Solution of fight between parents and children | Sadhguru | Isha Foundation

[@priyadarshiniramalingam8477]

I don't know when this change but I swear I won't let my kids face this problem I'll be a good parent as well as a friend for them.

[@pantologist2216]

Life will not be the way you want... So please be flexible and hope lesser so that you dont get dissappointed

[@anirudhhattangadi3534]

This is the reason why I gave up idea if raising children

[@nathakhandi4078]

@@anirudhhattangadi3534 I'm sorry to say but when we leave something thinking about the chaos it will bring in our lives, this amounts to an act of cowardice. Be brave.

[@aarthishetty2214]

Every person thinks same ,but generation gap is always there

[@SydMountaineer]

Your intentions are good, but remember that we all end up doing things that are damaging to our children in some way, unknowingly, that we do not intend. In other words, I'm saying that good intentions is not enough, and do not always mean things will work out well, but good intentions is a good start. Life is odd that way. One of the problems is generational stuff that our society ignores and we don't learn any different until we are older, (some people never learn before they get old & die) so when we have kids, we are usually in our 20s or 30s, and due to the fact that our culture/society has not taught us how to learn about & take care of ourselves emotionally, spiritually, etc, so by that age, we are still dealing with our own problems from childhood and all of the unhealthy stuff that was downloaded into our brains when we were kids (also done unknowingly by our parents & our society) and likely have not even yet identified what they are, due to the society we live in not teaching us, for many generations, the important things in life, so we have not even figured out our own problems yet, much less healed & learned from it, so we unknowingly pass things along to our children that are negative, even damaging.

[@youchannel5176]

I be friendly with my parents but as soon as we discuss anything where opinions differ some parents cannot handle that and start undermining you... the parent is less likely to ever accept there is a better way to do things

[@akankshanegi5611]

A child since his childhood try to find friend in his parents..he shares every small or big aspects of his life..parents pretend to b a frnd by giving ear to their child, in return they give him suggestion out of their experience, child listen it..now which parent wouldn't like if their child is sharing his words with them..they feel proud about their parenting, that their child shares things with them. But when time comes and the same child develop his moral reasoning..his thought process and desire ..then parents stop listening to them but expect the child to listen them only. Now it has become one way road. If a child is going against their will, they feel aghast that how this child is no more listening to them. We have to release ourselves from this kind of parenting, where parents are in constant pressure of being a good parents only if their children obey or follow them in every aspect. Elsewise they pity on themselves by considering them a failed parent for raising a failed child. That agony through which a child suffers, cant be explained. He is clueless where he has gone wrong in gaining his own sense of understanding. As a parent, we should stop expecting too much and stop over thinking that our children will see the world through our eyes only. Give them freedom since childhood to decide themselves whats wrong or not.

[@bisckuttalks]

Ya

[@bisckuttalks]

Ri8

[@bisckuttalks]

I feel to left home

[@Eucalyptus-g5n]

Absolutely right . This is the scenario in our house right now . The moment I do a mistake, both my parents emotionally abuse me , it's like they have been waiting for that . The way they behave I feel very sad not for me but how they r suffering in their own emotions energies and all without knowing how to control or keep in check with their emotions . That's why I keep calm and feel sad for themselves, thinking how much emotional abuse they went through to show that all to me , they r used to it , and they want me also to get used to it and live in misery which they named it a success . For my parents it's etched in their minds that without stressing, without hardwork , without tension , and without hurry and crying and suffering mentally there won't be their so called success for me . They say u can be whatever they want but the way they behave is not like that . Their words r different and their actions r different . I know I am evrything to them , but really they themselves r confused , they say if u have any problems come to us we will give suggestions . But when I do they scold me for my problems . And I dont share my real problems . Or sufferings because they themselves don't know how to handle it , how will they give me suggestions ? My parents r so mentally unstable pyscologically I feel for them .

[@ashokkanade9582]

Parents just irritate you , I study very hard still they have problem that whenever I am resting or taking my time want me to do there work , even if I do there work they say I don't help , like really

[@mkhanswal]

Srsly same here🤦

[@baliramshinde4178]

Exactly same here 🙂

[@notavailable708]

😂😂😂😂😂 I've read comments and seems like everyone has same problems bro

[@visshnupriya498]

Same here they expect us to replica of them it's not far .we are doing the things wath they expecting but when would do things what really means to us

[@youchannel5176]

Some parents can be very toxic without ever realising it...

[@mkhanswal]

I tried this out🤦🤦 mom seriously told me to tell her whatever I do ...n I literally listened to her n told every thing on a daily basis finally a day came when me along with my friend circle wanted to got to a jungle camp..our clg time is long enough (9hrs) so everyone was bunking the clg ...but me being stupid jerk told her and she refused 🤷 the final thing I asked was Abhi nai jau to ye btao kab Jane Doge? (I'm 18+ and in 2nd yr of clg) her answer was after marriage 💔. Nevermind I'm never gonna tell her anything again...! I tried every possible logic to explain her ,but believe me she gave illogical reasons as if why I shouldn't go🤷 parent's should be concerned I understand but they shouldn't me controlling and shouldn't be descrimnative ...! 💔 Never gonna have any friendship bond with them again.

[@Cutiepimmpy]

Yar hamesha ye parents marriage ko kyu bech mai la dete hai 🤦‍♀️ Marriage aur jo cheez ham batate hai us ka koi lena dena nahi.

[@nkaur8362]

My story is just similar to you not exactly on this thing but some other things She answer do ur degree and after that after marriage u will be the responsibilty of ur husband then do whatever u want . Like seriously this is the life of girl whole life we keep on just listening everybody cant do anything of our own .. i wish i may get a husband who understnd me and will not be dominating but understnding , respectful and loving

[@srijavinodh204]

We may say this as a daughter or son but believe me u will do the same thing for your children because outside world is too polluted for a mother to leave her child unattended. Anyway be happy always.

[@SydMountaineer]

People can change, so don't give up on your parents, don't limit your possibilities - they just haven't learned about themselves yet, and might learn someday, but even if they don't, that is okay, you are not responsible for what they do or don't do, but it does not mean you cannot have a good relationship with them. The issue you're dealing with now will likely not be important to you later. You cannot control others, and they cannot control you, not your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors, no matter the words said. Don't allow what they did to dictate your possibilities in life, which includes having a good relationship with your parents in the future. Remember what Sadhguru says about making conclusions. The fact is that nothing ever stays the same, everything changes, so do people, so you & your parents will both be different people in time, and limiting your possibilities is only hurting yourself, and think about how it might affect other family members or future generations. Just because your parents behaved in a certain way does not mean that you should do something that would also negatively affect your family, don't allow that.

[@sunshinegirl563]

My mother and I used to be friends now when I tell her she is crossing my personal boundaries she starts attacking me and saying I should get out her house but it’s our house because we signed the lease together. When I’m sleeping she will barge in to my room at all hours of the night and she will do the same to my brother who struggles with school and is still a minor. Then she says she wants us to have a healthier life. She knows I’m on Ayurveda diet and I have to store things a little differently than American household but she will constantly ruin my food putting in the fridge or microwave. My solution: I remember I am here for my brother not for her. I don’t engage in any argument and try to stay away from her as much as possible. I’m leaving ASAP and my brother will be able to live with me if he chooses.

[@Mochi.mochi.icecream]

Some people don't change. it's emotionally hard but worth it. good luck to you.

[@WhySeeF]

I hope things get better now for you. =)

[@sunshinegirl563]

@@WhySeeF Things are actually better thank you 💗 She is much more pleasant in the house now that she can move forward with her business

[@WhySeeF]

@@sunshinegirl563 glad to know that! 😊

[@ridhimachowdhary4562]

Even though I tried to become they're frnd.. They start bossing up again n again.... It's not helping... My mom says "mene paida kiya ha mera hi chalega... Aur tumko mana padega jo hum khete ha"

[@dynamicd7302]

It actually happens... Parents don't try to be friends and when children try.... It also fails ...really.... This doesn't work also.. Some people don't really change

[@prime367]

@@dynamicd7302 no it doesnot fails man...it failed in your case because your parents didnt accept you as a friend from the bottom of their hearts! they still had that bossy attitude in their minds

[@drjayabharathithangaraj6903]

It's their brains which is wired that way, lack of empathy that they have is causing such attitude of superiority or being Bossy, U just try, try hard, to stay calm & only in your mind say to yourself "This too shall pass 😊 I am not here to change them" (anyways by them changing, we don't get back our childhood) So live in the 'Present Moment' 👍

[@Pheonixia]

Maine to bol Diya...kai paida hi kyu kiya fir... To Bolne Lagi... Ab tu ye paida karne ka nikalegi kya 😂😂😂

[@visshnupriya498]

Yess

[@simranjha7207]

But what if they say that, what's the comparison between you and me ? What if before completing the talk or argument peacefully, they start shouting or start showing ur mistakes done in past ?

[@kaminigupta4386]

We don't dare to argue with them. After all we don't have emotions and feelings

[@SydMountaineer]

If someone starts shouting, they are reacting to an emotion, not the situation at hand, so they're in no condition to be logical, they are thinking with their amygdala part of their brain rather than the logical part of their brain, frontal lobe, so continuing a discussion with them while they're that emotional is not going to work - no matter what logic is given, it will not make sense to them. Effective discussions can only happen when people are not so emotional and using their logical brain, not their emotional brain, because they will fight, flight, or freeze. If they start talking about mistakes of the past, this is a sign that they are reacting emotionally rather than logically, so they might be avoiding dealing with the present issue, it's either avoidance of the topic at hand, or they might be trying to point out reasons for their decisions. Bringing up the past is like playing the blame game, blaming or bringing up who did what in the past is avoiding the subject at hand - nothing can be solved if someone is avoiding talking about the present subject. They need to figure out why they are reacting emotionally, it feels very real when people are in this state, it happens to us all.

[@its_Yashu_Patil]

Yes sir after 14 who want partner ❤️🙏👍

[@poojapatwal6525]

My parents fucked me up. I keep loving them and they keep fucking up. I just hope whatever I'm working towards works and I can finally stay away, far far away . I cannot be abused anymore. My parents feel good being the boss of my life. Only problem is they fucked my life in the process. I let them fuck it actually because I'm so confused. Am I allowed to say no to my parents?

[@vyshnavikrishnapriya3438]

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏i

[@worldisone8282]

I hate my parents and my life

[@SydMountaineer]

Do not allow anything on the outside of you affect how you feel about your life, what's on your INSIDE is important, and is what WILL define you, and what will affect everything you do and become. You will only learn lessons from this that will help you & others in the future, do not allow it to hurt you. It's good that you recognize what is wrong in your family, if you did not recognize it, you would go on without knowing, and pass it on to your kids, but Don't allow anyone or anything to define you - you are a life, separate from everything else, and you have the ability and the tools to know yourself, You are not a situation or emotion, and you are not defined by the behavior of others - it's only emotions and behavior, which is separate from you, as a life. Sadhguru has other videos on what it means to be YOU. Your parents likely have good intentions, they were likely not taught or shown certain things by their parents, keep that in mind. But don't hate your life, the world needs you - what if people like Sadhguru hated his life and believed that something outside of him defined him? He would've never planted trees and made the environment so much better, and he would not be helping people right now. You have control over yourself and your behavior. The world needs you to love your life, so do so regardless of whatever happens on the outside, what's important is what's on the inside. Use the many tools that you have, Sadhguru shows us the tools we have, learn more from him. We are all connected to everyone & every single thing in the universe, we are all parts of a whole and work as a system, so what negatively affects you will cause negative things for others and the environment around us all, so it's important for you and everyone else to not feel like you hate your life, you have the ability to make your life wonderful, so use them! Use your mind, that's what it's there for.