Enneagram Types 4 & 6 in a Relationship Explained

[@danprevette]

For the safe word in a fight, I recommend, "My Arrakis, my dune," before floating straight up into the air and out of the room. As a four, I appreciate how that both ends the fight, and is super dramatic and theatrical.

[@YouveGotaType]

LOL amazing. I open the floor to any one else with safe word suggestions - although that'll be hard to beat.

[@regancrawford4428]

Love this. Fours are some of my closest friends. I love fours! They match sixes in the way they just absolutely love and value the relationship and the person in it, beyond any usefulness the relationship might bring. My fours make me feel so loved because of that; it takes away the constant fears sixes can have that the relationship is going to be abandoned by the other person. I think you called out a really important conflict that arises - the sixes tendency to blame and the fours tendency to receive that and kind of sink into it. Sixes blame others hoping they're wrong because they don't want to lose the relationship but their skepticism/distrust is winning out. When the four responds with the affirmation more or less, the six feels like they're quitting. Definitely a response area that they are not aligned in and have to work on!

[@YouveGotaType]

I love me them 4s as well, and glad the video resonated with your experience of the types 🙌

[@elainetang8504]

Thanks as always for great content! Would love to see a workplace dynamics series!

[@YouveGotaType]

Will definitely do that series eventually! Glad you're enjoying the content, and thanks so much for supporting the channel as a member 🙌

[@genevievetang4228]

It's both scary and satisfying how accurate and dynamic your content is. I am so grateful for your channel.

[@YouveGotaType]

Haha that's great to hear 🙌

[@er.mannov5735]

I was waiting for this! This describes my partner and me so well! After over 20 years of a wonderful relationship there is still more to learn. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@YouveGotaType]

So glad to hear it was an accurate watch and hopefully worth the wait!

[@lady_icarus]

Loveeee thissss! I’m a 4w3 and I was in a relationship for 10 years with a 6w5! We met in painting class in uni (both of us were pursuing design degrees). Loved him and still love him (even if that looks differently nowadays). We only broke up because of eventual long distance because he had a lot of family things going on and his focus was needed there a lot to put out some fires. We balanced each other well and we still respect each other and check on each other beyond our past relationship. 💜 Lots of trust and openness and even though we will never be in a romantic relationship again, our friendship is something I cherish.

[@YouveGotaType]

Sounds like a healthy ending between two mature folks! Glad y'all have gotten to experience the beautiful side of this pairing.

[@whynot4]

Been waiting for this ❤

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@TheTherapyAlchemist]

Great video!!

[@YouveGotaType]

Thank you!

[@silverfox3195]

Hello! I had some questions a. How do I know if I am a phobic or a counter-phobic 6? I watched your video on 6s, but I feel like I'm kind of both, depending on whether it involves people or not. b. Do you have any good book/article recommendations for going deeper? Thank you!

[@YouveGotaType]

All 6s are a bit of both, and it depends on the situation. Some 6s will go to that aggressive, counterphobic place more often, but all 6s, if backed into a corner, will eventually come out swigging. I recommend "The Wisdom of the Enneagram" by Riso and Hudson.

[@silverfox3195]

@@YouveGotaTypethank you! I’ll check it out

[@Lauren-g3s7c]

If you looked at enough 4 guys to get an accurate answer do you think more of them will ask a girl out or wait to be asked out by a girl ?

[@YouveGotaType]

hmmm I'd say that the classic 4 move to is seduce, rather than assertively approach a romantic partner.

[@genevievetang4228]

4:10 i think you wanted to say stabilizing 6* in your life

[@YouveGotaType]

Nope, I said "force" not 4s :) but a healthy 6 could be that force!

[@genevievetang4228]

@ ah! I see! Thank you for clarifying that! It makes so much sense !

[@kawonky]

truly appreciate the effort you put into these! spot on as always 🫡

[@YouveGotaType]

Thank you so much! And thanks for supporting the channel 🙏 Very much appreciated.