YOU DON’T LOOK AUTISTIC!?

You Don’t Look Autistic!? Oh boy here we go!
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If I had a £1 for every time I heard someone tell me that I didn’t look autistic I would be a millionaire a long time ago.
But why? Why do people say this to autistic individuals? It is just super rude!
The answer lies in the education part of societies, as they are not aware of what autism actually is.
Because we are presented with Hollywood movies like Rain Man and other autistic characters in film and TV who present only one type of autism traits it leaves out most of the other autistic individuals traits.
This, combined with the wrong data publish older generation charities organisations and older (more less informed books) causes the average person to not really grasp or understand the full idea of what autism is.
By creating videos, blogs, and other influence content on the internet we are able to make an impact in educating and informing people of the actual full picture of the autism spectrum.
Would love to know your thoughts on this subject!

[@MK-fi4cd]

"You don't look ignorant, but you still are!" I love that line!

[@LunarFrequenciesHD]

Was going to say this but figured every one else here, agreed. Years of confusion=Torture Ah ha moments like this, video =Priceless

[@FennecTheRabbit]

That's a lot nicer than what I would have said. I would have said, "And you don't look like an asshat but you are." However, I have minimal patience for grown-ass adults who don't know how to act.

[@alecksluciferis4188]

"You don't look ignorant but you still are!" That fucking killed me hahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@JuanKenobiObi]

honestly all responses to the phrase can be reduced to this, but how do you wrap it so that they actually receive this message and take it to heart?

[@starling2637]

I'm in the middle of getting my diagnosis (2-3 years of jumping those NHS hoops!) but only just telling people at work and had a comment recently "oh, well, my friend's fourteen-year-old son is autistic and you don't act anything like him!" Well, of course I don't act like your friend's fourteen-year-old son, I'm a twenty-six-year-old woman for start... xD

[@scorpiovegan5887]

Gah. People are so rude!!

[@taystube6956]

Hahhahahha

[@sammiepav186]

On NHS waiting list to get a formal diagnosis to still have a long wait too

[@Karlos-pf3kk]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Aiken47]

I got diagnosed by an adult ASD specialist, it took 2x 1hr sessions. I’m in Australia

[@twinmamamg4707]

"You don't look ignorant but you still are!" Perfect response!!!!

[@motorcyclehair]

I get it with both ASD and being ADHD. "You aren't ADHD, you're smart, everyone's a little ADHD." Like you're saying, it takes a cool and collect wisdom to not want to punch these people in the face.

[@mani1mann]

I’m 40 and was diagnosed with ASD two weeks ago. Some of the people I’ve told have reacted in a way that left me feeling like I had to justify and defend myself. One said “This isn’t just one of those ‘Everyone’s getting diagnosed with ADHD and autism’ things is it?” It’s not helpful when you’re trying to get to grips with a diagnosis you’ve just had. As a side note, most of the people I’ve told have been extremely understanding. It doesn’t make it any easier when you get the above reaction though.

[@gracelily1305]

When people say oh I wouldn’t have guess your autistic or you don’t look autistic or really are you autistic? Like what does autism look like, it’s such a big spectrum and people only see some of the spectrum and the ones that’s are ‘high functioning’ mask it to fit on with society xx

[@Laz3rCat95]

2:21 "you don't look ignorant but you still are" perfect comeback I imagine many will be stealing that one

[@jbach1738]

I don't "look" autistic either. I was just reminded of the vast differences in autistic people a few days ago. My nephew came to visit while his mum borrowed some tools. He is an awesome freaking young man, but he is autistic, like me. He likes to hang out with me sometimes. He follows me around chatting on about everything that he finds interesting, while I am almost completely silent. I frequently use gestures or short phrases to get him to lend a hand with things, and he is always there to help, while his constant chatter never stops. He talks about interesting shit too. I really enjoy his chatter. We are basically completely opposite from one another, and to an outsider, we have absolutely nothing in common. Yet, we are both autistic. There is not a look, or a standard, for autism. If you know an autistic person, you know ONE autistic person. We are all so very different.

[@litchtheshinigami8936]

yes so true. i have autism and ADHD myself.. then my best friend also has autism and has a boyfriend who also has autism (specifically Aspergers in his case) it's the same way even though we are all very different (we do have some similar interests like how we all love nintendo) yet we get along just fine. some might find her boyfriend a bit annoying because he has a lot of knowledge and is often seen as a know it all. i however like it because the topics he talks about are really interesting to me. then my best friend also has few learning disabilities but she is the sweetest person ever. i've known her since i was about 8 or 9 and from then on we've always been able to just get along. with most kids i'd have some kind of disagreement at some point but with her (same with another friend i had back then who was also on the spectrum though we lost contact over the years) that just never occured. we'd just be outside running around being kids. i remember during winter we were playing pretend and we pretended to be trains. we were ice skating so we'd zoom all over the place pretending to be picking up passengers and then continueing on. those are very fond memories that i'll never forget (i'm also quite chatty myself.. i tend to just ramble on and on about whatever is on my mind at that time.. )

[@naomijohnsonmusic]

I love this video. I got told in a job interview that I don't look autistic and that I can't be because I'm so educated. She then proceeded to ask me what will happen if I am at work and I have a meltdown, does that mean I will (in her own words) "run around screaming with my hands in the air?" I didn't want the job anyway after that. I messaged her too explaining how rude and ignorant she came across.

[@litchtheshinigami8936]

run around screaming with my hands in the air.. that is the most fucking infuriatingly ignorant thing i've ever heard..

[@naomijohnsonmusic]

@@litchtheshinigami8936 yepp.. I didn't know what to say.. I was shocked

[@litchtheshinigami8936]

@@naomijohnsonmusic i probably would have been the same way.. i would just completely go blank

[@mileschristophermorales]

“Ya but you don’t look ignorant but still are” is my new comeback!! Thanks, I love it!!

[@Lighting_Desk]

I was getting food at u 8 wearing the landyard and someone loudly said 'He definitely doesn't look disabled'. That was a fun day.

[@jeffgordon854]

Being 25, disabled, and always chastised for lifesaving medications I need to take, and always hearing that “you’re so young, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you”, that’s extremely relatable and I’m sorry the world has so many ignoramuses you’ve dealt with and I hope you have a great day when you read this buddy.

[@Wisdomseeker5]

I hate when they said "Autistic child misunderundestand everything". It's like give responsability and blame at The same time When Teachers and Adults Don't try to explain concrete and clearly. Thanks for sharing this ❤❤❤🤘

[@jkka1477]

I’m level 2 autistic and I have an intellectual disability so even though I’m an autistic girl I don’t mask myself because it’s difficult even though I wanna because I don’t like others who see me as different

[@jkka1477]

Well I can mask my intellectual disability by answering every question correctly cuz it took me a lot of learning for me to be smart

[@juanavargas7562]

100% agree on this. Before, years ago when I was younger I was pretty ignorant on this on anything in general. Because there was that stereotype of how people with autism or down syndrome act, look and are like. But in truth they all aren't the same. In high school, I was a teachers aid for the special needs kids(sorry if I offended anyone with the way I said this.) I got to interact with them, talk with them. Wonderful students. There were some ups and downs, even though at this time I already knew better, I still saw learned more with just being around them all.

[@Lycantis]

Not offensive at all! Actually, I think more people need to meet the special needs kids and interact. They would find people like myself to be quite different from the stereotype of that autistic you see depicted by hate groups and bullies. I was special needs as an autistic. I needed books and videos to show me how neurotypicals act and how I should respond in kind. That is a special need. I didn't come with my "how to human" manual!

[@sharonnunn3385]

I have taught children at church that I recognized right away had autism (because my son has autism), but the parents didn’t share that information. They don’t want their child “labeled” or treated differently. I think this actually makes things worse - if the child has a meltdown, or shuts down and can’t communicate, it’s viewed as a behavior problem, just being a brat or not complying. I think it’s so important to inform people of an autism diagnosis! Friends, family and teachers will be more understanding and accommodating if they know what’s going on. If people react with an ignorant comment, I use that as an opportunity to educate them. I’ve shared several of Dan’s videos with family members to help them better understand my son’s diagnosis, and it’s been very helpful. Thanks, Dan!

[@JessBookgirlTV]

This is like 291. Years ago, before I was diagnosed with Aspergers/ Autism, when I told people I am Learning Disabled I would get looks or comments like ‘You are not Learning Disabled.’ Dan is right. People need to read books on Autism or read on the Internet.

[@Aiken47]

Why can’t they have a social science class in schools to cover ASD? They’d be plenty of kids in schools that would like that kind of acknowledgment and support. BUT there’s plenty of people wish to remain ignorant Glimpses of Aspergers by Marie Harder is a great book.

[@madisonvens7562]

In my developmental psychology and general psychology classes in college didn't even go that deep into Autism. There was maybe 15 minutes between the two spent discussing it. Most of that was students talking about a family member that has it

[@tashiadanielle2839]

Good idea! It would be great if they could cover neurodiversity and the the disabling of people through social “norms and expectations”... both physically and mentally. This would cover many folks with various diversities. Possibly build understanding....

[@Aiken47]

@@madisonvens7562 wow, I guess that’s why it’s so important to find an ASD specialist

[@gaylemamabutterfly]

Glad you made this video. My son is on the spectrum....the Rainman is a very small part of it isn't it.. My son is bright, smart, witty, and caring as you probably are too...he drives, he works, he lives his life. He is so much more able to deal with issues that come up now that he is in his 40's. Take care and stay safe.

[@tygenco]

I've gotten all manner of "you don't look" comments, but I've found that the comments that have upset me the most have come from neuro-typical parents and or family members who have said "you can't use the word 'aspie' to describe yourself because that doesn't exist". When pressed, they say that there's just ASD now and that terms like Aspergers or Savant aren't applicable, OR they say that it's all a myth to begin with, OR they say something about a film or television show character. Absolutely frustrating. How is it, precisely, that I'm not allowed to pick my own descriptors?

[@term25600]

I am 75 and KZbin has helped me to understand that I have always been a bit aspie and didn’t know it. I remember things in pictures and always have. I like to work alone. I don’t like useless noise. When working on electronic or mechanical problems, I imagine I am inside the devices in order to help figure out how they work (or don’t work) I like to be left alone to work on problems. I invent things in dreams. I am ok with total silence. I don’t really enjoy most social situations, being very tiring for me. I like wearing hoodies. I always considered myself a bit different from most people, but I never thought of it as bad. I guess I was lucky that way. Anyway I appreciate videos like yours

[@kgs2280]

I think a lot of people think ASD is the same, or almost the same, as Down’s Syndrome, which usually does have a “look”. So that’s probably what they’re thinking. I used to work at a residential school for Down’s kids and some Autistic kids, but the school even referred to itself as a school for Autistic kids. There’s a HUGE difference. But times have changed, and as you said, education is the key. Someday, hopefully soon, a lot more people will begin to understand the differences and the symptoms of both. Good video. Thanks.

[@moosebait2281]

I got diagnosed today with autism and in the process of adhd and iv already had it said already to me 😒 Great video by the way 🙂👍

[@Westly.3]

I get the ‘you don’t look autistic’ a lot and I take that moment to educate those willing to learn more and explain how I have managed in the past to mask the fact. For others who are ignorant or unwilling to learn I just say ‘yep I am and nothing will change the fact my brain is wired differently as I was born this way and will continue to think, act and communicate differently until the day I die.’ Some have walked away by that stage or look the other way. Those people don’t really deserve my time but I try, perhaps 🤔 some day they will come around and be more accepting of diversity in general, one can only hope.

[@GNARPYisSoPreppy]

I’m a single mum of 2 with autism and I am studying at Uni- I get a lot of this phrase “are you sure?” Either the judgement of whether I actually have it or the shock that I’m a mum and studying! X

[@Synchrodipity]

I'm in the middle of assessment (1 session to go) and having to be very mindful about who I tell now -- one friend was _"I'll eat my hat if you're Autistic!"_ while another was like _"Well I'll be surprised if you're not!"_ -- there have been other comments too; like everyone has an opinion regardless of their qualifications or experience! It's actually made the assessment process harder as I now feel like I'm fighting to prove a point!

[@lisabarellano6654]

Dan I want to thank you for the content you create. My grandson who is 8 has high functioning autism and ADHD. He sees you as an adult with the same challenges and says I can be like him. He’s not different. So I’m not different either. I can grow up and do a lot. So again thank you 😊

[@kimmymc1992]

I’m currently getting my 8 yr old daughter assessed for autism but the woman I spoke to on the phone basically said she works well in school even with lack of eye contact with everyone so there for she’s fine makes my blood boil feel like I’ve hit a brick wall so these videos are really interesting for me so thanks you.

[@somethingsomethingname]

I absolutely feel your pain. We were fortunate to have a school with staff that truly cared and wanted to accommodate, but they often couldn't get past the fact that my son was a straight A student and was so well-behaved. When those traits were actually stemming from his autism and the desire to follow orders and instructions. He stopped going to public school during 7th grade, we just couldn't push him to "try" any longer - he was exhausted and had tried as much as he could and we were only hurting him at that point. I'm thankful we are in a situation where we can now do 100% online for him - he's in 9th grade now and his quality of life is so much better. Sorry, I have no idea why I felt the need to ramble on....good luck to you and your daughter.

[@kimmymc1992]

@@somethingsomethingname it’s a shame they have to go through so much stress just to get the extra support they may need I’m daughter has a lot of different traits but because they are not seen in school then she’s fine even tho both her teachers have said of the no eye contact she is easily distracted her eating is awful as she will only eat certain things she struggles with textures and at least 6 days out of 7 we have a massive melt down around 5 -6 pm there is loads of things but this support worker in school seems to think she’s fine it’s so frustrating for both her and me and my son . So glad your son is happy now seems like I’ve got a long rd ahead xx

[@somethingsomethingname]

@@kimmymc1992 My son is at the age where he is much more self-aware and it has pros and cons. It does cause some self-esteem issues because he understands that logically he should eat better and more variety of foods, but every day he only eat scrambled eggs with toast, tater tots, and green apples. Sometimes mac and cheese. When he was in elementary, it was only mac and cheese. And his meltdowns were around the same time starting in 3rd grade and progressively worse in 5th grade to where we had to take him out for the last half of the year. We learned the melt downs were the only way he could effectively communicate his suffering, it's heart breaking. They aren't acting out because they are spoiled or entitled, it is simply their way of communicating how much they're going through. It sounds like you are a loving, supportive mother and your daughter is lucky to have you.

[@kimmymc1992]

@@somethingsomethingname I will do anything she needs to get her the help and support she needs I’m a single mum of a 15 yr old son and 8 yr old daughter who are my life she’s struggling with a lot of things at the min so I am going to make an appointment with our gp I’m not going on this support worker the sooner I get this sorted for her the better I know I’ve a battle ahead but I’m behind her every step of the way. It’s so hard for them to get across what they really want to say or do when all they need is help and support I e noticed more during lockdown with her as I’m around her all the time now she’s finally back at school she’s finding it hard wish there was more I could do to help her xx

[@PrincessDevine]

In our families experience a diagnosis isn’t a magic wand for access to services. Unfortunately it’s a postcode lottery. Only because my granddaughter has deteriorated so much because of COVID that some things are changing, not enough or fast enough. My granddaughter was “officially “ diagnosed at 5 but everyone knew from around 12 months old. She’s remarkably gifted academically and that went against her at first because she was hitting and surpassing the school work but was becoming catatonic at the end of most days because of so much varying stimulation. It took my daughter moving house to get an education plan but all that did was place her in a totally inadequate school. My daughter is moving house again to move into an area with robust services. I can honestly say I feel heartbroken most days because our beautiful child is being hurt because of a lack of services she is entitled too and my daughter is fighting all the time.

[@katielangsner495]

Even epilepsy presents differently in different people; in fact people with epilepsy may have unrecognizable seizures (perhaps they stare into space instead of having a grand mal), but you don't have to see someone have an easily recognizable seizure to accept that the person has epilepsy. With epilepsy as with autism, the issue is not how constantly a person has recognizable symptoms but how consistently a person is at higher risk for symptoms due to neurological differences. Also, the risk to the individual with the condition, not the effects on society, are what are at stake for a diagnosis.

[@denisebuethe9462]

35+yr old female in the process of getting my diagnosis here...it FUCKING SUCKS when friends and family are like, "hmmmm"... BTW, I live in the states 😔

[@lillynatal.]

Good luck :)

[@nykolhaebrd]

Stay strong. The process is looong. I've just gone through it myself at 33.

[@mylexnet]

Thank you for your videos, I learn al lot. I told my psychiatrist how I see the world, he told me that autistic people see the world like that. I have a diagnosis of BPD, and so he told me, it can't be autism as autism is not comorbid with the cluster B. I know there is an overlap and recent studies show that they actually can be comorbid. I told my psychologist the more I watch videos about autism, the more I believe I could be on the spectrum. She told me "I can't see it in you and I don't feel it. Normally you can feel autistic persons". That makes me sad. Anyway I asked for an assessment. It would explain so many things.

[@TheAspieWorld]

Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

[@VanessseXY69]

@Lexy Lex That's so sad. A psychiatrist should know better than saying insulting BS like that. You should report her or I wish it was a thing to report psys. You told her you finally found your identity and she tells you she disagree. I can't imagine how many LGBTQ people she dismissed and how many took their lifes and this is what comes to my mind every time I hear something so ignorant from a specialist or Dr. I would like to be prepared what to say if it happens to me, something like ''I don't see a very well educated psycologist in front of me and if you were I would feel it but you are not ! Have a nice day !

[@ceruleanvoyager1847]

A spectrum of support needs, is such a good descriptor. I cannot convey how discouraged I get when people tell me you don’t look autistic. I think some even mean it as a compliment. But what really pushes me over is when, after I try to point out why that comment is toxic I get the: “well but aren’t we all a bit autistic really.” That’s the convo that has me running for the hills. I edited because I’m trying not to swear. It’s a process. Specially with things that anger me.

[@VanessseXY69]

I can relate so much with each or your words. Both with Autism and chronic pain. I feel like they are the ones who deserves Chronic difficulties in every aspect of their life not me. It gets easier with time but then I make the mistake of making friends and then get hurt more every time quicker. Told a friend about my chronic pain and autism and he send me a list of symptoms that anxiety can cause and the only thing I have is anxiety... I feel destroyed I told him He can't be my friend anymore and he doesnt understand why because he says its his opinion that he doesnt believe things like that without proof. If its invisible its not true !!! I wish I had a machine to plug our brains together and make them feel what I feel in my body and my MIND all the time. They wouldnt last an hour. But I am also happy that I am me and not them. Im so thankful of that lol

[@ceruleanvoyager1847]

@@VanessseXY69 Hang in there. Ignorance is abundant and the costs if it are not readily apparent. I have fibromyalgia and had to fight years to get diagnosed. Even doctors weren’t buying my pain was real. And chronic pain is comorbid with anxiety and depression. So it can be a bit of an egg-chicken situation... I really don’t care for any beliefs system that doesn’t include compassion as a basic tenet. Take care and try to surround yourself with people who care for you and elevate you.

[@VanessseXY69]

@@ceruleanvoyager1847 Thanks for your reply. There is a point I wish youtubers were talking about its the fact that we really need a compassionate surrounding and we are accused of isolating ourselves but for me at least it is way more damaging to be rejected by friends or being told ''You cant be in so much pain or the drs would do something so it cant be'' I was even told ''think about your kids'' I just cannot believe that person really thought I was just pretending to be hurt Its very destructive to be told such things. Its easier but not without consequence to just stay alone than trying again and ending up hurt more every time. It takes so long to know if someone will be supportive as a friend and it feels like a huge waste of time and commitment. It makes me want to send a questionnaire to anyone who seems to want to be my friend, not kidding !

[@jackass1346]

Hey I've been recently watching your content and they been good so far. As an autistic person myself, hearing someone say" you don't look autistic" is so tiresome. I would just challenge their supposed knowledge about autism. On a sidenote, I really hate people keep using minorities as a tool for their bullshit. I never really felt accepted in this community and never will so I just in the sidelines. I don't want to take part of these crazy controversies.

[@SylumSolosEverything]

Unrelated to this specific subject, but it just came to my mind while I was watching and thought it'd be funny to share. When I was suspected of having ASD by my therapist and psychiatrist and they said the word "Asperger's" for the first time, I couldnt contain myself from laughing because while i *cognitively* knew what they were talking about, my brain still registered the word as "ass-burgers." Like putting your buns between some buns. It made me laugh for a solid minute and kept me amused for like a whole hour later. I'm a mature adult, I swear.

[@murielbilly4296]

I agree, awareness is really important. Even more for the medical world. It happens sometimes that some doctor or nurse etc, doesn't believe me. They give me a strange look, or ask me who told me that. It makes me crazy. About people saying that, I understand that it means they want to stop the conversation, and don't want to know more.

[@VlacqKayal]

I would want to reply with “someone more qualified than you” but I’d never have the guts to say that. Maybe “the consultant psychiatrist, after an in-depth assessment” is sassy enough but doesn’t come across as TOO rude. 😉

[@susantaylor4079]

Truth! I was in a MVA years ago and have some major physical problems because of it. People have followed me into stores and asked me what my disability is! As far as my Asperger's, I've had doctors tell me, after meeting me for 15 minutes, that they don't think I am. I've had several surgeries and the pain afterwards was over the top and I shut down to cope - so in the follow-up the doctor said he was told by nurses that I didn't seem to be in much pain! You would THINK people would know better. Doctors often don't believe me because my facial expressions? Must be as I cannot figure out any other reason why they wouldn't. That plus I don't lie or exaggerate and I guess most people do. You would THINK people would know better. But they don't. I try and remind myself that most people are average (100 IQ) and that half the population has less than 100 IQ. Still, you would think.

[@iceydiamond9992]

When I asked to be referred for a diagnosis myself as an adult, my GP asked if i had many friends, i answered yes and she replied "well you can't be autistic then!" aarrrggghhhhhhhhhh

[@HeatherGrace]

Yup. I'm verbal and female, therefore I can't be... Uuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh

[@iceydiamond9992]

​@@HeatherGrace It just blows my mind how little people know about it :( and there are SOooOOOo many of us, everywhere! x

[@HeatherGrace]

@@iceydiamond9992 my therapist insisted I cannot be autistic bc I'm married... uh... um... maybe my therapist needs a different job 🤦‍♀️

[@typicalcookies8123]

@@HeatherGrace i think she should not get a new job, her ignorance could be carried into other jobs 😬 she should just stay in her house

[@typicalcookies8123]

@@HeatherGrace same🙃 I am scared to go to my gp but I kind of want a diagnosis so I can get help

[@frankythomas5881]

This drives me crazy. Oh well u seem fine to me. Ahhhhhhhh! thank u for this vid Dan. I've had people say it to me and about my son.

[@madisonvens7562]

I agree with you completely. Because I worked with special needs patients I understand how to tell if someone is autistic. But I didn't get that by education I got that from working with people with autism.

[@solunasassoon]

I had a boyfriend who worked with kids with autism and he told me I should get tested.

[@madisonvens7562]

@@solunasassoon when my cousin was three I told my uncle he should get him tested for autism. My uncle yelled at me. However my suspicions were right. My cousin is doing better now with the resources he needs. It's been five years now.

[@theautonomousautie8398]

I love this! Thanks for supporting and representing us!

[@BarnabyPerrinAldous]

"but you can talk" - someone, to me, confused upon discovering my diagnosis.

[@ThomCurley]

'you don't look ignorant, but you still are' classic. Excellent response. Since my diagnosis with Aspergers and ADHD I've been met with equally well meaning but often offensive stupid remarks like that too. We need to get better representation out there.

[@nykolhaebrd]

I was recently diagnosed with Autism at the age of 33. For the past 3 years since I first suspected, my parents constantly told me that I didn't look autistic, or that I was super high functioning and shouldn't seek a diagnosis. Thanks so much for this inspiring video!

[@sable4492]

I also share your videos alot because I feel people who know me can learn more about me from these. Sometimes I suck at getting people to know me.😳😣

[@RoseJ143]

I have gone through the same with my grandchildren

[@psydemekum]

Uff, jumped back couple times as i watched the video. was like u are so near u want it to whisper it into my ears. respect my personal space plz ^^ The rest is great. Im on the ADHD spectrum and had similar conversations. But often i hear "oh but is ADHD not a gift, they are so creative and such are they." ...

[@fenlandwildlifeclips]

It worries me that I've never had this comment but I do get "you're okay because you're an aspie alot, despite not ever being diagnosed with aspergers & never telling anyone that I have!

[@kayazzara108]

There are so many jobs where people need way more emotional education to SAFELY manage other people. A 3rd grade teacher has more education and compassion to recognize and interact with an person with Aspergers than any health people processing you thru their system.

[@nykolhaebrd]

I agree 100 percent. At schools and at minimum wage jobs. I'm autistic and often have panic attacks at job interviews. I'm going to start occupational therapy.

[@KarboniteKyla]

2:18 I’ll use that next time someone says that to me xD

[@Wolf-Ishkode]

I'd be a millionaire! I've been told this almost every day of my life.

[@adriannaduncan1942]

Yep, my psych absolutely doesn’t believe I am but she is still telling me that she does support and encourage me to go get an assessment done (ADHD is her specialty). I do appreciate that she’s not telling me not to do it but it took me 10yrs to get my ADHD-i diagnosis because I mask insanely well. So I consciously know that she’s not against me but all my brain wants to register is ‘I don’t believe you and I’m not going to without the diagnosis.’. I’m so tired of having to prove myself to every person I talk to. Trying to explaining things I’m just now starting to understand isn’t my strong suit, the minute I say something to someone and it’s not perfectly by the book I have to spend hrs trying to backtrack because they now have to “educate” me. I now have nobody that I feel comfortable talking about this with, I have a fear of getting judged if I mess up and then having it used to discredit everything else I say.

[@stephengarforth2753]

had someone at a job agency say that to me as well as telling me to my face that i don't have anxiety. i encounter that kinda stuff at my place of work as well. no one believes that i have anxiety or autism.

[@jimmyp7358]

You verbally express your thoughts so well, I wish I was like that. I find it so much easier to use written communication, and I express my thoughts so much better. When I speak I trip over myself and just complicate the most simple of things!

[@adriannaduncan1942]

Yep, my psych absolutely doesn’t believe I am but she is still telling me that she does support and encourage me to go get an assessment done (ADHD is her specialty). I do appreciate that she’s not telling me not to do it but it took me 10yrs to get my ADHD-i diagnosis because I mask insanely well. So I consciously know that she’s not against me, she just doesn’t see it but all my brain wants to register is ‘I don’t believe you and I’m not going to without the diagnosis.’. I’m so tired of having to prove myself to every person I talk to. Trying to explaining things I’m just now starting to understand isn’t my strong suit, the minute I say something to someone and it’s not perfectly by the book I have to spend hrs trying to backtrack because they now have to “educate” me. I now have nobody that I feel comfortable talking about this with, I have a fear of getting judged if I mess up and then having it used to discredit everything else I say.

[@vinnyhydeswt]

Great video! I can relate to all those saying verbatim. I have a question though. Do you happen to have any advice as far as common sense. I looked up “symptoms” or struggles with autism. One such issue is lack of common sense. I saw that in myself. I don’t always know what to do or say at the right times, and I am not great with making split decision - I suppose, the right decisions at the right time. Thx again for the video!

[@impalaman9707]

I'm a little chubby, but I have a great voice, because I was a Disc Jockey. So what you're saying reminds me of what I would get all the time--I'd call up a girl, and I would describe my looks, and she would say "well, you don't TALK FAT!" and I just told her straight up, "okay, what's a fat guy supposed to talk like---John Candy?" I'm glad I didn't meet her because she would have been really disappointed. But I know what you mean, because I also have Asperger's. And all my relationships would start out great on first impression, but girls would always break up with me, because---weeks or months later, they'd be thinking: "Wait a minute---there's something MISSING with this guy---something isn't quite right with him" and then I would be dumped, because they didn't really understand me. Funny enough, the only good relationships I've had with the opposite sex have been with women who were bipolar or manic-depressive. I'm not sure why. On the surface, that would almost be like "oil and water". If this were the Three Stooges, She would be Moe and I would be Curly.

[@phoenixlikethebird142]

Thanks for making super informative and fun videos

[@Vihspac]

I am so tired of this. A few days ago , a friend of mine , a doctor , told me : "you are not autistic, that is a social construct". My dad told me "you are not autistic, i know you, you have friends and speak very well!! . Aggg , i've been diagnosed just a year ago , it helped me so much but that comments feeds a lot of doubt and guilty . My family even told me that a im using it as an excuse to stay more time alone. it sucks .

[@julianstudebaker1006]

My favorite response was 'Sorry, I forgot my stained clothes and safety helmet at daycare'.

[@tracynottage356]

Thankyou Dan, I totally agree with you 😊 👍

[@carrierodriguez9451]

Ahh yes and movies like Music don't help this as well. 🤔🤔

[@hblackburn5580]

I'd rather have a pound than a dollar. But we definitely DON'T look like Music lol.

[@maestro-fifa4446]

I have a diagnosis of ASD yet some days I just don't seem that I am. Anyone else relate?

[@MissingRaptor]

That's the impostor syndrome at play. It makes you question if you really are what you are sometimes :(

[@maestro-fifa4446]

@@MissingRaptor What should I do?

[@MissingRaptor]

@@maestro-fifa4446 when this happens to me, I try to remind myself of the days where it's obvious that I am not NT. Having a therapist to talk to can be a huge help and they can give ideas for coping strategies until you find what works for you. Also, remember that just because this is a "good" day (a day where you don't feel like you are ASD or where you don't look like you are to other people) doesn't mean that every day is like this and you will feel the ASD more on other days. It seems kinda pessimistic on the outside, but I find that it feels more realistic to me. This is what I do and it helps me. However, you and I are different, so if this doesn't work for you, I encourage you to keep looking for other ways to cope as we are all different and we benefit from different ways of doing things.

[@funkyart1020]

This is the essence, it is very frustrating indeed. People in Belgium don't really know what Aspergers is....., and THEY think I'm a crazy woman. I'm always too honest, too spontaneous and I have trouble lying... People assume I am a very strange artistic weird person, they just don't know what Aspergers is, it even resulted in parental alienation syndrome... Understanding what Asperger is, would help us a lot to be an asset in society and not being anxious. Greets from Belgium !

[@mrrise103]

You are the best Dan, we love your content and I personally am super gratefull for your time and effort spent making your videos

[@MsDamosmum]

Genuinely laughed out loud at ‘you don’t look ignorant, but you still are!’ 😂🤣😂🤣

[@petercdowney]

I'm employed as a Learning Support Assistant at a further education college, and have worked with many students on the autism spectrum. It's not so much appearance, but rather how they think and act. I find that it's sometimes more obvious than others. There are some students whose autistic traits are obvious, and some who have very few, if any, noticeable autistic traits. I'm on the autism spectrum myself - I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at a young age. I have quite a few noticeable autistic traits.

[@songbird716]

My brother doesn’t look like he’s autistic. But he sure acts like textbook autism. Limited word skills but he has memory retention. He knows the ingredients for certain foods he likes. For example: pancakes… he will lay out everything to make pancakes or bring our mom’s purse and shoes to her. Then ask, “Take a ride?” Over and over waiting to go out. We had never heard of autism. My brother got sick when he was a baby & was in the hospital with double pneumonia. It was assumed that he had brain damage. He was finally diagnosed with autism as an adult. It would have been great to have the information we have now back then. All 3 of my boys are on the spectrum. 2 also with ADHD. Youngest is 14.

[@tashiadanielle2839]

Good advice, I try to take the educating route as well.

[@danielradcliff7081]

Meow I agree it doesn’t have a look

[@zzz2302]

Thank you for your channel. I have struggled throughout my life with social anxiety among other symptoms without a diagnosis (I am 56). I can relate to these videos. One trait related to obsessive focus is TV watching. I become so engrossed that I don't hear anyone around me and I love to watch the same thing over and over. I do that with music as well - listening to the same song over and over without getting bored. To me, it is soothing. It also makes a great party trick - I can identify a Star Trek (original series) episode by name by just looking at a few seconds of the episode. Keep up the great work.

[@rossb7899]

This is fantastic. I can’t stand hearing this. Or we are all a little autistic. Ugh. I teach special needs students and my fellow teachers say I can’t be autistic because I’m not like our students. Really frustrating.

[@melanieanneforbes5068]

Yes! I talk I'm fine with some noises , I can cook and clean and take care of myself I can learn , I make strange noises and faces for no apparent reason . It sometime take me a little bit longer to do things . And I have Autism and a learning disability and A.D.D that I'm aware of .

[@frydishagvar6408]

I agree!

[@riomalcolm5339]

If I get told one more time I don’t look like I have Aspergers and ADHD I will go mad. Love these videos just found the channel, absolutely brilliant videos. Helps me to understand myself more 😊

[@pokelector3577]

“You don’t look autistic” I absolutely hate that word. Autism isn’t a disability it’s a different ability. And it’s so annoying when people say that tto me!!!!!!!!¡😭😭😭

[@robokill387]

I mean, it is a disability. Disability is not a bad word.

[@foxyp4284]

Absolutely fantastic video! Thanks for the help in addressing this issue for fellow autistics! It’s handy to have a resource bank for us to pre think our responses to this infuriating comment! xx

[@LunarFrequenciesHD]

Finally, no one can disagree with this!!!

[@TheAspieWorld]

Thank you ✌🏼💚. Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).

[@LunarFrequenciesHD]

@@TheAspieWorld yep, reminders, for a few things, are certainly welcome and helpful!

[@MsDamosmum]

We aught to start saying to them ‘You don’t seem neurotrophical to me. I mean your not like Sally or Gemma and they ARE neurotrophical’ 😂🤣😂

[@SirNancelot]

Autism imposter syndrome is real. Like, we struggled so much and are finally getting help, and now...that. I always love your videos. Thank you for bringing awareness to this topic!

[@kaishawna3753]

Most people say this because they think that autism only happens with white young men who stim all the time and have “obvious” signs. I’m female and I get told I’m not autistic because I don’t show the signs of stereotypical behaviors of autism. I’m effing autistic!!

[@Moana_moo]

I am 100% sure i’m both autistic and have adhd i am 18 and not diagnosed with neither. The thing is they really balance each other so much like autistic ppl prefering routine and stability? My adhd ass does things randomly and craves changes however not forced they have to like from me. And i ain’t much a routine follower i just do what i am in the mood for and am pretty impulsive.My adhd loves to talk and i can talk all day if i Could however in a big group or when i’m overstimulated i am just really quiet and more absent minded and zoned out than usual. My mom tells me i can’t possibly be autistic bcuz i love to talk and i’m a good story teller and my issues with food(very picky eater) is just cuz i’m spoiled and tells me i can’t have adhd bcuz i focus well on what interests me and i’m shy(the fact i have adhd was implied by teachers and a lot of ppl but my mom thinks i’m just spoiled and autism wasn’t but i mentioned it too my mom and again just spoiled too picky and dont have good social skills bcuz i’m too insecure and don’t hang out too much)

[@ally88350]

Most of the people who accept it automatically are most of my coworkers and classmates at college (associate's and bachelor's)

[@achristianautisticchannel]

My mom's ex boyfriend always told me that I wasn't autistic because I was smart and felt as anyone would confused and guilty and for a long time I had imposter syndrome and even today it's affects my self esteem and confidence and keep on telling myself I'm not dum because I thought people with autism had to be to low iq to be autistic man there's not a good way to say that but now I learned that I can be smart and autistic at the same time

[@gracelaw1985]

I get that A LOT. Especially when I am in a work setting that I am acting 😑 maybe my acting is too good that my boss actually let me be the MC of a conference with 70-100 people 😖 in the end, I did that ..... until towards the end of the session I rushed to the toilet with super stomachache 😖😖😖😖 My autistic behaviour would usually show at home or with family and friends that knows me so much. On the other end if I am in the office, people might notice that I crack my fingers (stim) a bit much, and that’s about it

[@Lycantis]

That droplet of spittle that landed on the lens at 1:44 drove me nuts until it evaporated... One of my autistic quirks is not looking in eyes, so I can't look at people who move their head a lot because their eyes come into my field of view and I can go into a meltdown if it's done too much, intentionally, or for a long time. But, I can relate to this so much and I want to slap people for saying this. It's incredibly rude and if society would actualy teach about these things and not just mention them, we'd see a very different reality.

[@user-zw6is6ng4r]

My favourite response is " I can't see your brain but I assume you have one"

[@RaurXDberry]

I found your stuff yesterday ...2 days ago ? Idk But I love your video it help alot I love learning about this kind of stuff so I know more about it and my cousin has it and I wanna learn more and my brother might have it so I wanna know , and you taught more the last 2 days about stuff then my teachers has all year

[@donnarainey9178]

I agree 💯

[@suribuxton9079]

When you have heard that line so much you just start laughing at the person who said it

[@Tazer_Silverscar]

I'd love to have resources available about my form of autism, but because I feel I have multiple co-morbidities that I feel might stand out more, I'm not sure I have an easy to hand way to explain my struggles.

[@raquelsandobal3595]

People say that about my 6 year old son “ oh Logan doesn’t look autistic it’s gets me upset 😡

[@suribuxton9079]

Trust me it doesn't ever end. At least for me. Diagnosed at 12, 20 now and I literally cannot convince anyone that Im on the spectrum

[@lisaclarke4617]

This really helps thanks

[@ArtisticSpectrumDisorder]

Yeah, I totally have imposter syndrome because when I think of an autistic person, even *I* think of rain man. But also.... I know everyone else is thinking of Rain Man. I do try to wear my autism badge where I can though, to repressent.

[@almaresonante6796]

HAHAHAH you don't look ignorant but you are. I'm going to steal that quote when needed!

[@galayoona]

Well i think people just want to give you compliment when say that.. :))

[@ally88350]

Would you believe that my best friend... who had to move halfway through freshman year... When we were juniors I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome... I called and told her she didn't believe I had it because she had it and I didn't portray it... I told her I was diagnosed by a professional.... The only time she made me mad

[@MrJovagu]

Hi Dan. I posted a video on FB Where you and a few other people talk about autism awareness. Its the first time I go fully public about my diagnosis so its going to be very intresting what kind of reactions im going to recive.

[@PabloFantastico]

Hey Dan. I hear you frustration although I think Aspies have a certain look in their eyes or (one of their eyes).

[@reminiscingyesteryear6052]

People have said the same thing to me. They are just plain ignorant and do not know what they are talking about. Yes. It is offensive and very annoying.