Women’s sexual pleasure: What are we so afraid of? | Sofia Jawed-Wessel | TEDxOmaha

[@HyunlixHearts]

I'm a woman; once when i was 11, i was sitting in my 6th grade classroom, doing my classwork. I was sitting comfortably, with my legs apart, just like guys sit. Suddenly, a boy thought he was being funny and asked me, in front of everyone, why I wasn't sitting with my legs closed. That was the first time in my whole life that I felt ashamed of having female body parts, and that was also the first time that i experienced a boy thinking my body was something to be controlled by him. Now I'm older and would tell him off, but my example is one of many that girls experience. If you have a daughter, raise her to be proud to be a girl.

[@purpleanex]

fifabublz17...that's your problem, everyone who's ever lived has heard something said to them they didnt like, get over it you freak.

[@johnnettleton774]

wrecker

[@acer4237]

He was 11 too 😏

[@HyunlixHearts]

@@johnnettleton774 and what the f is that supposed to mean?

[@kiwiguava9292]

Sharon stone in Basic Instinct.

[@dsethi05]

Women should have the right to make decisions about their own bodies . Informative .

[@4tomoconnor]

The basic idea of her presentation I couldn't agree more with. I've personally known too many women that have never let their minds wander to ONLY their own personal gratification...and even when I ask them to please try to think only about themselves, all too many find this difficult. IMO, this is a direct result of their upbringing, with many women never realizing that they have equal rights in the bedroom. However, IMO this presenter is being a bit unfair to men at the 11:30 spot when she suggests that women are told that basically that if "she prioritizes herself it's scary". That may be true with some men, or casual sex "partners", but with men that truly love a woman, they WANT their partner to do exactly that.

[@atklobas]

the mayo clinic saying "although most women can safely have sex throughout pregnancy, sometimes its best to be cautious" Is not telling a woman what she can and cant do with her body. its informing her so she can make her own decision, by this logic telling a someone that smoking can be risky is telling them what they can and cant do. a boyfriend saying "not worth the risk" telling someone you don't want to have sex with them because you think its too risky does not violate their body autonomy in any way. hell, saying you don't want to have sex for any reason is fine. both parties need to consent (or am I wrong about that?). the hypothetical obgyn saying "while its safe to have sex during pregnancy, sometimes you never know, better safe than sorry" this statement was made to make a point. outside of politics I've never heard someone say "yes, almost certainly, so no"

[@Stephanie-nj6tx]

atklobas yeah the flowed logic of modern feminism

[@artsyterra8350]

My doctor said yes lol with attitude too

[@Kholoured]

Amen, woman should have the right to make their own choices about their body. In EVERY aspect

[@siwadedumelyayet474]

Not abortion

[@trashtocrafts951]

Choices have consequences and regrets later on. might wanna think twice just giving advice before you get offended and not read everything you see on the radical left media is true

[@danielwilliamson6434]

I am always appalled by our societies attitude to sex. My Grandmother and I had totally frank discussions about sex. She was of course a totally honest intelligent and wonderfull woman. I was under 10 years old. Healthy women want sex and they should. Idiots deny that.

[@mak8972]

Great talk and insight into how female sexuality is used to support inequality on a broader scale.

[@rabinniroula4959]

This positive message must be spread all over the World cause it is very real in our society. Great work Sofia.

[@RBYLive]

As what Sophia mentioned, women’s sexual pleasure doesn’t matter. Isn’t it strange, in a world where body positivity, woman empowerment and the feminist movement are rising, that sexual pleasure and awareness are so underestimated? Children are taught at a young age how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and learn about the reproduction system. The real lesson however, that has been forgotten in the sex education is how to find sexual pleasure and develop a healthy sexual identity. In a society where boys are allowed to speak openly about their sexual desires and pleasures, girls and woman are shushed. How can we say that in this society feminism is rising, when girls are neglected in their sexual education? So many girls cannot correctly name their genitals. We can’t blame them, they have never learnt to openly speak about this kind of information. I was shocked by the fact that I, a sexuology student, learnt at an age of 21 (!) how to correctly name my genitals and my sexual organs. This isn’t information that girls need to search or take a sexuology course for, this is the kind of information that needs to be handed over at a young age to partially complete the gender gap.

[@amandataffinder6580]

Incredible, mesmerising, what an incredible woman/human, thank you 🙏

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

Fantastic, whatever you said is relevant. The anti reality victims are gonna hate it, that's the real fun. You nailed it Sophia.

[@johnbradley8893]

She said women who are told to abstain from sex are told their desires don't matter when in fact it requires two people to have sex meaning both the male and females desires don't matter.

[@3DVizzion]

It always odds me how little woman know about themselves...... but many men also know very very little about themselves. The corolation is great!

[@ArcanumOverseer]

I agree

[@3DVizzion]

@@ArcanumOverseer I guess we are able to see what we are internally but only the people looking at us can tell us what we are externally. So to be able to connect men must tell women what they see of them externally and men must tell what they feel internally so must women so we can connect. Honest communication is key.

[@ostensiblegoosethief1305]

Really no one should be drinking alcohol 🤷 it's by far the most detrimental substance in society

[@ArcanumOverseer]

Yep

[@vivthespiv1]

perhaps smallmindedness fits that criteria too

[@ostensiblegoosethief1305]

@@vivthespiv1 are you suggesting small mindedness should be a class 1 carcinogen?

[@johanliebert3609]

Dude alchohal is medicine All things is bad if we overdo

[@ostensiblegoosethief1305]

@@johanliebert3609 no it's categorically not

[@charliebarton]

There was this series of Turkish action films set in the Ottoman Empire with Cuney Arkin. I loved how repeatedly you could see "Ahhh, he's gonna sleep with that Christian woman and leave her, and convert that Christian woman and marry her." Worked like a charm every time. One can note that Turkish films and probably Islamic countries in general often have a theme of inter-communal marriage, but it's always Muslim male with non-Muslim female. Bit of objectification I suppose.

[@madmisskelly]

Girl I don't know you but I would gladly hear all about your studies if I met you at a party. Everything you had to say was so interesting and on point. You nailed it.

[@djwessel]

Miss Kelly Renee sounds like we need to get ourselves to a party ASAP

[@madmisskelly]

sofia jawed-wessel oh of course. I work for the wic program so it's interesting to me!

[@anthonytarpley379]

Miss Kelly Renee Hello how are you doing my name is Anthony from Long Beach Ca

[@danl9999]

It's like she's a missionary for depopulation. More and more I realize progressives are tools for the financial elite.

[@faustinomamucod8569]

Anthony Tarpley g

[@blackarts8876]

Though I think some of the points have value, there are many points which are extended beyond their logical boundaries. Not every event creates inequality.

[@visionaryman3548]

Yes... Modern victim culture is strong with this one

[@LuanaSantos-rl4sb]

like what?

[@Goddessglow888]

I don't understand the unnecessary hate and attacking in the comment section against this woman. She didn't say anything wrong okay maybe her scientific facts needed a little more credibility and accuracy but this woman just destroyed sexism, classism, objectification of women, misogyny, the lack of sex education and its importance and all you're commenting on is how close the mic was to her mouth? Sorry but THAT by itself is misogyny, you might want to look it up. Well done Sofia for taking the time to address such important issues that concern everyone and not just women. Much respect for you lady.

[@purpleanex]

vintagedesigner..misandric gynocetriic bollocks.

[@colasalz2]

the result of the study about drinking while pregnant is not " it is totally safe" to drink , it is just: there are no big evidences that moderate drinking is having a big negative impact. So nothing about " secret " or not telling the moms.

[@bruceblake9942]

My wife and I enjoyed sexual intimacy right up until the last week of pregnancy. In fact our daughter was 9 days overdue when she arrived, and was as bright as a button, fully aware of where she was. Needless to say, she has been very curious about sex from an early age. [Aussie in BC]

[@jerrytaliercio9087]

I could listen to her all day..I wish she weee my teacher…she’s brilliant

[@MrJoeyBoombotz]

Sex can be had without any guilt as long as the person does not draw up any images or anger/hate while having it. Most sex is done with lust (displaced hate) or anger/irritation and why the person feels guilty. That drains the mind and body of health and love of life. Sensual people are death centered and suicidal. Sensible people are not, and have a zest for life, family and doing/defending the calm, wordless, intuitive understanding all were given when they were made. Sensible people are seen and judged to be 'mean' by sensual people. They are not.

[@paragkadam2169]

Government refusing to punish rapists... What country do you live in??

[@BG-mw7bp]

USA

[@ramkumar-yx1rf]

It happens when security forces commit, esp. in south Asian countries where security forces enjoy impunity for the crimes committed on civilians

[@andrzejsamorzewski146]

Sweden, Norway and UK is on the way.

[@LuanaSantos-rl4sb]

Brazil

[@faraqkul]

INDIA BRO , next day you'll get bail by giving some amount of money

[@AshwanikumarSainiARTER]

Yes there is still room for improvement revolving around social taboos for both women and men.

[@tridev6040]

Highly logical bogus.20% is good.80% tried to shift the focus of the discussion.

[@christinromeo8639]

This was incredible. This woman is my hero. Intelligent and amazing.

[@xaviersarria9702]

Christin Michelle

[@seneca7170]

christin michelle. what is your opinion about this video?

[@accountusername8647]

2 years later and that mic still too close to her mouth

[@danielwilliamson6434]

My Grandma once told me that sex between a MAN and a WOMAN was one of Gods greatest gifts to Humanity.

[@EMPRESSALYXIS]

Samsung 7 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

[@user-kw9hg9o]

Alyxis Mosquera According to a few studies, internet trolling is a good indicator of narcissism and/or sociopathy/psychopathy.That's what's wrong.

[@marcarmstrong7668]

Thanks for letting me know about the cloud

[@marcarmstrong7668]

Can we see

[@getalong7383]

I was awestruck Simply... Amazing...👏👏👏

[@mekelreen9869]

A woman who thinks about what she wants in bed is noble and selfless because she is uplifting all women. Sheesh why do they need to be a martyr over everything.

[@ThatGuyThanus]

🤦🏻‍♂️

[@vijayakrishna07]

It is like don't ask for food when you are hungry, wait until McDonalds deliver it to your door without your call.

[@harishs9645]

Lots of men are called cute - it's one of the favorite words women use for good-looking men. But I suppose that since that is men, you can call them anything! And medical advice on pregnancy is not the same as "telling pregnant women what to do." It is for a good reason that sex during pregnancy is discouraged. Trivializing the potential complications there is not going to help women - it'll just result in miscarriages and worse.

[@djwessel]

Harish S absolutely! I recognize that. But those men are also called sexy and handsome among other positive compliments. We have few positive descriptions of pregnant women beyond cute and adorable. Same with older adults

[@rogersaunders4795]

Ericka badu Erykah Badu

[@richardsandwell2285]

It depends on the stages of pregnancy, but done carefully and gently there should be no problems. And or course full penetration with the penis does not have to happen later term, it could just be oral sex only.

[@SoulDiscretion]

A friend of mine asked for a smear test at the local doctors. She was denied and the doctor said she was premiscuous because she didnt have kids. She is 47 years old!

[@m.hassan4755]

For me cute means sensitive beautiful and fragile and pregnant women with baby in her belly deserves a lot more care. I was very shocked after listening her point of views, women don't get pregnant after getting PhD in gynecology, if anyone is telling pregnant women precautions by their experiences or taking care of her sensitively, isn't this a act of kindness ??? Or you are bizarre enough to consume that kindness. Women deserves to be respected from the men so do the man deserves respect from her but comparing them on equality is insane. Its like sun and moon can't compared on equality, both are good on their properties. People need to understand this that having bad experiences doesn't means kindness is ended. The world is filled with lot of lunatics and crazy people. Its your responsibility to take care of yourself, be aware of the consequences for the steps that you take and learn from others mistakes. Envy and revenge can't bring peace but forgiveness and kindness can.

[@rickityslick8353]

and as your doctor recommend, please drink throughout pregnancy.

[@WizardOfTheHills]

Wow, you got sent to the principal’s office for that? I fear that I would have been expelled if I grew up where you lived, considering how I spent time during language lessons.

[@AnthonyMiller-r1w]

I really believe this woman is telling the truth and I support women I want to be that man for love and for life

[@GILLEBRATH]

Intelligent woman and informative too . Thank you .

[@purpleanex]

GILLEBRATH...I've yet to meet one...

[@marguerit8]

it was all about pregnancy, you need to change the title

[@Buster-im5so]

It's your body, do whatever you can think of doing to it... just don't legislate for me to pay your costs.

[@sspiegler]

Why to TED speakers make such gross assumptions?? I am a man. I have no fear from women's sexual pleasure. So, now, I completely overturned the legitimacy of your claim, by showing you a counter example.

[@אלדרגארט]

You have a full rights on your body, the baby inside your body, he is *not* your body, you do not have right to take his seperate life ,except when the pregnancy is endangering your life

[@jaytownsend4021]

When do you talk about pleasure,,I did not hear that part?

[@skipmage]

So, just wondering where the people speaking out against the objectification of soldiers are? A soldier is subject to a similar "property of the community" effect.

[@LuanaSantos-rl4sb]

call the richs and tell them that, they are mostly man btw

[@lucykoelle6602]

abolishing armies does have some appeal.

[@commentatron]

False premise. "We're" not afraid. Also, isn't telling "society" how to behave like telling a corporation how to behave. It's an inanimate thing.

[@Sachbolopolkholo]

Theres always a hot girl and her friend in the club.. you are checking out the pretty one and she is enjoying it but then her jealous friend labels it as creepiness and takes her away

[@SomeOne_1409]

highfyify Hahaha

[@joeldwest]

highfyify You mean saves her from your shallow interests....

[@joeldwest]

Prashant Chouksey And you’re not getting any either, village boy, so what, nobody cares.

[@joansoboloff8593]

Extremely well done! Thank you!

[@panjitimor8823]

As a Man, we need to make sure our women happy, that's our responsibility

[@purpleanex]

Panji Timor ...simp.

[@candycandy42069]

You should see how they dealt with pregancy in the office

[@yosoy1loco]

What does cat-calling have to do with objectification? What does objectification have to do with degrading a person? I get the problem on how we teach woman to be embarrassed or even feel strange to their own body and sexuality, but this "objectification"-bantering is absolute misleading.

[@djwessel27]

Are you serious? Objectification means treating a person like an object (a sexual object), which is degrading. Cat calling will make someone feel uncomfortable, but the cat caller isn't considering their emotions as a person, they're just thinking of them as an object who will accept whatever is shouted at them. The cat-caller doesn't care how their actions makes the cat-called feel . I don't know what is unclear here.

[@yosoy1loco]

If this is true, i would also objectificate someone by calling him carpenter, asshole or whatever by reducing him to a certain aspect of his beeing without asking him for permission. Now you say beeing a carpenter is better than beeing a hot chick - i say that is not your desicion alone. Maybe you believe that calling someone "a carpenter" is no objectification, since a carpenter is a subject and not an material object. In this case i would answer that a hot chick is also no cooked, dead chicken, but a erotical arousing human beeing. Nobody would really believe that calling anyone a something would turn him into a material beeing. That is absurd, or at least for everyone who is not a magician. But this absurdity is created to instrumentalize our language and getting a defense mechanism. There may be a problem, but using the term objectification, (no matter how many people distort the meaning of this term) is misleading and not appropriate to address the problem. The term "object" origins from a philosophical idea. It defines what a subject with its own will/conciousness can focus his will/conciousness on. You cannot define a subject without defining what an object is. You are the object of my interest right now as i am yours, hopefully. I can never tell if you really exist, cause i can only feel myself. Every piece of empathiy is in the end a simulation (not as in freud's interpretation). So in the end I want to be the sexual object of my partners sexual desire and often also of stranger peoples So what is the actual problem of catcalling? I cant tell for sure, but i can tell you where it is situated: in democracy and free speech. If anyone is allowed to share his thoughts, he is also to share his primitive thoughts, even if they are in conflict with others interest. The Problem becomes more if people act on basis of their thoughts as if they would legitimate their behaviour. That is what women dont like and quess what: men also dislike this, but we cant change it. Why? An example: If a girl on a party smiles at me, cause she finds it incredible that im not fitting the typical stereotype of a mathematician and she likes that im successfull at my job, i feel the same way degraded as woman does when someone expresses his sexual desire to her, because of her body: I feel as a provider and she feels like a womb. Bot feel hurt, cause of the primitivity of our natures that is rooted as deep in every human beeing; man and women alike. But as beeings of culture we pay the price, cause it allows us to be free with our notions even if it means that we constantly have to face primitive and uncomfortabl truths: People are sexual beeings and they use each other in exactly this way. We need to learn how to handle that basis instead of denying it with stupid language. Next time a girl gets compliment for her crips ass, she could simply answer that she has even a more attrative brain. Next time a women tells me how she likes my independency i can tell her how i like to keep it that way and that i dont want to share if with someone like her.

[@ijustwanttocomment21]

Well sir i can guarantee you have NEVER dealt with being fourteen years old and being shouted at from a moving car as a man yells "hey sugar--tits!" or "i'd love that pretty mouth around my dick". There is a fundamental difference between your example of a woman smiling at you at a party and the situation I've described. A woman seeing you and thinking "huh, he doesn't fit what I thought a mathematician looked like?" isn't reducing your value as a person. She's simply reorganizing her previously held beliefs. You've interested her. She wants to know you as a person, and has, as your description implies, already learned a bit about you (i.e. your profession). But a man shouting at a girl from a car, or from the sidewalk as she walks home from school or work, doesn't give a third of a shit about her personality. Doesn't care if she's married or funny or a mathematician or if her favorite movie is Sister Act. He doesn't see her as anything more than a set of boobs, an ass, a sex object. He doesn't want to know what she's doing this weekend or what her dream job is. His thoughts revolve around sticking his dick in her or on her, regardless of if she wants it or not. To your suggestion of saying "I have an even nicer brain," yeah most men don't stick around long enough after cat-calling to come up with a fancy reply and if they do, they often say things like "you won't be able to think at all when im done fucking you, whore". So not really a practical suggestion buddy. Hell, many women experience their first case of catcalling LONG before they are of legal age, by men who are decisively out of their peer group. A 13 year old boy making a joke about a 13 year old girl's D cup is rude, annoying, and worthy of getting him slapped. A 31 year old man shouting about a 13 year old girl's D cup is creepy, uncomfortable, pedophilic. Yet, ask almost any woman what her first experience with cat-calling is, and she'll likely give you the second scenario. Likely she was walking home from school, or the store, or maybe sitting in front of the lemonade stand she ran with her friends. Some guy from across the street or in his car said something that made her feel dirty. That made her feel like her emotions and personality weren't important. That her entire "appeal" for him was the two lumps of fat and tissue sitting on her chest. And because we teach women that it is SHAMEFUL to be sexual and media aimed at men focus on women's bodies (Carl's Jr. burger ads, Sports cars, Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, video games, action flicks, the list goes on), this cycle of women feeling dirty when catcalled and men thinking it's normal continues. If your example of a woman "smiling" at you involved the universal blow job sign (y'know someone jabbing their tongue against their cheek while miming a hand-job) or if her first words to you were "mmmm let me suck that fat cock" then yup, accurate comparison. But the scenario YOU chose described her acknowledging your humanity and your personality. That is a pleasure denied to women when catcalled. You may not like it, you may feel like you're being reduced to something that isn't your entire personality, we feel like we're nothing more than a slightly warmer sex doll. There's also the "im scared for my life" aspect of catcalling, especially if you're alone. But that's an entirely different conversation that deals with rape culture and violence against women. I highly doubt you've ever felt threatened or scared by a woman smiling at you from across the room, likely mildly annoyed at worst. So please, sir, before you try to explain to me why being cat-called isn't actually degrading, realize that, unless you are a survivor of sexual assault, rape, or domestic abuse, you've likely NEVER experienced the same amount of shame and pain that women do, simply for having our anatomy, when we're catcalled. (And no, I'm not saying that catcalling is equal to rape or domestic assault. Rape and domestic assault are INCREDIBLY vile and horrific crimes that violate a person's inalienable right to their body and to their health and sanity, but men aren't often catcalled and aren't often shamed for their bodies, so it was the best comparison for males that I could make in terms of being shamed for their bodies and inherent sexuality.)

[@yosoy1loco]

Natalie Schweitzer That is quite a long text, and youtube is not a good platform to quote and answer, so i will only recap what i have to say: - Im not sure you read my second comment wher i explained that the problem of objectification is also a problem of words. People use this word in a new sense, mixing up some old meanings, but in the end they do no address the actual problem, they even make new ones by denying the fact that people even want to be the object of their partners sexual desire. Objectification is not the problem here, but missing communication between the sexes. - In terms of sexual desire between people that are not in a relationship we simply have no other choice than to communicate. Other wise we have to endure the unwanted behaviour or even make severe incisions on the constitutional law, since what you are offended by is in the end your own subject. For example: If a girl forms her indexfinger and middlefinger to a V only to stick out her tongue licking between them while looking at me, i would simply laugh my ass off instead of feeling threatened by her oralsex-gestures. It is your turn to behave different and explain a men while you feel threatened by it. But then if he doesnt listen what should we do then? - Im general If you have the right to feel degraded by vulgar comments then i have the right to fell degraded by beeing judged for my superficial personality traits that fits tje picture of how they want "her man". Women judge as men do, but express more subtle. They dont smile at me for my inner values that are inivisible to them anyway, they get attracted by my "nice and humorous" behaviour that fits the provider role, my firm ass, and my filled pockets and independent livestyle which are caused by the fact that im a nerd without fitting the outwardly unattractive look of such a stereotype. I interpret the smile as "what i see from you is attracting me, i want to get to know you to see what i can get from you". They dont know me, they pretend to know me, when in the end they do the same as men do: They see what they can get. So what i wanna say is, since both sexes behave like ugly neanderthals it is not your turn to decide what i dislike, while it is not mine to decide what you like - in the end we have to deal with the unfair world - for everything else there are laws. - In this connection i can understand the pedophilia thing, but since most sexual assaults to children at home are done by their mothers than their fathers i think the problem is not only caused by men. To be honest, in my 33 years i have never encountered such behaviour of old men against young girls on the streets in my country, but i feel it is quite different here than in the states. - At last but not least i completely agree with you that women not only feel a lot more vulnerable, but are in fact more vulnerable to sexual assault, since the majority of them is simply physically weaker and men tend to be more willing to just take what they want. I feel the only thing that helps without restricting our free thinking is to allow women more weapons in selfdefense and teach them in schools to use em. This way they are not only able to defend themselves if necessary, but young girls are also taught behave like women in a dangerous world than princesses in dream castle.

[@TheJoelef]

no obejctifcation is just as term to shame male sexualuty

[@FeminismoComClasse]

Wonderful talk, Sofia! Thank you for this!

[@jlvandat69]

I think most women would benefit (personally) more by focusing on their own objectification of men than men's tendency to perceive women as objects.

[@ThatGuyThanus]

😂

[@myfreedomfirst]

She is a bit mistaken about alcohol. People often underestimate how much alcohol they drink so doctors are making presumptions on much people will drink.

[@Frey0Skule]

That's exactly what she said.....

[@shawnsumpter8633]

SHE IS A BAD ASS.

[@maddyk2173]

This is such a great talk. Sharing it times a thousand! Thanks for taking the time to do this. Cheers! Im impressed with the amount of anti-feminists/naysayers that have rallied in the comments of this video. Means you're doing something right! ;)

[@djwessel]

Maddy K you just made my night

[@sexyboy98231]

sofia jawed-wessel mam, I liked this talk , but don't u know that sex and alcohol during pregnancy are highly troublesome for an unborn foetus,...ask your gynecologist sex may lead to variety of complications. They are not fools to tell u to avoid it

[@wholeshebang1]

Sheesh, sanju rocks! Stop telling women what to do with their bodies. Moderate alcohol intake during pregnancy is not harmful to a foetus. Having sex during pregnancy is not harmful to a foetus.

[@sexyboy98231]

Whole Shebang yeah u are right, but why to take the risk??? Its like taking poison but in small amounts so that it won't harm us.. what if someone is more sensitive to that poison ?? 95% of the medicinal drugs used in daily basis are contraindicated in pregnancy ...why???..Are there any known side effects?? No but just as a precautionary measure. Hurting a unborn foetus is the last thing a doctor would want!!!..That's the reason of these restrictions...

[@sexyboy98231]

Whole Shebang lol and why would we force u to do something?? Anyways it would be a sin on your head if u kill a innocent unborn baby just because u had a desire to get laid and drink alcohol!!...

[@jairussiriyalaofficial8922]

people think what little they may know is sufficient knowledge to live, and suggest it on others life for their good , but when this becomes important for life the suggestion becomes pressure or a rule to be followed. lack of this knowledge is what has to be corrected not that no one other than a doc shuould only talk what would help her ( pregnency ) .

[@deepakranjantripathy5052]

Remember 6. You can read it as 6 or 9 from two different angles.

[@jasminemora6869]

I think her dress is cute if it's not ur style so what she obviously likes it because she's wearing it.

[@BobJohnson-nf8tv]

made love just under 6 months of pregnancy which caused my wife to have a ruptured membrane that day, then she had our 1lb 10 ounce child after a few more days of bedrest months ahead of her due date. I blame sex during pregnancy. Cost almost $200,000 over 30 years ago and my child had many issues caused by what you would have advised us to do at the detriment of our child. people have a choice and my advice is not to risk the same fate on your child as we did for a few moments of pleasure.

[@fredhubbard7210]

I am sorry for your struggle with your childs' health struggle, but correlation is not causation. There is no way that you should be beating yourself up for this coincidence. Humans cause so much needless suffering by superstition.We had a series of ill-fated children, and I understand the impulse to find a cause, but really, it brings no healing, and no answers that make any difference.

[@AjayMishra-mq5jn]

Bob Johnson But it is risky, isn't it ??? So don't relate everything to "Feminism"..... I'm sorry for you friend

[@husseinmeghji4315]

Ajay Mishra

[@sasquatchcrew]

Ok, so how could we replicate that situation? Lets get couples to have sex while the women are pregnant and see what happens! Otherwise, superstition and logical reasoning are all we have.

[@americancitizen748]

Different couples will have different results. Not everyone is the same.

[@latinaalma1947]

Consumption of alcohol affects brain anatomy. I had a firend who was the vctim of alcohol overconsumption by his alcoholic mother....he has had several of the physiological markers of genetic damage and lowered IQ. Fetal alcohol sybdrome is REAL. Studies have shown as little as one drink can have effects...not to the degree that fetal alcohol syndrome does BUT it still is deleterious. Damage such as this harms not only the child, but society as well, increasing costs of remedial educatiin not to mention the trsgic realization a person later has that their health issues could have easily been prevented. So YES society DOES have a stake in the birth of your alcohol affected child...same with underweight babies born to women who smoke. Sybil Francis PhD clinicsl psychologist and professor since 1979

[@KaushikBala333]

How are they not talking about the weird men who would want to get involved in this.

[@suvendukarar3340]

She's really talking about the subject matter of sexsobio to just touching base on Hearts belongs to gorgeous mixseble fillings on my own experience. God bless this beauty lady.

[@evescent7312]

These demn speeches, I tell you... How many times already did I say "Oh s**t" in astonished voice throughout these videos

[@GeckoHiker]

Yes, it is safe to drink in moderation during pregnancy and lactation, and it is legal to do so. However, I chose not to drink at all during pregnancy, and just a little bit of imported beer during the early stages of breastfeeding--which is hell on tender nipples. But I did drink myself into a stupor after the first driving lesson for a 15-year-old man-child. Oy vey! They think they know everything! Sex during pregnancy is fabulous for a woman's body and mind, and husbands enjoy it, too. Lactation is good during labor, almost as good as sex during labor, which the midwife encouraged. After the first, my subsequent labor and deliveries went fast because I was still nursing the previous baby and it helped with the contractions. Oxytocin is better than pitocin for a smooth labor.

[@8BitDylan]

Amazing Sofia! So proud of you!

[@djwessel]

Aw Dylan!!

[@writerconsidered]

Checking on your comments, good that makes it easy. So you argue against sweeping generalizations with sweeping generalizations in a narrow point of view. I checked your bio and sure enough as suspected by many commenters gender studies comes up. OK lets start with " the law refuses to punish men for raping women." A ridiculous claim for one of the most complex legal issues in this country. The real problem is the entire justice system in this country is broken. Yes there are too many cases where rape is not prosecuted and there are too many cases of innocent men in prison for a rape allegation they never committed. There are too many cases of women not reporting rape to the police. There are too many cases of no physical evidence to prosecute a rapist. And lets not forget your home state of Nebraska that refuses to prosecute football players for a rape caught on video. The fact is the legal system needs to reinvent an entirely new system to handle rape cases from the ground up that prosecutes the guilty and exonerates the innocent. Even this paragraph is simplistic in nature but far more complex than your single line of " the law refuses to punish men for raping women." OK catcalling is rude and uncouth fair enough. And yes touching pregnant women's belly's is just wrong. Objectification is a thing but it is far more complex than you give it credit for. Evolutionary psychology is your friend you should look it up. Men and women objectify each other but the objectification has sex specific patterns. Men objectify that woman and that woman and this woman and the other women. Women objectify "that" guy. Objectification is sexual selection in action. The "slut" and the " nice girl." Men are wired to spread their seed far and wide, the very nature of no investment in that sexual encounter is the very nature of emotional disinvestment. When it comes to the "nice girl" she is marriage material because to make that kind of emotional and financial investment you need the security of paternity and the security of a woman least likely to cheat in the long run. A woman who likes a hungry appetite for lots of men probably won't stay faithful for very long. Women also have the same criteria, women know better than to marry a "player" for the exact same reason. OK here we run into " Do you know your own species?" Humans really suck at decision making. Women are human and no better than men. There is an instinct to control individuals in society from making mistakes that could harm them and others. pregnant women make bad decisions too not because they are not capable of making good decisions but because too many pregnant women do make bad decisions. Like the pregnant woman I saw smoking in front of a store a few days ago. I didn't say anything too her but smoking and pregnancy don't mix. That autonomy you talk about well there is another human being attached to that autonomy so that is not exactly autonomous is it. I'm from Massachusetts, we are a serious pro-choice state. I am pro-choice as well. But women need to make the decision to either abort which is fine OR give their baby the best possible in utero development possible. Epigenetics is a thing and anything that can harm the development of the baby is harmful to the future of that child. Again " Do you know your own species?" Americans are excessive in almost every way possible. We are a nation of excessive drinkers and excessive drugers. Moderation drinking is a small minority of the population. With the record we have in this country with drinking doctors telling women not to drink is a lot easier than telling women to drink in moderation. It's called keep it simple stupid. Pregnant women and sex. I think the problem you have here is Nebraska. As a father in mass. it is common knowledge that pregnant women can have sex. This was verified by my ex-wife's OBGYN doctor. We had sex until they told us not too because they were afraid of premature labor. That was the caution the mayo clinic you cited is about. Most men don't think about other pregnant women in a sexual way and can't imagine having sex with a pregnant woman. That doesn't mean men objectify pregnant women as maternal vessels as you put it means that men just don't consider sex with a woman who is pregnant until their own mate is pregnant and they have an emotional investment with that woman. I think what you are talking about which you conveniently ignored is the redneck Christian right in the heart of Nebraska. In fact I would say most of your talk was a Christian right problem and not the country as whole.

[@amethysticallie]

8BitDylan sexvedio

[@tiarezavaleta8850]

Although you have good arguments, I think you are using evolutionary psychology as a justification rather than as an explanation. Yeah evolutionary psychology explains a lot about human behavior but we are in 21th century and we can think aside those instinctive patterns and embrace that most women are individuals with a autonomy and desires that have enough common sense and awareness of what is best for them. So we don't have to endure estupid people that we don't even know or are not experts telling us what to do.

[@mabonhunts]

I love how people generalize and apply these idea to everyone. Not every man is the same, when you talk about in such general terms you imply that every man acts the same like we're a bunch of robots. You know that these idea your talking about are only this way in the US and not the same in other countries. For some reason people talk about these things and think it happens in every corner of the world and thats wrong there are places that are FAR more socially equal then the US. If your gonna talk about this on TED then you need to understand that MANY other countries are watching the videos and not just the US.

[@ThatGuyThanus]

🤦🏻‍♂️

[@bheemraotorvi1193]

Now you are saying something that makes sense 🙂😉

[@AlohaMichaelDaly]

I’d love to see her debate a strong educated MGTOW - most of what Sofia says would go down in flames

[@mgtowbooboo8530]

we need more mgtow

[@ravenken]

Great Talk. Giving some background on the objectification of women and how it minimizes their humanity. Still, I think it needs to be pointed out that this is a nuanced issue that needs to be identified as such. Two aspects would be this issue is both interpersonal (i.e. direct communication) and institutional (i.e. laws). I don't know if 'culture' is captured by either since I see culture being fed by the interpersonal but still giving a framework to grow like a vine over lattice with lattice being society. Anyway, I think if you focus on institutional you would do a better service to this effort. As the election of chump shows (majority of women...), You've got a long way to go.

[@Venusbabe66]

Wow! Thank you for your thoughts! It is heartening to see that there's at least one male here who actually understands what the message is and how things need to change for humanity to evolve. I don't understand why there are so many men who just don't get it, or don't want to get it? If they understood, they would know that true equality is good for men as much as it is for women.

[@ravenken]

thanks for the kind words. I will say one other thing that I don't get to say often. Women should control 51% of the political force of this country because they understand 'place' better than men do (generally speaking). Women care for what they have and men want to expand their 'holdings'. I think that is just the nature of our evolutionary condition.

[@oneeyedtrousersnake8843]

Venusbabe66, Well, I don't know for sure that the speaker in this video is 100% female for sure, and neither do you miss wankette. I won't fall for the bait and get into a battle of wits with you because you would quickly run out of ammunition ;)

[@ravenken]

Venus, I would not spend too much time arguing with ignorant... I have learned that lesson since you could leave comments on the internet. People like ocean just are looking to get a rise out of people with their 'cromangan' responses. Most of the time these are 'grown' individuals that missed out on life lessons and just run around hating people because they know no better. So, I just ignore them. Instead of engaging them, I recommend more productive tasks/efforts and just leave them to wallow in their stupidity.

[@rabiagrewal2851]

amazing message given by uh..👏👏👏👏

[@junyevo18allinob72]

That's why go MGTOW that's the answer and men would be happy with no pressure at all.

[@imanqiqi6091]

marriage is safe for all people........

[@marvingoodman7381]

Very well done. Points that should be taken..

[@goldminer754]

So you feel violated in your rights when refused too have alcohol in pregnancy. But isnt it then also a violation of your rights not to be allowed to give your child alcohol after birth? I hope you see the point.

[@imranraza1978]

Controversial statements I'm amazed how people can be misled easily

[@roshanegenus7796]

The diversity of opinions. people perceive the world and life deferntly, if you agree or disagree with my argument, there goes the evidence!

[@blackdeath3074]

This video is for the muslims and for the sweden government. They really need it.

[@ThatGuyThanus]

Not just.. why not anyone?

[@user-ks7bq8uc7i]

Not sure about the validity of some of the claims she makes

[@walterrider9600]

so when she says no its okay to go to someone else and not used against us ??

[@user-qz2ld3vt2d]

I am still wondering in how dar these theories are right. Is it that the media learn men to objectify woman or simething else. The doubt that i have mainly stems from the fact that gay man will behave simular to men as straight men do to woman. (From my own experience, saying things like you look beatiful etc.) with the theory of objectifying woman this wouldnt really make sense, since they are objectifying man. Which leads me to think that the problem lays somewhere in either culture or genetics of man. Natural selection can sound reasonable if people that objectify have more sex. If not then it is still very well possible that there is to much stress put on men from culture. That they have to be masculine and have a lot of sex. The strange thing is that people generally only want to talk about the presentation of woman on mens behaviot instead of the presentation of man. This is all specilation, dont take any of my words for facts

[@rishikoriginal]

Do men have rights to take care of her during pregnancy ? Can men take care of women and not getting a reply that 'They are Independent' and they don't need us? They can do everything alone!

[@sarahtrook285]

I think the point is that taking care of her does not mean you stop letting her make her own choices or not respecting her opinion. They aren't mutually exclusive. If she wants your help and your care and you want to give it than provide it. But if she doesn't or doesn't agree with your opinion on her choices respect that. She isn't required to accept your help just because she is pregnant. As long as you understand this there isn't any issue.

[@lalithanatarajan161]

Awesome well explained

[@deandre1988]

wow, this is absolute bollocks. I don't know which rock you are living under, but there's a clear choice being made here. Victimization and focusing only on that which supports your narrative.

[@shannanspeed7971]

Comments like this guy has written is the reason I feel shame for being a man. I will always support and love the woman that have made my life possible.

[@mrityunjaypathak4521]

@@shannanspeed7971 awesome soul u r!

[@YamenNazer]

Amazing i loved it

[@umangjain5460]

TED you've got to do something about those lip smacking noises. I just can't stand them anymore.

[@aplicqu8761]

It's those close mikes they use...

[@Heeman5]

Me too, I quit viewing.

[@bes1batch1976]

Equality is not equal, sometimes there are very few societies that dont treat women as equals

[@ThatGuyThanus]

Many, if not all, societies..

[@arianelallemand2042]

bravo,so true and quite fascinating

[@juanpueblo316]

If according to Sophia .. society should Stop TELLING women WHAT to Do with their BODIES... My question to Sophia is.. Is it ok for women to SELL their BODIES??

[@tejaswinipatil2690]

its her body to sell and just so you know men sell their body too. are we complaining to it ...no. then why for women .... level of hypocrisy you see

[@dan020350]

i think she wrote an essay -.- and the teacher read what he was looking for....

[@valeriejewell2015]

Why don't you just come out and say it???? Women can do themselves faster and better than HIM...

[@SoulDiscretion]

this was a great speach! well done.

[@danwkirk]

You say government a lot. Do you have a chip on your shoulder about government?

[@yoga_celeste]

Girl you are revolutionary!

[@andyarnette9220]

Hahaha! Stupidity at its...well... its dumbest!!!

[@greyedgerton2890]

Interesting how so very much can be gleaned from an isolated piece of history. Especially since history has been re- written a million times, and no one can agree on what it really means in the first place.

[@johnharrill1]

Too much compression. That is what brings her breathing and mouth noises up.

[@geetarbube]

The sound engineers get this wrong a lot in these Ted talks

[@FirstLast-fr4hb]

How did this even get on TED?This is completely the opposite of everything the intellectual community stands for.

[@jatinbatra3617]

Awsmm thoughts for equality.

[@anthrograd13]

Excellent!!

[@ScorpioGoddess-vq5dc]

Love this God bless you

[@1musichombre]

obviously a hit for her immediate audience. but i wonder why do we need to pay people to model common sense

[@1musichombre]

furthermore cat calling is illegal in many places