a sock and…. …. ……put the sock on his foot, before putting on some shoes… would his palm kill his sock? Yeah, I stole Mark’s “thought I was gonna say something dirty didn’t ya?” bit. Sue me lol

[@redwolfe7049]

@@citizensguard3433 I did think that. You got me lol.

[@redwolfe7049]

Killer Palm missed his true calling.

[@floatpvnk]

I’m gonna address the elephant in the room and ask Mark if he knows his logo looks sort of like the tardis from a glance?

[@fletchkeilman2205]

Much love to you, mark. Thanks for posting this it always makes my day

[@christophertheriault3308]

I think the animal overlays are to establish the women were fox spirits

[@heavysystemsinc.]

It looked like the whole thing was the inspiration for The Never Ending Story...the entire magical part of the story was the book he was reading the whole time! I don't know why he stripped naked and jumped in the water when the story was done, though. That's weird. Unless he got wrapped up in the book and decided it was time for a paperback and a bath.

[@joaopossani3109]

"Where did you think I was gonna go with that joke?" That's the moment I smashed the like button xD

[@kalifswagr7d717]

At the end I thought he was gonna go "so I guess you are benefitting from my misery...like the whole purpose of this show"

[@arachnophobik433]

Doing great with the jokes Mark! Thanks for the warm sock!

[@lazyzeno1314]

I love the realism in this movie, not one character had any morals to adhere to.

[@pantau8551]

Hi Mark, I recently watched a terrible movie called Monstroid: It came from the lake from 1980 directed by Kenneth Hartford on Amazon prime Video. Maybe you wanna check it out. Thank you for the show and greetings from Germany.

[@NeoMicy]

So his wifes leaves with the prophets that tried to kill them? xD

[@optimas99]

" I'm not mad, just disappointed" .. someone seems ready to raise kids! :D

[@seanmatthewking]

What do you mean? He’s already raising us.

[@blacknapalm2131]

06:12 *Deadly Chopsticks, money is my game. I'm all about that paper, bitches, noodles and fame*

[@daviddamasceno6063]

Tai still owns the restaurant, right? I'm sure he'll be okay :)

[@lekhaclam87]

His old town, which included the restaurant, was wiped out by the magic flood, so I doubt it.

[@citizensguard3433]

If a beautiful Asian woman dressed like this asked me if I’d like to brush her hair, I could sit here all day and say I’d tell her no, Ya boy here ain’t no Simp son… But in reality? I’d be like “let’s get those knots out, girl… I hope I’m not brushing too hard?” Lol sad but true.

[@thedeadcannotdie]

Well if you're in Japan, you better hope she's not the misandrous spirit of a long dead domestic abuse victim looking to snap your neck while you brush her hair

[@citizensguard3433]

Rittik Battacharya 😱😱

[@maximillian1109]

For the "You have three days!!" plothole, why did they not just give her a spell that takes three days to complete? They could have made the result of the spell really scary and painful as well as 100% fatal. But if he were to come out of his own before then, she would sparw him such a fate and just make him her slave or something instead for ever daring to run. That would have actually put a timer on our protagonist and made the situation tense. It would also explain why she did not use any of her stronger powers on him during the chase. She needs time and consentration to fire them up. .... Aside from that, I just wanna know what the rules for this bowl is. Can you only wish for things that would fit inside of it, or is the sky the limit? And if you can wish for stuff larger than the bowl, how will it appear in the real world? Like, lets say he wished for a horse. Would the horse just leap out in a shower of sparkles and magic, being all magestic and ready to go? Or would they slowly and paunfully be squeased out of the bowl like a birthcanal of steel, screaming in agony and terror as their body is crushed and mangled by the stiff metal, finally ending up on the floor a horrid fleshsack consisting of crushed up muscles, bones, and organs, only stopping their twitching and howling as the hero ends the poor things suffering with a dagger through the eye? I really would like to know.

[@stevetaylor9027]

Practice chopstick safety, everybody!

[@markl2322]

The part where the assassins kept getting bumped off by more interesting ways of bumping people off was reminiscent of Bruce Willis' character in "Pulp Fiction" as he kept finding better weapons to dispatch the kidnappers who had intended to rape him.

[@kungfew1396]

Mark was obviously too lazy to watch the end credits where it explains this movie was based on a true story.

[@o0buonanotte0o]

"Let's take a nap first!" - that's the right job for me. I can also paint signs on paper, so where do I submit my application?

[@Misterobozo1]

He didn't end with anything. I mean he has a restaurant in his tsunami stricken village, he could open up again , and because every other business-owner has been swept away, he would have no competition. No patrons either, but .. it's a start.

[@kevinthepilgrim]

Forrest Gump did it with one boat.

[@Nestalgba92023]

Maybe he still has the experience of battle of wits with wizards? And his Magic Bowl?

[@77Pivko]

Pretty cool movie, looks like an Asian version of Neverending story.

[@Justin-ou5yo]

I was on the fence about that until the rock monster.

[@Justin-ou5yo]

"Probably not strong enough to break out of that friend zone huh?" Savage Mark is savage!

[@carljacobson7156]

Chinese Wu Xia (Fantasy Martial Arts) Movies often don't make any sense - especially the serialized versions that are spread over several movies That said, this movie looks like a particularly Low Budget Wu Xia film - very corny.

[@alekhidell4925]

Mark, your deadpan face at 8:46-9:01.... glorious! Couldn't stop laughing. These little moments keep me coming back. Good shit.

[@antonlavrentiev5249]

Actually pretty entertaining movie. Nice acting and costumes. Special effects look authentically to the time. Strange plot, mostly likely based on couple folk fairy tales. I think this one deserves a seal of approval.

[@annebruecks7381]

🦭

[@HorribleReviews]

Yo Mark! Is there a way to reach out to you?

[@XiahouJoe]

Curious how many takes the sisters wedding vow joke took to be delivered so straight?

[@umbrellacorp.]

5:32 I like how each Villain just keeps killing each other after giving their dialog, one after the next. 😂👍

[@TheMadAfrican1]

Mark, I think you should watch the Mr Vampire series of films. They're a ridiculously fun series of Chinese horror comedies that you should get quite bit of material from.

[@Jemmyt]

And Chinese Ghost Story movies.

[@big_bad_lynx]

you need to see Uncle Roger's guide on how to cook rice if you're struggling with yours cooking skills

[@CapucineNighly]

I would never visit his channel after he complete bent over backwards for the ccp. If anything Taniyan-san is better with rice than him. 🙄

[@NefariousKoel]

Step 1 : Buy a digital rice cooker.

[@vhagerty]

No matter how laughably bad this movie is, it's still Oscar worthy compared to "50 Shades of Gray" and the "Twilight" franchise. 😜

[@Dragonflywins]

You can always count with my like, Mark

[@scarface5857]

Mark you can thank me later: 1. Grab a glass and fill it with rice (basmati or preboiled rice recommended) 2. Grab a pot, put in the stove on high with a soup spoon of olive oil 3. Throw the rice in there, fry it for some minutes while stiring until it's translucid 4. Fill the same glass with fresh water and throw in the pot (repeat 2x. two portions of water for one portion of rice) 5. add some salt (do not stir) 6. When the water starts boiling bring the fire down a bit (do not stir) 7. keep bringing the fire down, until the water completely evaporates (do not stir) 8. when the water is completely evaporated, take it out of the stove, put it in some other recipient and let it dry a bit 9. you are done note: do not stir the rice with the water. ever. let me know how it went :D

[@annebruecks7381]

Mark, minute rice is almost as disgusting as bagged pre-cooked rice! Don’t do that to yourself anymore, please!!!

[@john_blues]

@@carlkermode899 Yup. That's a winner right there.

[@99knives]

How about don't eat rice. High in arsenic, carb heavy, no fiber, no nutrition, high glycemic index, type 2 diabetes. Just no.

[@scarface5857]

@@99knives sad life you live

[@99knives]

@@scarface5857 what a low IQ response

[@skylx0812]

*"Killer Palm Force"* ? thats either a killer bitchslap or a very good time

[@3dpprofessor]

The sequence where each assassin is killed by an even more deadly assassin was hilarious to me.

[@bubbajenkins123]

The actual name of the movie in Chinese is Wu zi tian shi meaning “The Phoenix “

[@poopoogigolo]

Do you know the Chinese characters for the title? I translate The Phoenix into Mandarin and it doesn't match "wu zi tian shi"

[@Nestalgba92023]

@@Dylan-Quincy Or much precisely: The Heavenly Wizards of Five Youths.

[@seanmatthewking]

Glad we’re all in agreement

[@fridaythe13thpartx]

With a magic bowl...why one could ask for almost anything,even another bowl. I,personally,would ask the bowl to produce a mature woman with big knockers.But that's just me that's just the way I roll.

[@annebruecks7381]

Ask for 2? I’ll take one off your hands for you 😉

[@gregsvlogshow]

this channel is way underrated! So funny! I love it.

[@eblackwell]

The magic 8 ball: all your expressions through it how happy you were when it said yes lol!

[@CowsR4me]

Soak your rice for like 15 mins then rinse it decently, when cooking i use two burners one on max one on "2". Put rice, and water (like less than 2:1 ratio. 1.75:1 something like that) pinch of salt cuz why not and bring to boil. As soon as it boils put a tight fitting lid (line it with foil) and put it on burner number 2 and cook for approx 16 mins. dont open it till the end, and when you check it you can just push the rice to the side a little and look down to the bottom of the pan to see if theres any water. If no water then fork the rice to fluff. Also dont put that lid back on tightly after it keeps cooking, leave it cracked a little. Enjoy your soy sauce vessel white man.

[@CowsR4me]

oh forgot to mention, use normal rice. instant rice is pre-cooked then dehydrated thats why its always mushy.

[@arttucker9913]

That bowl is a Chinese sampo!

[@12345.......]

Movie suggestion: Gog, 1954. A giant brain machine is programmed to sabotage a government space station. The scene where the scientist becomes frozen in the lab in the first 10 minutes happened, and I knew I was going to love this movie.

[@FanboyFlicks]

Thanks, I'll check that out!

[@Wade978]

Like you weren't thinking it yourself, Mark!

[@zmbdog]

Deadly Chopsticks is the first person I've heard deliver a threat fitting of an ASMR video.

[@d1halberdgnoll963]

Something I always wonder... Are these Wuxia movies as weird to native Chinese people as they are to westerners?

[@andrewgwilliam4831]

I'm guessing not. I think a lot of these films use elements from traditional stories and characters that we don't have familiarity with; a little bit like how an English film could include Robin Hood as a character, which immediately suggests stuff about robbing the rich to give to the poor, an absent king, a priest as a sidekick, etc, etc.

[@lich109]

"Wouldn't it be funny if you only got one wish, and he wasted it on rice?" So you mean like that Wonder Woman 1984 movie where a dude wastes his one and only wish on a cup of coffee?

[@zmbdog]

Having people who want to rob this guy continually get killed by others who want to rob him is the greatest thing in any movie ever!

[@treyliles117]

The fact that Mark still hasn't reached 1 million subscribers is criminal.

[@12345.......]

Seems like he has been in the 200k range for 5+ years

[@Ciborium]

Mark has so many Dad-isms in this episode.

[@danielwilliams7562]

Doa of Dad

[@santirank]

Crap! He was totally on to me about sisters joke... My shame is immesurable.

[@santirank]

And about sandwich... 😔

[@savednorwegian]

I believe in the *Prohecy of 1 million subs for FanboyFlicks* and that "dive" tho, got to hurt haha

[@nervozaur]

Hey, please just try making normal rice instead. Those bags of rice are horrible, they don't taste good at all. I'd rather go without rice than having to eat those. Anyway, here's the easiest way to make rice. It's simple and fast. You take a 2-3l pot, has to have a lid, you put 1 measure of rice to 2 measures of water, i go with 150-160g of rice for 2 people, so then 300-320 ml of water. I put 2 good pinches of corse salt, a teaspoon of oil (don't know if it's actually needed), and then when it starts to boil, i turn down the heat to low-medium (3 on an electric stove), and put the lid. Before putting the lid make sure you stir a bit. And then you leave the lid on for 15 minutes, and after that, you take the pot off the stove WITHOUT taking the lid off, you leave it for another 10-15 min. That's all, and the rice is perfect and good everytime. Then you can experiment however you like. I add sometimes a beef cube instead of salt. Anyway, please throw away the minute rice, it's horrible. Oh, and if you can find it, usually with Arab or Chinese markets, get a bigger bag of rice. I recommend any Jasmine rice. I like it the most. Hope you'll enjoy. :p

[@MRptwrench]

Mark touched on a very important regarding hiding your valuables in plain sight, as per the example of the magic bowl under the false flowers. I once had, I mean a friend had one of those diversion or disguised safes that looked just like everyday items, such as a can of soda or hairspray. Well this frIend had one that looked just like wd-40, because "who is ever going to think to look for the, ahem... 'valuables' in a spray can of wd-40, right? But the problem was not the thieves but everybody else! For example my neighbor, I mean my friends neighbor would always want to borrow the wd-40, or his wife wanted him to use the wd-40, or friends would come over to his garage and pick it up just to exclaim "wow, does it really do everything it claims"? So much so, that my friend got another can of real wd-40 but that only made things weirder because the neighbor would say "I don't wanna use up all the brand new can, shouldn't I just use the older one?" The wife said "why do ya have 2 cans? You're acting strange." AND his friend said "this new can doesn't have the straw built-in to the nozzle, and the detachable straw keeps falling out. Why can't I just use the other can?" It caused too much anxiety, or maybe it was because of what my friend stored in that safe, so he stopped using it and tried to sell the safe on Craigslist (remember that fun?) but he had to answer questions like "does the wd-40 really spray out? Are you selling any safes that don't look like the most useful thing in the house? And even, "that's a dumb place to put stuff!" So the moral of that story is "don't do drugs". That's what my friend said. What was this movie about?

[@johnnie2638]

Well that's just great. Now I really do want a super big sandwich. But I'm at work. Thanks a lot.

[@AquamentusLives]

I thought for sure you were gonna say he could have used the clones to solve the sister-wives wedding night problem, but I probably just have a dirty mind.

[@GamesFromSpace]

See, I'd make clones of the sisters.

[@Martin951XX]

New channel subscriber here and a fan. You are my new crack *not that I do crack though 😁* Keep up the marvelous videos 👍🏼

[@jzacrack1978]

Every time I'm bored, don't know what to watch, you show up. Apparently I'm 6 days late on this, no idea how. Victoria heat wave maybe.

[@mattjohnson8585]

Sheesh, Mark. You may not be mad, but you sure are judgmental today! I mean...not wrong, just judgy.

[@wimvanderstraeten6521]

The solution to the wedding night conundrum is pretty obvious, isn't it?

[@LevitatingCups]

Make him drunk enough so he cant get it up?

[@batman_overlord]

This video made me realize that I’m a dirty birdie 😅

[@g.jvaughan1556]

Does anyone else feel like the names of the bandits are like if no one in the Jojo's Bizarre Adventures writing team could be bothered to think up Stand names??

[@MaxOakland]

This movie looks awesome. I love the part where the sizes of things change constantly at 12:49

[@t.andrewhanes872]

Been going thru your videos… love your stuff… this was even funnier than per usual… kudos!

[@expatveteran7815]

Finally! Some hocus pocus! YASSS!

[@spibbymcgoo4877]

Have you seen Five Element Ninjas yet? It is the ultimate ninja movie. Also yesssss Chicago deep dishhhhh