Women Who Don’t Know Their Worth Are The Worst Friends

Why women who don’t know their worth make the worst friends.

[@toscadonna]

If you’re arguing with a woman who has no self esteem or love, you will NEVER win that argument with her. She will side with her male abuser against you every time, and she may even side with the males who abuse you and decide his behaviors are your fault. It’s happened to me repeatedly with my girl friends.

[@Sky-yh3ml]

Damn! Ain’t no way: not chancing that w self hatred mammys!!😮 Too scary my eye twitched

[@BlendedBarbieDoll]

I believe this type of argument is a challenge when the person proving advice is not in a relationship. They are viewed as not having a point of reference unfortunately. People who are unhealthy relationships and marriages need to speak up more but often do t want ti be both with the drama.

[@jeanniehobbes6144]

This is my mom to a T whenever I mention being SA'd by a family friend when I was 19 and 20, she'll just side with EVERYONE but you

[@kattodoggo3868]

That's exactly what my mother does. Protecting her abuser. I told her straight up that I am kicking him out of the flat with her or without her. Gezus Christ. It's madness

[@MyDuckSaysFucc]

Honestly this has happened to me twice but the victims were both men, and they behaved the same exact way… the abuse in both cases was severe. I just can’t stick around to watch that, even if it’s a family member. They will almost always side with their abuser, even when that means the abuse gets turned on you. They won’t protect you. Even if you are a direct family member like a child and the victim is your parent… worse combo

[@elisabeth4342]

If your female friends just use you as a shoulder to cry on, but THEY can't take the time out to listen to YOU, and they betray your trust, you NEED to sever the friendship... it was NEVER a normal two-way friendship! You'll never miss them!

[@shantavanee]

Facts! I ended that fake friendship quickly 🙌🏽💯

[@Mini-ge9sm]

These type of women will turn on you!! Stay away, they become jealous and can hurt you!!!

[@Liz-wz8dh]

It's really not good to have deeply insecure friends anyway. Male or female.

[@shiasfiance]

"Men are like buses, miss one won't be long before another one is coming."

[@CupidsHouseOfCards]

I'm surprised that no one mentioned one of the other HUGE reasons to not stay friends with people like this: they expect you to have low standards just like they do. Beware of friends that say you're "too picky" in choosing partners. Whenever I heard that from women, I always silently thought "No, I just have standards" They start to resent you because your life doesn't mirror theirs and they don't understand it. Birds of a feather flock together. They're used to dysfunction in their lives, so they have a hard time accepting people that don't have the same issues and experiences. You can love them from a distance, but the closer you are to them the more they will drag you into their mess.

[@cvdarina96]

This!

[@HereForTheCatContent]

Yes! Or even try to create a mess for you, trying to talk you into things like talking to or dating a guy you don't want, or creating weird situations if you're out doing something social. It's kind of strange and very annoying.

[@queenofstyle8979]

Thisss THE ONE!

[@patty-pat-pat]

Exactly, its like having Carrie Bradshaw as your friend... Exhausting! Everything is about her & her relationships. Remember when Miranda asked te girls 'can we talk about ANYTHING other than men?' And no one knew what to say next.

[@shawnab]

Especially ones that always want you to come around when their toxic boyfriend is there, I felt like she was using me as a a shield "a protection from her boyfriend" she was a associate, we were associated for one year and I had to stop that and cut her off summer 2023, she's a beautiful girl but last time I saw her she look drained and lost her beauty, now I have 2 friends who check up on me when I get quiet/ no drama ❤

[@sg5720]

Lost a lot of friends cause hubby and I just roll different. They constantly want a “good man” and constantly settle for crap.

[@mzgymeni]

I love that 4 you because This is how a lot of people get hurt.

[@77kc_77]

Extremely draining when you deal with women who deal with toxic men.. these wonen never take accountability for their choices in men - these women will sacrifice you for male validation

[@racheluk87]

I typically find that women who don't know they're worth will usually be your biggest Ops they will be jealous of women who do know their worth and will try to sabotage them any chance they get, instead of putting that energy into themselves, learning to love themselves and finding true self value and fulfilment.

[@Courteny283]

I was best friends with this girl for 10 years, and for the whole 10 years, she jumped from man to man. She keep having problems with them and asking for my advice. I told her she needed to learn how to be single, depend on herself, and work on herself. Of course, she didn't listen, so i stopped talking to her. It was the best decision I've made because my life elevated after that, and i met like-minded women who im best friends with now. Love yourself, ladies, and happy new year.🥰🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@laela6289]

I've actually said this before and was accused of being judgemental. But everything about this rings true. People who don't know their self worth will feed off of their own suffering and sense of persecution. Worse, they want yes men and enablers, it gets exhausting. Another thing that isn't talked about is that typically these people hate themselves so much they will actually push you away and resent you for treating them well. I remember a ex-friend who I dropped bc her self-destructive behavior was just too much. She was sleeping with criminals, and was generally messy, unhygienic, smoking and drinking all the time. We were preparing to go out into the city and she showed up at my house sloppy, and unwashed. I literally didn't tell her this, but instead just casually offered one of my dresses that would "accentuate her baddie body", tried to encourage matching earrings, and did her hair to "show off her face". She took this as a personal attack, went as far to say that she knew she looked bad, but "I had no right to force her to look nice". No I'm not kidding. Avoid low-confident women. Avoid them like the plague. Movies will tell you to be nice to them and try to lift them up, but that only works when you're a teenager and you're developing self esteem. If you are in your mid-twenties and later, this is just often who they are, and they will try to drag you down with them if you let them.

[@MiniKitty27]

being a therapist friend isn't necessarily a bad thing, but has that friend ever reciprocated that same energy to you during _your_ down days? if yes? that's a good friend who may have more down days than average. if no? that's not a good friend, they're a leach trying to steal your light for themselves and they will suck all the life out of you if you don't set and hold firm your boundaries. the bad friend will be upset about and try to defy the new boundaries in place because they previously benefited from the lack of boundaries and they no longer will receive that benefit, the good friend will be supportive of your new boundaries encourage it and apologize and take accountability whenever they push or cross your boundaries. also be cautious of "friends" who always turn your grievances around to how they've also experienced that but worse or something

[@deeskez]

That’s why I stopped being that friend because I was not receiving the same energy.

[@abrandnewday3581]

This. I stopped being the passive encouraging therapist friend and switched to giving tough love..and I’ve “lost” a couple of girl friends. Feeling less stressed and drama free now 🙌🏻

[@MiniKitty27]

@@deeskez as 👏 you 👏 should 👏

[@baisinbu98]

THIS!!

[@WeGoJaiye]

Wow as a 41 yo woman.... i am elated to hear younger women knowing there worth and standing on business..... i love this for womanity❤❤❤

[@Maya-xm5jx]

If all you talk about is men around me, I’m gone! 😂 Fashion, food, tv shows/films, fragrance, life goals, vacation destinations, etc….so much more to life than a MAN!

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

These kind of friends aren't even good friends. I had so many of them! They never hype you when something good happens to you, they won't be there for you when you need them. If a man is in their lives, they start living for him, and they will defend him or stay silent if he ever attacks you.

[@hubabaloop]

Did you also have this experience - they hater when you start talking to somebody romantically. Like they want you to just be there for them specifically

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

@@hubabaloop yes, and don't try to share anything s*xual with them either. Only *they* are erotic creatures, with fantasies and romantic aspirations

[@aliseozolina4880]

A 24 year old saying “in this big age” just made me laugh so hardddd 🤣

[@narlywaves2371]

It's sad. She thinks she's grown.

[@NarcNerd11]

I ended a 25 yr best-friendship over this. She would not let me have any relief from her hours long, daily drama calls, no matter what boundaries I tried. And, she acted superior. But, she was jealous and competitive. When she reached out to rekindle, she played mind games. She did that to get men & women addicted to her. Had to accept that whatever healthy relationship we might have had was in the past, and cut her out. It was also a lesson for me to learn my worth, of my energy and time, that she siphoned. That was the beginning of me going no contact with a lot of people, including my mother. When its time to clean house... buckle up!

[@OpinionatedBlues]

Say that! 🙌🏾

[@hubabaloop]

Bahahaha she said I’d been that way since 23, “im 24 now and it’s the same” that was funny to me just the way she said that, I thought she was abt to be like “it’s been years and years and it’s been great!”😂😂

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

That's a good place to be early.

[@mignalyortiz4589]

I thought that was funny too 🤣

[@potatokat8453]

To be fair, I had that mindset when I was 23 and now I’m 30. She’s right, the second lead with that mindset your surroundings elevate! 🔥

[@Key-Key444]

Or when they come around when their relationship ends or they take a break or think you’re just jealous or want them to be single 😂🤦🏾‍♀️✌🏾

[@shreyaragade9138]

I once had a friend tell me “your support doesn’t mean as much to me as a guy’s.” Not even a guy she knows, just some random people in our class! It’s exhausting being friends with people who make it all about themselves and are constantly bringing you and themselves down. I mean, why are you even complaining to me if my support doesn’t mean anything to you?!

[@Veracityseeker7]

She sounds very narcissistic.

[@AnusiaLA]

My ex best friend divorced her husband and then desperately looked for a boyfriend. She was obsessed! That’s all she did and talked about. She met a felon… moved him into her house… paid ALL of the bills. I started distancing myself and we barely talked. She calls me crying cause this dude broke down her front door during a fight and broke the birthday gift he got her. I said “omg what an asshole!!!”… she started yelling at me that I can’t talk about him like this and that she loves him and hung up on me. I just completely checked out and stopped talking to her. She hits me up months later to see how I’m doing so I’m hoping she saw the light and they split… turns out he’s back to prison and she’s waiting for him hoping that he’ll finally be ready to be with her when he gets out. That was the last time I talked to her. Insane

[@Liz-wz8dh]

God I love this energy. I disagree that it's not normal to go through toxic relationships when you're in your 20s though. I feel like by your 30s, you need to stop complaining to your friends if you're choosing to stay in the toxic relationship.

[@LyssieLysse]

PERIOD

[@cherryivana1129]

I understand but in your twenties you gotta have boundaries and respect for yourself. Same goes for your thirties.

[@ddoubleu170]

@@cherryivana1129 - If you have enough wisdom, definitely. 🎯☝🏾

[@T_Cup]

My experience with friends like this boils down to 2 things: 1 - Many chase drama on purpose. The worse they put themselves through, the more their friends support them, and that’s the whole trap of being their friend. It’s incredibly one-sided and you’re constantly forced into a position of giving. Victim-hood is such a big part of their identity that your struggles can never overshadow theirs in any way. And too bad if their drama seeps into your life and negatively impacts you 2 - They can never be happy for any of their friends. If they’re suffering and you’re succeeding, they’ll always perceive that as either competition or as being abandoned, because you’re doing something for you and not for them This isn't friendship, its surrogacy. The supportive friend is always taking on the "surrogate mother they wish they had" role and, the moment they step out of that role to be their own person, there’s tension

[@3amDayDreamer]

This is my mom’s relationship with my dad. My aunts, me, and my siblings told her many times to leave my dad but she wouldn’t. She always complains about him and it’s just a huge dark cloud of misery. I love my mom, but I’m gonna keep my distance. She doesn’t have any self respect and she allows my dad to step all over her. She has been working 2 jobs for 25 years and my dad didn’t work for 25 years. Women like my mom, can only take themselves out of this situation. They wouldn’t listen to you.

[@LadyMarigoldWithers]

I am visiting a friend who has no self-worth, is subsequently resentful and needs reassurance about absolutely everything but never wants to do anything to change. It is exhausting. I gave her a pass as she’s nice and had such a rubbish and tragic upbringing but I stretch out the time inbetween seeing her now as I find it so draining to be around her. She’s even dragged me into her relationship issues in front of her other half(!) which makes things super awkward. I have been stern with her a few times on what I will and won’t accept as a friend and this time has been better although she’s now tagging along to something I wanted to do alone today so I might be assertive about just getting on with it and not dithering lol. She’s ok in small doses but there’s only so much you can do with people who refuse to help themselves so my sympathy for her is definitely waning.

[@ZenzoSezSo]

My approach to friends like this is they’ll do something about it when they’ve had enough. Until then, if they like it, I love it. Don’t invest emotions into their situations, give “damn that’s crazy” type responses and move the conversation on. If that doesn’t work, say something and if a compromise isn’t reachable, get some distance between you and them.

[@chelscara]

Had a friend stop complaining to me cause all id do is say "and you _choose_ this because?" He don't like not having an answer to that 😂😂

[@SweetAven00]

I took this title wrong.. I thought it was about friends with low self esteem and they begin to resent you for feeling secure. I do not hang out with women who hate themselves. I had on friend who i doted on, from a toxic family and just hated everything about herself. She sabotaged my life anytime she had a chance. If anyone spoke well on me, she would make sure the convo ended negatively. It was so hurtful, I thought we were close. One time,i I put her in the tub and washed her body when she was the sickest and no one cared smh. I dont care about boy crazy friends.. I say my piece once and then .. not my problem even though I love you. Im always here but I learned trying to be a therapist is not my job if im staying. My life moves right along and theirs fall apart and then they wake up. But im not gonna make you feel dumb..you know it. Thats why you’re complaining again. I speak positivity and move on and maybe im just lucky enough to have friends that moved along too.. eventually. Men are purposely tricking women these days. I would have a hard time being betrayed as well.

[@B_Millie]

"Put her in the tub and washed her body when she was the sickest"💯🤞

[@77kc_77]

Sis, it's all the same women who hate themselves still need male validation

[@Enriquez2222]

@@77kc_77male validation is so useless but they refuse to acknowledge that

[@77kc_77]

@@Enriquez2222 exactly 💯

[@jeanettemena1286]

Yes, I once told my friend that I didn’t think her man who constantly disrespected her was good for her. And she turned against me.

[@TM-nb9zf]

I said this too. I had a coworker that wanted to be friends. But the way she let her man treat her.....i was like ABSOLUTELY NOT..... I need smart friends

[@jennifern.5305]

I’ve seen men call a girl fat or ugly, then have a group of women subtly support this narrative by encouraging the woman to “level up” rather than advise the man to go date his preference. Knowing your worth extends beyond being attuned to your individual situation 🤷‍♀️

[@LyssieLysse]

It’s basically 2024 and I refuse to play therapist to coworkers, family, folks I know, folks that come up to me on the street, etc. I’m finna start charging a $20/hr fee if they want a vent session because my patience and tolerance is NOT for free. If they want to get better, they have to do better and what do they have to gain by telling me what they going to do and not do it? They better call on Jesus.

[@santanaduncan9047]

Whats hurtful is watching your friend neglect and fail you in their lack of support, many times acting oblivious to the needs within the friendship, but miraculously become capable for the men they're interested in. Imagine a person acting too meek to show up, but jump through flaming hoops for men ! 😷... fits inline with women who can give 1001 chances to an aint ish man, whilst being ready to discard you, their friend of umteen years, over slight infractions

[@txspacemom765]

It's exhausting and they suck the life out me. I am too old for it now. I can help you once but if you just keep doing the same thing, I can't after that. They find a man, they go on for some time, she ghosts me, then shows up when she is abused, even after she was warned and called me jealous of her relationship. Umkay.

[@twilightexposure8431]

I was going to say my friend but all she is... Just a roommate. She was cool in the beginning but now, all she talks about is how her professor from college "groomed and SA'd" her and im like... Can we talk about something else? Im not her therapist. That shit is highly depressing and energy draining, especially when she has this victim mindset. Everyday when she wants to talk, she brings it up. And yet... Shes still speaking to him 🫠

[@kathyalex778]

In the teens too I had many friends leave me because of my low self esteem, it became annoying to them. I understand it would have been nice if they stayed around but sometimes only God and a therapist can help 🤷‍♀️

[@Edelwiess1066]

Young people are ill equipped to deal with complex problems so they probably didn't know what to do. I hope you are in a much better place now..

[@AlluminaOnyxia]

That's not what the ops is about. Those are young naive 'friendships'. Just because you have insecurities is no reason to abandon you. The point is that some women repeatedly stay in toxic relationships that affect her behavior in female friendships. She uses the support of friends to keep her feeling high, while allowing a man or men to use up her highest energy. Then the women-friends end up getting their highest energy siphoned into the horrible men she keeps entertaining by being there for her. The warning is for women to mind the relationships we keep when people change and no longer are contributing positively to our friendship.

[@LemonClarkMedia]

First, I love your channel. Second, I’m in my 30s and women w/ low self-esteem have been draining since undergrad/early 20s. Like, why are we still boy-crazy and severely insecure at our big age?

[@A1SoniaM]

I can relate. I don't keep 'friends'😂 for this very reason and so much more. 🙄

[@user-hn1yu8nd5i]

It's honestly the worst to be around these women. They will never treat you with any worth or respect either. They will make it sound like youre too much and you dont know anythign cause you dont have a man if you dont or say shit like well my man isnt like yours and then it turns into a comparing competition. Its so sad to hear them but theyre bad friends and they dont value anything you say or do for them.

[@hurtingfeelingsdaily]

I unfriended someone ive been friends with for decades. Her kids are my god children. But her man issues....long story short. Her husband put her and her kids out several times. Of course i was the shoulder. Fast forward he decides one day she aint it. And he absolutely destroyed her feelings and what not. Filed the papers then took custody of my godson. When she moved out, all of a sudden he couldnt stay away from her house. He wanted to stand out front and smoke cigarettes and make sure the neighborhood knew he was there. One day he tried to talk to me. And i dont feel the need to be nice cause of what he put her through. And since i WOULDN'T PLAY NICE...she scrapped me. Stopped calling and went on Facebook and said she gone be with who she wants and dont care what nobody say. That was over 2 years ago. I miss my godsons. But I dont miss her and her ring around the rosy bullshit with this dude. I told her i dont have to smile in nobody's face for you. That was it for our "friendship "

[@missede96]

Ooo I just had to drop a friend for being immature and boy crazy. This woman is 23, skinny, tall and beautiful but doesn’t know her worth. She bases her personality off of social media and is obsessed with herself. I’m not shit but I have men that do whatever I want which I didn’t know made her very mad and jealous. I would constantly have to reassure her that she’s pretty, attractive, etc and it just got annoying, I am not your boyfriend you need to grow up. When I blocked this girl she completely went off on me calling me every name in the book. Mind you, I have never said or done anything bad to this girl in my life. Having insecure friends is DANGEROUS especially if they’re single.

[@marzemarcel9529]

I feel like my misery is special or their misery is sprinkled with some narc tendencies. When I am miserable, feeling my worst, I want nothing more than to be away from people. Away from judgemental eyes, away from the world. Maybe I'm just depressed and self aware? Who knows, but you're selfish if you try to force someone to live in the same space as your abuser.

[@Blacklilithexotical]

I agree. It is selfish to especially go to an "empath" for them to feel your pain and continuously put them through what you are actively feeling.

[@narlywaves2371]

​@@Blacklilithexoticalyikes. So people aren't supposed to reach out. 🤦 What's the point of friendship then. Empath? Sounds like that person isn't an empath at all. Even during my worst depression I had time to listen to others. We're losing our compassion and it's sad.

[@narlywaves2371]

But, everyone isn't like you. Alot of people can't just isolate they need to talk someone. And this is coming from someone whose been through hell...and I still had time to help others. Some of y'all just schitty people.

[@marzemarcel9529]

@@narlywaves2371 Yeah, and this is coming from someone who dedicate parts of my life to helping people when I had nothing to give. While I was still struggling and receiving nothing back. At a certain point, I matured and realized people don't care and will take what they can get from you and chose to be a person who doesn't drag people down into my misery. There's a difference between needing support, at no point did I claim that, and being a negative source of energy that eventually is harmful to those around you, not just yourself.

[@soulsearchingwithstina]

When I started doing astrology/tarot readings & spellwork professionally, my sense of self-worth skyrocketed. Because I was giving value to others & I helped them. That's my role here. The Universe removed absolutely all of my "friends" this year like the ones mentioned in the video because they themselves didn't feel worthy nor did they offer any value to others. Everything was a constant soap opera. Great video as always, I've been watching your content for a while. I feel like I can BREATHE here in the comment section. I wish you all an abundant 2024.💞

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Thank you and same to you ❤

[@AAA-ec4vf]

Stop complaining and stopppppp entertaining these friends very simple!

[@OpinionatedBlues]

Nah, it needs to be talked about. Many people feel guilt or shame around ending friendships for a lot of reasons and should know they weren’t tripping and they aren’t alone in these experiences.

[@yougotgamesonyourphone6947]

No it definitely needs to be talked about because these women are called terrible friends for not wanting to keep putting up with someone’s trauma and low self esteem behavior.

[@peachesandpoets]

So mentally draining. And also such people can be covert narcs and take you through hell

[@Priscilla_Boye]

I agree 💯

[@innocentnemesis3519]

You know what though? The thing is, I was the friend who had low self worth because I’ve only now realized I was verbally abused growing up with emotionally immature parents, and didn’t have my autism diagnosis yet. It was actually my “therapist friend” who was the covert narcissist, which I realized when she burned many bridges - including ours - after her friends realized she was controlling and gaslighting them after pretending to lend a “sensitive” listening ear. Really, she was just judging the shit out of us and waiting for a vulnerable moment to use everything we told her against us. Just saying!

[@Liz-wz8dh]

So true. And it's not even like the men don't know they are treating these women like crap. They're just taking advantage.

[@CoddelSobers]

Yup My precise experience Up to this day the girl hate my guts for simply speaking my truth, growing and having standards.

[@HandofHolmes]

Facts as a recovering pick me, I don’t fault anyone for walking away out of my life. I didn’t take the advice and show up for them in ways I showed up for shitty partners. I just wish they said so instead of sneaking away or blocking me, but hey life is too short to waste time. Ya’ll do owe me shit and I don’t owe you anything either. That ain’t lost on me.

[@adrianwillis66]

Guuurrrl so many friends even educated ones I stopped listening.

[@KheperMAAT]

Can you do a video on men that trauma dump

[@fitp74]

I’ve learned how to keep quiet about peoples relationships…. I’m older now, and I just can’t handle certain dynamics. One thing about me, I cut men off and move to the next. I have someone who uses me for their relationship issues, and doesn’t care about me but wants to talk about her man issues. And then will continue to deal with him.

[@dearyvettetn4489]

I had a co-worker and friend like this years ago and shedding her as a friend was hurtful but I was glad she and her crybaby BS was out of my life. Whats worst is that I was the married-with-kids friend and she was single. I had the life that she was trying to achieve, but I had to listen to her constantly complain about the men where we lived and how trash they were. She grew up in a different city and alway spoke very highly of it and her status there and I cannot tell you how many times I advised her to move back home to see if she could find someone that was suitable for her. Eventually I got tired of the nonsense and started making myself less available to her. She eventually got the message. She called me a bad friend. She told lies about her contributions to our relationship and eventually I didn’t see her anymore. That part hurt, but I was glad to be done with her. I hope she figured things out and got the kind of life she felt she deserved and I hope she sees this video and a whole lot of herself in it

[@chelscara]

Ugh my mom has a friend like that. "Everything is better in Mexico City, I have more friends the food is better people act more like me I met cool guys" alright, well your life here is shit so maybe work towards that? Or are you lying about how good that is too because you know no one can be around you for more than an hour no matter where you are?

[@AlluminaOnyxia]

I feel bad for the "friend". She struggled to find a good friend and a good man. Hope she learned from that not to keep looking to people with no sympathy to care about her.

[@OnewBiased]

Similar but not romantic relationship related, one of my friend was like this but about her work. She's smart and competent in her field but she's a doormat due to past trauma. She kept gotten to toxic workplaces where her bosses squeeze her dry and her subordinates were lazy fuckers. Our friend group kept encouraging her to stand up for herself and set proper boundaries whenever she complains about her colleagues. She basically regurgitates the same toxic situation but with different cast and slightly altered scenario for years. Around the pandemic we've been basically grey rocking her since there's nothing new to advise because she won't try anything. Everyone's tired. Idk what truly prompted her to see a therapist but her outlook improves so much and it helps mending our friendship to a healthy one again. She apologized to us and said that she should've follow our advice (like, duh) Can't imagine if it's about romantic relationship, everyone's probably go lc because it will be way more exhausting

[@chelscara]

Had a friend go through a hard time, she lost a lot of weight not by choice so when I say hard i mean struggling. Of course, we tried to do an upside look like "hey, you always said weight was what kept you down, let's try and get you out and about". Nope, my fat ass still has such better days, with my loving partner and great friends. She's chasing a man in a relationship because he said "they could probably be a throuple" despite it still being a secret and she thinks "he's too good for the gf anyway". she stays at their home so they can drive to work together, she's eaten that womans food, and I am just gobsmacked. I said "so you're cheating, you're the other woman?" and she laughed like yeah right now but ya know. And it's just no, no i dont know, we're almost 30 please get help.

[@Goddess462]

Lol some of us haven’t went through those reckless teen years 🤣. I actually don’t believe teens should be going through toxic relationships. They should be focused on school. So many kids 12 years old already sexually actively. Now that I’m 23( it is not a big age for me) I have yet to peak babes. Lol sorry I’m responding to 2:40

[@danaivey5532]

I wish you were an audio book reader cause I honestly love to listen to ur voice.its so pretty!!

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Wow, thank you! You are very kind

[@vrichards4363]

Ladies we have to learn to choose ourselves. That simple.

[@traceylennon1204]

The lightskinned girl and the one with the pink headband for me!! And YOU of course!!

[@jams1070]

This! Exactly this! I’m working HARD on myself, I’ve been working soooo much over the years to fix my self esteem and understand my self worth and value. I just turned 23 and I’ve been really practicing this since 21-22. Im an empath so i absorb all that negativity they put off. Im not a therapist, yet they always trauma dump on me. I can’t keep wanting better for y’all lol. So i have to withdraw myself to protect myself and my peace. One of us cares about ourselves…and it ain’t you

[@gogogetter]

I recently had to end a 8 year friendship because of this very reason! Having a friend who is constantly trauma dumping complaining about their situations become sooo exhausting!

[@obSYDIann_]

If you tell them he’s a bum and you need to do better they think you’re jealous of them 😭😭 Better to let them figure that ish out themselves. When a woman has had enough she’ll move on.

[@obSYDIann_]

I had a friend who constantly made excuses for the dudes who would treat me less than, which I ended up internalizing and having these dudes stay around way longer than they were supposed to. And she was the type that always mentioned “I need a man” it got so frustrating like there’s so much we can be doing in the world and your only concern is finding a man 😒

[@happygolightly]

I had a friend like this. She was a miserable person crying every day. I couldn't do it anymore. This went on for years. Years. I had to tell her she needed therapy and I was not equipped for that. She got so mad at me. I felt awful but My mental health matters too bestie.

[@lovelyscorp79]

I have a strict no trauma dumping policy.

[@Emilyb21-dm3bf]

Yes they go back to be abused then come back over and over . If you cant respect them dont be their friend. Im shocked at the degrading things some do over snd over.

[@rizen9457]

So happy you posted this

[@raynebow5289]

Phew, I needed this.

[@elaineanderson2989]

Interestingly some people who have developmental delays in the brain as it forms have chronic low self-esteem and worth. Some are aware of it and work hard at improving themselves. I take my hat of to those who suffer daily with this affliction and KNOW their worth but struggle at times.

[@niharikasaxena6926]

This is the reason I’ve unfriended many girl friends they’ve simply been energy vampires and this gon be the reason i’ll cut any of others if they try repeated non sense like that like tf

[@carmelcutie1991]

I know this has nothing to do with the video but I just love when Jamaican or carribean women that don't have accents get mad and it comes out. It's cute

[@Mia00889]

I can’t have low confidence people around me……. I can’t

[@rn2787]

I am not a therapist. I don't know what I am doing 1/2 the time. I am divorced and I never want a relationship again. I have issues with dating too. The difference between me and the girl that has 24/7 drama is I tell my therapist, not my friends. I also love myself because I have worked hard on myself. My advice for these women is to work on loving yourself because you are the only person you have for sure. Not that it matters, but a self-confident woman who loves herself attracts better men.

[@HiNinqi]

I've come to learn that most people say "self love and knowing your worth" to mean something very different than what I understand that to mean... Now I have to hunt down when the divergence in my understanding and the current usage shifted in our shared language lexicon. Like I really wonder if it's a generational change or straight regional etc

[@ErezElene]

THIS IS SO TRUE. Sadly I just realized this about one of my college friends. She literally got angry with me because I said that marital r@pe exists, because she thinks that "when you make the marriage vow, you are forever giving your consent." It's so hurtful to realize that your friend is no longer herself..

[@narlywaves2371]

I grew up thinking this as a kid. Imagine how much we're programmed to think that as a kid. By the time I was 20 I realized this was backwards thinking.... after watching several made for TV movies, based on a true story. Thank goodness for those movies about white women in disturbing marriages.

[@baisinbu98]

6:28 I find it funny that this lady is advising talking to your friends, family and therapist to work through your insecurities but the previous ladies were eschewing those who try to talk to them about their insecurities. I find that the world is very intolerant and lacking sympathy because we all do not come from the same backgrounds or similar upbringings. Our life experiences mark us all differently. I only hope the ladies who don’t want their friends talking to them about their relationship issues NEVER get hit with a situation that capsizes them and sends them looking for a lifeline. Of course, everything within reason. Some people will go through much not through any fault of theirs but life really happens to some people. Sometimes those meant to protect you are the one who further victimize you and render you more vulnerable. Take the case of Megan Odoch assault situation where her friend goes to defend her from a man who was harassing her but got beaten to a pulp while Megan stood there with her other friends and watched it happen without even calling the Police to come save their ‘friend’. The first two women here sound like they could leave their friend for death and save themselves in the name of not dealing with someone else’s shit. That was the justification Megan used too. I would not want to be friends with women like that.

[@janeljohnson5833]

I’ve always known my worth…that said, have not always been able to identify virtue signalers and garbage people, and that has hurt me profoundly.

[@freethinkingMILF]

Oh gosh, I am 48 and I my bff of 22 years is this woman. Even worse, she is the preference.

[@Emilyb21-dm3bf]

Be an equal not a mother to them

[@sadiemakesmesmile]

As someone who was in a long term stable relationship for 7 years, but left to ‘find myself’ due to childhood trauma… yes I wanted to have short term hook ups and get to know that side of things as I never got a chance in high school. I was taking care of my family as a teenager. That woman is so entitled to say finding your worth only happens as teenager. What if you didn’t have a chance to do that because your parents moved you constantly and you were the parent?. Just because I was in those situations didn’t mean I wanted my friends to ‘protect me’ or give me advice that the man I was with is not marriage material, yet they would PUSH their opinions on me unsolicited. I knew my worth and that’s what I wanted - to have unserious flings with people I was super attracted to but not the best partners. Because of trauma I still don’t want marriage. But friends left me anyway, because they assumed I was a person like the ones described in this video. I have my boundaries too, I don’t have close friends who are constantly complaining and stuck in a long term abusive situation because my friends know their worth. But to cut someone out because they don’t listen to your advice is another level. Just don’t give them advice… set your boundaries. No contact in that situation is extreme.

[@sadiemakesmesmile]

And to add, I had friends in uni and high school, my sister included. Who would talk to me about their issues with their guys, and I would give them advice for HOuRS and they never listened to me, and guess what. I didn’t take offence. That’s what a friendship is for. No one is obligated to follow your advice. But as a friend you do have an obligation to be there for your friend. I know it’s frustrating… but what will you do when your kids do it? Send them on the street?

[@sadiemakesmesmile]

Not to mention this is further blaming, shaming and isolating abused women…. & Not holding men to account.

[@delilaha]

He's a bum. You need to do better. 😂