First Dates From HELL

[@codyko2]

Worked my ass off on this song and music video would mean a lot if you watched it - kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaKyn617nriXepI

[@Honeybuns89544]

W Song

[@username11346]

Jesus loves you

[@HannahIrene719]

We gotta normalize just getting up and walking away when dates are insane. Like just a "Alright. I'm at my bullshit limit so I'm just going to go home. Have a good one."

[@GingerOMG]

Unfortunately, when dates are insane it's best to leave smoothly, in case the person is down right mental.

[@pineappleparty1624]

@@GingerOMG Take her advice, she's a redhead after all.

[@aryastark575]

Yeah, that's a good way to get your face sl.iced. "Let's normalize" NOT getting your face sl.iced.

[@potterheade]

Cite the Lemon Law and just dip

[@jsmith3798]

Definitely. I mean, decorum and etiquette is all well and good, but with the absolute absurdity sometimes, it is simply not owed.

[@haleyrowe5770]

damn i just sat down with my 100 tacos for lunch this is perfect timing

[@ImJustNolan]

LETS FEAST

[@icu3869]

L E T ‘S F E A S T !!! 🎉🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🎉

[@31r1n]

LET’S FEAST‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[@shiannafoxx]

LET'S FEAST 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

[@2sleepy2silly]

🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

[@conrad561]

Went on a hinge date with this girl that spoke in one continuous sentence for the entire time. All without asking me a single question. Occasionally she'd pause just long enough for me to sneak in a "nice" or "thats crazy" only to ignore me and keep droning on. I ended up zoning out 15 minutes in and stared out the window at a stray cat eating garbage for like 30 minutes. The experience was almost meditative. Eventually I zoned back in and realized she was still talking. So I said I had to go home and she chugged her beer that she had barely touched and we split the bill.

[@caseyw.6550]

I have known a person like this. Just talked and talked and didn't seem to even care at all if anyone was listening. It's a wild experience.

[@blue.berry.]

I was hoping it would end with you adopting the stray cat!

[@conrad561]

@@blue.berry.dang guess i should go back there and find it haha

[@blue.berry.]

@@conrad561 Definitely, bro was a better company and entertainment than your date

[@The_Winsome_Pixie]

Hearing that makes me wonder if she was maybe on the spectrum. My daughter had a similar experience on a date with an autistic guy. He just talked endlessly about his special interests and asked her nothing about herself. It’s wasn’t really his fault when you think about it.

[@erinf1915]

55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACOS, 55 PIES, 55 COKES, 100 TATER TOTS, 100 PIZZAS, 100 TENDERS, 100 MEATBALLS, 100 COFFEES, 55 WINGS, 55 SHAKES, 55 PANCAKES, 55 PASTAS, 55 PEPPERS AND 155 TATERS

[@Blake-jw7ls]

55th street

[@aramrodriguez9141]

5 whoppers, and 5… more whoppers

[@aliciabergman1252]

was about to write this...happy someonelse did the work😅

[@iansesh]

I love that sketch

[@Thehealthycreative_]

WAAAAIT, WAIIIIT, IM DOING SOMETHING!!!

[@haydensiler1507]

perfect way to start the day, thank you kelsey's husband!

[@shotgunmaxxer]

starting the day watching youtube how productive! Why not do something that actually benefits you?

[@Jslianyyy]

💀​@@shotgunmaxxer

[@WinterRabbit24]

​@@shotgunmaxxerlol aren't we all watching it this morning?😂

[@simpspie]

@@shotgunmaxxeryou’re literally on KZbin. Also, a lot of people watch KZbin while doing things like eating breakfast ect. It’s normal.

[@luv.patrol]

​@@shotgunmaxxer Who are you, the leisure police?? Maybe you should try doing something productive yourself instead of going into video comments sections just to tell people to go do something else, if you're going to be so preachy.

[@CurbSideAttraction]

Matched with a blind date app. All things were going good talking, decided to meet up. I knew she was a blonde and roughly 5’10ish. Seen someone who matched the description and went up to make my move, said “hi are you *name*” she replied yes and said awesome let’s get this date rolling. We went to eat, went for a joyride and went to an over look to enjoy the sunset. After a great connection and I dropped her off at her car where we met up. On my way back to my place and got a notification from the app, from my match. Saying that she was sorry she hadn’t showed up, something came up with her kid and she’d love to reschedule if I’d be okay with that…I laughed and was so confused who tf I just randomly took on a 5hr+ date. I never even got her number since I thought we were matched on the app.

[@tiaslays255]

LMFAO I’m sorry but that is too fucking funny

[@couldntbeme7385]

Sounds like you had a fun time

[@JojoFE40536]

This lowkey makes me sad, sounds like such a good time and maybe the connection could’ve kept going. Maybe she was also going on a blind date and thought you were who she matched with?

[@gaaraxnaru]

Weird how she only got back to you after the date. You sure she wasn't the one you actually went out with, wasn't feeling the date, and decided to act like you never actually met in order to soft reject you?

[@NN-re7cy]

​@@gaaraxnaru 🎯

[@robertrichards6964]

I so love the bit of Cody leaving the desk and being small

[@TVHorrorArt]

The tiny arms too im crying 😭😭

[@leahrose-yt]

gets me every TIME

[@JustDeLuca]

Poo​@@TVHorrorArt

[@Caleeb]

it’s not a bit he’s just that tall ofc

[@thatfuckerwhossleepy2696]

i read this comment before watching the video and was rly looking forward to seeing whatever the fuck that meant, it did not disappoint

[@ainnochaim9450]

Cody is so naive. The guy didn't lose his keys😂😂 He doesn't have a car.

[@madelinerose1281]

REAL 🤣🤣

[@lilknish]

And he also didn't forget his wallet, he's broke

[@tinntinnamp]

@@lilknishHe at least seemed to get that part, haha. He did say he didn't forget his wallet, she was "scammed". Not sure how a bunch of taco bell tacos is a scam, I would just say no I'm not paying for 100 tacos, or at least lie and say I don't have that much in my account (not like you are planning on keeping them as a partner, and you can leave drive throughs, they would stop making tacos once they see no one paid so no loss on them!)

[@marchcupcake]

@@tinntinnampafter an experience like that I would need to eat at least 20 tacos and go into a food coma for a while

[@grey_f98]

he knew she would've cancelled the date if he asked a girl to pick him up, he's exactly like that 9 month pregnant lady that showed up to dates without telling she's pregnant, except replace pregnant belly with the lack of a car

[@smjg783]

As a woman who was severely bullied in elementary, middle, and high school I wouldn’t have been turned off at all by a guy crying in a scenario like that. It’s awful to be the butt of jokes when your self esteem is already so low, and in situations like that you can’t think rationally in order to have a good comeback.

[@paytonb313]

EXACTLY

[@stellviahohenheim]

This is why school needs to bring back God to the curriculum

[@kileybiz]

@@stellviahohenheimyeahhh, no. Gods got nothing to do with this.

[@Sharp_Shark25]

No same I would feel so bad I would honestly ask him if he wanted to leave or go do something else for the night cuz that lowkey pisses me off so much if they kept drilling him. A couple remarks is one thing and if made correctly honestly a funny bit, but having multiple acts basically attack you would make me extremely upset.

[@lolaspencer227]

sure do!

[@Layal615]

if 3 comedians roasted me about my date being out of my league unprompted back to back …. that’d be my 13th reason frfr I feel bad for the guy.

[@lamppuu1]

It just sounds like bullying to be honest.

[@notbadsince97]

I think by the second comic I would become belligerently drunk and fight the third one

[@kingdingaling3376]

what I wanna know is if he started crying while the dude was making fun of him

[@drewhempwood2113]

​@@kazakukogif the dude has money it's crazy common

[@Timman57]

I havent watched yet but that sounds like an episode of Kill Tony lol

[@lockeforeer]

I really feel for that comedy show guy. I'm pretty sure he didn't *choose* to cry. But if you have anxiety, low self-esteem, things like that, and you're being publicly and relentlessly humiliated... I mean damn. That sucks.

[@6thwilbury2331]

On the other hand, if he has low self esteem, what is the likelihood he would be on a date with a woman who is so attractive that she prompts three straight comedians to do crowd work?

[@zozoflagnard1]

no literally… that sounds like a special type of hell. i use self deprecating humor despite my poor self esteem… but about things in the moment i’m comfortable about bringing mild attention to because it’s safer, and not as hurtful as the things i only say to myself. especially after trying to hard to take it in stride and not “ruin” the atmosphere, continuously laughing shit off while dying inside… i would have cried after so many unprompted deep cuts from strangers too, jesus. 🤦🏽‍♀️ even if that wasn’t directed at me but i’d seen that shit happening that would’ve made me so sad for him… you can tell when someone is uncomfortable after being poked despite masking and trying to laugh it off… i don’t find it funny to do that shit. whack as hell

[@msjkramey]

Right? Plus I'm sure it sucked for her to be called a wh*re with low standards on top of it. That would be so uncomfortable for everyone involved. Poor guy

[@IngPeace]

He was probably sitting up front

[@Hopeskyesk]

I am 100% sure I would have also cried if that happened to me

[@maryamj1186]

im 23 &never actually dated (personal choice). only once 2 of my friends had a double date &their dates had another dude that wanted to go out. they really wanted me to come &asked me to join. when i first arrived this guy acted nice, calling me pretty. i said thanks, but then he proceeded to tell me things like "but don't let it get into ur head you're not THAT pretty" "you're pretty but not BEAUTY QUEEN pretty" i was like okay???? i just laughed it off and then he kept talking about his bdsm/degrading kinks (explains the way he talks thinking it's attractive LMAO). then tried to get too touchy when i was drunk &when i pulled him away he said "oh you're not THAT drunk.." avoided him the entire night after &decided to never try this whole thing again!

[@RONANAWAY]

omggg ive had a sinilar experience. i also havent dated before but i had joined a friends study session in college and 1 guy would ig "hit" on me and say some wack rhings like ur mentioning. it felt so uncomfortable for me and i avoided that person the rest of college. i also stopped hanging out with those friends :(

[@maryamj1186]

@@RONANAWAY oh wow im sorry

[@Antigonex]

Whew thats scary

[@AYVYN]

He was right, you’re prettier than a Beauty Queen, baby

[@wasnlos2676]

How many red flags do you want to throw up? That dude: YES Honestly sorry you met that dude. He sounds like a creep.

[@rdear]

“This is the T that Rexed up” killed me. So stupid and so funny

[@izzaanimates9041]

That was my favorite part of the video 😂

[@Ohwhale79]

IKR?!

[@coalvarner1813]

That whole story has me rolling bc the T-rex from Jurrasic Park is famously a mother T-rex

[@jenna4896]

just saw this part and scrolled til i found someone commenting this 😂

[@ele_n3]

LITERALLY

[@SN-of5tu]

2:15 that's a genius concept. just someone that goes on Tinder, finds someone, convices them to go on a "date", and ends up going on an epic world saving adventure. then at the end then just say "yeah hey, you're a great person but this isn't gonna work out". and they move onto the next quest

[@wellthisisinteresting4912]

That wasn’t epic at all though? That’s just a weird and inconsiderate guy and she didn’t want have any self respect

[@calebcameron3128]

@@wellthisisinteresting4912bro was on a mission and completed it, gotta respect it

[@pissbaby8136]

​@@wellthisisinteresting4912 they didn't say it was they said the concept was

[@rebeccap1441]

Happens WAY more than you’d think. I met a dude that did similar and it was so natural like he’d played the same shit a hundred times already. I am no longer on dating apps, and no longer a doormat thankfully

[@jordyschulz1989]

@@wellthisisinteresting4912just because it’s not nice to do doesn’t make it not epic.

[@FriendOfRiley]

8:00 “cut above the rest” guy sounds EXACTLY like The Slappable Jerk from KZbin so either that IS him just doing another skit, or TSJ really has just nailed the “average redditor” persona

[@m0thluvr]

yeahhh!! it was on my fyp a while ago and that was exactly my thought when i saw it. iirc there were a few comments there saying the same thing so it’s confirmed eerily similar if not just him

[@ScottCreley]

It's him

[@freshmozzarello]

Exactly! If it's not him, it's scary how accurate his character is

[@radicalmad]

Went on a date with a guy a few years ago. He suggested getting drinks and told me I should eat dinner beforehand. When I got there having already eaten, he said he was starving and that he'd already ordered nachos, which he then ate in front of me. He said he was looking for a suitable mother for his golden retriever and eventually least four children, bragged about his job (working part time at a college) and then went into detail about his five year plan: going off the grid solely to avoid paying taxes. I think the only question he asked me the entire date is if I had any "survival skills." We didn't keep in touch.

[@charkatslife]

LMFAOO

[@Zoe-rf3ly]

Jesus Christ, was he a guy named Aaron from New Orleans? Cause LITERALLY same.

[@sadiegeee]

The only question he asked being “do you have any survival skills” is so fucking funny. Dudes a total nut

[@tempacct5812]

I’d be friends with that guy

[@raimarulightning]

I am always fascinated by the people who think the world is large enough to just go "off grid" so easily, and who also think that it will somehow exempt them from taxes. Like, it must be so magical

[@jenna9361]

i love how cody actually thinks this man “lost his keys” rather than accepting the fact that this man doesn’t have a car

[@arjunsubrahmanian7535]

I went on a date once with this girl and she had an anxiety attack in the middle of the date. I tried to calm her down, but that made her even more anxious. I felt horrible and then I ended up having an anxiety attack as well. We just went home after that. It's a shame.

[@caseyw.6550]

Kinda sounds like a match!

[@Cat_theft_auto]

Should’ve gone to Taco Bell and feast 100 tacos

[@xwannabeetinkerbellx]

Stuck on you lol

[@Camjidi]

Matched with someone on tinder, we chatted a couple days on and off, we eventually decided to meet at the bar, she spent a lot of time on her phone, seemed extremely eager/anxious, looking at the front door of the bar, people kept walking by us and saying hi to her so this was obviously her watering hole, we got one drink in before whoever she was messaging/eagerly awaiting arrived, she excuses herself for "just a second" 10 minutes later she still isn't back, the bartender comes down to my end, asks if we're on a date, I told him yeah, he goes "that was her coke dealer, your beer is on me if you wanna dip, she ain't comin back and if she is, you don't wanna be around her"

[@msjkramey]

Did you dip?

[@Swift_Lemon]

O- oh my god I was not expecting that ,I hope Cody reads this one🤞🏻

[@deliciousnatalicious]

Bartender is a G!

[@tiaslays255]

Should have gotten a few lines out of the date then went home😂

[@ihaveavoicee]

damn yeah that was a really good bartender, very curious if you dipped.

[@TacoBelle100]

14:00 He definitely just had a T-rex tattoo because it's fucking dope, but in that moment realized, "I could tell her any story for why I have this tattoo right now, and she'd never know..." Then just went with the craziest reason he could think of.

[@martinjanson1361]

That’s what I’m thinking - sounds like a great joke response

[@Chickenn0913]

and the T-rex in JP is female LMFAOOAOAOAO

[@jazay591]

It had to have been a joke

[@elleuno1165]

if i ended up dating that guy i would lean into it hard. movie release dad = dads birthday, fathers day = dino cake, presents from dad wrapped like i had useless forearms. father son portraits custom made. i would never stop

[@hiamandataylor]

@@Chickenn0913I ran to the comments for this lol thank you

[@dakotapett8040]

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT! My craziest first date: We matched on tinder and on his profile he has a lil quip about only having one arm and he wears two prosthetic legs. He was a pretty boring texter but convinced me to pick him up at his house so we could grab coffee. (This is around 6pm-7pm so it’s dark already) I pick him up and he is a little more lively and interesting in person so we talk while on the way to the coffee shop. I figured that with any other date he had been on, they probably always ask about his arms/legs and wanna hear the story. I didn’t wanna pry and be one of those people but I was curious if people always ask him about it on the first date: leaving him room to not share if he doesn’t want to. While I’m in the middle of asking him, he interrupts me and blurts out, “I got hit by a train”. I was stunned and was like “oh, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to” but we sorta joke around the subject for the next few minutes. We’re finally at the coffee shop and go through the drive thru to order and when things got quiet, I offered that he could show me some of his music taste. He HAPPILY took the aux and started showing me some emo rap and then proceeds to turn it up WAY to loud and started RAPPING ALONG. LOUD. While Im ordering for us, I tried turning down the music but he kept rapping along anyway. The whole thing is just super cringe but I parked us off in the parking lot anyway so we can figure out what the plan is. We’re throwing around ideas of places to go and he confidently suggests, “wanna see the railroad crossing I got hit at?”. Once again, I’m STUNNED and I was like “are you sure that’s not like…super triggering for you?” but he insists. I’m aware of how unsafe this sounds so I’m super cautious and he gives me directions and he guided us to the railroad crossing. We get there and he doesn’t even explain what happened, he just goes “this is the spot. There’s video evidence of it happening somewhere on the internet, I wish I could find it.” THEN he asks if we wanna hang out in the car in this industrial area next to the railroad but I’m feeling unsafe and freaked out. For some reason, I was fully invested in how crazy this could get cause he didn’t seem like an unsafe person, just really fucking weird. We visit a park and talk for a bit, the conversation gets pretty interesting and he invited me back to his place. I’m not sure what I was expecting but he lives with his parents which is no biggie but he IMMEDIATELY introduces me and leaves me alone with them. They had really cute dogs so conversation was easy but it was still weird. This man continued to show me more emo rap, perform for me, was DRIPPING sweat profusely, and eventually we hook up. After hooking up, he didn’t even wait an entire minute before saying “so you’re heading out, right?” I promptly left and he texted me only saying “hey” for an entire YEAR after that date like every month. Not once did I respond. I eventually had to block him. Horrible date, but an unbelievable story to tell.

[@tiaslays255]

My question is why did you hook up with him after all of that. I can’t shame I’ve done some crazy shit in my life lol but I’m genuinely curious

[@Ophelia300]

This story is truly a wild ride. Thank you for sharing and I hope to god Cody sees it haha

[@dakotapett8040]

@@Ophelia300 GOD I hope so, I just know he’d lose his mind for this story. I NEED him to see it and know his reaction 😭

[@lukewarmcoffee5743]

The truly wildest part of this story is that after all that, you *still* HOOKED UP WITH HIM???

[@dakotapett8040]

@@lukewarmcoffee5743I’ve had smarter days lmao

[@stinkytunabreathh]

my bf and i went to a bar not knowing it was comedy night, the first minute we walked in the comedian instantly called us out and did “crowd work” on us aka just saying rude shit. no one laughed and we walked out of the bar. i hate when comedians think crowd work is just being a dick, we went there for a drink not to be dissed.

[@notbadsince97]

Crowd work is for hacks. Always has been, always will be

[@Random-sk6hm]

Y'all did the right thing. I'd do the same cos I'm there to laugh, not get made fun of. Also my self esteem is far too vulnerable for that shi

[@jadennguyen683]

@@notbadsince97nah, hacks try to. There are some comics that are good at it

[@GM-qq1wi]

Especially when the hack on stage finds out you're on a first date, it just became his prime objective to humilliate one of you and ruin your evening. "Oh sweet, you guys are on a first date?" **coy look at crowd to signal incoming cringe bomb** "..soo, how far can you squirt?" **crowd goes wild**

[@bananainacup]

My fave crowd work ever was on kill Tony don’t remember the comedian but he pointed to a couple and said “are you guys a couple? Couple a’ dumb shits” good stuff

[@lydiaann5261]

thank god you're here cody i was almost alone with my thoughts for more than 5 minutes !

[@kathymathy368]

10:40 I genuinely don’t think that this was fake. Her body language screams I just want to get out of here. I feel for her 100%

[@Hazy_sweets]

Yeah I’m thinking the same thing! She looks so uncomfortable!

[@sakuraqueen1734]

I felt unsafe just listening to it all 😬

[@shannonceleste5557]

For all future blind daters: always drive yourself/have a safe way home, leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable, always expect to pay for yourself, location share with at least one person Take care, have fun, be safe 💜

[@its_kazmania]

That one gave me so much anxiety. I felt like I was going to throw up

[@zigzagintrusion]

That was the fakest acting I’ve ever seen lol

[@TheLastHylianTitan]

The comedy show OP has my deepest sympathies. That sounds absolutely horrible and it’s unfortunate that you were put in what sounds like the worst possible situation for you. If your date was a keeper they’d at least respond with an apology to touch base and make sure you’re okay so at least it wasn’t that big of a loss.

[@MilesToGoGo]

I know right that girl sucks lol I would understand maybe if it was their first date but a FOURTH date and you just ghost him over that instead of reassuring him is so mean

[@notbadsince97]

We love to see women reinforcing toxic masculinity lol. I swear I cry every week with or to my gf

[@neopet13]

I feel bad for him thinking that he is a loser,he didn't do anything wrong. This just shows he is human and that girl didn't deserve him. It's sad to think he was feeling so low about himself,I mean they were on their 4th date so she must have liked him for a reason but I feel for him... I wish stand up comics would focus more on writing material instead of roasting their audience.

[@EveTheRaviolo]

the thing is that she was mocked too, they literally called her a h00ker with low standards. That can make lot of people wanna leave. They werent "boyfriend and girlfriend" nor were they about to marry. They were stll pretty much strangers. If I was on a dater with someone and we got humiliated at a stand up comedy show i'd probably not wanna see the person again either, in order to not remember the humiliation. Especially being compared to a prostitute in front of a crowded room? Hell nah i'd cry dude.

[@EveTheRaviolo]

@@MilesToGoGo how does she suck? She got mocked too and called a h00ker and a prostitute in front of the whole room. So the guy getting humiliated gets sympathy but the girl getting humiliated gets the insults. Internet in 2024 is wild Also idk why you talking about a 4th date as if they were basically engaged, that's still pretty much being strangers? Idk maybe i'm just out of the loop on how tinder dating works but back in my day knowing someone for a overall quantitative amount of less than 24 hours isnt really....that much?

[@mcatfin]

just sat down in the bathroom stall to eat lunch alone like a loser in a netflix original high school movie, boy am i excited!

[@Marie-vc2xg]

I remember those days :/ just know it gets better after high school

[@Caittycat]

Mean Girls

[@YouArePitiful]

That is gross :(

[@assas1nscreed]

Honestly sounds nice. I used to sneak in to classrooms so I could eat lunch in the peace and quiet.

[@Lilac_Lov3]

Been there, everyone says you’ll make friends in HS and it will be better. Doesn’t always work that way, but after highschool that shit won’t matter ♥️ you got this

[@kazootas]

the way cody is so gullible but also calls every realistic video fake kills me 😭

[@whatever3145]

If youre dating a girl out of your league you should take it as a compliment. Either she digs your non conventional looks or your personality is so amazing she doesnt care 10/10

[@thrpotatoasfgfejfidieiidkr7071]

Cringe

[@soberserotonin1850]

Many, if not most, women are not as looks-obsessed as men. Women generally worry more about earning potential and are typically attracted more to men of higher status/authority/power/income than to just any man who looks attractive, whereas many, if not most, men definitely prioritize looks over everything else. As far as caring about personality, I think there’s a wide range of types of people when it comes to this category among both genders. You’ll find many women and men who care deeply about a person’s personality traits and compatibility, but you’ll also find many of both who will transform their own personalities to match that of attractive (usually men) or high-status (usually women) persons. There’s also the biological imperative to reproduce, explaining men often preferring younger attractive women and women often preferring older well-off (in terms of income, status, power, etc.) men. The latter phenomenon is referred to as hypergamy, the innate female desire among the vast majority (but not all, everyone is different) of women to “marry up” by only dating or marrying men of higher status/power/income to theoretically be a good provider to any future children.

[@evanscott9473]

No woman is out of their league.

[@brittnay279]

@@soberserotonin1850then explain all the hot girls ik dating ugly dudes without jobs? I can…those dudes have great personalities lol no but fr I see it often and usually the guy is very funny which goes so far with women. I could never date someone who doesn’t make me laugh!

[@brittnay279]

@@evanscott9473I’ve literally never met a couple and thought “what’s he doing with her?” Never in my life actually. Either people are pretty even or dating girls who are waaaaaay too nice to be with the guy.

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

The terrible dinner date with the "nice guy" sounded exactly like the dude from the channel Slappable Jerk

[@calebtaylor3835]

I was thinking that exact same thing

[@lennylikesmusic]

It's autism. Dude had autism.

[@othrworldly69]

def reminded me of Patrick Bateman

[@cheesecake2048]

YESSS LOL

[@stupidgirl7379]

@@othrworldly69i’ve been looking for this comment

[@madlibs4]

I absolutely believe the “nice guy” scenerio was real. I’ve met guys exactly like that, and they are in fact dumb and arrogant enough to not notice that you’re unhappy or filming.

[@tiaslays255]

They are manipulative and cunning. It’s an act. That isn’t being nice nor do they believe it. They want control and those are the ones that usually beat you to a pulp behind closed doors and tell you they have never done that they are so sweet and won’t do it again. 👎😐

[@seraphimian]

I feel like the rise of Andrew Tate & manosphere content has made this sort of behavior even more common, it's so disturbing.

[@bassmunk]

I hate the "nice guy" label, why can we go back to calling them what they really are, self-centered and egotistical?...

[@kyliemarie5347]

I think I recognize the voice, he has many cringe characters like this. Im pretty sure theres a other angle they filmed where its just his face. Will come back and edit to include the tiktok account. Edit: Jack Ryan/ TheSlappableJerk

[@WilsonKH92]

​@@kyliemarie5347 That's exactly who I thought it sounded like too, I came to see if anyone else recognized him

[@cm4n63]

cody seeing footage of someone getting upset about a split bill: bruh fake content Cody listening to a story about someone agreeing to buy a stranger 100 tacos: interesting

[@drewhempwood2113]

Bc the one they're clearly acting (badly) and the other doesn't make sense to mKe up, isn't outlandish, and definitely no one's obviously acting in it. If you're worse at discerning content than cody... good luck my sweet summer child

[@cm4n63]

@@drewhempwood2113 wdym it doesn't make sense to make up? are you new to the internet? my poor sweet summer child, people will make shit up for anything.

[@drewhempwood2113]

@@cm4n63 babe if you can't tell when someone's acting/lying you need to just recuse yourself from judging all together.

[@cm4n63]

@@drewhempwood2113 pack it up everybody, this guy was clearly there for the taco story, bro probably got free lunch

[@cm4n63]

@@drewhempwood2113 pack it up fellas, this guy was clearly there in the taco story hey completely random but have you been on any dates where the girl bought you and your dad 100 tacos recently?

[@sweetpeapodcast6052]

The second dude, the controlling one, freaked me out lol. I was genuinely scared lmao. And also if a girl isn't empathetic to your emotions then she's not the one. Dudes are allowed to have feelings and cry. Sounds like he might be out of her league tbh.

[@emmetmahoeny957]

real no fake yes

[@ejburgess]

If it's real I'd play along with it so he doesn't kill me, then go to the bathroom and call someone for a ride and try to get out of there 😳

[@sycamoreman9625]

This girl has posted several videos like this for clout its definitely fake

[@Lesbiansawtrap]

he sounds exactly like that tiktok guy that makes joke videos where he plays like, ‘nice guys’ and reddit guys and stuff i’m pretty sure it’s him and the video is a joke??

[@shuriflwrs]

​@@Lesbiansawtrapthatpunchablejerk? or something like that? it sounded EXACTLY like him!

[@ntielman2072]

@16:02 Ohh i've been there! I took my boyfriend to a comedy show once, as he's into stand-up comedy and I wanted to do something special for him. We arrived somewhat late to the show and were assigned front-row seats (if you don't want to risk being made fun of, you should really avoid these seats). My boyfriend got roasted by 3 out of the 4 comedians that performed that night. I felt so bad for him, and asked if he wanted to leave during the break. Luckily he was enjoying it and laughing along with the jokes. He said roasting is his sense of humor and he found the night even more special because he got to be in the spotlight. As someone who's been bullied before, I probably wouldn't have handled it well. But, it gave me a new-found appreciation for his easy-going personality and thick skin. Honestly made me love him that much more ❤

[@paytonb313]

Awwwww, love this

[@emmi.1997]

My worst date story: I went on a first date with a guy and he said he was going to take me to a MN Twins game, and it also happened to be on his 21st birthday. I figured we’d go straight to the stadium, but he had us stop at a family member’s apartment and I ended up meeting about half of his family before I even got to know him at all. We finally left and then he dropped the bomb that his friend would also be joining us. We finally got to the game, and the vendors wouldn’t accept his papers bc he hadn’t gotten his new ID yet (which he got unreasonably mad about) and so his friend had to buy all his drinks. They both got absolutely hammered, and his friend then started to hit on me too creating a ton of awkward tension. By the end of the game they were both on the verge of blacking out, so I had to drive them both in his friend’s car back to his apartment. While I was driving them, he spilled a sticky energy drink all over me. Then he was very confused when I wasn’t interested in a second date 😅

[@MoonWalkerTexsRanger]

Sorry but LMAO 😂

[@jeslycruz]

holy shit dude

[@bayleecarter5145]

THE TEE THAT REXED UP

[@Lalalarzi]

Long time watched, first time commenter. I hooked up with a housemates friend on NYE 2020 while he was visiting his hometown. He asked a few days later if we could go on a date before he returned home and I agreed to do dinner and drinks after my friends and I finished at the movies. During the movie, I got a bunch of texts from the guy about how we could hook up again in the bathroom of his office's headquarters, or split a hotel room for the night. I asked him to chill and just start with the dinner and drinks. Of course, he ghosts me but no biggie I just meet up with my friends who are now having dinner. 2 HOURS after we were meant to meet, this guy calls me with some bullshit excuse and just wanted to 'check in' since he knew that being stood up could 'really mess someone up'. Of course, I had him on speaker so we all burst out laughing and he just said 'oh....' and hung up. Worst date that never happened!

[@3K2-k3m]

how drunk were you on that NYE lol sheesh asking someone for a hook up in a random bathroom as a first date ending is just...

[@darksu6947]

Herpes are for life 😮

[@caseyw.6550]

​@darksu6947 Ever heard of condoms? You should try it! You might actually have fun!

[@DistantLightNarrations]

The ultimate confusion rizz! When you and your date show up at the restaurant, flip the script and you take the waiters orders. Then you and your date go into the kitchen and make them dinner. BOOM! Uno-reverse everyone! No one will know what's going on.

[@404usernotfound-m5r]

honestly... you might have cracked the code 😅

[@jello4835]

That controlling guy gave me such rage on her behalf. She was so much nicer than I could have possibly been, I would have walked out.

[@Giryagirl]

walk out, get an uber, never look back!

[@mreppucci23]

It's fake, they knew they'd get this type of reaction and engagement

[@KateCarew]

It was pretty outrageous but her nervous giggling made me think it could’ve been real. Women get nervous sometimes and just plow through to avoid irritation and volatility. We just grin and bear it trying to not trigger an incident, then we run away and never look back. He had a slightly/vaguely menacing vibe.

[@mikastone764]

I got the feeling she was tolerating it so he didn’t murder her. Got a very menacing vibe from that guy. She probably just wanted to get out of there with the least amount of confrontation.

[@WilliamGuterman]

@@mreppucci23 hello, i have a hot new song for you to listen to called "scoot the doo". its a remastered track from The Guterman Band, 1979. I know you will enjoy it. Please thank you.

[@gudamaootsjohnson2731]

Went on a date with a girl that had severe anxiety. Which is understandable, because I go through episodes of anxiety myself. The part that threw me off she would bite her nails and take the nail chunks and put them on a napkin to the side of our dinner plates. then when she thought I wouldn’t notice, she would take the nail chunks, put them back into her mouth and start chewing them like they were bubblegum. I lied and said I had to use the bathroom, got up, found our waiter gave him $75 I briefly explained the situation and left out the back door.

[@LazyPoetess]

I legit love Elise, every Tiktok is fire. Her delivery is impeccable.

[@bluebird_618]

Me too she is hilarious

[@ValueOfJoy]

I've learned so much about myself from her videos

[@meinenklinke]

Worst date: I was 18, he picked the movie to go to on Sunday after he got out of church, he chose The Pacifier. I paid, he texted another girl the whole time (texting in the theater; so obnoxious anyway) and then left me a poem in my voicemail asking me out for “springbreakapalooza”, an event he created, where the prize was more dates with him. I hope he’s doing well, I have not kept up.

[@megand12345]

This was so uncomfortable just to read I'm so happy you didn't keep up with him

[@I.C.Weiner6969]

Incorporating “springbreakapalooza” into my vocabulary

[@LivFP]

I'm so glad Kelsey's husband has found something to keep him busy, KZbin seems to be a good fit for him ❤

[@heather_bee]

The bullying comics is truly a nightmare. The New Zealand accent made me lol.

[@P1Mitchell]

It was a very Australian sounding accent 😂

[@ghostea25]

As a New Zealander... Yeah 😭

[@lucaspsm125]

"crying is the worst thing you could have done in that situation" yeah of course cody lol i'm sure he didn't mean to do that anyway thanks for letting me have lunch, you're truly the father that stepped up for us

[@Smommasboy]

Every edit Zade does is perfect. Good vid boys

[@annatj.]

the nice guy one felt the most real, definitely creeped me out as a woman the way he was pushing to open her door and act like a “gentleman”. her reaction felt very real to me

[@ashleypearce1221]

You can hear it’s the dude who does the “nice guy” tiktok’s lol, probably before he started showing his face

[@dcarvalho6144]

Not sure if it was real or not, but the dude was for sure trying too hard. It's either staged, or he was told/convinced/manipulated to think that's what women like to be treated. It all sounded very forced regardless.

[@Evitaschannel]

I've had guys act like that on dates 😅 Trying to force me to get a certain drink, when I declined a couple times he ordered one anyway. I pushed it over to him and started drinking my own drink and he said he'd push over my drink if I didn't try it... yeah I left 🤦‍♀️

[@drewhempwood2113]

​@@ashleypearce1221no he parodies that kind of voice but tons of people sound like that lol. Doesn't sound like his. Where do you think he got it from?

[@nathangaspacio6128]

it was definitely not real. people act weird in real life but this is just a fake attempt at "capturing" that. Same with the splitting the bill one

[@piecebypiece2028]

I was in college getting ready for a random tinder date. He showed up an hour early unexpected. I had just gotten out if the shower and he told me he wanted to move up our date by an hour and to to the movies. I told him i couldnt because i had just finished showering and still needed to get ready. He said whatever just come out and we can go to the movies. My hair was dripping wet so I dried it as much as I could with the towel but it was clearly still damp. I figured if i put a hoodie on, I'd be fine as we were going to be in a dark movie theater anyways. So I get to his car and tell him that my hair was still wet from the shower. He didn't really acknowledge what I said. We made small talk and went to the theater. As we are at the theaters, he moves the middle divider between us to get more comfy. At the time, I had been on dates before and was familiar with how guys would try to casually put thier arms around you when watching a movie. This man was not subtle. He almost yanked me towards him. I swear I got whiplash. He then goes "Ugh your hair is wet! Gross!" And i was like, "yeah I had just finished showering, I told you this." He was super annoyed the rest of the movie. We were supposed to go out to eat after, but I felt like going back to my dorm. In the parking lot of my dorm, he asked me to have sex with him in the back of his car. I told him I was a virgin and he got noticeably pissed and eventually drove away. Some men -.-

[@thephantomarcana]

That’s horrifying…

[@jelatinosa]

Ew what a disgusting guy 🤢

[@sarahoakes7407]

The date!!! Thats the “dimitri” voice with that crazy voicemail. He must do a bunch of staged things like that because they are soooo ludicrous

[@aharrypotterfan5951]

12:16 made me realize just how much safer men feel than women, the worst that could’ve happened was actually that the guy could’ve felt lied to, gotten mad, and killed her

[@keen8087]

The vast majority of men don’t want to kill people…

[@buttercuup02]

Right?!?!??! So true

[@notbadsince97]

Wait till you find out about my midnight strolls in a major east coast city

[@thecrepeofdeath]

the "nice guy" was terrifying too. this is not a goofy dork trying to copy a movie, this is just about every red flag there is for a dangerous and unstable man

[@neurosin]

I had an ex roomate who snapped one day and threatened our house with violence, and he is for sure the type of dude who would have done all this on a date. Chivalry is dead and it should stay dead. Instead, treat people like they are already your friend. It's too sketchy to play those old dating games.

[@MadilynSchroeder]

my worst date was with a coworker, we both worked reception together sat at a desk just us two for 8 hours a day. he asked me out, but he didn't have his license so i picked him up. it was winter in montana (-10 degrees) and he comes out wearing skin tight khakis and SANDALS... in snow. i ask where we're going, to which he says "you choose". i drove us to a thai restaurant, he then made it super serious/awkward the entire time we ate by only talking about his childhood trauma. i was done eating and the waitress came over to ask if we wanted boxes to which he replied "i'm going to finish the whole thing". He made me watch him eat for like 20 more minutes when i was already done, and the waitress awkwardly asked if he wanted a box two more times to which he reiterated again that he was going to finish the entire meal (curry). after 20 mins he finally admitted he couldn't finish it, asked for a box, and the waitress dropped off the check which he let sit at the end of the table. after 5 minutes of him ignoring it, i picked it up. he then pulled out his wallet from his FANNY PACK and offered a gift card from the place that we worked, saying "you think they'll take this?" as a joke. i did not think it was funny at all and i paid. driving him back i didn't want to talk so i turned the music up, he had the audacity to turn down the music and ask me "so what song do you think describes how you felt about our date?". he hit me with a handshake when i dropped him off and tried to ask me on a second date, to which i obviously said no. not as bad as some of these but stillllllll

[@RONANAWAY]

stories and experiences like these fr make me realize u cant date coworkers. that sounds like such an awkward and cringe date 😭

[@Yannisaudre99]

Whyyyyy did you pick up the bill and paid?? I wouldn’t have touched it

[@Halbmond]

The handshake 😭

[@pineappleparty1624]

I checked the username to determine if this was a guy and guy date. Just trying to understand the skin tight khakis and sandals, and maybe the confusion on paying.

[@Antigonex]

Ew

[@kokobeatz7222]

22:00. The dude probably wanted out of the date and wanted to see how long he could rap before she left. Lmfao.

[@xion1031]

The worst date story I have is my date ditched me (rightly so) He asked me where I wanted to eat and I told him I was in the mood for hot dogs. I knew we both didn’t have a lot of money so i didn’t want to get anything to expensive. He got excited and said he knew the perfect spot. We get to the hot dog joint and they had a hot dog eating contest with a 10$ entry fee. I thought that was an awesome idea since we could eat as much as we want for 10$. He laughed and I signed my name down and entered. The contest started and I got 4th place, when I got done, my date had left and deleted me from Facebook. I had such a good time but it was a bummer he left.

[@notbadsince97]

Rightly so? That dude sucks

[@ZmajesticPandaz]

No that dude really sucks

[@cm4n63]

nah homie there's def something missing here, what?

[@xion1031]

@@notbadsince97 really? Cause everyone else I have told about it just told me that they probably would have left too if someone did that on their first date cause they’d be grossed out.

[@xion1031]

@@cm4n63 I didn’t want to add the amount of hot dogs I ate, but I genuinely believe it was a factor. 😬🥲

[@kaemincha]

I would definitely cry if even more than ONE comic picked on me at a comedy club. Like one? Sure, it happens, and I can brush it off. More than that? They see something that makes them want to single you out 😭

[@ihaventaname2686]

personally i think whoever initiated the first date should pay. if u ask me out to a fancy restaurant, then i'm gonna expect you to pay, i would just get something cheaper though. after the first date, once its a mutual agreement to go out rather than one asking the other, than you split the bill.

[@thefoxyllama]

Can’t believe Cody’s editor had time to make him small the whole time !! Give this man a raise

[@thecrepeofdeath]

I went bowling on a first date. he talked himself up for 20 minutes while we waited for a lane, saying how he won trophies in his college bowling league...a decade ago...I kept reminding him that we agreed not to get competitive and we were just here for fun etc. and he'd agree and go right back to bragging. we finally got our lanes. I got a slightly higher score than him and he left me there with no ride home and never spoke to me again. I had to sit there for an hour and a half waiting for my dad to drive back from work and take me home PS: Amway is why the DeVos family is disgustingly rich. it's their scam.

[@copperjackalope7189]

Went on a date with a dude in middle school, he insisted we go out on a lake in a metal canoe when a storm was supposedly going to come in- I told him it was a bad idea and had no interest. I had never been in one before, had no experience at all. The storm turned into an intense downpour and lightning storm- and instead of helping me row the canoe back to safety he cowered at the end of it and made me do all the work.

[@cjdub0930]

I love how Cody is continuing the “too, as well, also” bit from the last vid 😂

[@BeingShari]

I really wanted to make new friends in 2020, a girl walked up to me at target and we hit it off and then halfway through the conversation. She asked what I did for work and tried getting Me to join her with Amway. These people are so deceptive it’s awful. The funniest part was all the benefits she listed were already perks I had at my company that actually paid me.

[@jmz2144]

I was also preyed on under the guise of an employment opportunity, later I ran across the same person in a public setting, greeting people at church, and wish I had brought up scummy Scamway

[@nothinwatever]

10:48 no, not Fifty Shades of Grey…. It’s actually American psycho you’re thinking of. 😂 The Voice, the ordering, that I have to get the door, you will not embarrass me…. 100% Christian Bale in American psycho. 😂

[@GM-qq1wi]

I thought the same thing. Fifty shades of grey was such an unexpected reference for that moment. I'm reminded of the type of guys who watch Andrew Tate videos and can't pull of the "alpha" vibe so it come across as kinda awkward and gross.

[@nothinwatever]

@@GM-qq1wi 100% exactly 😂

[@J4deR4bb1t]

Nar I feel so bad for the guy who got picked on by 3 comedians. That shit isn't easy, I think most people would probably cry

[@ele_n3]

ikr...getting picked on by not just 1 but 3 comedians is crazy

[@trinimeng]

Recently met a guy on a dating app who was ridiculously excited that we matched and wanted to spend time together. I offered to go to his place because he had a daughter who he took care of 99% of the time and he didn’t have a babysitter. His daughter was sleeping so it felt like a safe situation. That night, though the connection was a 4/10, we kissed on his couch and suddenly I noticed movement on his security cameras. His ex/ baby mama (who I did not know he was still hooking up with - who had also cheated on him for years within the relationship) had hopped his fence and keyed all around my car. I ran outside thinking she would stop keying the car when she saw me, and she immediately hit me in the face. She was severely drunk. The guy had to restrain her from attacking me and she refused to leave, calling me a slut and saying they were still having sex. I eventually had to call the police and spent the night talking to the police while she denied everything saying “if I hit her, you would know it”. Luckily I had recorded the keying on my phone (unfortunately the assault was just off camera). I’m pretty sure they are back together now

[@that.neurodivergent]

Oof 😬 yeah honestly it’s a red flag when they’re a lil TOO excited to see you, like calm down we don’t even know each other yet

[@trinimeng]

@@that.neurodivergent absolutely! I think he was just excited to show her he was going out with someone else 🤦🏻‍♀️ How else would she know to come over at that time?

[@megand12345]

That is horrifying, I'm so glad it didn't end worse cause it definitely could have, my God

[@abigailscates8198]

how is she not in jail?!?

[@trinimeng]

@@abigailscates8198 justice system in the Caribbean is not ideal. I also didn’t mention that she wanted to take the daughter home while completely inebriated without a car seat. Their daughter is maybe 4?

[@rae7864]

LOOL I love cody being tiny when he stands up 😂😂 I always look forward to it

[@alexodonnal3352]

Yeah you lost me at 100 tacos, at least make it a reasonable amount.. Who in their right mind would say “oh! you don’t have your wallet? Okay I’ll buy you your 100 tacos complete stranger!”

[@gibbyjibby0]

Exactly what I was thinking. Like that story was so stupidly unreasonable. No way it’s a real one.

[@that.neurodivergent]

It’s called having severe social anxiety lol, if you don’t have it you really wouldn’t understand

[@InfectedAnus]

@@that.neurodivergentwhat

[@alexodonnal3352]

@@that.neurodivergent if you let some random person use you to buy 100 tacos then you’re as sharp as a butter knife in a bowl of soup

[@RosaHernandez-uw2ul]

I find it unreasonable that Taco Bell would even be able to accommodate an order for 100 tacos on short notice.

[@KayossPlays]

"It's performance art, just go with it" CODY THAT IS THE WORST ADVICE YOU SRSLY NEED A DISCLAIMER YOU IJYIT

[@lastplusfirst]

The “nice guy date” is hilarious😂 I immediately recognized the voice as SlappableJerk. His videos are absolutely hilarious and he has some of the best characters he plays

[@emmy372_bce0]

Just got out of a root canal let’s go

[@charlotte-yk6tz]

hope you’re feeling okay buddy!

[@dabordietrying]

NO WAY REALLY??? me too lmfaooo did they also use a torch on a metal rod and stick it in your tooth????

[@madatnumbers88]

I'm in bed with a broken leg, ill trade you😂 Root canals suck though, rest up and youll be fine in a couple of days!

[@TheLastHylianTitan]

Im rooting for you

[@iCookCrystalMeth]

i hope the waves weren’t too big

[@lucydearden5625]

A guy took me to Ironclaw for a 2nd date. Worst date movie. I was crying by the end because it’s hella depressing and I have hella depression. When he was driving me back home, he thought he would “cheer me up” by playing Tyler the Creator and rapping along to it. I have never said I especially loved Tyler the Creator or knew his music so that kind of came out of nowhere. After a week of not texting each other (mutual ghosting), he messaged me saying he wasn’t interested. Fine, cause same. Another week goes by and he asks if I wanted to hook up. Not fine, cause not same.

[@nedisahonkey]

You're the problem. Although him asking to hook up out of nowhere is a douche move.

[@siennajade4885]

Just saw the thumbnail again in my subscription feed and has anyone pointed out the prime rib and mashed potatoes in there because that attention to detail deserves to be recognized

[@dillona1001]

Cody reacting to Elyse Myers was not on my 2024 bingo card🤣 Brody should invite her on for live reacts n storytimes😂💯💯💯

[@acoelomate2984]

Fr

[@annaphelan635]

I bet she’s gonna flip

[@garlicbred71]

i feel like her and kelsey would get along so well

[@dillona1001]

@@garlicbred71immaculate mother vibes💯

[@Digital_muse]

@@acoelomate2984most of her vids are legit lies 😂 she would just come on and lie the entire time … the entire story she just told was bs 💀 it’s giving Colleen balenger

[@thembo1213]

i wish the zade intros were 20 minutes long and then cody spoke for 1 minute

[@flynn8166]

dissed cody so hard xD

[@alexisb3829]

Lol

[@caylinmiller8004]

Worst date: I matched with a guy on tinder and decided to go on a date with him. He picked me up and I noticed he was a bit shorter than what his profile said, not a big deal because I still thought he was attractive and funny. We went to Olive Garden, as we were waiting for our meals I mentioned something about us being the same height (trying to make a joke, ease tension and what not) this man literally responded with “Well at least I’m not a wh*re” I immediately asked him to take me home and he said he was just joking. I never spoke to him again.

[@kimarycarlson93]

Oh god, there are so many. When I was in high school, my first "boyfriend" and I went on our 2nd date, after seeing a movie, he asked if I wanted to meet a friend of his... I didn't know what to do in this scenario (I was 16) so I just went along with it. Next thing I know, I'm pulling into a McDonald's parking lot. We walk into the restaurant, and I don't see anyone remotely close to our age. He confidently strides on over to a middle aged man who is sitting alone. The friend he wanted me to meet was his youth pastor. We stayed there for 2 hours. I didn't know how to get out of it. But the kicker is that he didn't even leave with me. His youth pastor gave him a ride home. I drove home in silence, computing wtf had happened

[@nedisahonkey]

He was definitely fucking the youth pastor

[@GabriellaBianca8]

As someone who is an anxious eater I could never agree to someone ordering for me, I would make it very clear that I will be ordering my own food like an adult

[@ntokozodlamini6888]

rapping under my hand would actually make me sit back down coz that's hilarious as hell

[@tiadexter]

Worst date: I went on a date with a guy on OkCupid many years ago. His profile picture was him in a leather jacket and I couldn’t really see his face. He seemed decent enough, though. We decided to go downtown to a bar. I was unaware he would be bringing his brother and his brother would be bringing his gf. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was our first time meeting and I felt it was a little weird. We started with conversation and the guy kept talking over me and trying to one up everything I said. I was beginning to feel the need to leave, but felt uncomfortable that it was so early in the date. They decided we could play pool and I thought if I just stick it out a little longer, I can be on my way. He really wanted to teach me how to play pool. The problem was I already knew how to play and I told him that. As I took the stick, he grabbed it and continued to try to put my arms the correct way, etc. I asked him to please stop. He eventually stopped and seemed happy about his “work”. After we played, I decided to leave and his brother and the gf kindly said goodbye and left, leaving my date to walk me to my car. Now, I can be a pretty awkward person so I empathize with awkwardness greatly and I felt a bit bad for him. He obviously didn’t know what to do. But I quickly stopped feeling bad for him after we got to my car. He leaned in to kiss me and I said, “Oh, no thank you.” I didn’t feel it was right to force myself to do that when I really wasn’t feeling it. That’s when he started crying. I sat with him on a nearby bench for about 30 minutes comforting him. I didn’t want to leave him on the street crying by himself. I eventually left and decided OkCupid may not be my thing.

[@rezonance4937]

Ur a homie for comforting him lol.

[@TC-ku4vv]

People who can't take polite rejection are not ready to be dating. You shouldn't have had to comfort him, he could've called a friend or even his brother.

[@J.U.N.K.official]

So my worst first date went like this: I took her out to a restaurant, everything went fine so far. I had some Risotto (I don't have any known allergies) and about an hour later I started to get the worst allergic reaction ever, had itching red spots all over my entire body and I got super annoyed by everything itching. She actually handled the awkward situation quite well, she came with me to the pharmacy and was very understanding of me being angry because I felt like this was the worst date ever. I actually went out on another date with her but It didn't quite work out. I'm just glad she handled the situation well and tried to support me😅😂

[@tiaslays255]

So what had happened

[@redheaded491]

*trigger warning for guns and violence* I was robbed at gunpoint on a first date. A few years ago I met a guy on tinder. We hit it off and decided to meet up. We met up for dinner and hit it off nicely. Then he invited me for after dinner drinks at a bar near his place. So, we drove separately to his house and then walked to the bar together. We had a great time at the bar and then he invited me to come back to his place and hang out some more and to meet his dog. We left the bar and were walking back to his house. It was a lovely warm night and we were both giggling and enjoying ourselves. Then I heard what sounded like feet shuffling on a basketball court behind me. I thought “hm, a bit late for a jogger” and turned around and it was three masked men pointing guns at us. One of them approached me and put the gun in the small of my back and the other two pointed their guns at my date. They yelled at us to lay down on the ground. Then one of them grabbed my purse and started rifling through it. He opened my small makeup bag which had condoms in it and he mocked me and asked “why do you have condoms if you’re a girl!?!?” I was literally like “um because I don’t want kids right now?” For some reason that made them laugh??? Then he found my cigarettes. He grabbed three out of the pack and then threw the pack at me along with my car keys and said “remember, I’m a good guy robber” and they all laughed again. Then they started patting us both down while we were on the ground and asking if we had guns on us. They didn’t find any guns on us. Then they took my dates phone, keys and wallet and ran off into the night. **but here’s where it gets fucking weird** Turns out my date was in fact carrying a gun. They just didn’t find it on his ankle. So now my date jumps up and is like “I’m going to shoot them! Should I shoot them!?” I’m like “no please don’t shoot them!” Like what was my date expecting? He could shoot three armed men in the back while they are running in the dark while he’s tipsy? So now we’re freaking out a bit. We start running to his place. Of course his car is parked behind mine. So even though I have my keys because of the “good guy robber” I can’t leave. Thank god he had a keypad entry and a spare set of car keys. So we get into his house and all of the sudden his car alarm starts going off. Omg. We realized these fuckers are coming back to steal his car. So he runs upstairs and comes back down with a rifle. He drags a dining chair to the front hallway and hands the gun to me and says “sit here by the door while I go to my neighbors houses for help” I’m literally in shock and I have no clue wtf is going on and I take the gun and sit in the chair and I fucking waited in the dark house of a man I hardly knew while he went to get help as the car alarm keeps turning off and on and his dog is howling at me. Mind you, I’ve held a small handgun once in my life. I don’t know how to handle a gun. And lo and behold I’m holding a fucking rifle???!! It felt like hours. I felt so helpless and scared. I was so terrified those men would try to get into the house since they had my dates keyring. Anyway, he was successful in calling 911 and he returns. The police were there in like no time at all. It was honestly surprising how fast they arrived. It was like 5-10 minutes tops. The car eventually stopped beeping. I have no clue why. Anyway, the police were very thorough. They had a dog that sniffed around trying to find our belongings. They took our details and that was pretty much it. Then it occurred to my date that we could track our iPhones. So we started tracking them on his laptop and his was actively moving. We called the police and told them that we know where his phone is. They said they can’t do anything. So he’s like well I’m going to get it. For some reason I agreed to go with him?? Wtf. When I look back on that I’m like why did I do that?! I guess shock and scared to go home and being alone. So we track the phone and we actually found it in the middle of the road about 10 minutes away. We never found my stuff. We got back to his place and then I went home. We went on a second date even though I didn’t really want to. I kinda felt like I should though because of the shared trauma and to try to heal. We went to a Mexican restaurant. He remarked “why can’t the server speak better English?!” I never saw him again after that. End of story.

[@maddiexsaurus]

LMAO this was a rollercoaster

[@AYVYN]

This is either completely real or you’re a fantastic writer because what the fuk.

[@andreaamador8833]

This is why i love reading the comments, cause damn

[@sunsetlover5987]

You should write a book

[@willamccartney]

jesus fuck dude i’m glad you’re okay

[@Yo-yz2qv]

i genuinely respect the work grind. im so glad i can watch a new cody ko video every time I eat dinner

[@emilymvelez]

never had lunch when cody uploads, this is my first lunch viewing. eating a birria quesadilla with consume and yucca. 10/10 lunch today.

[@Erandy_]

Mexicans unite

[@claudiaarbona9984]

Jaden Smith once said: Heart is broken, heart is broken Gettin' green, gettin' green Man I'm artichokin', man I'm artichokin' I can't breath that's the art of chokin' That's the, that's the art of chokin'

[@samuraisyd7090]

The T-Rex from Jurassic Park is a female. “Like a father to me” man obviously didn’t watch the movie.

[@izzaanimates9041]

Even if he said, “The T-Rex was like a mother to me”, that still wouldn’t make the situation any better 😭😭😭

[@mikastone764]

I literally said while watching that part “except it’s a female!” I’m not even a huge fan of the series but even I know all the dinosaurs, except that indorapter (I think) were female. Like how do you fuck up a reference you had permanently inked into your skin that bad lol. But him saying “like a mother to me” would indeed not be much better. It’s weird either way.

[@GamingintheAM0801]

I was about to comment the same thing.

[@WilliamGuterman]

@@izzaanimates9041 hello, i have a hot new song for you to listen to called "scoot the doo". its a remastered track from The Guterman Band, 1979. I know you will enjoy it. Please thank you.

[@WilliamGuterman]

i am sure i am the only one with the scoot the doo trademark son@@GamingintheAM0801

[@chromeswildcat]

One time I went on a date with a guy who had a glass eye (highlight of my dating career, honestly) and I asked him if we could go see a movie. The one I wanted to see… was 3D. And I kept going on about how amazing the 3D effects were. I’m just here 🙋🏼‍♀️ to say I’m the problem.

[@msjkramey]

Did you know about his eye when you suggested that?

[@chromeswildcat]

@@msjkramey …… yes 😬

[@MoonWalkerTexsRanger]

« I’m the problem » At least you are aware of that! Lol

[@jmz2144]

Wouldn't 3D effects still work with 1 eye?

[@msjkramey]

@@jmz2144 no. They work by offsetting two images at slightly different camera angles to imitate the space between your eyes. The glasses make it so each eye only sees one of those two pictures and your brain combines them to create a 3D image. Maybe it could look like a regular movie with the glasses on though? I'm not sure

[@sporadic001]

i saw a post earlier of a dating app bio being like "looking for someone to go to couples counseling with and pretend to be married and see how long it takes them to notice that sounds fun af

[@solarfanwings7330]

Yesssss lol

[@D44RK_Iced_Yogs]

The fact Cody didn’t bat an eye at 100 HARD SHELL TACOS is INSANE to me. First off, HARD SHELL?! That’s just a mess in itself let alone 100 of them. Secondly, you got to Taco Bell and don’t get a drink with it?! Thirdly, eating that many with two other people is wild to me. Not to mention how this LEGEND of a man managed to have a complete stranger pay for 100 tacos! That itself is the most insane part. I don’t know if this story is completely true but it’s so wild I can’t help but laugh.

[@MilesToGoGo]

I’m just proud of her for taking the tacos with her when she left 😂

[@KateCarew]

It’s true. Elyse isn’t a liar. The dude evidently did this to other people in the same town in California. 😂 What a doofus. She explains it on her channel, and it made the news I think (?) Anyhow, other people stepped forward and corroborated.

[@coincidence424jolicoeur3]

Thanks for the video Otis’s dad!

[@msjkramey]

That's so weird

[@TheLoyalShinobi.]

Frustration with videos being fake is so real 😭😭

[@MrHdog111]

Woohooo! It’s lunch time people!

[@austincruz4956]

Hell yeah brother

[@jebsies]

LETS FEAST

[@horsenberg6175]

If the second one was real I’d be genuinely terrified in her position

[@brettstout-rojas5833]

That story about the comedy show could absolutely be an "I Think You Should Leave" sketch.

[@followingfinley2268]

Worst date…I use to date a guy who was more of the shy type, which I totally get because im kinda shy too. Well we were on the third maybe fourth date and we had an hour drive. I decided I would try to talk more to keep a conversation going the whole ride. I started talking about movies that I knew we both liked so it would be easy to keep a conversation. I would always try to leave my sentence open ended so that he could respond easily. Every single time I would stop talking to give him time to respond he would only respond with either “okay” “yes” “cool” “I know” or just something very short. This went on for the whole hour ride there and back. I should have called it off after that but I ended up dating him for like 3 months after that and almost every date not much was said. Most awkward dates of my life

[@TAYI0R1]

Tiny Cody cracks me up every time

[@madztv4]

cody is the only youtuber i watch that says love you before he leaves like yeah we just had a great time, what the hell i love you too man

[@thedirtyjejunum]

“The T that Rexed up” had me fully debilitated for like five minutes. That was just so good

[@romiiaa01]

same 😂😂

[@TVHorrorArt]

Met this cute guy at a convention where I was selling prints of my art; he came up, we talked for a bit, and he even bought three prints! We had exchanged info, and not too long after that he reached out and we made a date! We decided to see a movie and walk around the mall some, and that’s when I found out he mansplained EVERYTHING; he even explained to me that a cooking book was a book used for cooking 😀 needless to say I wanted the date to end asap, and made up some excuse that I needed to go back home. For some reason I decided we should plan for another date, and we decided to plan to go to an amusement park that’s like 20 minutes away from my house. He suggested that we get an Airbnb for the night…for a place that was 20 minutes away…I decided I didn’t want to be on dateline and broke things off. The only good thing that came out of this whole thing was I found one singular copy of DOOM Eternal for the PlayStation when we were at the mall so woohoo!!

[@icu3869]

Oh, come on - did you REALLY know a cookbook was a book used for cooking? Or did he teach you that, and you’re pretending you knew all along? Lol - it’s so infuriating when someone is that dumb and thinks we’re even dumber! AAARGGHHH!!!

[@courtneylust]

how the HELL did he manage to explain cookbooks?😭😭

[@TVHorrorArt]

@@courtneylust he was like “they have pages filled with recipes that you can use to make food” and I was like “reALly you dOn’t sAy?!”

[@courtneylust]

@@TVHorrorArt wow he’s so smart!!!😍you should be grateful that an intelligent specimen like him taught you how to use a cookbook!!

[@TVHorrorArt]

@@courtneylust I am forever grateful! I was hoping he could teach me how to read but alas 😪

[@Winador13]

My worst first date was in college. The dude seemed cool at first, he was older, artistic, the kinda guy who wore a scarf (looking back on it now such a douche lol). We went for coffee and he had brought his sketchbook. He proceeded to show me each and every individual drawing and ask for my thoughts- “what do you think this one means?” I honestly didn’t know but I would give my honest interpretation of his artwork and then he’d proceed to go “WRONG” and tell me anyway. That was just the icing on the cake… the rest of the date was essentially him giving extremely intimate details of his private life like his suicide attempt, his childhood trauma, etc, which left me unsure how to react (he was a total stranger) and also an attempt to kiss me multiple times. I told him I’m not a fan of PDA as a way to get him to stop trying to kiss me. The second we were what he deemed in a private space he sloppily made out with me for the worst 5 seconds of my life. Lots of saliva. Anyway, there was no second date but he continued to text me random and disturbing things after I had told him I wasn’t interested in seeing him further. Accidentally ran into him at a coffee shop like a year later and he sat next to me to talk while I was trying to work which was extremely annoying. He even told me some stories of some crazy hot chicks he had slept with since our date. Not sure if he was trying to make me jealous or what but dude was relentless.

[@salem2584]

as a simple rule, the person who initiated the date should pay. if you choose the idea and location, you should be able to expect the price tag. and you can easily notice which person is putting more effort into the relationship by who's planning and paying for most of the dates.

[@FirstnameLastname-gr5kb]

I think inviting someone somewhere always means inviting them in the sense of paying, but there are also ways to make sure everyone knows beforehand that you wanna split the bill, then that's fine too. And I'd only invite or be invited sometimes if I went on dates, I do think just paying for your own meal (if both people are equally well off financially) makes sense. Or taking turns maybe if you usually take equally expensive things.

[@deliciousnatalicious]

@@ethanconn2106 I agree with this. Plus as a straight woman, there’s no underlying mentality that you “owe” the guy anything. It’s important to be direct beforehand though. Say when the person suggesting the date has picked something out of your price range and let them decide how to proceed. Or a simple “I’ll get the tickets, you get the drinks”. That’s what my husband and I did on our first date.

[@alexwyatt2911]

I agree. The rule of thumb is if you ask someone on a date, you pay. Of course, something else can be worked out but it should be done before hand.

[@alexwyatt2911]

@@ethanconn2106 Wait, “suffer”?

[@caseyw.6550]

THANK YOU. Never mind the fact that women usually invest more time and money preparing for the date.

[@Bokchtroy]

18:38 “Maybe you got to just like foken get up and take a shit on the table or something.” -Cody 2024

[@Lgg130]

Funny cody mentioned tim Robinson in one scenario when he'd be PERFECT to reenact the other story of the 4 roasts in a row guy crying. I can even see him leaving with girl sobbing completely in shambles, says goodbye to her on the cab, puts his copyright tim robinson mean face, turns to the club and proceeds to do exactly what cody imagined.