You Only Die Once, Do it RIGHT | Against Medical Advice 043

[@vaporosoez]

That poem really should be published as a book.

[@madison8568]

So about 4 months ago I was told I don't have any other options left and with the path I am on I will die much sooner then other (I am currently 19), once my dad heard this news we went down to the hospital cafeteria (I was in the hospital inpatient) and we had a very hard conversation about what I want in terms of end of life care and what happens after I die because he wants to make sure my wishes are met and that they do what I want. I commend my father because he had to ask his 18 year old daughter what I wanted at the end of my life if/when that time comes. He made an effort to make sure he knew what I wanted. At this point realistically I will die before my parents with the conditions I have and with how many medical interventions I have right now (I am on TPN, have a feeding tube, and ileostomy) a lot of wish could be considered life-prolonging. So that night I took out my computer opened up a new document and I wrote down everything I wanted in terms of end of life care and funeral arrangements. I then had to go tell all my friends and family that I am going to die a lot sooner then most, those were some of the hardest conversations of my life

[@americaneclectic]

Madison, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. You are a very brave young lady. May God grant you a miracle!

[@fry6344]

You sound like a wonderful person. Good job on being so strong 😀

[@RLybarger1986]

Please write down what you wish people knew about life. Just write. Anything, everything.

[@nicholasstephens8732]

Prayers for you and your family. Agree with Russell, write, write, you are well spoken, share with your family, share with the world.

[@madison8568]

Thank you all so much!

[@TimelessjewelbyDebra]

My family knows my wishes..as a hospice vigil care volunteer I totally understand what loved ones go through.

[@kymberlyp4056]

As a pediatric Hospice and palliative RN, thank you so much for supporting us and the patients. We couldn’t do what we do without you and you are a critical part of our team. ❤️

[@nancycurtis3964]

That rhyme needs to go viral.

[@laurenholm8182]

That poem covers my wishes perfectly, too!! Is there a way to get a copy of it? I have a “middle of the road” autistic child who I will likely care for until I die, and even though he could never be my proxy, it sure would help him better understand what was happening when I do pass.

[@jacquel2ne]

POLST forms are so simple and fine!!! This RN can drop some really sick rhymes 😂👍

[@WolfieRAWKs]

That poem/mad rhymes gave me a terminal case of the feels.

[@shaylamcginness436]

That rhyme definitely hit me right in the feels. 😭

[@Poptartles]

I really love the specific choices involved with the order. My husband's step mother passed away last April from Peritoneal Carcinomatosis. The night she woke up unable to breathe, my father in law called an ambulance. There was a mistake in communication, and they did a full resuscitation on her at the hospital after she coded. When she was alert, she cried because she never wanted to be saved, she was ready and wanted to go. My father in law has felt guilty about allowing them to resuscitate her because he honestly didn't know she was done fighting. This would have been a great way to ensure she got what she wanted, and my father in law wouldn't have had so much guilt on his shoulders.

[@pamelakefalas8495]

Amazing stuff.

[@lynnmcpherson7820]

That was FABULOUS! Required viewing for my students!

[@Elbimon]

Any chance that Tim Boon, RN would share the text of this poem?

[@jasminaalm]

I'm a cancer patient , I just filled out my POLST. Peace of mind .

[@michaellundphotography]

This episode is SOOOOO GOOD. Hilarious and informative. Good job =). I recently started seeing a therapist for some similar issues and shared this with her. Hopefully we'll both spread some awareness of our normal, yet improvable condition =)

[@spaight711]

Advanced Directives aren't just for old people. We can, and should, start discussing this topic with patients in pediatric primary care, both with patients and parents. You can carefully write a living will that both preserves every effort to resuscitate and treat an acutely ill or injured young person without sacrificing the dignity of the person in the unlikely event that they become chronically ill and unable to advocate for themselves.

[@smoupnhoize]

It seems the people don't want to talk about death. In my family, it was talked about openly. That might have been because so many people died. Anyway, I was the decision maker for my dad and my aunt. Since we had talked about what they wanted, I have no guilt for anything I did. I did what they wanted.

[@toshchak]

Way to go doc!! Feel that my comment was heard. Important discussion

[@melindatintle9728]

*standing ovation*

[@helgabluestone2407]

Absolutely correct!

[@jimmagwojo2718]

A very subtle word. Nice going team

[@activeobserver6503]

Tim Boon's rhyme is dime!

[@sainteustatious]

Shoutout from Newton, MA lol

[@kellyminid2922]

My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer at 77, and told me she wanted chemotherapy. She told the doctor and the rest of the family too. She was not incompetent in any way. She had the insurance to cover it. I didn't think she would be able to physically tolerate chemotherapy, but it was her choice. The doctor convinced the rest of the family that my mother should not be allowed to have chemotherapy. He put her on enough morphine to keep her knocked out and put her in hospice. He told us she would die in a couple of days. I said no, she was strong, but was outvoted. My mother lived 22 days. I think she lived so long because the fact she was in hospice was kept from her...she was fighting to live while only getting morphine. But then the average hospice stay is 19 days. Anyway, I will always feel guilt for not getting an attorney to fight for my mother's wishes, regardless of the "majority" vote or the fact that her case was pretty much hopeless. It was still HER choice, not doctors, not my family's, not mine. PS There was never any suggestion of fentanyl.

[@nicholasstephens8732]

I am so sorry for your mom's wishes were not honored. For most patients, at stage IV chemo is palliative not curative and only offers to extend life by a few months. A few months of very poor quality life. In the end, yes it should have been her choice. However, it can extend suffering.

[@dsolomon]

One of the nice things Oregon did with their POLST was made it white with a pink border, so it was easier and less expensive to reproduce.

[@knocknockify]

“When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash!” - Frank Reynolds

[@susannebergesen5516]

Seuss-TASTIC!!

[@wendyberger8892]

What happens when we are single with nobody to identify to make the decision? Do we get an attorney?

[@jhmtg8023]

This is a great conversation. A Living Will is helpful to everyone, patient, family, and doctors. This conversation is a lot easier once you've thought these issues through for yourself. Try "Six-Steps Living Will" that you can find at www.6stepslivingwill.org/. POLST, MOLST, and Advanced Directives are different in many states, including the color of paper required for such things as an Advance Directive (yellow - goldenrod - in my state, Florida). Dr. Monica Williams Murphy's (a certified ER physician in Huntsville, Alabama) book, "It's OK to Die." She identifies some topics that make death easier, more guilt-free for those we love that we should all consider in what she calls the "sacred space" at the end-of-life: 1. ask for forgiveness 2. give forgiveness 3. say thank you 4. say I love you, I will love you forever 5. say it’s ok to die 6. say goodbye A dignified, peaceful death is possible, but it does start with knowing what we want.

[@emomuzz5883]

Would you, could you in a truck? Would you, could you with a duck?

[@artgirl96]

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