"You're Not My Mother!" How to Talk to Your Egg-Donor Child

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"You're Not My Mother!" How to Talk to Your Egg-Donor Child

Рет қаралды 19,417

Path2Parenthood

12 жыл бұрын

Mother-daughter team Helane Rosenberg, Ph.D. and Allegra Heart Epstein continue their conversation.

Пікірлер: 71

@smiley2477 6 жыл бұрын

She handled this well. Telling her that she would never say she wasn't her daughter really puts it in perspective. Their is a special bond by blood but it's not the only way to be a parent or have a child.

@Uber1937 Жыл бұрын

Para la naturaleza, sí.

@getgatter7532 10 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry you feel the way you do. Maybe talking to a professional would help. I struggled for a long time with the decision to use an egg donor. I'd had 3 miscarriages and had under gone multiple rounds of IVF before deciding to do it. I have two wonderful children now and couldn't love them more. Although I will admit that I am constantly aware that they aren't mine genetically I don't regret the decision for a minute. Please talk to someone. Keeping it bottled up won't help.

@LondonsLanding 2 жыл бұрын

It is so good to hear that you don’t have regrets 🤗

@Uber1937 Жыл бұрын

No son tus hijos y ellos lo saben. La naturaleza es un libro abierto y no permite que su ley sea cambiada, por nadie. Obliga a los niños a volver donde ella los puso: con su madre.

@holyempressw8531 Жыл бұрын

@@Uber1937 exactly

@OWNReview 3 жыл бұрын

Heartfelt 🥺

@suesuan4079 5 жыл бұрын

I had ivf with donor eggs 2 years ago. The procedure was anonymous. We didn't have an ability to see the photo of our donor. But we knew that our clinic chooses donors for de ivf programs carefully. We gave a list of all needed features(we wanted our donor to have same hair color, nose and face shape as I have, etc). We were given 3 variants so we chose the one which suited the most. I've got pregnant from the first try. Now we have our 2yo daughter) We were looking for agencies and clinics where de ivf can be done for a really long time. Eventually we picked up clinic in Europe and didn't regret.

@Uber1937 Жыл бұрын

Te arrepentirás cuando la niña diga: "Señora, tengo que buscar a mi madre". La naturaleza ke obliga a hacerlo. No somos Dios.

@holyempressw8531 Жыл бұрын

@@Uber1937 exactly

@lvt2050 11 ай бұрын

@@Uber1937 BS, there are many kids who are not interested who are their donors. Also many ppl, me included, consider only a code that gives shape and features of my body. The fact that there are ppl with genetic connection to me means nothing to me if they are a crap human.

@Uber1937 11 ай бұрын

@@lvt2050 Están interesados en vivir con quién sea que compre el óvulo. La Naturaleza es un constructo social. No existe. Existe paga y los demás hacen lo que tú quieras, porque para eso has pagado.

@taliabraver 10 ай бұрын

Why are you so angry?@@lvt2050

@blairwaldorf9752 10 жыл бұрын

This is exactly what I fear the most-rejection of me by them! I used donor eggs in 2006 and had twins and I regret my decision everyday. I realized I was not their mother, simply a gestational carrier. Now I have to pretend everyday to care as a mother would. You may think me cruel, but it's a living hell. No one (except hubby) knows my dirty little secret. A friend found by accident a few years ago, and I totally panicked. Had to cut off all communication and hope she did not blackmail me. Donor egg is not for everyone. I know that now but it's too late. It's more like adoption and they will all eventually go looking for their real mother. I hope I am dead before they find out because I cannot face the shame and failure. A warning to women-think really hard about donor eggs. They are not your children, they are your husband's.

@davlor86 10 жыл бұрын

lol i don't think Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's adopted kids complain about looking for their natural parents, im sure they have right now a way better lifestyle they did when they lived in their "home" countries.

@milly1441 9 жыл бұрын

I think the problem is if you tell the children they are egg or sperm donor babies, they're always going to feel incomplete and naturally want to find out more about where they came from, even adopted children do that. My grandma adopted two children from a awful situation and one of them is always on social media saying they wishes they could have met their parents. To me it's a blow to my grandma, but I can't imagine how the children feel to never have any information about who they are. Parents who do egg or sperm donation are filling their own selfish want to have a baby, they're not thinking about the burden on the child. I watched a documentary about women in their 40s and a gay couple ordering Danish sperm online. At first I was happy for the couples who were successful then I looked up donor babies etc. The kids all have psychological problems because they don't know who they are. If the children turned out fine I'd be all for it.

@nadezhdanadya45 9 жыл бұрын

Blair Waldorf Well, I think you are the mother and more important than the egg donor. Biologically - you come first, then the egg donor, then your husband.

@ettinakitten5047 8 жыл бұрын

+milly b The vast majority do turn out fine. And because they turn out fine, many of them don't feel any need to go online and talk about being donor babies. The ones who have a problem with it tend to be the ones who decide to speak out. If you look at research studies looking at donor children, they show that the ones who have big problems are a small minority of the kids, and the vast majority are just fine with it. But we tend to only hear from that small minority.

@lilli9822 8 жыл бұрын

+Blair Waldorf I understand you. I couldn't have kids and I can't imagine to carry a baby that is created by my husband's sperm and another woman egg. No way. May husband agrees with me. And then what?you are going to have another woman's kids that they will always remind you about your infertility. When kids grown up they will want to know about their roots and most of them have identity crisis. Nobody deserve to born in that way.