Women’s sexual pleasure: What are we so afraid of? | Sofia Jawed-Wessel | TEDxOmaha

Our attitudes about women's sexual pleasure - especially during pregnancy - indicate our general feelings of their place in society. Jawed-Wessel charts a path to improving gender equity starting with sex.
Sofia Jawed-Wessel, PhD, MPH is an Assistant Professor of Public Health and Health Behavior at the University of Nebraska at Omaha and the Assistant Director of the Midland Sexual Health Research Collaborative. Jawed-Wessel has led and collaborated on several projects and manuscripts related to women’s and men’s sexual health including, sexual behaviors during pregnancy, sexual functioning during pregnancy and after childbirth, the use of sexual enhancement products, and condom development and use.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@fifabublz17]

I'm a woman; once when i was 11, i was sitting in my 6th grade classroom, doing my classwork. I was sitting comfortably, with my legs apart, just like guys sit. Suddenly, a boy thought he was being funny and asked me, in front of everyone, why I wasn't sitting with my legs closed. That was the first time in my whole life that I felt ashamed of having female body parts, and that was also the first time that i experienced a boy thinking my body was something to be controlled by him. Now I'm older and would tell him off, but my example is one of many that girls experience. If you have a daughter, raise her to be proud to be a girl.

[@purpleanex]

fifabublz17...that's your problem, everyone who's ever lived has heard something said to them they didnt like, get over it you freak.

[@johnnettleton774]

wrecker

[@acer4237]

He was 11 too 😏

[@fifabublz17]

@@johnnettleton774 and what the f is that supposed to mean?

[@kiwiguava9292]

Sharon stone in Basic Instinct.

[@rabinniroula4959]

This positive message must be spread all over the World cause it is very real in our society. Great work Sofia.

[@dsethi05]

Women should have the right to make decisions about their own bodies . Informative .

[@amandataffinder6580]

Incredible, mesmerising, what an incredible woman/human, thank you 🙏

[@atklobas]

the mayo clinic saying "although most women can safely have sex throughout pregnancy, sometimes its best to be cautious" Is not telling a woman what she can and cant do with her body. its informing her so she can make her own decision, by this logic telling a someone that smoking can be risky is telling them what they can and cant do. a boyfriend saying "not worth the risk" telling someone you don't want to have sex with them because you think its too risky does not violate their body autonomy in any way. hell, saying you don't want to have sex for any reason is fine. both parties need to consent (or am I wrong about that?). the hypothetical obgyn saying "while its safe to have sex during pregnancy, sometimes you never know, better safe than sorry" this statement was made to make a point. outside of politics I've never heard someone say "yes, almost certainly, so no"

[@Stephanie-nj6tx]

atklobas yeah the flowed logic of modern feminism

[@artsyterra8350]

My doctor said yes lol with attitude too

[@lalithanatarajan161]

Awesome well explained

[@4tomoconnor]

The basic idea of her presentation I couldn't agree more with. I've personally known too many women that have never let their minds wander to ONLY their own personal gratification...and even when I ask them to please try to think only about themselves, all too many find this difficult. IMO, this is a direct result of their upbringing, with many women never realizing that they have equal rights in the bedroom. However, IMO this presenter is being a bit unfair to men at the 11:30 spot when she suggests that women are told that basically that if "she prioritizes herself it's scary". That may be true with some men, or casual sex "partners", but with men that truly love a woman, they WANT their partner to do exactly that.

[@joansoboloff8593]

Extremely well done! Thank you!

[@jerrytaliercio9087]

I could listen to her all day..I wish she weee my teacher…she’s brilliant

[@mak8972]

Great talk and insight into how female sexuality is used to support inequality on a broader scale.

[@rabiagrewal2851]

amazing message given by uh..👏👏👏👏

[@getalong7383]

I was awestruck Simply... Amazing...👏👏👏

[@arianelallemand2042]

bravo,so true and quite fascinating

[@Kholoured]

Amen, woman should have the right to make their own choices about their body. In EVERY aspect

[@siwadedumelyayet474]

Not abortion

[@trashtocrafts951]

Choices have consequences and regrets later on. might wanna think twice just giving advice before you get offended and not read everything you see on the radical left media is true

[@marvingoodman7381]

Very well done. Points that should be taken..

[@RBYLive]

As what Sophia mentioned, women’s sexual pleasure doesn’t matter. Isn’t it strange, in a world where body positivity, woman empowerment and the feminist movement are rising, that sexual pleasure and awareness are so underestimated? Children are taught at a young age how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and learn about the reproduction system. The real lesson however, that has been forgotten in the sex education is how to find sexual pleasure and develop a healthy sexual identity. In a society where boys are allowed to speak openly about their sexual desires and pleasures, girls and woman are shushed. How can we say that in this society feminism is rising, when girls are neglected in their sexual education? So many girls cannot correctly name their genitals. We can’t blame them, they have never learnt to openly speak about this kind of information. I was shocked by the fact that I, a sexuology student, learnt at an age of 21 (!) how to correctly name my genitals and my sexual organs. This isn’t information that girls need to search or take a sexuology course for, this is the kind of information that needs to be handed over at a young age to partially complete the gender gap.

[@ScorpioGoddess-vq5dc]

Love this God bless you

[@jatinbatra3617]

Awsmm thoughts for equality.

[@YamenNazer]

Amazing i loved it

[@George66740]

Excellent!!!!!!

[@SoulDiscretion]

this was a great speach! well done.

[@anthrograd13]

Excellent!!

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

Fantastic, whatever you said is relevant. The anti reality victims are gonna hate it, that's the real fun. You nailed it Sophia.

[@skiyalater626]

Pregnant women are absolutely beautiful!

[@ostensiblegoosethief1305]

Really no one should be drinking alcohol 🤷 it's by far the most detrimental substance in society

[@ArcanumOverseer]

Yep

[@vivthespiv1]

perhaps smallmindedness fits that criteria too

[@ostensiblegoosethief1305]

@@vivthespiv1 are you suggesting small mindedness should be a class 1 carcinogen?

[@johanliebert3609]

Dude alchohal is medicine All things is bad if we overdo

[@ostensiblegoosethief1305]

@@johanliebert3609 no it's categorically not

[@madmisskelly]

Girl I don't know you but I would gladly hear all about your studies if I met you at a party. Everything you had to say was so interesting and on point. You nailed it.

[@djwessel]

Miss Kelly Renee sounds like we need to get ourselves to a party ASAP

[@madmisskelly]

sofia jawed-wessel oh of course. I work for the wic program so it's interesting to me!

[@anthonytarpley379]

Miss Kelly Renee Hello how are you doing my name is Anthony from Long Beach Ca

[@danl9999]

It's like she's a missionary for depopulation. More and more I realize progressives are tools for the financial elite.

[@faustinomamucod8569]

Anthony Tarpley g

[@danielwilliamson6434]

I am always appalled by our societies attitude to sex. My Grandmother and I had totally frank discussions about sex. She was of course a totally honest intelligent and wonderfull woman. I was under 10 years old. Healthy women want sex and they should. Idiots deny that.

[@LuanaSantos-rl4sb]

really good

[@himanshibakshi7304]

Excellent approach 👏🏻

[@johnbradley8893]

She said women who are told to abstain from sex are told their desires don't matter when in fact it requires two people to have sex meaning both the male and females desires don't matter.

[@SXHQQSSS]

On point! Bravo!

[@pragyapatel8912]

this is one of the most enlightening talks !

[@pam_on_board]

Great and right! Thanks!

[@compostjohn]

Hear hear, well said.

[@vijayakrishna07]

It is like don't ask for food when you are hungry, wait until McDonalds deliver it to your door without your call.

[@3DVizzion]

It always odds me how little woman know about themselves...... but many men also know very very little about themselves. The corolation is great!

[@ArcanumOverseer]

I agree

[@3DVizzion]

@@ArcanumOverseer I guess we are able to see what we are internally but only the people looking at us can tell us what we are externally. So to be able to connect men must tell women what they see of them externally and men must tell what they feel internally so must women so we can connect. Honest communication is key.

[@poongulazhichidambaram8971]

Amazing!Amazing!!

[@bheemraotorvi1193]

Now you are saying something that makes sense 🙂😉

[@GILLEBRATH]

Intelligent woman and informative too . Thank you .

[@purpleanex]

GILLEBRATH...I've yet to meet one...

[@PimsriYotube]

really informative, i really like her

[@johanna1385]

This was awesome - thank you

[@owyn9971]

Ya

[@AshwanikumarSainiARTER]

Yes there is still room for improvement revolving around social taboos for both women and men.

[@FeminismoComClasse]

Wonderful talk, Sofia! Thank you for this!

[@afterboring]

brilliant

[@bruceblake9942]

My wife and I enjoyed sexual intimacy right up until the last week of pregnancy. In fact our daughter was 9 days overdue when she arrived, and was as bright as a button, fully aware of where she was. Needless to say, she has been very curious about sex from an early age. [Aussie in BC]

[@unamacarana]

Outstanding

[@shawnsumpter8633]

SHE IS A BAD ASS.

[@charliebarton]

There was this series of Turkish action films set in the Ottoman Empire with Cuney Arkin. I loved how repeatedly you could see "Ahhh, he's gonna sleep with that Christian woman and leave her, and convert that Christian woman and marry her." Worked like a charm every time. One can note that Turkish films and probably Islamic countries in general often have a theme of inter-communal marriage, but it's always Muslim male with non-Muslim female. Bit of objectification I suppose.

[@enjoyingquietly]

This was so eye opening!!!!

[@christinromeo8639]

This was incredible. This woman is my hero. Intelligent and amazing.

[@xaviersarria9702]

Christin Michelle

[@seneca7170]

christin michelle. what is your opinion about this video?

[@jaytownsend4021]

When do you talk about pleasure,,I did not hear that part?

[@jimsweeney743]

Ray Price Tribute

[@masteroogway2]

I already prefer to use word beautiful 😁😁😁😁

[@yoga_celeste]

Girl you are revolutionary!

[@andyarnette9220]

Hahaha! Stupidity at its...well... its dumbest!!!

[@Goddessglow888]

I don't understand the unnecessary hate and attacking in the comment section against this woman. She didn't say anything wrong okay maybe her scientific facts needed a little more credibility and accuracy but this woman just destroyed sexism, classism, objectification of women, misogyny, the lack of sex education and its importance and all you're commenting on is how close the mic was to her mouth? Sorry but THAT by itself is misogyny, you might want to look it up. Well done Sofia for taking the time to address such important issues that concern everyone and not just women. Much respect for you lady.

[@purpleanex]

vintagedesigner..misandric gynocetriic bollocks.

[@paragkadam2169]

Government refusing to punish rapists... What country do you live in??

[@BG-mw7bp]

USA

[@ramkumar-yx1rf]

It happens when security forces commit, esp. in south Asian countries where security forces enjoy impunity for the crimes committed on civilians

[@andrzejsamorzewski146]

Sweden, Norway and UK is on the way.

[@LuanaSantos-rl4sb]

Brazil

[@faraqkul]

INDIA BRO , next day you'll get bail by giving some amount of money

[@dan020350]

i think she wrote an essay -.- and the teacher read what he was looking for....

[@carlosfield547]

These Topics are really interesting and educational and uncover so many Tabooes

[@rahuladagale3235]

Great Sofia... Phenomenal speech

[@blackarts8876]

Though I think some of the points have value, there are many points which are extended beyond their logical boundaries. Not every event creates inequality.

[@visionaryman3548]

Yes... Modern victim culture is strong with this one

[@LuanaSantos-rl4sb]

like what?

[@candycandy42069]

You should see how they dealt with pregancy in the office

[@harrycondo4210]

Hank william

[@prakashah1189]

Thank you professor

[@alwishaikdelgadoalaudin4096]

great speech ... professor :)

[@deepakranjantripathy5052]

Remember 6. You can read it as 6 or 9 from two different angles.

[@robertallingham]

Hear! Hear! It is so refreshing to hear the truth spoken.

[@SoulDiscretion]

A friend of mine asked for a smear test at the local doctors. She was denied and the doctor said she was premiscuous because she didnt have kids. She is 47 years old!

[@nafishy]

i love this one

[@uzmatvofficial1034]

Kia mood h

[@amitavabhattacharjee3046]

great talk.

[@superhuman4747]

2:00 a similar experience I have had. Like that boy. You feel aroused by looking at a woman. But u came to know that she knows your entire family and your entire family knows her, expect u. And u came to know about this just now. Then suddenly you get turned off.... Lol... Objectification of Women.

[@jimmyryan6179]

By

[@shfd3832]

What are u saying? I dont get it.

[@accountusername8647]

2 years later and that mic still too close to her mouth

[@8BitDylan]

Amazing Sofia! So proud of you!

[@djwessel]

Aw Dylan!!

[@writerconsidered]

Checking on your comments, good that makes it easy. So you argue against sweeping generalizations with sweeping generalizations in a narrow point of view. I checked your bio and sure enough as suspected by many commenters gender studies comes up. OK lets start with " the law refuses to punish men for raping women." A ridiculous claim for one of the most complex legal issues in this country. The real problem is the entire justice system in this country is broken. Yes there are too many cases where rape is not prosecuted and there are too many cases of innocent men in prison for a rape allegation they never committed. There are too many cases of women not reporting rape to the police. There are too many cases of no physical evidence to prosecute a rapist. And lets not forget your home state of Nebraska that refuses to prosecute football players for a rape caught on video. The fact is the legal system needs to reinvent an entirely new system to handle rape cases from the ground up that prosecutes the guilty and exonerates the innocent. Even this paragraph is simplistic in nature but far more complex than your single line of " the law refuses to punish men for raping women." OK catcalling is rude and uncouth fair enough. And yes touching pregnant women's belly's is just wrong. Objectification is a thing but it is far more complex than you give it credit for. Evolutionary psychology is your friend you should look it up. Men and women objectify each other but the objectification has sex specific patterns. Men objectify that woman and that woman and this woman and the other women. Women objectify "that" guy. Objectification is sexual selection in action. The "slut" and the " nice girl." Men are wired to spread their seed far and wide, the very nature of no investment in that sexual encounter is the very nature of emotional disinvestment. When it comes to the "nice girl" she is marriage material because to make that kind of emotional and financial investment you need the security of paternity and the security of a woman least likely to cheat in the long run. A woman who likes a hungry appetite for lots of men probably won't stay faithful for very long. Women also have the same criteria, women know better than to marry a "player" for the exact same reason. OK here we run into " Do you know your own species?" Humans really suck at decision making. Women are human and no better than men. There is an instinct to control individuals in society from making mistakes that could harm them and others. pregnant women make bad decisions too not because they are not capable of making good decisions but because too many pregnant women do make bad decisions. Like the pregnant woman I saw smoking in front of a store a few days ago. I didn't say anything too her but smoking and pregnancy don't mix. That autonomy you talk about well there is another human being attached to that autonomy so that is not exactly autonomous is it. I'm from Massachusetts, we are a serious pro-choice state. I am pro-choice as well. But women need to make the decision to either abort which is fine OR give their baby the best possible in utero development possible. Epigenetics is a thing and anything that can harm the development of the baby is harmful to the future of that child. Again " Do you know your own species?" Americans are excessive in almost every way possible. We are a nation of excessive drinkers and excessive drugers. Moderation drinking is a small minority of the population. With the record we have in this country with drinking doctors telling women not to drink is a lot easier than telling women to drink in moderation. It's called keep it simple stupid. Pregnant women and sex. I think the problem you have here is Nebraska. As a father in mass. it is common knowledge that pregnant women can have sex. This was verified by my ex-wife's OBGYN doctor. We had sex until they told us not too because they were afraid of premature labor. That was the caution the mayo clinic you cited is about. Most men don't think about other pregnant women in a sexual way and can't imagine having sex with a pregnant woman. That doesn't mean men objectify pregnant women as maternal vessels as you put it means that men just don't consider sex with a woman who is pregnant until their own mate is pregnant and they have an emotional investment with that woman. I think what you are talking about which you conveniently ignored is the redneck Christian right in the heart of Nebraska. In fact I would say most of your talk was a Christian right problem and not the country as whole.

[@amethysticallie]

8BitDylan sexvedio

[@tiarezavaleta8850]

Although you have good arguments, I think you are using evolutionary psychology as a justification rather than as an explanation. Yeah evolutionary psychology explains a lot about human behavior but we are in 21th century and we can think aside those instinctive patterns and embrace that most women are individuals with a autonomy and desires that have enough common sense and awareness of what is best for them. So we don't have to endure estupid people that we don't even know or are not experts telling us what to do.

[@ariannal.o921]

Simply amazing!!

[@thomassia3299]

not interested

[@mjag2834]

+Thomas Sia prematurely Menopausal!

[@arumugam6face64]

Crianlarich L.O

[@marguerit8]

it was all about pregnancy, you need to change the title

[@iammygloriousbrain5870]

nice info

[@MrJoeyBoombotz]

Sex can be had without any guilt as long as the person does not draw up any images or anger/hate while having it. Most sex is done with lust (displaced hate) or anger/irritation and why the person feels guilty. That drains the mind and body of health and love of life. Sensual people are death centered and suicidal. Sensible people are not, and have a zest for life, family and doing/defending the calm, wordless, intuitive understanding all were given when they were made. Sensible people are seen and judged to be 'mean' by sensual people. They are not.

[@WizardOfTheHills]

Wow, you got sent to the principal’s office for that? I fear that I would have been expelled if I grew up where you lived, considering how I spent time during language lessons.

[@danielwilliamson6434]

My Grandma once told me that sex between a MAN and a WOMAN was one of Gods greatest gifts to Humanity.

[@EMPRESSALYXIS]

Samsung 7 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

[@user-kw9hg9o]

Alyxis Mosquera According to a few studies, internet trolling is a good indicator of narcissism and/or sociopathy/psychopathy.That's what's wrong.

[@marcarmstrong7668]

Thanks for letting me know about the cloud

[@marcarmstrong7668]

Can we see

[@jamesclose5085]

The best Ted talk so far.

[@fasminasherin9032]

Love and respect to u !!

[@m.hassan4755]

For me cute means sensitive beautiful and fragile and pregnant women with baby in her belly deserves a lot more care. I was very shocked after listening her point of views, women don't get pregnant after getting PhD in gynecology, if anyone is telling pregnant women precautions by their experiences or taking care of her sensitively, isn't this a act of kindness ??? Or you are bizarre enough to consume that kindness. Women deserves to be respected from the men so do the man deserves respect from her but comparing them on equality is insane. Its like sun and moon can't compared on equality, both are good on their properties. People need to understand this that having bad experiences doesn't means kindness is ended. The world is filled with lot of lunatics and crazy people. Its your responsibility to take care of yourself, be aware of the consequences for the steps that you take and learn from others mistakes. Envy and revenge can't bring peace but forgiveness and kindness can.

[@kishorsinghrajpurohit6902]

good luck

[@purplealice]

I have the figure of a Goddess - the Venus of Willendorf!

[@colasalz2]

the result of the study about drinking while pregnant is not " it is totally safe" to drink , it is just: there are no big evidences that moderate drinking is having a big negative impact. So nothing about " secret " or not telling the moms.

[@foodtravel4494]

sounds preety!

[@jasminemora6869]

I think her dress is cute if it's not ur style so what she obviously likes it because she's wearing it.

[@oscargalaviz3228]

Que. Bella. Niña. E. Inteligente

[@KaushikBala333]

How are they not talking about the weird men who would want to get involved in this.

[@rishi8840]

willandorf effect? what happened when titanic sank?

[@maddyk2173]

This is such a great talk. Sharing it times a thousand! Thanks for taking the time to do this. Cheers! Im impressed with the amount of anti-feminists/naysayers that have rallied in the comments of this video. Means you're doing something right! ;)

[@djwessel]

Maddy K you just made my night

[@sexyboy98231]

sofia jawed-wessel mam, I liked this talk , but don't u know that sex and alcohol during pregnancy are highly troublesome for an unborn foetus,...ask your gynecologist sex may lead to variety of complications. They are not fools to tell u to avoid it

[@wholeshebang1]

Sheesh, sanju rocks! Stop telling women what to do with their bodies. Moderate alcohol intake during pregnancy is not harmful to a foetus. Having sex during pregnancy is not harmful to a foetus.

[@sexyboy98231]

Whole Shebang yeah u are right, but why to take the risk??? Its like taking poison but in small amounts so that it won't harm us.. what if someone is more sensitive to that poison ?? 95% of the medicinal drugs used in daily basis are contraindicated in pregnancy ...why???..Are there any known side effects?? No but just as a precautionary measure. Hurting a unborn foetus is the last thing a doctor would want!!!..That's the reason of these restrictions...

[@sexyboy98231]

Whole Shebang lol and why would we force u to do something?? Anyways it would be a sin on your head if u kill a innocent unborn baby just because u had a desire to get laid and drink alcohol!!...

[@roshanegenus7796]

The diversity of opinions. people perceive the world and life deferntly, if you agree or disagree with my argument, there goes the evidence!

[@tridev6040]

Highly logical bogus.20% is good.80% tried to shift the focus of the discussion.

[@superhuman4747]

Vinus - the Goddess of Love and Beauty.

[@_victoria427]

*Venus

[@Cookiecat01]

I really like the style of her dress.

[@commentatron]

False premise. "We're" not afraid. Also, isn't telling "society" how to behave like telling a corporation how to behave. It's an inanimate thing.

[@myfreedomfirst]

She is a bit mistaken about alcohol. People often underestimate how much alcohol they drink so doctors are making presumptions on much people will drink.

[@Frey0Skule]

That's exactly what she said.....

[@latinaalma1947]

Consumption of alcohol affects brain anatomy. I had a firend who was the vctim of alcohol overconsumption by his alcoholic mother....he has had several of the physiological markers of genetic damage and lowered IQ. Fetal alcohol sybdrome is REAL. Studies have shown as little as one drink can have effects...not to the degree that fetal alcohol syndrome does BUT it still is deleterious. Damage such as this harms not only the child, but society as well, increasing costs of remedial educatiin not to mention the trsgic realization a person later has that their health issues could have easily been prevented. So YES society DOES have a stake in the birth of your alcohol affected child...same with underweight babies born to women who smoke. Sybil Francis PhD clinicsl psychologist and professor since 1979

[@geekgeek3353]

it is safe to have a moderate drink during woman's pregnancy?! wow...go girls! go!

[@ginafarina]

Bravo! And Brava!

[@goodnightmyprince2716]

Total freedom