You Don't Actually Need a Menu

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Rekha and Grant are living in a fantasy world of new food choices, meanwhile Brennan hasn’t looked at a menu in 24 years.
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KATIE: / katiemarovitch
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RAPH: / chestangraphael
REKHA: / rekhalshankar
BRENNAN: / brennanlm
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CAST
Brennan Lee Mulligan
Mike Trapp
Grant O'Brien
Rekha Shankar
CREW
Director - Carmen Angelica
Writer - Brennan Lee Mulligan
Producer - Bridgett Greenberg
Production Coordinator - Annie Humphreville
Director Of Photography - Cooper James
Production Designer - Rick Mader
Sound Mixer - Ryan Bertolami of Botown Sound
HMU - Denise Valentine
Editor - Sam Geer

[@dropout]

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[@AxxLAfriku]

WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! Let me get this perfectly straight: You comment something that is completely unrelated to the fact that I have two HAZARDOUSLY HOT girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest KZbinr worldwide, it is really incredible. Yet you did not mention it at all. I am VERY disappointed, dear CollegeHumor

[@robashton8606]

Never mind that. What, pray tell, is General So's? I ask merely for information.

[@dogface6902]

Hey college humor! Love your skits!

[@kriskropd]

They didn't have dumplings.

[@biribobili]

If the meals have numbers, there must be a menu. Brennan knows every menu.

[@karutaroromiya9349]

“So what you order the same meal every time?!” “I order the BEST meal every time” See this guy gets me

[@gatheringstormgaming9061]

When he said Pud See Euw for Thai I knew he was right, that shit is delicious no matter where you get it from

[@edslushie570]

Tom Kha over Rice Noodles

[@josephbenson3284]

Same. I always know what I want the minute I walk into a restaurant.

[@greygalaxy8638]

YES.

[@thepretentiousgentleman]

Lone Star - Steak Fajitas with extra peppers. Every time.

[@BioYuGi]

I absolutely agree with Brennan's point here, but the true evil is ordering from a place five minutes before they close.

[@DirkLasermaster]

Yeah, sometimes it can't be helped. homie's hungry

[@ManaPirate]

That's the point of a closing time though... You close at a certain time so you can clean after, you should absolutely be taking orders until then (Seated meals are different)

[@horsecrazypeep101]

I mean yes I can think of one Chinese meal I usually like but it’s not like I have the entire menu memorized. I guess needing a menu before 4 minutes closing time would be ridiculous though…

[@lavender4471]

@@ManaPirate was gonna say, long as it’s a pickup they can throw it together real quick and hold it WHILE they clean. Brennan’s not being THAT terrible here

[@jakeking6451]

@@ManaPirate I can tell you as a person that works at a restaurant the minute that the restaurant closes the staff is expected to be at most 5-10 minutes until the kitchen is clean and everyone is clocked out

[@michiyoendou858]

I work at a Chinese restaurant and I am scared at the fact that I know exactly where every order that he said is on the menu and that we do, in fact, have all that.

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

I feel like you will get a kick out of this. Something my sister would do on occasion is walk into a fast food place, point at the menu behind the cash registers, and ask for something that they don't serve. Like spaghetti from McDonalds. She got them to look at the menu in confusion 100% of the time I saw her do it.

[@michiyoendou858]

@@Blasted2Oblivion That is genius.

[@Ikxi]

@@Blasted2Oblivion but why?

[@ygrid1493]

@@Ikxi why not ?

[@zap4th368]

@@ygrid1493 CHAOS REIGNS!

[@iamacatperson7226]

I think we can all agree these people are just evil for ordering 1 minute before closing time

[@jadeyu7197]

yip

[@yvngp00t96]

Would have been 5 minutes had they just said what they wanted!

[@ocdtrekkie]

On the contrary, what's really evil is that businesses post a "closing time", not a "last call time", such that customers have to guess at what time it would or wouldn't be rude/evil to place an order. That's just bad business. Post the last time a customer can walk into your store or sit down or place an order. I once tried to walk in to my local grocery store, five minutes before closing, to buy something sold at the register, something that takes no time. But they had locked all the doors before closing, wasting my trip and requiring I move around my schedule the next morning... even though I would've completed the transaction in less than five minutes. Companies should post the last time they accept new orders, and they should be happy to receive them up until that time.

[@yvngp00t96]

@@ocdtrekkie no

[@ocdtrekkie]

@@yvngp00t96 Why not? There's no rule that says a company has to publicly post the same closing time as it's employees are supposed to clock out. If your employees' shifts end at 9 PM, set your closing time to 8:30 PM. At 8:29 and 55 seconds, customers should feel free to come in and browse, and your employees shouldn't be bothered by it, because their shift doesn't end for another half hour. If you hit closing time at 8:30 PM, there's nobody in the store, great, your employees have time "after hours" to clean up the place, take care of mundane maintenance, or whatever, before they clock out on-time at 9 PM.

[@Mar-wp5tl]

"You're insane!" "ONE MINUTE!" He didn't deny it.

[@dreamwalker4723]

Maybe. But at least he knows what he wants.

[@jackrabbit4588]

Does he have to say he’s right no matter what

[@David-yq4yn]

Marder Alder He didn't agree ether

[@nicholashayes5773]

No time to argue that's why.

[@YananLiAsura]

Brennan is not insane. Insane is Brennan.

[@rheawelsh4142]

I think the best part is that Brennan knows the numbers, implying he knew the menu beforehand and he was just trying to prove a point

[@TraderRager]

he know the menu through his mind's eye

[@tudorjason]

True, but what if they changed it?! Brennan didn't wait for confirmation. Who knows they'll get their order! I'm freaking out right now!

[@79iGEL]

In contrast to most, Brannon is aware that every Chinese menu has the same items, with the same numbers and the same price. Just the order and the layout differs.

[@bennypika3575]

he hadn't look up chinese menu in 20 years! like didn't number sometime change over years?

[@pendragonfan42]

@@bennypika3575 can't fix what ain't broke

[@diggerydillin9385]

What I fucking Love about this sketch is Brennan’s character, who usually has a subtle build from rational to batshit insane, just jumped from 1-11 with a brick on the gas pedal. This might be one of my favorites.

[@annebruecks7381]

Well, he only had 5 minutes 🤣

[@StudlyHunk]

Trapp's character also have the same trope. Only difference is Brennan after gone angry he is angry-angry while Trapp angry is usually confuse-angry

[@aidcrazysol738]

I want to frame this comment

[@literallyapenguin7576]

I'm not so sure that's a character

[@TheOpposite22]

Well he does say that 2 moods is enough for anyone

[@nickmalachai2227]

0:52 This is the only time Brennan looks at a clock. After that point he relies on just knowing the time. Mate's consistent, I'll give him that

[@Telerian3]

He could have glanced at his phone. Considering he had the restaurant on speed dial. Or been looking at the menu on Google maps the whole time.

[@nickmalachai2227]

@@Telerian3 the phone is perpetually out of his eyesight and iirc Google maps didn't do the menu thing until after this video was released.

[@jesterd.growlithe62]

Except the clock is out of batteries... So that disproves Brennan's point. It is better to check the menu rather than assume.

[@ianthered9283]

“You order the same meal every time?” “I order the best meal every time!” Literally me ordering anything

[@Drewb18c1]

That line killed me haha

[@allyb3510]

Lol me too I know what I want when I want it. If I go somewhere new I’m gonna have a bad time

[@arrgghh1555]

There is no best meal, only variety. I order different things every time. Also what kind of restaurant doesn't change their menu periodically?

[@ianthered9283]

Arrgghh, your Nobel Prize is in the mail

[@ana-maria8350]

Arrgghh what kind of restaurant does change their menu periodically? I mean sure they might add new things from time to time or take a meal out, but the menu remains mostly the same

[@3p1cand3rs0n]

Brennan is the kind of guy who will eat sushi with a fork in public, and if you call him out about it, he'll order soup and eat it with his bare hands just to teach you a lesson.

[@CharalamposKoundourakis]

Now I want to see that.

[@Rainaman-]

Do Indians eat soup with hands tho?

[@anousenic]

Boiling soup nonetheless!

[@ArturGlass.C]

I'm so scared of him

[@farkbett699]

@@ArturGlass.C you should be

[@khajiitimanus7432]

Brennan is genuinely a genius. "A genie grants you 3 wishes." "World's greatest sorcerer, a new magic lamp, freedom of the first genie." The perfect circumvention of the infinite wishes rule, and its ethical to boot. edit: Why is everyone throwing "would be better" criticisms when I'm fucking quoting someone else's idea??? I don't own Brennan's words y'all. If you want to share your _idea_ for an improvement, then make certain you clarify that it is conveyed as an idea for a debate, and not a random rambling argument. It's kind of dick-ish to be pulled back to this thread with most people responding as if Brennan's response was my own. I said he was genius, not foolproof. At the very least, doing the courtesy of the above would allow me to better decide whether I respond as a polite debater or just ignore ya.

[@funveeable]

You would get a Las Vegas magician, an antique lamp from my souvenir cupboard which has no genie, first genie goes free and trolls you for the rest of your life.

[@khajiitimanus7432]

@@funveeable First - "a new _magic_ lamp" Either it has a genie, or it is in some other way, magical. Second, implication is that Brennan would wish, "I wish to be the world's greatest sorcerer." This means that, if the genie screwed him over, he's not really the world's greatest sorcerer, now is he? It breaks one of the wishes.

[@voluntaryneet9813]

@@khajiitimanus7432 Well there is the fact that since sorcery isn't real, the genie could just give him the tiniest amount of power to make even a small fireball and he could still call it a day. Since, technically, at that point he would be the world's greatest sorceror.

[@khajiitimanus7432]

@@voluntaryneet9813 Fair.

[@jazzwell]

@@voluntaryneet9813 I mean, the genie exists, doesn't he? I feel like the Genie counts as a sorcerer, so "world's greatest sorcerer" would be somebody more powerful than the Genie

[@sgg3586]

Just gotta say, the lighting in this scene (especially the placement of that lamp to fit the scene) is just spot-on! Brennan's face looks gradually more intense/unhinged as the sketch goes on and he gets closer to the lamp on the table. Whoever did the visual details on this scene is in need of praise.

[@codeender5980]

probably brennan again lol

[@greenredblue]

Holy crap I never even noticed the lighting was diegetic.

[@johnandrewserranogarcia7223]

I know I'm late but this menu episode and the "don't trash talk new york" episode are Brennan's most impressive performance.

[@forresttrunn]

2:25 - "A Genie grants you three wishes --" "World's Greatest Sorcerer, a new magic lamp, freedom for the first genie." That was f*****g solid. Well done.

[@MrNb22]

Just saw Aladdin, could have been resolved in 10 minutes if this guy got the lamp.

[@skyscreeper5637]

wow.

[@CountCockula]

Since no one in the world is a sorcerer (assuming this is in the exact same non-magical world except this ONE genie exists and is the only thing magical and also genies aren't counted as sorcerers) then its a stupid wish since the genie could give him one really shitty magical power (eg. the ability to move small amounts of dust with his mind or anything else that is barely magical and can't possibly be useful) and he would still technically be the world's greatest sorcerer. We also know that genies love a good ol' loop-hole when it comes to wishes so the genie would almost certainly literally do this rather than going by what he obviously meant with the wish. But then again, he could use a wish with the new genie to fix that once he realised his mistake so maybe I just wasted my time writing that...ah well I know its the sort of technical thing Brennan would appreciate

[@Rwdphotos]

Possibly the best infinite wishes loophole yet

[@manz848]

Brian Eno yo no way I thought the exact same thing I was like well since no one is a sorcerer he would be the best of the worst beacause no one can do it

[@marksilla8276]

Are we all ignoring the savagery Reika pulled on her birthday invites?

[@sarahasbury6608]

She doesn"t want them at her party bc they gave her crap for having a birthday month on year XD

[@forman208]

Why does someone say savage in every single comment section lol, that shit is mad lame

[@jj-yz9sg]

forman208 you talk too much

[@jadeyu7197]

SHE DID PULL THAT ONE REAL QUICK HUHUHUHU

[@luminatron]

@@forman208 *You* are mad lame.

[@luciadante8620]

"Grant, if you wanna live up in some fantasy world where you can make new and exciting decisions, be my guest" and he says that as a matter of facts without even enjoying how savage it was. How can you not love him

[@torpedex4600]

The fact that Brennan knows the numbers for each order means he’s memorised the menu and could answer all their questions about what food they have. So the whole sketch is actually him being super petty to prove a point and I love it.

[@olandir]

Or...he's so certain that all Chinese menus are inherently the same that he memorized the menu for one of them 24 years ago (or 28 now?) and just ordered off of that internal memory, which is a very Brennan thing to do.

[@gnoki2817]

Or... They always end up ordering the same things there anyway so that's all he needs to know XD

[@mariichan3337]

*AS GOD ABOVE AS MY WITNESS THEY WILL HAVE DUMPLINGS* Most iconic line ever.

[@mehrabed6204]

This is my favorit part too

[@tamarlambert6121]

I wanted to like this comment, but it has 444 likes, and I don't want to mess up that perfection

[@FireDavio42]

The arm movements are what sell this part so hard.

[@Loki1191]

@@tamarlambert6121 now it has 600 can't destroy that either

[@CyberBlastoise]

The Chinese restaurant I order at typically has about a 50/50 shot at having dumplings. They are so popular they get sold out.

[@Maria-mh6mw]

"AS GOD ABOVE IS MY WITNESS, GRANT. THEY WILL HAVE DUMPLINGS!"

[@JoshuaJob]

This is definitely my favorite line. The exasperation is palpable.

[@aldogbark]

Amen

[@soshiangel90]

I really wanted them not to have dumplings

[@kerielwatson3197]

My Local Chinese doesn't have dumplings. XD

[@muhammadsmith5792]

My graduation quote

[@thebfg37]

I love when after brennan says “try me” and they start interrogating him he isn’t looking any of them in the eye. He’s just staring off into the distance. Idk, little things like that just crack me up sometimes.

[@aguyontheinternet8436]

He's looking in his minds eye to construct the great menu

[@katekyojp6338]

Plot Twist: He's also the CEO of that chinese restaurant

[@samueldupuis1468]

He's the CEO of every restaurant

[@aaronmince]

He's the CEO of EVERYTHING!

[@samikami3206]

@@aaronmince nah, just the CEO of Comedy

[@benjaythewhite]

@@samikami3206 Hello Internet, my name is Albert Wok.

[@f.i.r.e.5119]

"We need a #1 a #3 a #5 a #7 a wonton soup and a egg roll for pickup thank you so much _have a great night."_ He didn't even freaking pause for breath... I need to try that.

[@notmakingcontent]

Just imagine if the order wasn't everything they all wanted.

[@donovanchase6086]

@@notmakingcontent it's all they need.

[@michaelrogers6404]

My question is how did he know which order corresponding to which food item without looking at a menu? 🤔

[@tudorjason]

And the people on the other end of the line or conversation will hate you for it.

[@kahls7306]

@@michaelrogers6404 when you order chinese (or anything) from the same place enough times, you know what the things are called. For me it's month menu B and an eggroll everytime, has the exact things I want

[@ScoopMeisterGeneral]

Brennan sounds louder when he's talking than when he's yelling.

[@windmacher]

yeah the lips did not quite sync. maybe they messed with the mastering.

[@ScoopMeisterGeneral]

@@windmacher I think a lot of it's just to do with Brennan's actual voice.

[@cls63amgwagon34]

maxim menage they definitely did

[@Psychol-Snooper]

Indoor yell.

[@theillusionist1494]

I think that means he yells SO LOUD that they overcompensate with bringing it down in the editing, which is hilarious to me

[@armando7682]

"Grant, if you want to live out in some fantasy world where you make new and exciting decisions be my guest..." Brennan of Dimension 20

[@zompocalpha1]

Lol true! It sound more like a real invite.

[@efbless]

When you put it that way, it's kind of sweet!

[@emorydaniel9084]

"You have a cheeseburger for breakfast?!" "GLADLY" That's the kind of food freedom I'm all about

[@zap4th368]

damn right.

[@Nckolas20]

Facts. I've done it. Breakfast of champions

[@BrickBoy1894]

“What if you’re not in the MOOD for a cheeseburger?!”

[@Silverwind87]

@@BrickBoy1894 Eggs and cheeseburger are also my two moods for breakfast.

[@BrickBoy1894]

@@Silverwind87”So you only have two moods, is that it?!” XD

[@renskedunnewold1995]

Sometimes I throw in a little "uuhhh" when I order at fast-food places, as if I'm not about to order the exact same thing as always.

[@killersissam09]

This is me in a nutshell

[@Axeloy]

ooh saucy

[@canIgetsubyourthebest]

And after you say that you go uuummmm if you feel spicy

[@tropicalpolarbear872]

You are the bane of every cashier’s existence.

[@proudbeaner696]

They know once you say " Umm ", that you will order something that you usually get there . They aren't stupid and pathetic like you

[@renstatedelvismc]

Hiring Brennan as a cast member was probably the best decision CollegeHumor has ever made

[@royce9018]

They needed the help rather badly, he was lifesaving!

[@honeydale5816]

I have a feeling hiring Brenan for anything ever would be one of the best decisions for the hirer.

[@clumsypanda7433]

​@@honeydale5816 Hires him as a crypto advertiser

[@johnstamos75]

“I knew it, you slime.” The writing is too good

[@muraddiab6393]

It’s so cool how easily Brennan’s little laugh at 0:29 sets the tone for the entire video

[@revamahajan1279]

Brennan is the best at playing angry, high-strung characters

[@Platypi007]

"Brennan is the best." FTFY

[@alastorlapid2365]

He's very good at being the only sane and reasonable person also. The CEO series asserts that.

[@richardlindquist709]

“Playing”

[@fairyscout4255]

Gilear doee

[@seansilence2697]

Angry, high-strung, but also usually the most logical lol I could and would watch him rant about anything

[@emilykrey3661]

Why was I more annoyed that they were ordering food five mins before the place closes than I was at the girl needing a menu for a Chinese restaurant. Am I the only one lol

[@callmeyourdai5y518]

They were ordering before the time cut off not actual closing time.

[@johnnyblank4085]

Thank you.

[@kelleighsheeley6653]

Call me Your Dai5y idk I worked at a Resturant and we hated when someone called in 5 minutes before closing .. closing and cutoff are the same thing .. we would still get them their food of course but it’s more polite if you can consider ordering take out for someplace that doesn’t close until another hour as the last half hour the kitchens are usually closing shop to get ready for clean up

[@CrysasDan]

Because you're not an asshole.

[@dulcemuniz1239]

It is extremely rude.

[@CounseledDeer]

The way he starts out fairly civil and becomes rapidly unhinged is fantastic

[@yugusmedugus4005]

i love how Brennen still has time to add a "have a great night" after that huge rant, very on brand

[@ashara3259]

Brennan's voice is so smooth and gorgeous that him shouting about Chinese food relaxes me

[@sahayeda5220]

LOL SAME

[@mrprescription4153]

Sounds like Jontron XD

[@hooskidoesminecraft6807]

same xD

[@koreaface]

He would be a good video game voice for gta VII

[@danthelion9019]

1k like

[@decoydamsel]

I feel like we're going to lose Brennan to a career in voice acting. Dude is seriously talented.

[@docdarlin5491]

O yeah, he's way too talented for CH.

[@Vahrules]

I’m surprised he’s still here.

[@spartin1173]

Kinda did his main thing is dimension20

[@troylentz6580]

"AS GOD ABOVE AS MY WITNESS GRANT THEY WILL HAVE DUMPLINGS" best part of this whole sketch

[@rich1051414]

He says that, but I saw a burger king that ran out of burgers the other day.

[@troylentz6580]

@@rich1051414 damn that is a rare sight

[@Lelentos]

The more I watch Brennan, the more I'm convinced that his monologue wasn't rehearsed.

[@TMOFApollios]

Brennan has infused so much life into college humour sketches.

[@peace7131421]

TMOFApollios d

[@BerserkerTwo]

Yeah without zach brennan is exactly what they needed.

[@jasonflay8818]

Brennen rants are the best.

[@warlord0877]

He’s the best cast member

[@min0sse]

God in this is the worst XD How can someone be soooo unnerving. Let them goddam choose. The best part of exotic cousine is to play on unexplored fields...

[@terrytaylor7036]

@@min0sse but that's when you aren't in a hurry

[@SohanDsouza]

@@terrytaylor7036 Also, a place called "Ming Moon" having General Tso's Chicken on the menu doesn't sound like a restaurant where you'd get exotic cuisine anyway.

[@ashtonhoward5582]

@@min0sse American Chinese food is hardly exotic.

[@gokuxsephiroth4505]

The fact he rattles off the entire order, numbers by heart, ends it very politely and then hangs up to whisper you f***s to his friends just...Mmm chef's kiss!

[@AuroraIceFlame]

I love how trap throws in 3 genie wishes and brennen has that memorized as well 😂

[@NavShay]

God damn Brennan took over this show like a Boss

[@pacmax4454]

NavShay that’s how collegehumor works

[@komlat253]

Omg yes .he sneaks up on the cast from the side lines here and there and now he just in it to win it .I love them but brennan is on another league sorry CH team ,yall neeed hin

[@lydiafayre9806]

His charisma almost makes up for his being the guy who places an order one minute before the restaurant closes.

[@DevotedPastafarian]

The time they list that they stop taking orders is the time they stop taking orders, if they want to stop taking orders earlier then list an earlier time.

[@lydiafayre9806]

​@@DevotedPastafarian Are you legit under the impression that the people I sympathize with here are the people who *decide* the hours? Because...that's not correct.

[@DevotedPastafarian]

@@lydiafayre9806 I work in food service, if I couldn't handle the idea of not shutting everything down early because the business takes orders while they are open then I'd just work mornings. You've convinced yourself that the open hours are a suggestion, but they are the rule. You agreed to work in a place where they take orders until x time.

[@lydiafayre9806]

@@DevotedPastafarian That's very responsible of you. You are a a admirable standard for all of us in the service industry to aspire toward. It doesn't make *me* think placing an order a minute before closing is a terribly sympathetic thing to do, but then neither would being tempted into a serious debate about my joke post on a comedy sketch video.

[@jonathandpg6115]

I worked in a restaurant and it always bothered me when an employee would complain when someone came in 5 minutes to close. We are booked in to stay at least an hour after. If we end early great but we are not supposed to.

[@guyver441]

2:40 "I order the BEST meal every time!" absolute legend

[@raeart3761]

"A genie gives you three wishes-" *"Is there a menu..? I'm not sure what I want.."*

[@Xavier_Draws_And_Scares]

That would be amazing sass just "A genie gives you three wishes-" "Is there a menu? I'm not sure what I want- THAT WOULD BE YOU! POWERFUL WIZARD, NEW LAMP, AND FREE THE FIRST GENIE YOU FUCKS!"

[@RedPandaGames.]

“So you only have 2 moods?!” “2 moods is enough for anybody!!”

[@alexandrezani]

Glad to see someone else liked my favorite line.

[@Anna-kj3np]

Verity The Vegan the emotional range of a teaspoon

[@deimosvoralius2988]

I think he made the best argument for being bipolar

[@aylith663320]

You can have more than one mood?

[@skater555556]

That sounds like a George Costanza line

[@ADHDnD13]

In general College Humor has come up in quality this past year, but dang Brennan's sketches are pushing them to new heights

[@commentcopbadge6665]

Then those two chicks just always pull them back down. I don't know their names 'nor do I care but one is the lesbian and the other is the one in this video. They ruin every sketch by not being funny.

[@TheMike0088]

brennan is the best actor CH has, hands down. him, trapp and katy are the holy trinity of CH.

[@vdemongod]

@@TheMike0088 I've got high hopes for the 2 new Asian ones they've recently added.

[@ADHDnD13]

@@commentcopbadge6665 naw, Aly's def one of the better ones

[@commentcopbadge6665]

Rurouni137 Who's Aly? The british chick?

[@93techie]

I love how Brennan’s New York upbringing leaks through when he says coffee.

[@zomgmadii]

“You know, technically, an egg roll is a sandwich.” That was a callback to the video about Siobhan having Celiac’s Disease 😂

[@d.n.3652]

Peachy Keen or remember that one video about grant and the sandwich? Maybe that was the reference

[@deezytherunt4639]

Brennan is not only the best CEO but he's the best motivational speaker

[@katiehayes4018]

What kind of monster orders multiple meals 1 minute before a restaurant closes?! 😅

[@mickeye6428]

The kind that eats spit.

[@Scholupine]

The one that orders a pizza from a burger joint and lashes out at the delivery boy for not bringing him his diet drink even though he didn't order one.

[@randomizedchaos242]

K. Sonata Sneaky Spongebob reference. You now have my respect.

[@frankman2]

The delivery closes. Not the restaurant.

[@owenperkins9234]

As being a cook for a restaurant. People love to come in all the time 5 minutes before close or make a reservation for 30 minutes before close and then say they will be late. It's one of the most annoying things to have to deal with those people.

[@Thecoffeeconsumer]

Watching him have breakdown after breakdown makes me feel complete.

[@emmanuelvargas296]

Same. Also 69 likes

[@Ace5004]

I love that in the beginning Brennan is the relatable one, but as the skit goes on his true colors are revealed.

[@Achilles3666]

That ordering speed at the end actually gave me chills. Sheer efficiency.

[@YawnBlue]

That speed and confidence! If only more customers could do that instead of going "uh... let me see..." even though they called in and could have looked at the menu and marked their choices way ahead of time.

[@brandonwei2430]

Brennan is DEFINITELY from New York. I feel his pain.

[@jaykodex3752]

It is a simple and true fact.

[@yt-jf8we]

I like how in NYC many of the restaurants use the same item numbersfood associations

[@uncommon_nettle]

Did you hear how he said coffee? It’s adorable

[@bored4428]

Is the way he says coffee different?

[@Cystro]

cawfee

[@papertiger4525]

My only question is this. If Brennan doesn’t look at menus, how does he specifically know which numbers their orders were?

[@lucasroos9222]

The numbers 1,3,5,7 are odd numbers and easy to remember. The last time he looked at a menu was 24 years ago. He could possibly remember the menu and the individual numbers.

[@anitadickens2048]

@@lucasroos9222 that and most Chinese restaurants have the same numbers so it doesn’t confuse people so it’s all the semi-same.

[@gavingameplay5790]

Weren't you listening a true man looks in his heart and knows what to order

[@sev1120]

​@@anitadickens2048 This is especially true for takeout restaurants in bigger cities. Also, generally speaking, combos will be closer to the front of the menu, with individual items being separate. Hence why he lists off the soup and egg roll

[@halotalim]

This is my favorite sketch by Brennan, ever, of all time. I just watched this for the first time yesterday and I have already seen it a couple dozen times. So chaotic, so true. I am willingly giving this sketch free rent in my head. I love it.

[@humanperson8061]

I know they just added that the restaurant was closing in 5 minutes to give the sketch a sense of urgency but as someone who's worked in a lot of restaurants it gave me PTSD.

[@Rainaman-]

Vietnam flashbacks right there

[@tenshi6071]

Same here. I wouldn't have picked up the phone lol or would have said "the kitchen is closed. Goodnight".

[@kaizocaster]

WAIT *How does he know the number for each item if he hasn’t looked at the menu*

[@HelgaCavoli]

He just knows. 'Cos he's Brennan.

[@onizukasorimachi9755]

Didn't u catch one of his line "I've look at the menu for 24 years, I know the god Damn menu!"

[@alvallac2171]

@@onizukasorimachi9755 *lines

[@yeahkeen2905]

Onizuka Sorimachi that wasn’t the line. He said, “I haven’t looked at a menu in 24 years.”

[@thefinalsif]

Beyond just the 'he looked at it once' he could've also just heard it from the employee when it was being read back or asked them for the number.

[@Ghostly_scarf]

The pure chaos + sass + seriousness + insanity from brennan is the perfect concoction of a convincing argument

[@SpecialxSnowflake]

"Cup of coffee" there's his New York sneaking in there. 😂

[@adamtapparo2168]

Did anyone else feel like they needed to watch that again the moment it finished?

[@royalpain9281]

Adam Tapparo 0:00 you’re welcome

[@ashishsharma-og4nl]

Yes

[@RheniumGateWizard]

I've already watched it 12 times over the past week.

[@seededsoul]

in slow-motion.

[@Schtoinkus]

im my 3rd lap in

[@gumballguy34]

"You guys shouldn't have gotten that, so just ignore it"

[@nix2747]

And no one is going to discuss that further... I mean, c'mon!

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828]

I like how the video is actually on time with the 4 minutes, 3 minutes, and a 2 minutes

[@kieran.grant_]

The video is 3:38 long, how could it be on time with four minutes?

[@ashtonhoward5582]

@@kieran.grant_ because it was 4 minutes remaining until the place closed. Did you even watch the sketch?

[@kieran.grant_]

@@ashtonhoward5582 I did actually, at 0:25 Brennan says the restaurant closes in five minutes and at 3:00 he yells that there's one minute left. I'm no mathmatologist, but that ain't right.

[@ashtonhoward5582]

@@kieran.grant_ ah, you're right

[@msthecommentator2863]

Watching Brennan work himself up into a classic "Brennan" lather is a sight to behold, that man could read the phone book and I'd hang onto every word.

[@jesuszelaya7627]

If collegehumor had a menu, I'd order brennen-centered sketches everytime

[@Jebu911]

I dont even need a menu for that. I know they have it.

[@ZombieSazza]

Saaaame. I absolutely love his energy, and he’s an amazing actor... but also I’m hella thirsty for Brennan.

[@Jebu911]

@@ZombieSazza God damn it why is every woman so thirsty for brennen

[@ryangallagher9723]

@@Jebu911 Because he's a funny, highly likeable actor.

[@moiclarence]

And i’d get orange chicken please

[@MeridianSon]

I wait with baited breath for the day Brennan does a Netflix stand up. He will break the internet.

[@NyscanRohid]

bated breath

[@blakeharris58]

He needs to do more executive videos. The ABC one has me in tears everytime.

[@gravityhypernova]

@@blakeharris58 The most recent CEO Brennan will have people in tears for the wrong reason, if they have to GofundMe for their medical bills.

[@JustAMagicDuck]

I just found this and I relate so hard. When it comes time to pick something to eat people act like they’ve never heard of food before. The worst is when someone pulls this shit with groceries. “I’m going to Walmart, you want anything?” “What kind of chips do they have?” “It’s Walmart. They oppress billions of working poor every day so they can sell a huge variety of shit at low prices. Pick a chip and I’ll get it for you.”

[@Glmorrs1]

I had a friend who was like this when we’d go to McDonald’s. Every fucking time “I need to see the menu,” like no you fucking don’t! You’re getting a quarter pounder with no onions, large fries and a sprite like always.

[@PtylerBeats]

I absolutely love how he just knew the meal numbers off the top of his head when he finally ordered lol

[@maggiearmstrong2026]

I love when Brennan’s New York accent really comes out like it did in coffee

[@imNapalm]

Maggie Armstrong im from new york how do you people pronounce coffee xD

[@setholenick4454]

@@imNapalm in maryland we pronounce it caugh-ee

[@may.d.a.y]

cawwfee

[@ragingranger4859]

@@setholenick4454 As someone from Maryland I can confirm this is true

[@ed3545]

@@ragingranger4859 I can second that.

[@GamesFromSpace]

The menu was inside us all along.

[@terrencemcgarty6810]

😏😂

[@cantaloupegodling352]

The fact he ordered with the numbers means he definitely knew the menu he just refused to tell them on principal.

[@maxdowker8766]

This has quickly became one of my favourite sketches of all time, over all the classic CH videos

[@SeredipityFinch]

Brennan is consistently turning out the best sketches, bless him.

[@cookiezombiebro]

It’s becoming more and more obvious Brennan is from New York as these videos progress

[@soph403]

CookieZombieBro cuppa cawfee

[@woodside4life]

Why would you want to go to New York when there’s a whole trash on the ground?

[@leolacerda2833]

@@woodside4life a WHOLE trash!!!!!!

[@naughtyskywalker9292]

*Only Collegehumour can make ordering food stressful. And fun.*

[@pixelpixie444]

hearing the new yorker in 2:52

[@lemonbluerazz]

The music while Brennan lists off his food items is too good, this is the type of thing you rewatch over and over because of how awesome it is

[@melanyerodriguez1313]

IV BEEN REWATCHING THESE SCENE OVER N OVER..YOU READ MY MIND

[@banditraccoon8476]

Brennan is always the voice of reason

[@AxxLAfriku]

and i am the voice of having two hot girlfriends

[@supeboy1313]

Except that one time with the turds lol

[@noahcrane142]

Especially when he was holding the turd.

[@orangeboy0001]

Or thats what they are selling hmmm

[@15thCrypt]

@@supeboy1313 sounds like youre just intolerant of his choice to have a turd in his hand

[@nukethewhalesagain]

"Italian?" "Chicken Parm." "They're out of chicken." "Chicken Piccata." Is this a joke about Italian food that I don't get? Why is Chicken Piccata the alternative if they're out of chicken?

[@pizzatime9134]

Chicken piccata can have veal instead so its technically a loophole

[@amurphy3335]

They weren't out of chicken, they were out of chicken parm

[@apersonwhomayormaynotexist9868]

It's delicious Also its if they dont have parm not if they dont have chicken

[@rachelrachel9152]

@@apersonwhomayormaynotexist9868 i heard chicken when grant said it too

[@walterdingwall1635]

Credit to Trapp for actually giving his order immediately.

[@ericwang6658]

I love how this implies that genies usually come with a menu of every conceivable wish for you to choose from. Truly insightful

[@bena9369]

Eric Wang lmao

[@NyscanRohid]

"You have found me after ten thousand years! I will grant you three wishes, anything you desire." "... ... ... Uhhh... Ummm... Well... Can I see a menu?"

[@ThunderhunterFTW]

I want this to be a sketch.

[@taloutezero]

@@NyscanRohid There goes your first wish. Oof

[@FabFishy154]

Brennan never fails to make me smile wtf.

[@ziyaadmoerat5644]

Same

[@JamesCPotter13]

0:58 It's the same toppings, forever, everywhere. I once had the capacity to order French fries, olives, and steak on my pizza...Brennan doesn't see the innovation.

[@natewoodbridge8089]

3:05 How did he know the meal numbers if he hadn’t seen a menu in 24 years?

[@MoeruHoeru]

Some way to do that. Listening to other's order and what the waitress is yelling to the kitchen

[@jakegordon99]

Brennan even has the numbers memorized because he knows the receipt. He could tell you how much everything is before and after tax.

[@MatthewOrton72]

Brennan is the best thing to happen to CollegeHumor

[@H0ckeyCus]

I agree.

[@justaguy5923]

I literally was about to say the exact same thing and then I saw you already said it 😂

[@AJ20236]

I agree, miss Zac tho

[@alanr2504]

This is one of the Classic Sketches© that I always come back to again and again

[@victor9]

Menu!? (lights puffs a cigarette) I haven't heard that name in years.

[@kittymischief1449]

Make this a drama scene

[@abby_4144]

my favorite thing about collegehumor is the weird conversations they are always having at the beginning of videos

[@Polygonetwo]

A beautiful sketch, right down to the details. This was well planned, well shot, and well executed. Great job! XD

[@jotusaini7886]

After seeing Brennan on D20 getting roasted for order the exact same burger for lunch everyday until the restaurant closed from health code violations I feel like this isn’t a bit and those are all his real “everytime” meals

[@davidsen1805]

Brennan is by far one of my favorite cast member to date

[@LandStalkerNigel]

hey thats cool if you roll that way

[@ChadsUltimateChannelExpereince]

He’s a fantastic actor and I love him

[@bluesun4682]

I also am having a bro crush on Brennan, he just seems like the coolest guy you could hang with, lol.

[@numbo655]

nah trapp, grant, katie, zach are better

[@calvinthedestroyer]

Really? I haven't dated any of them yet

[@stephanieb7330]

*_AS GOD ABOVE AS MY WITNESS GRANT_*

[@intuendaecivilization9365]

*Is my witness

[@Keith_Petersen_Actor]

@@intuendaecivilization9365 no....

[@mnemosyne9109]

@Toshiba1177 just... no...

[@abirdkilledmeh]

He sad "As God above is my witness Grant"... but obviously he meant to say what you wrote tho

[@_anthrax101_5]

I like the sketches where Brennan is the main character.

[@davidkepler9994]

So much of this is so well done. I love the implied gag at the end. By ordering it all by number it is clear that he's looked at this menu enough to have the items all memorized. Brilliant

[@BeckenBocker1]

You should NEVER EVER. EVER. EVER. call in an order of that size 5 min before closing! Lol

[@Rainaman-]

You can try, but they probably will not pick up the phone

[@umersalman1]

Umm don’t most places have a time limit for orders. The time of kitchen closing is usually half hour more than the time of last order taking. They process all the orders they receive until a particular time.

[@Exxzo]

I'm deeply concerned that you're the only one that addressed this

[@CallMeXRVEN]

Brennan doesn’t even bother seeing a menu. He’s gone way past logic a long time ago.

[@MrLymahbeanz]

Everything in that order should be basically premade already, and just tossed in a wok for heating, take 5 minutes tops

[@discgolfwes]

People who order food 5 minutes before closing are the worst.

[@Loogaroo1]

They haven't closed yet. If they don't want to take orders that late then they should already be closed.

[@KaysieDaniels]

Loogaroo1 we love people who don’t work in the food industry and are ignorant

[@anthonycunningham8116]

@@KaysieDaniels loogaroo is the person the food industry gives the 'going in the trash tommorow' vegetables and the 'technically edible but smells a bit funky' meat.

[@eldon498]

@@Loogaroo1 So you know it takes time to close down a kitchen and clean right? When you do that especially for a large order you just expanded that time by thirty or more minutes past closing. In a normal world those last 30 minutes are for the staff to close down while the one or two patrons left leave the store. Not to cook your dinner.

[@Loogaroo1]

@@eldon498 Three people is a large order?

[@G_Rez]

This is maybe my favorite Brennan sketch. The dramatic lighting is so good

[@ChristopherCraven]

This sketch is so fun to watch again and again over the years.

[@ChristopherCraven]

And I would know.