You're In Danger, Girl: Women Share 🚩&Their Experiences in ABUS1VE Relationships

Welcome.
My name is Imani Forester author of the book "30 Reasons Why Men Deserve Nothing." I'm passionate about opting out of dismantling of oppressive social systems that harm women, kids and families. I'm all for women centering themselves, loving themselves, learning to have standards and boundaries, and creating healthy relationships with others - both romantic and platonic. Let's get the discussion popping in the comments. Don't forget to Like, Comment and Subscribe for more.
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Not a "man-hating" channel. We decenter men here and center ourselves. We also try to wake up sleeping minds of programmed women and girls to reality, so we can ALL experience our most fulfilling lives and enjoy better relationships with family, friends, partners and ourselves.

[@thepragmatist]

One thing I learned is to listen to what guys say when they couch things as a "joke". There was one time I was messaging with someone I knew from my past and, out of the blue, he said, "What if I forced you?" When I didn't respond, he replied, "It was a joke." They're testing you to see what you'll tolerate and what they can get away with.

[@purdyculliz]

Exactly- his mind went to that thought, otherwise he couldn't have come up with the "joke". Someone who cared about you and wasn't a walking 🚩would never have that thought in the first place.

[@thepragmatist]

@@purdyculliz Yes. Exactly.

[@Darkstalker1012]

OHHH!!! These males are getting BOLDER, AND BOLDER by the minute..In what universe, no- in what WORLD is that okay to ask somebody?..Even as a “joke”? Smdh…🤦🏾‍♀️

[@unicorn73212]

Agreed this video reminded me why I left my ex we had that same conversation before I moved out. They will mostly gas light you and make you feel guilty like you just left your son in a hot car..

[@garbargecanjan728]

Oooh this is the one right here! I remember my mom was trying to hook me up with this one guy my age she met in one of her classes. He was talking about hanging out with me to have a drink or a smoke and said "you'll probably be ready to give me some head after that". of course I was livid and went off on him. My pickme mom had the nerve to side with him and say he was just joking and if she was my age she would be all over him. Now what would've happened if I forgave that and went out with him? Trust your gut ladies and never take "jokes" like that lightly!

[@storm_delany894]

'you'll never find someone like me'.... that's the point!! Omg.

[@annmarieknapp]

Yes, men have been told their whole lives that they have more value than women, when that's a lie. Women have been conditioned to believe that abuse is considered love. It's beyond disturbing and I have fallen for this narrative too and I'm a psychologist. Now am happily 4B and see this pattern up front very clearly. I no longer have so low self esteem.

[@cebokazisibiya5808]

😂 are you kidding me

[@Jac527]

When he lists all the good things he ever did for you 🚩🚩🚩. He is collecting your empathy to use it against you to get a pass of his bad behaviour towards you.

[@K9_Queen]

Also anyone listing all the nice things they did for you, is a form of guilt tripping and showing you that they aren’t doing nice things out of genuine love - because when you do things for someone out of genuine love, you expect NOTHING in return. Anyone holding it over your head is a manipulator and needs to be tossed in the dumpster asap

[@beyondallreason-du4pq]

Yep!!! And this is the most dangerous one because it confuses you. ...its to make you feel guilty

[@beyondallreason-du4pq]

​@@K9_Queenwe are on the same wave length. ..when I give someone something its because I appreciate what they did for me, I learnt something great from them, so I don't expect nothing In return..even if we argue in the future I never ask for things back...turns out not all people are that way

[@kiasunray]

This is so true! My narcissistic ex is an excellent cook/grill master. He grilled a lot of food last month. As I was washing the dishes, he leans into me and says: “You know I did this for you, right?” I’m standing there, hands covered in soap with my mouth agape. I’m like…. He said he wanted to grill everything in his fridge before buying more groceries. What, exactly, does that have to do with me? He really didn’t have much I could eat. I don’t eat beef and I knew that chicken was going bad. No, no and NO!

[@eleniglymenaki5977]

They are guilt tripping you.

[@briannaobrien4419]

I forget what older woman said it to me but genuinely saved my life, "if he hits the wall, he will hit you.". I was 18 "dating" a 29 y/o. I say "dating" because apparently I was the other woman, which I only found out later. They were long distance so I genuinely did not know. Months in we got into our first argument, I was upset he left to go home literally every weekend. I felt ignored and like I wasn't worth him spending time with. I mean it was every weekend from COB Friday and he'd drive back Monday for PT. He punched the wall right next to my face AFTER we had had sex so I was naked, very vulnerable. I got my pants on, and finished dressing as I walked the 6 miles back to my barracks. I never saw him again after that. And I was only able to do that because someone warned me, so I want to warn you. If he hits the wall, he will hit you.

[@bbills4186]

This is so true! Everywhere my ex and I lived. He always punched a hole in the wall. 😮. I finally dumped him for good and it's been 25 years now and I never looked back.

[@veganbutterfly3652]

Great you took advice from an older woman. We can save so much time and pain if we follow the advice of the wise ones.

[@poopyshitfart]

I would like to congratulate you for leaving that situation. That decision was one of the most important ones you can make, you chose to put yourself first. You accepted that you deserve more than that. Some people don’t, some people stay for a lot longer and endure that kind of abuse for years, or forever I was in my early 20s, and my ex-bf drugged me and SA me. I remember this look of erratic panic in his eyes when I told him the next day I’ll never drink alcohol again. It was like, “oh crap you know what I did to you last night.” He was so unpredictable, he was terrifying. That pain, fear, and humiliation woke me up, and I am a lot wiser since that night

[@prettytings8216]

Omg i thought hit the wall meant getting old. I'm so out of it.

[@bbills4186]

@@prettytings8216 that's what men think and say that hitting the wall means basically getting old. But for some men they literally punch/hit the wall when they really want to punch you.

[@VioletFlame-Ivy]

Actually, the most abusive guys are often the ones that everyone else loves! So people never believe you about the way he treated you. I remember, my ex, he was very controlling, and he never wanted me to wear makeup, beautiful clothes, or eat specific foods. He would give me the silent treatment for a long time whenever I didn't do what he wanted. Then we would fight every day, and he would blame me for everything.... Called me stupid many times as well. But everybody else LOVED HIM. He was very charming, had a lot of friends, he was very successful, so they all thought that I was the problem. This side of him has never been seen by anyone, so no one believed me. Only I had seen it, and I couldn't understand WHY. It became clear to me then that men don't treat everyone equally. A guy's treatment of his friends and relatives is COMPLETELY different from how he treats you. WHY? He sees them as human beings, and he sees YOU as his possession! He does not need to control them, but he needs EVERYTHING from you! Likewise, he would only show his true colours to his woman! Cuz he is not afraid of her... Search about the biggest psychos out there, u would find that they were often loved and trusted by everybody else.

[@melissa-qe7fp]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@divinealchemy3078]

Yep-covert narcissists!

[@mynameisyamell187]

I know someone similar to that but I’m not interested in him like that.

[@Chitownbabe417]

Mine was exactly the same. Everybody loveeddd him. When I was sad he told people it was my fault, I was in the dog house. (I called him out for mistreating me and he blamed me for his behavior). He was violent with me one last time, I temporarily lost my hearing in one side as a result, I blocked him, changed my email address, and never spoke to him again.

[@krisfinley6706]

Very narcissistic behavior (NPD)

[@tashawilliams8093]

Jealousy is the first sign.

[@kimcham9949]

👍🏾 One of the ways he shows jealously is to put you down and say they're "jokes", "you're too sensitive", "you're 'overreacting'"... Yeah, well... Let it be the LAST "joke". Eff him!

[@DulcesSweets]

And manipulation. Some people try to put ideas in your head to make you second guess your decisions or try to persuade you to do what they want you to do without directly coming out and saying it. Then they say it's not their fault when things go sideways, that was YOUR decision.

[@kimcham9949]

@@DulcesSweets 👍🏾O.M.G! 🎯💯❤️

[@meelahmak]

@@DulcesSweetsyep ! Or they’ll pretend that they aren’t the jealous type to groom your behaviour.

[@SummerOf1987]

@@DulcesSweetsbe aware of co-workers doing that! I just got a glimpse of those evils

[@aniyas_wayy]

I hate that majority of us as women have been through this smh it pisses me off to the core because it’s not fair

[@nikicarrie4071]

I agree

[@SmileyAdventures]

Yeah it’s sad and the data reflects it too.

[@InternetNonsense]

We were conditioned to tolerate this for centuries and now are first generations of even having the means to break free and talk about it openly without being labeled "crazy". Expectations of heterosexual slavery and male-centric self-destructive standards still run deep in culture, society, families. And I agree when it comes to sharing species with males, humans got the worst deal, considering they are our biggest cause of death too. And that does seem unfair. To have attraction to our biggest predators and oppressors by far.

[@aniyas_wayy]

@@InternetNonsense very true !!! And I am raising a son and I pray over him everyday that he will be a good man and not like these narcissistic men. I try to teach him good morals and principles as much as possible as well because that seems to be rare in a lot of these men as well especially when it comes to us

[@rwiley8535]

You are right. Everything Womyn go through in the life, at the hands of men, is not fair. None of this is fair.

[@riochime386]

I remember one guy I was talking to jokingly said he would kill me. It was over the fact I told him I was not going to watch the show he told me to. 😂 He told me he has a dark humor but I wasn’t feeling it. That was the last time we spoke.

[@tashawilliams8093]

💯

[@carina-nonbinary]

Same! I once asked about what he was doing and this was his joke response, that he'd have to unalive me if he told me. He also always told me every joke is holding some truth. Had anxiety for the next few months until the breakup. I was 18 back the and it was my first relationship, if my current partner would tell me this i'd leave immediately

[@JustNishaa]

Your instinct saved your life ❤ Glad you walked away before things started to go left, which they would have bc that guy sounds unhinged.

[@SummerOf1987]

Someone wise once said, that there is a sparkle of truth in every joke.

[@TheAZT3150]

Same with mine. Always joking about killing me and sending me gory videos of real people without my consent and it would ruin my day as the images would be burned into my head. No normal person looks at that stuff daily, let alone sends their gf that stuff. Then he’d say, “that’s what I’m going to do to you.” Completely deranged. Hiding behind his charm in front of others, really makes my stomach churn thinking about him and how I let him devalue me.

[@SmilingAtom0-9]

If you want to live a good life, leave men alone and focus on yourselves ladies.

[@jlovesj3335]

Facts

[@michelledavidson1781]

There is no part of an abuser that actually lives the victim. If it hurts, it's hate, not love.

[@nibirunemi7406]

Free all my girls until they are free!!!! 💕

[@Sheisme120]

When you lose friends due to being with them.🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@Sheisme120]

If everyone in your life dislikes him.🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[@TARAdubbleyuu]

OR everyone in your life just loooooves them lol

[@SimoneGiles-l1o]

In my experience people won't tell you why they don't like him they just start moving away

[@jswan312]

They think they can just wear you down to tolerate their abuse, they have no intention of changing or improving their behavior.

[@Jess-kn8vl]

Until they wear you down and you don't care about being a decent person anymore and your head spins around like the girl in the exorcist movie. Now they are the victim 😒😂

[@ineedhoez]

Another sign is if he steals your food. It is a minute action but it reflects his level of self orientation, a complete disregard for your boundaries, and his desire to dominate you. Also, also... just stay away from takers. That is the simplest way to avoid abuse. Don't do anything for a man. Being a giver means you will attract takers. If you give nothing, you will only attract men who want to be with you for you

[@thepragmatist]

"Being a giver means you attract takers..." This.

[@ineedhoez]

@thepragmatist it goes both ways too! For men and women! Takers gonna take!!!

[@Greenplanet949]

Stealing food! Whenever we’d go out, he’d eat right off my plate, while still having loads on his own. It came to a head when we went to a sushi place. I ordered a few tiny things and he ordered this huge honking platter. When our food came, he was just looking at my plate and took half the food off it. I said Hey! And he got so angry and called me a selfish bitch, proceeding to eat that huge plate of his and my food while glaring at me. I never went to a restaurant with him ever again.

[@meelahmak]

I agree. It’s also important to note that the biggest altruistic “givers” tend to be manipulators and will tally up their good deeds to use against you. There’s just so many levels to everything that the only seemingly “one size fits all” scenario is the book the abusers take their notes from 🫤🙄

[@toasto]

@@Greenplanet949oh my god my ex would do the same thing.

[@myGodmycreator]

When they tell you, you don't need a best friend, I'm your best friend! RUN!!!!

[@nikanikasavina]

Today I was on the bus and a nasty xy was complaining to his friend that his “woman” is “ giving him sh!t” and he doesn’t know why. I thought “ what did YOU do?”. Then he proceeds to tell how he “put her on the floor and sat on TOP of her back”!!!!!!!! What a pos.

[@AmericanDreamer]

🤢🤢🤢😬😬😬💩she needs help ..to het away from him!! wow!!

[@beyondallreason-du4pq]

Ladies...becareful when receiving gifts....sometimes they come with strings attached...just because they give you gifts doesn't mean they are good people...do your research

[@-._.-KRiS-._.-]

I personally hate physical gifts. I just want gifts of time and attention. At least now I know this can be a boundary of mine. If a man can't deal with not giving me physical gifts, then we just aren't compatible.

[@stephanied6711]

Yep happened to me a few times with different people

[@user-qb8qm4mp5n]

Abusive older men seek out young ladies because they think they can get away with their abuse. At 20 I got into a relationship with a man 10 years older. I never questioned why wasn't he with a woman his own age? Because women his own age saw him for what he was, an abuser, and weren't having any of it. I never questioned it also because he portrayed himself as the victim of past relationships. A vast age difference creates a power imbalance, especially if the man is older. By the end of 5 years into it, he literally wanted to unalive me. I got wise and left. Years later he's still chasing and stalking me, which is odd because he hates my guts only because his jealousy is off-the-charts extreme. Red flag, if the man is older and portrays he's the victim, my advice is run, don't walk.

[@SR-mv2mf]

Girl I would advise that you leave the state or heck even country. Some of these guys are very deviant and violent. And be discrete on social media. Unsolicited advice I know but I want you to be safe girls.

[@stephanied6711]

Also the younger guy older women happened to me

[@angelawilliams5153]

I have never been in an abusive relationship that I have definitely been abused by men in the workplace. Or at the very least try to be intimidated. Ladies, use your voices in your relationships. The same way you use your voices out in public. You deserve the space you stand in. I once had a gentleman in a meeting room. He was probably about 6’3” big guy. I’m only 5’2”. He stood over me and leaned over me and was trying to get me to do something that was actually not OK with my employer. There were probably 10 people in the room. The look on his face when I stood up for myself. I literally said “ Excuse me, are you trying to physically intimidate me into doing something that I’m not supposed to do?” He immediately stood up and stopped leaning over me. No one at the table said anything I think they were all a bit stunned. I think it was an eye-opener for that guy. I hope he thought about that later. The rest of the meeting went well. We did what we had to do. I had another meeting where I picked up documents and went straight to this guy in order to explain them to him and have him sign them. I had never seen the documents before all I do is make sure they’re signed correctly. I don’t do any of the paperwork before hand. So I’m reading the documents upside down, So he can see right side up, I miss read one thing. He throws the documents across the table at me. And says maybe you should read these first aren’t you embarrassed? Aren’t you embarrassed that you don’t know what they say? No sir, I don’t get embarrassed by miss reading documents. I’m really sorry if you do. I just received these right before I got here so you and I are seeing them for the first time together. If you’d like to take some time to read them through them, please feel free otherwise I can continue. His wife looked completely stunned. We finished the meeting, no problem

[@mskkiikkiii]

Good for you girl, that’s how it’s done. Call their actions out and move on

[@Sleipnirseight]

Oof, his wife?! If that's how that manchild acts to strangers in public, I can imagine what she's dealing with behind closed doors 😬

[@gardendormouse6479]

They play power games like that. Once, A man at work refused to respect my personal space. I stood my ground and didn't move. He got the idea.

[@SummerOf1987]

Ugh these power games are so lameee

[@ARS-fn6px]

Is he white by any chance and you of color? Im wondering because it sounds like he is jealous of you.

[@aMissAdventure]

THAT PART! Feeling crazy because other abused women tell you its ok

[@tranquility9325]

Gaslighting

[@MsMookalate]

Googling your partner’s behavior is literally saving lives. That’s how I discover Narcissism and it’s through DV. It literally saved us. I got help and therapy for us all.

[@Wavyfeels]

This is how I found out too I googled “using another woman to make me jealous”

[@cruiseny26]

If I could give one piece of advice, and it took me 5 years and 3 attempts to leave to learn and leave for good, is that the honeymoon part of the cycle of abuse is manipulation so that they can continue the abuse. We hold on so tightly to that period of time and think that it is the real him when it’s the very opposite of that. When you realize this, you can let go of the hope, let go of the illusion that you fell in love with and choose yourself. That person is not real. It’s who he tricked you into thinking he was.

[@ineedhoez]

When they flip, you dip!

[@MadamKaiju]

Choose the bear and know what to expect every time.

[@shans1986]

Thats really the problem. They are always testing boundaries and it is exhUsting to always have to keep the boundaries.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

It’s okay to not choose forgiveness it’s okay! You don’t have to wish your abusers well just to seem likable by other people!! It’s okay to be upset or to get over it but still hate them

[@UnrealDreamer3598]

Thank you so much for saying that! I have heard so many people say I need to forgive abusive men in my life. From my personal experience, forgiveness only enables bad behavior.

[@luckycharm1212]

Actually forgiveness means, that we no longer let the abuser or their behaviour affect our mental health negatively. It's taking charge of our lives and moving forward without defining ourselves from the abuser's perspective and by what happened to us. Forgiveness is not simply wishing well to the abuser or forgetting what they did. It's about choosing our own well being than to focus our precious energy on some useless piece of shiit. But we can't force forgiveness. We need to let it happen naturally. And it's ok to dwell on what happened to us but it's wise to question ourselves, "how long am I going to think about this?"

[@ImaniForester]

Absolutely, and anger can be such a righteous emotion that lets us know that an injustice has been done, our boundaries have been crossed. I think as women, a lot of us are socially pressured out of ugly emotions like anger and hatred, but they can truly protect us and remind us that we deserve justice. Hatred is absolutely acceptable to feel towards someone who DEHUMANIZES us.

[@hurtingfeelingsdaily]

I stopped forgiving years ago. I dont owe it to nobody. Ill keep my venom as protection as well 💅🏿

[@hurtingfeelingsdaily]

​@@luckycharm1212no one is owed forgiveness. And ive not forgiven several people and I sleep great at night 💅🏿

[@LearnAsYouGo.]

The last guy I dated was a totally fake person for the first 60 days! Once I really liked him he finally started to display the real him. He pretended to be who he thought I wanted him to be so by the time he started displaying his true self I was confused because I’m thinking WHO is this & where’s the guy I was getting to know for 2 months! He talked me out the kind of dates I enjoyed/was used & took me on the dates that he wanted even though it was things I didn’t like. He was very manipulative & would be mean to me if he didn’t like something I did or if he got mad at me. I left his ass so fast! I’m glad his mask started to slip before I was in too deep!

[@ImaniForester]

I'm glad you got out of there in time too!!!! There's this amazing female dating coach who teaches women to date men for 3 months with no exclusivity, no sex or even kissing (nothing that would distract you or make you overlook parts of the male's personality.) She says that 3 months is usually enough time to really watch the person and see how consistent they are in their words and actions, since a fake person's mask will usually slip or crack by this time. She compared it to the 3 month probation period at jobs. Narcs, con men etc are the reason we have to be so careful when dating. I am glad you're ok 💜

[@FireSilver25]

I’m so enraged that this is so common but I’m soooo relieved we’re all talking about it and educating other women!

[@etherealE777]

I knew it was time to end things when my ex brought up a situation and then told me to just “act like I like it” and that he can “train” me to like it. He’d also playfully put his hands around my neck mid conversation…started feeling like I was in danger. I was like omg this man is going to hurt me if I don’t leave.

[@poopyshitfart]

THIS. I was in a relationship where my ex bf really wanted to choke me, so he started pulling my hand onto his neck first, even though I repeatedly told him “no, I don’t want to hurt you”, and then he would try to do it to me. I was so uncomfortable and I no idea how to stand up for myself at the time I have this distinct memory of him saying he just wanted to see how hard he could squeeze before I would try to push him away, and I had genuine fear because he was unpredictable. He was so fucking scary, I am so glad I don’t have to look at him anymore

[@amypope7933]

Ive been married twice. Im no dummy, pretty savvy to human behavior. But Id def classify BOTH of those marriages as abusive, but in different ways. For the record, statistics show that in 99% of DV, financial abuse is a component, so ladies, guard your finances, always, even when things are good

[@laurayarbrough4646]

Good advice! Thank you!

[@em7937]

This. Men become abusive when they have the financial control. Either by demeaning you, demanding you to do stuff or disrespecting you by flirting with other women and then it goes to cheating. They love seeing you traped and nowhwre to go, when their behaviour clearly is deserving of dumping them!

[@chadguindon6909]

This is one of many reasons why I choose NEVER to have a life partner. Your partner can become controlling, abusive and violent. As a gay man, I have these concerns.

[@MiguelDLewis]

Childhood trauma has galvanized this lust within you, Brother. I too fight against a similar lust. We must repent of this and be born again in Christ. I walked that carnal path and it only leads to heartbreak, loneliness, and venereal diseases. The man you're looking for is Jesus.✝

[@mofrye7109]

@@MiguelDLewisbro you need some therapy to deal with that. Stop projecting your self hatred onto others, you’re spreading hate

[@MiguelDLewis]

@@mofrye7109 You stop spreading hate. No one was talking to you so please keep your Christophobia to yourself.

[@ineedhoez]

Listen, don't let fear run your life. Yes, there are bad people out there. But the reality of why people are in toxic relationships is because they don't have any self-love and they are terrified of being alone. They don't have any boundaries or standards so that's why they end up with trash men. Relationships aren't the problem. Poor evaluation criteria and standards are the problem. Go do your healing work. Heal that codependency. Work on setting boundaries. Work on being your authentic self and communicating your needs. Learn to love yourself enough to meet your own needs. After that, you will be free to explore the possibility of finding an amazing life partner. If you meet a dud, you'll know by the second date, and you move on. Please do not let the fear of getting hurt stop you from exploring a wonderful relationship. I know it sounds terrifying because of all of the bad stuff you see. However, when you listen to every single one of these stories, the person being abused didn't love themselves enough to walk away at the first red flag. Once I did my healing work, my energy changed. I don't even attract trash men anymore. It's an energetic shift and they are repulsed by me! Now, If you choose to be single because you are happier single, that's a completely different story. But please do not be single because you are scared.

[@chadguindon6909]

@@ineedhoez Listen, you think you know me better than I know myself and that is disrespectful. I have known since I was a child that I don’t EVER want a life partner. I am now 40 years old, that hasn’t changed and I don’t see that changing in the future. I can confidently say that I am NEVER gonna have a life partner. Do you not think I have reasons why I don’t ever wanna take that chance? Too many people lie and cheat which could result with diseases. Your partner can become controlling, abusive and violent. Your partner could be falsifying his/her identity and is really committing crimes behind your back. You don’t know what your partner is shooting up with a needle. I like having my freedom and autonomy to do whatever I feel like whenever I feel like. I get to wear the clothes and accessories I like. I get to eat what I like. I get to watch movies and TV shows I like. I have my self-identity to me. I don’t have to buy dinner for 2, movie tickets, wine bottles, flowers and gifts. Overall, I get to focus on my wants, needs, goals and achievements. None of what I said would be possible when you have a life partner because you have to prioritize the other party.

[@UnrealDreamer3598]

I just want to say thank you for making these videos. My dad was abusive to me, my mom, and my sister. He isolated us and gaslighted us so much. He made us think that we are the crazy ones, and that everyone else is normal. Hearing other women telling their stories is very cathartic to me. It makes me feel like I am not alone in my healing journey from abusive relationships. Please keep this up. You need to continue to enlighten women!

[@ItsMeYourfavorite7]

Thank you. This is so important. Women educating other women 💞

[@JustMe-vs1kj]

after a few years of abusive relationship i started to get eczema, it only got worse, until i took a test and found out im gluten intollerant however it didnt show up until after being in an abusive relationship for years!

[@mobutter2879]

Because stress attacks the gut and gut health! It actually dials down the acid in your stomach..doesn’t feel that way. However the burning is due to poor digestion..not excessive acid! That’s what makes our guts porous and more susceptible to leaky gut and gluten intolerance. There is a reason they call your stomach, the second brain.❤

[@nettie444amc]

@@mobutter2879omg you just pieced everything together for me 🤯😞

[@moonlightstargem1006]

The domestic violence hotline doesn’t work. No one answers!!Tried it many times. Tried to call the police. Doesn’t work!! Police do nothing. Sometimes they listen to the abuser & leave & don’t do anything for you. Either they are gone or you’re gone! But someone has got to leave!

[@UnrealDreamer3598]

When my mom called the women's shelter after my dad attacked her, the shelter rejected her call for help. The reason? I still don't know.

[@rebekkagasmi9451]

​@@UnrealDreamer3598Allegedly they're all *overcrowded* ...😳🙄🙈

[@ineedhoez]

They know you aren't going any where.

[@meelahmak]

@@moonlightstargem1006 please do not say this. I am so sorry that this has been your experience. Do not make definitive statements that could possibly cause further harm. There is safety in making those phone calls and receiving the guidance needed to safety. Those in position to help and won’t will deal with their consequences.

[@TARAdubbleyuu]

@@meelahmak The commenter speaks the truth. The hotlines are often not answered at all. If you do get a person on the line, there are zero beds available at shelters. The commenter speaks the truth. When cops are involved, they often side with abusers the way that they did in that Gaby Petito video (likely has something to do with the fact that cops have higher rates of DV than the general population, but I digress). The commenter speaks the truth.

[@Bigglesworth78]

A piece of advice that really helped me end things with my abusive ex was that * it's ok not to get closure*. Don't even bother trying - an abuser won't give it to you anyways - you can create it for yourself. When you know in your heart things are over, please don't waste any time trying to get answers from the abuser. This can be one reason we stay trapped, caught in the cycle...

[@happyd1479]

So happy young women have this info readily available along with women sharing their experiences

[@kimcham9949]

👍🏾🎯💯❤️

[@moonlightstargem1006]

I’d be homeless if i didn’t have my adopted parents home. My family are narcissists. Only the ones i live with. My extended family are all normal people just to clarify so people don’t think I’m exaggerating. They really are narcissists. My father married his father who is my mother. She acts just like my rumored narcissistic grandfather who passed away. My uncle told me. You never get to grow with these people around. You stay stuck in failure because they ruin your sense of self

[@Downwiththatsortofthing]

I’m at the stage now, when I see single homeless men, my 1st thought is “wtf you do?”

[@mrenae6798]

😅😩 exactly

[@kiasunray]

I’ve learned to sniff out hobosexuals real quick. How are you in your 40s and couch surfing??🤦🏾‍♀️

[@user-ip5fm3ck4p]

Same 😂

[@taragrace4656]

​@@kiasunray and 50's!

[@annmarieknapp]

This is why I am 4B!!!!

[@kimcham9949]

👍🏾🎯💯❤️

[@nehanebnica]

me too!

[@joannelewis3390]

I realised I was in an abusive relationship when I was 3 months pregnant. He tied my arms behind my back. He sat on my legs and was screaming in my face saying I was looking at other men

[@loriparks8657]

Hope you got away from him

[@stephanied6711]

Omg i thought my x husband was bad, I'm so sorry this happened to you

[@Quebonitoeslobonito123]

I saw a video by Dr. K on here about the dark side of empathy. And he was talking about how people in abusive relationships tend to empathize with their abuser. I’ve been there and it’s true. You think, “Well, I did do that, which he didn’t like,” and “It’s understandable because he has been treated like trash by other women.” I’ve even seen loved ones do it. Another great point on why we stay, and please hear me out, is that deep inside we are getting something out of it sometimes. Personally, I had a lot of very real and scary life problems going on at the time I got involved in those relationships. The last one, what I was getting was a distraction from those problems. I was miserable. But it was less scary to focus on the problems with him, since I had been abused before, than to deal with the other stuff. Not to mention that they sometimes touch your deepest wounds to keep you hooked and other manipulation tactics. I’m just writing this hoping it reaches the right person.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

They try to make you feel “crazy” so you think you only remember the good stuff. And not the bad stuff. Keep reflecting on the bad stuff hard please! And leave if you can. If you are into the law of attraction manifest them out of your life!!

[@arneliashort4647]

Watch their face when you’re speaking to them. People really can’t hide how they truly feel. Micro expressions are a really thing but you have to pay attention to catch them.

[@egresham02]

My ex is a covert narcissist. Like many of women mentioned in the video the abuse can start out small and grow over time. His negative energy definitely had effect on my mental and physical health. Before my relationship ended, I went to the doctor I told the doctor how I had back pain which I never had before. I started doing therapy at this time. A year later I returned to my doctor to tell her that I no longer had back pain and that I ended my relationship. I now realize that being in a toxic relationship can affect you in ways that you don't even realize. I'm so glad more women are telling their stories and warning other women what to look out for.

[@leannecoffey8964]

lesson learnt, divorced from abusive ex met new man. at new man's house, remarked that I have trouble sleeping without blackout curtains (his room having ill fitting curtains) his reply - you will get used to it ! Knew in that moment this would never develop into relationship I would be happy in.

[@nadiamurchie1949]

enjoying the first year of my life 'being human' .

[@VanessuhVee]

This video has helped me understand I'm not crazy and not alone. Thanks.

[@antriciaking3422]

Mine has all those signs from every testimony but I don’t live with him and am planning an escape but for now I play good girl to keep him cool and protect myself

[@loriparks8657]

Arm yourselves ask questions later with a lawyer

[@pendennis123]

I had a long relationship with a black man (I’m white). He broke my arm once and it went to court. His family, especially his mother, was disgusted that I “grassed him up”. It was clear that they all thought I should’ve just taken it and shut my mouth.

[@veebee9942]

Welcome to the culture of what black women are expected to accept and go through. We are expected to tolerate the abuse and “ hold a good man down”. This is not only preached by the perpetrators mother, but a lot of times by our very own mothers who went through the very same thing as did their mother and their mother and so on. This is why so many African-American women are taking a stand and urging women, especially through social media to get rid of this generations passed down, toxic behavior of tolerating the abuse which nine out of 10 leads to the death of the woman being abused ❤

[@pendennis123]

@@veebee9942 You’re right to take a stand. The incident was horrible but the reactions I got after made it traumatic. It goes on a fair bit within my own race but there’s more outrage from others and there’s a shame attached to being a woman beater. My son and his group of young men dropped a friend out completely for being nasty to his girlfriend. I made sure they knew I was very proud of them. I hope you all win the fight xx

[@veebee9942]

@@pendennis123 sometimes in the black community it’s actually praised and as a woman the more you go through the more badges of honor of being a “ strong woman” you get, fuck that shit fr! Thanks love u continue to fight too so proud of you for reporting his dusty ass! Those are the ones even WE hope the racist cops get ahold of, dark but true🤭😂❤️

[@EtherealSolana]

This is the truth. The whole damn diaspora wants us to protect abusive men. Because calling the cops on their evil behavior towards us, as blk women, is betraying the race. Apparently, THEY are the “community”, not us. Civil rights wasn’t about us either, oh and feminism too…

[@EtherealSolana]

@@pendennis123this is so true! I notice how other men of different communities actually felt more anger and like taking action when it came to their counterparts being attacked. Sorry you went through that. We have a lot of work to do. Changing this starts with us walking away

[@leschatsmusicale]

I took a road trip with an ex several years after our relationship ended. I should have known better, but I thought I would be safer travelling with him than alone. I wanted to drive my own car, but his brother had just paid cash for a brand new car, so we went in that. My ex was obviously jealous of the car and wanted to use it like it was his. He blew up at me for shutting the door too hard. "DON'T TREAT HIS CAR LIKE THAT." Late at night, my ex was driving the car, and took a wrong turn but refused to admit it. We went 30 minutes out of our way before he pulled over in a parking lot. He got out yelling and having a tantrum, beat his fists on the car and kicked it. I was terrified but did my best not to show it. We were hundreds of miles from home and there was no easy way to get away from him. I said I have to go home NOW and I did not budge even though I knew it would just make him angrier to change his plans. He talked trash about me to his brother the whole way back, as if I wasn't there sitting right there in the back seat. That was one of the most demoralizing momemts of my life. When we got back and I was finally safe in my own car, about to drive off, he came up to the window yelling to get his last word at me. He threw a small gift in the car mat me. I left quick and opened it further down the road, it was a very cheap and ugly bracelet and earrings. I threw it away and never saw him again. It had never occurred to me that I was in an abusive relationship when we dated. He never hit me or swore at me. He was just incredibly selfish. When we broke up, he left me standing alone in a parking lot late at night. I told him his heart wasn't in the right place, he said "YOU'RE WRONG" and walked away. When we met up again years later he was acting really nice and kind like he wanted to prove me wrong. That's how we ended up on this road trip together. Once I was trapped in a car with him, he just recreated the scenario where we broke up years earlier in a parking lot and escalated it.

[@rachelross5829]

Woman who are addicted, who come from dysfunction love highs and lows. Peace is not their forte. They need excitement hence why love bad boys. I've worked to hard for years and no one's coming in to disrupt mine.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

My brother doesn’t read the texts i send him he gaslights and acts like i forget stuff

[@annmarieknapp]

Keep the texts so you have evidence that he is abusive and don't question yourself. The gaslighting is over the top.

[@kimcham9949]

Can you screenshot the texts and share to your email? That way, you'll always have them. Or, send the screenshots to others to prove yourself.

[@awaaa4767]

I have such poor tolerance for bs. I block immediately. No time for the 3 days change mascarade to go back to being stupid. I also don’t have sex and never had and will only have if a man feels safe (which could take years). Sending love to all the women that had the misfortune to cross path with bastards that don’t deserve anything.

[@ShesSoDesi]

🥂

[@Revengestar]

My very first early red flag is talking about other women. I don't refer to the known red flag of '''all my exes were crazy", but to a more subtle, CONSTANT mention of other women that he is inserting into the conversation for no reason. For example, you both learn a foreign language and all of a sudden he mentions his -always young- classmate who is with him and messages him a lot on facebook and how they discussed X recently. Once you start dating, he will be triangulating you with ex girlfriends, famous women, dead women, female coworkers, trans women, even fictional women! RUN!

[@ALABRASILIANA]

I had hives in my narc relationship too!!! Like bad and so randomly

[@mrenae6798]

Same!

[@kiasunray]

I’ve never had hives. I started having seizures in April. I don’t have family history with Epilepsy. I had to be monitored in this hospital for a week last month so my medical team could figure out seizure activity was occurring. He came to visit me in the hospital. He pulled a fifth of vodka out of his backpack and asked if I wanted some. I’m like…really?!? I had electrodes taped to my scalp! And hell no, I don’t want any. We broke up a month ago. I haven’t had any seizure activity since.

[@lovedalot]

The skin thing is real 👸🏼🥰

[@PandaHead602]

It’s true yesterday and today is two seperated days … it’s a new day every day remmeber that

[@prettytings8216]

Love makes us dumb and hope is the blind cousin.

[@PeacefulSilence456]

Girl the ending of this video had me clapping!! What you said was so spot on! 👏

[@AltraTara]

He would always tell me how he was a light sleeper and how I disturbed his sleep by moving or waking up in the middle of the night. That evening he decided to cook dinner. It was an omelet where I funnily commented that he put the most random things in. But I ate my plate. That night I tossed and turned and cried and called his name and tried to wake him up to assist me, with no success. Until I went to vomit my guts and finally managed to sleep. Later I discovered he poisoned me with cocaine in that food.

[@nikkiross128b]

😮

[@BeautifulTripsandPlaces]

what.. thats sick, why do people like that even get into a relationship? Why do they get something out of torturing another person? i hope you left that sicko

[@louhortonsculpture]

The part where the man stole the $50 and nobody would say what really happened and it took the woman years and lost friendships to realize what happened. I hope we normalize saying what happened and just accept that the woman will probably be upset and embarrassed in the moment, but I’m not covering up for anyone’s lies. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t have told the truth when asked because “she already knew, she didn’t need you to say it.” Well. I don’t play those games. Ask me a question I’m going to say what I know, and I expect the same from anyone else. Especially a friend. If you ask me a question why would I stop and decided not to answer it because I think it’s a trap? From a friend? I don’t even care if it is. If her blaming me for seeing how bad her man is because that’s the only way she could cope with believing the truth, I’m actually fine with that. Either way you’ve lost the friend at least temporarily.

[@taragrace4656]

Thank you!! Speak the truth. Too many are people so unwilling to do so.

[@penne1050]

I was with someone that I didn't realize was toxic. I start to feel sick to my stomach for months. Couldn't figure out what it was. Every time I knew me and him were going to meet up I would have sharp pains. I was losing a lot of weight, dark circles around my eyes. I was just really sick and exhausted all the time.

[@angieliyah1484]

9:05 OMG my narcissist made me get eczema on my face. Started small and got close to taking up my entire chin and moving to my cheeks. My skin was peeling and bleeding also it would turn purple which was very awkward. I always get compliments on my skin. After we broke up My chin took two months to clear up and has not done that since. When he left I felt a huge sense of relief, I used to panic that I might be stuck with him forever. Of course he was a bum that needed me to help take care of him.

[@coffeestraight2953]

Who would we be? We would be even more amazing women with safety. Where would we be? We would be in an even more beautiful place without the abuse of males. Abusers don't love us. Our selflove is greater than a man's love.

[@kiasunray]

I’m 15 mins into the video and had to pause it. These ladies have shared my experiences. My relationship with a suspected narcissist ended a month ago. He wanted me to assimilate to his culture. He expected to be served at all times. Served what, you may ask? Any and everything: food, time, resources, my body….I’m much happier without him. He reached out to me a week ago, asking why did I call him. He texted me asking ,”Are you okay?” I didn’t call him. I refused to take the bait. I think he called because his bday was coming up (7/25) and he wanted to mooch off me for a gift.

[@StormyMonday0896]

Example, when I divorced my ex, everyone in the complex was happy he was never coming back and said they didnt know how I could be married to such a jerk

[@laurynrose1111]

Learn the playbook of Narc abuse

[@ScorpionMaiden75]

I feel this on so many levels. Thank you for reminding me why I left my ex-husband. Only issue is we co-parent. I couldn't figure out why I got dizzy spells. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment. I've had the light-switch self for years. Thanks to my bio dad I got used to using it. Had to be perfect for my dad or catch wrath from hell. Working on self in therapy but still attracting types like my dad and ex-husband Any ideas are appreciated. 💜💕🦋🔥👑🔥🦋💕💜

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

What about to stop dating and focus on yourself only? 🙂

[@1jazzyphae]

The fact that pretty much every woman i know old and young have been in abusive relationships more than once. Because there are more abusive men than good. These men will tear you down and break you and eventually kill you. All while blaming the woman for their behavior. Its just better to stay single. I've been in an abusive marriage. I didn't even want to marry him. But he threatened me so bad and i had no one in my life who wanted to even help me. As my parents asked me what i did to deserve it. They never tried to protect me. Sadly i was trying to escape my abusive family just to end up married to an abuser. Every man after has been better but just as awful in some other areas. The way they try to mentally screw you up and gaslight you. I'm single. And i don't think I'll ever try again. I would literally give everything i had. I always made sure he had a good life while he made sure mine was hell. I came into every relationship with pure intentions while they didn't. Love is scary and deadly.

[@AmericanDreamer]

very true Evey word you wrote except last. genuine love is not scary . it's not violent etc...what you had was you had love buf he didn't . most men appear to be unable to love anyone

[@happyd1479]

This is my story too

[@1jazzyphae]

@@AmericanDreamer we know what love is supposed to be. Only we aren't always met with true love. I've never known true love. So for me love is scary. Because every time I try something bad happens

[@1jazzyphae]

@@happyd1479 I'm so sorry

[@ineedhoez]

That is horrific.

[@Nightlingg]

I just want to say, that in addition to being more aware of how DA can start and the warning signs, that it is not just our partners we have to be weary of. I have an older half brother. We didn't grow up together except for very short instances ( like only a few months) when we were kids. Even then, i thought he was kind of mean sometimes, but i digress. Fast forward and we're adults, we sometimes see each other qt family functions and he seems weird but generally just a goofy, nerdy guy who likes video games and anime. Myself and our younger brother also like anime and stuff so i think maybe i should try to hang out with my older brother more, hes probably matured sense growing up bc he's literally in his 30s now. Early this year, i fell on very hard times. I ended up losing my home. And due to other life circumstances that other family members had, I didn't have very many options bc i didn't want to add to their stress. So, one day at a family get together, I'm talking to other family members about my situation and my older brother says "Hey, you know you could come stay with me for a while if you need to." I think this might actually be a good idea bc he doesn't have children or many other responsibilities or any major illnesses right now like other family members. So i say sure. I move in and within the first few days, literally, we end up having a minor argument about something. From then on, literally from the first few days on, he picks fights over the stupidest things. Once we were headed to Walmart and i don't know the area well so i use google maps. He tries to tell me to just turn it off and he'll give me directions to a Walmart that's like 7 minutes away. I say the one i already have up on Google maps is also 7 mins away and its dark and im directionally challenged so it's better to just use the directions i already have up bc its the same distance. He starts saying how itll be fine and he can direct me but im literally already driving at this point and i say, "well we're already almost there now, so lets just go to this one. Ots easier." He proceeds to actually cuss me out, yelling and everything the rest of the way to the Walmart. All bc i " should've just listened" and went to the one he wanted bc it "would've been easier". Im telling him to stop yelling at me but he just keeps going and then when we're across the street from the Walmart, he tells me to pull over in the parking lot of a store across the street from the Walmart and he's gonna get out and walk. Its freaking dark outside, and for some reason, instead of cussing his ass back out, i feel so sad and confused. I told him that yelling was a trigger for me bc i grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive parent. She used to yell all the time and so i had told him not to yell and cuss at me for no reason but he just keeps going. Ao, i say, no don't get out of the car, we're literally across the street, lets just drive over. He stays in the car but continues to cuss me out, yelling and all that until i just start crying bc im so mad, sad and confused. Also, im worried if i say the wrong thing, hed just kick me out of his house on the street. We pull up and he gets out slams the door, and I'm just crying in the car as we walks up to Walmart. There's a woman, bless this woman, in a different car who heard how he was talking to me and when he leaves, ahe comes up and is like, "oh my god, are you ok?" I say yes and she's like, " i had to check on you bc why is he talking to you like that?" She literally thinks hes an abusive boyfriend, the way he was talking crazy to me. I tell her my situation and she hugs me and says that it'll be okay and just try to earn enough money to move out soon and shes been through something similar. I thank her. Ahes awesome. I should've got her number so we could be friends 🥺 but i wasn't thinking. Over the next two months i lived with him, hes started multiple fights, repeatedly called me names and said i was stupid,( which i did also call him stupid which isn't nice, but i was so angry) he'd punch walls or a headboard or whatever was near and put holes in things over the DUMBEST shit. (He also statts having this very creepy vibe for some reason. Like id wake up and he would just be standing in my doorway. Then he'd start talking about something like that was the purpose of him being there. But when the convo was over, he'd atill just be standing awkwardly in my doorway to my room and it was just silent like a very uneasy vibe) But anyways, he also would repeatedly call our other family members and outright lie on me. He'd say i was a shit starter and narcissistic and that i attacked him one time which i NEVER did! Hed say that i would berate him and cuss him for no reason, which he was actually the one doing to me. Like he would go on full smear campaigns, calling multiple people in our family or calling his friends back to back in a single day. Just calling everyone and telling them im so horrible and mean and nasty and i never did any of that shit. He repeatedly told me that no one wanted to be around me and "no one is in your corner" literally. Each time he would say things like that to me, i ALWAYS countered with no im not. I know who i am. I may not be perfect, but i am NOT those things you're calling me. I also told him our family KNOWS who i am. And he can call whoever he wants, but they would NEVER believe him bc they know who i am too. These people raised me. And i was right, they eventually stopped taking his calls bc thry were like "wth is this guy talking about". Our Aunt, who i did not tell about my situation bc i didn't want her to worry, i told her eventually bc i didn't know what to do. He literally pulled a knife once and said he would cut his wrists if i didn't stfu bc i was telling him that he wasn't allowed to speak to me that way and that he was disrespectful. So he grabbed a knife and shook it and was like, "STFU! JUST STFU! YOU MAKE ME WANT TO SLIT MY WRISTS!" So i knew i couldn't stay there. I told my aunt and she said i could come to her house immediately. Even after i left, he would send messages on fb telling me that i am a liar, a terrible person and i made his mental health so much worse and that no one in the family really liked me and that no one was in my corner. Even then, i countered him and said he was wrong, and im not gonna let him tarnish my view of myself. If anything, having to repeat the good attributes i know that I have, kind of cemented them in my mind for me. So i think this happened for a reason. I blocked him. But i say ALL of that to say lol that we need to keep our wyes open for even family members who might also display the traits listed in the video. Bc it made me really sad to find out how awful my big brother was. I really had hoped we could be friends. He told me when i first moved in that we were going to be buddies and hang out and go to cons and do all that fun "nerd" stuff. And i really wish he could've been someone i could respect and who i could hang out with. I have no other big brothers. I have a little bro( who is awesome btw and would NEVER do any of that stuff🫶🏽) but you know, a big brother is supposed to protect their little sisters, not terrorize them and make them cry and stuff. But, i won't let that make me bitter. Like i told him, i was put on this earth to make it better. My PURPOSE is to uplift and help people and if i have to go through shit to learn the necessary lessons i need to learn in order to become a better person, so be it. Not you or anybody is going to stop anything. That made him madder but, i dont care. Anyway, oh well, im glad to be at my Aunt's and im doing much better. She helped raise me, so its almost like living with a mom of sorts😅 plus i get to eat her cooking lol Ill leave you with this, be VERY careful out there. And if it feels wrong, trust your gut even if, actually ESPECIALLY if it's family bc a lot of crimes are done by the people closest to you. Thats bc they normally are the ones with the most access to you so keep your eyes and ears open. Yall be safe✌🏽😘

[@coffeerevival7812]

Thank you to everyone!!!

[@brittanybinger3215]

I just want to be able to move on without being approached by people who think like him…I need to have my life just like he does.

[@skinwalker_needs_rescue]

Omg my ex would just always threat me, about breaking my things, knocking me off and stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️ once I told him that I'm allergic to egg plant and he told me he'd cook and make me eat eggplant for 3 times a day if I make him cook food so I just packed his bag and threw it out on the street

[@belle8i]

Mine guilt trips me about being on my phone. He can go on Facebook but if I do it, I'm a bad person for it. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself, but it's a struggle. I'm married to him, unfortunately. He's not a narcissist but I suspect he has BPD which is so stressful and in a man is scary. He will lose it over the most trivial things and then suck up to me when he sees I'm not taking his BS. He thinks I'm withholding sex from him as well, but I'm just not sexually attracted to him because he's ruined it for me. I'm 38 and I'm ready to pack it in on relationships because the man before him was a self-proclaimed psychopath, and that was even scarier.

[@leannecoffey8964]

You will be happier once you make that final decision to go. you won't believe the relief you will feel when you finally make it out.

[@cherylT321]

If you decide to leave him, do it quietly when you know he’s not around to catch you trying to leave!

[@aaronfelcity1403]

I didn’t realize it, either. I’m still processing if it was abuse. He wasn’t jealous at all. However, he would never apologize and would randomly call me names. He shoved me for joking around. I get I was being annoying but still. We’d be playing and he’d actually try to punch me hard. He also wouldn’t let me listen to music I like or anything idk.

[@PandaHead602]

Congrats 🎊 🍾 on your 3k subs

[@ImaniForester]

Oooooo thank you so much!!! 💜✨👏🏽🥂

[@TheGuniverse2k]

Ooooweeee 13:10 is speaking on something so real. I love how she mentioned not seeing someone as a whole but loving their good side and hating their bad. That's not healthy. You have to be able to accept that person as a whole. Their bad shouldn't be so bad you hate it or who they are when they aren't at their best 🔥 💯 great great point.

[@IdreamIsoar]

I can relate to so many mentioned experiences. Eg. The withholding of affection. My ex withheld all physical affection, going as far as forming a divide with bedding every night.

[@simply_nebulous]

3:50 That was intentional. He was trying to stop her from meeting up with friends.

[@catherineblair1221]

I am reading your book and I am enjoying it.

[@roxanneleversee7005]

Hives are real. I never knew this could happen to a person and then I actually started experiencing this. I would wake up in the morning with unexplained bruises on my arms. It would take a good few weeks to get rid of them and then sometimes when they appeared to be healing then they would come back even more pronounced. Very unexplainable. Some how we would end up fighting and I would return to my place. He would leave me alone until my bruises were healed and then here he would come back again. I personally think he was drugging me because every time I would leave him and move back home I did feel as if my body was aching all over. I dont do drugs, and only drink occassionaly. Something that keeps haunting me is he told me that his wife died of cancer and she was the toxic one in there relationship. After a relationship with this guy for a few years I'm convinced it was probably him and not her.

[@tranquility9325]

I talked to this one individual for a few days. He acted normal. Then he said something out of the side of his neck which annoyed me. I don't remember what it was. Then, the next time he talked to me he said.. are you done with your fowl mood yet? He was in the wrong. I blocked him. I don't have time for drama lovers.

[@maddart4445]

Ok the whole light switch idea makes so much sense. Is it survival mode or addiction to the good times?

[@Emilyb21-dm3bf]

My ex. Ill never do it again.😊

[@Fryjnkk]

23:40 - Sure , it can sometimes be true that your friends might notice your partner's red flags before you do, but this is a weird thing to generalize imo. Some of the worst narcissists are amazing at charming a girl's friends and family. And on the flip side, your friends could discriminate against them for whatever stupid reason, it doesn't necessarily mean the guy is potentially abusive or problematic.

[@angelinaboals2042]

Misophonia is real. People may want to hear what you have to say but not hear you eat. I am one and can't make it through all the sound effects.

[@Zullala]

Holy hell! That present wrapping thing happened to me too! I wobeer if she was woth my ex husband 😅. I spent hours wrapping presents for my family and he made me unwrap them. Told me that the presents looked horrible and that my family eould think that I didnt love them if I gave them ugly wrapped presents... My parents always loved how I wrapped presents. I love to add a ton of bows and they love that too. I tried to tell my husband (at the time) this, but he insisted that ny gift wrapping eas embarrassing and disrespectful... Ugh, i wish that i had never married that asshole

[@ritaanderson819]

💔💔💔💔 thank you so much sharing - sending to my friends

[@wildolive3630]

I feel sorry for the girl at the 18 min mark. Hope she took a break from men and focused on herself

[@linvi_chemutai]

Dont let relationship failure bind you in bitterness and unforgiveness, find Jesus Christ find peace, love and forgiveness.

[@jayythomason998]

My ex pulled the “I’m not gonna touch you shit” too The crying on the edge of the bed shit hits 😂😂😅

[@florindagonzalez5700]

Howcome women don't name who these abusive guys are and post their pictures no one else ends up with them?

[@catlover2223]

Wouldn’t that be doxxing?

[@listentotheanimalscreamsha1511]

@@catlover2223 You'll be sued

[@KnoNow9]

Controlling and narcissistic is not the same.

[@ineedhoez]

Technically, that's correct but From a psychological perspective It's the same. The underlying pathology is a high level of self orientation and the desire to have there needs met. Control is just a mechanism of person engages them to get their need met. A controlling person is going to be on the narcissist side of the spectrum.

[@lorphic777]

29:26 there is very little as bothersome as watching/listening to someone eat and talk

[@kimcham9949]

It is annoying.

[@aneshiatrenay]

Right, I skipped over it

[@Tulipsaki]

See, here's the problem. I realized my horrible college acts was abusive and so many different ways like practically every way except outright hitting me but, grape should count, after I left him. Everyone told me including people who are supposed to be my friends, what a great guy he was. Nobody believed me when I said anything like he's acting in a certain way that struck me as being off. They all made excuses for him.

[@baileymoran8585]

Also, the young girl doing her makeup broke my heart because she still blames herself. Idk what she means by ‘I was toxic back.’ Because sometimes there is no appropriate reaction to what they are doing. But I do know that you should not feel bad because you ‘allowed it to happen.’ You don’t start dating and know what a healthy relationship looks like. So if they start bad, you don’t have anything else to compare it too, especially when it starts in your teens. I had to unlearn that shame in therapy. All my examples were bad until I met my husband so of course I allowed it to happen, because everyone around me was allowing it to happen to them to some degree. We all talked about ‘omg it’s so annoying when boys think you are cheating with every guy you know’ and ‘I wish we could just have a girls night like when we were single’ and ‘I wish boys would DD us when we go out so we could drink at the club.’ It seems almost more normalized now. We at least found it annoying but people actually act like this one sided and awful shit is ‘cute’ and ‘proof he loves you.’ But if we did it then we would be labeled as crazy. So of course most of us allow it until it either gets worse or we see an example of a healthy relationship.

[@Solov_d444]

Thank you for this! My channel will dedicated to self love! ❤❤❤

[@jamilateef6392]

notice social media never ruins anything for giraffes( some giraffes live in kenya.) always pratice whole body skincares plus drink honeycomb tea, comment from me in west coast california, be well.

[@CremeBrulee543]

The physical touch example wow

[@CulinaryGuide]

Goodmorning Stephanie