17 Minutes Of Comedians Talking About Marriage

[@P8860]

Chris Rock doesn't tell jokes. He preaches a sermon 💯

[@firstnamelastname1715]

Comedy comes from pain in someone's life. Those are funny jokes or stories that make us laugh

[@omoakinkayode9455]

Well, his sermon cracked ribs.

[@robertnegron9706]

Saw him live at the Comic Strip in the upper east side back in the 90’s. He just dropped in trying new stuff. I was on a date and what he said about dating was spot on. Funniest chit I heard. I think it was after new Jack city.

[@189hosp6]

@@robertnegron9706 Those were the days...

[@lioneljoseduterte4847]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nmmWY4SaltqUebM

[@MimiMoments]

My husband recently told me, “one of the things I am most proud of as a husband is that I’ve taught you think more strategically.” Idk why I was so shocked but also made me very happy. I’m very go with the flow and he has helped me think even further ahead. I didn’t know it was intentional on his part. He still doesn’t know where most things are but so far so good. So very good.

[@Kal-El207]

Helped my wife think things through more logically and strategically as well. Glad to know others do the same for their spouses. Best of my blessings to y’all.

[@branon6565]

Wow, your experience is the complete opposite of mine, and even though I've been divorced since the year 2000, I'm still pissed off and in utter disbelief that I was ever dumb enough to get married....I mean, I deployed twice to Iraq and once to Afghanistan after I enlisted because of 9/11, and I honestly think I would rather deploy a fourth time if I had to choose between deploying and getting married again....

[@Utriedit215]

Sounds like your husband is a manipulator I wonder what else he's been training you without your knowledge about I will be watching him very closely if I was you

[@Utriedit215]

@@branon6565 getting married while in-service is like a 80% chance your marriage is going to fail cuz 60% of them get with you just for benefits

[@SocomElite]

@@Utriedit215 I like your first comment, but military or not it's the same story. I'm sorry but marriage is just not worth it. Way too risky. And yes I'm divorced and have learned my lesson lol

[@219nab1]

DAVE CHAPPELL: You start out loving each other then 2 years later your building a case on one another for a hypothetical court date...so freaking true 👍 💯

[@jasmainjasmain2906]

And thank goodness I did 😂

[@floatinggoose9197]

He is a comedic genius. No physical comedy needed, he outgrew his funny vouce and doesn't need to do High "freakout" tone of voice to get points across. You know how some comedians delivery is so off point that they use loud voices or gestures to say "Hey, it's the punchline" Dave can make almost anything on the planet funny.

[@SeyvenRoses]

😂😂😂

[@nacarreira777]

He was spot on about marriage being a bad contract you should never sign.

[@jayak8217]

Literally Amber Heard and Johnny Depp lol

[@GiantGeekGuy]

It's kinda weird listening to Marty from Madagascar, Manny from Ice Age, and Barry from Bee Movie talking about marriage. 😂

[@jovanavuckovic9839]

Omg i was wondering why they sound so familiar!😂

[@michaelterrell5061]

I’m sorry he was MANNY from ice age? What the freak?

[@GiantGeekGuy]

@@michaelterrell5061 it is Ray Romano, yes 😂

[@michaelterrell5061]

@@GiantGeekGuy WOW

[@conordarcy4663]

Thats why I didn't find it funny

[@lillm5774]

"Laura, I don't even know if you know what an airport is..." 😂😂 Good one Nate Bargatze

[@wsjuno]

Oh so true 🤣

[@kondekinoe9337]

2:42 The dude wearing black was so happy to hear that joke. He was enjoying his life that day😂😂😂. It's nice to see that.

[@TB_Finance]

Ali wong is a different type of woman lol

[@jaydirt2006]

Ya a not funny 1

[@buzzybee186]

She seemed pretty hardcore about it. Sis was serious

[@loridrblake9770]

Love Ali Wong! Woot! She does have an angry delivery, but her jokes are tight! She's got a stage persona, she's not like that IRL. That's her thing. She's brilliant!

[@frankflynn9159]

I L

[@melissacharlene1]

Haha! She is 🤗

[@NewMaite]

Chris and Katt are right, once the intimacy goes, so does the marriage. Just roommates at that point.

[@SocomElite]

That's the problem bro, intimacy will always dwindle. It's inevitable. I stay single since my divorce on purpose & I actually lose intimacy for each new chick within the first couple weeks. Sorry just being honest

[@shannond7437]

Why you marry your best friend

[@shannond7437]

@@SocomElite That makes me sad for you not them

[@fredstriker2042]

@@shannond7437 why?

[@fredstriker2042]

@@SocomElite Finding true connection, and intimacy with today's ran through modern women is basically impossible. They have lost the ability to pair bond. Sure There's always a unicorn out there somewhere, but from a critical thinking Position no man should ever get married. The risks versus the rewards rewards are So ridiculously unfair and unbalanced

[@Haveyoueverbeenswallowed]

Whenever Chris rock talks, I visualize a scene from “Everybody hates Chris” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 he literally just did stand up comedy jokes as the main narrator on the show, what a fucking guy 🤣

[@rantallaboutit]

Same.

[@adams9586]

"Mom, Chris got hit by a car!" "I'll get the robitussin"

[@johnstewart4209]

As a married man, this hits home so much.

[@fredstriker2042]

Once the inevitable divorce comes don't ever do it again.. And you will be happier and healthier than you've ever been in your life

[@beefortebrea9386]

@@fredstriker2042 hey look a random guy for some reason wishing this man gets a divorce and never remarries

[@Batman-ro3mk]

@@fredstriker2042 whatever makes your single ass sleep at night man!

[@lordbasketboi9998]

@@beefortebrea9386 I mean it is a coin toss

[@yeetmcyeet3120]

@@beefortebrea9386 Incels lol

[@allans7281]

Chris rock is so hilarious just amazing material n delivery

[@destinytapia8759]

What's funny about what Chris Rock is saying, it's true. Saved my marriage. I saw something about having sex everyday brought someone else's marriage closer. So my husband and I made a point to have sex everyday. We set aside time when he gets off work. We dont even eat dinner first. He gets home, showers and we have sex then have dinner. We have been doing this for at least 6 years and we have kids. You have to put into your marriage because one day those kids are going to be gone. We only take breaks when I'm on my cycle or if we're sick. Sometimes even when we're sick we do it.

[@mgtow6683]

Marriage is like a Tornado: "In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house".

[@daxvictor7526]

i know it's kind of randomly asking but does anyone know of a good site to watch newly released tv shows online?

[@daxvictor7526]

@Jaziel Sage thank you, signed up and it seems like they got a lot of movies there =) Appreciate it!

[@jazielsage845]

@Dax Victor glad I could help =)

[@jpz7850]

Too funny

[@wheezesinsilence4486]

Bahahhahaha

[@livylu6287]

I guess that’s why I actually have a great marriage!! My husband and I actually do or don’t does all the stuff that they told us that we should or shouldn’t do. I’m pretty proud, LOL.

[@firstnamelastname1715]

Yup.hes cheating.lol A happy husband is a cheater.

[@kaylapena8516]

@@firstnamelastname1715 can you just let her be happy and not make her overthink just cause you’re insecure in your relationships

[@starmorpheus]

@@firstnamelastname1715 So you suggest keeping your husband unhappy? Lol dumbass

[@firstnamelastname1715]

@@kaylapena8516 I guess the stereotype that woman can't get a joke from a mile away is true.

[@tinockovietea2470]

Beavis: She just said they like to do it. Heh heh heh. Butthead: And they do ALL the stuff. Heh heh heh heh.

[@marspluto5463]

The last bit is too relatable

[@alikaandrade3435]

My gf does the exact same thing. Drives me nuts lol

[@marspluto5463]

@@alikaandrade3435my ex used to do the same. The conversation trying to explain to her how it was not okay always ends up in a fight

[@michikomanalang6733]

WHY are people like that!!! i got friends who answer yes or no questions with someone else's biography

[@briodundada]

Who is the last guy?

[@sorrystilltrying5062]

@@briodundada Nate Bargatze

[@gamby16a]

It's scary how accurate so much of this is. I'm 18 years in, BTW. Nate's resentment is palpable. Wow.

[@gamby16a]

@@MrMrvin27 I meant I've been married for 18 years. Way too late for me 😄

[@DTreatz]

'18 years in' yall married men dont even hear yall selves lmao, shit just sounds like a prison sentence. Condolences

[@Traderderaa]

​@@DTreatz 🤣🤣🤣

[@Traderderaa]

​@@gamby16a don't let them spook you

[@VonFels]

Imagine going to a couples therapist and getting this advice straight up. Might reduce the divorce rates mentioned in the one clip.

[@shawnlouis7716]

Wife: "I and my husband have been experiencing some financial issues and would like some advice on how to proceed forward to solving this problem together as a couple" Therapist: "you gats to fuck!" Couple: "thank you for the advice"

[@sebastiaosalgado1979]

"Dick for dishes" LOL He's the funniest!

[@mukisajoshua3596]

Katt Williams doesn't even need to talk to make u laugh his a whole level of funny😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@thatswhatshesaid6326]

Omg I crack up just watching him! He’s my favorite!

[@travisinthetrunk]

No... he’s a douchebag.

[@thatswhatshesaid6326]

@@travisinthetrunk cool comment 👏😏

[@elliotemmanuelnogo1632]

That's me😂😂

[@johnsalley8873]

@@travisinthetrunk punk bitch

[@tubytootoo]

I really like the last one. Nate bargatze. First time I’ve seen a bit by him that was funny.

[@torres7918]

lol, I can eat 😻 in a horrible mood, never a truer statement.

[@MattKittredge2112]

Seeing that quote in front of Jerry Seinfeld, as he’s making that face in the thumbnail, is just amazing 🤣

[@ebitoro4590]

They need to put John Mulaney's "Why marry the cow?" segment to make me feel a little positive about marriage 😭😭

[@rite2bcreative]

Except he got divorced I think

[@ebitoro4590]

@@rite2bcreative Well, shit.

[@korean6706]

Update:He bought a new cow, and impregnated that one.

[@308MiA]

​@@korean6706 just the weirdest fuckin plot twist none of us seen coming lmao

[@alexanderthegreat1270]

@@308MiA It’s very strange. The truth is, he’s an addict. He relapsed and fell into a backslide recovery relationship. I feel for the guy cause I reckon he wants to come out and say, “I got stuck in a bit of a shit situation” but if he does, his son is gonna grow up with that “problem” label for his entire life. Olivia Munn also strikes me as incredibly weird, she seemed to latch onto her title as an “It Girl” and I get the sense she lept at the opportunity to lock him in. However, at the end of the day, he cheated on his wife and made his own bed. So now, all of us fans have to reconsider our feelings about him while he and Olivia roleplay this weird “Loving parent” charade online cause neither one wants to be the one to come out and just talk facts. I reckon they’ll stay together until he’s a young kid and then eventually divorce

[@disturbedrebirth]

My wife is the worst with a GPS. She'll say "Go that way". I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm driving, which way is that way?

[@romaneros4583]

Mine does that and random gasps without explaining why. Car coming at us? A child chasing a ball? Someone changing lanes? She remembered she forgot to lock the door. I dont know but she thinks her gasp is gonna help the situation.

[@Samy-vh1xi]

I know this is kinda different but I’m 18 and learning to drive in the UK with my dad and he does the exact same thing! We’ll be approaching a roundabout and he’ll be like “you need to be in that lane” and I’m like “I’M 5 METRES FROM THE ROUNDABOUT WHICH LANE IS THAT LANE?!?!!!!??”

[@romaneros4583]

@@Samy-vh1xi I speak from experience. Your dad is nervous but trust him. You will be fine.

[@Samy-vh1xi]

@@romaneros4583 thank you :)

[@romaneros4583]

@@Samy-vh1xi did you get your driver's license?

[@VengeDracul]

Ali Wong is too damn funny. She kills me every single time. She is the funniest woman on this planet.

[@maykol33]

She is funny but that line/joke wasn't. So cheating on your husband by licking another man's butthole is funny? Also, the 25 year old she described doesn't really exist. No 25 year old man says yes to everything a woman says without expecting something in return. So I sensed she might be being used.

[@notthefather3919]

No she isn't.

[@mai_komagata]

@@maykol33 You realize that man isn't a real dude? she is positing the equivalent of a hot nanny -- someone that for their *job* is helping out around the house thus says yes. The joke isn't that she was cheating on anyone. But that parents are so exhausted they would do anything for help.

[@maykol33]

@@mai_komagata I know it doesn't exist. Her crudeness is not funny in this case.

[@ryanpulliam8987]

@@maykol33 are you seriously butthurt at a fucking joke? Grow a pair of balls and learn to have fun.

[@navtektv]

32 single and INDIAN, big qualifier there, but I get a lot of married adults, young and old, asking me when the fuck am I going to get married and I have the perfect answer to them. "Apna dukh mujhe mat baato." "Don't try to make me share in your grief. " I tell them very frankly that when they see a person single at the age when they got married they see a person who hasn't made the big mistake that they made and they can't stand to see people content when not making their mistakes. Happy marriages, especially happy Indian marriages are rare, they probably do exist, but I've yet to see one single example in my vicinity. The examples I've seen are abusive, controlling, filled with obligations because of children and society expectations, arguments and drama and very little to no actual love.

[@Ash-jh3gh]

So true. Stay single, independent, relaxed and happy

[@carolnyamu]

Don't feel pressured at all 😅. It's not that serious

[@42az59]

Cityboys 🏙️ we up 🙏🏾🤞🏽

[@baddad1981]

update,, his second marriage didn't last.

[@krislatoya7556]

😶

[@nadiajohnson4923]

@Kyle Billie for lesbians it is

[@lioneljoseduterte4847]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nmmWY4SaltqUebM

[@lioneljoseduterte4847]

hahahahahaha

[@Enr227]

Chris Rock is brilliant

[@firstnamelastname1715]

Brilliant? How is he Brilliant? Do you know the definition and meaning of the word Brilliant??

[@theempire00]

@@firstnamelastname1715 I bet you’re a teenager 😂

[@expandwhatyousee]

@@firstnamelastname1715, exceptionally clever or talented is the definition. I think he is both. It doesn't have some mystical meaning.

[@barbecuesauceeyebrows8254]

That last guy was really funny

[@Fredexide]

Noon 😂😂😂😂

[@nicolebrown-dominguez4605]

You notice most of the male comedians address the marriage issues with sex, and the women ask them to simply be an adult?

[@branon6565]

Apparently you haven't heard that the rumor is true, we do indeed think with our penis, it always knows what's best, when are women going to learn this? 😅

[@Thinkpositivebepositive1]

Because mens don’t want sex, they need it! When you know the difference your marriage its gonna be happy! 😉

[@Revolution-tl5wo]

@@branon6565 It's not our job to make up for your failings.

[@LeviathanLee]

I'm guessing that's a joke. Because about half of this was about odd habits. Aka the stuff you claim is grown up. The last guy said NOTHING about sex. He did point out the immature thought process of his wife. The inability to apply logic. Which btw most adults and especially men consider to be quite childish. 😆

[@TheAcademik]

@@Revolution-tl5wo tbf I don't think desiring sex and intimacy in a relationship where that's a standard expectation is any more of a failing than wanting equal work put in on your property.

[@giftedlift3354]

Nate is simply hilarious. 😂

[@PrimeSuperboy]

His bit was so on point. I LOVED IT.

[@4darchitecturestudio89]

Chris Rock had the best joke. Kat Williams' voice is a joke it'self .

[@srami004]

"Just got married again." -Tracy Morgan He is getting divorced again. Sounds like this needs to updated...Lol Damn

[@seanm7539]

Did He really damn

[@Lusciousmook9091]

That last guy was hilarious 😂

[@thandolukhele9075]

I'm Looking For His Name, What's His Name? Lol

[@kadeefowler7729]

@@thandolukhele9075 nate bargatze

[@nonovyobiznez3735]

The last guy wasn't even telling a joke. He usually sit in my living room writing his bits.

[@neobahamut6751]

Ali Wong is the only woman who can make every guy blush!

[@tinockovietea2470]

Jack Nicholson in The Shining was so beautifully selected for imagery.

[@Towoawawabo8]

🤝🏿

[@timkingsemail]

If by 'blush', you mean 'vomit', well yes. True.

[@apoorvsingh3395]

Katt Williams rock the entire stage and Tracy Morgan is just perfect

[@mariekastler5391]

Chris Rock speaks TRUTH! Oxytocin is My drug of choice!

[@jennifercrull7747]

THANK YOU Chris!!! 100%

[@BABA-hw9ro]

Chappelle looks like a bodybuilder

[@misterb1132]

He has put on some serious muscle, for sure. He's relaxed and eating well too, apparently.

[@soulassassin0g]

How does Chris Rock look younger now than when he did in the 90's?

[@serikidavid]

Money

[@untitled6391]

He doesn't

[@Afrimusican]

His comedy is Just For Men

[@urosrocenovic1349]

Complete absence of giving a fuck 🤣

[@kittylemeu]

He looks better than he's ever looked.

[@sookiebear9215]

Chris rock is so funny! Omg I laughed so hard ♥️ Also love kat Williams and Ali Wong 🥰

[@kishona3915]

Chris Rock on point!

[@seanholmes6791]

We didn't talk in Florida, that killed me 😂😂😂😂

[@noemiecansier8466]

You know what if your getting married young, have an officiant of you desired faith or lack thereof walk you through some vows yada yada, DON’T walk into a city hall until you’re both financially literate, independent and have spoken to at least one lawyer. Take Your time, think of it as a trial run, like hand fasting.

[@fredstriker2042]

Wrong, The formula you are using is crashing marriage rates. There is no point in even going over it anymore, feminism destroyed marriage, Women expect men to be traditional, yet modern women refuse being traditional for men. Women have no idea what men want from a relationship or marriage. At the end of the day the risks for men far outweigh any reward, if there even is one from a state issued marriage license

[@noemiecansier8466]

I have no personal interest in what men want from marriage being that I am a lesbian. But I’m a bit confused, if the formula of both parties (let’s assume a heterosexual pair) being financially independent is what is ruining marriage for men. Than what is this higher risk for men you speak of? Do men want women who aren’t breadwinners, but at the same time won’t demand alimony in the event of a divorce? You can’t have your cake and eat it.

[@fredstriker2042]

@@noemiecansier8466 I tried to Respond with a polite comment but our KZbin overlords keep deleting

[@fredstriker2042]

@@noemiecansier8466 Going to try again, and change the wording. I can't speak for marriage in the L Community but I will say they have the highest rate of domesticviolence . We will know more about divorce rates in a few more years when the data is collected. That said in the straight community It is literally a sucker's bet on a cost benefit analysis for men. Most fail, or end up nearly insufferable. Men pay near 100% of all court awarded alimony, and lose custody regularly in the same "courts". There was a time when marriage made sense, and I believe for children it is by far the best option. But it has become literally too big a risk and nothing to be gained for men. Regarding traditionalism. Women routinely have a long laundry list of what they expect in their men, in fact the demands being almost delusional. That said to shorten the list down, they want their men to be traditional Providers and protectors. In fact they want them to make more money than they do even they do and will rarely date under. As for men, the overwhelming majority would prefer their women more in a traditional role yet when this is discussed they are deemed every form of shaming language and literally ridiculed for doing what women have done themselves

[@victornyamu2547]

No be

[@dezzylele23]

I am a woman in my late 30's and I have to say that Chris Rock is ABSOLUTELY correct in the importance of sex. Lots of sex. To the people who think they should wait until marriage: do you want to find out when it's to late that the sex is bad?? EVERYTHING else you can work on- moods, education, credit, communication, even tummy tucks and nose jobs. Everything else you can fix. But if the sex between you isn't good. If it doesn't make you FLY, everything else between you guys will slowly crumble. So find your best lay, and marry that person, and have sex all the time. Instead of a kiss goodbye in the morning and welcome home after work- bone. Make it your way of saying goodnight and good morning. Do this and everything else will work itself out and you will also smile more than all your friends too. I promise, it works!

[@Wise-Lady-La-Aura]

You better have something else going on between the two of you, though. You better like each other. What happens when you're not in bed? That's just as important. I promise you need more than just a cock in the pussy. If not, then it will not last at all.

[@otisthegrouch9299]

I needed this......I come from work every morning and it's feels like I've been on autopilot for a whole year now. Don't wanna say I'm sick of seeing someone but DAMN!

[@NothingYouHaventReadBefore]

So how you doing now?

[@samuelorozco3439]

17 minutes of comedians talking about marriage and some random footage of jerry seinfeld

[@markfoster1520]

......talking about his "Tour of Duty".....I think he was playing some Mod, though.

[@ekanglawrence6794]

That last joke was hilarious🤣

[@deesplayworldtv]

:47 a little gas shot out at the Gucci bag joke lol

[@paulhennessey3454]

Agreed. Why do I have to constantly ask where things are in my own house! 🤣

[@klarityjoe7413]

...cos she moved them

[@SwuadeTV]

@@klarityjoe7413 the real reason

[@Jay-sk5hj]

@@klarityjoe7413first thing i thought of when she said that

[@MorskotoOko]

For the last comedian case: Please always say what you mean. That goes both ways. You don’t ask - What time do you leave. You ask - what time do you fly? Her response therefore will and must be the exact time. That's the best way to communicate. Use simple words. Don't expect the other to know what you mean. Don't expect the other to speak your way. Talk to each other in a simple understandable way. It's so easy.

[@Saasan]

I get that comedy isn't usually someone bragging about how well things are going for them, but yikes. I promise y'all marriage doesn't have to be a shit show.

[@branon6565]

It does HAVE to be, but inevitably, marriage is the most expensive hell one can impose upon oneself.....it's horrific....

[@akm1967]

Still think I'll give that a miss. Look at the stats. And the ones that are still married, 60% of those are just stuck!

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

It’s not ...if you keep...

[@SeyvenRoses]

Very true

[@tinockovietea2470]

We all hate/ get fkn annoyed by the people we love. Human condition. Doesn't mean we'd chose life without "em.

[@Artfulscience1]

“Wiffleball” 🤣🤣👏🏻

[@tiffanystrand4423]

And truth in comedy 🎭 lives on!!

[@lynngriesemer4940]

Sometimes comedians poke fun at marriage and are vulgar and crude about it. I like the comedians who are realistic and point out the positive side of marriage. Dry Bar comics are a little more positive.

[@finaltouchpro648]

Dry Bar is lit!

[@fredstriker2042]

Sadly it's almost impossible to not be vulgar and crude because most of the jokes that come from marriage regard sex and the lack thereof.

[@Aint_no_senators_son]

Positive? The best part of marriage is a divorce. I'm positive about that.

[@fredstriker2042]

@@Aint_no_senators_son truth. There is not one benefit for a man in a marriage and the list of risks is endless

[@ThangVu-kw6zd]

Nate's end this clip in a high note. Damn my guy is hilarious.

[@its-MK...]

Seinfeld's joke about paintball vs live rounds works even better in a kids vs no kids scenario. Have you ever had a newborn and your friend is acting like dissecting a text from a guy she likes that says "what's up" is the most important thing in the world? It's hard to care anymore, Emily. I'm trying to keep a person alive on zero hours sleep. I dunno, may the Gods be ever in your favor, I guess.

[@its-MK...]

Please don't get angry at me, I'm joking. Legitimate problems are valid regardless of your kid-status (but this joke was absolutely taken from real world experiences.)

[@loridrblake9770]

Imagine the wedding scene in The Princess Bride, and the officiator "Mawwage..." Ugh I liked my marriage. Sometimes. I Love my kid, all the time. I'm a better parent without having to wrestle about parenting ideology over every decision or act. He's a person not a dog, a sofa, a car, or a house, a law degree, or a business. It's a shame that kids and marriages get mixed up together. It would be nice if it worked the ideal way: find the right, forever, one, build a life that'll take you through retirement and includes kids, and everything they come with and any hardships that can be overcome together. It's not kids fault, it's the fault of the relationship the marriage is based on, whatever it's irrational, invisible, or obvious issues. I didn't want to get married, but I wanted children. Then I found a good "donor" and we got married and for the sake of being all-in, I committed myself to an unjustifiable degree considering he did not do the same. And after 6 boring years of working and spending money we decided to reproduce (it was more romantic than I make it sound but it's still personal and I'm making a point) the hole fell out of the world for me when my kid was born and I was lost to a long term mental disorder - I was mentally out-of-order and he, the donor, couldn't cope. That whole "in sickness and unto death" thing? Yeah, I bought into it, he didn't sign, but, thank goodness for no-fault divorce, right? That's only been around about 55 years. (In the US) What do you think people did before that? Or if you're Catholic? I'm glad I'm free. I'd rather be in a "marriage" plutonically with a woman who's my best friend that I can Trust with my car, my cat, or my kidneys then married again to a man. I Love men. Have Loved men. Wish them well. Want more men friends. Just done with sex. Too much drama and misspent energy. (@ least with a partner, but even then, not so much). If you find your androgynous equalibrium, you'll probably be ok on your own with friends that can go home at the end of the day. So, marriage is pretty horrible the way I thought it was supposed to be, too many uncertainties for a lifelong commitment, you're supposed to agree not to give up on it, no matter how hard it sucks. But, we've got the divorce ticket - I'm not happy, ok bye. THAT'S WHY I WASN'T GOING TO DO IT. Guh, stupid hormones and idiosyncratic ideals! It's been almost 20 years since the mental disruption in my life and livelihood. Still divorced. He remarried before the ink dried on the certificate. She can have him. But, I chose a pretty good Donor, even if he couldn't commit. And I've got a great kid. I was the Mother he needed as much as I could be and we're still close. I vowed - just let me be the Mother he needs, not my needs, and the rest of my Life belongs to you, God. Amen. Marriage: if you're not in it for the Long haul to the grave, just milk that cow (or bull, make that analogy work any way you see fit). We screwed it all up, anyway

[@timo891ify]

I understand

[@kimberlyharshfield8629]

😐 bummer.... (i think... ?)

[@jamesmaddison4493]

Hello pretty How are you doing?

[@BG-sq7zf]

What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way. *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous Isaiah 3:12 *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road. Proverbs 31:3 Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook: "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

[@faegrrrl]

"Kittens Without Whiskers" 🤣😂

[@ekdaufin1485]

The Shining joke had me choking laughing.

[@manasvisharma4990]

Okay Christina P is SO FRICKING GORGEOUS. Like ooh mama! 👀

[@MakotheMaineCoon]

People need to think. Stop giving into feelings.

[@michaelblue6150]

Thinking is hard work, that's why most don't do it

[@linzymahoney4941]

I choked on water when Ali Wong started doing the faces

[@B1GK1NG]

Out of all the female comedians. She was the only one that made me laugh with her seductive look faces 😂

[@petej7002]

“ when we got married we were so poor we lived in a studio apartment” i know that wasnt a joke but still 🥴

[@davidross8233]

I loved being married even though my ex wife despised me. I don’t know if I’ll ever know why I was happy under those circumstances.

[@conorm2524]

You should do some soul searching about that. Could be some co-dependency issues. I spent about 4 years digging into myself on why I did what I did in my younger years. It helped me immensely.

[@aztekempire]

that 🐱must feel real good, I can bet that

[@Wise-Lady-La-Aura]

Hahaha! - Because almost every mouthy mean person wants you to say you were happy! People want married people to say they were happy or they fight with you. It's bizzare!!

[@fredstriker2042]

Sounds like you could actually use some therapy. That is not healthy and extremely toxic

[@rickjames4031]

Dave Chappell got that building a case line from Patrice O’Neil

[@rea_keebine]

Chris is downright hilarious

[@tea2125]

The last guy just picked a stupid person to marry, and now he's surprised she behaves stupid. I know what he's talking about, it's super anoying when you have to explain everything.

[@ebbyc1817]

'takes stupid to pick stupid tho 😀😊

[@ceesno9955]

@@ebbyc1817 it takes a "certain type of " stupid..to be with stupid.

[@ebbyc1817]

@@ceesno9955 😀

[@zoewhite2958]

What’s his name I think he’s funny

[@princessonuoha79]

@@zoewhite2958 According to the description and the left corner of the video clip when he starts - Nate Bargatze, and the video name is Tennessee Kid.

[@broaddusmarines]

I could watch three hours of this.

[@latifajenkins6547]

I want you to talk like regular people lol

[@WowUsernameAvailable]

Jen's point about farting is so true: it's not intimacy, it's disrespect.

[@misterb1132]

Why hold it in for two hours like on your first few dates?

[@karriefowler2321]

I absolutely adore Dave Chappelle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@matrix_1749]

Tracy Morgan is the inventor of sit-down comedy lol.

[@angelworley6442]

100!!! These Brother's on point!🔥

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

Great compilation!

[@jamesmaddison4493]

Hello pretty How are you doing?

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

@@jamesmaddison4493 I see that you 🤖 write this to multiple women. You might want to rethink that. Mr. Robot.

[@ToyaWilliams]

These were hilarious!!!

[@Mio248]

That last one had me dying.

[@jasonyoung8734]

That last dude killed!

[@honkingantalope]

That Christina P joke is right off a cold opening from king of Queens. It's about doug trying to find scissors and Carrie gets mad at him. Then she makes him look for them on his own and he finds them. Then right afterwards he asks where the tape is and she walks out of the room.

[@timothystitzel5444]

Or, it actually happened. Happens quite frequently in my marriage. I guess we are copying King of Queens?

[@nicelikejesus]

That Ray Romano stand up is hilarious.

[@robins.9700]

Woo Chris is getting too real...i gotta have my husband watch this 🤣

[@dude371121]

Birbiglia is out there sounding like Louie

[@Gmp23]

Ok but the last one is so relatable !!

[@colesteeleA]

People forget Seinfeld was dating a 17 year old girl, when he was 40.

[@KPThomas82]

The "issues" he's talking about is she couldn't spend the night with him because she had homework

[@StoneyLover93]

Eww wtf that’s sick

[@P8860]

Well his idol is Woody Allen so I'm not surprised

[@haremking7256]

So what,would it HV made a difference if she was 18

[@P8860]

@@haremking7256 For regular civilians, yes. For celebrities, it depends on who you know.

[@kellymorrell3508]

Kris Rock and last guy were the best for sure!! Funny stuff

[@qudavid1128]

@3:10, I hope he doesn't eat 'it' that way 😄

[@luckylib]

I needed this.

[@EnoughAndToSpare]

Nate is so freaking funny 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ekdaufin1485]

Lots of laughs. Thank you.

[@PANCHOVILLAMATO]

Funny to hear men who have failed miserably in THEIR MARRIAGES try to tell the rest of us marriage is no good. I think I see the problem.

[@alabidavid4674]

@@tayolenson2268 15 year old, huh? Get some perspective about life from these men. The stats don't look good. I think the lesson is to protect yourself in any relationship. A girl's gonna try to break your heart, and you might be caught off guard if you ignore some of these signs .

[@JCJW101]

@@tayolenson2268 Your mindset is absolutely ripe for getting screwed over in relationships. If you don't learn from other people's mistakes your destined to make them yourself.

[@BG-sq7zf]

What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way. *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous Isaiah 3:12 *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road. Proverbs 31:3 Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook: "My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

[@ReasonAboveEverything]

Yeah. Most of them fail and so will propably you.

[@misterb1132]

Why is it the "men" who have failed miserably?

[@michaelblue6150]

Comedians speak the truth

[@MiloFan77]

8:05 I figured this one out. Men ask where things are cos women move things all the time. A man will put something away and a women will come along and go "that should not go there" and move it. The man will come later to the place he put it and when he realizes it is not there he will ask.

[@aspoon0926]

Just try putting it in the right place and she won’t have to move it.😀😀. Just kidding. I’m a married woman for 29 years and if I suddenly woke up as a man, I would NEVER marry-EVER!!! I don’t understand how you guys put up with us.

[@banu0245]

Do you ask why she moved it? Do you offer other places, that is better in your opinion? If not, then how woman should know, if you intentially put it where it was or just left it and forgot?

[@turnerburner922]

Hahaha you are exactly right!

[@turnerburner922]

My wife just moves it without telling me, I’m always surprised.lol

[@eeccee11]

The popcorn 😂 so true

[@tas22222]

Adore Chris !! Mike

[@jamesmaddison4493]

Hello pretty How are you doing?

[@modelingsuccesssuccessfull2607]

The last joke! Lmao 🤣

[@supersaiyan8437]

That pregnant lady crazy 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@VenusmarieLeto]

That whole show and her other one too are unlike anything else!!!!

[@supersaiyan8437]

@@VenusmarieLeto what’s it called

[@PhilomathWizard]

After seeing comedians talking about marriage I've come to the conclusion that 1- People get married without getting to know the person they're dating. 2- Sex becomes water in a desert 3- You forget how to have fun.

[@misterb1132]

That's pretty accurate. 55 and divorced twice. Have never been happier. Just me, my daughter, and my dog.

[@ViswajitChauhan]

Seriously!!! They made a marriage compilation and didn't put bill burr in it😔.

[@thestuffoflegenddanielloer7883]

Seinfeld & Romano have comedic quality that doesnt require shock value or excessive vulgarity to get laughs. They are legends.