Woman's Husband is "Too Dumb"

[@osheridan]

Reddit confessions are always either "I told my wife my favourite colour was blue but it was red" or "I kick puppies into the sun day and night, evening and noon and in a house with a mouse"

[@reallifedoor4536]

"into the sun day and night"

[@osheridan]

@@reallifedoor4536 the moon is surprisingly bounccy

[@S15N51]

@@osheridan the moon is a giant floating mass of solid stone bro. What are you on about 😭😭 Edit: Damn it was like 4AM when I wrote this. I was so randomly pissed by this comment lol.

[@x.vinniestxr]

@@S15N51 oh my god, you're so lame

[@sanctacaecilia11]

Do you kick them in a box? Do you kick them with a fox?

[@YourFriendlyNeighborhoodTaxCol]

The "I have no idea what I'm doing at work" with 30,000 upvotes is just peak Reddit.

[@ATWQ160]

My JoB iS tOp SeCrEt… even I don’t know what I’m doing

[@millo7295]

The Company

[@sarahberkner]

Reddit is a scary place. That one coworker who hates it at your job and you don't know how they ever got hired is all over Reddit. But it's also a good place to find answers and read interesting stories and find people with similar niche interests.

[@rainbomg]

@@sarahberknerI have learned SO MUCH from certain subs and I’m so grateful for the honest and sincere efforts people put into helping strangers figure stuff out, they make me feel less alone in this world and make me hopeful for the future… and for each of those there’s about a thousand subs that make me wonder how we’ve all survived this long or figured out how to make fire or pants or cake

[@plattbagarn]

@@rainbomg Thankfully all of that stuff was invented before the redditor.

[@Dinglehopper.]

The surprise microphones are getting out of hand I’m too scared to open my toilet

[@octopus8978]

SUPRISEEEE MICROPHONEEEEEE

[@gristleboi3205]

Funny comment but also you're a G for that profile pic

[@reallifedoor4536]

I was just about to comment this. I hope he does it in every video, though after some time when it becomes predictable just more randomly throughout the video, or even only in select videos

[@nathanstafford8412]

You have 420 likes. I'm not touching that like button.

[@WishfulWind]

I was walking through my hallway late at night and almost woke everyone up 😆

[@capness1228]

When I was a kid someone told me limes were baby lemons and I believed that shit for an embarrassingly long time.

[@margaret07]

I met someone that genuinely thought unicorns were real animals that went extinct.

[@jeddybear5909]

That's pretty cute though haha.

[@SevenW777]

wait.... they not?....😂

[@sleepybim]

@@margaret07tbf it’s literally just a horse with a horn Much more believable than giraffes

[@TumblinWeeds]

To be fair Limes are picked before they ripen. When they are ripe (you can search online) they become yellow and conspicuously like lemons. They’re not so different. The ripe lime does have more of a bitter taste though.

[@slightlyoffification]

scariest leave right now moment: i was fishing at a local lake with my older brother when I was 10 (he was 13). it was the middle of the day and the only other person there was a man who was also fishing. the man spoke to my brother about fishing for a bit, which seemed normal cuz we had seen this man at the lake before and he conversed with our dad once. but then the man offered us beer. my bro knew that was not okay and called my mom. she called the cops and told us to pretend to go home, but instead of going home to meet her at a designated spot elsewhere at the lake. my brother told the man our mom "yelled at us" for some made-up reason, and we had to go home. we waited a few hundred yards away, out of his sight, until my mom and the cops showed up. the police searched his car and arrested him pretty quickly. in his trunk they found ropes and pictures of children being exploited. he had several warrants out for his arrest for kidnapping and SA-ing children. this was in 2003 when it was more normal for young kids to run around town, and my brother had just gotten his first cell phone (the notorious nokia brick)

[@tonygluk1]

God damn. If I was offered a beer at that age I would've thought nothing of it. Mad props to your brother and your mother. Did you mom know something about that man, or was the beer offer just that alarming?

[@chere100]

@@tonygluk1 In fairness, offering a thirteen year old a beer is quite alarming. I wasn't even expecting the pdfile part of that story.

[@pieceofshoot]

damn

[@sarahberkner]

I'm glad you were okay! To lighten the mood a little, my niece was asked when she was maybe 10 if she wanted root beer and she said "I don't drink beer!"

[@rainbomg]

@@sarahberknerthat’s adorable bc she said it like she’s just more of like, a wine person or something

[@bleh3.2]

My mom and sister had a running joke from before I was born to call tornadoes 'tomatoes' so for about 5 years of my life I just thought that those swirly winds were called the same thing as the red fruit, tomatoes. It wasn't even that I just took that and ran with it, I asked my sister many times what tornadoes were called and she just flat out went 'oh yeah they're called tomatoes'. Older siblings just lie, they just enjoy lying, so maybe your partner's not stupid, maybe they just have an older sibling who lied to them.

[@timmiller1]

My four year old son calls them “tormatoes”. Sometimes we have to decide how long to allow a cute mispronunciation go on without allowing it to become a future embarrassment.

[@BleckBluck]

I swear I clicked on this expecting someone to call tomatoes a vegetable, also I am high and I am taking too long to type this

[@orionshtrezi]

​@timmiller1 one day they're gonna look it up and discover an amazing prog album

[@rainbomg]

@@BleckBluckhi, I love you?

[@rainbomg]

@@timmiller1such a good point! When do you do that? I guess before they start school?

[@TheBeanBoy_]

Imagine posting your deepest darkest secret onto Reddit then some internet guy comes along and immortalizes it in song. I'd be mortified. Please keep at it- genuinely hilarious-

[@PreemptiveStrike]

I choked on my water at *byo-yo-yo-yoing*

[@KooblyK]

I have a "we gotta get out of here NOW" story: When I was a kid (13), me, my younger siblings, and a couple of the neighbor kids were out exploring the woods that hugged our in-development suburb. There was a swath of construction going on, churned dirt, tracks from machinery, etc, then forest until it hit the nearby highway. This was not the first time we'd done this, and I grew up in the countryside and knew the woods pretty well, so was trusted to keep an eye on everyone. Watch for snakes, poison ivy, make sure they don't climb a tree too high or onto dead branches, that sort of thing. Well, the last time we did it, we were doing some standard Bridge to Tarabithia shit: playing pretend, building forts, telling a god damn *story*. But at one point, I lost eyes on one the younglings. Told everyone else to stay put while I looked for them. It took a few minutes of sweeping before I heard low voices. Adult, male voices, in the distance. Not far from the break in the trees next to the highway, I spotted flashes of clothing of two men walking across my path. They hadn't seen me, they were too focused on the small figure they were quietly calling after as it stumbled away through the brush. I couldn't hear what they were saying, and they weren't in a hurry, but something was WRONG. They weren't construction workers. We were far away from anywhere adults would casually be, and I couldn't see any flash of a car pulled over through the gaps in the trees. I stayed quiet, got lower, and crept as quickly as I could after the girl, making an arc to intercept where I'd seen her heading. As soon as the kid could see me, she ran over. She'd been crying. I scooped her up just as the men spotted me. They weren't far now, maybe 10-15 yards, and as I started running, one of them called out after me, "Hey, where you going? Come here, she dropped something." I think they gave chase for a little while, but I guess they got cautious about going too close to a populated area. When I circled back to the rest of the kids, the men were gone. Normally it was a bit of a chore herding everyone when they weren't done playing, but I guess they picked up how serious and scared I was, because when I said we were done, and going home *now* there wasn't a peep. I let the girl's brother carry her and stayed at the back, looking over my shoulder the whole way home. I never told the full story to our parents (though I wish I had so the police could have been called), just said there were weird men hanging around in the woods. That was enough for us all to be banned from playing there anymore, and I was okay with that.

[@lunahorse67]

i have seen 3 of those get out now stories in the comments now and every one happened when they were 13. Why is 13 so dangerous man?

[@MainStar10]

@@lunahorse67maybe because it’s about old enough to begin to have some independence as a kid but young enough to be extremely vulnerable, at least compared to older teens

[@Gale-the-Prophet]

@lunahorse67 You’re learning to see the world clearly, but you don’t understand it. It’s an age where you learn to protect, learn to observe, and learn to see this hidden sense everyone talks about in the comments Young teens don’t understand it, so they just go with it. Theyre also the most likely to make the mistakes that put them in danger (like vibe deep in the woods) that they didn’t learn not to make yet. Genuinely not a judgement: all teens do this in some capacity, and everyone is unique. Some people also loose their sensitivity to this raw danger as they age, but everyone has it at that age

[@milindamcdougall1862]

OMG! I taught middle school English in a school that required VERRRY detailed lesson plans, 7-8 pages long for EACH prep, very complicated, citing sources, etc. They took about 6-8 hours (of your own time, due by Sunday evening) to complete, once you got the hang of it. I sent them in dutifully every week for yeaaars. Then a colleague of mine confesses that she sends her "plans" (blank document) in every week, but in a password-protected folder. Not once was she questioned about how to get into the file. I started sending in recycled, copy pasted plans every week with new dates, and was never asked about it.

[@starsINSPACE]

omg that makes me so mad that the school admin makes the teachers do all the work when they don't even look at it! I've had so many smart, kind and amazing teachers who had so much on their plate at once that wasting the time of teachers really pisses me off!

[@Qwertylol]

My mother in law is dealing with something similar. She teaches Spanish and French for a middle school and during COVID, she had to develop plans for working online and she was legitimately crying, on the verge of a meltdown almost every week because of how much time it took, and then when classes started going part time in the building, she had to develop plans around that, and it just was terrible, especially because some of the other teachers didn’t put nearly as much time as she did in, but still were given the same feedback as her.

[@empressmarowynn]

Where I used to teach, at the beginning of every school year we were required to submit a list of what professional goals we wanted to achieve. This included how we wanted to fulfill our professional development hours beyond what was provided by the district. Only about half of our hours were provided on PD days so the rest we had to figure out ourselves and in our own time, meaning after hours or during our lunch break. I found a website that offers a crap ton of webinars that would give you the link to the certificate page at the end of the training. Now if you attended them live you had to sit through the whole thing to get the link, but if you chose one that was already done and watched the recording instead you could just skip through to the end, click the link, print, and done. Every now and then I'd find one I was genuinely interested in and legit watched it but otherwise I saved a ridiculous amount of time this way. Also at the end of the year we had to write a reflection essay about what we learned through our various PDs and blah blah blah. I used my essay to rip into my admin because I knew no one was actually reading it. I'd submit it, get a thank you, and that was it every year. Because that's what teachers really need, even more busy work.

[@tb4546]

It really upsets me thinking about the nice teachers I had growing up and how stressed they were about these very documents :(

[@capuchinosofia4771]

​@@empressmarowynnmay i know what website is the one with the online courses?

[@jasonellis4330]

My grandma once saved my mum and her friends from being attacked when they were teenagers, purely because she got a bad feeling out of nowhere and somehow guessed where they'd be. No reason for her to be worried, they weren't late home, it wasn't dark, she just KNEW something was wrong

[@orchdork775]

I need the details!

[@jasonellis4330]

@@orchdork775 Sure! Basically, my mum and her friends (about 16 at the time I think) were walking home from school and decided to go through a local park on the way. When they were there, these guys randomly showed up and started threatening one of the boys in the friend group. Mum says they had a chain they were threatening to beat him with. Now, back at home, my grandma suddenly got an extremely strong feeling that something was wrong. The kids weren't late home or anything, she just knew. So she went to some of the other kids' houses, got their mums too, and somehow just knew exactly where to go to find their kids (I don't think it was a normal route for them). These angry protective mothers showed up just in time to stop anything bad from happening. And we still have no idea how or why she knew any of it, but she's always had a 6th sense like that

[@heyitscarrie8779]

my "leave now" moment: when I was in high school, I was 15, my mom forgot about me at school one night after my volleyball game. it was dark out, like 8pm and I was the only person still on the property. I didn't even have a phone yet and my only choice was to walk home or at least walk to the closest business that would let me use their phone to call my sister or a friend to ask their parents to come get me. It took me an hour to get to the closest gas station from how far it was, and I was still 20 miles from home. But I didn't go inside right away, there were a few cars in the parking lot and I got a bad feeling. I was still in my uniform (which had my name and my school name on it, not to mention the spandex shorts...) and I could see a few guys walking around inside that gave me a bad vibe. I waited for them to leave and then went in, the cashier let me use the phone. it was closing time for the gas station, so apologetically, I couldn't stay there to wait for a ride but I told my friend exactly where to find me and I knew her mom's car so I started walking in the direction of home again. a few minutes later I get another bad feeling and see low lights coming up behind me, but I know it isn't the right car. I turned and sprinted back to the gas station, even left my bag right there on the side of the road. my friend passed the gas station right as I was getting there. The next week, the three guys who were in the gas station and gave me a bad vibe were on the news for the rape and assault of two teen girls. I don't know how I actually ran away, but I did

[@Miracle12348]

Woah that’s scary

[@guszettel3082]

10:52 When I was young an adult was describing a flight of stairs for some reason and used the word 'spiral'. He corrected himself, saying "no, that's a bad word for it". Guess it wasn't really a spiral lol. Anyways, for years I thought spiral was a curse word and avoided using it

[@jadalowman]

Omg 😂😂 that's so funny!! It's crazy how someone can tell us a lie and we'll believe it for so long or we can misinterpret something like you did.

[@RJnottheraccoon]

When Toy Story 3 came out I was 10 years old… I remember the commercial for it came on and there was a line in it where Barbie says to Ken “nice ascot” and then rips it in half or something… anyways I remember when that line was said my friend said “that has a bad word in it!” I was confused so she told me “there is a bad word that rhymes with grass. And they said a word with it in it” so then for a long time I had was worried that I shouldn’t/ couldn’t see the new movie because it said a bad word. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[@jadalowman]

@@RJnottheraccoon that's so cute 😂😂😂😂

[@RJnottheraccoon]

@@jadalowman haha thanks 😂😂

[@ember13dp]

My dad kept quoting a Jim Carrey movie, where he says "Whatever you say, I'm game!" And my dad couldn't remember what he said after "Whatever you say...." so he just let that be the end of his quote and drifted off, and I always thought as a kid that saying "I'm game" was something bad to say.

[@ethanglaeser9239]

I think the job thing is because in a large corporation, oftentimes people don't know what other people do. You have fancy titles, but none of it is actually descriptive. So if someone asks "do you have time to complete this", and you say no, they have no way to know if you are lying. Especially because the "product" of the business isn't a tangible thing, it's a website or "data processing" or something. The more digital work gets, the fewer clues anyone has as to what is being done.

[@jaden_skywalker]

Yeah it's definitely those large coroporations. That probably explains that one person not knowing what they're doing, because they're one of the people who could get by by pretending to work.

[@ryano.5149]

Reminds me of the movie Office Space! A movie that was both a product of, and also apparently ahead of its time! lol I guess corporate bullshit is timeless?

[@ethanglaeser9239]

@@ryano.5149 As long as there is an entity reducing humanity to a series of numbers, corporate bullshit remains alive.

[@ShrankTheFirst]

I spend most of my day idling the time away, looking busy. But once in a while I get called on to unsh*t someone else's pants and save the company thousands. Tally it up, and I earn my paycheck over the year.

[@Qwertylol]

I work at a very large company. My coworker and I serve as a very small sub team as a part of a bigger team. Apparently no one bothered to explain to the rest of my team what we do, but it’s okay. My coworker and I regularly have to reach out to other people in the company to ask them questions, and they will tell us to reach out to a different part of the same team (without actually giving us a name on who we should be reaching out to). Our corporate structure is just so screwed up that you’ll have two people in “networking” under the same manager that have two completely different roles. Most people where I work fit under the description of “if it isn’t explicitly defined in my job role, I’m not doing it, and no, I won’t tell you who to talk to instead.”

[@ari_ari_was_here_]

15:01 Oh, I’ve got a good one for this. Early 2000s, before I was born, my (british) dad had a small tradition of staying in Thailand for christmas. 2004 was no different, he brought my mum and sister and they planned to stay through to the new year, and my dad was never one to take detours or a change of plans. At some point very close to christmas eve, he suddenly woke up and had a feeling that they needed to go back, back to england, back to see his mother. He had heard nothing, had no warning, had no real reason to, but they did anyway. Packed their things and left. Two days, _two days_ later, the 2004 indian ocean tsunami hit the beaches of Thailand where he, my mother and my sister likely would have died or at least been horrifically traumatised.

[@sarascarpati887]

Holy cow!

[@antine1279]

My "leave now" moment: I was doing a semester abroad in Portugal and planned a small trip with friends so went to buy a travel backpack. Bought it, went to the bus stop but as my portuguese was limited and this was pre-supersmartphones, I wasn't sure if I was in the right place or if the bus will come at all. My Portuguese was very limited, and it was out of town, basically on a highway. It was getting dark and I started worrying. A guy came up to me and offered me a lift, I, the idiot, accepted. He seemed normal at first glance and as I was worried I'll be stranded in the middle of nowhere, it seemed like the best option. A few minutes later, we're driving on the highway, I'm looking around, relaxed, and in that moment I get the strongest feeling of "danger". It wasn't fear or anxiety or anything I've ever experienced before, it was like someone sent the word and feeling of "danger" into my whole body and mind. I look towards the guy and I saw an expression I have never seen before. Pure evil. He says something like "I need to go for a pee" and starts driving off the road towards the forest. I start yelling and open the car door (so fucking lucky it wasn't locked!), he hits the breaks and I run out onto the highway. Found a bus stop nearby, got on the bus and got home. That incident was 10 years ago and it still freaks the shit out of me when I think about it. Yes, I was stupid and naive, and I would never ever EVER get into someone's car again. I know 2 things for certain: 1) something horrible would have happened to me, 2) that feeling of "danger" wasn't me. That was help, from somewhere. And that at least gives me comfort.

[@bear9295]

Happy that you're okay ⭐

[@giftofthewild6665]

Wow scary! Glad you listened to your intuition and ran just in time!

[@asilnorahc8910]

I never went into strangers cars, but now as a driver when i see people with their thumbs up by the road, i often stop. Especially if they're young. My mother has told me about her horrible expérience when she did the same mistake you did, so i want to pick up the kids before someone else does. When they come in my car, i tell them that what they're doing could be dangerous, and they often know already, but still do it bc reasons. One day, à girl who needed à lift was on the phone with a friend of hers. When i pulled down my window, she asked me if she could take ma plaque number. I said absolutely yes, and tell her friend on the phone. Good idea! Someone who'd say no to that simple request would be a red flag.

[@DefinitelyAPotato]

Brakes, not breaks.

[@tonygluk1]

Holy shit! I once heard an advice: if you need a lift and a stranger offers you one, decline and just try to thumb a car instead. A person offering a ride may not be a creep, but they have a much higher probability of being one than a random driver from traffic.

[@redshirt49]

I thought Pisces was pronounced piss-kiss until I was 32.

[@insidejoke3223]

I'm a Pisces and now this is the only way I'll pronounce it henceforth

[@upg5147]

​@@insidejoke3223Seconded.

[@gracerose6119]

@@insidejoke3223i agree

[@estellelass7292]

You’re so brave to be so honest about that 😂 honestly English is stupid anyways

[@L3onking]

Urinequarius, Pisskiss... Golden horoscopes

[@kaldo_kaldo]

I had a surgery the other day, and the surgeon - after he cut me open - pulled out a surprise microphone! I didn't even need surgery, it was all a ruse!

[@stephaniemhoover4741]

To be fair about the person worried about the grass puncturing a tire... Maybe as a kid, she had an inflatable pool and the grass grew through it. I've seen that happen within 2 days. She might just have that stuck in her mind, not realizing the thickness of tires?

[@biblioholic7139]

Or someone lied to her when she was learning to drive to prevent her from parking on the lawn.

[@seigeengine]

I kind of forget that when some people say grass they mean some kind of nightmarish plant from hell that eats flesh and breaths fire.

[@stephaniemhoover4741]

@@seigeengine I was debating whether to reply. But I am curious what you mean.

[@seigeengine]

@@stephaniemhoover4741 The grass I am familiar with is very tame. If you said it grew through a pool liner I'd laugh at you.

[@stephaniemhoover4741]

@@seigeengine I'm not sure how thick the big pools are. But it doesn't take much for the kiddie pools. Especially Kentucky Bluegrass.

[@asilnorahc8910]

I have zero sense of danger. I usually go about my life happy go lucky and never realise what danger i could've met. When i was in college, i had DnD every tuesday evening, and i would go home at 2-3am by foot, bc i didn’t live too far. I had to cross a nice park, pleasant at night. One of my DnD buddies, a girl, asked me to walk home with her - she lived not far from me. She said she felt safer walking home accompanied and her BF couldn’t get her that time. I saw no problem with that so i did, then i left her at her place and went to mine. The next day, she sent me a link to an article saying a drunk hobo assaulted someone in the park we crossed that night. Life's weird

[@irishjournalgaming]

My "Leave now" moment: When I was 13, I was really active on discord and talked to lots of people in a server about books and writing. I knew most internet rules and safety, but I had never heard of grooming before. I had no idea what it was, or that that could even happen to people on the internet. I talked to adults quite often, and I started talking to a man who was about 50 years old. I always research people before I talk to them. This man didn't say much in the server, but did do a vent, and he seemed to really want friends. He even had a youtube channel about books, so I thought he was pretty safe and I wanted to help him out. I talked to him in dms for a while, he asked me about my interests, I showed him some of my art, but he never said to much about himself. The only thing I thought was kind of odd, is that when he told me his name (a very generic first name at that), he told me, very sternly, that it was a secret and I could never tell anyone. I thought he was a bit odd, but still not dangerous. Then one day I was talking to him and got a weird feeling that something was off, something wasn't right. So, I talked to a female friend of mine on discord, who was in her twenties then, and she told me to trust my gut. I was hesitant at first, but I did listen to her and block him. After that I googled some stuff and came over an article about grooming and its signs. I compared our conversations, and they had every single sign, in order.

[@jaden_skywalker]

It's a good thing that you had an adult friend you could trust to give you good advice.

[@irishjournalgaming]

@@jaden_skywalker Yeah, it was the only time in my life that I did have a trusted adult to go to. And because of her advice, I was able to block other creeps I've encountered over the years too.

[@S15N51]

@@irishjournalgaming Your older friend sounds like a hero. :)

[@Saknika]

Thank goodness for that adult in your life. I was being groomed at the age of 13 back before Discord, through an online forum and AIM. "Grooming" wasn't even a word I would learn until almost 20 years later, I was sick to my stomach when I realized what had happened. Thankfully, I never gave that person any personal information, before I got tired of the AIM name I had and made a new one (as we often did), and just lost contact. The forum we had connected on was gone (good ol' ProBoards), and so he just sort of disappeared. I shudder to think what might have happened otherwise.

[@BetterCFLOP]

This sounds scary, dude. I’m a minor and my worst fear is becoming friends with someone only to find out they’re a pedophile. I’m really glad you were able to distinguish the signs and get outta there.

[@Kitten2642]

I've been followed almost all the way home before. Always make 3 rights or 3 lefts if you aren't sure. If they're still behind you they're 100% following you because you are going in a circle.

[@elaine5962]

Meanwhile people on roads with turns ending in cul-de-sacs: 🥲

[@Kitten2642]

@@elaine5962 it’s called a u-turn or a 3 point turn. Also you should know your neighborhood well enough to know what roads end in a cul-de-sac???

[@elaine5962]

@@Kitten2642 yeah, it's a pretty long route with dead ends. Not very many turns that work out well.

[@Kitten2642]

@@elaine5962 then you should know by the length of the drive? It sounds like you live in the middle of nowhere where. No one else should be going out there. You keep trying to trip this up, but you aren’t using common sense.

[@elaine5962]

@@Kitten2642 fair point

[@martibee8984]

As a teen, I was with a group of my friends walking down the middle of the road around 3am in the middle of winter. There was a bridge on a curve that when we started to approach I had no cares, but as we started to cross it I got a terrible feeling. I insisted on going onto the sidewalk to look in the water because I didn't want to seem like a "spaz." They weren't going to oblige until the guy that liked me convinced them to. As soon as we got to the sidewalk the dread disappeared, and then a car slid across the icy bridge sideways, and slammed into the church on the other end. We would have looked like bowling pins if we stayed on the bridge. A few years later I was riding along with friends on a short road trip to a city. The truck in front of us was rattling a bit. Could have been a hundred harmless things, but I got that same sense of dread. I told my bf to back away from them, and he did. Suddenly the truck flipped upwards then started doing summersaults into the median. I don't know if we would have hit them when they flipped. I'd certainly hope my bf would have hit the breaks quick enough, but that doesn't mean someone else wouldn't have slammed into us.

[@pumacatmeow]

Dude you are overpowered

[@GamingDeclassified101]

God is good

[@jocomfiresin6982]

Ok but you might have to worry about a final destination happening.

[@martibee8984]

@@pumacatmeow nah. Those are the only times it happened. Glitches in the matrix.

[@martibee8984]

@@jocomfiresin6982 I'm good if it does or doesn't. When it's time to go you get little choice.

[@araeast6923]

The “whole jobs where you really have nothing to do” tends to come down to poor management and people not understanding what your job is. I work as the sole graphic designer for my side of the company I work at, with several bosses coming and going. Lately, I do odd jobs for different people since marketing something is better than marketing nothing, and I’d rather have things to do with my week than wipe my desk down or delete emails. The work I receive tends to have two modes: “everybody panic, we need to get something out RIGHT NOOOOOOW” and “🤷‍♂️”. I cannot tell you the number of times there’s a massive lull in work where I go poking around to see if anyone wants a graphic made, a post drafted, or an email campaign sent.

[@sarahberkner]

Good for you! I'm the same way that I like to have stuff to do. Also, speaking of graphic design I ended up doing that not really by choice, I'm an event planner at a small company and we manage an association, and I updated the outdated-looking event materials, membership brochure, website, and create their biannual newsletter. Some of the old stuff had Comic Sans, ClipArt, and WordArt on it.

[@bramvanduijn8086]

People not understanding what your job is, is more likely as the organisation gets more complex, simply because it is harder to understand. And it is more likely as people are under more stress for longer, simply because they have less capacity for understanding when they're worked so hard.

[@jelly-cl6sq]

I once thought Popeyes was pronounced "Pope-yes"

[@crix_h3eadshotgg992]

It isn’t?

[@83gemm]

That’s awesome

[@a.elsagonzalez6824]

OH MY GOODNESS ME AND MY SIBLINGS CALLED IT THAT FOR FREAKING YEARS AND STILL DO ON OCCASION I THOUGHT WE WERE THE ONLY ONES

[@seigeengine]

Popeno.

[@trashyferret]

I thought it was "poppies" lol

[@straxacore]

I love mayor Wamura. I read up on him when I want to be inspired. That man had vision and determination. Also you don't have to feel sad for him, he knew what he did would save lives. He didn't have to be there to see it, he was 100% sure of himself. "Even if you encounter opposition, have conviction and finish what you start. In the end, people will understand."

[@SilverStarStorm.]

Homie sounds like a national treasure 😭 Honestly the fact that Japan had nothing protecting Fudai, despite a precedent of tsunami tragedy, and yet Kotoku Wamura was laughed at for constructing preventative measures - wild. Reminds me of all the wild engineering that had to be done to reclaim land, and protect the existing land from flooding in the Netherlands, and yet as far as I've heard the dutch are complacent and not enough is being done to maintain this infrastructure :'p From 3 separate dutch friends I've heard there's anticipated to be a catastrophic flood within 20 the next years. That and the Additionally (double checked number on wikipedia), way back in the 2010 tests of the 3500 km of dikes, 800 km of them failed to meet the test norm :'p Now sure, standards have become stricter in the recent years, but the conditions have also become more demanding, and these norm's are directly based on scientific research results.

[@hunterbletz998]

I like how when talking about being unable to surf, Daniel compares his athleticism to a pikachu, one of the few Pokémon to have canonically surfed on a board

[@math1937]

Not the scariest “I need to leave” gut feeling, but one time I was walking my dog along the street my house was on. It’s pretty long and has two stretches where it’s just forest on either side, really beautiful and fantastic for when you want to just be by yourself for a bit. At one point, there’s a slight clearing where there aren’t any trees and there’s a lot of sunlight as a result, but there’s still vegetation that’s at least 8 or 9 feet tall. It’s usually one of the prettiest parts of the road, but this time while walking my dog, as I got closer, something felt _very wrong_ about that clearing. Overall I just felt a sense of dread, but there was a faint twinge of a feeling that I was being watched. After about 10 seconds of my gut SCREAMING at me to turn around and go home, I finally did. A week or two later, my dad told me that while driving along that road, he saw police searching that clearing. I never got any more info about what happened there afterwards which is why I say it wasn’t the scariest, but I do definitely think I avoided something bad that day.

[@ProfessorMonstru]

Some of these hit hard, especially the "something's wrong, but I just don't know what" type of posts. I personally don't think there's anything supernatural going on. I think this is why anxiety exists. Anxious people (like myself) are constantly running SIMs in their mind, what things could happen, what could go wrong, etc, to the point where it drives us mad and interferes with normal brain processes and human functions. When you have the disorder (like me), you see this simulator overperforming, but I think to some extent, the majority of humans do this without even realizing it. We may not be consciously perceiving something specifically dangerous in our surroundings, but the little man behind the curtain in our brains is taking notes on everything and determined that there is significant danger, i.e. "spidey sense gets tripped". It's a very spooky and uncomfortable feeling indeed, but it can really save your life. A personal experience of this I have is from a night back in 2012 or so that I went shopping at a local franchise store very late after I got off of work from my waitressing job. I didn't really have to buy anything specific, but I felt that I needed to walk for a bit and shrug off some of the stress of the work day. So I got a cart and was just meandering down random isles in the store to pass the time and let my mind come down a bit. A guy I never met before came up and started flirting with me. I was polite to him because he was acting so nicely toward me, but I wasn't looking to seriously entertain him because I was already seeing someone and, in fact, living with my partner at the time. The guy kept trying to pressure me to give him my phone number, so after trying to dodge it and him circling back to it over and over, I finally gave him my number one digit off at the end. He put it in his phone and immediately tried calling me. Apparently he was wise to the trick, since he tried a digit up and down at the end until he got it right, then told me, "Oh, you must have misremembered your number, but looks like I got it," with a smile, as my phone started going off in my purse. I felt my blood go cold at that moment, though I didn't know why. He HAD been a bit pushy, but he had still been nothing but nice and was all smiles. When he started trying to pressure me to go to his house "for a nightcap", I figured I needed to blow this joint ASAP. I told him I'd consider it and get back to him in a few minutes, but that I needed to use the restroom because I'd had quite a lot of soda on my work shift and forgot to go potty before I left work. I booked it to the bathrooms and waited for one of the workers to come in and clean. I was in there about ten minutes before a store worker came in. I rushed up and told this sweet old lady what was going on and how nervous and weird I felt about it. She told me she would page someone to distract the guy, so they could get me out of the store safely, and that's exactly what they did. I'm not sure what they approached him with, but when I left the restroom, they ushered me through a back door and out the employee entrance, walked me all the way to my car. As I locked my doors to secure myself, I saw who I can only assume was the store manager or something, talking to the creepy guy near the registers. He looked out the front windows at that moment, but I don't know if he could see me. It felt like he could though. I felt so afraid. I sped off, breaking every speed limit to get home, checking my rearview constantly to make sure I wasn't being followed. I told my partner about the incident when I got home, and they reassured me that while it came off as creepy, maybe he just thought I was pretty and was trying to shoot his shot. He tried texting and calling me several times, and I worked up the courage to block the number about a week after the incident. I tried very hard to put it from my mind but didn't go back that store for several months. About half a year later, I was making dinner and watching the news when his face popped up on screen as someone who had been recently apprehended for serial sexual assault in the area. I'll never forget how that made me feel. My blood felt icy, and I knew I had dodged a bullet. What he had done to others was most likely what he would have done to me. Listen to your gut, people.

[@mostlyghostey]

I dated a boy who once believed that tectonic plates didn’t exist. And as science teacher at the time that is where I ended the relationship.

[@codym9653]

That bridge story gave me chills, man. You never know what can happen just a few minutes from home.

[@paulsmith410]

I remember reading one post where this young woman started a new job and the management kept postponing orientation and training. She did her part, constantly requesting instruction and was consistently ignored. Months went by and the company kept paying her to do nothing, never giving her any work assignments. Absolutely baffling.

[@emrahalien2972]

i mean man i want that job

[@MsSmontalvo]

When i was about 8 or 9 (late 90's), my family went to visit a friend's new house. It was kind of out in the country, and the closest neighbor had horses. So my mom let my sisters and i stay outside to look at them. After a while, my sisters went inside to play, but i stayed watching the horses. I'll never forget the moment, so many subconscious responses at once: the hair at the back of my neck standing, very intense fear, and just this like blank, panic-white DANGER, RUN! screaming in my head. The horses were totally calm and there were no loud sounds or anything, but i just whirled around and bolted toward the house. Our minivan was closer, so i climbed up on the roof. Im still not sure how i managed that, i was pretty small. Anyway, i hadn't been up there 2 seconds before a very vicious pack of dogs slammed into the side of the van, jumping and snarling, trying to get at me. I finally started screaming for my mom. Im not sure what happened after that, although im pretty sure she called the police. Our friends had little kids, too, so i cant imagine they took that calmly. Everyone was ok, fortunately. Later, we found out the dogs belonged to a different neighbor, and had killed someone's cows. Plural! I love dogs, but at that point i dont know why no one had called animal control before. If any of the other kids had been outside, im sure one of us would've been ripped apart that day.

[@diamondguy6192]

I once was with my family near the bottom of a cascade taking a break, we thought it was safe cause the cliff was a bit far. At one point I told my parents that we should probably move to get behind a big tree, they agreed, wanting me to feel safe. About 5 minutes later a big rock detached itself from the top of the cliff, fell and hit the slope above where we were and most of the rocks that came after it shattered went straight to were we were and the rest hit the tree we were behind. We would have gotten hit, idk if badly injured, but it did scare us.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

I fully expected you to pull a surprise microphone out of the leg of your shorts when you showed us "all that skin."

[@rawilliams5881]

That's not a microphone.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

@@rawilliams5881 In the words of George Takei, "Oh myyy!"

[@derfelkardan7369]

A flesh microphone

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

@@derfelkardan7369 Is that not how karaoke is supposed to go? I think I've been misled...

[@lindz758]

I once dated a guy who genuinely asked me where pickles came from. When I told him they came from cucumbers he had the most blank look on his face and was so surprised and confused. How can someone make it into adulthood without knowing this?

[@blackforestwaltz]

Nah I can see that. Unless it says specifically on the jar that it’s cucumber (or has a very specific picture on the label) or you don’t actively make pickles yourself, I could see someone not finding out for a long time. I didn’t know until I was a teenager because I happened to ask my mom. Maybe if the guy was like… 40 or something at the time, that would be a little strange, but still not super questionable

[@csk24816]

It's the lucky 10,000 rule (XKCD).

[@lkf8799]

I've seen adults realize in real time on KZbin videos. It's hilarious 😂 Had a woman not know that prunes were plums a few months ago and she was like 60.

[@lindz758]

@blackforestwaltz ya I guess, I grew up cooking and gardening so I suppose it seemed like common knowledge to me!

[@antine1279]

I know someone who was shocked to hear raisins are dried grapes. I get why, but I still find it hilarious

[@opechatka]

I always get so worked out by the "doing nothing at my job". People who do everything and don't even have time to take a toilet break always have lower payment than managers who sit on their butts the whole day. Services, janitors, teachers and doctors (in my country), they are less payed but they work more.

[@Narnia1963]

I like the mountains. You can hear bears. You can’t hear sharks.

[@Emnms68]

Yes you can, silly. They go “dun dun dun dun dun-dun dun-dun dundundundun dununah!”

[@jameson1239]

I woke up and got out of my tent to a wolf 10 feet away you cannot here them

[@juice2307]

I love how people come in here with anecdotal stories of how they did not hear something, and then they act as if their anecdotal experience makes their erroneous conclusion true. You can usually hear bears, wolves, etc…. provided that the circumstances do not involve something that would impair your focus and or hearing (conversations, having just woken up, etc.) This was probably the most Reddit KZbin comment thread I have ever seen.

[@jameson1239]

@@juice2307 bears and wolves have to sneak up on things that have far better senses then we do you won’t hear them unless they want you to

[@joshuasgameplays9850]

@@juice2307 Are you gonna link a study or something my dude? anecdotal evidence is better than no evidence.

[@victoriablake3826]

I was working on the Tempest for a class once and the guy I was dating asked ‘he (Shakespeare) is American, right?’ I tried to laugh it off as some sort of verbal typo. “So what sort of stuff does he write?” “…..Plays? Like… Romeo and Juliet?” “Yeah but like what genre?” Such a beautiful man, nothing behind the eyes.

[@Cutiemuffinz]

I’ve had several. There was one that was my mom’s, not mine, but it was at me. My sister and I were mid-teens, just developed but still children at heart, and we were at a beach playing in the sand. We had a room in a motel with beach-front property, and just enjoying the sunset and evening, having a great time. My mom clocked a strange clearly older man walking on the beach. As he got nearer, it was clear he was making straight for us. All she said was in a terse voice: “girls? Come in now.” We hopped up like we had been electrocuted and came inside immediately, no fussing or arguing, the voice just short-circuited any teen drama and we were gone. She told us afterwards what she had registered: we will never know if anything truly was off, but then we will never have been put in the position to find out. We will never know if there was anything up, but that

[@Gimbleson]

Intuition is such a cool yet scary thing. I remember a few months, maybe almost year ago, my dad was working on something on one of those sawing tables. While he was cutting up some wood, I felt an immense desire, and need, to take a few steps to the left. Not 5 seconds go by, and the blade catches the side of the plank, and sends it flying into the wall (where I had originally been standing). It wouldn’t have killed me or anything too bad, but it’s still nuts that I was able to avoid ANY injuries over just a feeling.

[@Kaph181]

This reminds me of the time when i was swimming in a beach and all of sudden i started feeling like i was literally starving, so i came out of the water to get some food and then less than two minutes after i got out there was a huge crocodile right where i was

[@playonlinegames6418]

​@@Kaph181feel the pain of others... literally

[@nohwth]

there are many benefits to being a marine biologist

[@summernovah]

Amen. Need that reddit story posted on tumblr so someone can add the "many benefits" image beneath it

[@KooblyK]

We didn't even touch on the fact that that one guy also thinks women PEE OUT OF THEIR VAGINAS I'm crying 😭

[@PinkJelly-zb5gg]

They do?

[@Sopsy_Hallow]

@@PinkJelly-zb5gg are you saying women pee out of their vaginas or questioning whether or not they do. they dont, i mean, ig you could say its semantics a bit, since their urethra (peehole) is very close to the the vagina hole, and you could argue that the whole region is the vagina not just the hole, but i think most people would say that they dont pee out of their vaginas

[@cortster12]

Technically, they do not, but practically they almost do. The urethra is in a spot that could still be defined as the vagina. It's similar to how chickens dedicate out their anus, but they also have a cloaca where their anus and sexual organs are inside. And just like how people not experienced in chickens are not aware of this, males who aren't taught proper female anatomy, and who likely haven't seen a spread vulva in real life, won't know how things down there work. Granted, the urethra for female humans is on what I would consider the outside, only hidden by the labia, but I could see how the mistake in terminology could be made. I don't really blame them too much. What would be odd is if a women didn't know males urinate from the penis, as penises are much simpler to understand than the female reproduction system. As it's all out in the open.

[@PinkJelly-zb5gg]

@@cortster12 oh I didn’t know that, thanks

[@maryamshaaban74]

I was almost kidnapped at 4. I remember my dad clearly telling me not to leave KG unless he or mom personally come to pick me up. My KG hours were much shorter than my mom and dad's work hours. So I had to wait around 2-3 hours until they'd come. A man once came in a white car, dressed smartly telling me my dad would be working late so he sent him to get me. I asked him how he knew since I'd been to my dad's work and know all his coworkers. He said he was a new hire at my dad's school, he gave me the school name and the coworkers names but It made him seem more suspicious. I felt like I'd be in danger if I tried to run or scream so I cheerfully said: yeah, I'll come. Just let me grab my bag from inside. I walked in slowly, didn't run and hid in one of the rooms praying he wouldn't have the courage to come look for me. He walked in and took a peak but didn't go far enough inside to find me.

[@MiotaLee]

Gut instincts are no joke.

[@jameswatts6787]

Scariest thing that screamed "Leave now": My sister and I were out with our dog at the time and we both heard our mums voice call out our names and followed by "Come home please". We both called her and asked if she had called us, and she said no. We checked out call history and nothing. We heard the exact same thing, in the exact same voice and tone. We got home as quickly as possible, and have only ever spoken about it twice in over 15 years. Obviously we were kids at the time (9 and 11 ish) so it scared us

[@upg5147]

You say you both called her so I assume you mean on the phone since you bring up your call history later, but why would you call her on your phone when you heard her call out to you in person?

[@jameswatts6787]

​@@upg5147 Yeah so if I can recall, we called her on the phone and checked call history to make sure she hadn't called and maybe one of us had accidentally picked up accidentally while walking. This is obviously a bit rough because it was about 16 years ago, and my memory isn't great at the best of times

[@upg5147]

@@jameswatts6787 Oh so she wasn't around you at all and you assume you heard her on your phone, like you butt dialed her or something so you called back and she said no. Is that right? That's some skin walker shit. It sounds like it was the middle of the day. What season was it? Do you live in a rural or urban area? It's especially wild that whatever it was knew both of your names.

[@jameswatts6787]

​​​@@upg5147 Yeah she was maybe half a mile or so up the road at home and we had assumed we accidentally called her, or she called and not noticing, we accidentally picked up, hence checking call logs etc. we had also asked if she was home, and she did say yes (Again, very sorry, my memory is atrocious). It was a pretty large, rural village in the UK. No idea what season but my guess would probably end of summer early autumn

[@upg5147]

@@jameswatts6787 Being UK changes things a bit because the types of Skin Walkers I know of are Mexican and Native American monsters, but I assume you have an equivalent. But yeah being in a rural area checks out with that idea. Scary stuff. Did you remember if you dog reacted at all? Growling, tail between legs, barking, ect.

[@elaexplorer]

As a programmer, I had completed everything that was in my section of the software. Had gone through and completed every wish from customers for my section. I also wrote comprehensive manuals on how every function in my section of the software worked and made sure the customer support had access to them. I had absolutely nothing to do. I had to be in the building for 8 hours a day and spent most of my time walking around and socializing with other staff.

[@Saknika]

The momma spidey-sense ones gave me chills. Been there. I was in a mall once doing some shopping, very small mall fwiw because it wasn't in a major city, and I just got the feeling I needed to leave. Felt a lot like an anxiety attack, but I listened regardless. Not 10min after I had left my Dad called to ask where I was. Turns out someone pulled a gun out in the mall, and I had just missed it. Security (and then police) subdued the person very quickly so no one was hurt, but still freaky.

[@An_even_fuller_sun]

I've gotten that bad feeling before and been right: Like 6 years ago my mom and I were driving on the highway when I suddenly got a really bad feeling and said "this is going to sound weird but something feels wrong. I have a really bad feeling" and my mom was basically like "um what?" And then a few moments later an ambulance sped by us and we hit a wall of traffic. When we finally moved up and could see what happened there was a car completely flipped upside down in the middle of the road and another car close by with paramedics and police everywhere. My bad feeling didn't make a difference for us as we were never in danger but it was definitely a strange moment.

[@taylormccoy7492]

Insofar as the whole jobs where people don't do much or anything all day, a lot of that has to do with the competency of management. For instance, I am a data analyst, which is a pretty niche skill set. Nobody else at my company has my skill set. Because of that, nobody really knows how much work I'm doing. They have no clue how long it should take me to do anything. This happens a lot in corporate. The larger a company gets, the more often it happens, due to more opportunity for mismanagement. So you get bloat jobs that don't really need to get done over time. If the managers actually understand how much work needs to get done and know how long that work should take, you won't see nearly as much of it.

[@LuisCParra]

15:06: I'll share mine because I always feel like a crazy guy whenever I tell people this happened and they don't believe me. I live in Colombia, a seaside city specifically. And when this happened I think it was right at the time when the paramilitar groups and las farc (terrorist) were still active. I lived right in front of an old apartment complex built in a horrible terrain and the supports were so old most of them were falling apart and so the residents were asked to leave. I used to live in that apartment complex, so when I told three of my friends (We'll call them Peach, Fermin, and Guti, don't ask, those were their nicknames) that I lived there, they asked if I could get them inside, and I said yes. Keep in mind that the complex's supporting columns were still holding the apartments and because of that, a lot of residents decided to not leave, because they wanted to get paid first (That was their house just like it was my parents, they paid for the apartment and to be told to leave immediately without them paying you, I understand wanting to stay) We went there and instead of going in through the main gate we took a dangerous hill path that gave you easy entrance to the parking lot, the reason we did that was because we didn't want to answer questions from the residents as what we were doing, and even though I knew most of the people who still lived there, they already had to endure crazy robbery and theft attempts, so yeah, a group of 4 teenagers walking inside a complex that is supposed to fall down one of this days just to explore? We thought we could get in trouble. We went directly to the most run-down part of the apartment complex, blocks 1 and 2, which had to be left at the time because of terrible housing conditions in comparison to the other blocks. There, we checked some of the empty apartments until we ran into one in particular, one that had a wall full of papers describing how to shoot a sniper, how to kill a man with a bullet to the head from a really long distance, and photos of two people wearing military uniforms. We went silent, we didn't know what to do, we either thought it was a terrorist plot to kill high-ranking officials or the other way, the government wanted to kill terrorists in secret. Peach wanted us to get out of there immediately while Fermin, Guti, and I wanted to read all of the papers, and at one point we all came to the same conclusion for whatever reason "Let's shred all of the papers". We tore down the whole wall (of papers) and ran down the stairs as fast as we could, making sure no one saw us and when we got out of the complex, we spread all of the pieces in different garbage bins. A couple of hours later, I finally decided to go back home and when I did, my mom was fuming, asking if I went inside the complex or was anywhere near it, I lied, obviously, and then she told me that our neighbor had seen a man peeking from the windows of one of the apartments of block 2 and that she saw he had a shotgun with him. I told my friends the next day and we all agreed to just stay quiet about it for the time. Seriously it was so scary for me at the time and most people call me a liar when I tell this story.

[@jameswatts6787]

So in the UK it's "Never Eat Shredded Wheat"

[@QUEERVEEART]

in usa east coast i learned Never Eat Sour Wheat

[@ireallydidntwanttomakeanac575]

Australia here. We call it "Never Eat Soggy Weet-bix"

[@Your4Local4Geek]

I've heard "never enter Santa's workshop"

[@OneSillyBoi]

@@ireallydidntwanttomakeanac575 im from the uk and also say this lol

[@indigovae3579]

So glad I'm not the only brit here!

[@T3rm1nat0rtim-qw9du]

The fact that you swear in these vids but not in your skits completely throws me off but your still a great content creator

[@Megalodon_561]

It's what makes him even more chaotic lol

[@T3rm1nat0rtim-qw9du]

😂haha fr

[@sophiel787]

And he bleeps them off so we don’t have to worry about anyone hearing

[@T3rm1nat0rtim-qw9du]

Haha

[@T3rm1nat0rtim-qw9du]

Mom I ain't please not the belt oh wait you'll never find out

[@EveloGrave]

My North South East West little saying is "Nitrogen, Electric, Slimy, Worms" idk why I chose that as a child but it has stuck with me since I learned about the cardinal directions.

[@jeddybear5909]

I'm from Australia and we use "Never, Eat, Soggy, Weetbix" (in before anyone asks, it's just a cereal, they are basically little "bricks" of compressed wheat).

[@MrsAnnThropy]

mine is “never eat shredded wheat” for some reason

[@Saknika]

Mine is knowing North is up, South is down, and it spells "WE" in the middle.

[@misstressfoxtail05]

@@MrsAnnThropy I use this one too.

[@shiina29]

@14:45 Mahler's symphonies were not well accepted but he said they would be loved in the future and, indeed, they are. Look up any top ten list of most popular/best/most-frequently played-at-concerts symphonies and you will find 2 or 3 of his symphonies there. If you're not a classical music fan, though, you've probably never heard of him. It's an interesting phenomenon.

[@calvinadinaro2367]

Bro really got me with the surprise microphone

[@akihiromarlon7090]

A little late, but about the listening to your gut section When I was around 12-13ish, we were about to go to our weekly swim practice, and we had road construction down the regular route we took to get there, so we had to take a back way that went beside some major memorial That week, as we were prepping to go, i suddenly burst out into tears and threw myself onto the bed, wailing like a toddler that i wouldn't go, don't make me go, etc. My mom eventually kinda threw her arms up in frustration at my behavior, said "fine," and got me some lunch as i wrapped myself in a blanket and tried to calm down 20-30 minutes later, about when we would have been by that memorial, a deadly crash showed up on the local news, killing almost everyone involved besides like 1-2 people From now on, I've made it a self-rule to listen to a kid's gut, because i swear they have some kind of magic psychic danger detection system lol

[@joycehammond7062]

I've definitely had some gut monents where I knew I was in a bad situation. One of my earliest memories of this is when I was patting this dog that was with this man, probably at least 20 years older than me. He got on the phone and told me I could just keep patting the dog. I got a bad feeling as soon as he got on the phone and as soon as he looked away I bolted. I didn't get an explanation for whst could have happened, but I have gone against my intuition once before and had a pedophile try and kiss me while trapped in a car, so I definitely know those spidey senses work.

[@nicjoy4407]

Speaking of following people, my friends play a really stupid game where they go into downtown of the biggest city around, and they find a red car on the street, and they follow that car until they see another red car and then they follow them, and they do this until they follow someone to their house. Nothing has happened to them, but I haven't been in any of their cars since.

[@NoiseDay]

Gross. Sounds like a group of people with very little empathy.

[@Ninjakitsune978]

At my grandmas (in the boonies) is a train crossing right by her house. The trains are super fast, so if you see or hear it, I doubt you could dodge. But they are like twice a day. So for the longest time there was only a light warning you. My brother and I were playing behind the tracks, when we decided to go home. My brother said he was going to look out for a train and I was to watch for the light. He didn't trust the light to show a train coming for some reason. He looked for a few seconds and said: No train coming. Let's cross! In that moment the light started to flash and I yelled out before he could even set a foot forward: No, the light is flashing! My brother instantly froze and not 5 seconds later a train came out of nowhere and raced past us. Our hearts were racing. If the lights had turned on a second later or if we ignored it... It's been years, but I still remember this strong fear, this urgency to check the light again. That light wasn't around when my mom was little and she wasn't allowed to cross it alone. She did once and got the beating of a lifetime. Never did that one again. Nowadays there is all the fancy protection stuff a city train crossing typically has.

[@vafaerien]

I was going to cross the street with two of my friends to get snacks. The street wasn't necessarily busy, and we had our pedestrian light. No cars were coming. It was broad daylight and seconds before walking off, i had the instinctive urge to grab my friends and pulled them away from the road as a prius silently raced passed us, running a red light at like, 70 mph. Never heard it coming, and i consider us lucky to still have even been able to get snacks today

[@Ki-KisWorld]

r/confessions *Daniel Thrasher made me addicted to Reddit*

[@ninawink8973]

Speaking from experience, most people who are ending their morning shift of MANY jobs that want you to clean your mess before you leave- leave that cleaning to the night crew. Not sure if they assume that closing the store isn't any *harder* with their additional chores. Also unsure if morning workers just get taught this by others or they just slowly stop doing those chores and assume it doesn't make night crews hate them. XD I have seen it many times, experienced it as a night shift worker and saw it as the day shift worker many times over

[@MissJasmine305]

I work in a bakery and morning shift (including the manager) tend to leave *all* of their dishes for me and the other closers to do without batting and eye. To make matters worse, if the bakery isn't spotless in the morning then we get chewed out but the openers are apparently allowed to leave all their work areas a complete mess. Shit's annoying af

[@moomoocow73]

I feel mocked by your fake sneeze because I was organising some really dusty books.

[@Retro-Rambles]

A few years back my boyfriend and I were supposed to go to a fair, but despite really looking forward to it I didn't want to go that day, something didn't feel right. So we agreed not to go, and that night a tornado blew through the fair and tore the whole thing apart. We would've been right in the middle of it if we went. Absolutely crazy.

[@calmingdreams]

Worked an office job for 4 years. Had no clue what was going on or what the company did. Developed back problems from sitting all day. Quit because I was bored and the people were shitty. Now I work manual labor and am so much more happier/fulfilled.

[@brycevining4500]

My father is a pilot and has 6 children though maybe that’s because he is a conservative Christian who did not believe in birth control with my mother.

[@probrosau]

In Australia, we use "Never Eat Soggy Weetbix" for NESW

[@deesbees9626]

In the states (or maybe just my school?) We learned "Never Eat Spoiled Watermelon." Still use it to this day, I'm absolutely terrible with directions.

[@Jigglypowerpuffgirl]

As someone who works retail the not working posts blow my mind. I work my ass off, but I prefer that to doing nothing all day. I’ve worked “busy” desk jobs and I lost my mind.

[@CateForrest]

Oh man I had that horrible dread feeling once when I came to a stop on a road for a train up ahead, but I was sitting in a blind curve. It got to the point the feeling was completely unbearable and I made a uturn to get away from there. Yeah. Someone took the turn too fast and wasn’t able to stop in time before slamming into the cars sitting waiting.

[@fenix3872]

I’m currently volunteering for a charity. I could also not be there, no one would notice. I sit at Reception with my colleagues and do crosswords. Everyone around be is constantly complaining about how busy they are and how much work they have. I asked for work about 3 times a day, I started automating and fixing excel sheets (also you should not need a volunteer to show you that the numbers in your expenses and income sheet are wrong), re did presentations since they were just horrible. No one cared. I stopped to care, and no one seemed to notice

[@Gelatyn]

2:34 Is it weird that I think this is actually a bop?

[@ripvanwinkle3259]

yes.

[@M_I_A_]

My man… I’m gonna being real honest with you for a second now. So sit down and listen carefully. What you will read now, will shock you. It will shake you to your core and grasp your very heart. Be ready, and don’t waver in the face of danger! Prepare yourself and listen with care, for what you will soon come to understand WILL change you. Ok, so, here we go. Now that you are prepared for what is to come, I’m going to be real with you… just for a moment. You ask if it’s weird to like this music? And… my answer to that… is…no, it f*cking slaps!

[@S15N51]

@@M_I_A_ Me trying to reach the required word count for my essays:

[@AndaraBledin]

I was followed like that, once. Drove past the house, then pulled up in front of the local Sheriff's office, and the truck pulled right in behind us and just sat there for like 10 minutes. I wasn't alone, so I sent my partner in to talk to the police inside. Several minutes later, the truck pulled out and drove off, and I have no idea what the hell was going on, there. The only other time I was followed like that was super-obvious, because the guy was road raging and pulled a super-illegal move to follow me off the freeway. So, I pulled off the freeway an exit earlier than I normally would and he pulled a stunt to follow me, so I drove over to the nearby cop shop out in front of the college I lived near. I'd taken that exit specifically so it'd be easy to do that. I watched him slow, then realize where I was, and just drive on past. I gave it a good ten minutes before heading the rest of the way home.

[@Galactic_Orca]

I love the little jingles you make up for these

[@noahsterben5666]

18:00 I believe these are moments where the brain picks up on small details subconsciously that are not fully noted in consciousness. Think of it like how nothing happens in isolation, a series a chain reactions follow any action. Most things we don’t focus on but can still take in store within thinking much of actively. Thus we can focus on tasks in front of us but be ready for a potential danger that isn’t in front of us or could be avoided

[@Unknown_definitely]

2:39 nah not that b boiyoyyoyyoing

[@mysticmoone7659]

10:00 Fun fact! The vagina can, in fact, be removed! It is not part of a hysterectomy, as those just remove the uterus, or a total hysterectomy, as those remove the uterus, the fallopian tubes, and ovaries. This is often done when a trans man or afab nonbinary person wants lower surgery, so that is removed and the opening of where it once was is then shut

[@neurodivercyndi]

Radical hysterectomies also remove part of the vagina.

[@anonymousonyx7755]

yeah it's horrific and definitely breaks the Hippocratic oath

[@alakani]

​@@anonymousonyx7755 That applies to the patient, not their stalkers lol

[@anonymousonyx7755]

@@alakani yeah ofc it applies to the patient??? Literally who else would it??? I wish them all luck in suing corrupt doctors into oblivion

[@alakani]

@@anonymousonyx7755 You weren't going to get it anyway, consentually. Mind your business and try an apple pie?

[@mostlyghostie]

That story about the cars that drove into a flooded bridge is Horrifying. I experienced something similar about last year or so. My mom is a door dasher, and I often join her while she’s dashing cause I get dj privileges, which is always fun. This one night, it’s late, it’s storming hard. All the better for orders, but of course, inconvenient. Our area can be really hilly, and after my mom finished a drop-off at someone’s house a while after the rain had stopped, she started driving to get back on a main road. As we’re driving towards a bridge that would’ve taken us there, there’s a car stopped on the other side of the road, the driver standing out of it trying to wave us down. We didn’t stop but we slowed down*, and we soon saw why they were trying to stop us. Almost immediately after we passed them, we came to what looked like a full lake, right ? Like I know my memory might be exaggerating how it actually looked but it was DEEP. The area was so flooded it went well into the woods on either side. We couldn’t even really see the other side of the bridge ( besides the vague indication that it was there ). She backed up, did a three point turn, and drove away from the bridge. I haven’t thought about that night since, honestly. We were both really bewildered after that. We were worried about someone coming in from the other side and getting stuck, because it was so late, the road wasn’t blocked yet, obviously. It’s really scary to think that if that person hadn’t warned us, we would’ve most likely ended up underwater, or at least the car would’ve. We passed the favor forward and warned another car that was driving toward the bridge, but man.🧍‍♂️ *To be very transparent about this: my memory’s a little fuzzy, so we might’ve actually stopped for the car that was warning us, but i remember driving past.

[@minimalgrammar1276]

Doing martial arts because it turns you on isn't weird or wrong in and of itself. I respect that dude for quitting when it got a little too weird, though.

[@kedaousadama]

Easy job haver here; I work security, specifically office security. I’ve transitioned to swings, so I meet more people during the work days as they leave the office. All I do is “watch” cctv, occasionally looking up in the dock area and other problem area where loiterers like to loiter at and then continue watching KZbin or playing phone games. I only go on a few exterior patrols and one interior patrol once the office closes. 95% of my job is sitting on my ass. 3% is taking a nice long walk outside, enjoying the weather and then the last few is dealing with smaller issues and the very rare and occasional emergency. (Water leakage, work place fighting, a toaster fire) in the years I’ve worked security, I’ve only had to call the police/ems on one hand for major emergencies. Non-emergency lines I call at least once a month on vagrants who won’t leave the property, and at this rate, I usually bluff that I’m even calling them and they leave once they think I’m talking to a dispatcher. Extremely easy job. I’ve picked up back my writing, where before this job I didn’t have time for it, but now with all this free time, and I look much busier, I should have my first book out before the end of the year! (Hopefully haha) I’m also an illustrator and have gotten very good drawing on my phone with only my finger. I get to be creative, active, in a job that is the least stressful thing and I get paid really really well. I also take up a lot of overtime at other sites my company has for even more easy money, and sometimes, those places are even easier here! No patrols, just a DAR and yeh occasional loiterer on the property I ask to leave. So easy. I will say though, not all security companies are the same. I work for a small local security company that only operates out of the state and only a couple of cities in the metro area. Our company has the highest rates and the best reviews out of all the other national ones. Stay away from Allied and Secuirtos and other national security. I’m also unarmed, armed security gives you the bigger bucks, but way more stress.

[@seqka711]

I work in an office job, and while I am not guilty of it, I see the incompetence happen. It's the result of a sort of domino effect from bad training in the first 6 months. Most office jobs are complicated enough that training takes months, not weeks. But the people who are the most qualified to train others are also the most busy themselves. People get poor training, but by the first few months, are unable to ask basic questions since they can't reveal that they didn't know something so basic already. They get a reputation internally for being incompetent and the hard workers simply don't want to bother with asking for help from someone who would be more trouble than help, so they're never asked to take on more projects. They sit there with their thumb in their ass instead because it's more trouble than its worth to even talk to them. Why aren't they fired? It can be difficult to justify firing someone. Work is getting done, usually by the hyper competent people. But it's being done by "Team A". So even if Team A has 2 people doing real work and 3 people not doing real work, it would be more trouble for leader of Team A to fire one of the incompetent people, since then they'd have to train someone new, which again, they don't have time for. If they had time for it, they would have trained the incompetent people correctly in the first place. It's even worse if the new person isn't a real new person, but someone transferred from another department, which is actually more common. The people who are annoying, difficult to train and deliberately play dumb get transferred from department to department until they get transferred to a manager who has the patience to undergo the long journey of actually getting someone fired from an office job. This requires either making a business case that paying them severance would be cheaper than continuing to employ them for no benefit, or a very long process of continually creating tests for them to fail so that you can adequately prove they can be fired with cause. You can see why just transferring them around is a lot easier for managers. By this point, the incompetent people feel a sort of security. At this point, doing more would simply highlight their own inability, so they work to do as little work as possible. when someone tries to find time to teach them, they start playing dumb. I was once determined to get one of our team members up to snuff. He was impossible. He played dumber than a brick. He as once told to train with me, so I went to him and said "it's time to train" and he refused. Saying he couldn't be bothered to learn "such an annoying skill". He once said to my face that he was just buying time for his severance. And he got it too.

[@kyleelkins6602]

That was a masterclass surprise microphone

[@M_I_A_]

I just now noticed Daniels eye-color. Is it yellow? ‘cause they looks SICK!!

[@anonymous-yk9sz]

I’m pretty sure they’re kinda grey/blue, but I could totally see how they look yellow

[@LoveyDoveyWings]

@@anonymous-yk9sz they're actually green.

[@csk24816]

Um, maybe consider taking a colorblindness test? Not a doctor, but I found Deuteronopia on google and it makes greens look like yellow.

[@xHondjerex]

I was out for a walk with my best friend, we do that a lot, always in the same city. All of a sudden I get this really uncomfortable feeling of being unsafe, but nothing really happened. When we got home, I googled if there was anything, and some guy had shot someone and fled in the direction of where we were walking. Also gut instinct with bad people is a really good one, don't ever ignore that shit.

[@WasababyCheese]

Never Eat Soggy Waffles is new, I always heard Never Eat Shredded Wheat or Never Entertain Sexy Women growing up-

[@HachiKintsugi]

I don't remember that as I was very young at the time (young enough to still be using the child seat in the car anyway). Probably before my 4th birthday as my parents were still together. My dad wanted to take me with him in the car to go see his mom for the mother's day. My mom refused, saying she didn't felt it. Something was off and she refused I'd go with him. She even try to make him stay. He still left and go to his mom. On his way there, he had an accident and made barrels on the mountainside for a long time. Result, all the car's rear was crushed like a can of coke. Even more so where I was supposed to be. He also had a tool box and it opened during the barrels and if the crush part didn't killed me, the flying tools would have! My dad was alright, hurt but alive and he still is now. Short story short: I always following the instinct of my mom even tho we're at the opposite of the country from one another... and I'm glad I have the same instinct (be it about people or places) as well as I would have die multiple times after that

[@mjfanta1915]

When I was about 7 I leaned into this bit where I told my parents I had to put pepper on my eggs before I put the salt so I could "see where the salt landed." 30 years later I heard my dad telling people about it, apparently, he'd had no idea I was kidding. I found out he'd been telling this story to people my whole life but leaving out the part where it was a bit, and instead just letting people think I was an idiot. It's just ironic. He was too dumb to know I was kidding which ended up making ME look really dumb.

[@liamsummers1178]

Here in Australia for NESW we say Never Eat Soggy Weetbix (a cereal brand here), it's insane to me that I've never really had the thought that no other country would say Weetbix and instead say something like Waffles

[@Kittycat24_Jinx]

Daniel screaming at the start of every video makes me laugh so much lol

[@GogiRegion]

At this point I'm convinced most businesses could have the same number of employees, same salary per employee, and have everyone do less hours, if they just had good management.

[@thefeelingoflookingataclea932]

15:01 that’s why I love the Van Gogh episode of dr who. It’s so healing to me

[@NoImNotOkay]

Why am I hearing these new ways to say north east west and south? Some of these genuinely sound deranged. In the UK we just say never eat shredded wheat. What is these electric worms? I’m so confused?!?!?!

[@twilledflano649]

I think the electric worms thing was one person who made it up on their own, but in the southern part of the states it's "Never eat soggy/sour watermelon", depending on who you ask

[@QUEERVEEART]

never eat sour wheat is what i learned. i think that's the best

[@summernovah]

​@@twilledflano649from Texas and can confirm. Those were what I always heard

[@PinkJelly-zb5gg]

All of them sound insane to me

[@Benwut]

My biggest "We needa leave" moment was when I was 14, and we were at our town's anual fair. This guy that seemed friendly came up to us, asking where we were from, what our names are, where our parents are, and most concerningly where we LIVE. That question made me realise something was up, so I got my phone and called my mum, and she picked us up a few minutes later. Turns out a month later he was on the news for being a serial child rapist.

[@yasao_art]

Never eat soggy waffles, huh? Gotta memorize that one. I go by "Nie ohne Seife waschen" (Never wash without soap in German ), that's how I remember the directions.

[@shrubninja6444]

I work for a government organization that I can't disclose (it's not as cool as it sounds) and we have a few people who literally don't do anything at all for months at a time, but one in particular is the worst coworker I've ever had. The main source of this problem is that I show up for the morning shift, get all the work done that needs to be done for the day, send out reports and such, etc. Then they show up for the evening shift that we technically need to have because we need someone on site, and they watch youtube all day long and complain about how difficult their job is. They're also constantly late, they leave as soon as they think nobody's around to notice that they went home early, and they sit in their car away from the office phone so no one can reach them, along with other issues that aren't really appropriate for a youtube comment section. The main reason they haven't been fired is because they're the kind of person to use being a trans woman as a shield (no one we work with has any issues with trans people, this particular person is just the worst) and management is afraid of opening that can of worms. We could literally hire any random kid fresh out of high school and train them how to do this person's job and have a significantly better employee. It's a very frustrating situation to be in.

[@ninawink8973]

I have friends that stopped doing martial arts.

[@MogamiKyoko13]

My dad had me convinced for a long time that people had a second stomach dedicated for desserts. He told me this when I was like 4, and I believed it until I was like 11.

[@yeshevishman]

My own "leave now" moment was when I was in highschool and was into doing street magic. (This was when Criss Angel and David Blaine were huge.). I went up to a random guy, showed him some tricks and he was impressed and asked me to come show gis roommate. I (being a young egotistical teenager) went into his apartment. (Yes, I know how dumb that was...) Well, luckily enough, i ended up chilling and doing magic for them for like 30 minutes when the dude gets a call. I wasn't listening in on him, but it soudned kinda weird. After he hung up, he's like keeo going, but I got someone coming over in about 5 minutes and I gotta make some money... Turns out, the guy was coming over to buy drugs. (Not like weed or crack...like, straight up resold prescriptions to get high off!). I made an excuse about having to go and that was that.

[@matt-oo6fu]

oh man. When I was around 12, I took a back route home from school because there was more shade. Not a lot of houses there though. A car going the same direction started slowing down next to me, almost to a stop, so I turned around and BOOKED IT. A few minutes after I got home, my sister's boyfriend showed up to pick her up for a date, and asked me "Why did you run away like that????" Turns out, he got a new car, saw me on his way over to my house, and was stopping to offer to drive me the rest of the way. The windows had a dark tint, so I couldn't see him and thought it was somebody trying to kidnap me. My mama taught me right!

[@flameofficial3382]

Imagine clicking on the video so fast it's not even 5 minutes old yet.

[@4ndrito]

hey hey hey, its 6 minutes

[@Naescent]

I didn't realize how early I am.

[@cardinalcar]

Living on the edge of tomorrow

[@SnowyOwl369]

Aww im here at 12 minutes

[@MrBeets24]

16 minutes

[@anonymous-q9g]

my ‘leave now’ moment: i was in the psych ward for a bit and hated it there (but hated my parents more). i was resistant to go home. then, one day, this girl came in and i had a bad feeling about her. i asked my parents to take me out. as i was leaving, i heard the girl fighting with my only friend… physically. turns out she was super homophobic and my friend, being a lesbian, was her target. long story short, my friend attempted su1cide after the homophobe said super fucked up stuff. again, this all happened as i was walking out the door. i was openly gay, too, so im very glad i got out of there when i did.