Your Tik Toks are So Stupid

I will be Live TONIGHT at: / kwite
today i looked at more of your tik toks, they are so dumb, i dont know where you guys get these things
stream my new song "webcore!": lnk.to/webcore
edited by nuka: / @nukaa
thumbnail by ariwa: / awiwannii
discord: / discord
Twitter: / kwite
Instagram: / kwite.png

[@ranting2daMAX]

I LOVE “Boyfriend Crashes Car and F]*#{}king dies ASMR”!! I saw it once on a mediashare thingy and then it just kept popping up…

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite's farts.

[@KirbosPlanet]

it's the best video ever, changing my mind is impossible

[@Jimyrt.]

It’s so good too. I listen every night to stay calm

[@brandonporter2321]

It's been a trend recently, and I went down the rabbit hole. I came out of it laughing my cheeks off. XD

[@KirbosPlanet]

@@brandonporter2321 which cheeks

[@Littleghostman4]

I love satire asmr, I listen to it to sleep, especially "Femboy falls down stairs"

[@wheeler_dealer]

"beating you with a brick asmr"

[@Kieran_pepper]

you should listen to "Boyfriend taked you out to eat but his opps slide on him" part 1 and 2 omg i almost had a seizure taht shit was so funny trust

[@oneconfusedboi]

"Yandere bashes you brains out with a frying pan ASMR"

[@noblesseraeva6644]

“Your girlfriend is someone’s opp” is one of my personal favorites

[@6packgaming43]

YASSSS✨✨💅🏻👁️👄👁️

[@awsddesafghjb3718]

3:36 WHO THE HELL SAID "Kwite finger me"

[@quintencornelissen2274]

Im pretty sure it was valer0_

[@sleepyspacefrog]

valer0 was unhinged 💀

[@CaramelOnFire]

valer0_ what are you plotting?

[@thatryebread]

Well considering the previous video-

[@CozmoStarz-cm8kr]

Valer0_ was so real

[@desertplanet3253]

0:19 imo trans flag has the best color combo out of all of them

[@The_lamb_sauce]

Fr kinda looks like cotton candy

[@VikTheGamer]

What about Asexual?

[@RealestPerson.]

Tasty

[@ihavenoideawhattomakethis]

@@VikTheGamernah aroace looks cooler than that one imo

[@fataldestinykai]

breaking bad pride flag lmao

[@prod_Stil_TH-GD]

"ah a bisexual person. God I hate seeing one of us" - Kwite, 2024

[@Idwren_404]

the phone drop was just so ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[@BigB_thebee]

How does it feel going from being called a Dream copycat to being genuinely enjoyable and lovable?

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite's farts.

[@zolline]

​@@p-__ prove it 🥵🥵

[@lwaysDrawing]

​@@p-__ we need proof

[@whitestarlinegoodnight]

Yo that's a sick pfp

[@BigB_thebee]

@@whitestarlinegoodnight thank

[@kytyanimation]

4:14 every british kid gets collective ptsd from being forced to sing this

[@amargwari2431]

Do cauliflower rice and potato taste so good to you?

[@TheLethargicWeirdo985]

It’s another Harvest Festival When we bring our fruit and vegetables, Cause we want to share the best of all Good things that we’ve been given. It’s another opportunity to be grateful for the food we eat With a Samba celebration To say thank you to God the Father

[@TheLethargicWeirdo985]

Yes I am traumatised by it still along with that' give it a 1, give it a 2, give it a 1,2,3' song

[@octookien7380]

The flashbacks I got from Just hearing “cabbages and greens”

[@jada9284]

The school rules song was the most traumatic song because the teachers would stare into our souls while making us sing it 😔

[@danielrivas6243]

did you know that when you are decapitated, you can still be conscious for another 10 seconds before dying of blood loss and a lack of circulating oxygenated blood (brain ischemia)?

[@LampGaming08]

No way really? I knew part of that

[@datcap6289]

i half-did

[@danielrivas6243]

@@LampGaming08 yeah, i searched it up, it says "Decapitation is quickly fatal to humans and most animals. Unconsciousness occurs within 10 seconds without circulating oxygenated blood (brain ischemia)." so you can still be conscious after another ten seconds after decapitation.

[@Iwannaeatlasagna]

WHO TOOK THE 69TH LIKE AWAY FROM US

[@Midnightaperson]

Yeah some one did a test a long time ago (i cant remember details) and before some one was decapitated on a guillotine the guy asked if he would blink after his head was cut off. So when they cut his head off a minut later he blinked for 10 seconds after

[@ClownHoundII]

I love the fact Kwite calls a fictional crashing more violent than actual crashes recreated in a game.

[@Flak262]

Love it when Kwite posts just in time for me to clock into work and spend the first 45 minutes in the bathroom

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite's farts.

[@Foodez3]

"what are these british gangster's listening to" 💀💀💀

[@DEATHWEB_XD]

When I read this that part turned on😭💀

[@Foodez3]

LOL@@DEATHWEB_XD

[@user-rk3gc6tc4u]

My cat went missing for 2 weeks and then my aunt saw a person on Facebook post a picture of her and say “pregnant cat has been wondering around for 2 weeks. Anyone missing a Cat?” And my aunt had to literally say on comments “that’s my sisters cat and no she’s not pregnant, she’s just fat.” 😭

[@maiyusakiryu7498]

3:42 I heard a similar joke to this once * Batman returns to the batcave * "*Sigh* Alfred, it's been a long night, start up the bathtub" Alfred replies: "pardon me Master Bruce, but what is a 'htub' " Absolutely killed me

[@Jay_A_Comenter]

1:42 this ASMR is so calming 😊😊😊😊😊 20/10 definitely recommend

[@kingboo_2237]

8:36 don't Worry.. be Happy

[@dr.ham101]

Or if you're more of a cave dweller the song by the name of "Oreo"

[@ThatEnbyAkutagawaKinnie]

The way the bf asmr made me laugh so hard that my family got concerned

[@waffie6785]

I have an overwhelming urge to lift kwite up knowing he's slightly shorter then me

[@taz37]

wait what’s his height

[@Idwren_404]

@@taz37 short

[@kat-fs9lu]

I'm 1 month late but 5'5 or smth​@@taz37

[@erwinkrauss7577]

5:00 Best part of the video, ngl

[@darryllmaybe3881]

8:31 It's the melody of "Don't worry be happy" by Bobby McFerrin.

[@Coquain]

The best part of the mitski cat video is part two when the cat gets sad when the song changes

[@total_eclipsegacha]

Boyfriend Crashes Car And F$@#ing DIES ASMR is my favorite video

[@M4lfucnt10ned]

3:16 most normal kwite quote she is the most pg vtuber out there fr

[@AudhildDaArtists]

Kwite, I've been feeling on the edge of healthy and sick. Some days I feel as damn healthy as a horse, but then I feel like I'm fucking dying. Sometimes, I'm in-between. Today's an in-between day. Under the blanket, I feel like I'm being cooked alive. Kick the covers off, and I feel like someone stuck me in the deep-freeze. I have this headache that doesn't hurt, it's just THERE. And im not sure whether or not I'm going to puke. Your videos made me feel a whole lot better. Thank you.

[@captainfantastic6840]

Not only is it speed on landings with aircraft carriers, they also punch it with the throttle to accelerate to maintain lift if they have to go around.

[@Jimyrt.]

4:04 Keith has instigated a gang war between the Birmingham shankers and the Manchester srubbletops by playing this

[@Jimyrt.]

Kwite***

[@Elite_Defender]

no views in 12 seconds fell off

[@3v3here]

😎

[@M3krugf8]

Lmao

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite's farts.

[@sharko6464]

too real

[@pineapple_of_doom4646]

​@@p-__How do you know

[@sadie1606]

I love when a new Kwite video drops during my lunch break. What a great break from corporate America.

[@s0livagant_]

2:22 only kwite can say something like this and it being glossed over, only kwite

[@rosedevq]

2:30 STOPPP

[@Yosleco]

2:00 was so relaxing😊😊😊😊😊

[@skillerthebean2000]

7:20 legit so painful to get spiked in the face but lmfao

[@AveragealienWhocosplays-gj2tg]

1:17 how much you want to bet those two are siblings

[@yaboiEchogaming]

1:17 I looked off my screen for a second, heard the song, and instantly got flashbanged with memories of the twilight x Mordicai.

[@nahidkamal3218]

1:51 IS THAT RICKLE?!?!

[@crystelthewolf]

8:37 i love the random shadow the hedgehog infiltrating the fnaf parade

[@charlesmurphy5644]

1:08 It’s called a tail hook and when it misses all four arrester wires it’s called a bolter.

[@slightlymorepotatoes6551]

5:57 Oh my god. That’s the song i always listened to with my dog. I had to put him down last week. 😢

[@majou...]

4:08 this song is stuvk in my head regularly and its such a banger from my childhood i swear. I be hearing harvest samba and i go crazy.

[@Star_tears]

Ikr me and my friends collectively walk around and sing this as loud as possible

[@Karma_Void]

These TikTok’s aren’t as vile as mine.

[@YetiBaby]

If you need money, I would pay 3 figures to get the Kwite plushie.

[@DEATHWEB_XD]

4:53 same, I hate seeing one of us as well

[@Raccnnibal]

Boyfriend helps you fall back sleep with a baseball bat ASMR is my fav ASMR video ever.

[@K.Dre_is_Undead]

Brother called bob Marley a insurance comercial

[@poppyfjrowan]

4:19 we are all taught that song to develop into gangster ages early. It is an education requirement. (clarification)

[@NoriTheSeawed]

The boyfriend dying asmr is like a whole genre of video and it’s everywhere and I hate it it’s all over my fyp I’ve seen boyfriend gets hit by a tsunami asmr and boyfriend gets attacked by 5 feral cats asmr I’ve lost faith in humanity

[@chloioutley]

3:31 alright, I enjoyed that laugh

[@AddiNoir]

kwite discovered boyfriend asmr?! everyone hide or else we’re cooked!!!

[@Mr.DCLXVI666]

As someone who literally just got hit by a dump truck on the way to my girlfriends house this morning; that boyfriend car crash ASMR really be hitting close to home lmao

[@laurenlovesspace]

ARE YOU OKAY?

[@lolmanenbatman6471]

09:09 ”there is nothing you can do about it” My AR15 begs to differ

[@itsgonnabeanaurfromme]

Suuuure. Me, I got a pillowcase, some rocks, and my neighbor has a pool.

[@x.K4LL3N.x]

NO PLEASE THE BF ASMR SATIRE IS SO FUNNY I JUST WATCHED THE “boyfriend takes you out for dinner but the opps slide in on him”

[@ilivory974]

Literally pissed myself reading that thumbnail

[@seablueheart-gamingandart2400]

Proud to have Kwite suffer with the Twilight x mordecai Airplanes cosplay video 💪 /hj

[@rEd_PuNk]

Imagine if Kwite was a circus

[@Thatonerandomchannel45]

He is

[@SkibidiOhiofanumTAX2]

Then im inside a circus

[@EagleTarget-gt4fm]

"If there was just one more car I would have died" * tires screeching*"OH SHI-"

[@adeinld8548]

Bruh only has 1 view, he fell off

[@djdiarrhea1173]

nooo dude that asmr crash is paul walkers death dog like why is it so brutal 😭😭

[@atsushisbf_e]

BABE WAKE UP KWITE POSTED 😍😍😍

[@God_of_cheese699]

The PRIDE your asking to get cancelled

[@AtomicDingoXR]

8:40 not a commercial song, that's an instrumental flute version of don't worry be happy

[@tamimogaji4501]

The thing is we actually listen to this song in British schools-

[@KingFroy]

The boyfriend crashing car shit had me dead😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@4tr0citie5rblx4]

I LOVE ASMR, especially "Ghost falls down the stairs ASMR"

[@Pink_Tsun]

ok so i feel like he always says "and you can always unsubscribe, if you decide you hate me." but he doesnt anymore and i cant find a video where he has help

[@angelicart.6]

4:15 damn boy dem bars hittin different

[@jasperburchard9344]

Love ur videos man

[@Mediocrecoder2]

Kwite never fails to ruin my day

[@craftomonapprovesdismessage]

I always love how Kwite uses the best Mario Wii songs as background music 🎶

[@fuiruy]

Actually, the jet goes full throttle when landing so like you said, if it misses the hook it can fly away and attempt to re-land

[@someguywithawooperpfp3163]

1:49 LETS GOOO, free Kwite whimper audios in this economy 😌

[@misledsine8242]

I’ve had 2 of those “boyfriend dies in card crash asmr ” videos show up on my recommended

[@tRiPiNsHrOoMz]

4:56 ouch that was a call-out

[@ManChild42]

1:54 i got a notif at the time he finished sayin "youre the only one for me" and yes it its a huh sound

[@AUDACITY245]

Got my brother hooked on satire asmrs. This video peaked my interest just looking at the title to see how quite reacts to it lmao.

[@Black_Rose-Rei]

My friend and I listened to the Boyfriend gets into a Car Crash and Fucking Dies at lunch and everyone at our table just looked at us as we laughed our asses off

[@Idwren_404]

dude where is the link

[@DemonicCheezit]

Seeing Andrew in the thumbnail of a Kwite video was not on my bucket list

[@khzknyn]

I saw the thumbnail and i know exactly which asmr that is and from who HAHAHA, i love satire asmrs u get to laugh and listen to a calming voice at the same time :3

[@gbilIz]

That first one could be more true. I got £30 STRAIGH AFTER a 70cm tall beer holder. I DONT EVEN DRINK BEER

[@lilyofthevalley430]

I would hope you don't drink bears

[@tatystextingstory1269]

Yooooo currently playing sonic frontiers and then this drops nice

[@JoeTheOriginalOne]

8:45 That’s Bobby McFerrin, you silly sweatshirt. Seriously, though, Bobby McFerrin was my childhood. My Big Mouth Billy Bass sang the song, which is “Don’t Worry (Be Happy)”; hell, even Robin Williams and Mr Noodle were in the music video.

[@MythicArt60]

I got a domino’s ad before he crashed the car 💀

[@talfi]

ah so you see, he got distracted by the ad which caused him to crash his car, which means he (or whoever is alive from his family) should sue dominos

[@Lucifer-HH-isbestdad]

8:27 conga line!

[@davisthedaviskids2574]

I once got the video on the thumbnail and I found it hilarious

[@MossIsMossy]

When's the kwite drunk driving asmr dropping?

[@Rotting_Nebulae]

In my humble opinion, we, the viewers, have quite refined tastes in tik toks

[@TRIANGLE_CUT1E]

8:21 BONNIE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!? “ 9:48 h-hell naw”

[@Mossymoss69]

I keep getting the boyfriend ASMRs 💀 the last one I got was “boyfriend fat shames you then gets hit by a bus”

[@__m1xa.___]

2:42 really man??? right in front of my salad???

[@Mrfedy_faber87]

4:10 in primary school, we had to sing this at most assemblies. im not kidding

[@eat139]

CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THAT D: thank god for kwute :D

[@unironicalcreature]

its 2 am but kwite posted

[@gerinko7874]

It’s another good one, Kwite.

[@dianaarriaga4054]

I almost crashed my car squealing hearing Kwite singing the twilight and Mordecai while I was driving

[@chaoticcow4357]

coughs and dies after the radiation from kwite's video reaches me

[@Ventiwings]

Didn't think i'd see a rickle asmr video on here LMAO

[@EmberExists]

I have been collecting those asmr videos like Pokémon😭

[@sr.lontra]

This should be a monthly occurence

[@WhatIsHappeningx2]

I love the sad cat he's so real for being sad to mitski

[@Drag0nmaster]

1:18 I have already lost my will to live

[@gamerunner560]

Omg, kwite foreshadowed to the BASS PRO PYRAMID yipee❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

[@Your_moma13]

Bruh I was taken a shit at 10:52 I don’t NEEDA shit my pants anymore 😭