You Don't LOOK Autistic (Autistic Person Rant)

You don't look autistic is a phrase that gets thrown around so often. If I got paid every time I heard someone say "but you don't look autistic" I would be a millionaire. So today I wanted to talk about this phrase, why saying to an autistic people you don't autistic is bad and some way to help this stigma through this autistic rant.
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ABOUT ME
Hello indie people, I'm Andy and I have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I make videos on autism from the perspective of an autistic adult. Sharing my autism experiences to help other autistic people and autism families to improve their understanding of autism.
This channel is focused on raising autism awareness & acceptance of autism. To try and change attitudes towards autism, to educate people about autism for those who are new to the autism world.
So if you are on the spectrum, know someone with autism, or are working professionally in the autism field and want to learn more about autistic people then consider subscribing and turning on the notification bell to see all future videos.
#youdontlookautistic #indieandy #autistic

[@IndieAndy]

Hi indie people! What other videos would you like to see on this channel? 📌 My video on high functioning autism: kzbin.info/www/bejne/j6ito2idpt6BfZY&pp=sAQA

[@robynfromcanada]

Would you be willing to share your experiences and opinions about the word "disability"? I know, it's only a disability because society does not try to accommodate diverse needs. But... sometimes I feel the best results in social settings may be achieved by self-identifying: "I have a social disability". It seems to focus on the exact difficulty (communication, social anxiety, confusion, perceived rudeness). Whereas if I self-identify autistic or neurodivergent, people are likely to bring misconceptions to the conversation. 🤔 Education is great! There's not always time. 😅

[@elizabethCorkins83]

I didn't want to tell my family for a while & when I told them I got alot of stuff like that. Heard it from others in my life too... Also what about... "Maybe u just have a little bit of autism..." Or when ppl say with ASD, Or other disorders... "Everyone had a little bit of it" 🌹Hugz🌹

[@IndieAndy]

Aww I did a video years ago but this is something I like talking about so expect a video soon when I have some time and dont have to get married 🤣

[@robynfromcanada]

@@IndieAndy YAY! Enjoy getting married! I was 19 when I got married, and we have prioritized low-stress life for 13 years and counting. 😊 It's a day to celebrate authenticity in a partnership! 🥰🥰🥰

[@jonathantyner171]

I hate being autistic, i don't care what everyone says, i wish i was never born with autism, i wish i was born to be normal person.

[@sarielsworldella1723]

Someone: "you don't look Autistic" Me: "and you don't look like a complete idiot, yet here we are"

[@strawberryfluffy]

Haha brilliant !!🤣🤣

[@sarielsworldella1723]

@@strawberryfluffy *Takes a bow" Why, thank you!

[@JordanDonnellyAutismdad]

Hahah brilliant response

[@imnobodywhoareyouu]

It’s funny how you can say that harsh stuff since you have autism while we normal people have to be polite because we might get in trouble.

[@sarielsworldella1723]

@@imnobodywhoareyouu I am sorry you got offended by this. To be honest with you, I, personally, have no idea why you are finding such great offense in a year old meme referencing comment that is literally only two sentences, but we are all entitled to our opinions, I suppose.

[@tayzonday]

I am different on different days. Many times, my Autism Spectrum Disorder is instantly visible (even on camera) - but in other moments it’s not. I agree that it’s quite “cringe” (as the kids say these days) when someone tells me “I had no idea! You strike me as quirky but don’t *seem* autistic” - because they take it like I told them my foot is broken . . . “Well you’re not limping at all!” 🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️ I don’t have time to educate every person and correct their misconceptions.

[@purple-headedyogurtslinger2683]

Thank you Tay for supporting small autistic content creators. Really helps the community.

[@maryh8922]

I genuinely don't know much about you other than your first viral video, but I'm very glad to hear you're still on KZbin and still being a good dude. Hope you're doing alright Tay. 😁💖

[@IndieAndy]

Hmm I see your point but what I talked about here about educating isn't something I'm saying we have to do with every single person. While it would be the best way, ultimately it's not just our responsibility to become educated, we can only pave the way.

[@eminbe338x]

KZbin ❤🎉🎉

[@user-eg8ht4im6x]

The last time somebody gave me the ‘oh but you don’t look Autistic’ treatment, I was very proud of myself, I responded. “But what dose Autism look like?’ That shut them up and made them think, they admitted they had no idea.

[@endorolfgreenwolf5265]

Just tell them “you don’t look normal”

[@IndieAndy]

I mean I could but that would probably go over badly 🤣

[@endorolfgreenwolf5265]

@@IndieAndy true. But they started it

[@ReiverBlue1971]

It's unfortunate that our condition FORCES us to study how and why NTs think, whereas the NTs don't even have to understand THEMSELVES let alone anyone else! I suppose it puts us ahead in the deal

[@SG-zp4fz]

"condition"????

[@ReiverBlue1971]

@@SG-zp4fz ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder)

[@SG-zp4fz]

@@ReiverBlue1971 you: KIA (Know It All)

[@ReiverBlue1971]

@@SG-zp4fz You asked a question, I answered it

[@bryanmerton5153]

Hi Andy, great video! When I told my friends I was autistic they said “But you talk so well!” I wasn’t offended by that, but I did educate them on the parts of my life they don’t see. Like melt downs, being difficult for me to go to the supermarket or not knowing what they are feeling or thinking because I can’t read faces! It would be nice to see someone more like me in the films. Maybe a cool super spy who does all these cool things, yet sits in his car at the market wondering if he will be able to go in today😂. Thanks as always for posting!

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

Great idea for the super spy film as a way to educate about autism - I love it! 💡💕💕

[@SezFrancis1]

I have had people saying this to me before - and yes, it is annoying. I feel that sometimes, social media sends a negative portrayal of the representation of autism. When you look back on the films, the ABA/electric shock therapy that is happening in the US (and I have a friend who went through ABA therapy years ago) and the stereotypical judgements that people hear, it's easy to see that in the 21st century, people still don't understand about autism and some may not want to know. It's a confusing world we live in but if changes can be made, then hopefully eyes will be wide open. Not just on but offline too. Great video as always, Andy :)

[@StephanieBethany]

Ah yes, my go-to irl response is an awkward chuckle because what am I to do, honestly? Good discussion on this matter and things that influence it. Also thanks for including the issue with JRC 💛

[@whitneymason406]

My son was diagnosed with autism at age, he is now 4. He is nonverbal and does a lot of stereotypical behaviors like hand flapping, toe walking, spinning, jumping, etc. I was diagnosed with autism last month at age 30. I struggled a bit with reading, math and science, but I got tutors and came in early to get help from my teachers so it didn't seem to others like I struggled academically. Although I was a bit socially awkward at times I had a few close friends growing up. I just thought I had really bad depression and anxiety. We all present differently and I'm so thankful for my son and KZbinrs like yourself for helping me find my place on the spectrum!

[@shawnthefriendlymonster9480]

I like how even though he calls it a rant he's still respectful and stays on point. He has something important to say BUT he says it in an honest and yet still polite and direct way. Thank you so much Indieandy!

[@IndieAndy]

I believe that it's fine to rant about stuff but doing respectfully actually makes it come across better. Sadly there are quite a few autistic creators who I believe have good intentions, talk in a way that just makes me switch off and not want to engage you know. While this isn't an original topic, I hope I did it so justice.

[@ruthbell3872]

I have learned to channel my pent up emotions through poems. By the time my rant is over, whatever the subject the poem I write could be quite long. When I read it again it's more like a short story and quite funny. Turning pent up frustration into humour is good therapy.

[@siennaprice1351]

And this, is one of the reasons why I hide from the world, and I’m always afraid of meeting new people. Not only am I autistic, but I have a few other mental conditions, and I’m physically handicapped. I’ve even gotten the whole, you don’t look physically handicapped. Which to me, was very interesting. I’m even afraid to mention my physical disability publicly, because I’ve gotten ignorant people asking such ignorant questions about it. I’ve rarely gotten the whole “you don’t look autistic.” Or, “you don’t look like you have CPTSD.”

[@NFSMAN50]

With the whole, "You don't look autistic" i don't get too offended or mad by it, because the media and society depicts autism as a bunch of dorky nerdy socially awkward White males, and they don't really discuss that autism is a spectrum. I try to educate those on this topic, that autism is a spectrum, most people on the spectrum are your average joes, who can live life normally like anyone else, except that they may have a few quirks about them.

[@IndieAndy]

To be honest I wish that more autistic females were depicted in media as I'm the literal stereotypes you comment refers to

[@catherinedesrochers]

I noticed how frequent the videos on that exact topic have a thumbnail of the author looking at the camera lens with wide opened eyes! and as usual, I love the kind point of view on the topic!

[@IndieAndy]

Haha yeah to be honest the thumbnail gets the point across :D Thank you for the kind words!

[@ambersmith6193]

Thank you so much IndieAndy for your content. My youngest was recently diagnosed severe autism and ive already heard this phrase at least once and it pissed me off. "Oh really, He doesnt look Autistic". Id like to add that you've helped to keep me informed and have taught me some things i didnt know about autism. So again thank you so much.

[@IndieAndy]

Aww no worries Amber, glad I could help :D

[@dio_hoestar_4204]

"Oh you're autistic? I would have never known. You don't look autistic. I have a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/family member who is autistic and they do *insert behavior*. You don't do that. Do you know your level of gravity??" Like??? Yeah, when I was diagnosed, the doctor pulled out the autism-o-meter to see how autistic I was. Hello?? It's autistic SPECTRUM disorder. Spectrums don't work like that.

[@robbiedownloadable]

Proud of you dude, you have come such a long way keep up the good work, you are an inspiration to all.

[@IndieAndy]

Aww thanks my dude! Hope all is well :)

[@seacastlelady2319]

Excellent video and thank you for it. You shine a light into the darkness of ignorance. X

[@IndieAndy]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@TheRainydayvideo]

Love your videos. Don't worry about being away a bit. I appreciate your honesty about how life as an autistic person is. Love this video so much. I get this comment so much, thank you for battling stereotypes x

[@Ari-rb4zc]

I had a psychiatrist that tell me that I don't look autistic but I have autism Although luckily I did not listen to her I did a diagnosis some time after what her say .

[@michaelcaza6766]

THIS. IS. AWESOME!!!! When I was diagnosed I was told I shouldn’t be talking, but I was a very articulate 14 year old. I don’t fall into the Asperger’s category, but I’m definitely not “low functioning” by non educated people’s standards. I ended up going off on an Uber driver when I was told “you don’t look nor sound autistic,” after she tried to get me to take off my headphones on a very noisy highway. The phrase, “you don’t look autistic/you appear to be normal,” I think is a very strong ableist statement. I need to steal your responses, “you’d don’t look like…,” and fill it in with someone. In regards to representation, I couldn’t agree with you more! Thankfully though more is being done, and we have shows like the Good Doctor out.

[@jayejaye1513]

Thank you for posting this video.

[@amandap.8471]

That's exactly how I feel. Thanks.

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

Accurate and diverse media representation goes a long way to educating the wider public, for sure.

[@RosheenQuynh]

I don't recall people telling me this except for a few instances. And I told people "Wait longer" because they haven't been around me long enough to see evidence.

[@Tazer_Silverscar]

I never really got the whole idea of 'looking autistic'. There was a program I saw quite some time ago here in the UK that claimed there was an appearance aspect to it, but I think that was misinformation. Holy hell, I still don't get why that's a thing.

[@strawberryfluffy]

Andy , as a Mum to an adult with non verbal asd, ppl would always say " he doesn't look autistic" my answer would be " what does autism look like then?" Sadly people are ignorant. I myself was too, I am an expert in him but not other forms of autism. I've just passed a level 2 in Understanding Autism, I feel I know a bit more but still far from an expert! Another thing people would say "it's such a shame , he looks so normal!" I wanted to tell them to piss off but....I didn't, I'd just tell them it was an honour to be his mum, I knew that he would never get into drugs , or mug or worse to an old lady. Wouldn't bully someone for a laugh and make me ashamed. I asked them if they could guarantee without a doubt if their children wouldn't do anything of that sort! Of course they couldn't. Loving all the content, keep up the good work....sorry for my essay! Lol 😆

[@mazingworldofmegan8906]

I get that comment alot. But... Wow.

[@PauldeBrem]

Hey, Andie. Fantastic video, thank you! As a neurotypical 54 yo guy, I do understand why people say you don't look autistic (I acknowledge how hurtful it can be and I feel sorry) ! The way you speak, look, etc., just doesn't match our representations of auticism. We are just ignorant. But society is going to learn, slowly. You're from a generation which is on a mission : explain, describe and teach again and again. And the way you do that is fantastic. Thanks again!

[@IndieAndy]

Hi Paul, I appreciate the comment and hope you're well. Do not get me wrong, we can all be ignorant and are ignorant on different things which is fine. I'm sure there will be stuff that I'm completely ignorant on and I'm happy to say this because without ignorance, there's no possible room to grow. But I still believe that it's about what you do about your own ignorant... Educate yourself or not. It really comes down to a choice and while some just won't because that's the way they are, it's important that myself and others at least give people the opportunity to make a good choice.

[@josephsells4187]

Hey Andy! Insult or compliment? Insulting compliment maybe? Either way not sure how one would go about "looking autistic." Maybe next time you could try saying... "and you don't look neurotypical!" Lol Nice rant. Thanks Andy, hope your doing well!

[@dbt2787]

I like how you referenced media representation. Its unbelievable how many autistic people in the media are seen as a “stereotypical” autistic person

[@IndieAndy]

Yeah completely agree with you!

[@darbydelane4588]

❤Miss you, Andy.❤

[@Zlader.]

I haven't told many people about my autism, but if anyone ever said anything like what you're describing to me, I'd tell them, "Thank you! You don't look like you have a low IQ." Just curious to see if they'd take that as a compliment...

[@yunhee93]

I have told that I don’t look dyspraxic so many times even though they never heard that word

[@MartKart8]

That's really sad that people are still harassing you about being autistic, can't you get some type of restraining form, being a hate crime. Take it to the extreme.

[@IndieAndy]

In a way if we did that, it makes us no better than the people making the comments in the first place. To be frank, I no longer care about it so people can say it as much as they want as I know who I am and I don't have the time or energy to waste on those people.

[@MartKart8]

@@IndieAndy I thought you was being stalked , why I thought the restraining order.

[@DVDandFilmBloke]

I know this point isn't completely relevant with the video but is the changing of hair styles between cuts intentional?

[@IndieAndy]

No it wasn't at all. Basically it is warm filming in that room during the summer months and I suffer because of it

[@DVDandFilmBloke]

@@IndieAndy Makes sense

[@DVDandFilmBloke]

I completely agree with the problem with representation because while I don't believe media inspires people to go out and murder people or commit any other crimes (I've played GTA 4 and I've seen Natural Born Killers twice and I've not gone on a killing spree yet). People still get an idea of the world from what they see in the media (it's becoming even more of a problem in the last decade or so with the rise of social media), surprisingly movies like Being There and Videodrome are still surprisingly relevant 40 plus years after there original release (the technology depicted in them has dated but the themes haven't).

[@cristianjuarez1086]

i think it has to do with great part of the autistic population having a noticeable distinct behaviour, and some of them being practically indifferent to anyone makes neurotypical people confused because not everyone really understands what autism even is! I also have a very rare condition, its in fact an invisible one: Myasthenia Gravis. I look normal to everyone, or maybe even a little lazy which is embarassing. But i have no reason to get offended when they tell me "you dont look sick", its literally the truth and i find it as an oportunity to explain my condition! Important difference: i have an illness, but autism is a condition, not an illness, my point has nothing to do with that anyways but ive seen its very common mistake so i wanted to make that clear

[@cristianjuarez1086]

the thing is autism isnt a stereotype, its suppossed to be a condition right? so its literally a set of things that have to happen and not just an opinion

[@Ari-rb4zc]

I like your'e videos and your'e voice relaxing

[@murielbilly4296]

You don't look autistic... What have those people in mind? It's unfair to make us in the position to prove something. The most annoying thing for me is when doctors answers ' who told you that? ". Like if we choose one day that life is a bit annoying so let' s find a condition... (I can be very sarcastic)., In my family it's a taboo. I told them when I was diagnosed at 39, my mother jumped out of her chair.. Even 12 years later, they don't want to know. Friends were OK. And for care givers I need for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrom (another invisible condition) I tell them and explain I might have crisis and what they can do with a list on the wall.

[@michaelv151]

I would never say that but, I wouldn't know how to respond . I have a friend that is autistic and he never told me. I figured it out. He knows I know. We just don't talk about it

[@otaku5869]

true true

[@chefbapo6165]

My 5 yr old is on spectrum. Therapy 5 days a week 2 times on Tuesday. Doesn't eat real foods. Likes junk. I've tried taking junk away and make him eat healthy but won't even try. He is a handful. Love him more than anything. He is a eloper meaning he is a runner. Tantrums daily. Threw 2 puppies over and down stairs. I need help and advice and conversation

[@BL-sd2qw]

What kind of therapy?

[@anjachan2]

I think its hurtfull because it means having an visible disability is a bad thing.

[@crazyworldc.i.w3742]

He died 😭

[@turtleanton6539]

😊😊😊🎉

[@pastichegraham]

I just got this comment about three days ago….😐😐😐

[@purple2raven012]

Whenever I get this response idk if I should just forgive them or that chop them. I get it, there's a perception. At the same time I live it every day. Idk mini rant over.

[@Randomark3087]

#autismhasnolook