YOUR MOTHER IN LAW SHOWS UP ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY CRUISE

YOUR MOTHER IN LAW SHOWS UP ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY CRUISE
A wife took to redit to see if she was wrong about being upset when her mother in law surprised the couple by showing up on their Anniversary cruise without warning.
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[@edythemullins]

I believe it was Ann Landers who once said in a column: "if you are uninvited and unexpected, you are also unwelcome". That's one manipulative MIL.

[@nancysabourin7297]

I think the Mother in law should have asked her if it was ok to join. Rather rude to just show up.

[@lightwarrior432]

My thoughts exactly! Super RUDE OF HER!!!

[@suave-rider]

it's a fate worse than terminal cancer

[@electrictroy2010]

@suave-rider MY mom will always love me more than my wife. Even if I’m poor & laidoff mom will be there (but 80% of wives will bail via divorce) .

[@rubystreet4366]

I agree. Why would she think it would be a wonderful surprise. Unless she is dumb, she knew exactly what she was doing

[@user-ff3ow9ym5t]

There are more problems than we are told.

[@jonwilliam5465]

I know this to be true!!!! Run!!!

[@johnathanmcfadden8978]

Lol I bet the Father in-law was not about it and pretended to not be well to avoid whatever drama he could with his wife.

[@judycohentx]

Mother-in-law was 100% wrong.

[@T2s00]

Husband's response is troubling. He doesnt seem to care about his wife's feelings. Unless the in laws were invited all the other bs -how long he hadnt seen them etc. is irrelevant. It wasn't cool for them to just show up. I would be seriously pissed off.

[@electrictroy2010]

My mom will always love me more than my wife. Even if I’m poor & laidoff, mom will be there (but 80% of wives will file for divorce). No loyalty .

[@cynthiareifsnider5794]

Well, I think the wife should tell the husband he needs to plan an anniversary trip since the one she planned was interrupted by his parents and he spent all his time with his mother instead of his wife. As a mother, she should have let her son and daughter-in-law have some alone time.

[@electrictroy2010]

Ye women are so catty (like high schoolers that never grew up). You want to steal the husband from his mom & not share him. Selfish .

[@cindyonyoutube]

There are lots more problems here than just showing up unannounced for the cruise.

[@eminiarvii]

I am a mother in law and i would not presume to show up on a cruise that was planned for the 2 of them…not good.. The MIL knew it would not go over well. Thats why she kept it quiet

[@TSKseattle]

The fact that the MiL didn't say anything means she doesn't belong there. The wife should have spent the cruise doing HER own thing, let mama's boy enjoy his time with mom.

[@tonyasalas]

life is short and memories are far fewer in between. people so busy now. but, after my breast cancer dx in oct, we realized we wanted more time with whoever. parents, ours deceased, kids/grandkids/friends and neighbors. we had cruise booked on firenze in may 25, our girls found out while taking care of me with hubby, and they did ask. can we go with so we can spend more time with you momma? of course we said yes and they got rooms down the hall. not tooooo close. they realized when i got sick, things changed. little things are important and not to get tooooo worked up. we all need more love and time. and we are praying after all tests/biopsies/surgery, that we do have much more time. we cherish our time and take tooooo many pics...you can always book another trip and try again.

[@patricialong61]

They need to understand that mamma and daddy aren't going to be around forever,so book a another cruise and don't announce it till the very last minute, like as you are boarding.

[@teresajohnson7698]

This was something the daughter in law booked for an anniversary so not something parents should show up for. Definitely if someone is sick, especially a parent and your children want to spend that time with you. I'd love if my son and his wife would join us on vacation, but we would not be welcomed to just spring it on either of them on a special trip. Doesn't sound like grandkids were involved. I think this mama was in the wrong no matter if she thought he intentions were good or not.

[@bradpeterson5299]

I would be pissed. My wife would be furious. This is something to be agreed upon in advance

[@deemu7606]

Run, girl, run. He's a mommas boy. These are the early signs, Know them when you see them. I am now 20 years in, and I regretted when I didn't take action to leave the mommas boy behind. Now I have 2 kids and stuck as I have no outside support to help me leave. Trust me, he will always choose his mom and it will become quite evident when the disrespect starts. She might start dropping her disrespectful remarks here and there and your husband will choose not to say anything, in fact, he will tell you you're being melodramatic and overreacting. Good luck and savevyiurself while you still can.

[@electrictroy2010]

Ye women are so catty (like high schoolers that never grew up). You want to steal the husband from his mom & not share him. Selfish .

[@longlist45]

I think Ernie K Doe summed it up perfectly with his 1961 Hit Song " Mother In Law "

[@constanceworden487]

It would depend on a few factors… If we had small children and I took the time to arrange for their care so we could have quality, uninterrupted time together, I would be upset. If the mil waited until we were on the ship & we had a strained relationship, I would be upset. Popping by unannounced while you were in the neighborhood is fine, doing that when we are on a birthday/anniversary vacation is another.

[@valeriemcdonald440]

I highly doubt that the husband did not know.

[@electrictroy2010]

Ye women are so catty (like high schoolers that never grew up). You want to steal the husband from his mom & not share him. Selfish .

[@SandraGrant-c4y]

I would and did lovingly take my mother in law (and father in law)on important trips. Our engagement cruise, our honeymoon cruise, and we just returned on Monday from our 5 year anniversary cruise. My mother in law passed on Fri Morning. I’m so very glad we did ALL those special times together. There truly is too much discontent in this world. Love your parents and in laws. Life really is too short

[@jessiebass8236]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's just my MIL now, my FIL Passed years ago so she travels with us some!

[@electrictroy2010]

Ye are far more mature than the other women who want to steal their husband from his mom & not share him. They are childish & selfish .

[@sarahchungwithanaccent3388]

The mother-in-law should learn to let go as she is more mature. The anniversary is very important for the couple. They need time to grow together. Mother-in-law can join next time, but always ask first to show respect and boundary

[@michelleorkin7307]

The first cruise we ever booked my in-laws decided to join us. We had a great time together. We traveled together several times over the years. Sometimes my bonus mom and I cruised without the husbands. She was so much fun to do things with. I wish that I could have the same relationship with my daughter in law. She gets seasick and won’t go on a cruise

[@susanwestfall2051]

I would have been fine with it. I got along great with my in-laws, and my MIL was the sweetest lady you could imagine. I was not possessive of my husband and he was an only child so I could understand why his parents would want to spend time with us. Both of my in-laws and my husband are gone now, and I would love to be able to go on a cruise with them all. But I know I am in the minority.

[@electrictroy2010]

You are far more mature than the other women who want to steal their husband from his mom. They are childish & selfish .

[@vickiegreer7698]

❤❤ I would have loved my mother in law be on the Ship with us. I loved her and she loved me. We never had any problems at all. I couldn't ask for a better mother in law than her.

[@jessiebass8236]

I totally understand! My MIL travels often with my husband, our 18 year old child , we even do family vacations with my parents and my MIL. everyone gets along!

[@electrictroy2010]

You are far more mature than the other women who want to steal their husband from his mom. They are childish & selfish .

[@lindadumas268]

I feel sorry for them all!!!! Nobody wins

[@cathycroteau1797]

I think that the mother in law should of asked before booking the cruise . We used to sail with my husbands parents and enjoyed it , in the ports we did seperate things we would meet for meals on the ship and hangout on the ship.

[@electrictroy2010]

*should HAVE (not of). MY mom will always love me more than my wife. Even if I’m poor & laidoff mom will be there (but 80% of wives will bail via divorce) .

[@TheBORG580]

If the mother-in-law husband was not feeling good, maybe she should’ve spent time with him instead of following around her grown son on his anniversary cruise with his wife.Newsflash people he told her what cruise they were going to be on.

[@ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO00]

Her F-I-L wasn't sick. He knew the M-I-L was intruding but he probably didn't want to fight with his wife so he did what any considerate man would do.........he went along with his wife but distanced himself from everyone else as a matter of respect.

[@TrippinWithKenny]

When my wife and I got married, we were both in the Army, stationed in Hawaii. We took a couple of weeks off for a "Honeymoon." Since we didn't have a bunch of leave time saved up, my wife's family came out at the same time. So we basically spent our honeymoon with my in-laws and both of my wife's sisters. Actually it wasn't a bad time (and her parents picked up a lot of the expenses, so big plus there). Sometimes you just have to deal with it. That said, the MiL should have checked first.

[@sundancersbellydance7252]

I bet her son knew darn well they were going.

[@sandym4875]

I certainly hope that I would never do that to my son! Very sad to surprise them like them. The dad might not have been sick. He just didn't want to ruin their daughter-in-law's trip.

[@judymorris8749]

I would be upset

[@electrictroy2010]

Ye women are so catty (like high schoolers that never grew up). You want to steal the husband from his mom & not share him. Selfish .

[@user-lj1zs3wl5l]

I WOULD BE FURIOUS 😡😠🤬😡😠🤬

[@kevinp1904]

Keep up the good work!

[@sallieabaker3620]

Not sure we have all the info on the MIL story. Don, you should take your Galveston beach walk over to the free ferry. They have a walk-on option. You may be lucky enough to see the dolphins that live in the area.

[@randa200771]

We used to take my mum with us on our cruises until she started to go downhill with vascular dementia. I think she was 92 when she took her last one with us from the uk to Mexico. As for my wife's parents, well we have been trying for years to get them to come on a cruise with us but they just flatly refuse saying they won't like it. We are both seasoned cruisers now with hundreds of days at sea and despite our best efforts they just won't have it.

[@patriciawillig8459]

Just smile Don. Safer that way.

[@Ravenclaw0536]

That could have been me before my narcissistic MIL cut us out of her life 8 years ago except she was afraid to go on a cruise.

[@dianneb9754]

Depends on their circumstances.

[@csh43166]

"Overreacting??" I think not... Having said that, I love my MIL, and she's 90 years old. If she was able to join us, I'd have a hard time being angry about it.

[@Girasole5849]

Oh that sounds like a rough family dynamic. Gotta feel for the wife in this situation.

[@robynstein8258]

I would loose my mind

[@Edera7795]

My first question is how di she find out which ship. Service members usually get 30 days. That leaves 21 days he is home. Mum was very, very, very wrong. My MIL hated me, I would find the next plane home and then a great divorce lawyer

[@electrictroy2010]

Divorce??? Not surprising. MY mom will always love me more than my wife. Even if I’m poor & laidoff mom will be there (but 80% of wives will bail via divorce) .

[@patrobison1436]

Yes I would be ups😊

[@QueenKayKay47]

I feel sorry for the wife... I think she is in for a rough road!

[@nanwilkin8502]

We have run into friends on the same cruise before, and we are not fans...all of a sudden it turns into a crazy scheduling nightmare.

[@clintonlheureux5448]

If it was my in laws I’d be happy! I loved my mother in law and I miss her every day.

[@pamkoch187]

I have had the same thing happen to me. I made concessions at times and then still did things separately because it was our vacation.

[@phillipcurrey6961]

The surprise was tacky. Mom should have cleared it with wife. But cherish the time you have with your folks. It's limited.

[@janicewestcott9844]

Mother in law should have asked especially since it was an anniversary cruise.

[@bernievandewalker1420]

Mother-in-law is a passenger just the same as anyone else. They can still do the things they wish to do.

[@AndreaKelly-o4x]

OMG! I would NEVER impose myself onto my daughter in law like that (and we get along great)

[@judydale9661]

I am a mother in law and I would NEVER dream of doing something like that!!!!!

[@FrankMann-wn4pt]

I would be pissed!!! The options would be; do stuff with them without me, or do stuff with me without them.

[@aeroAdvocate]

I would have told the husband/wife to either get rid of her, or I'll disembark and fly home. Something tells me he was in on this. UNACCEPTABLE!

[@PrepperPotpourri]

I think it is different because it was her husband's birthday -- not just their anniversary. His parents probably wanted to surprise their son for his birthday.

[@sharonmcmickens9853]

Hi Don

[@yesterdayseyes]

Have a friend who is marrying a woman who doesn't like him. They are going on a wedding cruise, she has already told him she plans to spend "every single minute" with her sons and parents. She gets upset when he suggests they spend 2 excursions together. On their wedding/ honeymoon cruise! I wish he wasn't so desperate that he's marrying a woman who doesn't even want to spend time with him on their honeymoon.

[@YeahYeahBeebisI]

what.... what does your friend see in their future with her? sounds like they are a big payday to her...

[@yesterdayseyes]

​@YeahYeahBeebisI he's lonely and desperate. He is just a pay check, cook and maid to her.

[@jamiesuejeffery]

I live in Reno, Nevada, USA. (On behalf of all people who live in the U.S., I apologize. I had absolutely nothing to do with this mess!). I am divorced once and widowed once. My ex, who is the mother of my children, her mother and I have never gotten along well. My widowed wife’s mother…well, we only talked about two times. She seems very nice. On to the story: There is a long story on why I live with my mother now. (It is kind of a sad story.) Since we live in Reno, mom wants to hit her favorite casino (we don’t gamble) for the spa so she can get a full spa treatment. Me, I hate anyone touching my feet. So I told her last week that when she makes an appointment for the spa (and has free drinks and an exclusive pool) that she can do that. I will just sit in the sports book, watch KZbin on their free internet, have a couple of adult beverages, and then meet up for supper in the 4.5 star steakhouse. She does her thing, I do my thing. It would drive me absolutely nuts to have my MIL tagging along.

[@laurafranco2139]

This happened to me. We boarded and saws in-laws on the ship 🚢. They wanted to surprise us. Our case was different bc I get along with in-laws. Also we did a few activities together but mostly did our own thing.

[@motel1029]

You have to do what we do and not tell them!! I have sisters in law who would do this all of the time!! His mother didn't tell them!!

[@ShaeShae73]

Rude! If it was a regular vacation maybe but not my anniversary 😮

[@lindadumas268]

The next time she'll keep her plans to herself that no one could intro😢

[@odettelobao2081]

If she asked and was told no that might have been worse, but it definitely depends on the two ladies relationship 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@patricialong61]

Sorry to say,but I guess I was fortunate enough I didn't have a MIL,his mother got killed in a car accident when he was 2,and he didn't have a MIL cause my mother died when I was 15.

[@bobeeshc2166]

I have a dad that would do that, and has joked many times how funny it would be to be sitting in the lobby when we embark on the ship. We do not tell him we have a cruise booked untill we see it's sold out even then, we wait as long as possible. When we do finally break the news we have it booked, we are very dodgy on the port, date, and ship name as long as possible. He would then choose all the activates and take me away from my family 95% of the trip then. We have traveled with him before, and he does not understand I want time with my wife.

[@oddsNsodsTube]

My mother in-law was on my honeymoon cruise, which was my first ever cruise in 1989 😂 And she's been on many other cruises since with us 😁

[@peggydahl6232]

I am a mum and MIL and would never just show up.

[@richardracette-w6w]

Funny thing. Thanks

[@timwoody3835]

Why couldn’t mom schedule a vacation at her son’s home city after the cruise? She gets to spend time with her son, son and wife get to strengthen their connection and mother-in-law gets a chance to bond with daughter-in-law in a more healthy way.

[@nancygrimshaw8154]

I think MIL should have told them her intent. Not finding out until on board, I think husband and wife should have discussed the situation and planned to do what they wanted and only include in laws when they chose to include them. However in my family my husband says he would have been happy to have his MIL along and I feel the same if my in-laws, but not all families get along and this seems to be the case in this situation.

[@terrifromm5085]

This sounds like something my ex mother-in-law I would’ve pulled. If I were the wife, this will be the absolute last anniversary I ever celebrated with my husband. That mother-in-law has a lot of nerve. How selfish and underhanded. Maybe this is why the wife doesn’t like her.

[@kathycurry8890]

Now the wife needs to book something, only tell hubby the dates to take off time from work and then surprise him with were they are going

[@joannmay-anthony1076]

The in-laws should not have been there.

[@connietinney5418]

You said it Don…. The mother in-law and the daughter in-law, did not get along!!! The MiL I’m sure knew that she wasn’t welcome. And, likely didn’t care what her DiL thought. I’m on the side of the wife!!

[@expressivecanvas]

The FIL clearly was not happy about his wife's plans to inject herself into her son's anniversary trip. He wasn't sick. He was embarrassed by what his wife did to this poor couple and knew they were injecting themselves into what was supposed to be a private anniversary cruise. The FIL is likely sick of the MIL's antics and sick hold on her son. The DIL/wife should have spoken up on the cruise, immediately, and left the cruise immediately if the MIL refused to leave. What the MIL did was completely wrong and a VERY valid reason to cut her out of the family. Life is far too short to accept being disrespected in this manner. Unfortunately, the damage is done and this couple is likely headed for divorce whether the DIL realizes it yet or not... which means the MIL probably gets her way. Anyone who thinks this was an innocent mistake is delusional. The MIL has a plan.

[@VictoriaStone-y2t]

Ships are large enough I'm sure they can share each other's company

[@barbschoonerman9545]

I would have been livid!

[@ellennewth6305]

In general, with Mom on board, the cruise turns into a "family" vacation instead of a "romantic" getaway. NO IN-LAWS on Anniversary sailings!!!

[@JaniceGregory-y2b]

There would not have been a problem had I been told before hand and they didn't do everything together.

[@sherrydiener8688]

Hi Don, They should have not booked. They didn't get asked.

[@maysmith4906]

I have great parents-in-law! :)

[@QueenKayKay47]

I did too, but I would not want them on my anniversary vacation! 😖

[@maysmith4906]

@@QueenKayKay47 Mine would never do this. :)

[@johnstoutley7421]

My wife and I are going on our 25th Anniversary Cruise next January, and I know my mother, mother-in-law, father, and father-in law won't show up, because they've all passed away years ago. But if I was 40 years younger, and that happened without them asking permission to join us, I may have been a little disappointed, as I would want to spend quality time on this special cruise with my wife. Just my thoughts.!!! Hope you're having a good time in Galveston, Don.

[@kristenkroes9649]

We’ve had friends do that to us in our anniversary trip. Probably harder with family though.

[@CPO-Snarky]

I think that MIL was also present during the couple’s honeymoon trip.

[@tschaible2339]

Well if they were uninvited, no good. I have planned cruising with extended family and just my wife and I. Would not deviate from that plan without mutual agreement.

[@jkszootales828]

I think there needed to be a balance. She booked the cruise for their anniversary so they needed some time together. I do also think spending time with the mother in law was important because he’s in the service and anything can happen.

[@DebMartin-r2j]

Good on the father inlaw. Hid away and left em to it.😅

[@Lynn-kh5rs]

Several things here & to clarify where I'm coming from hubby & I are both Vets. 1. Yeah, I'd be pissed but I would suck it up (to a point) IF we didn't live either in the same city or reasonably nearby. 2. Depending on the length of the cruise, say 5 or more days; I would insist hubby & I had some separate times ALONE. Be it excursions or something else. 3. Yeah, MIL overstepped the mark by being the unexpected 3rd wheel and not warning anyone. She knew what she was doing. 4. I am disappointed in wife's hubby. Yes, he can be glad to see his mom but telling his wife she was over reacting is out of line. He should have told mom that they can spend SOME time together but NOT the entire trip. Wife & mommy may not have liked the compromise but that's life. Especially for military personnel. 5. I get along well with my MIL; she's knows I'll not put up with any nonsense. But to plan a birthday/anniversary trip and not have any private, special time with hubby? Oh HELL NO!

[@lindakantner9501]

OMG😂 Moma should have stayed home unless she was invited.

[@mmw55122]

"Oh gee, I think that i am not feeling very well. Maybe it is something catchy. I do not know, but I certainly do not want you to catch anything from me. Please, Mom and Hubs, go ahead with your plans, and I will join you if/when I feel better." Then, if they happen to see you out and about, or at meals "pertinent reasons" may be made at those times.

[@angie-whateverfloatsyourboat]

The MIL was wrong for not asking first, and interrupting their anniversary cruise.

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[@jeep146]

The husband would have told them about the trip. I would not doubt that he even invited them. He just did not want to tell his wife since he knew how she would react. I cannot blame her. Unless the mother in law is a control freak she was invited despite what he says.

[@margaretsweeney6468]

On our first Valentine's day after we got married my husband bought a two pound box of chocolates. We have now been married for59 years.

[@evelyngrammar]

It's unfortunate that this woman thought it was better to ask the world about this instead of saying something to her husband and her MIL during the cruise. I loved my MIL and was happy to spend time with her. Seems like this woman does not feel the same. Still, if one doesn't communicate their wishes and, instead, goes to Reddit, that's a problem.

[@teresaharris1832]

Sounds like she did say something to her husband. He blew her off and said she was making too big of a deal about it.

[@tjmayberry417]

In my particular case I'll just say that if my MIL showed up unannounced on our cruise (special occasion or not), I'd start evaluating whether or not I wanted to abandon ship.

[@Dee.C]

If that happened to me I would get off the ship and tell my husband have a nice cruise with your mother.

[@ladycross80]

This happened to me last year but it was my cousin. From now on I don’t tell any about our vacation plans.

[@davidlodato9276]

I wonder if the husband knew all along that his parents were going to be on the cruise. This would not be a wonderful surprise. I bet the mother in law is quite intrusive, if not controlling all of the time.

[@govols100]

That dude probably caught hell when they got home. Hopefully he didn't suggest or invite the parents to come along knowing it was an anniversary cruise.

[@joancox2947]

My in-laws are great on both sides . However there is a time and place for them. If we are planning a family vacation, sure they are invited. If it’s a vacation for just us then they are not. If the showed up unexpectedly, by coincidence, then we will do some things together, but we need our space. Each party should understand that.

[@pattappurple]

I would be livid with the mother in law especially as she tagged along all the time. I’d also be upset with my husband.