women are leaving men - married single mothers, divesting, no-fault divorce

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In today's episode, join Elle as we delve into the complex world of modern motherhood, relationships, and divorce. We explore the challenges faced by 'married single mothers' - women who are legally married but shoulder single mother responsibilities. We discuss the reasons why women initiate the majority of divorces and the societal expectations placed on women. We also dive into the phenomenon of women "glowing up" post-divorce, shedding light on the factors that contribute to this transformative journey. The episode also unpacks the implications of outlawing no-fault divorces and how this affects women at various levels. Elle offers a compelling perspective on the importance of recognizing one's worth and value, and the need for women to be vigilant against exploitation in relationships. Wrapping up, we discuss the concept of 'divesting' and the importance of expanding one's dating pool. Tune in for an enlightening discussion about women's roles, relationships, and the pursuit of equality. Remember to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell so you never miss an episode.

[@leaha6717]

Hi Elle, I wanted to leave a comment since I feel like your podcasts might have changed my life. I am in the first year of a 50/50 marriage. I love my career and would never give it up but sadly had ended up saddled with the responsibility of household management since “Im simply better at it”. My husband is generous and kind in many ways, but frustratingly blind to the difficulty of household management, possibly since he was raised by a single mother superhero (as you put in another podcast). I was having an unbelievably difficult time in my marriage. I felt so unseen and unloved. I tried so hard and it was so invisible to him. I quietly considered divorce many times with the one I always thought was the love of my life (>8 years dating, each others first love) and even set a deadline: if things could not improve within a year I had to go for my own sake. To say I felt devastated would be understating it. When I came across your podcast, it was like nothing I ever heard (I know I am naive, I grew up VERY sheltered). I started binging it. One of the things that struck me most about your podcast was the idea of how men are market driven and how we need to be more market driven. Quantify our contributions to ourselves and them because historically a traditional women’s contribution has been invisible and devalued and still is today. I began integrating these thoughts in how I communicate with my husband in subtle ways. For example, I have been explicitly telling him the market price of a task after it is performed, as well as the cost to me in a gentle (I am still a softie, a feisty one but still a softie), factual way. If he does something himself, I thank him for saving us X amount of money or tell him what I was able to do in the time he freed up for me. Each time he is surprised and I can see he has truly gained new appreciation for the nature of what women do. Lately, I think the dots have finally begun connecting for him and he has developed deeper respect for the extent if the contribution that performing these “womens” tasks generate, that have been so devalued, to the point where he feels a sense of satisfaction doing them. He has gradually been taking more and more household management without my input. And instead of being begrudging, he shows me even more appreciation as the experience has made him truly realize that heavy burden he left on me. Now I realize that when I was young, I was wrong in many ways. I thought the right way to face a patriarchy as a woman was to go into what was traditionally a man’s space and put behind traditional tasks. But in reality I was indirectly reinforcing it by devaluing a woman’s work. In the end, women can never truly escape a “woman’s role” in many ways in our current world. On average, we are simply better at it, whether its due to being socialized that way or biological reality (most notably reproduction) so that role keeps stubbornly fighting its way into our hands. Instead of running away from those roles, we need to value them for in valuing them we value ourselves. I cant believe it took me so long to realize but I am so much happier now for these days it feels like the first time I can feel how valuable I truly am. I don’t know where my marriage will ultimately end up or if things will be truly fixed long term but I do know I can’t wait to share the wisdom Ive gained with my friends. Thank you

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you for sharing 🥹🥹

[@sonnenschein553]

Beautifully said. I think so, too.

[@chanson8508]

Have you heard of the book/fair play movement? It's basically a set of exercises you do with your hubby to knock the obliviousness out of him. "Back in the day," sometimes wives would play sick for an extended period of time to communicate this point, but now we have more direct & structured ways 👍🏽

[@kikijewell2967]

What a beautiful and amazing story.

[@theflowerhead]

You're INCREDIBLE and very kind to give him a chance. I hope your marriage lasts but if not, you absolutely tried and did more than your part. I'm so proud to hear this.

[@UltraMella]

Nothing offends bad men like the realisation that we would rather live with cats than them.

[@therealmanifestelle]

😭🫶🏽

[@Enriquez2222]

Or that we don’t want their children, this guy I just met literally lost it 😬

[@UltraMella]

@@Enriquez2222 because he realised that you don’t want the ONLY thing he has to offer 😂 Good for you sis 🥂

[@yeehaw7896]

toxic men are competing against cats and they’re losing

[@amyleigh7624]

Unlike men, cats bring joy

[@KimRope]

I was a single mom in a relationship for the first 3 years of my daughters life, when I finally left I was shocked how much easier it was being a single mom without him.

[@slayfaee]

Because you weren’t raising a manchild on top of everything lol

[@Jess-jc2wx]

I wish my mom could make this move. I am 28 now. 28!!! She’s been with my dad since, he’s the type that does nothing around the house and uses weaponized incompetence. I have younger siblings and she doesn’t leave him because she’s afraid she won’t make it on her own. But I definitely think she can, I even tell her I’ll help financially. Yes it’ll be hard but i think in the long run she’ll be better off and happier. But I guess it’s just hard for women to make that first step 😞 Honestly I’m happy you decided to make that move that early on.

[@jbthetestgod]

I wish my baby mother thought like you so I can be free!

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

The daily chores are definitely easier!

[@liabw05]

@@jbthetestgodthen why don’t you leave? You have 2 feet yea? Walk 🚶‍♀️🚶🚶‍♂️

[@christelle9122]

I told the guy I was with at the beginning of the year that I wouldn’t get pregnant and give birth if I did not feel at peace. I even went to the extent to say that I would reject being pregnant and his babies as long as I would not feel safe enough. He did not take it very well. I will not overburden myself with a man child who throws fits whenever he is not able to regulate his emotions. Im single now and glowing up again.

[@326159487d]

High five to you. I said the same, years ago to my then bf. I'm glad I've 'lost' him, as he would like to say it. You did good. You choose the best for your future self, and everything that is yet to be welcomed into the world, if you still wish for it

[@Iararawr]

I literally busted out laughing when my ex after years of neglect and below bare minimum effort, then inevitably on the verge of breaking up, brought up having kids to essentially save the relationship. I am so thankful I had enough discernment to shut that down.

[@ViciousDelicious-td8jl]

You would have become a single mother of two with that man-child around.

[@findingmyself2446]

​@@Iararawr Why do you even grant s*x to a man who isn't married to you ? Never ever give free s*x or any sort of intimacy to any man until and unless he marries and invest in you. Keep your standards high 💜

[@Iararawr]

@@findingmyself2446 we were married. Plenty of women accidentally find themselves married to a dusty.

[@viridianacortes9642]

FYI. If no fault divorce gets banned. Less women will get married. No one will marry if the stakes are higher and with less forms of escape. This isn’t the 50s anymore and women can earn their own money.

[@frenzybuzz3703]

I live in India where 80 percent women are housewives and most women among housewives barely have any say in their own lives and a lot of them get tortured by their in laws and husbands. They can't even leave cuz they can't even support themselves. Men must contribute 50 percent in household chores. Men and women should assist each other.

[@liabw05]

@@frenzybuzz3703sounds miserable 😢

[@areyouokay4306]

@@frenzybuzz3703 I am also from India and this is 100% TRUE,this is why,as mentioned in the video,a lot of Indian girls might not choose Indian guys anymore😕

[@frenzybuzz3703]

@@areyouokay4306 Indian women date men from more liberal countries once they land in the first world countries, But yeah, not all the men are liberal and open minded even in the first world countries.

[@areyouokay4306]

@@frenzybuzz3703 true that,and still some Indian men would have the audacity to penalize her for dating a foreign man,forgetting her 'culture' even though she follows it whole heartedly and would celebrate if they see an Indian boy-white girl couple

[@ViciousDelicious-td8jl]

Imagine applying to 3 jobs (cooking, cleaning, raising children) for $0 per hour 😂😂😂

[@ViciousDelicious-td8jl]

You only get these benefits if you marry a man who can jump high enough to reach the bare minimum which is sadly rather scarce nowadays.

[@ViciousDelicious-td8jl]

There's a good reason why nobody leaves "housewife" on their resume when women re-join the workforce. Men don't even consider cooking, cleaning, or raising children "a real job" even though chefs, housekeepers, and daycare workers make an adequate living off such duties.

[@joygibbons5482]

@@Daniedott Because running a home and caring for a family is unquantifiable and entirely open ended. Working outside the home for a salary paid by an employer is contained in that you get a set sum for a specific work contract with limits on the hours worked. I’ve done both and am retired from a full time job and as a woman far preferred that arrangement to the endless drudgery of cleaning, cooking, running errands, trying to respond to every and all problems for all family members from birth to death. It’s exhausting and leaves you with endless guilt that you are not doing enough. Even now at 65 I’m caring for a 97 year old. Most men aren’t expected to take up that burden. In fact some estimates show women doing 70% of the work worldwide. If we need to support ourselves, which frankly is just basic adulting, are you seriously surprised that women are increasingly swerving marriage and motherhood? We all remember how ground down our mothers were, and now we have a choice to avoid it, so are doing so.

[@No1shigeokageyamafan]

​@@Daniedottgoing to work to do more work at home is awful

[@DeBellanadi]

And they’re all full time … with a sprinkle of him cheating on the side and you getting fatter and older , no way

[@puffball4484]

Men who are anti no fault divorce need to understand that it's not 1950 anymore and if that goes away women will just flat out stop getting married. Like.. yall think you're lonely NOW??? My dudes, get rid of no fault divorce and you'll know the true meaning of lonely. Women know how to thrive alone, men don't.

[@vanaphill2454]

No lies told

[@liabw05]

Yep! Also, cute profile pic 🥺

[@ak-47intelligence75]

The right wing movement are filled with mxn who vehemently oppose no - fault divorce.

[@bbymina]

@@mafamac4069I don't think men are pulling away tho. not men in the dating pool at least. the men that are "choosing" not to marry weren't ever getting married in the first place, most of them are incels (used literally) they're saying it's their choice to not get married when in actuality they're pretty much forced to say that bc no woman will actually be with them. at any given point anyway, there's at least 40,000 more lonely men than woman.

[@DJRenee]

Literally. We are biologically capable of being alone. We also are far better at building and maintaining relationships with all kinds of people. Most men are Not. Big Dummies. Along with the fact they need regular sex. There are not enough prostitutes to fulfill the needs that they have.... I'm still lost at how they don't understand the trade off of marriage and it's guarantees for THEM.

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

Shout out to Cynthia g for bringing up and coining the term married single mothers. Marriage obsessed women can no longer hold the truth over our heads. The realities of these relationships with men are being exposed all over

[@Bri-nc8yp]

Cyn G 🫡 She helped me get out if a toxic relationship with a man who couldn’t kick a pebble for me when I moved mountain for him.

[@DJRenee]

Yes

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

@@Bri-nc8yp she got me out of my 3 year situationship with a dusty. He broke my heart and I vowed to never let a man play with me like that again

[@melizzamelizza]

Cynnnnnn ❤❤❤

[@elegantempress1395]

Exactly. Cynthia G is so wise, a real trailblazer ❤️

[@LammyHowl]

As a teenager, I used to say as a joke to boys: "anything you can do, I can do better, backwards, and in high heels." Fast forward 15 years, and I'm seeing the consequences of that attitude on social media. My heart goes out to all those married single moms out there who also swallowed the lie. Let's stop competing with each other and with men, and start looking out for each other. I'm so proud of the spoiled girlies here! Keep up the good work, bestie! 💙

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@Vnm2207]

Hey Lammy, I don’t really think that this is the problem. Women should absolutely be able to do everything men can, and in fact, it is true that we can di everything they do backwards, in high heels and while on our periods. We can. We are better than men in so many levels (so many women these days seem to be so afraid of saying so or sounding men haters, but we truly are naturally better in almost everything that doesn’t require physical force). The issue is that it should not mean that just because we can do it all, we shogun then be doing it all by ourselves if/when we are in a relationship. Being able to do it all is absolutely wonderful and essential for those of us who choose to be alone, who don’t want to be in a relationship; and choose to do it all alone; but if a women choose a relationship it means sharing the burden, it means 50/50 (however and whatever the distribution might mean in a particular relationship). If you are in a relationship you should never be doing it all even if you know how to, even if you can, because that’s not what being in a relationship means. Especially when there is reproduction and children involved bc then there are things only women can do and men cannot, and therefore they absolutely should be compensating the woman (Im all for baby prenups and financial compensation on top of men taking most of the burden of raising children in the first few months/years to give women a break since they already carried them for 9 months, birthed them and fed them, things men can’t do. But after that everything else is stuff that men can do and should absolutely do most of it). The problem isn’t women being able to do everything - that’s just reality, we can, and is emancipatory. The problem is allowing men to take advantage of that, and using it as a free pass to do nothing. The mistake here is allowing men to weaponize our competence against us while weaponing their incompetence (real and/or performative). Being able to do it all should only mean women do not need men for anything and can do whatever they want by themselves if they choose so; it absolutely does not mean that women are going to do everything for a men and men will get a free pass to do nothing while in relationships. Again, this is the same old patriarchy’s way of appropriating women labor for free just packaged with a new and shiny and modern discourse. Don’t fall for that. We are absolutely capable of doing everything and should be proud of that, but that never ever should mean we should do everything for men for free. Never. If you are going to do everything, do it alone, for yourself and for your kids if you choose to have them and in this case go for an anonymous sperm bank so you don’t have to be a married single mother who needs to deal with a useless man demands over the kids you created and pushed out of your body and are raising alone.

[@hidee7874]

​​@@Vnm2207that's exactly how I view things and u my friend have articulated it in the best way possible. I think everyone should read ur comment and learn from it.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

Hey I don't know about you, but I'm not now, nor have I ever been "spoiled" literally ever in my life! 🙄

[@Vnm2207]

@@hidee7874 🥰🙏🏻

[@LifeAdviceSite]

I lost 90 pounds, gained a beautiful house, and more money in my bank account within two years of leaving my *wasband*

[@Forrealimnotfamous]

Uh, 'wasband?' I'm stealing that. 😂😂😂

[@LifeAdviceSite]

@@Forrealimnotfamous by all means, do! ❤️ I definitely stole it from another lady a few years back... 😂

[@weightlosshacks00]

I read that as WASTEBAND 😂😂😂😂

[@LifeAdviceSite]

@@weightlosshacks00 😂 legit!

[@helenapayne3414]

Way to go!❤ I remember the relief and how my brain and sense of humor started working when I realized I couldn’t save the marriage. Happy, independent, witty and financially responsible ever since( the last one I was during the marriage, but now I call the shots )

[@alienazed]

sis, that part when u said, "good men do not enjoy seeing female suffering" is LITERALLY the core of every fucking thing. thanks for saying this out loud 💕

[@tassys]

No fault divorce will only result in women getting repulsed by marriage even more, and choosing celibacy.

[@bagpussisevil2877]

Thats because you have to take some accountability then?

[@jjmags221]

sounds liberating

[@Classified564]

@@cultofherculesWait? They will give it up altogether.

[@Egh0127]

When I heard the term for the first time I told myself I will never get married 😂😂😂😂😂

[@jujubee2903]

I'll *never* forget wearing sweats in hot, fun, Vegas, only for him to still tell me I was *"dressed like a single woman"* and accused me of flirting with men I never even saw.. We were walking hand in hand almost the whole time. Then after the trip he says, "WE were'nt ready for that trip"... WHOLE TIME HE was the one who was too worried about me looking good at any point during the trip. i def toned myself down in that relationship. *We've broken up now and I'm starting to look hot again! LOL*

[@rue6914]

Never tone yourself down for an insecure man! He should have pride in having a beautiful woman by his side, not insecurity.

[@briana14333]

lol good for you💃🏾

[@sb853547]

Men think that providing means only earning money😂😂

[@bbymina]

men think "providing" means getting up in the morning and going to a job. most of them don't make enough to "provide" for a family

[@CyberMachine]

@@gailainsley6939 I have one and he's lazy in other aspects. Super clean guy, does housework, and can cook like most Germen men. But it's like he barely puts in effort. If I ask for more time, I'll receive an expensive gift instead. He knows that I'm not materialistic so it doesn't even satisfy me initially.

[@fatemad4012]

​@@CyberMachineif he does house work and cook he is not lazy he is very good man remember domestic labor is very high value we should not under value it because of this women always suffer

[@shey1865]

This was a discussion on Twitter a while ago and a divorce lawyer said the reason many women file for divorce is because some men don’t want to look like the bad guy moving on. They can weaponise that the woman was the issue “see she filed.” I will also caveat that it could also be weaponised incompetence because some of these men genuinely don’t know how everyday things work because they’ve left everything for their wife to do

[@Nyuffykah]

Those men are cowards, less then worms

[@briana14333]

I remember seeing a man give a video tour of his new home and when he got to the kitchen, he said “hopefully I’ll meet a woman that’ll come cook for me.” He was at least 65. Some men never learn or even try.

[@kikijewell2967]

I was a SAHW. It sucked. My husband was in a high power tech job, and looked down on me. It bolstered his ego like a vampire. But worse - what if he got hit hy a bus? (Or left me like he did.) My high power tech career was destroyed. Not just sexism but now ageism comes in to play. Plus i have a kid still in school. It's extremely hard to do both dropoff and pickup as a single mom. That narrow window of working time is hard to squeeze a fulltime job into. I'm exhausted after getting home. I'm sure people will blame me for this predicament I'm in. But no one taught me properly like our dear Bestie on this channel. God I wish I had listened to her 25 years ago.

[@lifeisall488]

I'm so sorry you are going through that my husband is also the main provider and I'm a stay at home mom since he is always traveling reading your story also worries me

[@kikijewell2967]

@@lifeisall488 start saving money. Work on employable skills. Apply for a credit card in your name. Make sure you're on the mortgage and title if you own a house or car. He could get hit by a bus. The important part is: as you gain financial strength, then fears, helplessness, and low self esteem you didn't know were there will start to evaporate. (And becoming strong and confident, I think, was threatening and is why he left me suddenly. Just be prepared that he may not be as excited as you if you gain financial strength. Even if he's a kind and giving man. Be careful.)

[@memyself2630]

Don’t be too hard on yourself bc a lot of us are in this situation, myself included to some extent! Some of us are a lil older and didn’t have the luxury like the younger girls do with social media and being able to see the whole situation for what it truly is!

[@seitanbeatsyourmeat666]

The advantage these younger girls and women have is social media (which I’m thankful for, to be perfectly clear, even with the issues it has in general). We didn’t have that; to compare notes was “gossipping” to go against it meant you were “difficult” and set you up as a purposeful target of SA or unaliving by angry men that wanted to make an example of the difficult ones. They got away with it because the courts were set up to give men (white men specifically) the advantage. The safest course was to have a boyfriend or husband… don’t stand out I’m so fuking happy this awakening is happening. I’m here for it… the past wasn’t your fault (you know this!), you were a product of patriarchy. Today, we have communication online which is easier, lightening speed fast and (importantly) PROOF. 🎉🎉🎉 Let’s celebrate the future for these young women, girls and even us more mature ladies. We’re all in it together now, decentering men Oh and PS. Do not give up; find a way to work in tech for a woman owned company, or work from home? You have skills; you’re resilient, reliable, you multitask like it’s a job in itself, you’re thoughtful, creative, introspective, always moving forward, learning, you have a unique perspective for every challenge, you’re driven in ways that a man can’t understand or be… I know this because you’re a woman 🎉🎉❤

[@Llkolii]

Don't be ashamed of what you do be proud of what your giving your kids, you're doing good people are just too judgmental to empathise sometimes

[@alm.2000]

I never understood why men thought women should be honored by being turned into unpaid domestic servants, chefs and caregivers while having to ask for money like a child asks from their parent, not having skills to put on resume and risking being broke at old age? Not to mention these kind of men have a lot of time, mindset of being entitled to sex as they “provide” and yet men’s role of “providing” is literally the most normal adult responsibility he’d have to do (have a paying job) regardless otherwise he’d be homeless and starving. How come the man’s role that they call “sacrifice” men end up with promotions and money that gives them freedom and power over their and other people’s lives meanwhile, women’s role as a dependant is supposedly a “privilege” while LOSING out of everything he gains above. Can anyone explain to me how this dynamic gets sold to millions of women?

[@Shtickyaight]

Illusion humans are not rational beings

[@covfefemaga7918]

Just stay away from divorced men unless they're multimillionaires then it's worth consideration. Also stay away from men with children if you have none.

[@CS-bu7lo]

​@@winxclubstellamusaYou could be, if the other parent dies/leaves. I dated a young widower with 2 small kids that were raised by his dead wife's parents. I was young and naive too, he promised marriage and 2 more kids with me, my dream. I was lucky to overhear him talking to a friend that he only wanted a good stepmom and was planning not to have kids with me, although he could have afforded them ( he had family money and I have some too). Ever since then, I vowed not to date men with kids unless I too have kids from previous relationships.

[@CS-bu7lo]

@@curtishancock432 Men can be victims, too, that is why I wrote " the other parent" and not " late/ex wife". I did tell my story as it was, as I am a woman dating men, but men can absolutely be victims, too. Even LGBTQIA couples can be victims of that, anyone who's partner lies and wants to use him/her/ them.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

@@winxclubstellamusaCan be a lot of drama around that, esp with child support. Your man’s attention can’t be on you and if you want children then he’ll have even more responsibilities.

[@apaddy5390]

@@winxclubstellamusawhy would you want to date a man who puts all the parental responsibilities on his ex-wife? So you’re ok with dating a deadbeat father?

[@MaybejustNarbe]

Yes. They are so mentally broken it’s not worth it

[@Gespense]

The marriages usually fall apart after the children are born. Next video should be about how hard motherhood is.

[@eheheh3263]

Do you think the number of children matter? On wether a marriage goes down the drain or not?

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

@@eheheh3263It definitely DOES matter. Having children often marks a turning point and generally for the worst. It’s when women realised they married a man child.

[@Gespense]

​@eheheh3263 yea I would think the more children the harder, on the mothers body, on her psychologically etc.

[@sakura-hw1zi]

Apparently there’s a research on this and the reason is because after women give birth, their main focus is their newborns. They will analyze their husbands’ capabilities on becoming fathers and if they’re deemed as incapable, women will resent them and marriage will start to fall apart. I feel like this problem only occurs to men who aren’t providers for their women from the get go. They’re not taking good care of their wives, they’re not gonna take good care of their children either

[@Gespense]

@sakura-hw1zi interesting, but what would the explanation be for families with multiple kids? Surely if he's unfit to father the mother would recognize after marriage, the first child, then the 2nd at least? Furthermore, what qualities are not being observed that the mother deems the father's contributions insignificant enough to leave? I ask because we have overwhelming data that children from fatherless homes are all but destined for hardships so clearly, whatever is lacking is not then found without a father in the house.

[@user-lt7ff1tg9f]

I struggled to understand why my parents were married. I would look at my father's behaviour and be baffled. I would ask, "mum, why did you marry this guy?" "People change when they have kids sweetie." My mum didn't have anyone to warn her of the guys out there who would use her. Her parents excuse was that it was "none of their business". They just didn't want to put the effort into educating their daughter. For ages, I felt like I was crazy for thinking this way, for thinking my parents marriage wasn't equal. I'm relieved I'm not the only one. I'm relieved I've been warned of this before hand. I'm proud I never accepted the example that my father set. I'm proud I didn't agree with how he treated my mother, his now ex-wife, the mother of his children. I'm so determined not to let myself down like she was.

[@katharinaharke6907]

Exact same experiences and thoughts about that 🔥🔥🔥

[@krystingrant6292]

Same they made me not want to get married. I was so disgusted in what I saw.

[@fredo3161]

How did he treat your mother?

[@PrettyDope]

I left my daughters father and he tried to guilt and gaslight me saying she would be mad at me for Leaving her dad, I said she could be mad I stayed!

[@chiyuku]

bro same our whole childhood me and my sibling would tell our parents to get divorced. They were that messed up of a couple together. They are better apart than together. And my dad was such a deadbeat bro but his pride makes him think it’s my moms fault for everything. Don’t get me wrong my mom is something but she took care of the kids, she cleaned, had sex with him, she worked full time, funded all his pathetic business adventures that failed, she payed ALL the bills. My dad just stop working at one point and he wasn’t even taking care of us. I remember vividly arguing with him to give me the remote cause all he did was watch tv all day and when he made food it’d only be for himself. Now they’re divorced and my father just jumped under another woman who can take care of him. It’s pathetic there are a lot of men who are looking for someone to take care of them, they aren’t looking for a true equal relationship. Hell never admit it out loud but he never loved my mother and he used her because she was younger and obsessed with him. He had more to gain being with her than not. My biggest thing now is that i’m not repeating the patterns of my parents. No pathetic useless men and no insecure women who don’t know their worth. If i ever get pregnant by a deadbeat insta abortion but im celibate so that shouldn’t even be a scenario

[@DarlingGlitch]

I had a no-fault divorce with my ex husband and if it wasn’t for that, my life wouldn’t be what it is today. If no-fault divorce got penalized or absolved I feel like women especially would stop marrying men, or it would take us a lot longer when selecting a partner to marry because it’s so finite at that point. It’s not that people of our generation don’t want to get married, it’s that we don’t want to get married to the wrong person, especially women because we’re the source!

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

@@GoJojo-lv6ziThey already are. MGTOW anyone? But WGTOW has been happening for a while and will continue to grow apace.

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

@@GoJojo-lv6zi Yes, that happened before when it was harder to get divorced. As the divorce laws liberalised then the rate of poisoned husbands went down.

[@AboveRubiesTV]

@@rejectionisprotection4448 I’m so sorry; I know this is a serious topic, but “rate of poisoned husbands” did it for me 😂😂😂

[@pouchika5672]

​@GoJojo-lv6zi reminds me of the poison holding rings European women used to have 😅

[@TimXDDDD]

😂😂😂

[@ak-47intelligence75]

When I was dating my ex, I asked myself the question, " wait, are you negotiating your worth so that he can sleep with you and enjoy your body without receiving anything valuable in return ?" Sounds like a one sided relationship.

[@michelledaisy4466]

There was a sad thing going on in Russia. I've heard that there are plenty of beautiful, amazing women who sadly are used to being treated horribly, because the men are less than the women. It happened exactly what you say - men became lazy, they don't take care of their appearance, they beat their wife even, and everyone acts like this is totally normal and fine. And it is very very sad that those women are so fixated on having a husband and children as their life goal, that they are ready to tolerate anything, only to be able to say "I have a family". 😑😵‍💫

[@AIBot929]

The truth is women have advanced and progressed in life, while many men have not, men are too busy trying drag women back to "the good ol' days" but don't realize those days are over permanently. Women in nearly every country are tired of bs. Men need to step up and evolve and realize just "providing" is not going to cut it, we work too, we provide too, carry some of this load, because mens main competetion is our peace and cats 😂

[@TimXDDDD]

Women there don't want to work, because real men , does X, Y and Z. Also, it easier because she can always say that he doesn't earn "enough".😢😂😂😂

[@CyberMachine]

You're describing uneducated Russian men only. The educated and well off ones are nothing like this. Many don't drink at all. They don't pressure you for sex at all. They pay for everything and open doors/pull out chairs for you. They are harsh with their words. There's a reason why the uneducated do not like the Moscow types. If you watch interviews you'd notice they are always complaining about them on there too.

[@lilymulligan8180]

Another reason why men shouldn't want no fault divorce: A friend of mine is in the process of divorcing her husband of 10 years. She has ABUNDANT proof that he cheated on her. But guess what? Since he hasn't had a job in the past year due to addiction issues, SHE is going to be paying HIM spousal support. She's like the definition of a high value woman. She has a prestigious job as a lawyer, she's hot, she's feminine, she's smart, ambitious, fun... Any man would be LUCKY to have her look in his direction. It's shocking how these men can manipulate and break us down if we're not careful. I'm just so grateful there are no kids involved in the divorce.

[@toscadonna]

Yes, because no fault divorce actually benefits men the most. In this day and age, it’s super easy to prove cheating, beating, abuse, etc. There are cameras and recording devices everywhere. But a man not having the fault placed upon him makes it to where he can take from that woman. It happened to my dentist; her husband was a loser deadbeat. She had to pay him $500K, half of her business, to get rid of his cheating, not working arse. In a faulted divorce, he’d have been given the blame he deserved.

[@suebotchie4167]

Yep, talk to my co-worker's niece.

[@justmom-ingit]

I got out of a marriage with my abusive ex husband, while my daughter was only one. Divorce allowed me to live my life and re marry some time after. Now I am in a marriage with a great man, who encourages me to both work hard and also take rest, he is a great person. Everything you are saying in this video is the TRUTH!

[@memyself2630]

Same here. My first marriage was like serving seven years in prison but my second marriage is better but it took a lot to get him to realize the flaws in these lopsided relationships but he’s finally there!

[@fatemad4012]

​@@memyself2630how did you change him? Please help us

[@bikerultimate]

You're doing God's work, lady. And all women, good men exist. Do not settle or let anyone brainwash you into hopeless compromise to avoid 'being alone'.

[@AmericanDreamer]

💯🙌

[@noraa.616]

Thank you, truly, for your support

[@purr181]

The last divorced man (with little children) I dated excused his compulsively bad behaviors with "I already tried therapy and it didn't work." 🤮

[@SummerOf1987]

Ew…

[@OroSkullz78]

Wait to you meet the one that will say they don't need a therapist. It's everyone else that's the problem.

[@levtieart3409]

men being offended that nothing/cat is better than them instead of ashamed of themelfes and their behaviour

[@TamTam9-15]

As a married upper middle class woman I can tell you (all) that most men in this tax bracket the lower 6 figure earning men do not generally see worth in domestic labor. Because us SAHM are able to go buy little middle class ‘luxuries’ that’s the reward that’s the pay off they (men) don’t get it. It’s a physically and mentally exhausting JOB. I work non stop. My husband works a lot most high earning men do but he doesn’t do anything at home and he might even just turn his brain off here. Gosh I could add so much more! Not only is it the physical and mental demand but it’s a social demand with the job. No one talks about this. The social demand to have a nice kept up to date home, the kids must be active(extracurriculars) and look good, you as the wife are a prize so stay skinny and hot forever! It’s a lot and all of that is funded by the man but it’s by his one action-going to work. And the tiny other tasks that they require are delegated to the woman. Other women ask how I stay thin. It’s antidepressants, coffee and stress babe.

[@Jaylade]

so youre drugging yourself to maintain a status quo?

[@MysticalPreshXO]

Yeah it always blew my mind once I became an adult & entered the workforce that that’s all men have to do (or at least had to especially in the 50s or so)….go to work…which we all have to do. To be a “coveted” provider man all you literally have to do is work a job that pays enough for 2, 3, 4 or so depending on if there are kids. That’s it. Not even necessarily work harder. He could work the same 40 hrs a week as we all do, just in a position that pays enough for the woman he’s with & any children spawned. & this alone garners him basically king status…big piece of chicken, no talk back at home, royal treatment, s*x on demand, children that adore him (or at least respect him), getting catered to, free daily maid service, societal respect. To think if I were a man I could get all of this with my good paying job (& dassit!) is kind of insane….

[@aviana3841]

Upper middle class, why not hire help? Especially if you have a job.

[@t.f.6297]

Get a parttime maid and nanny, if you can. Dont stress yourself out. Thats why i tell young women, marry as wealthy as you can, so you can afford to outsource domestic labor.

[@TamTam9-15]

@@t.f.6297 I used to have a housekeeper come a few times a week and honestly felt like I was pre cleaning before she came and wasting money. I think I will rehire a cleaning lady because it is such a nice break. Outsourcing labor when my kids were younger like having a mommy helper as I called her instead of a nanny, was a life saver. So yes that is great advice. My kids are older now anyways so the help I need really is with my husband or I just need a chauffeur! Is it safe to send kids to birthday parties and choir practice in übers? 🤔

[@buttoneyes2837]

I have seen so many videos of men bashing single mothers and bashing men for being with single mothers. A while ago, I saw a video of a man at a job with his "kid" and a woman approaching him and flirting with him. The video had tons of men saying she's a keeper or she is a real woman or that she will be a good mother. The double standards of single mothers vs single fathers are ridiculous. Women are praised for being with single fathers, but god forbid men being with single mothers.

[@Barbyohlala333]

This is so true

[@nicolasvenezuelaverde1184]

We are not the same what we have to do to create value you are born with

[@MRindependentTHINK]

Plus children who are raised by single fathers do much better in life than those raised by single mothers

[@oeckstei]

Feel like most of the divorces that happen are with couples that never should have gotten married in the first place and never properly vetted one another.

[@and_were_just_supposed_to_4110]

As a young divorcee myself (fortunately we had no kids or property yet)… MAJOR facts.

[@minnkachu]

i can definitely relate to the "before i even looked, i knew" thing for the last women. as a black/mixed woman with an inadequate father-figure (mixed mom, black dad), i honestly prefer to look for men outside of my race to date. i feel like a lot of men feel "entitled" to being with woman within their own race, and often look down on them, so they feel okay doing the bare minimum. that's not to say that there aren't men in the black community who are caring, loving providers, but I would say they are a lot harder to find, and you have to get through a lot of fake patriarchs to get there.

[@MysticalPreshXO]

100% agree

[@LadySquiffington]

oh my god I thought it was just me. when I was younger black guys would approach me like they had a right to me and then when told then to fuck off they'd try to bring me down a peg by saying things like, " you're too black anyway". I didn't understand what it was at the time. watching this lady's videos has lead to some revelations for sure.

[@LoveMinnie1102]

I filed when my daughter was 3 months old. You’re right! Ladies runnnn from men whose wife filed for divorce while having very young children. Those men are the definition of ‘evil’. Trust me.

[@katec9893]

I've noticed those men on dating apps. One man was 'going through a divorce' and still living with his wife, apparently selling the home. Two children. I just thought surely you'd get divorced and move out before trying to find the next partner, it was crazy to me that he was already trying to find a new woman.

[@lucky0197]

@@katec9893no that’s just how they are always looking for the next poor victim.

[@janjanl1812]

You are an inspiration ❤ Any man not appreciating a women’s labour at home doesn’t deserve a woman in his life.

[@Aashna585]

Men today are a joke.

[@mahsaahsam7823]

The same applies for a lot of women. Let's stop living in delusion.

[@TimXDDDD]

Thank God 😌🙏 women and men are equal.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

​@@TimXDDDDThank God we still live in a patriarchy where you see how these clowns act in real time 😂

[@ak-47intelligence75]

​@@mahsaahsam7823your opinion is redundant. The facts speak for themselves. Wxmen won't deal with you anymore. Not the women you want, at least 😂

[@TheGhostofAbigailMills]

I came to the realization today that I've begun to view marriage as a form of scab labor. One side is being benefited to the detriment of the other - yet the labor continues to be extracted. Women en masse are beginning to go "on strike", so to speak. And women who still partner under these lopsided conditions are (to my mind) essentially crossing a picket line. I love your channel so much because you're teaching so many of us to understand our worth and negotiate our terms accordingly. Beautiful work, as always ♥♥

[@Marissathered]

So spot on

[@joycejoy4119]

Atlas shrugged 🤷‍♀️ Ayn Rand

[@nothereyetlost]

@@zah936what’s a scab

[@ashh1371]

What if a woman has found a man that makes a lot of money and does a lot domestically? A man that keeps her happy and relaxing…then would it be crossing the picket line to marry him?

[@nothereyetlost]

@@ashh1371 yes it would. Just bc HE does those things doesn’t mean he won’t enslave you once you marry him. It’s like saying one has spit so why is one thirsty???

[@user-xz6yf8ki8l]

I married for love. Now it’s just a partnership/roommate situation. 😒

[@G0ddess_Kate]

Just left my last for that reason.. raise rent or evict 😛

[@artofaries1113]

It's even information out there that says pets lower blood pressure while a man will raise your blood pressure. There will be a lot of hot cat ladies and golden girls living life in the future.

[@artofaries1113]

@user-cz9jj2em2v If so, it's because women are conditioned to expect their prince charming. Women realize there is really nothing but frogs and ogres. No princes.

[@carsonireland536]

Just found this channel and love it. Am a 21 year old "man" but was not shown how to be a healthy man. Guess its time to get over them daddy issues!

[@Anon00113]

Welcome to the female perspective 🙏💚

[@temposhop8739]

a man who is willing to grow by taking into account women's experiences is welcome to a public forum, in my opinion. good luck in your journey!

[@MrSandman_0981]

I respect men like you

[@pastoral_landscape]

Heck yeah brother !

[@carsonireland536]

Didn't realize she wouldn't have wanted a man to comment. Just saying this stuff has been really good to hear and is making my life make a lot of sense. Farewell🫡

[@almarosa2012]

You hit the nail on the coffin!!! I unfortunately experienced this, I was with someone for 9 years hoping for change, 3 of those years were in a marriage. Being with an aint 💩 man, stressed me out, I was at mi unhealthiest, bills weren’t paid on time and I had a really bad feeling of being stagnant and not growing in life. Divorce is really hard mentally and physically sometimes. So please ladies if everyone on your close circle doesn’t like him, there’s a reason and they are 99% of the time right. Ever since leaving that toxic marriage, I have glown up physically and mentally.

[@wellknown1204]

Girl, how are you having a husband and the bills is not paid on time😢.. omg, lordy i am so sorry and glad you are out of there

[@DJRenee]

If you tell most males that if they get you pregnant you are giving them the kid from birth and you will just be a weekend parent, watch them lose it. But the benefit is, they will probably just leave you alone plus they won't ever get you accidentally pregnant or on purpose.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

They will lose it anytime you give them responsibility.

[@bagpussisevil2877]

"They won't ever get you accidentally pregnant or on purpose". What, because you have no say in whether you get pregnant or not. LMFAO. Chose better.

[@Chinnychinchin369]

This is why I never had kids in my first marriage (because already I was the one doing EVERYTHING… I did not want to add THAT onto my craptastic life too).

[@divorceguru]

I almost spit out my water when you said “can you rub two brain cells together…”! Anyway, can I just say that the opposite of no-fault divorce is not no divorce, it’s a fault based system where the party found to be at fault is penalised for breaching the marriage contract. Is that really what men want? Because I feel like that won’t go in their favour…

[@Otherwise88]

Im not sure... most lawyers are male as are judges and legislators. Courts are by and for men.

[@sammyparadero8762]

@@Otherwise88right, so women are going to lose a lot in this battle. Forsure

[@kikijewell2967]

Every marriage law benefits men in the end. They just do because men aren't working hard towards _fairness._ I don't know a man who feels like his alimony is fair. And I don't know a woman for whom alimony _is fair._

[@divorceguru]

@@Otherwise88 Well according to the geniuses advocating for abolishing no-fault divorce, the family courts are "biased against men". So based on their own logic, they want the "anti-man" family court to decide on fault in their divorce.... I mean come on, you gotta laugh at that. Sounds like they don't have 2 brain cells to rub together.

[@nothereyetlost]

It will. They will twist everything and lie.

[@JPaz-cr8os]

stay single and childfree ladies, it is the best!

[@akakac]

37, child-free, never married, live alone, love my job, I do what tf I want and I second this ✌

[@Jac527]

Yes I will. In fact I’m celibate and it is Amazing 🤩

[@SummerOf1987]

Same, same, same! 😂❤🎉

[@law11school11girly]

at 22 I’m so glad I get to choose my partners with discernment ❤❤❤ thanks Elle ❤❤❤

[@Strawberrypocky911]

I'm really glad that content like this is available to the younger ladies, who get to learn from us older gals the hardships and mistakes that were made but only cause most of us were brainwashed by the entitled toxicity within the Manosphere. But now that I've discovered the love and comfort that's within the Ladysphere, I'm never going back! I think all people who identify as male will always be a part of the Manosphere, but the good provider/desirable men will naturally lean more towards (or consciously chose to thrive within) the Ladysphere. Cause the Manosphere now is mostly toxic, but I want the Manosphere to become a place of healthy masculinity and the embracer of the divine Masculine so that way the Ladysphere isn't the only place that encourages positive traits/actions within men.

[@roreo1612]

oh my god my church pastor is exactly like this !! you'd expect that a man of god will hold himself to a higher standard. his wife works AND takes care of the kids. and on every Sunday he cries into the mic : I need to be nice to my wife and not be mean to her and the kids. i swear that woman is exhausted!!!! funny part ? HES HITTING ON ME !!!!

[@benicatbenoit2409]

Hi girlie! I don't know you or trying to tell you what to do but I am speaking from experience. You cannot stay in a church where the leader is still bathing in lust even though he's married.

[@roreo1612]

i know. and his wife is sick of his shit she doesn't even sit in the same room as him, and says he sleep on the couch most of the days. if I left all 40 members will be puzzled since I am an active member with the rest of the group. its yucky the way he looks at me and curess my hand. he even started a bible study just for me, so I can come to his house and spend time with him. his angry wife is with the kids angry at him. she knows he likes me and its awkward af@@benicatbenoit2409

[@pastoral_landscape]

Girl find another church, damn!

[@roreo1612]

i want to!!!! but telling 40 people why I am leaving is a whole can of worms that I don't wanna open. and possibly wreck a home@@pastoral_landscape

[@tassys]

The bible says a man who doesn't provide financially for his wife is worst than an infidel, but I'm sure he prefers to talks about that submission verse. Even if that means respect, not domination, and in the same verse it says the husband has to provide and protect his wife.

[@DJRenee]

0:23 thats why when a male can't even acknowledge how much a woman gives in a relationship, I RUN!!

[@rukiv3701]

The worst thing you can do is be with a man who doesn't see your value and worth. The worst! Please ladies don't do that.

[@morganhumphrey5587]

I'm tired of femicide and domestic violence in America thats why I'm unsure about marriage

[@abor1males]

It’s a huge problem no one talks about!!!!

[@TimXDDDD]

Yes, it is terrible! The numbers are horrifyingly low!😢

[@abor1males]

@@TimXDDDD Not like men taking other men out!

[@iozmai]

so glad you touched on the appeal of interracial dating to women. the truth is, most women aren’t valued by the men in their racial community. especially black women. sometimes seeking a good man will require exiting your comfort zone.

[@wherebeautymeetswellness]

I see Cynthia G is influencing a lot of these creators and bringing these topics to the forefront. She’s the Queen 👸🏾 that coined ‘ Married Single Mothers’

[@CyberMachine]

@@gailainsley6939 The same advertisements that were loud asf no less!

[@a.b.2405]

I miss her channel!

[@Hottybanger]

I love Cynthia, funny how KZbin never bans the males who talk bad about women but when a woman is being honest they ban it

[@law11school11girly]

True ladies ❤❤❤ let’s not do the job of a cook, housecleaner, babysitter, laundry mat, FOR FREE or actually paying with your youth and beauty ❤❤❤ if we work, we deserve compensation

[@TimXDDDD]

​@@reedy_9619Please, stop challenging her opinion. Do not try to compromise the echo chamber.

[@Rosetta-gp9mk]

@therealmanifestelle please remove these men from the comments

[@Rosetta-gp9mk]

@@reedy_9619lmao I’ve never seen housewives get taken on dates. Money? Do you share your money with your wife? How much? Does she get treats? Gifts? Holidays? Days off from the kids? What compensation did your mother get from your father?

[@susannehuber3996]

I was not married and me and my ex didn’t have kids BUT when we split up I felt like 1 mio pounds liftet of m shoulder. I’m traveling a lot by myself, I built myself a walk-in closet with designer close and purses and I have all the time in the world 🌎 to myself. Why do I need a relationship.

[@MultiKatieBee]

No-fault divorce isn't going anywhere.

[@TimXDDDD]

Just like Roe vs Wade it will stay steadily😮😂

[@MultiKatieBee]

@@TimXDDDD Abortion isn't going anywhere.

[@CassieTranthesuperfitbabe]

GIRL thank you for bringing up how Asian women also were subjected to extreme market control and marriage abuse from their husbands; for one, the domestic violence statistics amongst our community don’t look so great and some of the actions/reactions the men have taken in response to Asian women’s divestment from marriage are……interesting 😬

[@medtle1]

I was one of the numerous Asian gals that got harassed by the Asian dudebros, incels, and "nice" guys during the popularity of the Asian PUA movement and that was not a fun time. (Yes, the Asian PUA movement was huge right before the 2016 usa election campaigns. JT Tran and the Asian PUA movement and their harmful effects on asian communities is similar to Donald Trump and the alt-right and their effects on the republican party. I could also go on about how JT Tran is just regurgitating the toxic crap he learned from vietnamese communities and how he is one of the vietnamese guys that HATES non-mixed vietnamese women the most, but that would require a whole other comment thread.) Thanks to the Asian PUA movement claiming to "not be like other PUAs" (even though that was an obvious lie), appropriating SJW language to disguise their asian male misogyny and anti-feminism, using non-asian gals to sell their business to non-Asians and horny cis straight asian guys, and claiming that their movement was "pro-asian-male and social justice activism for asian guys (as long as you are not lgbtq+)" - along with getting a lot of media attention both within and outside of asian spaces and non-Asians praising Asian PUAs and ignoring numerous asian gals' warnings and criticisms about the asian pua movement to the point of giving jt tran an ethical business award for his shitty pua business (even though all he did was promote asian male misogyny, anti-feminism, and harassment and hatred of asian gals) - the resurgence of the manosphere popularity in the 2020s are now copying the Asian pua movement's tactics (especially various manospheres of color). As long as Asian communities continue to perpetuate asian male misogyny, anti-feminism, and patriarchy and refuse to address the domestic abuse issues and listen to Asian feminists, Asian gals, and lgbtq+ Asians, the asian communities will always be extremely vulnerable to misinformation and toxic movements like the alt-right and the manosphere and the manosphere will always have a strong grip on profitting from cis straight Asian guys' insecurities and hatred toward asian gals. (The manosphere has always had a strong market among various MOC because of their hatred toward WOC, but their strongest markets have always been cis straight Asian and SWANA guys.) [It is just recently that the non-Asians have found out about a few of the movements Asian women have been forming against Asian guys. But Asian gals and lgbtq+ asians have been distancing, separating, and divorcing themselves from general Asian spaces and cis straight asian guys and finding solidarity in non-asian female-friendly and lgbtq+-friendly spaces for several years already. Why else are so many famous Asian women single? While the rates of multiracial pairing have gone up, most asian gals attracted to guys still end up with Asian guys (when they are not single). But Asian guys in non-Asian countries can't exactly market their complaints about single asian gals or about asian gals marrying "rich bad boy chad" asian guys to non-Asians and try to claim their complaints as "woke" without looking like fools to non-asian gals; unlike their complaints about asian gals dating/marrying non-Asian guys (which they use the stereotypes about asian gals being gold diggers, homewreckers, boyfriend/husband stealers, and "desperate" for non-asian d**k to their advantage).]

[@Yeyee23]

I held my standards and now i have a husband who cooks for me and cleans and does the laundry lol

[@colochossalvajes]

It’s sad, I can physically see that my hate my mom and my mom is such a good person. Like everyone she’s not perfect but she puts on so much 😭It breakers my heart.

[@therealmanifestelle]

😭😭😭

[@DJRenee]

12:07 that is the most hurtful part. You could be becoming beautiful for them or dressed up for them and they insult you. It hurts DEEPLY.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

They are jealous of you.

[@dreamchaser7603]

50/50 should mean splitting All of the tasks!! If a pair wants children, then men should provide financial compensation for her mental and physical health for at least 1.5 years!!! And split all of the child’s care: including sleepless nights, feeding and changing diapers.

[@suzannemcvicker617]

You can't 50/50 pregnancy, childbirth, breast feeding, postpartum recovery, that's 100% on the woman. Most babies (toddlers, children, teenagers) won't tolerate 50/50 either, they want their mommy!

[@aviana3841]

She should get 1million per baby.

[@suzannemcvicker617]

@@aviana3841 absolutely 💯

[@TimXDDDD]

Yaas, queen. Tell 'em!

[@aayushtiwari3272]

Yess now there's no work out of love for your loved ones..... everything is monetary please don't marry a man and stay single... that's how you save a innocent persons life

[@taratorsysspanak6793]

I love reading comments on your yt account mostly because there are so many older women from me who have experienced life sharing their experience, thanks to you, women, we, teenagers can learn, thank you!💗

[@sreyphon-thill3297]

This channel is helping me keep my sanity 😂 so glad I came across your channel. When people ask why we only have one child and not more I can’t help but laugh. One is more than enough, especially when your husband thinks he’s the only one who works and his job is so taxing mentally. I didn’t realize the job I go to daily wasn’t just as taxing yet I’m expected to maintain the home and care for our child as well as have dinner ready everyday.

[@sunbeam3658]

"if a girls spending all of her time worrying about the money she doesnt have, how is she going to have anytime for being in love?" marilyn monroe in gentleman prefer blondes : )

[@jupeisatrip8626]

Bestie, thank you for your service! I've been divorced for a few years and the glow up is real. I've started to date again. Your channel is helping me stay on track and continue to have hope and discernment out here with so many weirdos lol

[@100shiran]

My parents both worked when I grew up. My mom refused to do any of the domestic labor since she was working, so our house was always dirty, and we ate like shit, and my younger sisters and I had to do our own laundry, cook and clean for ourselves. Refusing to do the housework is not enough - both the husband and wife must do it to raise healthy children. The lesson I learned from my childhood is to only be with a partner who cleans, cooks, and does laundry or has the means to hire help.

[@bbymina]

"both the husband and wife must do it to raise healthy children" - goes on to blame only his mother for growing up in a dirty home.

[@100shiran]

Sorry I was misunderstood English is not my first language and I used google translate, first I am a her and I don't blame only my mother of course, but this is a woman only space and the only thing we can do is learn for ourselves and control what we can :) since I cannot control men and this channel is for woman, all I try to think about is what I can do as a woman. of course my father was to blame the same as my mother, I only talk about her because as I said - this channel is for woman and I am a woman so this is the side of the equation that I can learn from and control :) sorry again for my English, I didn't translate from my native language this time hope it makes more sense now @@bbymina I also want to add that my point was that refusing to do the housework will not mean that the husband will take the responsibility on himself.

[@Surfing566]

@@bbymina the fact that this person just blamed their mom is disgusting, because my mom refused to cook and clean is your dad the King? What are you talking about? Your mom shouldn’t have taken that energy to push you out

[@100shiran]

Please read my second comment :) Don't be so quick to assume you understood@@Surfing566

[@TimXDDDD]

Please 🙏 don't blame women 🥺 they are victims 😭

[@MindfulTatiana]

Sophia Loren's ex husband before she became a star told her to change her nose and she said she loved the way she looked, he needed to hire a better camera man. She eventually dropped the husband and became a mega star. Even the most beautiful women in the world are not safe. Imagine if she'd listened to him. Turned out HE was the dead weight in her career.

[@Nyuffykah]

Uhhh my parents marriage was exactly like this. My mother had a "no-fault" divorce and i am proud of her. She worked three times as hard. Full time job (higher earnings)+ 100% of housework + 100 % childcare. She was stressed, exhausted and easy to anger. My father was also unhappy and depressed. A beaten-down man is not only a sad sight but dangerous as well. He was emotionally, verbally abusive. I have to say i suffered their dynamic the most. Now i am adult but had to suffer the subconscious programming. I always knew 50-50 is a scam but couldn't voice it. Just acting in silence best of my ability. I traveled to Asia to be free of passive men and Pickmieashas. Today my dad is doing the exact same thing with his second wife. She is the higher earner. She makes him do some housework, which he complains about. She takes care of my sister 100 % such as my mom did and what you see on the video. I just ahve no respect for these kinds of men. The women are also faulty for allowing this. Many of us not allowing any type of help and men won't push. Both sides have to look within. I am happy that traditional roles are becoming acceptable again.

[@arianex2575]

Chile she did her homework. LETS LINK ILU😭

[@therealmanifestelle]

🥹🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@gjinkalla23]

💯 ❤

[@Academiacaramelcurlz]

WOMEN ARE doing everything … not MOST… ALL… let women know what we’re getting into. Don’t lie to ‘em! 😂😂

[@hanatabassum4356]

Please never stop making videos. I needed you. Women need you

[@AfuaYmani]

I did a deep dive on your content yesterday and I learned about how women participate in the games of men. Then I went to a birthday party date that I was invited to and experienced it firsthand. Stunningly gorgeous, I ended up meeting a lot of my date's childhood friends many of them commented on how beautiful I was. You should have seen how proud he was walking around that party with me on his arm. The games of men

[@brianabonilla3569]

This puts so much into perspective for me im single and 22 and have felt like the dating pool is trash but videos and discussions like these inform me and prepare me for approaching dating and falling in love. I will not just date and or marry just anyone.

[@amazinggrace313]

Men just don’t know how celibate we can be . Don’t tempt us with a good time.

[@sandramarkovik3924]

This channel is a breath of fresh air for us women.

[@iaf4454]

Mina Irfan... her chanel is" universe guru"...

[@iaf4454]

​@@maatonne no, she is not saying that

[@sandramarkovik3924]

@@iaf4454 Thank you!

[@Bexy2080]

I wanted to give you a standing ovation for that Elle wow

[@therealmanifestelle]

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@DivineFeminine99]

Thank you for creating content that reminds us ladies to remember who the fuck we are.

[@TimXDDDD]

Yaas, queen! Go tell 'em!

[@morganhumphrey5587]

I have been seeing women of all races on here talking and spitting facts. Women of all colors and ages need and must come together ❤ challenge the manosphere toooo

[@TimXDDDD]

Yaas, queen! Show 'em!

[@lyanna9261]

I'm so glad I found your channel!! Your videos are just so therapeutic preach bestie preach!!!!!

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you 🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@DancingDeity]

@@therealmanifestelleyou’re not part of the community that uses the term ‘divestment’ Asian women have nothing to divest from. I’m not even sure why you had the audacity to co-opt that term for your content.

[@Rosetta-gp9mk]

@@DancingDeitywhat does her being filipino have to do with this?

[@stephaniehagerman2652]

Girlies who are not yet married ….. wake up ! Listen to Elle! I’m 22 years in so far (marriage) and this woman does not lie about a single word ! Elle I’m crying because you are reading my life . Thank you for waking me up because now I know what I don’t know. I’m a SAHM to three beautiful girls ages 12,9,3. My oldest daughter saw a photo of me pre marriage and she was shocked! I used to weigh 100 pounds! Now I weigh 200 pounds!

[@a.b.2405]

It doesn’t matter who filed, 8 times out of 10 he caused the dissolution of the marriage. If the ex-wife was not abusive or a cheater, then he was most likely the problem.

[@sinikkamera]

bestie is raising the consciousness of women 💙

[@alicec.6195]

Girl, you'll go far. Each new video is a masterpiece.

[@user-ei9kw1yu9i]

If a marriage ends by: 1) the women, it usually could be because he treated her badly (abuse, arse, emotional, financial, physical abuse, cheated, etc..) 2) the man, it usually could be because he thinks the grass is greener...(she now is unattractive, I am entitled to a hot wife (even if I am not hot)...well he made her unattractive (usually) by her doing too much work, going 50/50, her catering to him...etc) Conclusion: the divorced man caused the divorce (usually) Be careful of divorced men. I went out for a few dates with a divorced man. He said his ex cheated on him. But then I had the WORST DATE EVER with him, and I know why his ex left him. Glad it is not me.

[@tspencer661]

Former married, single mom. My life is better without my ex-husband. Oh, the post divorce glow up is real. Living in a toxic environment drains you mentally, physically, and emotionally. So much happier than I ever was in my marriage. Keep creating the amazing content.😊

[@gracea9932]

Post divorce glow up really is real! I’ve had so many people surprised about my age after the divorce finalized. Meanwhile my ex’s hairline keeps receding after the divorce 😂😂😂

[@TamieVlogs]

My parents used to drain me a lot. Since I moved out its a lot better. My bf is awesome 😊 and I rest whenever is needed. I like to be calm and chill. I kind of feel like I have done enough in life already. I also feel more pressure from woman to want it all and do it all. I rarely get that I get the space for who I am. For some reason they always want me to compete or to be better. I just want to exist and nothing more.

[@ArtemisDeer444]

You are wise beyond your years ✨🙏 💛

[@therealmanifestelle]

🤎🤎

[@peekaboopeekaboo1165]

​@@therealmanifestelle Hi there ... I'm new to your channel. Are you Left leaning, Right leaning or Centrist ?

[@rayhoffmann-uu8kx]

The only bad thing about being dicorced is that my ex still has control over me and constantly harasses me. I cant fight back or I will be punished legally. But I got away before he tried to kill me again and I live in my own home now, and have my own space. Its worth it.

[@garigari5245]

I'm grateful I stumbled upon your post. You've taken all of the thoughts I've had these past few years and put it into words with such clarity. People around have been asking why I haven't marry yet, it's because these are the very things I'm worried about! So many mental gaslit, so many physical, financially abusive relationship happening around, that men, dating and marriages quite frankly, scares me now.

[@tayla3934]

This was such a great video, Elle! You really highlighted how much we as women have to lose in relationships with men. I just need to keep hearing that, reminding myself, and reframe my mind into being the chooser! Thank you ✨

[@okayspacewitch]

I love your channel girlie. No matter what you do with it from here on out, if its purpose was to do what you have said it is, you've done it. Xoxo Do u have a discord ?

[@therealmanifestelle]

Thank you 🥹🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@giovanacarla7818]

Bestie, please talk about “shut up rings” in the future and how to avoid them, pleeeease

[@AmericanDreamer]

🙌

[@KiryaOni]

Girl you truly went off in this one and I love it!! It’s exhausting and redundant to harp on the things we can’t control. Exercising our autonomy with the things we can is so important

[@taylormfinney]

I am so happy that you’re approaching a huge milestone with your channel. I’ve been following you since you had only 2k subscribers; you are making a huge difference, and I’m so glad you are being rewarded for that ❤

[@Moonlight-gs7pm]

Love your work. Thank you. There was a study done telling that women's standards have raised over the years and thus choose to be single. I've not found a single man who would share the household chores, given that I'm young, i still could have married someone if i found someone, i haven't:(

[@blackwomenmatter]

22:12 I'm so glad you included this part. I paused to check before even finishing that TikTok clip because I KNEW TOO. Take everything you said about women suffering from men with a low incentive to be better and times it by 10 for us. I just knew that the only way she could be that loved & well taken care of was...

[@ghostpipe_]

Putting this video on repeat for the next couple of weeks. Thank you darling, this is truly eye opening

[@julyanemartins7045]

The comment section is filled with examples but not as many compliments as it should be, so I just wanna say that this job you've been doing here is far more important than you might think. You're saving lives Elle ❤ keep up with the good work, I wish you all the best

[@jayjaygaerlan]

Hi! New subscriber here from the Philippines! 52 single female n I shared your channel to my two daughters and my other female friends (who are either single or with daughters). Love the humor and facts of your channel. ❤

[@nicoleayah]

This is one of your best videos. You are so clear, and the clips you share at the end...are so real.

[@persephrotisv.2655]

Elle, you’re almost at 100k! So happy for you and hope your channel keeps growing! ❤

[@misskiranpaul]

I'm a new subscriber. I'm just blown away by how relatable and educational your content is! Super grateful for your wisdom. Also the ladies in the comments section, thank you for sharing your experiences. This is how we help each other. 🎉