XFM The Ricky Gervais Show Series 3 Episode 3 - The best bum in W1

The Ricky Gervais Show Broadcast 15th November 2003.
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[@JD-mm3df]

"That's not cryptic, thaaaat's shhhhiiiiiiittttttt"

[@Milan_Smidt]

''you fffffffffff.....''

[@TheEpicFaliGamer]

Hahaha best part played it 5 times now still funny

[@MrElephantBeach]

Jamie Dietsch Is craptic a word?

[@Crunch_Buttsteak]

I busted up laughing at that

[@deltaframes-os4km]

umpty dumpty. sounds gospel in a Manc accent

[@celica825]

"Bobbity boo, who's that over there? It's Karly Pilkboys." 15 seconds in and I'm already dying.

[@fpGrumms]

celica825 Gotta be the best intro in the entire series.

[@celica825]

+celica825 Back here again, still laughing at this.

[@craigmcmillan7401]

biggy bagga doo

[@rogergilmour]

Love Merchant just enjoying it!

[@deltaframes-os4km]

I'm with ya. no one has ever done an intro like that. comedy gold

[@JakeWilliams283]

Love it when Steve exclaims "man alive"

[@_booth7992]

It’s so arbitrary

[@jacobrees-frogg8223]

@@_booth7992 it's ludicrous!

[@1035pm]

Lest we forget...

[@michaelkennedy8835]

I think it's extraordinary

[@LewisTheGrim]

Sure... Sure...

[@MegaSlanguage]

33:00 onwards - "that's not cryptic, that's shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit" - brilliant.

[@manolotejeda8209]

The Missy Elliot clue was really sweet and they didn't get it. It was because "Missy Elliot" to Karl sounds like "miss you, Elliot", so E.T.'s problem was that he misses Elliot :')

[@Crunch_Buttsteak]

@@manolotejeda8209 They did get it, it's just that Karl twists words to fit the "cryptic" clue & Ricky tries to hammer it into him not to do that.

[@deltaframes-os4km]

that's shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. love it

[@HearthMaiden]

xD LOL Steve.. "How is Jonathan Ross?.....alright?...." "OOOH RICKY DO THE LITTLE DANCE.. ehehehee.." xD He was so funny on this episode.

[@imnotgayyy8489]

This final explains why Steven merchant Jonathan Ross interviews are so tense!!

[@indecentproposal9473]

Ross stole his man

[@Christoff070]

I reckon he has a right to be jealous ; his best mate didn't even invite him to his bday

[@robbie5181]

@@Christoff070 yeah, my guess though is it was a couples thing, karl suzanne jonathan and his wife.

[@ejayman]

@robbie5181 well he could have left her at home, who is SHE??

[@Lamedvavnik]

I stick a series playlist of X fm before I go to sleep. Quite often I'm briefly awoken at 3/4 in the morning by one of Ricky's crazy squeaky laughs!!

[@deloford]

+Matt Russell After 8 years of doing this I can now hear them in my head all day :)

[@liamroberts1432]

I can't believe how perfectly this sums every one of my nights up

[@romeovarga6413]

+deloford Haha I swear this xfm will be future diagnosable condition. I listen to them while working, long freeway drives and home before bed. Crazy how good they are, over and over again.

[@lylechipperson5913]

Always good to know your not alone

[@33hegemon]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

[@tumourfish1035]

'no that's not cryptiiic, that's shiiiiiiit.' one of my favourite ricky lines.

[@uyy7uhy]

"How is Jonathan Ross?............Alright?" Hilarious

[@alastairburnett]

'Up. Up. Up. Bigga-Bagga-Doo.' Best first minute of any recording ever, haha.

[@sobchak1]

'They're like jaaazz questions' - one of my favourite Smerch remarks

[@HeatyFrog]

Hey what's that cat up to? Dude, what's the matter man?

[@GroinStrain_]

Anyone else love the fact that this cat Ollie mentioned in this episode is the one still featured in Ricky's twitter and facebook pages?

[@emilyj9497]

The fang!

[@kraken589]

Ollie must be pretty old by now. I have a cat that’s 15 and Ollie has to be around the same age.

[@alfiemitchell3026]

Rip ollie

[@ineedmoreflavour1955]

Alfie Mitchell RIP indeed

[@studkickass513]

RIP Ollie 💔

[@mickerzsnickerz]

Ricky: "Probably not my birthday this year. But next year, we'd have known each other 7 or 8 years, so come to that one." Steve: "Do I need to wear the waiters outfit again?"

[@Unholyspirit]

what was the reference?

[@bretn7]

Oliver Steinbeck just a joke.

[@Unholyspirit]

Was it not an actual reference to something though?@@bretn7

[@Unholyspirit]

thelunaticfringe lol ty for explaining

[@MichaelLeightonsKarlyPilkboys]

The greatest intro to any XFM show ever.

[@MrJaynash]

I love it when's karl says "no it's better than godfather" and ricky says "oh really? What's my favourite film then, kez and the elephant man?"

[@danspitalnik]

+MrJaynash Such a witty response.

[@itsMrNoble]

You’re better than the godfather, mate, if anyone is...

[@studkickass513]

And Karl is too stupid to even see what's happening 🤣

[@boigeorge886]

God fathers pretty dull. 3+ hrs of Pacino brooding

[@topcat6298]

@@boigeorge886 Ricky's point is that it's subjective. Both movies are really good but it depends on your taste.

[@TheKnowledgeofGoD]

Years of listening to these and every time I gain more and more respect for smerch. He’s super quick witted

[@Scallion_D]

Utter legend.

[@jmdev8775]

M m

[@user-zm4yk1et6g]

very witty but has a bit of a backwards view on society i think hahah

[@GRAFRU68]

Very arbitrary observation. That annoys me. Angers me!

[@markyh88]

I love these shows, I listen all the time and like so many others in the comments section I have done for over a decade... But as I get older and further away from the era these were recorded I feel a certain melancholy and sadness that such a fun time in my life has gone.. Since these were recorded life has got noticeably worse with the rise of things like social media, and these were just much simpler times for everyone.. especially me just fresh out of school and finding my way in the world! Still love these though

[@RiC_David]

32:19 I love when Karl tries to explain his Rockbusters by just repeating the answer in a voice

[@rumbleshakeskin]

34:21 I love when Karl said his age when his parents watched him. 35:03 Ricky, "How old were ya?" Karl, "Pff... 'bout 13." Ricky, "Really?" Karl, "Probably." Ricky, "Yeah?" Karl, "'bout no 'bout 10 probably." Ricky, "Yeah?" Karl, "6." Ricky, "Jesus, HOW OLD WERE YA?! WHAT SCHOOL WERE YOU AT?!"

[@Crimson34533]

+Rumbleshakeskin Entertainment Karl: eeeeerm...

[@MrNotech]

Karl has the weirdest memory ever. Like he hasn't got direct access to his memories as Ricky puts it once

[@gtpliquid1290]

"Oh, Manchester school."

[@HaydnG266]

Between 6-13 🤣

[@mikeydoc11]

Karl in a film really shows how good his editing skills are, and how he always had a hidden talent for acting.

[@Christoff070]

I think he has acting ability, but only to play a similar version of himself )

[@liambennion9627]

@@Christoff070 thats almost exactly what i was gonna say! 😝

[@AA-hg5fk]

That's how he won a silver at the Sony awards, now who's the weak link?

[@mikeydoc11]

@@AA-hg5fk funny that, cause these 3 together couldn’t even get a bronze

[@MrLloydbryant]

​@@liambennion9627 ,..,,,, 11qp

[@tomjames8493]

After listening to these every night to fall asleep for ten years now, I’ve finally accepted this is going to be a thing for the rest of my life.

[@jbri1]

Its meditation. Ricky's laugh, Karl's lack of self-consciousness, Steve's humility

[@sarahp8937]

How's it going? Still listening?

[@BoManton]

We can only hope

[@tomjames8493]

Still listening.

[@shecklesmack9563]

That’s what I thought years ago, but it got to the point where I knew what was coming next on every episode. I took a few years break but I’m back on the horse now.

[@33hegemon]

"Higher or lower: Neil Armstrong. The first man on the moon. This guy's been to the moon."

[@33hegemon]

8:38 Ricky's self-conscious "whats" just crack me up here lol

[@TheOssumPawesome]

Really do wonder about Steve not getting invited to Ricky's birthday party everytime I run into this episode

[@shanilemeow2942]

Right? Weird

[@brianhurley2194]

TheOssumPawesome Yeah, what IS up to that?

[@JohnSnash]

I think it’s probably a couples thing

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

John Snashall Or maybe because Steve is a jealous, insecure prick who no one really likes. x

[@joelsutherley6238]

@@Sheriff_GrimLaw I like him

[@alandodd3184]

I'm not the only one who falls asleep to all these. like other people, I am often woken up by Ricky's laugh or shouting 'don't talk shit' at kman

[@JFKUnderscore]

Have been doing the same for about 6 yrs xD One tab, these lot, and on the other tab rain sounds :D

[@JFKUnderscore]

Hahahahahahahahahahah x'D This slayed me! You fuckin genius

[@bluesnail9263]

FDCbadaman Hahahahaha

[@tegustacarmen]

I do the same! I'm now convinced I wouldn't be able to sleep without the sound of their voices.

[@TheManorBeast]

Haha so true Literally like 3am ‘AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA’ Shocked awake but even though abruptly awoken ...grinning. That’s what you call good comedy 😁

[@penelopeasmr1009]

I’ve listened to these so many times yet somehow they are still providing me with hours of entertainment

[@ericl2105]

Me too 🤷🏻‍♂️❤️👍🏼

[@seanbrown8533]

Why not just put a pic of a flower as your profile pic?

[@seanbrown8533]

@@penelopeasmr1009 it's weird and pointless. Toodle pip flower head.👋🏻

[@ElsaFrozen-qs5zg]

​@@penelopeasmr1009why is your profile picture a rose?😊

[@NatS3703]

One of my favourite aspects of the show is Steve reading out the random tat that karl got as prizes 😅 - like the free giveaway that karl ripped out of a newspaper

[@enthrallingusername]

45 Seconds into the show and I'm pissing myself laughing. Come on.... I'm alright I'M UP FOR IT!

[@chaosinorderrr]

A RETRO CUT THERE!

[@samwebb5329]

Just going to fall asleep to this now, thanks man moth!!

[@ManMoth]

+Sam Webb That's alright mate!

[@samwebb5329]

***** haha luckily that hasn't happened to me.

[@amytyrrell6010]

literally do the exact same

[@Frazerh]

+Amy Tyrrell same

[@rigbyrib100]

Same

[@capnhawkins]

35:31 Sweeping chimneys in the day, then one hour of lernin'! Also, the Film Thing with Karl's head being "squozed" is hysterical. Karl plays it so well, I can only imagine what he was doing when he was recording himself.

[@ste1301]

For sure the greatest intro to a radio show, of all time.

[@benvarma3427]

The whole witness protection and jury bit is amazing

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Would Suzanne need to change her haircut? Possibly. When did the murder happen?

[@andreastella105]

"He gave you a pet". Ollie died yesterday :(

[@Sightation]

So sad. :(

[@draekon8995]

so it goes

[@boigeorge886]

I'm sick of that cat.

[@kieranflaherty3316]

33:10 just saving my favourite moments for my next round trip 😂

[@CaptainFreezeezy]

The genuine annoyance at johnathan ross by Smerch. "ALL RIIGHT?"

[@kraken589]

CaptainFreezeezy Steve is clearly jealous of their relationship.

[@shnoogums1]

“ETs upset. What’s wrong with him?” That killed me

[@MarkWhippy]

Imagine how frustrating it must have been for the police trying to deal with Karl. It was hard enough for him to remember his age.

[@GOSTDatingandLifestyle]

12:00 Steve jealous that he didn't get invited to Ricky's party - Karl and Jonathan Ross did. Karl: "yeah, but you see him all day" then fades them out to "I'm not content to be with you in the daytime..." Nice dig, Pilk.

[@ebridgewater]

"No one wants that, baby."

[@thexox_gaming7134]

i thought i was the only one to fall asleep to this and waking up to a roaring laugh from Ricky! phones normally red hot from playing xfm play lists all night ha whoops...

[@imnotgayyy8489]

😂😂😂😂

[@justinkline8437]

"Well, why can't I just wear the afro and the glasses when I'm in court?"

[@RebornAudio]

12:06 made me sad - "What's his name?" "Ollie :)..." fades into a song. RIP Ollie.

[@MikesRecordBox]

Is anyone else starting to get concerned that they have listened to these too often, for too many years?

[@mmc1086]

I practically know them off by rote

[@lukeyraptor6738]

ngl I always feel a bit sorry for Steve when he says he never got invited to the party lol

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Probably because Steve is a twat

[@RiC_David]

@@AutomaticDuck300 But so are Ricky, Karl and Jonathan Ross, I can't see that being a problem.

[@bradymurphy1045]

@@AutomaticDuck300 you're the only twat I see. You have no sense of humour.

[@Scallion_D]

@@AutomaticDuck300 He's mates with Jonathon Ross lol. Who's a massive bellend.

[@williamsmith666]

It feels like all those parties he was never invited to bubbling over.

[@julienguieu5636]

One of the best episodes in all four series. "F--- me... No, wait, don't!"

[@thomasmilnes6126]

Pure class the world misses these times

[@EngliscSaxon]

Best intro ever 😂😂😂😂😂

[@jordanmelling759]

Greatest intro ever

[@AnythingGaming3214]

Back when Ricky Gervais got Ollie R.I.P

[@soulrebel2531]

Could listen to these 3 all day long

[@TheBusterMan]

Karl in 'One flew over the cuckoo's nest' was genius.

[@WiggysanWiggysan]

Best intro to any radio show *ever*

[@33hegemon]

One of the top ten Xfm episodes, in my opinion.

[@davejago]

I love how even E.T. speaks Jamaican to make Rockbusters clue work

[@LifeOfRy]

And it's not even Jamaican - it's just failing to pronounce the word correctly. Karl could arguably get done for racism. N'that.

[@bourneultamatum]

Steve would've loved Tinder 😂

[@John-iw1nn]

stevo34 a boggle eyed freak wouldn’t get a single like on tinder.

[@thepontiacbandit7874]

@@John-iw1nn I like Steve. He’s clever, funny and all round lovely. 🥰

[@JakeWilliams283]

E.T's a bit upset what's heeey whats that ca..hey dude! Whatsa matter man? 🎷

[@jessemiles2426]

sad listening to this in 2020 after Olly's passing :(

[@teebs2724]

Olly immortalised in an episode of Scooby Doo, great wee puss.

[@vanmantalksMetal]

Iv been searching for this episode for ages. That opening is hilarious. “Karly karly pilk boys”

[@buckeyerob39]

These are absolutely brilliant, thanks mate....Cheers !

[@matthewstephens6848]

Fuck me. I’ve listened to that intro 10 times today easy. I love how Steve laughs through it as well. A proper throaty laugh.

[@lobsterairsoft499]

Wish I had mates like these

[@tylerpatbatemandurden5777]

karly pilk boys

[@markjackson6151]

That cat died this this week. RIP Ollie

[@Mothernatureontherun]

And now they’ve adopted Pickles. =^..^=

[@TheBunniechannel]

whats my favourite film then? dont want to embrass myself

[@kygodragon4782]

embarras*

[@mitchbrady1940]

@@kygodragon4782 *EMBARRASS

[@deltaframes-os4km]

I didn't realise there was an actual answer. 😀

[@liambennion9627]

Children of the Corn?

[@brianhurley2194]

That One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest scene was the greatest thing ever! lol. Karl's actually a pretty talented voice actor if he recorded it in one setting. lol.

[@guskim434]

"Get 'im off a'me!"

[@matth5631]

Reading a of comments that mention they play this while they sleep. Anyone ever found these drip feeding into their dreams? Last night I was listening to the old podcasts as I fell asleep and my dream involved sitting on a long haul flight with Karl as the captain giving Rock Buster clues over the tannoy while an infuriated Stephen Merchant was sat next to me trying to guess the clues.

[@Scallion_D]

Missing Elliot lol. That's great.

[@TranceSuperWave]

ONE HOUR OF LUYRNIN'

[@jd9171]

what age were ya? 13.......10..........6...

[@connormcbride4489]

E

[@garyttomo1641]

25 mins, Steve " fuck me, no don't " lmao

[@GroinStrain_]

Cant believe Karl nearly took part in an early version of Gogglebox. Would've loved to see him watch TV moaning about the latest reality show and soap opera

[@brian2885]

he did take part. he was on flipside tv. it's on youtube here. it was a show on digital for a little bit

[@AA-hg5fk]

I would watch Gogglebox if Karl was on it, he would point out all the crap that's on telly these days

[@lilme7052]

Smerch has Ricky's friendship with jonathan summed up perfectly!

[@josephryan1701]

Steve took me out with the jonathan Ross rant 😂😂

[@WollongongWacko]

R-"You got to say no lad"

[@Dutch_bastard_23]

Karly pilkboys

[@jamesstobbart3057]

I've listened to these that many times I know what record is coming on after some of the links

[@marcconner3386]

This is peak 👌 makes my days happy

[@Aceimus1066]

This make my day... Everyday

[@johnjames7193]

Does anyone find it really strange that Ricky didn't invite Steve to his birthday party? Seems such a rude thing to do.

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

John James It’s because no one really likes the entitled lanky twat. x

[@1324hh]

@@Sheriff_GrimLaw Steve > Ricky. He's hilarious

[@bradymurphy1045]

@@Sheriff_GrimLaw you're clearly a massive twat with no sense of what good comedy is. You obviously have no sense of humour.

[@bradymurphy1045]

Yeah John James, seems really rude! Bit of a prick thing to do from Ricky.

[@gibsondanny]

@@Sheriff_GrimLaw You seem to have a real problem with Steve. You know he is a comedian. They exaggerate. What you hear on these radio shows isn't necessarily how he acts in real life.

[@craigpatterson3203]

“Oh no, that’s not cryptic, thaaat’s shhhhiiiit……you fffff”

[@karldilkington8802]

"A retro cut there, thin Lizzy don't believe a word" has to be the best intro to any of these shows lol

[@TheArcturian]

Karly Pilkboys.

[@zackevans-mcivor7850]

This is the best intro ever.

[@dale2442]

0:00. The best start to any show. “Bobbity boo who’s that over there? It’s Karly Pilkboys”

[@wilson0213]

I die of laughter every time at 33:12

[@darylchristie3809]

Brilliant

[@andyszlamp2212]

You know the compilations of "karl vs Steve" and "Twaddle" and "monkey news"..... I think their should be a compilation of "steve is jealous of ricky"

[@KINGOSWALD]

20 years ago... 😮

[@liamrodgers48]

Rickys friendship with Jonathon Ross is perhaps the funniest thing going

[@lilme7052]

it is weird though like smerch said

[@enemywithin1295]

Does always make a bit sad that Ricky didn't invite Steve to his birthday party.

[@jizzbitch69]

The origin of Ollie!

[@lilme7052]

Find it on utube

[@nykook]

"Missy Elliot" ahaha

[@jongil6379]

Thirteen... Ten... Six... 'Ow Old were ya!?

[@mitchpitch]

I want to take a years break from these so i can come back refreshed having forgotten a lot of it and starting again from the beggining. But that would require taking a break 😫

[@rooty]

I don't believe for a second that Steve actually said "fuck me! ...no, don't!"

[@DonaldLancon]

47:50 "I wonder if it's almost a strange premonition of the future: you in some kind of home." 8 1/2 years before Karl appeared in 'Derek'.

[@tobyholloway3326]

RIP Ollie x

[@sneezydeezymcdeluxe7015]

Do you think higher or lower... Neil Armstrong, the first man ON THE MOON. This guys been to the MOON.

[@capnhawkins]

Ricky makes the most adorable noises sometimes, like the squawk at 9:09

[@jaserogers997]

As a proud LGBTQ+ ally, there is pretty much nothing they said in this episode that isn't true of gay men. It's just fucking funny, sorry 🙂