XFM The Ricky Gervais Show Series 2 Episode 22 - Colon then, educate me

The Ricky Gervais Show Broadcast 18th January 2003.
SHOW ARCHIVE INFO
Full track listing added below. Subtitles have now been added for the entire show. Pilkipedia archive added as well as links to all series.
ORIGINAL TRACKLIST
The Flaming Lips: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Mock Turtles: Can You Dig It remixed by Fat Boy Slim
Suede: Animal Nitrate
Oasis: Song Bird
Feeder: Just the Way I'm Feelin'
Bob Dylan: Positively 4th Street
Bruce Springsteen: Lonesome Day
Supergrass: Seen the Light
David Bowie: Lady Stardust
Doves: Caught by the River
Syntax: Pray
The Cure: Lovesong
Song For The Ladies - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: He Wants You
FURTHER READING
Brilliant info about this show including extra trivia about the material in the shows, please support this website: www.pilkipedia.co.uk/wiki/inde...
THANKS!
Thanks for all your support, it's a privilege to be able to document these shows for other like-minded people to enjoy.
ALL THE SERIES...
SERIES 1
• All Of Series 1 The Ri...
SERIES 2
• All Of Series 2 The Ri...
SERIES 3
• All Of Series 3 The Ri...
SERIES 4
• All Of Series 4 The Ri...
RARITIES, SPECIALS & COMPILATIONS
• Rarities, Specials & C...

[@ManMoth]

Hey guys, sorry for pinning this comment on all videos but I want to give you an update on the channel. I've been slowly adding a show archive to the videos including a full transcript added as sub titles and a full track listing (with links to KZbin videos for each track). Pilkipedia archive link has been added as well and I've been having fun illustrating some of KP's best bits, I'm adding these to a shop incase anyone is interested: www.man-moth.com/ It's taking me a while to update the archives, especially as I don't work Mondays so please bear with me as I chip away at it. Lots of love, Man Moth.

[@Glozboy22]

Ricky's reaction to the pork chop story is amazing. Genuine bewilderment transforming into irritation, then full on rage.

[@jasoneaton4520]

38:45 "play a record"..... - l couldnt believe it "Stop the record" 😂😂😂

[@tmsplltrs]

I fell asleep to the podcast then woke up hearing Ricky say "THIS WOMAN had a pork chop stuck to her ass for 5 years?! YOU MENTAL CASE". God I love this show.

[@Christoff070]

Passive aggressive is his reaction to almost everything though lol, he's always hungover eats too much cheese and doesn't drink water lolol

[@AA-hg5fk]

I think this is the one and only time they stop the record!

[@Pillysrule]

I was listening to this on massive road-trip in 2014 and had to pull the car over I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to crash the car. What a radio show.

[@travisclayton9448]

for 10 years I have listened to these to go to sleep

[@2scottr32]

Me too.... I thought I was the only one! But as it turns out there's loads of us....

[@JamieShawn]

Travis Clayton holy moly! That's me! Why do you think it works?

[@travisclayton9448]

tim t​ haha i went through a rough break up and it helped me take my mind off things. There's something about these conversations that just work! Its perfect way to take away the stresses of the day and help you unwind and eventually drop off. I actually feel like I NEED to listen to sleep now haha

[@carlabarrera8850]

+Travis Clayton, I couldn't have said it better myself! These guys have kept me from becoming a burden to society (:

[@Ellb743]

Hahaha me too!

[@alandodd3184]

mad world though innit. listened to these on loop for about 6 years. anyone else do that?

[@automaticmidnight4393]

2 years for me, mate.

[@indecentproposal9473]

4 here

[@bagamnan9170]

indecent proposal where's the one where karl talks about a porkchop that's stuck to a woman's butt for five years

[@alandodd3184]

it's about episode 30 in this series

[@bagamnan9170]

Alan Dodd found it

[@Scallion_D]

"Make him go away Steve." 😂

[@jd9171]

"you're gonna love this one steve....."

[@williamsmith666]

Oh, chimpanzee that...

[@benrobinson9473]

I love the way he says that

[@ufoash440]

Haha I love when Karl turns to address something to Steve. It's normally either an insult or something to do with saving money lol

[@capnhawkins]

33:53 When Karl said "Ages ago..." I was expecting them to say "17th century?"

[@BoxerBoyPilky01]

They might not have said it but I sure did. Thought the same thing.

[@ejayman]

I literally said “17th century?” in my head with that bit

[@carrotismyhero]

This is hands-down the single best episode of the lot: the birth of Monkey News, the Jamaican accent rock buster, getting the clue wrong, the pork chop story. Incredible

[@conorkennedy3304]

Congress Tarts

[@studkickass513]

It only turned out it was a pork chop that she'd sat on 5 years earlier and it'd stuck to her bottom. That sentence, in the accent of an exasperated Mancunion, is one of the funniest things that humanity has ever had

[@zackevans-mcivor7850]

"If Suzanne said to me do you love me, I'd say yeh you're alright" 😂😂😂 fucking brilliant

[@studkickass513]

Who's listening to these again, this time during the COVID-19 quarantine?

[@teebs2724]

3rd way to through in lockdown, don't know how many overall. Have been working in a very quiet office with them on every day in my ear, the few who are here always a bit puzzled when I burst out laughing.

[@chrisnam1603]

☻

[@Sightation]

I did 3 or 4 rounds years back & when I knew it all by heart felt empty & bereft. Now I’m back and have forgotten just enough to absolutely love it all over again. I find it beneficial to my mental health in this mad and depressing world. These Three are to comedy what the the Fab Four were to music.

[@HaydnG266]

@De Profundis same, but they are extra special during the China Virus

[@sladey31]

I’ve been listening most nights for the last 17 years. Wether it’s XFM or the numerous podcasts and audio books. Ricky Gervais deadly sirius. One way or another I’m. Listening to one of his shows 🤩

[@JakeJakeP]

I love that Karl fades Ricky and Steve down whilst he's talking about rockbusters 21:00

[@sugminstoradase]

Who still litsening in 2020? Every day honestly!

[@RationalAxis]

2021 checking in

[@lesleyb13]

Listen every night going to bed.

[@Falcon24588]

11:16 "they get on really better." I can't believe that went unnoticed by them

[@studkickass513]

I have always laughed at that. So strange.

[@user-sk5qo7qm2u]

Every episode they were getting more an more desensitised to his none sense

[@gofigure1171]

2017. Still here. Still listening. When washing up. In shower. Walking about. Whenever.

[@josephblackhall]

Sam Harris Still here?

[@carolinac2836]

Even still

[@hansno1475]

2019. Still here. Still listening.

[@Steezy93]

Still

[@SunnyDays00]

@@josephblackhall still here...

[@porkbeast3000]

Karl spouts absolute bollocks, insect expert woman disproves it with well articulated scientific fact, Karl "...yehhhhh but..." absolutely classic Dilkington

[@arun279]

She’s the perfect foil for Karl

[@oliverheinzmann9553]

the picture of the perfect dr. who fan that looks like steve which comes up around the 20 minute mark. imgur.com/Qc3BD6e you're welcome

[@EstebanPau]

Anything these guys produce is so hilarous

[@oliverheinzmann9553]

Esteban Pau yeah dude, instead of listening to music at work I'll listen to these radio shows instead. Make tedious tasks an absolute pleasure haha

[@carlabarrera8850]

That's amazing! hahah Ricky wasn't exaggerating! xD thanks for uploading it.

[@matthewmenzies9946]

+Carla Barrera So glad this picture has been put up, its exactly as ricky said :)

[@fpGrumms]

+Oliver Heinzmann I do the same thing! Every single day these 3 are in my headphones while I work.

[@AllTheHurt]

"play a record" "I couldn't believe it" "stop the record, stop the record"

[@jakopars]

The way he says yeahhh but to the natural history museum lady 😭

[@Banter_Beard]

PG tips. Steve’s wit is so sharp

[@RossMoore777]

I just looked it up and Karl was right. For insects, a knee refers to any hinge joint in the leg. Cockroaches have 3 hinge joints on each leg, so they have 18 knees. Also, she's right that cockroaches breathe through spiracles in each of their body segments, but they still breathe, and certain species have been shown to hold their breath for up to 40 minutes. Mad world innit?

[@petergiffen100]

does anybody else watch these frequently but not in order so when they want to watch one they have to sit for ages to try and find one they hadnt heard recently

[@odw_99]

Yeah same

[@DeclanGough]

+petergiffen100 Every single night of my life mate hahaha

[@HoweyDamus]

Doing that right now

[@esme-joyliebert2130]

I like the ones I listen to, so next time I go to the video I know I've been there before or not

[@DDoig1]

That's madness. Just listen in order :)

[@KirkWilson86]

This is probably my 15th time through all the seasons. Can't get enough. I'm starting to quote them now. These episodes cure depression, for sure. Weird innit?

[@PHT07UK]

I’ll stop you there - why are you telling me? Ju-

[@RussianLizard94]

What do you mean it's weird, IT'S IN YOUR HEAD KARL

[@JakeWilliams283]

The cockroach expert lady sounds like a lovely Nan

[@DesertDweller21]

Jake Williams agreed. She has such a pleasant voice. She reminds me of some character in a movie. I can’t figure out who and it’s driving me nuts!

[@DesertDweller21]

Jake Williams actually I’ve just figured it out. Her voice sounds EXACTLY like the nanny from the show Dexter, cept the nanny is Irish whereas she’s british.

[@julienblower7452]

@Kristian Wilkins english people are british 🙄🙄🙄

[@BigPMitchell]

Steve berating callers and the general public is one of my favorite things ever.

[@justinkline8437]

"He had a big bup and he had a big boo."

[@jasoneaton4520]

Rick's laugh, at. 10:15... Is the funniest ever 😂😂😂

[@lilme7052]

its like the monkey is in the studio

[@tomjsly]

Congress tart? Karl's been kidnapped

[@matthewbowen517]

Oh look, John's got a moustache

[@davidmurphy2927]

Quality

[@jem8919]

25:58 is my favourite Karl moment ever

[@Scallion_D]

"He finishes the day off with a little brandy." Lol this line never gets old.

[@donk525]

2019 and this show is still the best thing to binge listen during any occasion. I do wish the three of them would reunite for another series of podcasts, but I guess it’s like lightening in a bottle.

[@TheMayDog]

This got me through Lockdown 2. I have not recovered, but these XFM shows were a great companion.

[@willrichards32]

@@TheMayDog hope you’re okay now!

[@TroyGawlak]

The 18-21 minute mark have got to be the most disorganized three minutes in radio history. 😂

[@pezushka]

It's genius man, just pure chaos

[@keirancox558]

i don't get why everyone seems to hate Steve, without him all these shows would be Ricky screaming and shouting and interrupting Karl!!

[@jasoneaton4520]

Steve's always sayin "that's what happened Rick, let him finish Rick! What are you talking about, it's the news ! It's the news Rick!"

[@jenanahulu]

I love Steve, they all compliment each other perfectly.

[@erica5624]

I think it’s because he was abit rude with the caller in this one

[@JD-Media]

Steve is the odd one out of the three, he feels like he's only there because of association with Ricky. The show has always been about Ricky and Karl.

[@kitpalmer1583]

James Dean strongly disagree. Steve is the most intentionally funny, Ricky is more just the annoying ringleader who met the right people

[@davet2825]

“Make him go away Steve!”

[@capnhawkins]

45:14 Karl sounds like a guilty child confessing to his parents when he says "it was, uh, it was on the Internet."

[@JRockSamurai]

18:25 Ricky trying to sing the Only Fools and Horses song reminds me of Vic Reeves doing that singing in a club style segment on Shooting Stars lol

[@CHRSS111]

Man alive, trouble's brewing lest we forget...

[@abbafan50986]

I hate to admit it but when I heard the tragic news about Darius, *this* was the first thing I thought of. RIP Darius.

[@frogzilla82]

same here, thought i'd listen out of respect, spare a thought for the happily married 42 year old woman

[@phil8528]

@@frogzilla82spare a thought for her husband more like it! He’s probably getting nowt now, poor bloke.

[@mattyk8455]

'mad world though innit'

[@cartmanofsp]

+Matthew Kedie Mad innit?

[@Eleventytwo2]

37:42 probably my favorite Pilkington story lol

[@omikronweapon]

XFM 2-22 0:00 The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1 2:49 The Mock Turtles - Can You Dig It? (Fatboy Slim & Simon Thornton Remix) 9:26 Suede - Animal Nitrate 14:24 Oasis - Songbird 14:33 Feeder - Just The Way I'm Feeling 21:17 Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street 21:28 Bruce Springsteen - Lonesome Day 28:07 ??? - ??? 28:15 Supergrass - Seen the Light 33:16 David Bowie - Lady Stardust 39:04 Doves - Caught By The River 39:11 Syntax - Pray 45:31 The Cure - Lovesong 48:25 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - He Wants You

[@omikronweapon]

as usual, if you know the missing song, please reply.

[@samking247]

It sounds like Special Cases by Massive Attack (or a remix thereof)

[@superMrstylo]

You are a saint

[@davet2825]

Your name is ironic at the moment

[@jiayojames]

Who else falls asleep to these?

[@DavidMcmenemy]

Too much quality content to fall asleep to. I do, however, watch/listen to these before I go to bed.

[@careywatkins6673]

Nearly every night!

[@blairforbes1132]

I try to but they’re too funny and I end up going to sleep after it finishes

[@daniele551]

The pork chop story is my favorite moment of the entire series.

[@WollongongWacko]

Nice to always have something that wont change and feels good to be around

[@RyanshirleyMUFC]

Shoutout to the MVP’s listening for the 10th or even 1st time. I’ve lost count listening to this insomnia cure

[@kaik8216]

I think all these views on the series is repeated views by about 100 people

[@JohnnyLeyenda]

"What's a congress tart?" "I love 'em-it's me favouri-I can't get 'em in London" I love that part

[@movielover530]

2019 & still listening

[@JasperOosterveld]

2020 still going strong 😬

[@fettster279]

Did they even give out the rock buster clues? Did I miss that part?

[@thepoobandit2850]

That “do we need em” is so good. He doesn’t even ask any questions about cockroaches place in the environment or anything

[@andymac2994]

You can hear Rickys rage when he says “dickhead” at 46:00 😂

[@phil8528]

“It’s better not to try, than try your hardest and be rubbish” 😂

[@BoxerBoyPilky01]

This one was a particular shambles. Brilliant!

[@cartmanofsp]

I can't believe this was on the air, to London and beyond. I don't think we'll ever see anything like this ever again sadly, just three people who gel and bounce off each other so well

[@kieranleehamilton]

Listening in 2024!

[@MrMongoose221]

These make everyday tasks and chores tolerable. Not to mention I'm asleep within 20 minutes when listening at night!

[@julienblower7452]

"just, uh... three.... clues...."

[@Dickie2shoes]

The title of this vid should have been "Colon then educate me."

[@ManMoth]

Dickie2shoes Consider it done :-)

[@maxsavage7679]

@Fruitsi ikr, a mystery of the universe

[@dealameal5242]

always relisten and forget how great all the episodes are

[@lachlanneal9375]

One of my favorite episodes, hard to pick a favorite though

[@Bevis97]

its nearly 2020 im still here

[@studkickass513]

No one else missing the original give out of the Rockbusters clues in this one?

[@rumbleshakes]

That song they're talking about is "One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple Eyed People Eater" but I don't know who it's by.

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

Sheb Wooley. x

[@indecentproposal9473]

Well that's the bit we're lookin for really..

[@YourFriendlyNeighbour]

Sheb Wooley - 1958

[@WollongongWacko]

"This isnt enough information"

[@HaydnG266]

"You haven't really helped"

[@akay0000]

I'm leaving, I'm never ... I'm never doing this show again ... you're talking a- ... I've never heard any- ... such bo- ... you are ... play a record, play a record.

[@bhyteme]

hours and hours of this show and ricky’s reaction to the pork chop story will always be my favourite moment

[@arun279]

The Do We Need Em segment in this is one of my favorite things in the series. 😂

[@thepontiacbandit7874]

I love her voice.

[@Attisyn49031]

Won't ever stop listening to these. Love you for uploading them all. Bless you.

[@Scallion_D]

The intro of Animal Nitrate is so good. ❤

[@RoyOnion]

Cockroach: 18 knees Warrick Davis: 0

[@johgus96jg]

That line from Karl at 26:00 makes me question Suzannes sanity

[@alandodd3184]

Karl didn't speak for the first fifteen minutes. love these....falling asleep as I type this

[@thepontiacbandit7874]

42:45 She sounds so defeated! 😂

[@justinkline8437]

DON'T DROP THE JELLY!

[@joshuasucec432]

"One eyed one horned flying purple people eater" by sheb wooley, is an song intended to educate the listener on a creature hunted to extinction after noah deemed them unimportant. They are said to have existed ages ago.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

But do we need em?

[@lilme7052]

@@AutomaticDuck300 this is what started its extinction

[@BigPMitchell]

​@@AutomaticDuck300 they eat purple people

[@AA-fn9xz]

I think what makes the XFM podcasts just so re-listenable is that, you tend to listen to them when you’re doing other things... I listen to them in work, at home when I’m cooking, cleaning etc. So you never pay 100% attention for the full hour. That means when you listen to them again, you’ll probably hear something you didn’t catch the first time.

[@cartmanofsp]

They are great background noise, but there's never any boring parts or bits where you think ''ahh i'll skip this.'' It's so amazing how they managed to keep it fresh both on the radio and on the podcasts for 10+ years.

[@chrishaynes1804]

@@cartmanofsp i agree but i have started to skip the cinema anecdote it started to bore me i think i have listend to these 10+ times which means i have heard the cinema anecdote 40 times at least

[@cartmanofsp]

@@chrishaynes1804 yeah I agree fellow Chris, certain stories are worth listening to

[@chrishaynes1804]

your comment caught my eye. thinking what a fantastic name that gentlemen has got 😆

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

“When ya go f’air cut.” x

[@benrobinson9473]

“Make him go away Steve”

[@jack220492]

2021 and still amazing.

[@e.a6851]

2019 & still listening...

[@ou7ofspace]

"I've stored it haven't I?"

[@luukeluketer1024]

I don't know man....but can a human take so much of bashing and tedious insults day in day out and not crack even once ???? I know it's a show and all but I think they should do a complete study of Karl's brain and find out what makes him so fucking tolerant and patient ...Could definitely help humanity.....

[@ManMoth]

Indeed, there is an example of that very exchange here... kzbin.info/www/bejne/jWrNZot4l9dnm80

[@samobviously1770]

It's called stupidity, Karl doesn't get as offended as most people would bcz 90% of the time he doesn't even realise he's being insulted lol

[@Nullllus]

luuke furtado He's just usually not bothered about anything.

[@jacswart6834]

Sam Obviously Watch Moaning of Life and reconsider whether he is stupid.

[@samobviously1770]

jac swart there's a difference between common sense and intelligence. Just bcz he wouldn't walk in front of a bus doesn't mean u should put his name forward for a diploma. Ur comment says more about u than it does about Karl

[@Lettucemon]

Ricky's excuse for having a shoddy radio show is hilarious 47:40

[@freddieparker2580]

The best thing about the condom gift is that Carl says Suzanne wants children... so really its just another way of Carl saying no

[@eviola11]

"Mad world, though, innit?"

[@nobodiesband]

when you go for 'aircut

[@dball_94]

“Yeah well, if we were sat in a fridge we’d probably go a bit quiet too”

[@robcoz98]

46:02 Dickhead! Never fails to make me crack up

[@bluebones1778]

same 😂 was looking for a comment about this

[@whatbrettdid]

I like that Karl wanted to teach Rick about how a lung worked, after Ricky tried to explain how a lung worked during the Anaconda-wholly-swallower story.

[@cleanbeans4280]

the thing about the microwave is true, the guys name is Percy Spencer, and he worked with radar in WWII

[@davet2825]

“Say something sexy like, I love to love you”. Steve is in a different world.

[@lilme7052]

17th century

[@chrissynen]

46:03 if anyone is looking for a quick link to Ricky’s “dickhead” 😂

[@studkickass513]

I bet you'd love a quick link to Ricky's dickhead. Ooooooh! I've done you!

[@darylchristie3809]

Still listening to these

[@PointOfViewUk]

"Trouble's brewing..."

[@lambey6113]

I like seeing in the comments in current videos of these guys people quoting from this show

[@callumgracey1867]

Still listening in 2020; replay the cycle every so often, since 2004! Still damn funny Edit: back again in 2021, surprised to find my own comment!

[@Ben-nh8dt]

2022 now :)

[@Adelehalsall]

The birth of monkey news ❤ an iconic episode.

[@studkickass513]

You're an iconic episode! How is that stroke going? Cum yet?

[@michaelflynn7688]

I think this is might be my favorite episode haha

[@DF59821]

Ricky: "Play a record .... no stop the record..." is my favourite bit

[@djchristoft1415]

would of liked to hear about Karl's mad dream..

[@jasoneaton4520]

There's so much material with Karl, they need to bring it back...it's the best...

[@keepgoing1973]

sometimes i wished you left the songs in, but i really appreciate all your hard work Mr. Man Moth

[@philipbourke3390]

I think the videos would be removed if the songs were left in.

[@SG-xc7of]

Pretty simply you can't leave the songs in, copyright infringement.