When it's your first day as a hitman

Merch available here!: zachstarshop.com/
►Follow me
Odysee: odysee.com/@Za...
Discord: / discord
Instagram: / zachstar
Twitter: / imzachstar
Get the floating globe: stemerch.com/c...
►Support the Channel
Patreon (Early access + bonus content): / zachstarhimself
Paypal (one time payment): www.paypal.me/...
Join on KZbin: / @zachstarhimself
Contact me: [e-mail]

[@alendmizori8575]

That guy went through the 8 stages of grief and 7 layers of hell twice

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

And committed all 7 deadly sins at least once

[@shadowclone1598]

9 layers of hell you heathen

[@LoganJones88]

"the more the merrier"

[@FleshyWhiteChocolate]

“What’s that sound?” “Oh just the gates of hell opening up for two more people” Had me fucking dying of laughter

[@voltdamia8094]

Lol

[@TheBoss-zp4ur]

🍿😀

[@louisrobitaille5810]

Remember, everyone in the ZCU is heavily Christian 😂.

[@FaynarsSaiqo]

Not me, seemed like it was making gays the _butt_ of the joke. But in all seriousness that seemed like a joke aimed at gay people, rather than for, or even just about, them.

[@IsaiahRichards692]

@@FaynarsSaiqoMr Hitman: You’re under arrest for mass murder and homophobia! (You’re so going to hell!)

[@AnOligarh]

*Shoots him* - Are you mad?

[@rsyvbh]

Lemme get you a bandaid

[@Highminded12]

Just that question alone woulda increased my blood pressure. Then due to the gaping wound. Woulda killed me faster.

[@therealx1ras453]

Shrapnel In My Asshole is a badass band name

[@voltdamia8094]

Yeah lol

[@ryanc.510]

If I ever start a band I might use that 😂

[@lordender_kitty_official]

@@ryanc.510 you'll have to fight me for it, lol.

[@jamesplayzreviews]

@@lordender_kitty_official Let's throw them hands then 👊🤛🤜

[@mukkah]

Bruh LMFAO DED X'D

[@aniocitex1131]

He is both, able and willing to be a hitman

[@mushroomjuise2349]

maybe not so able but definitely willing

[@SteadyJack301]

Ehhh able? More like willing

[@aniocitex1131]

@@SteadyJack301 he had to get recommended for the job somehow

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

​@@aniocitex1131 Have you heard of... blackmailing?

[@minos8948]

Not as able and willing as the poeple at those parties

[@ashgrun]

i saw the bed again and knew EXACTLY what was coming

[@Unkindled13]

Very poor choice of words

[@knutthompson7879]

Exactly what was ... coming. Indeed.

[@rynethegrynd]

officer hernandez

[@Jeff-sr6fx]

Or.. who was coming

[@Dyanosis]

@@Unkindled13 Or maybe it was the best choice of words, but wrong spelling.

[@deletodraw1944]

"Turn off the body cams" IM DONE XD

[@elliotschnabel8364]

Ah, yes, my first day as a hitman. Such a relatable situation that everyone has experienced.

[@elliottdavid7405]

I know right

[@Dan_Hess]

Sounds like something a hitman would say to try to cover up that they're a hitman!!

[@helenos_152]

Yes

[@Kingslayer11]

Yeah who hasn’t

[@scholargrrl]

I mean, my day was worse. 😂

[@Forever-GM-Dusty]

"Job security for psychiatrists" -- is exactly the kind of banger I come to this channel to hear

[@billcynic1815]

The Hitman speedrunners have to start somewhere.

[@adamp4987]

No that was the customer he sounded so disappointed 😂

[@stinky1426]

"ohh sorry. I'm still learning :)"

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

,,Okay, let's try something else" :)

[@Complexcap40217]

“Can you just send the avengers already?!?!?!?” Best line in this skit

[@zohairs.5038]

Then the avengers join in...

[@FadiSaaidi]

@@zohairs.5038the Avengers:”You guys started WITHOUT US” (making out noise)

[@danielj.m5478]

The production quality 8/10, story line 9/10, absolute historical laughter 1000/10 😂 “wtf hell is going on”

[@dickottel]

laughter so historical the dinosaurs could hear it 🦕

[@Tridentofmemes]

Real

[@ironfistgaming8945]

hysterical

[@JaysMCworld]

@@ironfistgaming8945 n,o he was laughing so much it went down in history

[@DXDragon38]

Mrs. Hernandez has a lot to talk about over Brunch now

[@RM_Head]

"Did you get your man?" "No but somebody's got 𝘼 man" 💀

[@FiestaTX17]

Dude went to hell and back twice, the fact that he was still willing to complete the mission despite not being able to is inspiring given the situation

[@happypoo6708]

“What is that noise?” “Job security for psychiatrists” best line from one of these videos in a while!

[@TheMarshiiRose]

If this is what it takes to be a hitman, then I'd probably end up in the exact same scenarios here

[@insomniac_mind776]

Same, lmfao

[@voltdamia8094]

"the more the merrier"

[@mig-666]

The entire chat must join in

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

A newbie hitman being a hardcore Christian was not on my bingo card for KZbin skits this year. Well done!

[@runninwildforever]

he said catholic school

[@esavvysavokiii1277]

@@runninwildforevercatholicism is a sect of christianity

[@Conta_Minated]

I'm beginning to think that this hatman company is all about murdering gay people.

[@TonyYarusso]

@@runninwildforeverYeah, and?

[@darthvaderbro7210]

​@@runninwildforeverCatholics are Christian.

[@vismaykedilaya1318]

"Now would you PLEASE send the GODDAMN avengers over here?" that's when i died

[@hinahammad1047]

BRROOO THOSE COPS SEEMED HAPPY AF

[@placeholderblankspace]

JUST THE GATES OF HELL OPENING UP FOR TWO MORE PEOPLE 😭😭😭

[@ahuman5592]

he is willing however, not able, to be a hitman

[@voltdamia8094]

The shrapnel could actually give him some very serious infections....

[@tc6818]

"It could, it could! It could break the skin. It could lodge under the skin and cause a very bad infection!" --- Clark Griswold

[@thanosduckplease]

Zach is both able and willing to provide job security for his psychiatrist

[@juzoli]

Another sketch inspired by Zach’s real life events.

[@Adaho6]

Yep, its Zach Star Himself

[@hafplace1346]

nah twice he gets in that situation is crazy, not even therapists can cure him

[@xaviersmorag8025]

I love the character development of the hitman and how we slowly figure out his backstory

[@milesfreilich968]

2:08 room for a third, ROOM FOR A THIRD.

[@allaware1971]

"anyone who says it's beautiful is out of their goddamned mind.."

[@Paganini-Liszt]

That was the customer 💀

[@rat.cheese]

I wonder if Zach is willing and able to like this comment

[@Respear]

You wouldn't know, it only shows when the comment is hearted.

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

Nah, he only hearted it.

[@rat.cheese]

@@-WMD-Edutainment seems better

[@mycastephens4987]

I wonder if this bit will ever die.

[@Doombot-z5e]

@@mycastephens4987no the joke isn’t able and willing to die

[@jlpsinde]

BETTER AND BETTER; AMAZING!!!!!!!

[@maximumhoops123]

How is that 19hours ago

[@KingFateThe1st]

​@maximumhoops123 the video couldve been priveted so omly certain people could see it

[@TheReal2Hobos]

@@maximumhoops123 Don't worry, he's a time traveler.

[@KingFateThe1st]

@@TheReal2Hobos that makes more sense

[@jlpsinde]

Hi, I pay him on Patreon, so I can see before other people that don’t pay.

[@-WMD-Edutainment]

,,But what if they ask me to kill... them?"

[@docgrey3826]

Zack, That may be one of the top five best videos ever. I'm sharing that with so many people.

[@halvsketchy9293]

All those people were willing and able to do it

[@revanati222]

Oh man...did I ever pick the wrong day to share a post about bumbling assassins on Facebook...

[@freddymcshreddy6586]

I like to imagine this is how Agent 47’s first day went.

[@maverickmissile801]

Zach seems to be telling us something..

[@kyles1255]

3:24 that scream caught me so off guard what the hell

[@kjam9085]

"What's that noise?" "Just job security for a psychiatrist."🤣 🤣

[@kossettereaditte7552]

This is the funniest one he has ever made lmao

[@spyingfive]

3:20 i was laughing for 3 minutes straight

[@lad4830]

same

[@murphygreen8484]

I'm a hospital bed after two procedures in two days shouldn't be laughing and that scene nearly ended me 🤣🤣😂💀

[@spyingfive]

@@murphygreen8484 Fr

[@alekzandervenegas7409]

His tone of voice 😂😂 "join the party"

[@placidflunky6642]

most fortunate zach star skit character

[@6900xx]

The more it progresses, the more ridiculous and funnier it gets. 😂😂 Well done Zach

[@heybro345]

1:38 that 'Hello' got me rolling. It was so uncharacteristic for a hitman but Zach made it sound right. 😂😂. Keep them coming Zach.

[@ecg3803]

As soon i saw him enter "the Magic room" again i knew what was about to happen

[@KarlRF_]

Zach promise me you'll never stop doing skits, and even please do more! I have watched them all at least 3x, they're so good. My favorite is F*ck boy confessionals, absolute genius, when is the sequal? 🙏

[@HolloWolf35]

Ditto

[@HolloWolf35]

My favorite is the lanuage and the leprechaun

[@IAteAJarOfPickles]

"Ive never been with another man" 😏😏 "Me neither" 💀💀 "Room for a third" ☠️☠️

[@Jakub1989YTb]

1:04 .. I expected crossover to that one video from way behind, with the assasin in the home.

[@noahgilbert8218]

3:47 Imagine playing that when an intruder arrives

[@akir4979]

'room for a third?' actually destroyed me

[@NoMaidens183]

Just job security for psychiatrists had to laughing my head off.

[@MarkIrwin02]

That hitman needs a huge raise for having to go through all that 2 times.

[@ArunRaj-zz2xy]

The new John Wick remake looks nice

[@goslinglamb]

I KEEP REPLAYING THAT SCREAM WHEN HE KILLS THE OTHER GUY- 3:23

[@user-scott-pearce]

There was not 1 but 2 three ways in this video, somewhere this is someones wet dream or dry nightmare

[@eidkristo6107]

as a proffesional hitman I can confirm everything is exactly like that on my first few tries

[@OregonSlimMF]

That was so fucked up yet so god damn funny at the same time! Knocked this one outta the park for sure!

[@ironfistgaming8945]

As a hitman I can confirm all of this is so true its scary.

[@ifacro]

The delivery and pace of this sketch makes no fucking sense and it's just so good. This guy is the Norm McDonald's of KZbin Sketches

[@antonionnam6594]

"I don't know all the laws, but i know what they told me in catholic school" This dude's on another level.

[@namebn]

0:39 damn it, you got me with that one while I had food in my mouth.

[@ashwilliams8876]

I'd suggest he play The Hitman games but he'd probably f*** that up too. 😂

[@venator5421]

47 circles of hell

[@milesfreilich968]

4:37 NO

[@morrisonscott1139]

Agent 47's learning days

[@thecasiorobinson]

This might be the funniest Zach video I've seen. Like they're all hilarious, but this one might just take the cake

[@aditiganaraj3419]

not instructor Zach being totally humbled every training session😭-

[@BobChao87]

That room's cursed. Or blessed. Definitely magical.

[@SeptemberWendigo]

"Anyone who says it's beautiful is out of their mind." Literally 5 seconds before, i said it was beautiful and/or glorious.

[@mjolnir3309]

Well, you've finally done it... Since you play all the characters you've gone and effed yourself. Which, presumably, you've been told to do a few time in your life.

[@daviddow3705]

I can confirm this is still just as funny even after rewatching it like 50 times

[@homesteadgamer1257]

This is seriously making me rethink putting in that job app for hitman

[@GamePandaXXL]

The callback to stirring the poison drink with your finger on the first day of being a hitman is glorious

[@Lobomaru02]

Love how his reaction to getting shot in the foot was the same as it he stubbed his toe on a table leg.

[@macvos]

"What's happening over there?!!" - "Job security for psychiatrists" Epic

[@ArcherMVs]

Skit idea. God meets the Darwin award winners in the afterlife. Would love to see the Chad Bro God absolutely roasting some of them XD

[@ReaIHuman]

This needs to become a TV show.

[@GospelBearer]

I for one have to say, there couldn't have been much better of a video to honor the month of June.

[@federicoae7671]

This guy is really willing and able to shoot anybody

[@kebbil]

ball shot! 2:28

[@Jenifer_R_]

I was waiting for him to lick his fingers after he'd finished mixing the poison.

[@milesfreilich968]

5:50 just...why?

[@accidentalmadness1708]

“She cheated on me!” Dude weren’t you in a Devil’s Triangle yesterday?

[@ghost-hp7be]

"the gates of hell opening up" LOL!!! "Would you believe my day is worse?" HAHAHAHA!!

[@chrisjackson1889]

2:44 after what happened in the bedroom, I can actually believe that 😂

[@Orion_The_Omega]

Dam the hitman career is a very forgiving business

[@0staronyelp]

Wonder what the neighbors thought while hearing this

[@lukemeck]

Anyone that says it's beautiful 😂😂😂😂 i was rolling

[@scholargrrl]

Just realized the drink poison was him shooting his trainer, not the target 😂

[@KB-iv5dz]

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Are you mad?" LOL "I know what they taught me in Catholic school so could you just send Seal Team Six already?" As someone who went to Catholic school, this is hilarious. Keep up the good work.

[@6900xx]

Bro even got a double kill at 0:35 😂😂😂

[@metriacantho]

bro the way that the hit man is just staring with that face (0:47) all the time kills me 💀

[@rubenasandwich2842]

Bruh imagine pulling a Job and you're in the house but then police surround the house to kill the target instead

[@David-jw7ug]

Damn this channel is too underrated keep it up I'm always dying from laughter from your videos you deserve much more subs and viewers Keep it up ❤

[@enfelice]

Love the subtle advertisement for Winmau Diamond dart boards.

[@Griede26]

Even with repeated viewing, this is still hilarious 😂