Your Body Is a Joke

[@yamilad.555]

“I don’t know who he disrespected more me or Olivia”😂😂😂

[@JW-vd4il]

I still want to know why this old man might have thought his wife... would be topless at the side of the road! "Oh, honest mistake." Olivia and her husband (the old man) must be pretty wild. 😂😂😂

[@ludmillagutomo]

"not chocolatey brown, not fudge brown, as brown as brown as the dirt in the graveyard that awaits you!" 😂😂😂

[@rasmusn.e.m1064]

Damn, that Patton Oswalt bit is almost poetic. I'm in my twenties, and I'm already starting to see the magic fade from the small things in life.

[@elenalouis311]

You’re so right it hurts

[@Headpimples]

Lol I eat Ezekiel cereal! Lol I need that iron! But it’s good! But hurts my sensitive teeth lol! Gotta let it soak!

[@callefalk4457]

WTF???

[@randywatson1982]

I’m 39, I started eating Wheaties and bran flakes about 10 years ago. I love them. Sometimes I mix them with a sugar cereal like a cereal killer…

[@PerfectlyImperfct]

What til u get in ur thirties and beyond lol

[@viceshark]

I keep Whole Foods bags in my car so my neighbors don’t see me carrying in mcdonalds everyday.

[@beebsxoxo]

Me TOO 😎😎😎👍

[@ameliaa2302]

🤣🤣💀🤣🤣

[@alisiabarbour7374]

😂😂😂

[@missme8674]

I just don’t care anymore ❗️

[@notevenlistening6072]

Never thought of that!

[@scee8260]

Oh my god, Patton Oswald. I just bought my first serious cereal last week. Up until this point the only cereal I have consumed is rainbow. I told my mom I bought "adult cereal" she didn't believe me. I had to text her a picture

[@PerfectlyImperfct]

"omg my baby's all grown up!" 🤣🤣

[@JargonMadjin]

"You inspired me" "Oh, I didn't mean to" This obliterated me

[@opinionatedlookinboy5555]

The Australian lady at the end was hilarious. And she was oh-so correct!! That bunghole hair will both surprise and gross the hell out of you. Lmao 🤣

[@AirWindFire]

Tears in my eyes! “Why is it so dark!?”!

[@adambeckers4423]

Her name's Urzila Carlson. Her accent is mostly South African with a bit of New Zealand thrown in there.

[@Selinxxxxxxx]

Help sugar bat get back to his insulin STOOPPPP 😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭

[@allmyedgesaresharp]

Ikr....I almost chocked on my grape nuts😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Germatti13489]

I remember when I first realized that I was "old". I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time and had only met through my job, so I didn't really know him. But for some reason he gave me a hug then said to me, "You aren't as old as I thought you were". 👵

[@nieblamulticolor]

ruuude

[@Germatti13489]

@@nieblamulticolor very true. ❤️👵

[@Dakarai_Knight]

Yooooo why they gotta do you like that

[@EuroGuy85]

If you were born in 89, you’re not old yet. Wait until 2029, then you’ll be old.

[@abbyiswatching2046]

Patton Oswalt's bit reminded me of the Saturday Night Live classic bit where Phil Hartman does a commercial for a cereal called "Colon Blow!"

[@avidnongetit8710]

I still LMAO about colon blow! Haven't seen it in decades. It's just Great

[@nada__]

Damn Netflix u didn’t have to come @ me like that. Like I’m trying my best ok ?

[@beebsxoxo]

LMAO 🤣😆😆 Too FUNNY 😆🤣😆🤣

[@PerfectlyImperfct]

"Cry more and eat less" 😂😂😂 i love tom segura. Hes such a delightful asshole lmao

[@buschg7106]

"Olivia?"🤣🤣

[@blugreen123]

This should have included John Mulaney's bit about talking through burps and being damp all the time. 😂

[@AmatielleSilva]

Why are high fiber cereals always sh!t brown? It's like...they wanna make you feel like it REALLY really works....😂 like 'See? Solid in, solid out, smooth move, have a second bowl for the bowl!"

[@lydianayo8041]

I've heard that opening joke about Olivia a bunch of times, and I still laugh out loud. Every time.

[@JW-vd4il]

Today is the first time I heard this. I put this compilation on, for a morning mood-lifter, getting ready to go out. Then I had to stop it because I was laughing so hard I was literally crying. I'm trying to get ready to leave the house looking normal! So I was thinking about it all day. Probably looked like a psycho sometimes, trying to suppress giggling about it. I just got home and watched again, ready to laugh and let the laughter-tears loose. But surely it won't hit me as hard this time, right? -- nope, WORSE: I think a muscle in my side just BROKE forever, laughing so hard. 😂😂😂

[@Poppins242]

Cry more, eat less 😂 Tom segura is a legend

[@nexusSix_237]

Totally is ❤

[@noelpiriz9977]

17:15 😂 sounds like the plan I would make when I get paranoid

[@Slicer1475]

I became overweight to the point where I told my doctor that i was tired of using 3 full body mirrors to pee in the morning. So i went from 240 to 175 in a year after getting off of meds that made me go from 154 to 215 in 4 months. I peeked at 240 around 6 months later. When asked if there were any changes, i told the receptionist yes that i had DickeyDoo Syndrome. That's where your stomach sticks out further than your dickey doo. She almost wrote that in my charts haha. But I'm sticking around the 175 mark as of now.

[@mipoorboy1478]

Great job! That stuff isn’t easy!! I lost 45lbs in a year and it had to do with dropping meds too. I didn’t even know how bad I felt. My health was crap and I thought I felt better than I did. But there is no denying that weight loss in a healthy way truly does make life easier and better.

[@9keykey]

Dickey Doo Syndrome is relative with the Booty Doo Syndrome. Stomach sticks out more than your booty do.🤣

[@TaxidriverBarbi]

It's been a year since you posted, are you still doing good? Hope so! As a woman, we get boody-doo. Gut sticks out further than my boody do.

[@Slicer1475]

@@TaxidriverBarbi still on the right track. Thank you! Hopefully everything is going good for you as well.

[@TaxidriverBarbi]

@@Slicer1475, I've yo-yoed 100 lbs up and down for years. I've stayed at the higher end for a long time now. HOWEVER, I just went through some big life changes and plan to use this as a new life. Ironically, around New Years, so fingers crossed. Brush some of your self control my way 😏

[@seekingeudaimonia6884]

I just realized, watching a comedian nowadays live, is basically paying to read someone’s top tweets, just with enthusiasm and an ability to convey sarcasm appropriately.

[@seekingeudaimonia6884]

@CrazyNights14 there are better ones out there, but I mean the vast majority of newer comics, this is their style. Which I can’t blame them. I have used Facebook since I was 14 or 15. I’m 28, I don’t use it anymore myself but I still think in terms of statuses instead of connection with my fellow man.

[@EuroGuy85]

If you go to Lewis Black’s shows he literally reads off of his tablet

[@Johnywang1]

hey man if its that easy for you . u should be a comedian 100%. these people (even the ones u prolly think are bad) work on writing and performing their material for 2-5 years.

[@oofshapedhuman4974]

Oh you mean this is like using Twitter without half the bullshit? Sweet

[@brycealthoff8092]

Some comedians yeah. But all my favorite comedians are story tellers. That kind of thing doesn’t fit in 240 characters or whatever Twitter is.

[@Sylverminx]

Lol Patton is hilarious.

[@scholargrrl]

Tiffany Haddish is goals!!!

[@nyrsheaw.arcticcircleart4026]

After you get back from disposing of the phone in every toilet, you find out that there is thing called the cloud and your video is still out there!🤣

[@wesleysmith2934]

I think the old man trolled the first comedian

[@tylerhackner9731]

Bet this’ll be relatable to me eventually lol

[@sammymcmumma]

It comes to us all......I'm there, I wish it wasn't relatable!

[@natalyamartirosyan]

It’s like a 100% bet. But you don’t win.

[@thisisntsergio1352]

@@natalyamartirosyan 💯

[@sweetpea775]

She said soo I sat down n started watching it like it was a movie 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 💀

[@danieljob3184]

That last bit was hilarious, especially when you realise most modern smartphones save straight to the Cloud!

[@biancaperry34]

Unless you’re cloud is always full because you refuse to pay for more storage

[@JargonMadjin]

Cloud is both a blessing and a curse

[@typacsk]

I learned that from Josh Wolf!

[@Bailemos888]

There should be a word find as after 50 our memory start dwindling.

[@AmatielleSilva]

From Frosted flakes to Wheat germ. Smh it is very sad😢

[@TheUnatuber]

More Romano Required. (A pinch more Maron, as well.)

[@johnpossum556]

20+ surgeries here. Yeah, my body is a joke.

[@avidnongetit8710]

Cancer 3x I joke with my family about how I look great above the shirt...but Frankenstein without it... Thank you God for giving me perspective and a sense of humor

[@marvandthe4topz]

I started eating eating adult cereal when I was at my sisters and instead of going for all the sugar ones she had for the kids I ate the one my BIL had that was a mix of shredded wheat oatmeal squares and bran, no raisins. I actually enjoyed it.

[@handsanitizer5127]

Those are really good tho

[@MissMoni83]

@@handsanitizer5127 Yup, we gotta get creative as we age.. Make it fun. Love your idea!

[@isaiahayers1550]

I know what BIL stands for now.

[@marvandthe4topz]

@@isaiahayers1550 haha nice

[@adamfitz1102]

My knees click when I bend them. So I'm there bud. 29. Not young. But not old

[@IamRa-18]

Have you injured your knees in the past 10 years? My brothers knees have clicked for as long as I can remember, he’s 30, but he’s had surgery to remove cartilage, yet it still clicks, but I don’t think he has much pain in them. You may have an inury!

[@butterflymorning1904]

29? Baby you're still at the good part!

[@TekkaSage]

Video should be titled: Middle aged men transitioning to being old.

[@AdamLacy228]

I understand your point, but there were some women in it as well.

[@branon6565]

There were more women in this vid than there were men, so your comment is null and void....

[@bulldogvillan]

Picture of Patton Oswalt "I was running the clock out on my wife"

[@adamplumpton4440]

I caught that too.lol

[@kmb655]

Romano said that.

[@JD-dh7bk]

Tiffany & Urzila lmfao

[@edithdlp8045]

6:05 I was born in 1975 and did get to use shoulder pads when I was only 12.

[@mwobobiasroundup]

I am 40...I relate to all this

[@irenesambe]

I love this...

[@feliciabet-hormoz8950]

Yes please

[@ellaeadig263]

"WHY AM I FUCKING YOU, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING ME" rofl

[@DK-xw5hp]

Damn I’m so early I get to find out if netflix looks at the comments.

[@newtempphone-ash9507]

silly, no one regulate the internet...

[@netflixisajoke]

👀

[@newtempphone-ash9507]

@@netflixisajoke wow weird!

[@newtempphone-ash9507]

@@netflixisajoke who are you?

[@Diesel257]

Maybe don't put "I was running the clock out on my wife" next to a comedian with a dead wife.

[@AdamLacy228]

I caught that as well. I don't think whomever created the compilation knew.

[@DILLIGAFFB]

Dude took the eight count during sex 🤣

[@PetfaxTV]

I heard that Aussie accent and almost closed the app cuz I thought it was a Hannah Gadsby New Zealand accent.

[@fyrewolf7805]

netflix=joke body=joke netflix=body?

[@easyrecipesanddeliciousfoo2954]

💖🌸🌷🌺

[@marjenkins1521]

OMG my mom dressed my prissy too! I hated it! I just wanted to be comfortable. Horrible shoulder pads and sleeves I'm the middle of short and long! I hated it. She thought I was gay because I just wanted to be comfortable. I'm bi actually 😆

[@Scribe13013]

My body strong like iron

[@kanedaku]

Please employ a professional who can process your audio goddammit.

[@nicholasrobinfant3295]

Born pregnant, cactus thing, C-section, amputation, wished I could have dreamt longer. Hit by truck, age 17, pig heart, ape lungs, boa gut, cow stomach's. Age 27, blew self, 4 ribs removed. I was made to fail since birth.

[@GilesHarveson]

Jebadia

[@ReaperBeastYouTube]

Once a Uber driver saw me, my mom said sister and thought I was my mom’s parent lol I’m not even 30 yet

[@AmatielleSilva]

😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣

[@hereforit9761]

Is that the kid from Bad Santa?

[@christopherstafford6442]

Tiffany handing can get it

[@77zrod46]

I didnt know Ralphy Mae had a comedian sister. Lol

[@shekriptic2851]

Cry more eat less 🤣

[@KibsAnimeshans]

so we all just skipping past the guy who played Manny from ice age is a comedian?

[@AirWindFire]

We knew. Most people would credit Ray Romano with Everybody Loves Raymond though.

[@JargonMadjin]

@@AirWindFire Bro, I'm in my early 20s and I knew him from ELR first, still a good show

[@reesej1384]

I'm in the clip and I don't like it

[@goodguy...badrep.]

Time stamp?

[@jeremyblackwater439]

Where ya at?

[@RECTALBURRITO]

I think I'm a hypochondriac now.

[@FrancHoopsandBlox]

That was a funny joke stop trying to turn it

[@efisgpr]

12:24 🍑

[@SpatenMoon]

F

[@aliciahoverson]

✊🏼

[@novellalesli2018]

The tearful node neuroanatomically tow because look bodily replace towards a tacit cereal. cold, therapeutic cuticle

[@xoxoshaneandmexoxo]

What do these comments mean!! Are they algorithm feeders?????

[@johnbalk6091]

3:06 Holy shit, is Patton wearing fucking skinny jeans?? Oh dear God in heaven no, please no. Patton, buddy, stop. Just , please stop.

[@TheMan2030]

It doesnt even sound good ha

[@sweetpea775]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@coleisright1125]

That first bit was joe Biden to a T

[@fredgardner2870]

Joe Biden approved

[@nezaramovha3640]

Early

[@fredgardner2870]

Nothing funny about pat Oswald

[@fredgardner2870]

18 wasted minute's...

[@Semper_Iratus]

Sterilized corporate comedy.

[@DR-sv8ke]

Lol what a trendy thing to say

[@abbyiswatching2046]

'K dude, let's see what YOU'VE got...

[@blugreen123]

So don't watch?

[@korpakukac]

Can someone recommend a female comedian who is actually funny?

[@carlrogueofficial]

These comedians are not funny!

[@fredgardner2870]

Sucks

[@conanobrien1]

Who goes and pay a ticket to watch Urzila Carlson? Not funny at all.

[@DAKESIS17]

It was good until the Godzilla ending.

[@fredgardner2870]

Haddish.. does she speak English?

[@earlofcockgobblingshire3666]

Hearing people who've given up on being good looking is always depressing. Idk why i watched this