Dr. Gabor Maté Explains Why You’re Seeking the Love You Never Got

[@eljeer123]

My entire adult life was rooted in finding love. Every relationship failed because of my own inner childhood wounds. I am 50 years old now and I had to confront my adult self and my inner child. I have had to learn how to love, parent and truly care for myself. I've been single and celibate for three years now approaching 4 years. Dr. Mate is absolutely brilliant and it begins from the standpoint of his love for humanity and the world. Thank you for sharing.

[@Love4kittens-Fostering]

Beautifully said. I wish you all the best on your journey! The most important relationship in life is the relationship to yourself.

[@mikepepper-x8c]

Astonishing video as always, at first i wasn't really into watching such relationship experts video, but it turned out to be a blessing in so many ways, 10 years ago i was with a narcissist and i broke things up 4 years ago, found someone who truly cared for me and i messed things up because i was trauma bonded. then i started watching a lot of you tube videos and some Christian videos about relationships and marriages, i learnt a lot, and something actually happened as well, i was able to get my ex back with the help of watching Matthew Hussey and Courtney Ryan videos and reaching out to a spiritual counselor.

[@mikepepper-x8c]

it is always difficult to let go of someone you love , like i said, i watched so many helpful videos, but the key was the spiritual counselor.

[@mikepepper-x8c]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@KseniaKsenia6]

He said: "GROWING TOGETHER"" is the most profound takeaway!!

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Wow, this video really hit home for me. 💔 I never realized how much my childhood experiences were shaping my relationships as an adult. Hearing Dr. Gabor Maté explain how we subconsciously seek the love we didn’t get as kids was such a powerful moment for me. It made me reflect on the patterns I’ve been repeating without even knowing it. I’ve often felt stuck in unhealthy dynamics, and this gave me so much clarity. It’s both heartbreaking and empowering to understand that healing starts with awareness and authenticity. Has anyone else had that “aha!” moment when you realized you were carrying old wounds into your relationships? I’d love to hear your stories and insights. Let’s create a safe space to share and learn from each other. 🙏 #GaborMate, #ChildhoodTrauma, #AttachmentTheory, #HealingJourney, #Relationships, #EmotionalHealth, #TraumaRecovery, #SelfAwareness, #Authenticity, #LoveAndTrauma

[@rosieleat6868]

Makes so much sense - wish I'd heard this 50 years ago.

[@ekatona11]

Im so thankful for Mate Gabors work and speaking out loud. This is the truth. I also experienced it. Im reading and learning about this topic since im a teenager. Started from my childhood problems my family. My fathers alcoholism… the silence, the abusive, unsafe enviroment. I became strong. I did not choose i had to. I became a “soldier” of pain and surviving. I wanted to understand and do it differently. I didn wanted to bring the pain to give it anymore. I wanted to stop this chain. To make a neckless from pearls of love, not the denial .Ofcourse ive been there too. You go through shit. It is a hard job. Long and hard . But this i also choose.not to do it, to take responsibility. While i was listening to the video it came to my mind that Im scared im scared of my choises. Because consciously i know what he is talking about and i dont want to choose pain and hurt. But its so lonely, so fu…g lonely feeling. What can i do? Im still working in my self . I want to connect and feel authetic but also afraid that i choose an abusive man. I want to try , i am trying, but how do i recognize good love If its done i mean determined unconsciously?😢🙏🏻

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much for sharing your story so honestly and openly. It takes courage to face and work through such deep pain, especially when it stems from childhood and family struggles. Your strength shines through in every word, and it's inspiring to see how committed you are to breaking the cycle and creating something beautiful out of love and healing. It’s okay to feel scared and lonely sometimes-it’s part of the process of growth and change. The fact that you’re aware of these feelings and working on yourself shows just how much progress you’ve already made. Recognizing good love can be hard when past experiences make it unfamiliar, but trust yourself. Keep learning, keep connecting with your authentic self, and take things one step at a time. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many of us are walking a similar path, and it’s okay to reach out for support when you need it. You’re doing an amazing job, even on the tough days. Sending you so much strength and love

[@thomasgraben123]

I'm sure Gabor won't mind me writing this, but I am currently reading a wonderful book by John Bradshaw, titled " Home Coming . Reclaiming and championing your inner child ". Very, very good . Saying similar things to Gabor . Synchronicity .

[@DanielleMM-ct8ip]

John Bradshaw was way ahead of his times

[@barbarakolar4689]

Thank you - this video information showed up just as i am deeply working thru the consequences of being raised by an emotionally immature bully .. releasing so much is a special freedom

[@MaNcu-dg2wt]

If only, that's a phrase I don't like to use because that feels like I'm regretting. Yet I'm also thankful that I'm listening to this now. I'm still learning about myself and I'm grateful

[@motherbear327]

I've always believed that we were meant to work together with our partner to figure these things out. It takes loyalty, commitment, and perseverance. Those who make it through these challenges together have the richest and most intimate relationships. They are rewarded for doing the actual work. I knew that instinctively and was committed, but my partner was not. I hate that I know this stuff, but have no one to know it with me or share the journey with. I hate him for leaving me and our family.

[@abie_irabor]

This video really hit some tenders areas in me (more awareness). This is a great segue to Attachment Styles. A wonderful video as always - always love listening/watching Gabor Mate. 💙

[@caleuxx9108]

Psychosomatic symptoms triggered -- tensions in the body, upset intestines, ...

[@AnaAna-y9v]

All sickness is homesickness 😔 !!

[@daleenjacobs5597]

Very true. Thank you. Watching from South-Africa.

[@CathyDahut]

MANY THANKS FOR THE GREAT CONTENT!!!!

[@Godsgirlok777]

Mindful Food Growing; Harvesting; Chook Caretaking; Food Preparation and Cooking and Serving... Mindful Housekeeping and Mindful,Montonous Housework that is Necessary and Fulfilling, like Clothes Washing and Drying AND Storage of said Clothing...Also Seasonal Storage of Clothes... Listening to me and Engaging in an Interesting, Loving Conversation. Kindness and Gentleness is Wonderful. I NEED These Things in My Life.

[@Sahabatsejati1907]

The hard thing for me to get good relationship is to find someone who want to hear and listen my feelings, my fear, my doubt that IM just human being full with bad memories of my childhood. i just want my partner understand every my bad thought, my bad feeling just to listen not to respond anything 6:54

[@KamustaKaibigan]

thank you so much for sharing this insightful video.

[@miss_mikimi]

Nice, now i know where it all comes from but how to HEAL it?? I would like to HEAR a Real Solution for all this.

[@denisesorenson4000]

Exactly what good is the knowledge with no solution!!

[@gailmorgan2556]

There are endless books about this but here are a few: Keeping the Love you Find by harville Hendricks, Breaking free of the codependency trap by weinhold, The Fantasy Bond by Dr Richard firestone. Fear of Intimacy by R Firestone. A good all around book is The Road Less Traveled M scott peck, MD

[@jyotsnagupta23]

Beautiful, deep & full of Grace ! Thankyou

[@Couchchilller]

Wow ,he is brilliant and what he speek makes soo much Sinn for me. Wow ❤

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s amazing how his perspective can connect with so many people.

[@penneyburgess5431]

Thank you.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

You're welcome!

[@leticiamilo4387]

Wow!! Perfect!

[@ljkoh20052000able]

Wow, The books were discovered, The youtube posts were not done by him, He even didn't give advise. It just happened.😮

[@GabePlaysRoblox19]

Excellent advice, thank you ❤

[@KseniaKsenia6]

14:46 Wow...

[@tomislavmagdic8082]

Is it possible to find partner whose behavior is not disfunctional as our parent was? Is it possible to change the way we love and the way we recieve love? Tnx

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much for watching this video and for your thoughtful question. Yes, it is possible to find a partner whose behavior is healthier than what we may have experienced growing up. It’s also possible to change how we love and receive love by working on ourselves, understanding our patterns, and healing. It’s not always easy, but with time and effort, it can happen. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

[@alice-hp7dh]

In my humble opinion, no isn't so easy. Because emotionally and chemically you will always find attractive people who harms you in some ways. You have to become aware that what you feel boring It could be actually safe as an example. Your first reaction It could be Always wrong but time after time you can shifts the pattern. I'm still working 😅

[@J54-u8w]

Watching from 🇭🇷

[@denisesorenson4000]

So what do we do to get better

[@emilymicheli4944]

I read many books by Carl Jung, listened to Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Eckhart Tolle, Bashar etc. To understand that how someone treats you has nothing to do with you, it's their projections etc. All situations are neutral till you put your beliefs, value system etc on...I don't know if this makes sense or helps. All I can say is that I'm the most peaceful & happiest in 30+ years....healing is constant too🙏

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much for watching this video! Getting better starts with small steps-taking care of yourself, being patient, and trying to make positive changes one day at a time. You’re already on the right path by seeking ways to improve. Keep going, and don’t give up!

[@northstarearthstar]

Ty❤

[@SEllison-gl9fm]

Well some of us had large families

[@netzjan]

Dr Maté is always worth listening to. The endless flow of meaningless stock videos totally turns me off this channel though.

[@ajgee8]

This . ...

[@bonnieyuse5876]

I'm going to have Disagree a little... We are not "Seeking our Parent's Dysfunctions...were just Familiar with them...and if your Parents are still a Part of your Life...than their "Dysfunctions" will Covertly Sabotage your Success to Grow! So until we face the Problems of our Past...we are Doomed to Repeat History! 😳😞🙄

[@silverlining5796]

👍🏼

[@KseniaKsenia6]

7:02. 😂😂

[@Donna-b5h]

no need for the interruptions ....explaining what is being said by dr mate....unnecessary and annoying