Your Narc parent is never going to truly change.

[@mandy5478]

Rejection, shame, and blame. My birth mother wrote the handbook all while being a childhood development expert.

[@dapper-o4l]

I am so sorry. For a person who should know better, she abused you. It can’t be any worse than that. I hope you found peace and happiness for yourself. I learnt to love myself, ok, it took 20 years, but I did it! God bless you amazing person.

[@violetniemiec1602]

My situation isn't super similar, but my mom was a childbirth educator since u was 7. She taught parents how to care for kids but couldn't care for me. The audhd trans child they had first. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. I hope you can heal from it with support and the people around you.

[@rheanelken2918]

Oh my gawd. I sometimes feel like my situation is rare because my parents are locally known, but this - this here?! - talk about absolute devastation. Unreal levels of disgusting.

[@DawnGreen-wn4hr]

@@violetniemiec1602mine was a geriatric nurse! 😢

[@dharmadharma3960]

​@@DawnGreen-wn4hrmines a nurse!

[@maryrichardson6029]

Started my healing journey at 63. I'm doing good

[@monabarber2335]

I’m so happy to hear that , I started at 60 and so am I ! I had to go no contact!

[@CharlesBukowski-m1o]

Same here at 51

[@brekareymar]

It literally broke my heart when my last therapist told me that, my mom is never going to change because she never saw a problem, even when it nearly took my life from a deep depression years ago. She is always soooo about herself, everything is, from her goods, her pain, no one is allowed to discuss the fact that she is the one that was the most pained in the entire family. She loves to have control over all things and people, she starts with buying stuff and when you least realize it, you depend on her. And when she faces rejection of not wishing to go her way or things don't happen like she wished, her anger comes out. I used to be slapped every time she was stressed and hit when she was angry. It was horrible. I already got used to be in a certain posture so that her hits wouldn't hurt too much, or to protect the side of my ribs that I got hurt in the past from a fall injury at school, which she would conveniently forget in her anger attacks. I never thought I would get out of that cycle because even when I cried, tried to fight, to talk, to reason with her, to understand her, nothing ever worked. 2 weeks after it, she would restart the acting again and again and again. But she always pressured me to go to therapy and get my attitude and depression "fixed" because how dare I be unhappy if I have everything in life? It's been some months since I got an opportunity for a scholarship in another country, I'm doing everything in my power to get it and finally break free, until I put an ocean between us, I think I'll can finally start my true healing journey and achieve my freedom, all for the little girl that tried to take her life at 14 and sh till 18. That girl who grew up in such a hurricane, and now is 22 walking towards a future she never dreamed of when she was told she was never strong enough, or smart enough to do so.

[@heavensong7]

Hang in there I know it's hard but Jesus is the only one that can save us. Please don't ever take your life over a narcissistic evil parent and yes they are giving into evil it's literally spiritual warfare. The devil and his legion of demons roam the earth seeking whom they may devour. I pray you will find Jesus. There is much to learn in this life and I still am. God bless you!

[@suredid9970]

God is watching you so Stay focused on that scholarship and finally live the life you deserve!!

[@happy-g7901]

The world works in mysterious ways to help us. Good luck with your scholarship. It’s a new start to also cut loose and create freedom. Don’t let anyone stop you from achieving this dream ❤

[@rebekahsteeper]

I’m 35 now and I’m here to tell you God has honored my decision back when I was 22 to start cutting out my toxic parents. He has provided miracle after miracle and chance after chance for me to be happy and well and thriving. I look better than I did at 17 as a result of loving myself first and just caring for the people around me in my immediate community. I’ve overcome two toxic marriages and had my child taken from my from a narc ex husband. I just want to encourage you that you are on the right path doing AMAZING God will support you honor you dignify you develop you and give you the most beautiful life as you take steps of faith to take care of who he made you be. Go girl. You have people out here who have gone through are going through it who support you energetically. God bless. ❤

[@H33t3Speaks]

Your head follows your shoulders. All the power to you and go forth in healing but know that there is no geographic cure for complex trauma or any sufficiently adverse experience. Not saying it can’t help tremendously, but its not an eraser.

[@pastamunchr]

I feel this all the time and right now I’m seeking help and I don’t know what to do

[@trayseebee2302]

My friend was found dead in her apartment recently. I was devastated. I messaged my narcissist mum, and silence... she then sent me some paperwork she wanted me to sort for her a few days later. Then a few days later, more. No how are you... nothing. So I have gone silent on her. She's now messaging me asking why I'm not calling her. I'm still silent.

[@jeannes.356]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sending you a big hug. I hope you are able to get the support you need elsewhere. have a similar mom. See Matt Fraser for loss, see Les Carter for narc help.

[@yasminagomez8969]

Sorry for your loss

[@trayseebee2302]

@@yasminagomez8969 ❤

[@Holden-C.]

Sorry for your loss

[@trayseebee2302]

@@Holden-C. Very kind of you. Thank you!

[@SweetUniverse]

It's true. My mother lived to 75 and never changed. In fact, she got worse. I always hoped that we would have a "normal" relationship at some point. It never happened. It was all about her and she didn't like me. In fact, she didn't like anyone. Except men she couldn't have.

[@NellyWash-r3y]

My mom got mad at me 2 weeks ago and I decided I'm just done. Then she came next door to my home going off saying your acting like I'm not even your mom. Then proceeds to call me grimey for not caring that shes mad. Then today she comes over and says I'm not mad at you. I was like ok because she doesn't realize the last disrespect was the last straw. I want nothing to do with my mom and that's killing me internally. I wish I had a good mom but I never did.

[@SweetUniverse]

Same. I can't even imagine what a good mother is.

[@shalenawhite]

I hear you. I feel the same.

[@mariannekoroleva6495]

The best thing about narcissists is that when you are with a narc you are always without him/it. Thank You!!👍💯%!!🕊️🌈⚓💚!!

[@earthelucidator]

This is some of the rawest truth that even most scapegoats wont be able to accept to their own detriment. I do understand how hard it is to accept how horrible so called "loved ones" really are

[@DawnGreen-wn4hr]

By the time you wake up to it, you’ve wasted so many years.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

😢😢😢 she’s guilting me that I don’t want to see her, but it’s not that I don’t want to seeeee her.. I don’t want to feel the way she makes me feel all of the time.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I don’t even want to text her anymore

[@IAMPERFECTHEALTH]

This applies to how partners feel too. Maybe those who have had narc parents and find themselves reliving their childhoods…

[@JamesBolin-q3u]

That's fucked up i would never treat nobody like that especially my children

[@cristinalz9395]

Narcissist do!

[@Corina-dq2my]

Most parents with NPD don't care if you love them. They do not love their own child or children in fact. They aren't the type of person who thinks about how the relationship is doing. They aren't going to ask for the child to call them because they're worried, or the type of person who asks you, "How was the first day of school", ...or "how was your first day of work, today" . A narcissistic parent might, but moderate to severe NPD, no. I have lived through people diagnosed with BPD and people who have NPD, and it's not fun. The abuse is BAD. Like, even worse than regular abuse.

[@CharlesBukowski-m1o]

That's the thing! I had to go 3 months homeless and slept on the desk in my storage unit in between my last apartment in this one of 2 years. Like a fellow scapegoat pointed out to me, they didn't even ask how the rash that developed from sleeping on the desk turned out. This might sound petty, but I'm NOT even mentioning the big offenses here

[@B.E.A.T.K.I.R.A]

I’m dying and getting married and both my parents don’t want to go to my wedding because they don’t care and everything is just about them. I was dead to them long ago, even before I was…

[@MonochromaticBlues]

Smh so sorry To hear that dear

[@bornphilosopher]

It’s Heartbreaking when your parent tells you they had you for their Joy…It sounds good when you’re ignorant but, You really live for your parents Joy.

[@alphagerudo]

Start a new tradition, for Christmas, go on a solo trip far away, to Niagara Falls for example, nothing wrong with setting healthy boundaries! 👇

[@kdycruz]

It's a nightmare having narsisist family. Thanks for sharing 🙏 blessings

[@hollyjay3628]

I can’t tell if my mom really cares or if she just wants to tell me what she thinks I want to hear in the moment

[@CharlesBukowski-m1o]

The transparent mirroring--after one too many times--is just devastating at times in my middle-age

[@hermosotino]

It is undeserved, permanent emotional torture....

[@JoaniVelasquez]

My mom has treated me like that all my life, I'm a broken woman who still try to show my mom how much I love her I stay away from her because she brakes you and she will play victim treat me like garbage guilt me for everything that when wrong in her life 😢is the most disgusting relationship 💔 you can ever feel.

[@ninaromm5491]

4.30a.m. South Africa. Love your posts. They are helping me traffic these wounding, awful hours. In the morning I have to write a letter to an Institution whose venomous intent is to invisibilize me. I need to remember what I can't expect from them. Put on my armour and brilliance, ready for warfare, for dismissal. Off the hamster wheel...

[@johncummings5755]

RUN

[@Rob-fb6rw]

My mother and father were narcs. I was so incredibly lucky to meet the love of my love because she helped me with no contact, it was SO painful, I’d rather get stabbed than feel the loss of multiple loved ones, when you grieve the loss of a family, like I did. It’s all worth it, if you can see into the future, remember the future, it’s closer than you think.

[@sdilluminatigrandfounder1813]

When did they get their official diagnosis, and what was the treatment plan for their illness?

[@Rob-fb6rw]

@ I will answer honestly and talk with you here if you answer why you’ve said that exact same to 3+ people here, do you have something against labeling people with this disorder?

[@sdilluminatigrandfounder1813]

@@Rob-fb6rw Of course. I am 100% against people who are not qualified to diagnose doing exactly that. What other medical disorders do you think it is ok to diagnose people with by totally unqualified people? I am astonished that you had to ask that question, since diagnosing without being qualified is profoundly unethical, and just plain wrong. If three people are diagnosing with out licenses, OF COURSE I would say the same thing. Are you somehow impaired? How can you not know this?

[@ohana8535]

@@Rob-fb6rw What is wrong with someone calling out diagnosing people without a license? That is illegal. Do you call people the R word too? If 3 people did that, why would you think they should not call out all three?

[@Rob-fb6rw]

@@ohana8535 the r word and the narcissist word are not the same, crazy person. And it’s not illegal to call someone a narcissist, crazy person.

[@EngineeringChampion]

I knew an adult like that. Every year she thought she would finally get a Christmas gift she liked from her mom. Every year to her surprise she got the same garbage. She perpetually felt unseen and unheard. She had developed a communication style based on over exaggeration.

[@kiskakuznetsova503]

This was beautifully eloquent. You really understand and you are able to explain it like no one else. Thank you.

[@LOVEISTRUTH300]

This explains it perfectly. I'm currently learning to get off the hamster wheel. Thank you for this video.

[@texaslovelylady]

I now today know why I always felt like I didn't fit into my family of origin. Both parents and only sister are Narcissist. Sister being the combination of both parents traits. Covert and Malignant. Praying for my Nephew and Niece.

[@sdilluminatigrandfounder1813]

Who diagnosed them, and what was their treatment plan?

[@dharmadharma3960]

​@@sdilluminatigrandfounder1813doubt they got close to a therapist. They don't need it!

[@DenshaOtoko2]

My sister and I changed and grew so did everyone else. My parents didn't change.

[@Jaybird227Songbird]

Thanks Dr. Kim. What is weird is that I didn't do anything weird to take such abuse it seems. I was the one that always wanted a family reunion like other families ever since I was real little. I cared for everyone. All cousins and everyone. I think they must have did something really bad to act this distant. I really don't get them, or Oklahoma for not even telling me if I have a twin.

[@IIIRorschachIII]

I'm a stage 4b cancer survivor. When I started getting really depressed really bad because I'm always in chronic bone & nerve pain.. I told my mother that I was contemplating suicide. She told me to make sure I go outside first so I didn't dirty up the home. I decided to try to talk to my father & he said the same thing she did. They must have talked about it & she told him what to say to me. I ended up trying to kill myself afterward & then things just got worse. They had 0 care.

[@dv52528]

You are beyond strong and you are loved💕💫

[@SweetUniverse]

Same here. I was laying on my bathroom floor after cutting my wrists. My step-dad kicked my foot to see if I was still alive, then went back into the living room to watch TV with my narcissistic mother.

[@Zuni6969]

Hugs 🫂 ❤ I'm not sure how old u are but that's definitely not a healthy environment. No one deserves to be treated that way. Hopefully u can move out get some peace and be happy.

[@Cheesepufflikeswater]

Truth, but I won't break again ❤❤

[@1kingdomcome276]

Don’t forget to mention the spouses or former ones.. I’m heartbroken he went soooooo far. Continual hopes and dreams shattered day after day 😢

[@TMoniq]

I'm 42 as of today and at 35 I realized, I'm tired of trying to mend my parental relationships. It was never my responsibility and never will be. I decided to leave them behind and that's when my life change for the better. No! It was not easy but it was a must. If I would have stayed around them, talking to them I would not be here today.

[@MDM-wb3in]

Thank you for saying that 💜

[@Janeonthebrain]

Dam you pulled all the word out of my mouth

[@iJackson007]

This is the love of my life with her mom …

[@DawnGreen-wn4hr]

Is she a golden or a scapegoat?

[@DawnGreen-wn4hr]

If scapegoat, move far away. If golden, run!

[@Bellafrikadella]

I feel I have become that myself, sucking the life out of my partners, cuz I can’t navigate my trauma-so it is a lot about my needs and them walking on eggshells. I don’t wanna recreate it all and want to make it stop..I feel li me a monster

[@rachelrose8515]

Yup

[@mister_oj_zen7345]

I believe the proper word for them is, "Jagaloon".

[@lizaratliff8462]

Facts...

[@ChristinaDuffey-g7v]

Thank you!!

[@cristinalz9395]

I'm always making excuses for my father bcuz I love him too much! He's a healthy 93 yr old.. He's married to a maleficent narcissist, that loves to hurt our relationship, hurts me in any way she can! He protects me in a way that, while I'm going through disabilities I have a home, otherwise peace from the world that's so hateful and judgemental!!

[@hannahdeclerck256]

How you get off the hamsterwheel?

[@sdilluminatigrandfounder1813]

Do you always diagnose people you have never met, or is this something new?

[@dharmadharma3960]

You're coming to stir the pot with victims of abuse. That makes you kinda shitty.

[@sdilluminatigrandfounder1813]

@@dharmadharma3960 So let's see what we have here. I simply stated a fact. It is illegal to diagnose someone you have never met or treated. So the question is legitimate. You, on the other hand, simply attacked and called names. That means your comment is pure projection.

[@ohana8535]

@@dharmadharma3960 What are you talking about? I think your abusive comment is the one here to stir things up. And the proof for that is that their comment was here for NINE days stirring nothing. Then here you come, being an 455hole and stirring things up. Pot/kettle/black

[@mrs.salazar5219]

❤

[@lauragadille3384]

💯💯💯

[@theresistance3818]

😰😰😰

[@RedandBlackS10]

Pfft....

[@nicolemarie7684]

Can you make a short about the ones who mask their character by their "selflessness" and/or church involvement? Thanks ❤️‍🩹

[@jeannes.356]

See Les Carter.

[@Hannah_BananaXO]

💯💯💯