you're inside the last memories of a dying person (playlist)

[ spotify playlist ]
spoti.fi/3Pwc1dN
[ please, support me on patreon ]
/ nobodyplaylists
[ discord server ]
/ discord
[ timestamps ] / all the music was made by me (nowt on spotify)
00:00 there were many things for which we exist
05:17 golden days are just a thought
09:26 banalities of our existence
13:04 disappointing attempt to go back
16:21 waltzing for eternity
19:35 preserved and valuable occasion
22:46 a sea of thoughts
26:21 a peaceful omen
30:08 fond memories of an empty past
34:43 what we feel is enhanced
39:18 an empty nostalgia
43:32 anemoia
47:16 our lifelong dreams
50:19 déjà vu, sonder
53:22 making memories last forever
56:38 fleeting scenes beyond what was said
01:00:56 things behind our mind
01:05:48 creation at the end of everything
01:11:26 and memories lasted forever
01:16:15 there is nothing, as if it never happened
01:19:54 suffering in the thought of a glorious past
[ images credits (edited by me)]
1. u/chkpn via reddit | bit.ly/3BTWTmR
2. AlfaOxtrot via reddit | bit.ly/3de6xGF
3. u/martusfine via reddit | bit.ly/3p8PJ6I
4. u/dutdizzle via reddit | bit.ly/3djytch
5. u/faretu via reddit | bit.ly/3dkBXv9
6. u/theblocksmacker via reddit | bit.ly/3QudcuI
7. u/anxious_north_819 via reddit | bit.ly/3SGroTm
8. u/mcraftgoodfnitebad via reddit | bit.ly/3JKeQ9p
9. u/mighty_drake_reborn via reddit | bit.ly/3p7BVcx
10. u/fynn-the-hunanz via reddit | bit.ly/3JKf8Nx
11. u/joshual2153 via reddit | bit.ly/3vOLq3Z
12. u/kuneemunee via reddit | bit.ly/3vT4b6A
13. u/edgymofo95 via reddit | bit.ly/3zFGlwa
14. u/mateo-gra via reddit | bit.ly/3PaSI95
15. u/ricecakes4 via reddit | bit.ly/3bGfMPq
16. u/jacobragu via reddit | bit.ly/3p7Cx1P
17. u/kistep via reddit | bit.ly/3p9hGv0
18. rachelc.photography via flickr | bit.ly/3dmhLsQ
19. u/trickybackground2865 via reddit | bit.ly/3AbmXIS
20. u/kiidbeamo via reddit | bit.ly/3QhFVmW
21. unknown via @spaceliminalbot/twitter | bit.ly/3Qf5chu
[ additional info ]
- this playlist is made as a compilation of my 3 albums about nostalgia, dreams and memories, but the music is rearranged to match the title
- the concept of these albums is 100% inspired by 'everywhere at the end of time', 'an empty bliss beyond this world' and 'everywhere, an empty bliss' albums by the caretaker
[ copyright ]
the music was made by me, i don't own the images used in this video
[ tags ]
#nostalgia #ambient #playlist #ambientmusic #liminalspace

[@sxdhoursboi]

The night before my dad died, he had called me into his room. When he did, he told me how much he loved me, and how proud he was of me. Then he told me goodnight, and that he would see me soon. 16 year old me didn't understand what he meant by that. Almost 5 years later, I'm 21 now and still feeling the raw pain of his absence in my soul. I had a dream about him yesterday that I was that little girl all over again, and him and I went to the beach and collected shells. I have never gone to the beach my whole life, but I have always wanted to go with my father. There were so many things I wanted to experience with him that I know I will never be able to experience with him in this lifetime. Maybe in my next life or in the afterlife, him and I will go looking for shells while holding each other's hands. To my father, I miss you more and more each day. The pain never went away, and I still cry for you even at my big age. Birthdays and holidays are never the same without you here. I still listen to your favorite music from time to time. I still celebrate Father's day for you, and make you a card and your favorite German chocolate cake like I used to. Do you read the letters I write to you to this day? I hope you do. I write to you every year for your birthday in hopes that you read the letters and poems I write for you. You were there for me when I took my first breath in this life, and I was there for you when you took your last breath in this life. I know you are no longer in pain, and you are in the peace that you so desperately craved for such a long time. I miss feeling your hugs. I miss hearing your voice and laugh. I miss seeing your face, and your smile. I'm sorry for not being the best daughter to you. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you in any way. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough to make sure you were ok. I hope you weren't scared in your last moments of life. I hope you were at peace, and finally happy. I don't know where you are, but I hope it's somewhere that you can experience true freedom and happiness in. One day, you and I will reunite again, but for now, I will keep living through this thing called "life". Everything I do, is for you. I love you so much, dada. Please never forget about me as I have never forgotten about you. Until we meet again.

[@rascalrosy]

this is so sweet and sad man...

[@Jo-Shmo8997]

Hey, I'm sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like a great guy, and it must be really hard trying to move past this. All I can say is, don't. This isn't something you get over or feel sad over. I'm not sure if you believe in God, that Jesus died for you so you can be with Him and your father in eternal paradise, but I pray you will find them there. God bless

[@ruriwijaya595]

"You were there for me when I took my first breath in this life, and I was there for you when you took your last breath in this life." This is one of the most beautiful thing I've heard

[@avsteeg]

Im so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️😭😭💔💔🕊️🕊️🕊️

[@sxdhoursboi]

Just wanted to give you guys an update ever since I posted this; I went to Mississippi not too long after writing that, and at night I went to the beach for the first time. When I went, there was no one else around except for me, my mother and stepdad. While I was looking out at the water, a huge white bird landed in front of me. Probably one of the biggest ones I've ever seen. When I walked away to the car and looked back out at the beach, the bird was no longer there. That's how ik that it was my dad coming to say hi to me, and to tell me that everything is going to be ok. Ik that my father will always be alongside me in this life, even if it is no longer physically. I will always miss him, but never will forget the memories I made with him. Thank you all for your kind comments and words to me. It helps let me know that my dad is still around me all the time, even if I'm lost and alone in this world. :))❤️

[@alfaoxtrot610]

The second photo is mine, and I must say whoever edited it has definitely improved the atmosphere by 100X. Great video as always Nobody!

[@nobodyplaylists]

Omg! Thank you very much for the comment! Also, it made me realize that I forgot to put the image credits in the description. 😭 I'm so sorry, I'll put the credits right now!

[@The_Fancy_Duck]

Hello

[@pluvial.]

Hello! Where can I find the original photo?

[@xXOverHaulXx]

AlfaOxtrot: "As you can see I am not dead"

[@tajzu]

ur my favourit

[@AndrewTateTpG]

The scariest yet beautiful part is that we can never go back to that place we remember.

[@InvaderJes11]

yeah......yeah.

[@spmoran4703]

That's not scary . We just do not go back . And if we did , with change being natural progress , that place would have changed.

[@MarkZer0]

We can it just won't be the same...

[@SaviorLight]

Only through our thoughts we can.

[@JC-sg1bj]

We construct a simulation to display of what we thought we remember. It is disordered and volatile in nature.

[@rickydo6572]

This video feels like a saferoom in a horror game. Come in and take a rest, prepare yourself to face the horrors outside once again when you’re ready.

[@CottagecoreForests]

69 likes.

[@syntheticant8172]

Of course, life is not horrible. Only the naive would see what everyone has, existence, consciousness, and act like it isn't an unbelievable privilege, so great we can't express it.

[@RipPvt.Jenkins]

@@syntheticant8172 I'd say we're privileged but are also cursed with the gift of thought.

[@MrIG511]

Literally resident evil and evil within.

[@rickydo6572]

@@RipPvt.Jenkins Being the small fraction of the cosmos tasked with the duty of self analysis comes with it's fair share of pain. But know that, whenever you feel pain, the universe itself is feeling pain, because you're part of it, and it is part of you.

[@cherrykool-aid3607]

This reminds me of my grandpa. I can't speak a lot of Spanish, and the only language he knew was Spanish. All I can feel is guilt. I never spent much time with him, but I truly felt a connection. I can remember memories of him bringing food to my tias and tio. I can remember us laughing around the table and enjoying the time when he had brought home an octopus tentacle once. It felt like happiness. I remember being on a trip in Mexico with my parents, having a great time until my dad freaked after a phone call from my grandma. He had gotten a heart attack, luckily survived, but was in critical condition. It made me feel sad, but it hadn't come to me at the time. Although there was happiness at the hospital too. I can remember watching Cinderella on the TV with my family, next to my grandpa who was on the hospital bed. I remember it was around Christmas - New Year's Eve time, and I was on a sleepover with my cousins, and it was a great morning. My mom came over to pick me up, of course I didn't want to leave, but something seemed more.. urgent. So I left, and I was told that my grandpa had passed away. At first it was a lot to comprehend, what? He had passed? Do you mean he's not here anymore? He's not on the same hospital bed, watching TV? It did and didn't feel like a joke at the same time. It felt weird, all I could do was cry. Those tears couldn't capture my emotions but that's all I could do. Only after standing by his grave, everything just came to me, and felt more.. clear. The call in Mexico, the sad and happy moments in the hospital, the sudden news of his death. I could finally comprehend it all, and it took so long for me to understand it truly happened. Times are rough for me right now, but he is my motivation. I can only imagine the pain he was, clinging onto life with cords and nurses around him all the time. I can only imagine how hopeless you feel. But despite that he made some milestones during his sick days. Like learning to write his name again, learning how to say a few words again, and how to take those few steps across the hospital room. He pushed through, despite the hopeless situation. Sometimes I wish he were here, and that next time I visit my grandma's house he'd come home once more, and we could share a hug. Thank you Nobody. Thank you for this playlist, thank you for your songs and titles. Thank you for letting me think deeper and more into myself. It makes me feel a different arrange of emotions, deep thinking is probably all I needed. I can only imagine how many people you help with these playlists, and now that I'm currently on my way to a new grade level, these playlists are what I need for studying. Thank you. ~ A new subscriber.

[@CraigOP]

Wishing all the best for you.

[@aliciaruiz1477]

Bro you described the feeling of losing someone so perfectly..I hope you have an amazing life and know that he is looking over you

[@elegia_ai]

I can feel you. Wish you all the best

[@vinayk7]

"grandpa had passed away"😢

[@ghostex642]

Words were beautifully put together I hope you’re doing alright stranger

[@Berries.creamm]

This makes me so sad. My big brother passed in a car accident last year August 4th. I wonder what his last memories were, I wonder if he was in pain.. it was head trauma. I miss him so fucking much. I’m wearing his work shirt right now. He would’ve turned 23 on July 10th this year. He was only 22, didn’t get to marry or have kids. We’re doing a celebration of his life this August 4th, EVERYONE he knew will be there. I’m so not ready but I’ll do it for him.

[@ignacioalmiron7187]

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope that your family can get over the grief by celebrating his life, I'm sure he would have loved it

[@hellbyshortcake1321]

It’s life… you can be soo damn happy but the next minute soo sad i am really so sorry for your loss I can imagine the pain you and your Family and his friends had to go through (still go) and i might be a stranger but I hope Someday That You all gonna be Happy a household full with laughters and good memories.. :) I wish things wouldn’t go this way for you but as stupid as it sounds theres always a reason for certain people to leave this planet so early. Im really sorry and i wish you all the best!

[@GGuotter_Dok]

im sorry for your loss, i cant even imagine what emotions you and the rest that knew him are going through. please continue to push as far as you can for him, im sure he would be proud. be safe and remember to take a break once a while

[@vadimtherooskie1174]

I’ll pour one out for him, may he be at peace.

[@JamesE97]

continue being strong for him, continue making him proud. so sorry for your loss. rip big bro.

[@MrNootropick]

why is it that someone who wants to can’t leave, but life takes away those who would like to stay?

[@everettrailfan]

That's the hard part. It seems so unfair, but at the same time, who are we to judge? Our emotions and opinions fluctuate so often we don't even realize it. Who are we to judge what's fair and what's not?

[@gabep4378]

Maybe life’s just a jerk

[@B_4035mn]

I find it funny that some people believe in a god, who would want to praise something so cruel? To make a life with a veil of free will, and no choice, set to endlessly suffer until a pitch-black void consumes their consciousness, what's the point? Some say we are being "tested", by what and why? If this is a being of infinite power, why aren't we just consumed in its infinite bliss, instead of its eternal pain. If a god does exist in some way, they don't have a human conscience, or even a conscience at all, thus have no grasp of the idea of "Pain" or "Bliss". God is nothing in that sense. What if "God" is just the cold dark reality we reside in? In that sense, is god no better than Asathoth or Abraxas? Slight existential crisis aside, yeah, it's pretty sucky.

[@ldelazu]

@@B_4035mn i can see that u got a lot of conflict onto urself, but instead of bringing other's mood down, u should keep that to you, i could answer its ''free will'' but there's no reason for it, if u really wanted to believe in god u would rather go to a religious video and actually comment ur doubts on it, but ur instead just being a jerk

[@MrNickPresley]

@@B_4035mnIf God exists, He is like a clock maker. He sets things in motion, winds up the clock, then lets them run along on their own while he focuses His attention elsewhere. You're not being tested. There is no endgame to the hardship you've been through, no cosmic plan that requires life chew you up and spit you out, you just have rotten luck. Knowing this, you'll either break down and wallow in despair, because you think only He can assign purpose and meaning to you, or you'll keep going until things get better or you die- whichever happens first. Either way, you have a choice. You have the free will to make that choice. But, if you were to ask me, I'd say keep going. Not knowing what this is all for is just part and parcel of being human. Comes with the territory. But, even if it's all directionless, devoid of inherent purpose, I don't think that diminishes how beautiful life, and the world around you, can be. If anything, that just makes it all the more impressive that it came about at all. That YOU, YOU in all your wonderings, YOU in all your joy, your anger, in all your sadness, came about at all. YOU are pretty impressive, in yourself. So, you don't know why you are, or what you're for. But, y'know what? YOU *are* . I don't know about you, but the lack of a specific purpose or reason given seems to me like a blank check to exercise that free will of yours. Anyway, I thank you for taking the time to listen. Hopefully, this has helped you with your existential crisis, and alleviated at least some of your dread. I am Nick, and this has been my TEDTalk on existentialism.

[@fennecfox2]

My dad died on father's day, which broke my heart. He always said "you will always be daddy's little girl" even when I was in my 20s. I remember I sent him a happy fathers day message. The phone ringed and I thought it was him. It was his wife, she said he passed away. I remember thinking it wasn't true. I remember I called again later and I heard his voice. He said "Hi :)" and I was so happy he wasn't really dead, so I smiled and said "Hi daddy..." and then he interrupted me and said "I am not here right now, please leave your name and number after the beep." Then there was a beep and silence. Realizing it was the answering machine broke me. I realized he was gone. What hurts is that since it was father's day, he probably really did think about me before he died :'( It makes me think it was my fault because of the timing. It just hurts and will always be painful for me until it's my time to go.

[@Sparrowhawk055]

One play list I have always wanted is you are reliving old memories In your childhood. Like your an adult and looking back. I love all of them tho every title is exactly what I like

[@siyete8870]

Lol no. Stop looking back, we need thought provoking having to do with the end and our final journey. This type is best

[@Sparrowhawk055]

@@siyete8870 it was just a suggestion.

[@roses1573]

listen to the classic mincraft ost by c418

[@TheGhostlands]

@@siyete8870 If you can meditate about things of the past it may give you insights of how to improve as a person, so keep in mind that. I think it was a nice suggestion, as it can help people deal with depression as well.

[@Jake-TorukMakto-Sully]

@@Sparrowhawk055 a great one at that.

[@rotteegher39]

I'm only 18 but listening to this feels like I'm already 80+

[@kwentongpotchero6750]

Yo,the legend is here👍

[@korahholl810]

15 here, already having back problems 😂

[@OsnCnokus]

lmao

[@mkk5024]

wait till 25..trust me

[@Panton_Eric]

Do some good your family, please trust me..

[@monster__exe6787]

I had a best friend, i loved him more than anything in the world. He helped me trough so many things and i always felt better with him. We were soulmates. I was able to spend 9 years of my life with him and im so thankfull that i've found him. In the end of august he acted a bit weird, he cuddled with me like he never did and he was always with me and lever left my side. Motnhs ago I have the feeling to take pictures of everything. Somebody told me to spend every moment with him. On September 2nd I woke up because he wasnt feeling well so i cheered him up. I said "Everthigs going to be okay very soon, dont worry, I love you." Then i went back to sleep. a few hours later when I woke up i saw him. I smiled at first but then a realized that he wasnt breathing. I screamed my lungs out. I shoutet his name but he wasnt looking at me like he normaly did. It felt like somebody stabbed my heart. Seeing my best friend dead on the corner of my bed was the most traumatizing thing in my whole life. Since that day everything feels weird. Im not really happy anymore and I lost my will to live. Im fighting myself to not kms evers night because i know that it would hurt some poeple a lot. But I lost him. I'll never see him again and I dont wanna live a life without him. One month later on his birthday, I sat next to his grave and cried again. Its not the same anymore even tho I see pictures of him or something else. Sometimes I even forget it what happend and I wanna talk to him but in the next moment i cry again. I guess that I still havent realized that he is gone and Ill never be able to see him again. Thank you for listening and sorry for my bad english.

[@blue_ivez2222]

I know I'm a bit late, but it must be awful to go through that my deepest condolences

[@Richard-ed7tf]

That is horrible.....sorry for your lost . If it would make you feel a little better here's a hug *hug * RIP he's soul

[@procrastinator6618]

U've gone through a lot, I hope things get better for you. All I can give u right now is a big virtual hug!

[@nickirons4353]

I lost a friend too and to this day I wished I could have said one last goodbye

[@Richard-ed7tf]

@@nickirons4353 😞 Sorry for your lost. Rest in peace hes/shes soul *Virtual hugs*

[@PastaManEnjoyer]

I might have been in a last memories of a dying person. But it wasn't a human, it was a cat. My favourite cat, the best cat i ever had. It just disappeared. He was always outside but one day he just disappeared, forever. I will always remember him as the best cat i have ever met. In memory of Rysiak, died in 2021.

[@Hey_its_her]

I'm crying a bit just thinking about your cat passing away thinking about you and then just go like that and not say one last goodbye .From one cat lover to a another we both now that cats have feeling like us humans do. may you have a good morning/noon/night.May God blessed you.

[@canko15]

Damn bro..

[@bere4fucin]

I'm not a cat person but Damn

[@uniquename420]

the same thing happened to my cat. Bumpy was his name. They say when cats know they are about to go, they go somewhere quiet where no one can find them. I don't know if that makes you feel better or not but it's likely Rysiak went in a quiet peaceful place, probably a place they scoped out a long time ago and trusted to be safe. I know bumpy went the same way... but I'd actually like to think he's still out there somewhere... you never know right? maybe he's out there having an adventure of a lifetime and one day... maybe a long day away, but one day for sure... he'll come back and tell you all about it...

[@russia4biden221]

You are a terrible pet owner

[@paradiseprogram]

a friend of mine just died Saturday night, and i like to imagine, as she passed, she relived her best memories

[@dunwich.chillout]

What happiness it is to read the comments of people with good musical taste! I would be happy if you took a look at my videos... I create similar content, and I would like to know what can be improved.. I would be very grateful!!!!

[@Hey_its_her]

May your friend rest in peace.

[@a_normal_earthbeing1180]

Bless your soul, I hope you have recovered through the year.

[@Nelika1305]

My girlfriend died 2 months ago. I wonder what her last thoughts were, which memories she had. I miss her so much

[@bloodisfuel9882]

im sorry for your loss. i hope it gets better

[@brandon2383]

jesus is king with the father holy spirit. jesus is love kindness mercy true light learn about jesus . read ( john 14:6) learn about god life is very short

[@NERJ607]

My condolences

[@irinakarlstein]

I'm so sorry. My daughter just died in Feb. This song brought me right back to that night. I too wish I could know what she was thinking or what was going on inside emotionally.

[@supahflames]

@@irinakarlstein I can’t empathize with a parent’s loss, it’s definitely one of the worst thing someone can experience in this world. I’m so so sorry, and please take care of yourself and remember that your life is still a sacred thing. At the end of the day, you gave that kid a shot and they lived a life that I’m sure was full of light, love and fun. I wish the best for you, so please stay safe. 🫶

[@beautifulrelaxingmusic92]

This sound is so wonderful. The person who is reading this comment , i wish you great success , health, love and happiness!!!

[@theoryianabsolute8777]

❤️

[@Eagertail]

Thank you, i will keep this in mind, and to you too you will also have great success, health, love and indeed happiness

[@shirley2526]

Thank you. Thank you.

[@shaynata6331]

thank you! I wish you all the bests!

[@jankoj1684]

Thank you very much! Also have a good time to

[@WOEIT33]

don't be sad someone you love died, be happy that they existed.

[@the.seagull.35]

😕 but I mean... the very fact that you were happy they were here, makes it hurt even worse when they're gone. I know what you mean though. Its a good message you sent, I appreciate it.

[@2_NATIVE_2-TOUCH]

A wise man once told me, don’t cry because they’re gone, but smile because they’re with god,

[@90damagebrella-gg6rf]

@@2_NATIVE_2-TOUCH i like to tell myself that even though i dont fully believe it.

[@persistentsolitude2216]

My grandma has Alzheimer's and is currently living with my family and me due to the fact. I never really had a strong relationship with her, but she still was grandma. She lived with us for a year, and this past month has recently plummeted into confusion. I catch her in our living room just staring into nothingness or worrying about my family's dogs. She always asks, "Where am I?", "Whose dogs are these?", "I live here?", etc. as much as me and my family tries and make humor out of the situation, I always catch myself unnerved and in deep disturbance about the whole thought of what is really happening inside her head. I am constantly wondering what she is thinking about when she looks so detached from herself. Alzheimer's is a sickening disease for the ones who have it and the ones who are looking after it. Alzheimer's is one of the few worst things I would never wish upon anyone else, no matter how corrupt or evil. The brain is the most important part of human existence, and for an illness to slowly take that away from an individual is one of the most sickening and disturbing things to me.

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

I wish you and your family peace and happiness and only the best of the best of hope and joy to come your way. My grandmother is currently going through something very similar now and she seems to be hallucinating and she's losing time on this earth and I although myself as well do not have a strong relationship with her she is still my only living grandmother I have left. And I just hope and pray that my mother who's getting older to one day move on and celebrate the life she had. And I only wish that for you as well friend. It will be alright in the end and i just want you to know that there are other compassionate humans that deeply care for you and your friends and family. We as humans need to be there for each other especially during these times. I wish I could hug you. But an electronic hug will have to do. Please hang in there and if you need help or to seek therapy please please please do not hesitate to ask for help and reach out. Because just yesterday I survived another suicide attempt and I'm just so grateful I lived to tell you this. I love you and I dont know you but I care deeply about random strangers on the internet. Trust yourself that it will all work out in the end. (ﾉ>ω

[@rush1er]

Went through the same thing. Try this and watch her remember... play music that she listened to as a teenager. Watch her memory come to life!

[@raquelmiramontes4014]

My grandpa from my mom's side also had it, i was pretty young, a child actually, to fully realize the situation, i knew he kept forgotting stuff, and that i had to keep an eye so if he looked distressed i had to talk to mom, now my grandma (mom's mom) has dementia because of her arteries deteriorating thanks to smoking as a train pipe, and keeps forgetting things like if she went to pee 20 minutes ago, spacing out, or just watching tv, asking us to swap channels or movies in netflix because she truly forgot how to do it. It really makes me pretty uneasy too, to know they, your grandma, and my grandparents were once a fully active and complete being, and for an illness to rob them of their mind, pretty terrifying. We just have to try and spend time with them, maybe you can catch a bit of lucidity in her, and my grandma's lucidity stays here for a little while.

[@skullchimes]

i wish it on putin

[@abrahammesrajecorrea2349]

As someone who partially looked after his grandma.for 4 years before she passed away; and in her last 9 years of life she had senile dementia, I can understand the sentiment. It was heartwrecking seeing my grandma not remembering who I was or thinking.I constantly tried to poison her.whenever I gave her her food or her thinking I was a robber and threatening me to punch me if I did something to her. Or seeing how she would forget she was hungry and having to plead with her to eat to the point I sometimes cried. And her last month was a trainwreck of emotions. She went from sleepy and without the need to eat or go to the bathroom to immediately feeling totally fine after a quick trip to the hospital. I'll never forget when she told me while I was feeding her "hey... I love you, but I don't even know who you are". At that point, I guess she thought sometimes whenever I called her "grandma", it was just a nickname and not what she was to me... sometimes, she saw me as "her youngest child". Seeing someone I loved deteriorate in such way mentally and then physically made me fear old age and brain diseases. I'd prefer to go "end of service" than to put me and anyone who loves me through such pain, it's awful for everyone involved.

[@queefcheif9306]

the first song really just slaps you up side the head with a wave of regret, sorrow, guilt and fear along with a slight sense of calm

[@deevnotsteev]

I feel that too, but all of the songs give me multiple emotions at once :D(also we have the same name LMAO)

[@chowderthechowchow6919]

It’s almost as the song is saying, hey kid, you fcuked up, but that’s ok.

[@shapeshifter16]

I don't feel fear, but other things are true.

[@russia4biden221]

Regret your own life, most people don't live like a pathetic loser like you

[@milosphotos]

Today, my mother went to the hospital suddenly, I temporarily lost my camera, which is very special to me, and I had an appointment with a GED counselor cancelled against my knowledge, (I've been wanting to get back into education since I left in April of 2022.) It left me stressed, overwhelmed even, but stuff like this really helps. Thank you for making this.

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@Antiedison6]

​@@russia4biden221[6/4 14:09] Elias: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 🤣 😂 🙂 🙃 🫠 😉 😊 😇 🥰 😍 🤩 😘 😗 ☺️ 😚 😙 🥲 😋 😛 😜 🤪 😝 🤑 🤗 🤭 🫢 🫣 🤫 🤔 🫡 🤐 🤨 😐 😑 😶 🫥 😶‍🌫️ 😏 😒 🙄 😬 😮‍💨 🤥 🫨 😌 😔 😪 🤤 😴 😷 🤒 🤕 🤢 🤮 🤧 🥵 🥶 🥴 😵 😵‍💫 🤯 🤠 🥳 🥸 😎 🤓 🧐 😕 🫤 😟 🙁 ☹️ 😮 😯 😲 😳 🥺 🥹 😦 😧 😨 😰 😥 😢 😭 😱 😖 😣 😞 😓 😩 😫 🥱 😤 😡 😠 🤬 😈 👿 💀 ☠️ 💩 🤡 👹 👺 👻 👽 👾 🤖 😺 😸 😹 😻 😼 😽 🙀 😿 😾 🙈 🙉 🙊 💋 💯 💢 💥 💫 💦 💨 🕳️ 💤 👋 🤚 🖐️ ✋ 🖖 🫱 🫲 🫳 🫴 🫷 🫸 👌 🤌 🤏 ✌️ 🤞 🫰 🤟 🤘 🤙 👈 👉 👆 🖕 👇 ☝️ 🫵 👍 👎 ✊ 👊 🤛 🤜 👏 🙌 🫶 👐 🤲 🤝 🙏 ✍️ 💅 🤳 💪 🦾 🦿 🦵 🦶 👂 🦻 👃 🧠 🫀 🫁 🦷 🦴 👀 👁️ 👅 👄 🫦 👶 🧒 👦 👧 🧑 👱 👨 🧔 🧔‍♂️ 🧔‍♀️ 👨‍🦰 👨‍🦱 👨‍🦳 👨‍🦲 👩 👩‍🦰 🧑‍🦰 👩‍🦱 🧑‍🦱 👩‍🦳 🧑‍🦳 👩‍🦲 🧑‍🦲 👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️ 🧓 👴 👵 🙍 🙍‍♂️ 🙍‍♀️ 🙎 🙎‍♂️ 🙎‍♀️ 🙅 🙅‍♂️ 🙅‍♀️ 🙆 🙆‍♂️ 🙆‍♀️ 💁 💁‍♂️ 💁‍♀️ 🙋 🙋‍♂️ 🙋‍♀️ 🧏 🧏‍♂️ 🧏‍♀️ 🙇 🙇‍♂️ 🙇‍♀️ 🤦 🤦‍♂️ 🤦‍♀️ 🤷 🤷‍♂️ 🤷‍♀️ 🫅 🤴 👸 👳 👳‍♂️ 👳‍♀️ 👲 🧕 🤵 🤵‍♂️ 🤵‍♀️ 👰 👰‍♂️ 👰‍♀️ 🤰 🫃 🫄 🤱 👩‍🍼 👨‍🍼 🧑‍🍼 🧍 🧍‍♂️ 🧍‍♀️ 🧎 🧎‍♂️ 🧎‍♀️ 💃 🕺 🛀 🛌 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 👭 👫 👬 💏 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 💑 👩‍❤️‍👨 👨‍❤️‍👨 👩‍❤️‍👩 💌 💘 💝 💖 💗 💓 💞 💕 💟 ❣️ 💔 ❤️‍🔥 ❤️‍🩹 ❤️ 🩷 🧡 💛 💚 💙 🩵 💜 🤎 🖤 🩶 🤍 [6/4 14:09] Elias: 🍇 🍈 🍉 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍍 🥭 🍎 🍏 🍐 🍑 🍒 🍓 🫐 🥝 🍅 🫒 🥥 🥑 🍆 🥔 🥕 🌽 🌶️ 🫑 🥒 🥬 🥦 🧄 🧅 🥜 🫘 🌰 🫚 🫛 🍞 🥐 🥖 🫓 🥨 🥯 🥞 🧇 🧀 🍖 🍗 🥩 🥓 🍔 🍟 🍕 🌭 🥪 🌮 🌯 🫔 🥙 🧆 🥚 🍳 🥘 🍲 🫕 🥣 🥗 🍿 🧈 🧂 🥫 🍱 🍘 🍙 🍚 🍛 🍜 🍝 🍠 🍢 🍣 🍤 🍥 🥮 🍡 🥟 🥠 🥡 🦀 🦞 🦐 🦑 🦪 🍦 🍧 🍨 🍩 🍪 🎂 🍰 🧁 🥧 🍫 🍬 🍭 🍮 🍯 🍼 🥛 ☕ 🫖 🍵 🍶 🍾 🍷 🍸 🍹 🍺 🍻 🥂 🥃 🫗 🥤 🧋 🧃 🧉 🧊 🥢 🍽️ 🍴 🥄 🔪 🫙 🏺 [6/4 14:09] Elias: 🐵 🐒 🦍 🦧 🐶 🐕 🦮 🐕‍🦺 🐩 🐺 🦊 🦝 🐱 🐈 🐈‍⬛ 🦁 🐯 🐅 🐆 🐴 🫎 🫏 🐎 🦄 🦓 🦌 🦬 🐮 🐂 🐃 🐄 🐷 🐖 🐗 🐽 🐏 🐑 🐐 🐪 🐫 🦙 🦒 🐘 🦣 🦏 🦛 🐭 🐁 🐀 🐹 🐰 🐇 🐿️ 🦫 🦔 🦇 🐻 🐻‍❄️ 🐨 🐼 🦥 🦦 🦨 🦘 🦡 🐾 🦃 🐔 🐓 🐣 🐤 🐥 🐦 🐧 🕊️ 🦅 🦆 🦢 🦉 🦤 🪶 🦩 🦚 🦜 🪽 🐦‍⬛ 🪿 🐸 🐊 🐢 🦎 🐍 🐲 🐉 🦕 🦖 🐳 🐋 🐬 🦭 🐟 🐠 🐡 🦈 🐙 🐚 🪸 🪼 🐌 🦋 🐛 🐜 🐝 🪲 🐞 🦗 🪳 🕷️ 🕸️ 🦂 🦟 🪰 🪱 🦠 💐 🌸 💮 🪷 🏵️ 🌹 🥀 🌺 🌻 🌼 🌷 🪻 🌱 🪴 🌲 🌳 🌴 🌵 🌾 🌿 ☘️ 🍀 🍁 🍂 🍃 🪹 🪺 🍄

[@red_Emi]

​​@@russia4biden221shut the f*ck up. We just want to vent. because life is hard sometimes. we don't need an 8 years old here. you have no bussiness here and I hope one day you will understand how to feel empathy and that life goles hard when a loved one passes away.

[@Idontknow-ni5jc]

@@russia4biden221 🤡

[@suyicitie]

@@russia4biden221 you're genuinely a horrible person if youre gonna come to a video about reflection and loss and tell people expressing their feelings that "no one cares". this reply wasn't even necessary whatsoever, you're just being a bitch.

[@MichelleAlderete4444]

My big brother passed away suddenly on September 14, 2022. I miss him so much. It breaks my heart when I think of how he died...alone on the floor. I wonder if he thought of me. All I know is at the time he was dying, I had an overwhelming feeling of fear and death. I thought of my niece because she has a bad heart. But then, the thought of her left me and I ran to my son's room to check on him. I moved him and checked if he was breathing and he was. But, it was my brother who was dying alone and on the floor. Oh, how that hurts me. I thought my big brother would be with me forever. He was fearless...he was my hero!! I will now carry him in my heart...my very broken heart. My grief is overwhelming and it suffocates me. Sometimes my knees buckle when a thought or a memory crosses my mind and reality slaps me in the face. He is dead. This great pain I feel is because my love for my brother was great. That is the price for loving someone. I apologize for this long post. Thank you for this music. It is very beautiful. My tears just run down my face. And that is okay because grief is my new normal. Grief is constant. She sits with me in silence and holds my hand. She wipes my tears and watches over me while I sleep. Rest in peace my precious brother.

[@SP7000SP]

Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last Thanksgiving from a bad heart. No heart attack, no stroke, his heart just couldn’t go on any longer. 😔

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@boomerboy9214]

@@russia4biden221 get a life.

[@TheRoloBear]

My mother passed away from lung cancer in October 2020. This playlist brought back a lot of memories. I think the one memory that keeps playing back in my head the most over these almost two years since is the one where I came home from work and I saw my mom sitting in the living room by herself, looking out the window as the sun set over the mountains. She had this bittersweet smile on her face. As if she knew her time would be over soon. I talked to her about my day at work for a bit. That was the last time I ever got to talk to her. I miss her so much. Things have gotten better for me and my family since then, but I think about her multiple times a day. Every time my dad and brothers and I go out to dinner or the movies, I just can't help but feel her absence.

[@chloemoore4199]

I Went Through The Same Thing I've Lost My Grandmother

[@aidan24970]

i hope your doing good

[@realtk6482]

Big F. Im now a bit more grateful to have still my mom, father and brother. God bless you.

[@MrIG511]

Shes still lives on in your heart.

[@veyrnotvods5542]

some people never leave ya, do they? Lost my aunt some months back and I'm still trying to process the fact that I'll never see her again. Maybe nor my cousins, either...Kinda sad, but in a way I envy the fact that she...doesn't need to deal with this anymore

[@crumbyiscoolerthanyou]

I live in argentina, i haved a friend on the right of my house named Benjamin. He haved leukemia and he beat it 1 time... he was good but a day his leukemia comed back and now he needed a respirator to stay alive. One morning my mom sit me and said me what benjamin died, i was sad and angry with my mother cuz he dont bring me to his funeral. Today benjamin is alive, in my heart.

[@patricksfriendbobthesponge8256]

❤️❤️

[@Dxniel09]

I remember when I had a happy day at school. When it was time to go home, I was surprised to see my cousin to pick me up. She didn't tell me anything except that my mother called her to pick me up from school. We went to get some good food and some snacks to visit my sick grandfather. When we got to my grandfather's home, I was shocked to see all of my family and relatives crying. Confused and scared, I went in and saw my grandfather. His eyes were closed and he looked pale. This was when my mother told me "Your grandfather is gone" while tears were rolling down her face. So I started crying as well because I regretted each time I wasn't smiling when I took a picture with him. My mother's phone is full of my grandfather's pictures. I was in a few of them and I noticed I wasn't smiling. I broke down into tears because I felt so sorry and that I never had spent much time with my grandfather. Grandpa, if you're watching me from above and seeing my cry while I type this comment, I'm sorry I never got to spend very much time with you. I love you with every single beat of my heart. I miss you so much grandpa. I want to hug you for the last time.. But that one chance was when I was at school. I love you so much grandfather. I miss you a lot, I really do. You taught me so much while I was growing up. You took care of me when I was an infant. Now I did nothing good back to you. I'm so regretful that I never get to talk much with you. You were like a distant voice to me but now your voice is now inside of me. I'm so sorry for what I did that made you sad. I'm sorry for all the times I treated you badly. I'm sorry for not giving you a last hug before you passed away. I wish to see you in heaven again. I cannot handle the sadness of not seeing you at your house. I can barely stand the sadness of my grandmother when she saw you pass away. I just want to hug you for the last ever time. Last one time.

[@the.seagull.35]

Let me tell you this as a dad myself, just getting to take care of you was more than enough reward for him. He loved it and he loved you.

[@israelfv]

Se ele cuidou de voce, entao ele te amou como um filho. DEUS te abençoe.

[@EccentricTLOU]

same happened to me, we went home and evryone was crying. my dad died..

[@CrisisMoon7]

this was really powerful

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@petsh0pgirl]

this playlist feels like a tiredness after a long school day, when you've come back home only 15 minutes ago and now you're sitting at your table or more like lying on it and your thoughts just dissociate in your head, but you need to do your homework and prepare for the test

[@cakecrumb095]

That's so specific and accurate!

[@Lily-wq2tc]

as a person experiencing tiredness after a long school day, yes

[@cynara2165]

haven't had a good rest in months

[@Kaleki935]

That's accurate because the delusions "learned" within school and the hellish decade of its life is a TRUE nightmare!! It subconsciously fuzzes over time because of how distant from reality it is, really adding to the effect.

[@russia4biden221]

You will fail when you get into the real world if you think school is hard

[@romanticmelody888]

If you come here because you need that little bit of peace, let me tell you please don't give up. You have to keep fighting. That stronger, faster, better you is waiting at the end of whatever battle you're fighting. It's not the end. It's only the beginning. You have to get up. Despite the numerous times you've been slammed into the ground you have to dust yourself off and ask "is that all you got?" Because you're strong. Know it. Own it. Trust me, I know. And if you have to go down, go down fighting with everything you've got. Never stop fighting. Please. I'm sure someday we will meet and show our battle scars and talk about how we made it. Sleep easy tonight. You need to rest.

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

I just survived a suicide attempt recently.... I'm very glad to have lived long enough to have read your beautiful comment and words of wisdom. It's people like you that I'm still here. I love you in the most friendliest platonic way possible. Thank you so much for your kindness. No one knows how long we have to live on this planet and how far our simple acts of kindness go and are far reaching. I genuinely hope that one day I become the reason why someone didn't take their life or give up.

[@arodoki]

I don't really know if I can tell you how much I needed this, but I needed this. Thanks.

[@rainworlddownpournews8321]

Thanks,this is sanity saving.

[@justiceofworld]

Thank you dear

[@bren9594]

This reminds me of my German shepherd who we raised since he was a puppy... Now he has left us to cancer, and this playlist reminds me that he is sitting, waiting for me to come pet him in heaven ):

[@jeffnewlin6920]

Tbh when you put all the names of the songs together, they somewhat make a sort of sentence/paragraph. "There were many things for which we exist. Golden days are just a thought, banalities of our existence. Disappointing attempt to go back, waltzing for eternity, preserved and valuable occasion. A sea of thoughts, a peaceful omen, fond memories of an empty past. What we feel is enhanced, an empty nostalgia, anemia, our lifelong dreams, déjà vu sonder, making memories last forever. Fleeting things beyond what was said. Things behind our mind, creation at the end of everything and memories lasted forever. There is nothing, as if it never happened, suffering in the thought of a glorious past." Edit: Thank you for 1 like Edit: Thank you for 2 likes Edit: Thank you for 3 likes

[@NodzGames]

Hello stranger, I love you.

[@louiscortez4766]

Hello

[@TMDFX0]

This gives me that weird feeling. Like I don't exist anymore, like I'm just a spirit on this planet, watching from another perspective, getting memories from a different someone and they feel like they're mine. It's divine. I don't know how to explain it... It's a scary, yet comforting feeling...

[@Neko_Shufflin]

You understand now, what it is to live. Life is about the journey not the destination.

[@taekkura]

My grandmother passed away earlier this year due to dementia, and I would like to think many happy memories was in her mind while she was passing away, and not the sad ones where she was abused as a child. Fly high Grandmother, your three daughters still miss you terribly. Us grandchildren still miss you.

[@WOEIT33]

If she had dementia, i don't think she would have remembered anything, no offense.

[@Anaxandros_Archidamos]

She is at peace and looking out for you. I hope you're in peace also.

[@layalsaleh4103]

@@WOEIT33ya never know when someone will get a moment of clarity, or terminal lucidity

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@Random_fish-frog]

@@russia4biden221 s h u t

[@henrycruz1512]

I'm thinking of my oldest brother while listening to this playlist. all i can think about is how unfair it was that he was taken from my life. It was only a simple surgery but complications accured the next morning and i had to see everything and even performed cpr until helped arrived. that year I was spending so much time with him. I wish here was still here . All i think about is him. I'm stressing out most of the days but, i keep myself distracted just so i dont have to remember his tragic passing.

[@zonkedout3518]

it's funny that even as our body goes cold our minds go to such a warm place...

[@dropdead9948]

Next week will be one year since my best friend died and it hit me like a truck when I read the title of the video because of how close the date is…

[@Tacoeater2.0]

I’m so sorry for loss :(

[@dropdead9948]

@@Tacoeater2.0

[@rm.4679]

Hope you’re doing well now. You matter, take care ♥

[@dropdead9948]

@@rm.4679 I’m trying my absolute best, I’ll be fine for sure. Thank you so much and the same goes to you

[@iilluminumooconfirmed1676]

As long as they remain with you in thought they are never truly dead.

[@elfasto2255]

My mom passed away on August 13th last year, although I wasn't with her for the longest time, I still had a strong bond with her, I miss her a lot.

[@the.seagull.35]

I'm sorry 😔

[@Yakkowarner11]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s tough. My Mom passed September 11th last year and it was about the same for me. Though I feel she knew her time on Earth was coming to an end and I was oblivious to it until it was too late and we had to make the decision to take her off life support after she’d been declared brain dead. Losing your Mom is rough and the world feels super lonely after. Or at least for me it has been.

[@meowz4days]

I'm sorry for your loss. My mom's birthday is August 13th.

[@goobi3780]

This is exactly how I imagine memories would be if they existed as planes of time that you could travel to. Some completely empty, some details are wrong, maybe the layout is distorted, but the one thing consistent with all is that nothing exists outside of them. Nothing. Maybe some memories have people in them, but they’re shadows of the past. Acting out the same moment over and over, oblivious to the loop. Something as simple as your mother placing her hand on your cheek to wake you up, and you looking up at her. That same act, reflected endlessly in one room, one place, one time, over and over. It’s sad. Like visiting your childhood home, and being confined only to a view of the outside. I can’t describe the type of sadness it makes me feel, this thought. It’s the same sadness, this hallow emptiness I feel when I finish a series I loved that had a sad but satisfying ending or staying at an empty house where a party had just ended all alone, or when I realize that the good old days were only a few years ago and I didn’t even know it. Maybe that feeling is loss, but it’s the most unique sadness I’ve ever felt.

[@LOL-cringe]

Being awake at 4am feels like everyone else on Earth is gone, and while that's a bad thing, you're at peace with it. This playlist really encapsulates that feeling.

[@ihaveasoul5357]

This is like Everywhere at the End of Time but less disturbing. It's not so hard to listen to but it definitely makes you think about lost loved ones or loved ones who may go soon...

[@Davidparty3]

Everywhere at the End of Time is very repetitive (literally). But every melody of that playlist has something magical.

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@NeverGonnaG]

@@russia4biden221 womp womp

[@russia4biden221]

@@NeverGonnaG What a cope. No one cares about you kid

[@DravenTiger]

@@russia4biden221 womp womp

[@ValerieReagan]

I came back to this playlist after my grandma passed to everyone's shock. I can't help but wonder what she was thinking and feeling during her last moments of consciousness. She was hospitalized for a sudden brain bleeding, and was recovering well, when one night she had several strokes and had to be taken off life support. It's been over 2 months, but from time to time I wake up in the middle of the night because her last words haunt me even when I'm sound asleep. "I'll see you tomorrow !"... It won't leave me alone. She always assured us death wasn't a bad thing, that those who died weren't gone, they just moved to the stars and are waiting for us. Yet, it hurts like hell. To know her time had to come so soon. Until the day we meet again, grandma.

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@nioXu]

@@russia4biden221 baits used to be believable

[@russia4biden221]

@@nioXu Kids like you can only cope when you see something you disagree with, no wonder no one respects your generation when you post garbage like this

[@fomo-omo]

@@russia4biden221 your entire channel is expired bait lol, nice try.

[@NahIdiPidor]

My grandmother died last month. Long story. She was very talkative, had a lot of friends and knew all our relatives, even the most distant ones. And like many grannys who, after these words, lived for another 40 years, she constantly said crap like “it’s time for me to die soon” and “you will live in these apartment when I die”. I didn't visit her at the hospital. I didn't go to her funeral. Only on her remembrance. There were only four people there including me. My father - her son, my grandfather - her husband, and her friend. It’s good that there weren’t a lot of speeches like “she’s happy there, she’s smiling at us”, no. She's dead, period. I don't regret anything, but the realization that she died alone, well, maybe with some randome medics around, is as unsettling as the goodbye words of her friend after ceremony, "you will live in these apartments". That, and the fact that I didn’t cry when I should've. Perhaps, my mind knew it was over long before I did.

[@WS-42009]

After the day you had you drift off in your head to a world where you can relax

[@FyeLuke]

My grandfather was a great man. He was the most loving person I had ever met. When I was a young boy, he spent all of his time with me. I can still hear his soft spoken words to this day.

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@NeverGonnaG]

@@russia4biden221 Bro you're saying that under every comment and yes are you okay? because this isn't funny man

[@russia4biden221]

@@NeverGonnaG And you coping about it proves that you losers only come to youtube for attention. Get a life kid

[@Wordsworthfanboy]

This is kind of a poem I wrote while listening to this playlist, don’t know where else to share it so if anyone reads this, I hope you like it. The last train I’m riding on a train and the sun blazes through the windows as I gaze tenderly upon everything that he shines his light into; I feel the warmth in my body and I feel the waves of emotion coming from the people that ride along with me; And I see auras of them, not mixing with mine, but theirs do mix and create just the one that fills the wagons’ every space. I’m here with all of them but I’m alone, and it’s cozy, and it’s serene; I’m one. I’m a stream of consciousness that dissolves into nothingness to create it all, I’m one. The auras are trying to melt into mine, they leak, and I thought they would mean harm, but a wave of bliss… I’m safe, cause after all, I’m one

[@Kiwi-Bird.]

wow! thats nice! I don't know If this is rude but I thought mabey I could share mine too? Tick-tock the clock has stopped. Sally’s heart has no more power, her husband's mind is lost forever. Tick-tock the clock has stopped The gears are gummed And the motor is dead. Tick-tock the clock has stopped. Yet the bells ring And the choir sings, Tick-tock the clock has stopped Lay down your head, Your time is up.

[@WyteChinpira]

When your poem is so good I can actually feel it

[@terraincognita9614]

I admire anyone who is able to be vulnerable and express themselves in a public format such as this. Thanks for sharing that dude

[@SkyKrye]

Wow, nice poem my guy, really hit me in the feels

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

I will see myself soon....see my eyes gazing gently back at me. Lovingly Hopefully...patiently... kindly guiding me. Just see yourself. Just see me too. I'm all right here. That is new. Just a little while longer.....and I will be there soon. My friends... my family..the long lost souls of those I've lost, safely tucked away through the folds of time and space. Once again, to greet their smiles with my own. To welcome them all back in a courtly manner. Feeling their warm smiles and eyes gaze upon my face. Locking eyes with me. Finally, I am connecting to my heart and mine alone. I'm free. Free from my pain. The pain of my abuse. My abusers can harm me no longer. Their frightening eyes terrify me no longer. My spirit is free. I can fly. Go as high as I please. No more fear, pain, or shame, all the guilt simply melting away. I finally am home with the family I've longed for my whole life. The family that was rightly bestowed upon me. Always there....gently, tenderly whispering over my shoulder "You are not alone. Your home is with us. Welcome home honey. You're safe now, rest easy..." I could cry just thinking that could possibly be waiting for me. Knowing that someday.....any day now....could be the day I get to come home.

[@G0m3rion]

This playlist reminds me the solitude I used to feel playing games in my old laptop. All games were single players, in an old laptop in a empty, old wooden desk just below a window. The morning sun entered so easely, and it was a bother to see anything with such brightness. There was nothing in there aside light, a dusty brown desk and my laptop. I spend lots of hours in there, drowning myself in solitude. But I also felt peacefull and warm, from the sunlight entering thought the window. One day, I decided I had enough, and left that desk and laptop in search of company, but I still have this vibid imagery of this empty desk in my mind.

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@JustADeliciousSandvich]

@@russia4biden221 Damn you didn't have to be a jackass like that 😭

[@w_h_y1112]

The first picture and this whole playlist makes me think of my great grandma. She isn't passed, no, but she is definitely reaching that point (she is in her late 80s and has heart issues and she also battled a head problem that made her loose most to all her hair) I always get a feeling of sadness when I think about the amount of guilt I have bc I don't see her too often, or maybe a remorseful sadness bc she is in a nursing home now. She used to have this beautiful BIG house and there was a grand dining hall and seating area with tall bookshelves of authentic books dating as far back to the 1910s. It always reminded me of Great Gatsby for some reason. On the holidays she would have this massive Christmas tree you could see through the beautiful arched windows with a beautiful porcelain angel at the too wearing gold. She was always a very soft spoken sweet woman and used to host game nights, holidays, and bdays at her house (needless to say her activity age hasn't catches up to her till the past few years). I remember wearing a certain more historical looking outfit (inspired by 20s-30s) and she was very happy to see me in such an outfit bc it reminded her of things her mother used to wear and what she wore when she was little. I don't get to hear about her stories often sadly, it makes me very sad, but some of the sweetest things she has said about her childhood memories was mainly about her father. I remember the first thing was when I saw a very old photo of him when he was younger and married to her mother- he used to wake her up in the morning singing her awake and sang her to sleep. The second story was when I just simply asked about fond memories and she said that she remembered sitting on her fathers lap while listening to the radio during WWII. It makes me sad I won't be able to see her much anymore (even less) and that she may pass in the next couple of years (her heart condition is only getting worse, she can't stand for very long, even with support) but at least I know she won't die lonely and unhappy. She will die warm in her bed with old childhood friends and family.

[@edgalexmtz]

I know that what I'm telling you is already in your thoughts: If there is a chance for you to see her again, do not miss it.

[@Lou-li5mv]

it's wonderful to hear what a life your grandma had and still has, surrounded by loved ones, and the way you appreciate her! I wish her all the best

[@anonimo8103]

im going thru the same, it really makes u see life of a different way

[@oakley5510]

take every momment you have to see her, make her even more happy.

[@mihailursu2006]

My father died when I was four ... his death was unknown but it's still speculated that he died to drowning . When I came here to listen I was reminded of the old memories, of me playing in a room and tossing a ball to him as he smiles or when he gave me a cute little t shirt which said: think outside the box , which i still wear it today , (resized and remastered) I poured my tears out when I listened for the first time, I hope he rests in peace man ...

[@ThatGuyNebula]

Because I've been slowly watching myself wither into a lesser version of myself, this title almost seems as if I'm saying goodbye to an older, yet more youthful and vibrant, version of myself. I haven't let go just yet, but I've been waving goodbye through a car window at him for the past year and I still can't seem to accept it, and drive away. My previous self is a reminder of how much I could be, and of what little use I am now. It's quite tragic, really. Any who, thank deeply for yet another fantastic playlist.

[@a.p.6580]

Don't you dare go hollow, friend. Even if the present sucks, and you just wanna end it, there's still the future, and the future is not written in stone, you have the power to make it beautiful! And this comes from a person who tends to be quite pessimistic.

[@ThatGuyNebula]

@@a.p.6580 Your response, especially the opening line, is incredibly helpful. It sounds like you may be a fan of Dark Souls, which is a good representation of how I see life today. Thank you, kindled one.

[@harshlahoti8368]

I have a friend who has been struggling (mentally) throughout the past year, it's difficult ofc but you've got to hold on mate, that's what I keep telling her too, we just can't give in to this dark pit. Do not go gentle into that good night...

[@a.p.6580]

@@ThatGuyNebula correct, fellow undead. My PSN is Submariner_Raffa (not sure about the underscore): if you wanna 1v1 sometimes, i'm down.

[@scooterwango]

I feel the same way sometimes, but something I remind myself of, is those previous versions of myself could never endure and overcome the trials that my current self is pushing through and overcoming. Sure, a pair of beat up shoes look like shit compared to a new pair of shoes, but those new shoes haven't covered any ground. Remember to love yourself at all points in your journey. Have a good one!

[@egg1643]

I actually have really bad memory loss. I forget everything and anyone if they don’t appear or meet me every once a month. I even forgot my own brothers face because I didn’t meet him for a few months. But because I have such bad memory loss these playlists hit me hard. Like there’s something I’ve forgot. Because I always forget things whether they be crucial or not so I’m always at unease and anxious that I might’ve forgotten something so I have to write it down.

[@the.seagull.35]

❤❤❤ "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock." Isaiah 26:3‭-‬4 🤝 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 ✝️ “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." John 14:1 ❤ "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6‭-‬7 🫂

[@v.shortwaver9391]

Hope this comment notification brings you back to this playlist again.

[@lara-fi4ww]

banalities of our existence is one of the most beautiful tracks nobody has created imo... it has that hazy, warm, fuzzy quality, like a warm shower of rain on an abandoned children's playground. it makes me nostalgic and sad for something i didnt know i had feelings for.

[@alexaviles4187]

i looked at ur spotify and was shocked to see u only had 10 listeners. bs. u deserve so much more. so glad i discovered u.

[@hajeo4461]

Yeah, i was suprised that all music is his... It's just unbelievable

[@raweggslav7645]

No one likes spotify

[@kathyfaye8229]

Me is one of those listeners :,)

[@trizss]

but they have 19.924🤨🤨🤨🤨

[@johhanwindsalor9478]

Maybe, it has to do with the fact that a lot of us don't use Spotify?

[@jochemkraaij6023]

These songs play at the moment when you revisit memories in your head. You didn't hear them then. But now you see yourself walking, talking and doing stuff. You see yourself listen to this in your memories, even though this music didn't play at that time. And then, finally... You talk to your memory-self. You see yourself talking to your memory-self, It's an infinite loop, but you're ok with it. you can die peacefully now.

[@charliotttttgreen]

Listening to this playlist make me remember the last time i could pet the dog of my grandpa Suzi, was her name, i wish she was here.. i remember that i was in the dinner table with my family, then my dad told me that she died from old.. i didn't believe in the first time, then, my eyes got full of tears and all i could hear was my dad saying "Are you going to cry?".. and, i did cried, i cried so much for minutes and maybe hours? I don't remember. I got so sad that my other grandma took me for her house... It's been a year since she passed away, and i really wish i was there for her.. i wish i could have done more for her... just imagining how was her death or how was the reaction of my grandpa when he found her dead in her bed, laying peacefully just having her last memories before dying.. Makes me wanna cry.. I'm sorry Suzi, i couldn't do much for you, sorry that my cousin, the other who took care of you, was a fucking disgusting manipulator and wanted to make bad things with you sometimes. I wish I could see your smile again, running towards me and lying on my lap excited that I was there to make you company.. I'm sorry I once forced you out of your space, I just wanted to help you, but you were scared and I wish I had realized that much sooner. I hope wherever you are, you can be truly happy without the pain of staying alone at night with the sounds of the forest you slept close, without the pain that your sister died before you, but.. now, you can see her, you can play with her! And i promise to you, sooner i'm going to found you and give you alot of kisses!... Sooner.. I can't cry, she would be sad if i cried... .. I love you Suzi, you were my dear friend, and you are!.. Even though i can't stop blaiming me for not being there... I don't think i'm the best friend.. but i hope that before your death, i made your last days the best. Thank you so much for that playlist Nobody, you made my old memories come back in such a beautiful way.. you got a new subscriber! Keep doing this videos that you are going far! And to the person who read this to the end, I hope you have a great day, don't forget to drink water! ~ Signed: Oliver. 16/08/22

[@HeavenPrinceAmiri]

This really hits me in a way I haven’t felt before, it’s weird since I can’t remember much of my past, these songs make me feel like I had many memories and that’s a little scary I won’t lie… but makes me also a little happy knowing I got to make memories.

[@Bunnsaitree]

To be honest, when I read the title, I thought of a person somehow connecting to someone on a deeper level. Closing their eyes and suddenly awakening in an unknown place, a ghostlike onlooker with a faded appearance. A field, green hills rolling for what seems like forever, a sweet mellifluous bird tune soars and the flowers. They’re gorgeous, forget me nots, daisies, pansies, roses, streaming on with butterflies and bees mingling on their petals. And right there, stood before them, is the once sickly someone from the hospital bed, young, healthy, filled with an exuberance unable to be put in words. A grin on their visage, pinned from cheek to cheek with a flowering mirth in their eyes. They’re running around in a white suit/dress and they just stop and stare at the person, tugging their hand jovially and beckoning them to follow. A door erupts from the surrounding fauna, it’s once brightly painted door has cracks, it’s peeling and has faded ever so slightly (but for a wooden door, it’s homely and in decent condition) and it opens. They’re tugged in by the someone. As the person walks in their jaw goes slack, brows raising in confusion. A room splays out before them, this time the someone has aged a little, though their ongoing smile perpetually continues (and the someone holds the persons hands the entire time as the scene starts, like a lost puppy unable to let go, tugging at the persons shirt and arm to point at everything) as the scene progresses, it begins to crackle and fade before another door erupts from the fading film- the wood seems less aged, but it’s not recognizable as the same one from before. As new doors begin to open at the end of each scene, each memory becomes more faded, more corrupted, like a broken record. And the someone slowly ages, bags under their eyes deepen, their face gaunt, skin paled. Until the last door. No longer a prim white, it lacks colour and oddly looks gaunt, a frown plays at the persons face. The someone is no longer next to them, a frown marring the persons expression as their eyes attempt to find someone before they enter the next door. But to no avail, now alone, the person surreptitiously scrutinizes the aged door. The gold handle is chipped, fingerprints covering the outlined brass. it’s the hospital again and they see themself. The sickly someone is on their hospital bed once again (a frail smile at their lips) and someone and person both grasp each others hand. A tight feeling erupts in the persons chest before warmth surrounds them. It’s the young someone tugging them into a hug as tears stream down their face. The person and someone look upon the scene for a last time, before someone turns to them with an unfathomable expression, weary eyes and trembling hands placing a hand on top of theirs. The person’s eyes open suddenly, before them is the sickly someone (they’re back in the hospital room, the person assumes), having passed away with a smile on their face. In their last moments, they relived every memory with the most precious person to them on hand. Melancholic, but oddly content, they passed away in a warm embrace.

[@Brothisisprivate]

Bro you should be a writer i almost cried reading this

[@Brothisisprivate]

What a beautiful mind you have

[@Bunnsaitree]

@@Brothisisprivate haha, thank you! Means a lot (:

[@wildrosecece]

Another fantastic writer on this channel! Great story! Thank you.

[@Atrippyboy]

Damn, that brought tears to my eyes. Have a good day friend

[@AlwaysSleepy]

My grandmother passed away the day after my 13th birthday back in 2018. I never got to see her as much as I would've liked as I lived across the state from her but nevertheless I always had a strong connection to her. I remember she always sent me the monthly highlights magazines when I was a little kid and it felt so special to get them in the mail, I still have them to this day. Near the end of her life she had dementia, couldn't even recognize my dads voice sometimes let alone my own others. It got to the point where my dad had to lie to me on why I couldn't talk to her, said she was sick but in reality it's cause of her dementia getting worse overtime and it was unbearable to see and listen to. When I found out she had passed it was devastating to me as I was so close to her all my life despite being across the state from her. Listening to this makes me wonder if she was accomplished with her life, if she was happy. I guess I will never know.

[@thatretrocattt]

My great grandmother had passed away a week ago, she had lived quite the fulfilled life with school. marriage, kids that would essentially become my family and so forth. No longer will she suffer, only rest as she had completed her life's goals. In peace, forever.

[@wildrosecece]

After reading through these stories and comments, I am amazed at the humanity, grace and passion people have for others and life. Compassion for their pets, people, memories inspired by this music. This is truly the real world, not the world presented to us on the outside. Pretty magical, and thank you to everyone sharing here, you help someone more than you know. ❤️

[@quin340]

I love this comment

[@homerothompsonliberal7653]

❤️❤️❤️

[@russia4biden221]

No one cares.

[@thequestion7662]

Blue No matter how far I try to run, the feeling always seems to catch me. This time is different, I remember all the nights spent together and I’m trying detach but it’s difficult. I’ve been going on night drives and staying up later then usual, and all I can think about is how big the world is. So many corners, so many hallways, and so many lives, and the thought of you not in mine feels cold. I feel blue, I feel vulnerable, and I feel small. I just wish things could restart and create a different path. I’m scared, so scared, but I have to wake up, I have to put my shirt on, and I have to live. My heart has broken, and you can’t even tell. I hope you are happy, and I hope you find what you are searching for. As we part ways I’ll always remember you being a beacon on a dark beach somewhere off in the distance while I float aimlessly through waves of confusion, not to mention how deep the water is. Life seems to be a constant confusion, but the love I had felt warm and made sense, the nights you would hold me grounded me. Winter is here, and I feel the cold beginning to embrace my consciousness. Ahead a tall mountain, buried in the dark blue hue of dusk with no light awaits travel, behind the vast depths of a black abyss swashing in all directions. Taking it day by day is to long, I take it step by step, feeling the ground beneath my feet shiver in the corner of the night. I am the lonely being waiting for the midnight train to take me home after a long day of work. I pray for you, and myself. God is in control now, and I’m trying. K/c

[@foreststarr6879]

Fuck, that's a sad but beautiful story man.

[@juniorramirez2314]

You think this will ever stop bro what we and sum people like us are going through like that or worse or all togther u think. I can be normal not consistently day dream about a fantasy abt me people stories games and movies and so much more I keep making story's in my head like am the main character and it's like am watching it but am not but it's causing me to day dream and just not realize or really focus like hay am in here in first person am lookin at my hands am like wow am real am not spectator am not watching am moving and breathing am eating and drinking. Jesus am stop but u think it will ever stop?

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

I love you so much. You have no idea. I've always dreamt my whole childhood of crossing paths with someone such as yourself. People like you help me know that I am not alone... On the internet, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. There will always be at least a thousand people like you thinking the same exact thoughts you thought during your most frightening moments longing, craving, yearning for a meaningful human connection that helps them to feel whole and centered in the universe. And for that.....and that alone. I love you. I will always love you. I don't need to know your name or see your face to know that you are just like me. Humans crave connections. I will always remember you. ❤️

[@juniorramirez2314]

@@ArquaticDreamer1994 if this for me thank you if ain't very nice kind words u put in for that person that touch my heart. Thank you

[@nilsonrodriguez7135]

I’ve been dealing with awful depression for a while and this is one of the very few things I can listen to without making my anxiety worse. It’s a very light salve to my mind and I’m ever thankful.

[@the.seagull.35]

Hey I've been very depressed for a while too. I hope you have a good weekend. For me weekends get pretty tough. Not much to do. Its always a good idea just to make a plan, just get out of the house and do something. Hope you have something fun to do 😎

[@joshjohnson284]

I hope your condition has improved, depression is a horrific disease. Always there and very little you can do about it

[@TalonJustice]

I hope that you'll find peace soon. It can be tough, but you'll make it.

[@Bo-BotMKII]

@@joshjohnson284depression isn’t a disease

[@ovechkin100]

this playlist makes me feel happy about being sad and lonely.. and thats a feeling im not sure how to handle.

[@dunwich.chillout]

What happiness it is to read the comments of people with good musical taste! I would be happy if you took a look at my videos... I create similar content, and I would like to know what can be improved.. I would be very grateful!!!!

[@phalanxage]

I haven’t cried in years but I just all of a sudden had big drops running down my cheeks. I miss connection with people, thank you for this though, it helps me in my solitude

[@tuamaejacarepue]

This playlist is always beside me ❤️ When I wanna cry When I wanna rest When I wanna sleep When I lost someone And when I wanna recover myself

[@Wolfsta]

Me too

[@dransnake]

I don't know why, but the first song in the playlist calls to me so hard. Every time I open this playlist, I have to start at the beginning and work my way through the entire thing. I've never been able to start this playlist in the middle

[@taloncarpenter9815]

my great grandpa died recently. dementia. died right at the dinner table. one moment, everyone was talking to him, they looked away, and when they looked back…we got the call minutes after, my aunt in tears. the last time i saw him in person was years ago before he and my great grandma moved to Washington. i shudder to think of who he became during those years, mentally and physically. the disconnect was real and apparent whenever i was around him. sometimes he’d become aggressive, like i was some intruder who needed to be cast out lest we all suffer some consequence. he constantly needed reminders of who his wife was, his children were, his great grandchildren were, that we weren’t threats or strangers. what a sad, lonely, and frankly terrifying existence. i wish i could’ve been with him, connected with him, accompanied him in the vast, bleak void that is forgetfulness. at least this music helps me feel that in those final moments at the dinner table, he might’ve finally remembered his wife, his children, me.

[@mitsugit3873]

this make me realise how much i feel lonely, and how much i suffer from it, but, for a certain reason, it's reasuring, i feel comfortable, i just wanna lye down here for the rest of my life

[@Endymion766]

these photos strike me as the memories of someone who worked as a janitor or security guard their whole lives and spent a lot of time in empty places.

[@annieq800]

I've played this playlist in the background once or twice but it's almost 2am and I wandered into the comment section... people writing about their loved ones and friends who've passed away. It made me think of my grandmother, she died some months after a stroke a few years back. Her speech was badly affected but sometimes you could make out what she was saying, although she didn't speak much after that. She spoke of her dad, and other dead relatives. Hovering around her. Asking us to make them leave, in her garbled speech. This playlist hit me really hard. I was in uni the day she passed. I can't even imagine what memories she had floating in her mind in that state. I hope they were good. I hope they carried her off into peace.

[@leoorton6533]

I can just imagine like- we're death itself, or something. strolling through the mind of a man as he passes, walking along side him in his memories, the little moments, as they slowly crumble to nothing. unable to do, or influence anything. We see his sorrow, his joys, everything. and we watch it all go by.

[@JulieMalia]

I was the last memory of my great grandma and possibly my best friend. I always remember how she was still going because she wanted to meet me. Her great granddaughter that learned Japanese just for her. Her great granddaughter that would send her cards in Japanese just so even if I didn’t meet her she would know I cared.

[@BornotB-xi6kg]

My grandmother passed last Sunday and whilst I grieve her this video makes me wonder what the last few things she thought about were, or what the last things so many people think about before their minds go dim and their bodies go limp.

[@outseteddy6306]

It’s eerie how these images, while not exactly what I see or remember, fit the same vibes of my dreams as well as the music of course. In many of my dreams, I feel like I’m either searching for my family, waiting to be picked up by my parents after school, or trying to get home to them to no avail. Waking up and remembering the dreams, they’re mostly interesting and I look forward to them but through another perspective, ‘l’ am incredibly lonely in them, like I’m always lost and in a ‘liminal’ area the ones I’m searching for do not exist in. Again I enjoy the weird lonely adventure in these dreams, but waking makes me appreciate my loved ones.

[@danys1239]

Something about it being soft piano music with the ambient sound in background is giving it this liminal space vibes, which makes it sound so special

[@xaxsimplexescapex]

Some of these songs remind me of walking through an empty mall near closing time and hearing the reverb of the automatic piano echo throughout the property. It's such an empty feeling, yet so precious. It is puzzling to find a strange comfort in abandoned atmospheres

[@nagabe6394]

this made me remember when my mother died, my aunt said she asked to see when before she passed away. I was not there, since I got a high fever from (probably) constantly taking care for her for a few days straight at the hospital. beautiful playlist, thank you for making this.

[@yangliu9214]

i feel you, my mother gone forever in the last week

[@nagabe6394]

@@yangliu9214 I send you virtual hug.

[@bbqdoritos3419]

This made me feel even sadder, i had a friend who died a month and 10 days ago, i worked with him, spent most of my time with him together, he was my friend of joy, he got me outside of my house, he was the one, he was a true lad - Rest in peace rupiņa

[@the.seagull.35]

💔

[@ziegfeldgirlz]

I miss my grandfather so much… he passed away last year, but time did not cure my misery. I have been crying almost every night ever since his death, reminiscing about our days together, about how close we were and how his love was taken from me with his last breath. I only seem to ignore this sorrow when I’m doing irrational things such as partying throughout the night, drinking and kissing strangers - I wonder if it isn't a blessing that he's not here anymore, not here to see how rotten I've become. I miss him to the point of desperation. I still needed my grandfather with me. My grandmother needs my assistance, but I'm not strong enough to enter that house to comfort her while I still bleed. I miss his voice telling me that everything would be fine.

[@_Fermi]

This makes me look at some past memories with regret and remorse for things I could've done better, all while I know that I'll end up in that same situation on memories I make in the present, knowing that there was nothing I could've done to prevent this; just pure hopelessness. At the same time it makes me feel that I did everything at the moment to feel present with everyone, and that's something worth it to me.

[@ami-fl7pz]

A year ago I wasn't afraid to die. Now I am. I am afraid that all these hardwork won't give me anything after death. And I'm scared that I would leave my parents like that, or we'll part ways as if we were nothing but mere blinks of eyes, or leaking consciousness in this vast universe. Even though I have so much anger towards many people, amongst everyone is myself, I still want to be able to embrace then even after death. Maybe, that's what I actually need, a single and genuine hug. I want to hug my mother whilst she cooks, my father after coming home, my niece and nephews, I just want to be able to embrace everyone in my treasure circle. The fuck am I sentimental for? But, I just want to say this out loud and remind ny future self that I can still feel, and hope that they can finally hug their parents like it's something they cannot leave the house without.

[@NeonSunburst]

Whenever I get to hear this type of ambient music, I always pictured standing in a shore when waves are calm under a nautical twilight. This interpretation of my picture is my iconic nostalgia as I was bonding with emptiness, with no problems, the medium blue sky gave me calmness, and just relieving thoughts or often picturing my past memories that are very nostalgic while hearing the waves hitting the shore line.

[@LOL-cringe]

It's interesting how 3am is the time where all the spooky stuff happens but 4am is the time of pure serenity

[@MercuryXZ]

19:35 preserved and valuable occasion, i keep replaying that one. i feel such a deep connection to your music. thank you for creating these pieces.

[@fang._.lover2]

00:00 there were many things for which we exist 05:17 golden days are just a thought 09:26 banalities of our existence 13:04 disappointing attempt to go back 16:21 waltzing for eternity 19:35 preserved and valuable occasion 22:46 a sea of thoughts 26:21 a peaceful omen 30:08 fond memories of an empty past 34:43 what we feel is enhanced 39:18 an empty nostalgia 43:32 anemoia 47:16 our lifelong dreams 50:19 déjà vu, sonder 53:22 making memories last forever 56:38 fleeting scenes beyond what was said 01:00:56 things behind our mind 01:05:48 creation at the end of everything 01:11:26 and memories lasted forever 01:16:15 there is nothing, as if it never happened 01:19:54 suffering in the thought of a glorious past

[@Durshw]

very nice

[@purechaos1091]

Preesh!

[@jackherer_078]

It reads like a poem

[@Eassstt]

I passed away 7 weeks ago, still can't get over it

[@emilyhorgan4753]

almost every day i come back to this specific playlist, the music is so beautiful and it’s still so fantastical to me that someone could create such melancholic and undoubtedly beautiful music. my mother recently passed away from suffering with dementia for five years and i’ve listened to every song in this playlist as a way to help cope, i guess? this music just makes me feel calm in a depressing sort of way, but it has me remember her, even if i have to remember her longer than i’ve known her. so with the warmest heart, thank you, nobody

[@LOL-cringe]

This isn't depression, this isn't sadness, this is peace.

[@marylolalolita]

Last week my grandpa passed away. I saw his eyes while he slept and also awake while in his last days at the hospital. I saw that he wasn't himself anymore, just his deep lost thoughts and memories coming back again. I wanted to talk to him, but he couldn't cause a stroke paralysed him. Today listening again this playlist it hits differently. It hits sadly, as I can see in my mind the eyes of a loved one, remembering his past life since the 1940s when he was born. So many things has he seen that I can't even imagine. I remember some stories, and I will always remember the last time he talked to me. He said that he missed being able to read and write, something he has always loved like me. Rest in peace grandpa. I will always love you.

[@the.seagull.35]

That's a beautiful comment.

[@PoemsofaGirl]

I deal with amnesia due to psychological illnesses. This honestly makes me so sad but I’m planning on keeping this to watch later

[@scooterwango]

Did you remember to give it a listen? If not, you should!

[@willhernandeziam]

Welcome back. Stay awhile and enjoy

[@piepsipear]

a small reminder that you wanted to come back and listen to this! 🫶🏻

[@ArcherSweet]

Hey, writing a diary would help?

[@666marq]

She forgot...

[@milkwithice6156]

Came for the music, stayed for the pictures. I love these pictures so much.

[@DaMVP17]

The music gives such a sense of calmness and sadness at the same time. Makes the depression a little bit better. Thank you

[@msicvbes4977]

How do you even come up with those titles? And those pictures? They are always so unique 😭

[@yogurtofthemultiverse2200]

I miss my great aunt. I know everyone has their stories to tell here, so I hope you all don't mind. Her name was Big Joanie-- because Little Joany was her nephew and my aunt. She was hit by a car while she was driving, and everything was going perfect, i though we'd be okay. And then she just... stopped acting right. I left for school and told her I loved her, and when i got home, sometthing was wrong. She wasn't getting up to go to the bathroom, or making breakfast in the morning, or watching her shows. She had a stroke, and she started dying. She didnt really hwve many coherent thoughts in the month or two following, except one morning. I got up and gave her a hug. Crying my brains out because I knew she was going away. She asked why I was crying. I said, "because i love you so much. And I don't want you to go." She said, "stop crying, hun. I'm not leaving you. I'm tougher than that." She actually got up, and gave me a hug, even though she usually couldn't, and I gave her a hug back and cried. I wish i had held her longer. She said she had to use the bathroom, so I walked her there. She died a few weeks later, and before she passed away, I drew her a drawing. Of her favorite chair, sunk into the sand on a hawaii beach. The text said "vacation where you'll always be. I love you. I'll miss you." She was cremated holding it. A few weeks later, I had a dream of her driving me to school. She asked why I seemed so upset, and the dream became lucid. I realized it was her, and I said, "because you're gone. And I miss you." She said, "well, I was gonna go eventually. I told you that a long time ago. But I love you too." I dont remember the rest of our talk. I just remember driving in a golden field. I miss her a lot still. Ill probably try talking to her tonight, because i know she's watching, badass lesbian she is, telling me to get off my ass and stop crying. And I love her for it. I'll hang in for as long as I can. Then, im gonna go see her once I'm done. I love you Joanie

[@oldwestdemons5391]

When i was a child my mother used to came a week every six months because of her work (she's was a doctor in a Rural Hospital) in a secluded place, so when she came home she tried to do normal things with me, not to impress me, just to make me feel like everything's normal, we go to the church and then to the supermarket, sunday when she have to leave again she stayed with me in my bed, i´ve got a treasured memory of her when i woke up, looking at me, wishing me a good morning, a warm May day, the soft orange glow of the sun coming through the window and through the thin white sheets, her hand in my cheek, birds singing in the tree outside, the perfect moment, my mom and i in an embrace that will last for eternity, that's the last thing i want to remember before i die.

[@kst4rr.7]

i truly wish i could listen to this, but it reminds me so much of my great grandma. I know her dying is inevitable but she can’t even remember my name. I lived with her for 12 years and she practically raised me, and as we both got older i helped take care of her (even though i wasn’t the nicest to her, and i was cheated out of a childhood). I got my personality from her and also my strength. I fear i might not be one of her last memories before she goes, and that is the most unsettling upsetting feeling ever. It hurts to think about. I hope she lives to at least see me graduate, cause if not i might not even finish high school. This music is exactly what it feels like to have her ask me my name and who i’m related to. It’s unsettling, but still so comfortable because she’s unaware. Last night (christmas eve) she asked me “who gave me this blanket?” and i told her “you brought it from home, im not sure” and all she could say was “i’ve never seen this before..” She said this a good 3-4 times. The reason i’m writing all of this is because of you are being forgotten by a loved one, you cannot be angry with them. They can’t control it. I know it’s sad, hard, and frustrating, but you need to remember to be gentle and kind with them. Give them friendly reminders, help them with certain tasks, and most importantly cherish every moment with them. You never know when your last will be. ❤️

[@tajzu]

BRO U MAKE THIS MUSIC?!?!?!?!?! Just found that out, you are insane. this shit is beautiful

[@chansuelynn6759]

The door creaked opened very slowly, sweeping away the dust that rest on the floor. The room was pitch black with some familiar silhouettes. The empty bed with neat tuck blanket over the mattress. The table covering with layer of dust and cobwebs, the chest keeping his favorite memoirs tucked in the corner and on the center of the floor lies an old toy that stuck his heart. An hand made doll, the one he spent the night sewing and building as a gift to welcome him to a world. "......I'm sorry, bother. I've- I should have keep you close. I should have protect you" he softly spoked as he carried the toys and examine it. It was many years ago, yet the mixture of pain, guilt and sadness kept coming back to him like waves. He admit he didn't want to believe that his brother is dead, yet he couldn't find the soul of his nor his body. He wonder that if he still have keep by his side, maybe, just maybe, he will still be there, smiling while proudly showing the progress he makes.

[@kwentongpotchero6750]

Wow

[@legenddary3020]

I think this reminds me the most of myself. I've been kinda of spiraling down this hole of undiagnosed depression for almost a year and a half now. There are really bad days and really good days, but regardless it just constantly feels like I'm being pushed to the floor and someone is stepping on my chest. It's not enough to stop my heart, but enough to make it uncomfortable, its enough to make my heartbeat erratic and uneven. I myself know that my heart doesn't beat right and that my head sometimes thinks too much or too little, i know there's something wrong, I've always known, I just don't know how to get help. You know a long time ago, when I was a different person, in a different time, I used to think I made peace with death. I used to think about how peaceful and freeing it would be to have a clear mind once again and simply exist in what you once were before life. Yet, lately I feel like I'm floating. I can't remember anything from two days ago let alone my childhood. I can't feel my feet on the ground or the wind in my hair or the rain on my skin. I feel unattached to everything, like a separate entity, outside looking in, as if i don't belong inside humanity. All in all it feels like I'm dying. And I don't think I ever made peace with death if this is what it feels like. I just think overtime I forced myself to become comfortable with the idea of death because this depressive, numb feeling feels like the end of me or at least it will end with me. I'm not saying this because I'm suicidal or anything, I'm not ready to die, I have so much I want to do, so much I want to give. I'm saying this because when I do die, whether it's ten years from now in a car accident or when I'm eighty in a hospital bed, I think this feeling, this depression is still going to be with me and it'll only die once I die. I just hope I learn to live with it because I haven't yet and I don't want all my memories to be painted in the same sorrow that's somehow embedded itself into my bones now.

[@oldwestdemons5391]

Depression is the death itself, i too got it and understand everything you said, some days are worse than others, i can't even laugh with my daughter or cry, is a living hell, i just want to be happy with all my heart but is so difficult, it makes me feel ill and everyone around me are tired; suicidal thoughts are not an option, just keep living and hoping one day it end. i just want to be happy.

[@8472turtle]

You are not alone... Please know that. You described well what many of us feel. My kids keep me going but definitely good n bad days. Health issues that are serious limited me as well and makes the depression worse... Anxiety and depression... Over n over.... You are not alone though... And I hope you find your peace. May we all find peace.

[@ArquaticDreamer1994]

You've described my life/death perfectly. Or rather the death of my will to live. There is no part of what you mentioned right there that was left unsaid. Completely 100% agree and relate to everything you just commented. Depression is the death of the self. Self hatred. Self-loathing, the inappropriate guilt that doesn't belong to you. The shame, agony of knowing you'll never quite be as happy go lucky as you once were as a kid. I can guarantee you. Without a shadow of a doubt that as I have gotten older, my life has gotten progressively worse in quality and I am miserable. But with age comes wisdom. And I'm able to find silver linings in the clouds where they overshadow me. It is the bane of my existence but recently I've found a hope I won't ever let go of. I wish you well.

[@CrossbredManiac]

Absolutely beautiful music. It feels like I'm going through my own dying past before the memories fade into obscurity. I'm losing my memory. It's nothing new, but it never gets easier. I've nearly died many times and this evokes the same feeling of suspended time and momentary peace before a realization... And the loss of whatever memory I had left from before that moment. Thank you for letting me explore this feeling with your music. You're truly talented and deserve so much more attention than you've garnered. I'll definitely become a repeat listener. Again, thank you.

[@tinflesh]

I don't usually comment on stuff like this, but this made me really emotional and I was going through a rough time right now. I play guitar and my arms been fucked up from strained muscles and ligament and I've been feeling hopelessly depressed. Crying to this made me feel a whole lot better and I wrote some journals while listening to this. I'm so thankful. Subscribed❤️

[@ignaciohernandezmartinez6891]

Who else sees the window at minute 20 and sees the background of windows 98? yes they are memories xD Thank you, Nobody. Your music helps me a lot during my study seasons 

[@dangootaku8013]

I've lost my first best friend, Alyona, in 2011, when i was 8 years old. She was 2 and a half years older than me. We were so close that i think sometimes that she is my elder sister, and to be honest, in many ways it really felt like that. Our mothers has a very long and close friendship since university, and every summer (most often - in august) my mother, my little brother and i went to the village where Alyona with her mother lived. I've remember that time as the one of the best moments of my life, when the world seemed simpler and brighter. She was cheerful, kind and curious like an angel. In Russia, the institution of the village is in a very sad condition; almost in decline. Everyone runs to large cities, and many settlements, in which only old people used to live, have died out altogether, transformed into the "ghost-villages". Very often, our villages are a rather boring, depressing and sad sight (if they are not abandoned), and Alyona's village was no exception. However, thanks to her... For me, it was one of the funniest and most interesting places in the world. Once upon our trinity (Alyona, me and my LB) climbed in abandoned bakery, where i fell down the stairs and twisted my leg. That was a dark and scary place for me when i was a child, and i was the only one who dispute with Alyona before we go to bakery (of course, i couldn't admit that i was scare. Y'all know how it is with kids). And, of course, after my "unsuccessful flight" down the stairs, through the darkness of old scary building - i couldn't keep myself calm anymore. I started crying and blaming Alyona in all what that happened. We... has a quarrel. Again. In general, we often quarreled, despite our friendship, and it always ended in tears for one of us, if not both. The bakery was her idea, just like everyone else. That's why I often blamed her for the troubles we got into. She was the generator of all our fun, even when she came to a city unfamiliar to her, to visit us. They didn't have a computer, but she nevertheless taught me some useful things (like changing the desktop background, for example). I associate a lot of things with her, and one of them - the videogame "Pyramide Runner" from Alawar (russian game developers) that we played when she was visiting us. I even remember one level that we tried to complete together (the game was in the style of Load Runner, but with the aesthetics of ancient Egypt). In day, when she's gone, as my mother later told me, I was very depressed, although I did not even know about everything that had happened. That day I took to school a small tiger toy that Alyona gave me. I chose her from a ton of other toys. Perhaps there was some kind of spiritual connection between us, even if it sounds silly. Mother kept from me Alyona's death for two whole years. All two years they told me that Alyona was "very ill", and I believed it, and constantly looked forward to the next trip to the village. In 2013, they told me everything. They said that she had died of cancer, and I was so shocked that I simply could not describe the whole palette of my emotions. I didn't cry - maybe that because I subconsciously refused to believe that she was no more. It is difficult for a child to explain what "forever" means - as a rule, this becomes clear with age. And "forever" came to me only 10 years after the death of my first best friend. In 2021, when I visited her grave in the first time. Sorrow always comes to me not immediately, but that's was a moment when I fully realized everything. And then I began to mourn her; I gave away tons of tears that I owed a long time ago. I simply could not stop, and I think I will never forget how I sit in the kitchen and sob, and next to me is a mug of chamomile tea, which I then drank in huge quantities in order to somehow calm down. I saw her everywhere. I wanted so damn much to talk to her that I hoped for a dream where she would appear, even if it could be a nightmare. I mourned for the first time and in full force. Now I'm much better. I visit the village cemetery every year, and I talk to myself for a long time at her grave, hoping that some higher powers will still hear this and will convey it to those ears for which it is intended. The worst thing for me during the grieving period was to think that there was nothing up there. Maybe I even became a little more religious. When came to the village in first time after many years, this place seemed to me somehow... empty. Abandoned, like a nest without a bird - although the village was still full of people. Without Alyona, this place seems to have died to me, or, if I may so burst out, part of my childhood has crept in here to die - just like cats and dogs do. This playlist instantly made me think about Alyona, now I find her image almost everywhere. In a way, it's even inspiring. However, I don't want anyone to experience what I experienced. May your best friends always be by your side. The author of the playlist - respect. P.s. I apologize for my bad English, if in some places it really is. However, when reading the comments, I notice a huge number of people with their own stories from all over the world who are united by this playlist. We humans are closer than we think, aren't we?

[@xwvz57]

Прими мои соболезнования друг(

[@dangootaku8013]

@@xwvz57 Спасибо