Overprotective Parents (Helicopter Parents) | The Emotional Effects & Solution | Wu Wei Wisdom

Overprotective Parents (Helicopter Parents) - The Emotional Effects & Solution ~ Work one-to-one with David: www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies...
☯️ EPISODE # 12 of our ‘Life Lessons’ teaching series
In this series Taoist monk and therapist, David James Lees, and wellbeing coach, Alexandra Lees, answer questions about YOUR life challenges and offer inspirational guidance and support to help you live in BALANCE, HARMONY and FLOW.
✅ IN THIS EPISODE:
Discover our practical insights and advice on the emotional health problems associated with overprotective parents and parenting (‘helicopter parents’) and practical solutions if you are affected.
In this episode we answer the following questions:
~ What is overprotective parenting (‘helicopter parenting’) and why do parents do it?
~ What is the emotional impact of overprotective parenting on the child and how does it affect their adult life and relationships?
~ What are the solutions:
How can a parent find the authentic balance between being too controlling and too permissive?
How do you emotionally recover if you were overprotected or excessively controlled as a child? How can you use Inner Child Work as part of this healing process?
~~
We’ve also produced a full-length Wu Wei Wisdom MP3 TEACHING ALBUM about the Inner Child: ‘ONENESS ~ LOVING & HEALING THE INNER CHILD’ (album 4) ~ Learn more here: www.wuweiwisdom.com/shop/ 🎧
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[@WuWeiWisdom]

Did you enjoy this video ❓ Post your comments, questions & suggestions for future videos below - we’d LOVE to hear from you! ☯️ Want to work one-to-one with David? >> www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies-for-body-mind/ ✅ OTHER INNER CHILD VIDEOS YOU MAY ENJOY • Letting Go of the Past: Childhood Trauma & Living In the Now ➜ kzbin.info/www/bejne/m6DMi5iuZ6hsias • How to Let Go of Old Hurt, Abuse, Injustice & Unfairness ➜ kzbin.info/www/bejne/pGbSe4eraZ2UhJI • The Inner Child Explained: How to Love, Guide + Heal Your Inner Child ➜ kzbin.info/www/bejne/eH6TnaCcd9F4aKc • Inner Child Healing for Love Addiction, Codependency & Codependent Relationships ➜ kzbin.info/www/bejne/gGLSnYaQZtyssJI • Reparenting the Inner Child - PART 1 ➜ kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZ_HiKeYobuZaLc PART 2 ➜ kzbin.info/www/bejne/eIq4qXSHjtWmgck • Find Real Love: Inner Child, Mindset & Relationship Advice ➜ kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5CVc3-Hp9KVY6s We’ve also produced a full-length Wu Wei Wisdom MP3 TEACHING ALBUM about the Inner Child: ‘ONENESS ~ LOVING & HEALING THE INNER CHILD’ (album 4). Learn more here: www.wuweiwisdom.com/shop/ 🎧

[@Kiseochan]

For me my overprotective parents were less about them sorting out anything for me and more about not being allowed to do anything. Actually it was almost worse because sometimes I was and I never knew what the answer was going to be. There was also a lot of feeling like I couldn't ask for anything while also being told "be more assertive" You're 16 you need to get a driver's license! Show initiative and ask us when you want to practice. Also the answer is always no. You need to get a job but we're not going to teach you how to do anything, also we hate driving you anywhere and no way are you riding public transportation because that's too dangerous!

[@clionaj3517]

Hey! I found this comment relatable and was wondering if you've had success with wu wei or anything?

[@ivana0zec]

As a child of abusive parents, I became an overly protected parent. When I discussed this with my therapist, she said "but you don't see your child" (the same my parents didn't see me). I didn't see what my son really needed for a healthy development, I only saw him through the lenses of my abusive childhood. This is such an important and overlooked topic. Thank you!

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Thanks for your comments and views Ivana, I'm pleased that you found the video helpful I agree this is an important subject. Why don't you consider joining our free Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/ Thank you for taking the time and trouble for watching and commenting on our videos we appreciate your support. David

[@noneofyourbuizness]

How can you not have so much respect for mothers like you . ❤ I hope you healed

[@hildaobrien2142]

The reason I doubt myself being awesome, Is I have believed other people's lies about me

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hilda, now you can choose to believe YOUR truth - not other people's opinions about you! You are awesome :) You may also find this video helpful on this subject: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j3fIanmEmN18Z7s If you have questions on any of our teachings please let us know or if there's a topic or issue you'd like us to cover in future videos do tell us as this helps us plan our future videos. If you enjoy our video teachings please feel free to subscribe to our KZbin Channel (we add new videos every Sunday!) ➜ kzbin.info (click the 'notification bell’ when you subscribe and you’ll also get an email notification every time we add a new video). We also run a free Facebook Group where we share daily Wu Wei Wisdom, answer supporter questions and broadcast live Q&A and video teachings - you would be welcome to join the group ➜ facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/ Alex + David x

[@moniquezmuda3924]

I can relate to being overprotected by my parents, I have cerebral palsy. I can understand why they were. However by them being overprotective didn't teach me about life. I had to figure it out on my own when I was 33 years old. Now I'm divorced and back in a nursing home. Parents need to. Teach their abled bodied and their disabled children the same life lessons because the harsh reality is that they will pass away before their children will.

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi Monique, Thank you for you very helpful comments I enjoyed reading them. I agree with you and found your abled and disabled aspect very helpful. Thank you for taking the time and trouble for watching and commenting on our videos we appreciate your support. David

[@danielleschoenlau7861]

Yeah and they act like you should need their help forever. What do they think will happen when they die?

[@lll3388]

I think this video was made for parents towards kids but I’m 22 and I’m relating to it. Its tough. Ugh

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi Vivienne The video is targeted at adults who have been overprotected in their childhood. We're glad it has helped you. If you have questions on any of our teachings please let us know or if there's a topic or issue you'd like us to cover in future videos do tell us as this helps us plan our future videos. If you enjoy our video teachings please feel free to subscribe to our KZbin Channel (we add new videos every Sunday!) ➜ kzbin.info (click the 'notification bell’ when you subscribe and you’ll also get an email notification every time we add a new video). We also run a free Facebook Group where we share daily Wu Wei Wisdom, answer supporter questions and broadcast live Q&A and video teachings - you would be welcome to join the group ➜ facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/ Alex + David x

[@battfamily435]

My spouse is a product of this style of parenting and I can tell you this is abuse. Many of these parents are narcissistic. His parents made all his choices and what they couldn't solve they through money at it. Micromanaged every area of his life. Marriage included. They use "love" and money to manipulate him his entire life and have damaged him on so many levels. It robs the child of their instincts, autonomy, and very unique identity and sense of self. It is so damaging. These kids get "stuck" in adolescence and never learn the necessary life skills of problem solving. Not to mention damage the bond between child/parent. They know they don't posses what those who were taught to swim, do. And it's devastating on their self esteem and ability to be successful. These are the worst parenting. I recognized how sick (and clueless) the parents were a d made sure to set clear boundaries between me, my child, and them. They will not damage my child and I don't give a damn if there approve or not. Strong boundaries with people like this.

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. We are delighted that our videos are helping with your spiritual journey and emotional education. As you will appreciate, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on personal issues without full knowledge, history and background. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

[@cadypayne953]

I wish I would have realized this when I was younger. Me and my mother had a horrible relationship when I first became an adult on my own, but thankfully now we have repaired things once I grew older.. I know that my extremely protective upbringing isn’t entirely her fault because her childhood was a lot more difficult and her parents were less caring than mine..

[@Ace-xn2og]

My dad says no to EVERYTHING sleepovers? No Social media? No Staying up past 10? No It makes me mad and we fight a lot because I want to feel normal like I fit in 😡

[@gracec4513]

I can relate. I grew up never being able to watch/listen/play with anything that was “popular” bc to them that meant that it was bad so now i feel like I never had a childhood and I see everyone talking about the stuff I was never able to do and it really has affected me

[@magahvera]

Now 3 years later can you tell us if your dad was right?

[@scarlettsunz2099]

My mother thought she was the perfect parent. However her oldest (me) started having sex at 13. To me that says more about my parenting than it does about the state of my morals. Looking back at age 44, that seems like a huge cry for help. However I grew up feeling like I was irredeemable, that I was a bad person, a "troubled teen". The main theme of my entire life is that I am a damaged person, who was an absolute tyrant as a teen.....for putting my sainted martyr mother thru hell. She accepts no blame at all. However I feel that if MY daughter was having sex at 13, I would totally feel responsible as a parent. Like, you failed somewhere if your daughter is going to that extreme to find love and acceptance

[@gabriellaburkhart3167]

I think we have to think about the myth that childhood is sweet. It is'nt. Fights with siblings, school friends, school gradings, being cool/not cool - hard stuff. Kids need support, not protection. My duty as a mother ist to prepare my kids for a future I don't know. They need strategies to cope with situations, I do not know. My kids are not my friends - there are my children - I have to give the best tools for there life - and that lies in their personality. And the recepie - like in the video: is talk, but also listen, listen listen and talk - specially in puberty, when the kids tear you apart: Listen, talk.... and accept.

[@marionwest3661]

Spot on. Pull strings and I’ll wink at you, I am your puppet. The ingredients, an overprotective mother, an alcoholic father, and a shy child. The mother invests all her energy in the child, doing everything for her, even answering for her when she is asked questions. It all adds up to the child relying entirely on her caregiver, and eventually morphing into a timid and anxious adult. The controlling can go on until the parent dies, and the dutiful daughter has to toe the line or else she will pay the consequences by having former support withdrawn, and the inheritance too. Hell hath no fury like scorned mother.

[@MoulyBhatt]

Wow! The portion around 10:00 mins into the video, is so relatable! The carrot and the stick analogy! The love is taken away and one blames him or herself. This is spot on!

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@jasonbrown7258]

Being raised by a helicopter mom really made me learn how to lie and manipulate just so i could live a somewhat normal teen life. Since I never got to be a normal teenager at 50 years old im still a partyer an i find myself hanging out with the younger crowd. My ex wife was 15 years younger. We divorced because she wanted kids but i didn't. I'm 50 but I still feel like a teenager inside.

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi Jason, Thank you for sharing your experience. It's understandable that your past has influenced your present behaviors and feelings. Seeking acceptance and belonging can sometimes lead us to choices that might not align with our true selves. Embracing your Shen spirit and seeking inner peace might help you find fulfillment beyond the patterns of your past. Consider exploring mindfulness practices to connect with your true essence. Remember, it's never too late to make changes that bring harmony and balance to your life. facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/ Kind Regards, David

[@benparkhurst649]

I am having trouble with my current girlfriend that baby's her child. Almost to the point that I feel I should get ahold of child protective services. She forces her daughter to cry in different variations. If by bringing up bad memories or bad situations that have not yet to come (not in a disciplinary setting). If something bad happens to her daughter in any kind of negative fashion, the daughter will then cry. Later on down the road, the mother will then bring up those memories just so her daughter will cry and she can then make her daughter feel better by showering her with love and affection. I've tried to talk to her about this and the dangers of the mental state she is putting her daughter through. But, she feels its the best way to bring up her child.

[@sharpasarazr]

Thanks for addressing parenting although it is quite scary to hear because there is also the influence of how our parents brought us up, and at the same time trying not to turn into them. Very good advice and tools as always.

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi.... thanks for watching and commenting on our video - we're glad you found it thought provoking!

[@MoulyBhatt]

You guys are amazing. Thanks for breaking this down in such great detail. Subscribed!

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Awesome, thank you! Kind regards, David.

[@MaxiRyu99]

Eye opening video reflecting on my Helicopter parents. In Asian culture it’s most common trait…. Unfortunately

[@Moellish]

Thank you Alex and David for teaching these great ways to go about life. I have made good Progress in dealing with my feelings lately and i'm absolutly convinced that repareting is a wonderfull thing we can do to ourselfes. Thank you!

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi Leif ... thanks for your kind feedback. it's great to hear that you are making such good progress. You are worth it! x

[@Moellish]

Have you got a tip how to get an idea of who is talking, the inner child or the higher self and how to balance these two parts out? Is it the way to live in the moment until a feeling is created, than finding the thoughts which led to them and addressing them in a loving way? Thank you again!

[@tmoak]

Hoping to see MORE videos on raising children from this view!!!

[@nyambatikwamboka7065]

This was for me!

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi Nyambati, Thanks for taking the time to watch and comment! If you have questions on any of our teachings please let us know or if there's a topic or issue you'd like us to cover in future videos do tell us as this helps us plan our future videos. If you enjoy our video teachings please feel free to subscribe to our KZbin Channel (we add new videos every Sunday!) ➜ kzbin.info (click the 'notification bell’ when you subscribe and you’ll also get an email notification every time we add a new video). We also run a free Facebook Group where we share daily Wu Wei Wisdom and answer supporter questions - you would be welcome to join the group ➜ facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/ Alex & David x

[@Malitubee]

Honestly same

[@CosmicHealingGoddess]

You are both awesome! 🙌🏻

[@WuWeiWisdom]

You too!!

[@darkstrifequeen1458]

What if you’re autistic with adhd and you’ve been raised by overprotective parents? That’s three times as painful, especially when you’re an adult on the spectrum.

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi @darkstrifequeen1458, Navigating life with autism and ADHD, especially after being raised by overprotective parents, can indeed be challenging. It's important to be kind to yourself and recognise the unique strengths you possess. Establishing routines and creating a supportive environment can help manage the complexities you face. Seeking professional guidance tailored to your needs can also be beneficial. Remember, you're not alone in this journey. Our community is here to offer support and understanding: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/ Kind Regards, David

[@victoriaburgess700]

Great channel! The only thing I disagree with is parents telling children when to go to bed…especially to have enough sleep to go to school and use a restful brain. If my mom (a strong single parent) didn’t tell me when to go to bed, I would not have gotten enough sleep to function well in school. There’s scientific research on this. Sometimes it’s sound guidance and not control. Good day to you both!

[@darnagutter9645]

What about a mom who intervenes to end her 31 year old son's relationships? Is this some kind of emotional incest?

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Thanks for your question, as you will appreciate, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on personal issues without full knowledge, history and background. Therefore, I can only comment in general terms. It certainly sounds like a family emotional imbalance. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.

[@rosemarieyee6006]

I love you bout so much.you are so deep.Jesus bless your heart so much with good fruit to share to others.you. are a tree of life .you bout shining with great wisdom love and Happines

[@sharonmaris8049]

My mum over protected even I am a aldut how do I deal with my. Life. Far looking after my self. And see n my mum and partner

[@noneofyourbuizness]

Distance

[@adrogozonepellensegei586]

3:15 its about control not love.

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Kind regards, David.

[@daisiesandpandas1218]

Not always the case, however the result is still the same - control. You can accept that they're doing it out of love and it's still control.

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

You try and tell a four year old" we ll discuss it later" from what i v read and seen working is you deal with the child s needs first and then the child feeling satisfied will leave you in peace to do what you have to do. Trying to overcontrol things is recipe for disaster. Child learns to wait as theygrow up and they r more able to wait likein the year of 7 and older

[@jasonbrown7258]

Could a helicopter mom be the same as codependent to the kids?

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hi Jason, Yes, a helicopter mom can often exhibit codependent behaviors, becoming overly involved in her children's lives and needs. This can create challenges for both the parent and the child, as it may hinder the development of independence and self-reliance. Understanding these dynamics is a step towards resolving these issues. Reflecting on this can help you move towards a more balanced and fulfilling relationship with yourself and others. Kind Regards, David

[@marciahammond9735]

Can this overprotectivness cause the child 5o become a narcissist in their adulthood?

[@runwiththewind3281]

Thank you for helping me understand me a

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Thank you - we're glad you enjoyed the video!

[@pauletteohalloran483]

Im a parent of a 5 year old & she feels emotions very intensely. But she does not know how to regulate them or express them.ive tried naming the emotions eg anger but she gets annoyed & says im not angry.i say emotions come from inside of us. She cannot understand this. I read a book recently with her about emotions & she says she doesnt like this particular book. What do i do next ?

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. As you will appreciate, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on personal issues without full knowledge, history and background. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. There may be other parents with similar issues can share their experiences. Kind regards, David.

[@roadkillavenger1325]

I'm thankful that my overprotective parents didn't have a British accent.

[@WuWeiWisdom]

Me too! Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Kind regards, David.

[@kathylunau5210]

How about an fifty year old man who became a quad. And his mom won't let him have girlfriends over.