yall don't like natural hair.

[@KrissesSZN]

The natural hair community still has a long way to go. I think some of those early KZbinrs influenced us a lot more than we realize. From the terms, to the products, to the methods. A lot of what they showed was styling (which takes time) and product dependency (which takes money and is basically trial and error), and not just natural love and basic care. I have to respect them for showing us we can live without relaxers. But yea, still a lot of work to do

[@sigh_yuri]

you said SEVERAL words 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@luciaescobarz]

In my opinion the early KZbinrs really embraced their hair . I am talking Cipriana Quann, the Habby, Naturally High, What’s beneath the weave, igbocurls, sera2544….JOSTYLIN!!🫶🏾❤️ this was back in 2012

[@chicalertng]

👌🏽👌🏽

[@teresaamanfu7408]

I don’t think it’s ugly. Mine is just really difficult to manage.

[@lifewithleahbeauty]

I try to keep it like natural for these reasons but I don’t see the support

[@Ambi1021]

Ugh!! The number of black female coworkers who were so concerned with my natural hair was unreal. I was told my hair looks like it needs a comb pulled through it, I should straighten it, nappy and constantly asking if they could do my hair for me. I honestly think it stems from self-hatred. Some people dont like to see you comfortable in your natural state because theyre not comfortable in theirs.

[@Anisa-zs9cl]

That last sentence says it all ☝🏽

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

I don’t think anyone is comfortable with single strand knots. If you don’t brush through your hair every day your hair is not healthy. If you don’t get your hair trimmed every 6 to 8 weeks your hair is not healthy. When i wear my hair curly it is always brushed through and I keep it simple in a ponytail or high bun. Setting lotion is all you need, no edge control, LOC method. Just setting lotion and keeping your hair in the same hairstyle In other words brush it, put it up, and don’t touch it

[@Ambi1021]

@@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL ...❓️

[@jidoorifalcon]

@@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL Was the first paragraph sarcasm?

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@jidoorifalcon These are facts. Stop listening to KZbinrs and listen to licensed cosmetologists

[@leena5875]

natural hair isn’t hard to take care of or style when you’re not forcing it to be something it isn’t

[@Ldogg247]

That part!

[@AyaaAcademia]

came here to say this! the multiple-steps that take few hours are to manipulate the natural hair into one of those "aspirational" styles.

[@Bunihime]

Thank you

[@TitianX]

This part smh been saying it for years!

[@Phoebeknz]

Talk about it!

[@narukouzumaki2484]

“You’re holding out hope for genetics you don’t have” my god why did you have to scalp us like this 😂

[@chayo4537]

Apply that sentiment all across the board not just black women 😂

[@nikkie_a]

@@chayo4537 Other women are not her concern. Her community is her concern.

[@everObvious]

@@chayo4537 Let’s 😒 not overstate things. A couple of years back, a young cousin I was mentoring attempted to school me that ALL women of ALL races straighten their hair, every day. I casually made contact with my dozen or so female Asian acquaintances on FB, and every single one them confirmed that no, they do not straighten their hair.

[@kathleenking47]

​@@chayo4537white women, or WM get with asians for kids with thicker Asian hair? I've seen an half asian with baby fine textured hair which grew slow, and couldn't curl

[@ChildOfYahuahElohim]

Not scalp us LOL

[@jolievanille]

"yall have managed to make natural hair the lowest form of beauty, and you expect people with the wrong type of natural hair to you to be silent so as not to disturb your comfort levels too much." This.

[@simpleplanfan011]

People will say they love natural hair and then post a picture of Zendaya 🤡

[@amethysteviolette1862]

my jaw drapped because its SO TRUE🤣

[@cuupocabra1880]

Lol true

[@SW-vn7ve]

😂😂😂😂 So freaking true! We have to reprogram as a people.

[@HinataUchiha_22]

They do that for lots of stuff Like saying I love black girls and posting zendaya like she not a direct descendant of whiteness through her mom

[@ngndnd]

wtf is zendayas natural hair anyway? isnt it just frizzy wavy hair?

[@odi320]

I used to be criticized for my unkempt edges. With my Type 4 hair why would I want Type 1 edges? People obsessed with laid edges when they really just want straight hair

[@sigh_yuri]

you said the part no one wants to say out loud

[@CoCo-ew7zi]

I’ll admit, I’m a lazy natural so I don’t bother with “laid edges” either 😆

[@jessicabw]

My entire life, edges have never been my thing.

[@priscillabaileymusic]

I've wasted money on edge control that don't lay mine so I stopped bothering

[@jazzyj904]

The last part of that sentence was actually ridiculous. If someone wants to style their hair, why would their edges not be part of that? Depending on the style, the edges aren’t long enough to fit into it. It’s just simply framing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[@actuallyjuliee]

"Why do you want to hate natural hair so bad and then get mad when hair discrimination continues?" 👏 👏 That's such a nice way to summarise it. SPEAK ON IT!!

[@rhe987]

Because of hair discrimination that occurred, some black people hate their natural hair.’

[@thewordsmith5440]

You make it sound like we deserve to be discriminated against. We don't have to prove anything so we don't experience racism.

[@tinaye8638]

I realised this when I saw how obsessed the natural hair community is with 'defining curls' and using a thousand products to make their hair everything other than what it is naturally.

[@stephaniem2951]

THIS!! Also the names of hair products like saying “anti-frizz”, like our hair doesn’t naturally do that on its own and that is how natural Afro-textured hair is in general. Or “Curl definer or enhancer”…? I could care less about those things rather I care about having a moisturizer to both moisturize and style my hair which is simple. Paying attention to the names of brands will have you spending unnecessary money too. People try to act like thick natural hair is hard to take care of but it’s really not🤷🏾‍♀️(it’s only hard for people who hate their natural hair, don’t appreciate or like themselves, or doesn’t want to get to learn their hair by spending time styling it and embracing in it’s natural state rather than seeking outside/external opinions)

[@Yougotthis1212]

Why you mad when you just don’t have curly hair… just accept the texture you have without putting down those who do. There’s nothing wrong with defining your NATURAL texture

[@zenzibell]

The natural hair movement was authentic back in the 60/70, and the late 80s/early 90s. It then got co-opted (I'm sure deliberately) by people who prioritized loose curls. I sincerely hope it goes back to the way it should be. Thank you for this, it needed to be said just the way you said it.

[@bre9328]

I've always said, we are over a decade into the natural hair movement, and somehow wigs have shot up in sales, and we are still discussing how to comfortably wear our hair in it's natural state 😒

[@kwanita]

I cut my permed hair, and went natural and people say I have great genes . While they don't see the trial and error , the arm work , broken combs , tears ,the prayers to God I now have the softest hair in my family and friend group. Moral of the story is work for the life you want ❤

[@bre9328]

@@kwanita 🤔 Softest hair? Great genes? What?

[@sashhhaa4874]

when I started to wear my natural hair journey the goal was to grow my type 4 hair to a length I was comfortable to wear it out with. 5 years later and my hair has probably grown maximum an inch 😅 and it’s still not at the length that I wanted it to be. So now I’m starting to realise that length may never be reached, and I should learn to love it at the length that it’s at 😅.

[@honeyblue2902]

The movement is changing many peoples' attitudes toward natural hair but the overarching culture has not changed. Our current culture simply does not allow for the average person to take care of their natural hair the way they want to. It takes a lot of time, money, effort, and routine changes that aren't allotted in our society. I'm not very skilled in hair care and when I went natural right before college I would lose whole weekends to de-tangling, washing, drying, and styling my hair. Then I would wear it in these terrible braids (my poor skills, haha) that I felt like I had to coverup all the time until I could rock a braid out for a few days, then twist it up for a while, then rock a twist out for a few days. I have fluffy locs now and I love it. I wish I had done it sooner so I wouldn't have lost so much time and energy to wash weekend while in school.

[@bre9328]

@@honeyblue2902 Honestly, some of the things you stated were said about going natural in general. Some ppl thought society wasn't built for natural hair in general, but we as a group changed that, when we stopped buying relaxers. Honestly, if we all walked out the house with shrunken hair, people would just have to accept it, but yall aren't ready for that conversation yet, I guess🤷🏿‍♀️

[@LouisKaffy]

I'm Nigerian so you'd think the people here would be more accepting of natural hair but no. I've had two male friends grab my hair in public on different occasions while asking me why my hair is not in braids like the other girls(the hair i took my time to comb and shape out because I'm in that short fro phase!!!) and i do reply with "what? why are you bothered about the natural hair God gave me? We literally have the same natural hair. Put yours in braids!" But it still do upset me because I'm on a journey of learning to love my hair the way it grows out of my scalp and it's a bit of a struggle. Still don't know how to properly moisturize my hair because nothing seems to be working and here they are making me feel bad about it. I got braids recently and a female course mate literally said to me"can't you see you look prettier now?". That made me angry that i had to take the braids down. I really still don't know what works best for my hair while being on a budget because natural products are freaking expensive here!!! but i won't relent on this journey of loving my hair . I've gotten compliments too on how my short fro makes me look cuter so that helps me ignore the "haters". My hair always looks like I've had them even for three weeks even when freshly braided. It's annoying having my mom make comments about it or hairdressers make backhanded comments about it. Still dont know why my hair is that way. Combing everyday can be a bit tiring and manipulating my hair everyday too won't allow length retention. What to do? lol

[@sigh_yuri]

OH MY WORD?!?!?! i just got shivers, chills, THE ICK reading all of that, your personal space has been ruthlessly violated 😫 and abt moisturizing your hair, the stylists in the description teach how to do that, they make haircare so simple and the techniques they use solve like 99% of hair problems

[@adiahauzor3381]

Hi, Fellow Nigerian living in Nigeria lol. I can relate a lot to what you’re saying. My hair texture is what they call 4c. I spent the last year living without braiding, cornrowing, wearing wigs or pressing my hair. I even wore my natural hair to a wedding! Honestly I discovered the solution is quite simple: Wash the hair, condition it and then style it (here you may use gel, mousse or hair lotion). The key to success with styling is trimming the ends every 2-3 months to decrease knots and tangles. Once you start to do this, detangling is much much easier. Trimming also can let your hair have a shape which for some may find it more “aesthetically pleasing”. I know how much hair products are in Nigeria but you don’t have to use products marketed towards natural hair. You can just use the regular stuff. Further more, embrace the shrinkage. I learned that once you consistently wash the hair and style it over time it becomes much easier to detangle and manage even when it shrinks. To be honest I learned most of my techniques from Afro Brazilian youtubers. They had a natural hair movement around the same time as the states but for them, their goal is to wear their hair out. They don’t have an extensive wig/weave and braid wearing culture as Africans and African Americans. For them braids and wigs are a treat or something different it try and not their regular hair style. They love to wear their hair out as fros etc. so much of their hair styling techniques is optimized for wash and go etc. I preferred their routines because they were more consistent and less time consuming than English speaking KZbin. If you would like to see one of their videos I recommend Loquinablack or look up the words crespo 4c. The videos are in Portuguese but you can use subtitles. Again you don’t have to have access to their hair products, just understand the techniques they are using and you’ll be golden. Finally, many folks are being hard on themselves. Some of us have spent many years not getting to know our hair outside of extensions etc and when confronted with it, we get frustrated and say it’s too hard. Meanwhile we haven’t had our whole childhood to learn to do this and so now as adults, the threshold to give up is lower. So be patient with yourself! It takes times to reverse all the lack of moisture living constantly in extensions/braids does to one’s hair Good luck with your journey!

[@midnightbreezes]

@@adiahauzor3381wow! Even though this reply wasn’t aimed at me this really encouraged me. Thank you for sharing. Getting braids soon and already dreading what I’m going to do with my hair once I take them out! Maybe this is something I can try.

[@StarC2233]

​@@adiahauzor3381thank you for taking time to share. I'm going to look into your recommendations

[@lavellans]

It’s not so different in America with the unsolicited and backhanded comments both inside and outside. But keep your head up nonetheless ❤

[@KeniaClaus]

Not one lie told, let’s not even talk about the baby hair/edges chokehold. It’s comical at this point😩

[@sigh_yuri]

teenage hairs loaded up with gel and swooped to high heaven

[@marzipan2555]

I had never even heard of baby hairs until the internet, and it also xlooked so silly on me anyways

[@tiwiogunye]

hAHAHA you're so funny@@sigh_yuri

[@chayo4537]

​@@marzipan2555youre not black

[@JESOGROUP92]

@@sigh_yuri The fact that people are either relaxing their edges or buying fakes edge weave to the corners of their foreheads is crazy to me.

[@afiapomaa]

You snapped. The fact taht its called "natural" hair and not just hair speaks to the default of our psyche

[@sigh_yuri]

i’ve never said this out loud, but this comment inspired me to. i want our community to get to the place where the phrase “natural hair” doesnt mean smth different for us than what it means for other ppl. the concept of “natural hair” as we know it, especially in relation to its opposite, only exists in our demographic. obviously ik the history behind that, but its called history for a reason.

[@ladybird491]

Whew! Speak!! 👐

[@rue.eudoxie]

Damn never thought about that. Clock it

[@terri-lynnowens3760]

I remember my friend told me that I “never have my hair done.” Mind you, my hair is always done but it’s always natural. Her idea of kept hair is buss downs or weaves. It’s really discouraging sometimes to be viewed in a negative way because of my hair. It’s disheartening to see Black women degrade themselves or say “I look hit” just because they’re in their natural state. We don’t have to change or have different texture hair to be beautiful and kept.

[@ChildOfYahuahElohim]

Heavy on the "I look hit" part. The amount of times I've heard that or seen that is crazy. Now I don't have 4abc hair, mine is more 3b/3c but I always adored my mothers 4b/4c fro she wore proudly. And when my friends say that nonsense, I'm like girl bye, you look fine or your fro's cute!. It's always genuine cuz it's literally your hair, why be ashamed that it's nor done? Now if it's a bit ashy then I might be like "girl, let's get some moisture rq lol" but it's the hair that God gave you. He didn't give you the bust down edged wig, he gave you your course fro and the higher the better!

[@en7252]

4c always looks undone, and that's the problem . I think the 4b/4c is a curse.

[@jasminer.6721]

​@@en7252lots of people with 4c hair don't know what they're doing, so they blame their hair texture. So I can understand if you think your hair is a curse but you can keep that energy else where.

[@en7252]

@jasminer.6721 Nah, even when it's style up, it still looks "meh"

[@purenitefall]

@@en7252You have a lot of self-hate. I wish you therapy and healing.

[@crcajo]

FACTS! When I tell you all the dirty looks I've received from our own while starting my locs and throughout my nearly 6-year loc journey....mind you the ones giving the dirty looks are wearing lace front wigs with babyhair all over the face, braids, and extensions to their rear end and beyond. The baby hair alone has to stop also. I'm even frowned upon for never "laying my edges". If they dont naturally lay upon my forehead and temple, why should I force it!?

[@sigh_yuri]

i stopped laying my edges years ago. insistence on controlling the hair does nothing but frustrate you. our hair isnt meant to be controlled like that and thats okay!!

[@cmg25]

The baby hair phenomenon is a far cry from what we did in the 90s which was literally water and a toothbrush. The shellacking of hair that isn’t even “baby hair” is a trip.

[@nibabi]

Right! I always thought laying baby hairs were messing with the legit hairs you have on you forehead already. Only water is needed to move them around. I have a bunch but I don’t really mess with them. People are styling the front part of their regular hair with finger waves onto their face and desperately trying to convince others it’s baby hair. No. Just no!

[@mahlwal]

Same, and I even get dirty looks from other loc people. I get a retwist every 2-3 months and not exactly every 6 weeks. A lot of people with locs don't even like their hair because as soon as the new growth is showing, they run to hide it.

[@alziedownes1955]

😂

[@Ldogg247]

You are so correct. And they hate the “shrinkage”. But I don’t like that term because my hair doesn’t “shrink” it curls up tightly. It’s still the same length. Calling it shrinkage is just another negative connotation because they are so obsessed with needing to see the length. They want their curly hair to behave like straight hair which is so ridiculous.

[@sigh_yuri]

this this this!!!!!!

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

There’s nothing wrong with keeping your hair stretched. The real questions are what phase of the hair growth cycle are you in, do you get your hair trimmed by a pro every 6 to 8 weeks, is your scalp clean and free of oil (not sebum) and are you retaining length

[@TexasGal.]

Good point. Personally, I’ve always loved “shrinkage.” When I want my hair shorter, there is no need to cut it. I just wear it in its most shrunken state. The versatility of natural hair is incredible.

[@moonbaby222]

i always thought this...like when something shrinks it's smaller than its supposed to be like with clothes etc. my hair is meant to coil up ("shrink") ??? it's not a burden or something that needs to be fixed😹🚶🏾‍♀️

[@jazzyj904]

Shrinkage is just the term to describe what happens when the curls tighten. You guys are taking terms that have no negative definitions, then adding them on, and judging other people for using them.

[@harmonyexists2834]

It must be exhausting to be a black woman pressured to assimilate or conform to contrived beauty standards. It's hard enough just as a woman. I have chosen to rebel against conformity in general. I've been shaving my head for several years now. I got so tired of doing my hair. Got tired of wearing makeup too. I'm tired of the petty and shallow examples we are setting for our youth. I'm tired of our youth feeling bad about themselves. I'm tired of all the comparisons. Our time here is finite, and I'm more concerned with being a beautiful person, than looking like one.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

I’m not exhausted though. I feel free. They’re choosing to make their hair more than just hair. Like every other race of woman, I wash condition use leave in and blowdry my hair. Sometimes I flat iron it. It’s not any more difficult than what the next woman has to do

[@CaribbeanGlow]

Not me lol. I high key get so proud when I step into a bus to the subway with every women, including black, wearing straight hair to the floor and my fro is reaching for the heavens, an Afro pick is in there so I can always pick it out some more. I laugh and smh at Black women wearing those helmets of straight weave who dare to giggle at me. My father and mother praised my hair, my father said when it was getting bigger "you got that hair from me" with a big smile on his face. I will not let the self hatred of my skin folk rain on my parade. In fact, let the rain fall, free hydration from Mother Earth.

[@harmonyexists2834]

@@CaribbeanGlowFantastic attitude, instilled by fantastic parenting. You're a great example for women, young people, and men too. 👏👏👏

[@ladybird491]

​@@CaribbeanGlow PREACH! Tell it!

[@ohtartarsauce6301]

@@DOLCEKAYEXOTICALthat’s your experience Being a woman with 4c hair on the other hand…

[@smg3250]

The women in Africa are no better. The face the woman styling your hair makes when she says, "Your hair is hard/kinky/difficult." Then she charges you extra for the trouble. What. The. Heck.

[@ca678.4]

when even this mindset is present in the countries of Africa you know it’s a sick generational curse. The brainwashing is present even in countries which are 99% black is crazy to me. But black people will fight tooth and nail that they only feel this way “just because” it’s no wonder we haven’t seen any progress with regards to things like this.

[@90ejb]

They're just bleached and brain washed ❤

[@glamgirlsclub7605]

As an African, so true. Can’t remember the last time i went to a salon cause i can’t take the back handed talks anymore

[@3lmi__319]

@@90ejbword

[@princess_ama]

My African mom had the audacity to tell me that my 4c hair wasn’t the “right type” of hair to wear in its natural state. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@j.dossman8676]

As a black man, I love black women with natural hair. Also, as the father of a black girl, I have always encouraged hair to remain natural.

[@ma1ex]

+1 ...and I HATE wigs.

[@sherricason1548]

Yeah 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@cxlilol]

Don’t overdo it, allow her to have protective hairstyles to protect and grow her natural hair

[@chelle967]

But many of you would only like it if it is not 4c and i have heard black males say they prefer wigs and weaves over natural hair. That is a problem right there....

[@filmnoirincolor]

this isn't about you, man.

[@TheMspoodle2]

Girl, you better preach to these self haters. I love my natural 4b/4c hair. I love your hair btw.

[@sigh_yuri]

thank you!!! i cant see it but i love yours too! ♥️♥️♥️

[@Jay-p2q]

@camille3083that’s sad

[@kathleenking47]

​@camille3083some 4cs could grow bra strap hair..they just keep it stretched and take all day to wash it

[@PrincessYonna1]

@camille3083have u tried 4c clip ins?

[@coyoteblue4027]

​@camille3083 If your hair wants to be short, there's nothing wrong with that. If you don't like it short, there's nothing really wrong with that, either. So long as you recognize that you owe it to yourself to make sure you know the reasons why. If you dislike it because you dislike it on its own terms, that's unfortunate, because the hair you have is the hair you have, and obviously, it would be nicer for you if you could love it as it is. But it's still better than you disliking it specifically because you're comparing it to a standard set by someone else.

[@milorxngo]

All I see in the natural hair community is biracials selling hair products. Not even going to lie at this point

[@Arielle_C93]

Exactly! It's clear the big brands recruit certain ppl to sell their products. They be like "This $20 gel got my curls poppin!"...I'm like gurl shut up, your hair already looked like that. Bye! 😅

[@madamepaka]

​@@sadlyresting the hard, bitter truth

[@MisterJonesification]

Amen, see this in the media too...A LOT. A commercial with 'black people', yet the girl in it is obviously mixed, and her hair is LIGHTLY curly, it's ridiculous lol. But it's the media programming us what they deem to be 'acceptable black hair'...aka mixed hair.

[@ChocolatePickney]

Preach sistah !!! …. No one’s gonna make me think I’m not enough because of my natural hair… I love to wear my natural hair

[@sigh_yuri]

period!!!

[@smilingface4761]

Amen, love it ❤

[@Spokentruths725]

Same ❤

[@lyjbiz11]

AND DO!!!

[@ladybird491]

PERIOD.

[@sheshebewitchery]

I don't waste my energy anymore trying to convince anyone that I have a right to exist in my natural glory (no extensions, no wigs, chemically processes hair, heavy makeup, etc.) with freeform locs and a clean face

[@SonyaAlways]

Yasss!

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Yes be free!

[@paulettenimako1247]

She drops the mic, that was on POINT, thank you. It's exhausting to have to deal with people whose projecting their disconfort about their natural on those whose have already treat this issues. I am hopeful that this speech will reach my fellow so that they can confront the problem and prevent it from being passed on to the next generation.

[@MegaSlimgoody1]

Why do we need other people to validate us? I love my natural hair.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Apparently we need the natural hair community to validate us too

[@honeyblue2902]

We don't, but we come from a history of disenfranchisement from people invalidating us and denying us the resources needed for upward mobility and growth. A lot of Black people's sense of self-worth was poisoned because of this.

[@mariec7092]

​​@@honeyblue2902 You want upward mobility from people but you don't care about their validation. You want the same from a husband too ? You get to chose the good looking generous one and he doesn't get to also have preferences ?

[@PrincessYonna1]

We don’t but black women who hate their hair need to shut up and keep it all to themselves. Other black women don’t want to hear it anymore.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@PrincessYonna1 keep what to themselves? Negative comments about natural hair?

[@adams8830]

It is okay to have short natural hair. Short hair gorgeous as well!

[@Butterflyangelic]

I hate the my 4c hair could never comments just so embarrassing

[@sigh_yuri]

can’t ever 4c anything in their future

[@elysiyah3364]

@@sigh_yuri 😂😂

[@oatmilk606]

What I hated the most is how those comments would have one thousand to 3 thousand likes.

[@rdkirk3834]

Reject that terminology! That rating system was invented in the 90s by a biracial man who loved his white mother's hair. The only reason it became popular was because he happened to be Oprah's hair stylist who kept her hair straight. _Reject_ the idea that your hair is at the bottom of that one man's rating scale. For anyone specializing in black hair, your coily hair should be at the _top_ of their rating scale, because your hair is what they are doing most, and they should be experts in it. Reject any black hair stylist who isn't an _expert_ in coily hair. You don't want to deal with someone who can't handle your hair unless it's straightened or texturized or processed first. Even if you want to wear your hair straight, you want a stylist with _profound_ knowledge of your hair the way it grows from your head.

[@fruitsarelife7073]

Yesss those Are low key racist.

[@tigress_4393]

Personally, my hair started being more healthy when i accepted it for how beautiful it is, and blocked out all the voices around me

[@thereal.daniiii777]

lady sat down, stated her very valid and very true point, stuttered not once, and left the girlies shook with her ending statement. if that didn’t eat, then i don’t know what did 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@sigh_yuri]

😂😂😂 thank you!!

[@thereal.daniiii777]

@@sigh_yuri ofc!! u were very articulated and to the point, and as someone who can also relate to having struggled with people around me hating on my natural hair/afro, it really hit close to home (in a good way ofc). keep up the good work ☺️

[@ladybird491]

She ate and left no memory of any crumbs. 🤣

[@frankieeebaby4743]

I been saaaaaying this😭😭😭😭 like look at the plethora of different and Beautiful protective styles we have made and more we'll come up with....PICK ONE

[@frankieeebaby4743]

btw you're so pretty you kinda remind me of my sister😭😭

[@EssenceofSassy]

FACTS!!! And can we also talk about the number of "natural hair salons" that ONLY do silk presses. Like where are the natural hair stylist that actually do natural hair and hair styles. I want to get my hair twisted, flat twist, straw sets by someone that isn't looking to steam my hair straight to make it look "presentable."

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Nothing wrong with a silk press. Cyn Doll on KZbin has an amazing foam roller set tutorial that came out beautifully

[@EssenceofSassy]

@@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL There's nothing wrong with a silk press, however, I feel as though if you're a natural hair stylist, silk presses shouldn't be the entirety of what you offer as a service. If every one of their pictures on IG are nothing but silk pressed hair, why would I want to go to them. I want someone that does natural hair.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@EssenceofSassy natural hair means you don’t have any broken disulfide bonds. This whole movement is pressuring Black women to wear their hair in a certain texture and that is just as racist as shaming Black women for wearing certain textures. If a Black woman wants do whatever to her hair as long as it is healthy clean and styled it is fine. When will we start talking about the science behind hair care and leave all this vanity and fake Black pride behind

[@EssenceofSassy]

TBH, I don't think we're on the same page. I am speaking of what hairstylist offer as a service. I don't have an issue with other Black women wearing whatever hairstyles they are happy with. As Saiuri Diogé stated in her video, the issue is that sadly many women feel pressured to NOT wear their hair out if their texture is 4c. MY issue was that there aren't many NATURAL HAIRSTYLIST that actually STYLE our hair AS IS, verses trying to silk press it. @@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL

[@nirvanaheights]

@@DOLCEKAYEXOTICALthey said they don’t want a silk press… is that something to argue about? If I wanna get my hair done in a natural style, then that’s what I want. Why can’t I?

[@BlushingRoseDiaries]

Had family suggest for me to straighten my hair for my wedding. Did I? Nope! I had the prettiest natural hair bun. Now that I think about it I wish I wore it in a fro 😂

[@sigh_yuri]

they would have been APPALLED 😂 and i would’ve been living for it! i wore my natural hair to every formal event my university had once i stopped getting my hair crocheted

[@757Princess]

I would rather die than wear a wig or straight hair to my wedding (both time I wore my natural hair). But oddly enough I wear wigs often

[@Timetrae]

I know that’s right sis!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@PHlophe]

@@sigh_yuri the hair un is a the one compromise that keeps eerrrbody but its true that a full fro would have raised eyebrows among negative folk

[@kathleenking47]

Bun was better It's a wedding

[@sakeasanarii-un7gw]

girl u ate. the way the natural hair movement as of now has been used as a way to uplift looser hair types in comparison to tighter ones is beyond me. the issue of us not loving our hair in its pure natural state is still not being addressed nor supported by the black masses which is extremely unfortunate because the one group of people we need uplifting from when it comes to our hair is us. because when we see others like us love and embrace it that'll strengthen the bonds and relationships that we have with one another and our own hair.

[@DreamyTee123]

Unpopular and low key an off topic opinion but a lot of black womens reason for hating their hair is because the men they desire don’t like their hair which are mostly black men 🌚 I see tons of black women wearing their hair natural when they date out but this natural hair convo and feeling uncomfortable wearing natural styles are strictly a problem amongst the girlies who do not date out

[@pineappleisland9802]

I don’t think this is off-topic at all. I honestly wish she would’ve mentioned how the primary reason why most black women and girls feel so insecure about their hair is that in addition to dealing with white supremacy and European standards, we have to face bullying, texturism, and extreme misogynoir from the men in our community.

[@Sukuna1983]

I cannot deny your lived experience but I can say as a black man I have had the opposite thing happen. Many of us get called sassy, being in women's business, or controlling for expressing we don't like the wigs, weaves, eye lashes and long nails. When we express we like natural women we get shouted out and shamed. The current look of many black women like K. Michelle for instance is identical to transgender females. The wigs and weaves with the stupid baby hairs look comical.

[@WilliamsPinch]

@@Sukuna1983 black men don’t have to say it, they just have to live it. If black women were experiencing favorable treatment from black men with their natural hair, they’d wear it.

[@EscapingBroke]

Facts. I date out and the 👋🏻 love my hair. They think it is so sexy

[@sophie_Tamara]

Unrelated but you are really pretty

[@sigh_yuri]

awww thanks 🥹🥰

[@WTFVIDSok]

Sis, take a trip to Tanzania. The women wear so many styles of natural hair. Super creative! Short hair is no problem, still beautiful. Some do have perms but the saw natural hair the most. You need to go. You will gain confidence. Leave the haters. They are ignorant and lost.

[@sigh_yuri]

oh trust, i have full confidence in my natural hair, you can see proof of that on my IG. im just bringing up the conversation bc we’ve avoided it for too long. we’ve made it too much of an individual issue so now its undoing our community’s confidence and self love again.

[@hAnah1112xX]

Shout out TZ 🌅!

[@theetherealshaye]

This is interesting. As someone who’s never had a relaxer, and doesn’t necessarily like added hair, I’ve always had a good relationship with my hair, UNTIL I started obsessing over natural hair KZbin videos. One one hand, I learned more tips to take care of my hair especially on my own, and it’s flourished, and I enjoy the communal aspects, having others to talk about hair with and all its experiences. On the other hand, the hair that I’d always seen as normal now became aspirational, because I’ve always had “long”, thick, type 4 hair. The struggles I never had around my hair, like major texturism or seeing your hair as challenging and tough to manage and even being masculinised for your hair, now became things I focused on and worried about due to hearing about those from other people. And I was never fully satisfied, being in a place where my hair was a goal but also having hair goals. My hair became me, instead of a part of me. Now things are better. I cut my hair the way I want to, I enjoy wearing it out and in styles, and I’m revamping my routine to fit my new adult lifestyle. Overall though, I step back from the community so that my hair can just be my hair: an expression of me. My hope for the natural hair movement and black women as a whole is for them to be able to see their hair how I saw mine growing up: as normal, beautiful, and most of all, an expression of the beauty inside each of us instead of being the beauty itself.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Exactly never let your hair become you

[@everObvious]

This can be the Internet, in general. Recently, I’ve been consuming a lot of male improvement content. I’m finding most of it gets classified as “red pill” even when going out of their way to distance themselves from RP talking points. It can be hard to individuate, online. The algorithms seem to want to distill us to the most radical extremes. 😢 Wish I had advice on how to stay grounded, that didn’t involve unplugging…

[@humminbirrrd]

I love that you used the word "normal" to describe our hair. I'll never forget I was talking with a friend - she was not Black, and this was about 15 years ago, when I still had a relaxer - and we were talking about hair. She made a comment about "normal" hair - meaning straight. At the time I didn't know how to react and said nothing. Now, I would say, "Normal? My natural hair grows out of my head super coily, and it is normal. What do you mean by 'normal?'"

[@stephaniem2951]

I also relate to always having long natural hair and at some point was even obsessing over natural hair vids and really never felt the need to perm or relax my hair because I’ve was always fine with it.

[@swisdom9117]

I'm black with 4c hair and it makes me so sad to say that I don't like my hair. Ever since I was young I wish I had a looser hair texture. When I went natural in 2018, it was so difficult to manage and put me in so much pain (especially tangling at the roots!!) despite detangling with water, sealing, moisturising etc, I tried everything. With all that said, I truly appreciate those who genuinely love their hair! I wish that could have been me

[@janereyrules1083]

You’re not alone sis! Thin and short 4c hair here and I still can’t stand it myself…

[@kakashi4352]

Same. People saying natural hair isn’t hard to manage are just coping/lying. Imagine how much less stress I’d have if I had manageable hair 🥹

[@adu_adure1266]

I definitely get the struggle. I don't say I don't like my hair anymore but it's always been difficult to deal with. The unfortunate thing about black hair is that you have to try a lot of things to see what works because something that works for one person isn't going to work for you.

[@ladybird491]

​@@kakashi43524c hair is NOT hard to manage, I am 4c and had relaxing for years. They make detangling brushes. Stop doing all kinds of fancy styles that take hours. It literally take me less than 2 hours to braid my hair.

[@ladybird491]

​@@adu_adure1266your hair is not even or trimmed and not moisturized so that is why it is hard to comb...etc. learn how to moisturize your hair and dont keep raggedy edges.

[@princess_zulica]

im so glad this has been pointed out because honestly the natural hair space doesnt feel natural at all. Wigs, harsh products, and hiding behind all these glamourous doors out of self hate is so evident and i was starting to fall into these traps myself. I didnt want to say anything because of all these hurt people who will try to attack me, but you worded it so wonderfully. I also appreciate how you yourself are showing your natural hair to combat the beauty standard, and seeing you helped reminded me natural hair is normal and so so beautiful like your stunning honestly. Ive recently have been seeing the beauty in my hair and seeing how proudly you wear your true hair is really inspirational. congrats, you earned a new sub! :)

[@sigh_yuri]

awww thank you so much 🥹 im glad you didnt cave to the pressure and that i could be an inspiration for you!

[@jbw9113]

Girl i concur! That’s me rn!

[@chasitierowlett6255]

I love my hair i wear it everyday. I take care of it i hardly ever wear weave because I grew up loving my natural hair. I will continue to wear my natural hair.

[@sigh_yuri]

i love this!!! i wish more ppl could have this experience. i dont have a thing against added hair, but like i said, options. natural hair should always be acceptable, and that should be extended to all types of it ♥️

[@Lifeishard237]

Why is your hair covered by flower emojis in your pfp then? 😭

[@chasitierowlett6255]

@@Lifeishard237 it's a filter that's an old pic. That has nothing to do with the conversation 😐

[@_Natasha2222_]

After I watched this video, the next video that was suggested for me was “how to grow long natural hair fast.” Even the algorithm throwing shade smh . Like why can’t the next suggestion be “how to love your natural hair fast?”

[@sigh_yuri]

wait cuz that might be another video idea!!! but yes you’re so right, everything abt natural on here (and everywhere else) is “how do i get my hair to not be my hair as fast as possible.” so discouraging to the self love journey

[@CoCo-ew7zi]

My next suggested video was “Why I went back to relaxers.” 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@_Natasha2222_]

@@CoCo-ew7zi DONT DO IT!!!!

[@CoCo-ew7zi]

@@_Natasha2222_ I won't. It was just weird that it was suggested after watching this video. I may be a lazy natural, but I don't ever want to go back to the creamy crack.

[@lakeishag76]

You are preaching!! This is so rooted in anti-Blackness that it takes serious deep reflection to understand it. I’ve had to do my own reflection and it’s been UGLY because I had to confront some things from years ago-beliefs I’d thought I’d let go and released as a child. It’s like spiritual chains on our community.

[@sigh_yuri]

phewwwwww some of the things i had to admit to myself when i was confronting myself??? 😩😩😩 THATS the true natural hair journey

[@serachun2866]

You changed my life i cant thank you enough,you opened my eyes to a whole new world. Especially that i grow up in an in environment where straight hair was called soft and curl hair rough(Cries in broken inner child)

[@shanisafan]

I don't give a damn what anyone thinks of my hair. I love wearing braids and I will never stop. I also like wearing my natural hair free from all adornment, but my braids are my go to style, that includes with or without extensions. Black women's hair will always be politicized within and outside of the Black community. Do whatever you want with your hair and never allow anyone else to dictate to you how you should or should not wear it.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Amen

[@kaleyum778]

Same thing I said like who gives a damn you DONT NEED ANYBODY’S APPROVAL ITS YOUR HAIR YOUR LIFE YOUR BODY You can NEVER PLEASE PEOPLE and shouldn’t stressing if a community that doesn’t even know your name or even existence until you post or comment somewhere approve of your hairstyle 😂 It’s like people trying to to find more ways to distance/categorize people than bringing them together by ACCEPTANCE (letting them do whatever they soul desires) to me Also talking about “your black card revoked” because of this this and that. Had it said to me like that’s why you should DO YOU FOR YOU AND NOBODY ELSE.

[@dannaaaaa344]

Even men don’t like natural hair, most of them. If you’ve ever wore wigs then reverted back to your natural hair, the attention is different. I experienced this years ago. I always received the most compliments and attention with straight and long wavy hair, yet when I started wearing my natural hair, I’ve even had friends dry up. Today you can see how evident it is men even like the bust down wigs and all the unnatural stuff that come with it. It’s a plus for the women who choose to be natural because it closes doors to fake people that are living their lives through social media Edit: not all black men hate natural hair. I never said “hate” just that they don’t like it. I could hair reworded a lot of words differently, and that’s okay, just saying men are becoming accustomed and accepting off all the superficial things about women and is starting to like them more than natural state. Yet the natural state attracts men that don’t care about superficial things

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Men like whatever hair that looks healthy clean and cute including natural hair. Black men on the other hand feel entitled

[@jaiiafrica686]

Women complain about men not liking their hair but i dont want a man who is offended by my natural state anyway. Let the trash walk itself out.

[@shathegem]

God I wish y’all would stop being around bm, I’ve had multiple wm tell me they accept my hair in any way I choose to have it, they just let you exist

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@shathegem Exactly. It’s just BM. Other men don’t care as long as it looks like you put effort in.

[@honeyblue2902]

Not to defend Black men, but there's a lot of cultural trauma (in the US at least) related to what physical features were seen as being 'valuable and worth protecting' in a woman, and how that reflected on a man's overall 'success' and sense of masculinity. It's woven into the roots of our culture and really screwed up whole generations of people. You're right that healthy, confident men like healthy, confident women. A lot of Black men aren't healthy or truly confident. @@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL

[@denyshadials5702]

When social media sends non-stop ads about wigs and extensions when you’re subscribed to anything about natural hair, it’s quite telling. To the business world, ‘natural Afro hair’ literally means ‘sell them wigs’ in Chinese iykyk To every algorithm: stop flooding me with what I did NOT ask you for 😒 give me a skin care ad or something cuz this is just…🤦🏾‍♀️…

[@candicezeno938]

thought I was the only one who noticed

[@denyshadials5702]

@@candicezeno938 Nope. Just getting more prevalent and annoying by the day. I don’t even watch wig/extention content.

[@noneofyourbusinesslolz6112]

I just found this channel thinking I’d see more videos😭 she speaks with such profundity and sharpness. It’s inspiring. I hope to see more videos now that I’m subscribed

[@sigh_yuri]

loooooool sorry to disappoint you 😭 but dont worry, vids are def otw!!

[@lynnmonet7282]

Facts! I just found her tonight and I’m definitely here for it 💯

[@ClayMastah344]

Though I back your arguments I just don't want to pressure black women anymore on what they do with their hair or how they feel about it. Yes, it's important to unpack but there is so much history and societal pressure from all sides, if she is a grown woman, I say leave her alone frreal. Because we will just be the millionth voice she's hear on the topic of her hair, further disembodying her from herself and her desires even if we mean well.

[@AlexisBii]

Exactly!❤

[@flyflyfly2123]

This!! Leave black women & their hair alone!!!!

[@mendingwall3823]

Black women are the only ones in the world constantly dealing with all this talk about hair

[@ha3945]

It's not pressure, it's reality

[@Redangel.199]

A black man once told me that he hates the natural hair of black girls… I couldn’t believe what I heard. I think your hair is beautiful. I love the fullness and the feel of it. I think it really compliments the face features too… a beautiful girl is a beautiful girl and it doesn’t matter if she’s wearing a shaved head her natural hair in any length or a wig… or what ever

[@liahlove8297]

Love this rant. I know in my photo I have a wig on, but believe me, I love my hair. I wear it 99.9% of the time. To work, bars, clubs, etc. I find that some folks genuinely use those wigs as protective styles, while some use it because they hate their hair, but hate to admit it. But nonetheless, I love this video.

[@ladybird491]

Push a pic of you with your natural hair, so you stand for that no matter where you are online.

[@LonnieBhi]

It really takes years to undo the brainwashing bc a lot of influence takes place in the youth. The closer I became with God, the more I accepted my natural hair. I don't even like straight styles anymore, I don't do them because I wouldn't recognize myself. It truly is freeing once you reach that stage of loving & preferring your own natural hair.

[@ChildOfYahuahElohim]

God bless you! I'm so glad you started getting closer with God and loving on the CROWN he gave you♡

[@90ejb]

Amen I agree. I haven't straightened my hair in years 🙏🏾

[@suhmirahere]

Wow!!! same for me , when i got close to God he changed my relationship with my hair as well, ❤

[@cwoodfame]

I’ve been natural for a very long time (4c type hair). I think it looks good on me because it’s my hair. I’ve had so many black people say to me it looks good on you everybody can’t do that. 😑 I would think like so we believe that what comes out of our head is negotiable to be acceptable or not. I think we need a real natural hair movement where everybody wears their natural hair so all textures would become normalized.

[@sigh_yuri]

yesssss exactly!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@LaMarieOne]

That’s originally what it was, but the natural hair movement we’ve made mainstream glorifies laid edges and type 3 hair, it’s a symptom of our colorism and texturism to me

[@Bri-ns5rm]

Same here. It looks “good on us”because we see it as beautiful! They don’t even investigate why they think they can’t wear their hair the way it naturally grows out of their head…like it’s illogical?!?

[@ladybird491]

Damn who ever said that is toxic as hell.

[@SW-vn7ve]

​@@ladybird491Exactly!

[@animezae]

!!! If it’s not the big natural curly fro or long locs, they don’t want it. I went through hell when I started my locs but now I’m a “natural baddie” and “goals” lmao they blow me.

[@mekaartstudy]

Same here now that my 4c afro hair is big.

[@Lifeishard237]

I’m sure this is controversial but I disagree. I don’t think black women dislike their hair. I think they dislike the clear difference in treatment with different hairstyles. I’ll never forget the first time I got long braids in elementary school my crush at the time walked up to me and said I look absolutely gorgeous with braids. And he had not once spoken to me before. Long hair is gorgeous to everyone! Real or fake. Doesn’t matter. And a lot of black people don’t have the education or patience to grow their hair out unless THEY LEAVE IT ALONE IN LOCS, BRAIDS, OR WIGS. Trust me my sister loved her hair but you would only see it on special occasions because it was LONG (down to her butt) and she kept it protected wearing braids and wigs!!! Black women get shit for their hair no matter what and I’m tired of it. It’s not self hating to straighten your hair, or get braids, or wear wigs, or even just feeling compelled “to do something” with your hair. I’m over people knit picking black women’s psychology based on their hairstyle!! We want variety and if we can’t achieve it naturally or simply don’t want to (low maintenance type) we purchase it… so what!!!

[@AlexisBii]

This part. This video is just nitpicking in a different format lmao

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Thank you!

[@coilycutie436]

While I see what you’re saying. I think you missed key parts of the video where she gives examples of how people perceive their hair, regardless of external validation. There is merit in her opinion of how black people, specifically women, don’t like their hair and how it shows in the language they use, what hair they wear to special occasions, the protective styles they get MAJORITY of the time Also about the long hair comment. Many culture marks hair growth as a sign of femininity, she’s pointing out how it’s counterintuitive for black people to measure growth in length and flowiness (usually downwards) and not in height and width

[@katythebeauty330]

Yea it’s like I see where she was going with this but there are some things I disagree with as well. Like when she said people get braids and wigs all the time like it’s a bad thing. I keep my natural hair in protective styles because I want to. Not everyone has hours in a week to take care of our natural hair. Idk what she’s talking about 😂

[@Lifeishard237]

@@coilycutie436people don’t perceive anything without external validation though. People largely believe things about themselves that they’ve heard or haven’t heard from other people. I don’t believe the majority of black women hate their hair, but the ones that do shouldn’t be judged for that because guess what society (mainstream media) tells black women it’s not “as” attractive while also simultaneously judging us for wearing weaves and wigs. I don’t really care what people say on the internet, I see what’s happening in real life and alot of black women that don’t like their hair it’s not for no reason. If it was praised more and coveted more we would like it more. Other groups of women are praised a lot more for their natural beauty than we are and that’s glaringly obvious. It’s partially a cultural issue (self hate) and largely a prejudice issue.

[@BigCrossVita]

Girl!!! You SPOKE! I've been natural since 2004. Tried locs for 6yrs and then another big chop in 2020 because this time around, I vowed to No Color, No heat. I've never been a wig girl but I used to OD on braids. It has been a STRUGGLE but my hair is longer and healthier than ever. My hair is 4c and I'm still learning how to properly moisturize and clip my ends but I've totally accepted that this is my hair and I'm done hiding it because it makes other people uncomfortable.

[@ladybird491]

You still threw in length so to get a thumbs up and the length makes you feel more comfortable having 4c hair. I notice 4c girls have to talk about their length and I find it is a low key way to say they keeping up with all other hair type that seem to always be seen with long hair.

[@BigCrossVita]

@@ladybird491 I shaved my head bald twice. My routine takes less time when shorter. This wasn't about glorifying long hair and more about healthy appreciation for the hair growing out of my head. I guess I just wanted to point out that even without heat or chemical, our hair grows. But regardless of the length, my hair will remain this texture because now, this is the texture I love the most. And not just on me, I love it on anyone I see ☺️🖤♥️

[@writervictoria]

​Yes you was, otherwise you wouldn't even mentioned it, you would have simply said you rock your 4c hair. Everyone knows people love to prove they can grow their hair long when it's 4c. Just cause you cut your hair short before don't mean you aren't seeking special attention for your long 4c hair.

[@ilovetemfo]

@@writervictoriamost women what to have long hair, why is that an issue? If hair is healthy wouldnt it grow long then? I see so many women who been natural for years and their hair is short and women who dont touch their hair and where wigs/boxbraids have long hair. I would say their hair is more healthy. How else would you measure how healthy ones hair is. You because your wear your hair out doesnt mean its healthy. So many ”naturals” with dry ass ends and hair that doesnt even grow

[@NinaAngelina25]

I BEEN saying this!! They only like 3c natural hair imo. They show no adoration for natural hair, yet they insist that we wear it. However when we do, they don't bat an eye. When we wear weave, they love it while pretending not to...just like they do with make-up. 🙃

[@ladybird491]

And it is toxic

[@Sparkle-ey7iw]

I’ll be honest…I just like that I don’t use relaxers because my hair is much healthier without it. I wear silk presses and braid outs etc to stretch the length. I love long hair and it looks better on me and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a different preference

[@copperwarrior]

How long do silk presses last? My hair is too big to wear as is everyday. I think pressing is still considered natural to me because as lil girls we either got hot comb or blow dried...and our hair flourished

[@Sparkle-ey7iw]

@@copperwarrior I get them once a month with a deep conditioner each time and make sure to keep my ends trimmed and healthy. If you wrap it or use rollers or flexi rods etc it will last. I also go months without heat or just wear blow dried styles. There are many “heat trained naturals” videos on KZbin that tell you how to have long healthy heat trained hair where your curls revert right back. One of my favorite on here was able to achieve waist length healthy hair

[@copperwarrior]

@@Sparkle-ey7iw thanks. ok because i only wash like once a month so that is good

[@woahaah6326]

My problem is thinking that our natural hair isn’t “done”. The amount of time people told me my hair isn’t “done” when it’s in a ponytail, Afro, or cornrows is annoying. Yes my hair is done, I combed/ part it and styled it… if I’m not walking around with messy doodoo braids,my hair is DONE.

[@ladybird491]

I cut off an x boyfriend over that. I notice when I wore my neat natural afro he would just stare for minute and not say anything but when it was twisted and coiled looking or silk press he would compliment it a lot. I realize he had self hate as a black man and ghosted him

[@ladybird491]

I combed my hair it is trimmed and so it's done.

[@chuusenberg519]

I love the dismantling of the “I bought it, it’s mine’ ‘argument’ it’s soooo cringe 😭😭😭

[@Highlove96]

Hi! I'm west African born and raised in Paris France. My mom was against me getting a relaxer and my parents always complimented my sisters and I 4c beautiful heads of hair. My mom never used hair extensions to do our hair. I really didn't grow up with a colonial mentality regarding my physical appearance. However, I have to say that what we call "wash and gos" are not considered as a hairstyle in West African cultures. Our ancestors have been braiding their hair for the longest time. You either rock short combed-out hair or designed hairstyle (braids, African threading,...). Me, personally, I know when my hair is not done. The same way I know when a white woman's hair is not done. In uni I would see classmates who clearly did not bother to take 30 seconds to brush through their 1b hair, lol. And I just could not understand why they would go out looking like this (especially considering the low effort it requires to get done). Anyways, all that to say, "having to" do your hair as a black woman is not always an insult. But yes, there's an obsession with curly hair. Also, even here in Paris black girls and women tend to say "black men don't like natural hair", I'm not light-skinned at all, wear visibly kinky hair, and never had any issue attracting black men's attention. If you walk around looking like you don't like yourself, maybe you'll attract people who do not like you...

[@BB-pv6cf]

This is such an insightful point!

[@really_joyce2452]

Reading through the comments, i feel everyone has touched on what i probably would have said but here goes nothing. I stopped relaxing because of scalp burns but I didn't actually start taking care of my hair almost 2 years later because I didn't know where to start + school stress. I got alot of help from KZbin and other social platforms to be where i am today. I actually don't care for people's compliments because of a bunch of reasons for example its terms from a place of comparison not pure appreciation for what i have and how i care for it, or because like you said my hair is long and grows fast. For me its not easy because of my very tender scalp but its not hard because I know what to do and I keep learning. I believe there are lots of reasons people directly/indirectly reject natural hair and I'm not going into that but I'll say what has helped me grow, stay natural and love being natural is surrounding myself with people who truly believe in the same thing I do in regards to natural hair and tuning out what people say that try to take away from that.

[@Bev4Drawing]

See when I was first starting out in the natural hair community, back in the early like 2008, it was all people with very short natural hair because we had all cut off because of all of the styling damage done from relaxers and hot combs. Everybody was rocking a TWA and we were learning how to take care of it. But as the community got bigger and bigger, there was a lot more focused on hair texture and there was so much comparison and now I don't even watch natural hair videos anymore because it's not an informational place where you're uplifted anymore. Now that corporations and money is involved it's even worse. There's only a few natural hair KZbinrs that I still watch and most are OG.

[@dongsicheng170]

They're not even trying to hide it anymore 😭 straight up be saying "i hate my 4c hair" like what?

[@ladybird491]

Whew! It is self hate wild wild West out here now.

[@trinitychicken3704]

Yeah, I'm really sick of seeing all the self hate posts.​@@ladybird491

[@silcoley820]

I love this video. it's so necessary. I cut my hair as I please now and every time I think of reaching for a wig, I think about the scratchiness and the suffocation of hair length and being perceived as a black woman. this is golden

[@sigh_yuri]

that feeling of suffocation is the number one reason i never became a wig girlie. i can’t imagine keeping it on at length, but i also can’t imagine having to put it on every day or being “caught without it,” so i just never wore them

[@QueenOfTheCoast]

After I saw that video of the black lady cutting the Asian girl’s hair..I knew it was time to drop the wigs

[@Woronoa]

Being black comes with too much problems, stress, and expectations

[@aesteriah]

that last line is so powerful. i love this video sooo much

[@kylewhittle6565]

This needs 500,000 views! The hypocrisy within the natural hair movement is unbelievable. Thank you for this highly informative post.

[@sercretunicorn]

i love how succinct and direct this video was! As someone who has had natural hair for years but just started rocking my 4c hair out...everything you said is true!

[@JEN-uh-fer]

I think long hair from any race is desirable & seen as more beautiful than shorter hair. Women from other races also have hair insecurities, this is not just a black thing IMHO.

[@ashaimani2720]

While that's true, no other race of women is buying the hair of another race of women to lay atop their heads.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

It surely isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with liking long stretched hair

[@DebraJohnson]

And wigs, adornments, and hair coverings aren’t new, either. Even men wore wigs in different cultures.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@pikapika399 our hair does do that (grow long) a simple blowdry shows the length but you don’t even have to use heat. You can keep it stretched by keeping it brushed and braided/twisted with clamps or rubber bands at intervals before you go to bed.

[@JEN-uh-fer]

@@pikapika399​​⁠long hair hair will always be seen as more feminine it’s just nature. Don’t listen to people who say that if you don’t walk outside with the exact same way your hair grows out of your scalp, then you’re insecure about being black it’s just rubbish. I mean literally most women doesn’t matter what race, will not go outside with wild hair. All women like to manipulate their hair to make it look a certain way its just a matter of personal choice. Keeping your hair stretched can help with length retention & breakage. I was able to grow my hair from neck to mid back length in 2 years. @DOLCEKAY-ny3ig gave good advice

[@StarlessTerrace]

It is so refreshing to hear someone speak this frankly about the problematic viewpoints that are being perpetuated about natural hair. Speak truth!!!

[@cyyrious]

I’m so sick of this conversation … being a person who wore her 4C twa since college in the mid 90’s… where most of women of my age group and younger wouldn’t dare wear a natural … the same people who are “queen natural” are the same women who talked crap when it was less desirable. Honestly I gives a “f” if you wear wig weave perm braids etc. I guess I’m just old I hate to admit it. We can’t front 4C is harder to deal with than the looser curl … period point blank… but I say I’m 2024 I hope people are over how people decide to wear their hair we have bigger fish to fry 🙄

[@cassw1234]

You are so right ! Time consuming and expensive as well. Even the protective styles are expensive! When I was younger I always felt pressured to wear my natural hair to prove a point that I don't hate my hair and that I have hair. When I would wear it natural due to all the gel, manipulation and me becoming lazy because of all the work my hair requires my hair would literally fall off. Since then I've decided I would never let anyone pressure me into wearing my natural hair to prove some point. I love my natural hair but it is difficult for me to handle and that's okay. I guess some people are hair persons and some aren't. I feel like everyone should really mind their business.

[@cassw1234]

Also in the winter my hair makes me sick !!! Even if I put the bare minimum of moisturizer the middle of my hair holds it and I'm sick 3x in one month. So no one is going to make me feel bad for wearing braids when they don't know the actual struggle I go through with maintaining my natural hair.

[@AlexisBii]

Amen!!!

[@ladybird491]

You do not have 4c hair, I see your hair in the pic. I have legit 4c, 4c hair usually don't have a high shine naturally nor very defined waves or curled and normally don't grow deep waved or while hanging. You are 4A my biracial daughter has your hair type. If you was 4c your hair would even have a very shrunk look even with a twist out.

[@ladybird491]

​@@cassw1234she doesn't have 4c hair, not in that pic she has.

[@heIIa]

ur the first person who actually hit every nail on this subject and didn't just spew out some entry level argument.

[@xXJade_AssassinXx]

Ofc we hate our hair. - Its high maintenance. Even with a routine down its 3x as more work in general than other hair types. -We dont know wtf we are doing Natural hair care is a mystery we are figuring out, in a population that had to resort to bacon grease in the old days because nothing else was really available. Our own hair is foreign to us still. - Still building up black beauty There is colorism chaos when it comes to black beauty standards. Dark skinned girls are still treated like subpar, brown girls get forgotten, and praise the lord if you're paper-bag or lighter, because you're the only black person who matters apparently. In all truth, its the "spotlight" effect. Thats when we think ppl care, focus or think of us more than they actually do. Very few ppl seriously care about your "nappy" hair; they're regurgitating conditioned thoughts if they do. I never lay my edges or define my curls - always get a passing compliment for my "ugly" category 4 hair. I stopped caring about how much I exist in people's minds. However, we have a very unique circumstance we are in with our hair, and its more frustrating than hate. We had to be slaves, face discrimination & social displacement, so we are learning who we are, while establishing our own identity in a place so opposite of who we are...on top of having high-maintenance hair, while being surrounded by women who just werent slaves, didnt face cultural displacement, grow their hair with ease, and are praised for existing, whilst we are put down for not looking like them. This isnt a matter of self-acceptance; its the birth of an entire ethnic group in totality. We are not African. We have some genetics. We are not American, we were brought to this place and had to adapt. The birth of a people. Our past was just the pregnancy term, now we're nearing a social delivery and labor isnt easy. Its not easy to love our hair, when as a people are still growing to love ourselves. We talk loud and confident, but we know the truth. We have to keep forcing our chins up and patting ourselves on the back. We are no strangers to constant invalidation. Use 2024 to nourish and grow. We have a new life and horizon coming together, as the ones paving the way for 100's of generations to come, who wont know that invalidation due to our hard work. You gave up before - dont give up this time on yourself and hair. Hard work. Its our fate apparently. We rest when we die.

[@Ari-jm6xx]

We're American.

[@xXJade_AssassinXx]

@@Ari-jm6xx Not meant to be taken literally via context as its referring being a "displaced" people.

[@Ari-jm6xx]

​@@xXJade_AssassinXx I understand, but we aren't displaced/orphaned either.

[@justapseudonym7]

I didn't hate my natural hair but I hated the maintenance as a low maintenance person. Even when I tried to be "low maintenance" by letting my afro be in it's natural state, I'd have to do something every night or it would get matted to my scalp. I would swap between protective styling and wash and goes. I finally found a happy medium through microlocs and I wish I'd gotten them sooner

[@fatimamanneh9432]

Yes microlocs are the best I have them for 4 years now started with braids

[@ladybird491]

I am getting locks again but doing the back combing method cause it's faster

[@latoshastanfield5523]

You are a fence sitter.

[@ShadesofSage]

I always say “why would God give us more/longer hair when we speak so negatively about it?” I grew my natural hair really long for years before I got my locs. My daughter now has locs too ❤️. I’m so glad she’s never seen me, her aunts, or her grandma with relaxed hair. Natural hair is all she knows and she loves it 🥰! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏿!

[@sequinify]

I absolutely adore your hair like this. I love when hair is (literally) natural. It's so attractive, youthful and cute.

[@sigh_yuri]

awwww thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[@nightcypha]

I got no foot in the game being a Black man that gets haircuts, but this was such a phenomenal breakdown in less than 5 minutes that it had me looking at past events and conversations about do I even like my own hair (which I do, I was just so taken back by the truth from this sistah). I’ll share this video with my wife and daughter who both equally love their natural hair and have never downplayed their texture, curls or spoke ill on the natural hair standard(s) of beauty. Great video, Ms Saiuri!

[@AlexisBii]

This take is way too focused on putting shame and judgment on black women and not nearly focused enough on the *why* behind our hair insecurity. We need to direct this type of energy to those in power who created and maintain anti-blackness, not the victims tryna survive in a society that hates their appearance. The message resonates with a lot of y’all because she’s preaching self love, but in the process she’s directing MORE anger, judgment, and shame towards our community, and shame ain’t gonna make anyone love themselves more. Be kind, have empathy, and remember what we’ve been thru ✌️

[@maboroshiiro]

Agreed! Not black, but I'm from Egypt and people similarly view textured hair as less than even tho most people here have wavy/curly hair. I recently saw a tiktok of a bride here who decided to wear her hair natural for her wedding (and it was absolutely stunning) and the majority of comments were shaming her bruh. I can't even begin to imagine how it is for black people with more textured hair than us...

[@ladybird491]

She is not shaming, she is calling it out. She called out people shaming our natural hair and she is aloud. She doesn't have to do a video topic that you prefer, you don't pay her YT bills.

[@AlexisBii]

@@ladybird491 I think you misunderstood my comment, I like that the topic is being discussed, we’ll never make any progress if we don’t address these issues especially the ones that have brought us down for literally hundreds of years. My issue is just with the direction of the frustration and lack of context in the video. Like of course some black women are negatively affected by anti-black beauty/hair standards but it’s not useful to put black women down even more because of that. And it sure as hell isn’t empowering We need to be criticizing and tearing down the Eurocentric beauty standard, not the people affected by it ✌🏾

[@Ebc1129]

Exactly!! ❤

[@fatimamanneh9432]

For how many generations are we going to use society hates our hair argument we have to love our hair regardless of what other people think wearing wigs or weaves until death isn’t something someone should want to do it is sad

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Stretching out your hair is how you protect your ends. Let’s get out of our emotions and the vanity and get into the SCIENCE of caring for coarse hair.

[@chantelbeavers6494]

Cuz when I don’t stretch my hair it gets tangled and matted and breaks off allot

[@bethadeniran7372]

Absolutely it's how I've retained my length, stretched and twisted up. Leave it alone

[@novi3252]

THIS LACKS NUANCE BECAUSE WE KNOW STREACHING HELPS BUT ALSO WE HAVE TO ADMIT A GOOD AMOUNT OF US DONT LIKE HOW IT LOOKS IN ITS SHRUKEN STATE! EVEN IF ITS JUST YOU GRAB SOME FOOD FROM A GROCERY STORE FOR 10 MINUTES IN ITS SHRUKEN SOME OF US WILL SPEND 40 MIN BLOW DRYING POINT IS AS MUCH YALL CAN THROUGH EXCUSES...VALID OR NOT... STOP GASLIGHT OTHER BLACK WOMEN THAT SEE THAT BS! A CRITICAL AMOUNT OF US DONT LIKE TO WEAR OUR HAIR IN ITS NATURAL STATE JUST THE STYLE IN THIS GIRL VIDEO

[@tmcurly]

I love to wear my hair in a stretch Afro. Stretched is how I retain length. If I I could I would not stretch and wear my shrunken Afro However my hair would form dreads. !!!😍

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@tmcurly Me too! My go to is the blowdry afro. It is so cute on me 🥰

[@CenoteDeAtabey]

Interesting.. no offense, but your approach to this is a bit "young". Incredibly not helpful to women who may be coming into their own with identifying and understanding and learning about their hair. 50 year old gen x'er who is just now understanding who I am with natural hair for the first time. In the end, you'll see it's more important to have 'agency' over your own body, and how you choose to express oneself that matters most in life. Having freedom to choose how to style it, NOT if you use gel 'flatten' your edges thus ignoring your true 'kink'. It doesn’t have to mean you’re denying your seminal heritage. You’ll see, when you watch this again for the 100th time years from now, you'll also hear in your voice forms of body shaming and acting within your own form of elitism.

[@AlexisBii]

Amen ✌🏾When you really listen to what she’s saying the intent seems to be to put down, not uplift.

[@MsDudette21]

also the fact we live in a society that shits on our hair, it's alot of work compared to other hair textures, and it can easily look unkept..i cannot blame other black women for using fake hair and what not. I am glad relaxers and such are less popular cuz chemicals can damage your hair and prevent it from growing again. at least with wigs u can take it out. I have locs and have had them for like 7 ish years now. its a great hairstyle and im glad im not feeling the hair pressure I did before. idc what other black girls do. just stay away from chemicals! lol

[@sintia12c]

Historically, African cultures rarely left their hair in its natural state as seen today. They recognized that the 4c hair type, known for its robustness and distinct texture, required special care. This understanding led to a diverse array of protective hairstyles, surpassing those of any other hair type. Wigs were even crafted to protect this hair type. The concept of being "natural" today differs from historical practices. Our ancestors consistently styled their hair, suggesting that the modern interpretation of 'natural' might not align with their standards. This difference might be why many find it challenging to embrace this hair type without self-persuasion.

[@kawi3013]

Exactly, and dont get me started on the girls on TikToks acting like: "oh i have it soo bad woe is me i have 4z hair, my 4z hair could never"💀

[@sigh_yuri]

every other time i go on tiktok where a Black woman is doing her natural hair the search is “6c hair” im like HELLO???

[@ihunanya589]

I went to a predominantly white high school in Italy, there were only 5 black students, and my class mates loved my Afro more than anything. But a black man once had the audacity to tell me that I should have braided my loose afro hair because I would have looked “more neat” and he would have preferred it that way… As if I cared about what he preferred. He was shocked that I was going to go outside like that. If there is something that I hate is the self hate and the projection, because how can you condemn the hair that grows out of my scalp and your scalp too?

[@nca4794]

I love what you said about outsiders being unable to differentiate between the hateful things we and others say about our hair. I've definitely experienced several mind f*ck moments throughout the years. It struck me that the lady in the video mentioned when and where natural hair is appropriate. The idea that natural hair isn't good enough for an event, but is fine for church had me so perplexed. People really tell on themselves in these Internet streets.😅🤦🏽‍♀️ There's a freedom that comes from not being tethered to hair. I hope we all get to experience that. Once there, you feel a self-love you never have before.

[@TheLeedeerod]

As someone who lost her hair due to chemo, NONE of this matters. Unless you perfect loving yourself regardless of anything, you’re hopeless… 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@ladybird491]

Just cause hair doesn't mean anything to you anymore don't mean it doesn't to others and shouldn't. No disrespect why attacks people who care about hair and the problems in the hair community when you using chemo to devalue the importance. That is like someone saying I have an obese gene so staying lean don't matter. Hair to some people is spiritual and apart of their culture. You are defining the importance of hair basically on your experience with hair loss and kinda using the compassion energy of others to get them to agree even when they don't. Everyone knows if you say you had chemo people think you had cancer and so that is emotionally hijacking which then takes control of other people emotional toward hair loss and devalueing their right to have an emotional connection to their hair and love for it. I have had miscarriage and I would never say as someone who lost babies having a baby don't matter.

[@overgrownkudzu]

You can't just say it doesn't matter though, there's real discrimination going on based on this, not just against black ppl in general but specifically black ppl who choose to wear their natural texture hair. it's also really unrealistic to expect of people esp women who grew up in a society where everything and everyone is telling them how to look that they don't care about it

[@tpuppy4224]

@@ladybird491 Well said…..

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Speak on it!

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@overgrownkudzu I don’t experience racial discrimination for how I wear my hair. My hair is coarse. I keep it clean. I keep it brushed and styled. Every now and then I wear an Afro if I’m getting ready to do braids the next day. No one says anything negative about my hair. And I’m from the South so… yeah the problem is black people

[@diamonda3253]

I have 4B hair. It’s earlobe length shrunken, mid neck length stretched, and shoulder length straight. I love my natural hair and I don’t need it any longer than it is because I like it like this. Crazily enough, when I’m around nonblack people, they love my hair too. When I’m around black people, all of the sudden “It’s hasn’t grown in a long time, omg it’s actually thin, the poofiness is an illusion, you should get braids”

[@ladybird491]

She was speaking of 4c any length, noone cares about length in this discussion. Lol

[@pinkdiamonds9137]

As a white woman, I LOVE seeing my black sisters wearing their hair natural! It’s so beautiful!! It makes me so happy seeing them embracing themselves and not trying to force themselves to fit racist, beauty standards. I have natural 3C hair and was made fun of so much growing up for it and my mother made me brush out, mousse and straighten my hair to make it look ‘not wild’. Insane. Curls are BEAUTIFUL! Black is beautiful!! 😍🥰

[@ladybird491]

3c hair don't even be called wild like 4c.

[@shaawii9590]

@@ladybird491lets not.

[@raregem8886]

@@ladybird491 As a white lady, 3c hair is not desirable by White society. So, let's not attack the woman! 3b-3c hair in the White community is the same as 4c in the Black community.

[@frostylucy]

i'm a black girl and i have 4c hair. I really like blonde and straight hair it looks very beautiful!!! Everyone says natural hair is beautiful but u don't know how difficult it is to take care of our hair 😢😢

[@pinkdiamonds9137]

@@frostylucy you’re so right! It is a lot more work and maintenance! I was a live-in Nanny for a Zimbabwean family and later, a Nigerian family and I had to learn how to care for and style natural hair; it was a very difficult process and very frustrating at times but my god, it gave me so much appreciation and understanding of the relationship experience that people of colour, especially women, have with their hair. I feel very grateful for having those experiences of being fully embraced into different cultures and families and learning more about the real life experiences in the world and hardships unique to people of colour, instead of just theoretical information. As well as all the beautiful and unique aspects, customs and traditions of each culture ❤️

[@chibaby800]

Thank you. They’ll say “I like natural hair” but only compliment me when I’m with my wigs

[@chibaby800]

@camille3083 yeah but then don't go out of your way making statements about liking natural hair when deep down you'd prefer most people in their unnatural forms. My real hair is short and if you don't like it then keep the "I like natural hair" talk to yourself and let people be. I'm specifically calling out people that criticize women for wearing wigs/extensions but are actually drawn to that instead of natural hair

[@Lifeishard237]

@@chibaby800I promise you if your hair was that long naturally they would say the same thing. It’s not about style it’s about length. My sisters natural hair was very long and she always got compliments on it. Didn’t matter if it was all over the place. Long hair is seen as more appealing to most people.

[@chibaby800]

@@Lifeishard237 “yeah if my grandmother had wheels, she’d be a bike” that’s still the point. My hair and most African women I know in their natural state don’t have long hair. There’s usually that one unique person with long hair that everyone compliments but it’s not the average length. If the expectation for getting compliments is having hair longer than it can be naturally then people don’t like natural hair (black African natural hair) they like the ones that are closer to the European look. Btw people might not even notice how long someone’s natural hair is until they straighten it or manipulate it in some way.

[@Lifeishard237]

@@chibaby800nobody has naturally short hair a lot of people just don’t have the education to know how to maintain length with their hair type.

[@nirvanaheights]

@@Lifeishard237😂😂 so you don’t think people can have short hair naturally? hello ms biologist, can i see your degree? this is too funny

[@Ace-dh6gj]

I’m currently 19, male and I’ll be completely honest. I love women’s natural hair, I love everything natural when it comes to women, no make-up, no extra add-on shit like extensions, wings, acrylic nails, etc. I always stood on the fact that natural beauty is by far the best beauty. Btw women with short hair are severally unappreciated 😭 that shit is so sexy

[@ladybird491]

BUT DO U LIKE 4C HAIR, THE SPEAKERS HAIR? MINE?

[@Ace-dh6gj]

@@ladybird491yes, it all depends on the woman in reference. I find some women who have long natural or even curly natural hair unattractive. Some women who wears wigs etc. Majority isn’t but some are(to me) Literally all depends on the woman… The type of hair she has is essentially just an add-on.

[@ladybird491]

Of course short 4c hair is sexy, it is easier to manipulate into being 4a, all it takes is a round soon brush and gel and work it in circle. I do not see any man running to talk to 4c girls with short hair that just picked their hair out and put moisturizer in it and walked around.

[@ElaishaJade]

I say this as someone who has been natural their whole life and only just started wearing wigs and braids as protective styles because I’m busy and tired 😂. It’s not as simple as “you don’t like how your hair grows out of your head”. Society doesn’t like it as a sign of our Blackness, under capitalism we do what we can to fit in and be safe, what we’ve done to fit in and be safe is now what is accepted by our own community and workplaces and if we step out of that then it is seen as strange or alternative. I’ve worn my hair naturally and in extension braids in many situations. I have the privilege of being comfortable in both and treated similarly with both. Not everyone does.

[@AlexisBii]

Amen. Is it OUR fault that natural hair isn’t embraced? No. Why should we take on the shame of being conditioned by society? Everyone else is too.

[@ElaishaJade]

@@AlexisBii That’s what bugged me about this take. Many Black women experience violence, discrimination, lack of attraction, verbal abuse all for our hair. Black women choosing to find safety through assimilation shouldn’t be placed on us to fix something “inside” when the problem started outside. People get fired for wearing their natural hair or not hired at all. May not have a romantic partner. May experience teasing and taunting. We didn’t create this problem. I believe we should rebel and love our hair and teach those around us to do the same. We should speak positively about our hair and care for it accordingly. This video is important but imo is addressed to the wrong people.

[@AlexisBii]

@@ElaishaJade Exactly!!! Thank you for putting words to it. The video and the anger / shame / disappointment needs to be directed to the people who CREATED the anti-blackness that made natural hair so disliked. We *should* embrace and love ourselves, but it’s not our fault and thus we do not deserve the shame.

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

@@AlexisBii it’s just like colorism. We will put down mixed women, dark akin black women and light skinned Black women but refuse to cut off the common denominator

[@ladybird491]

Weave is not needed for protective and wigs around. Braid your natural hair and put a scarf on it. I bet your weave is a lot longer than your hair, and so that is proof that you are wearing it also cause of its length. No wig is need to protect hair.

[@wsasi07]

I understand where she is coming from but I love all types of natural hair as long as it healthy!

[@thelying2594]

My mom not having much patience and having no confidence in her hair made me have none in mine. It's true. I do only like my hair big or long, probably because that's what everybody else wants. But one day in middle school my white friend adored the first time I quit styling it and had my fro and I was surprised, I said "But it's so messy?" He'd then say,"No, it's your hair out just like anyone elses. You just have a fluffy cloud!" However, it would take me a few years after this that I'd slowly stopped flatironing it because someone said my hair looked like a wig I realized I like it better when my hair looks like MY HAIR. I've started doing braids because when I was young, I thought they were a sign of unkempt hair, but now its one of my favorite styles, and I realized my bias was not for myself but others. Braids are great, especially with the skalp issues I have, but it is now my goal to finally take time to take care of it when Im ready to learn. I do still not like my natural hair fully but I strive to love it for myself and not for others

[@maplewing_]

I have very short, uneven 4c hair and Ill admit that alot of the care I try to put into it is care that would benefit other textures more than my own. I really needed this video and it was definitely a wake up call. Thank you so much!!! You spoke nothing but facts here!!

[@sigh_yuri]

if you’re looking for a video that can help get you on the right path, i have a wash day video with everything i do, as well as a bunch of stylists in the description that genuinely have this whole hair thing figured out ♥️♥️♥️

[@adams8830]

EXCELLENT video. Good job! I'm sick of people trying to gaslight black women who talk about this exact topic. They'll always say that you "hate black women" or some variation of that when you bring this up.

[@sigh_yuri]

phewwwwwwww the number of times ive seen this

[@madamepaka]

my personal favorites are "just say you hate black women and go🥴" or "it's giving pickmesha" smh

[@DOLCEKAYEXOTICAL]

Insulting other Black women based on how they choose to wear their hair is yet another form of self hatred. I refuse to associate my beautiful natural hair with such ugly sentiments and rhetoric

[@DebraJohnson]

I used to be a hair blogger and I wore my own natural hair in a wash and go like over 90% of the time for at least 7 years straight. I love my natural hair but I genuinely got bored. That’s why I started straightening, getting braids, and occasionally wearing weaves. I feel like we as black women are judged and criticized no matter how we wear our hair. A person wearing a “bust down” could be doing so for many reasons. I’ve had to go back to the office three days a week and I can understand women also deciding to style their hair a certain way for convenience. You didn’t say it in the video but you did imply that black women must wear a natural fro daily to prove we love and accept our hair. Hair trends come and go and it’s okay for black women to wear our hair however we choose to. This whole conversation is exhausting.

[@TexasGal.]

Is natural hair a “trend” though?

[@minna5486]

Theres nothing wrong with changing it up every once in a while if you get bored of your hair (people colour their hair all the time for this exact reason). It’s however a problem when wigs, weaves, braids etc are not a *choice* but become *mandatory* to be considered presentable and/or beautiful.

[@AlexisBii]

I’m tired of having to prove goddamn points with my daily appearance. There’s more to life fr

[@cinnacinnamonrollgirl]

no its just weird how we are the only race of women who refer to the hair that grows out of their hair as “natural” hair. And ppl are noticing the pattern of self hate it is clear we are not confortable in our blk skin because if we were the wig industry wouldnt be a billionaire industry.

[@cinnacinnamonrollgirl]

whats even funny yall make excuses that i wanna try something different but when i go online all i see is wig warriors. To the point where yall think that cap is ur hair. Nothing wrong with wigs its just alot of the time yall wear straight and wavy wigs trying to emulate others but lie to urselves about it. Dont act surprised when non blk wmn say ur tryna look like them. Even the way we are represented in media shows: biracial wmn are the face of blk wmn. and when there is a blk wmn shes rarely ever wearing her natural hair. I dont understand how aine blk wmn would rather have a a lace with goofy edges on rather than their natural hair

[@AKsArtDesignLife]

I think black women in general need to be kinder to each other irregardless of hairstyles, i get dirty looks whatever hair style, natural or not.

[@lnyawilliamsmoore]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@katythebeauty330]

“You don’t use relaxers but you still don’t wear your natural hair. You rely on braids and wigs and silk presses.” It’s sad that black women are policed for what we do and don’t do with our natural hair. Just let people do what they want it’s really not a big deal. The thing I love about our hair is that we have the versatility to do different styles. Sad what we even get judged for wanting a protective style or to wear our hair in a different way.

[@justonetime6179]

Exactly. Some people just like to complain. I say wear whatever hairstyle you want… it’s your head and hair.

[@ladybird491]

she clearly said THEY ARE ATTACKING people with natural hair or giving dirty looks. Why CAN'T THE WEAVE AND WIG GIRLS LEAVE US ALONE, JUST GO AND WEAR THEM AND STOP GIVING US DIRTY LOOKS AND TALKING CRAP.

[@Imjesshere]

@@ladybird491they’re not attacking us, lol. Just because some women are spiteful and hateful, doesn’t mean all of us are

[@kuenythiluang25]

Individuality above all else in my book.

[@solomonrivers5639]

There’s nothing I enjoy more than hearing an impassioned speech covering an issue I had never even thought about before