What is the Biggest Lesson You Learned? (Part 1)

It's our one year anniversary today, and we decided to do some reflections in the form of the Q&A video that we shot on our wedding day. Have a great Friday, everyone!
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Halo semua! Nama gua Zhafira, seorang mahasiswa tingkat 4 di Osaka University, Jepang. Saat ini gua sedang berkutat belajar membalance mengerjakan skripsi, magang, aktif organisasi, dan menjadi istri at the same time. Minta doanya agar gua tetep semangat yaa!
00:00 Introduction
01:21 What is the one thing that made you surprised about me?
03:16 What is the biggest lesson you have learned so far?
08:02 If I'm stranded in a remote island what are the three things I would bring?
12:19 Did marriage life turn out like how you expected it to be?
#ArrangedMarriage

[@Zhafiraiha]

1:21 What is the one thing that made you surprised about me? 3:16 What is the biggest lesson you have learned so far? 8:02 If I'm stranded in a remote island what are the three things I would bring? 12:19 Did marriage life turn out like how you expected it to be?

[@ayunurmayanti461]

Semangat yah Zhaf , jaga kesehatan jg ❤

[@keluargapakmemed8113]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5eolZuid9qrebc kak di caption-in kak supaya mudah diklik. Maaf tdk bermaksud sok, ya kakak.

[@Zhafiraiha]

@@keluargapakmemed8113 Terima kasih!

[@keluargapakmemed8113]

@@Zhafiraiha syg kaka Lillahi

[@sitifatimatulz2716]

Saling melengkapi..... kak Zhafi untuk kak Syafiq, dan sebaliknya kak Syafiq untuk kak Zhafi.......

[@dheawirahmawati6801]

Entah kenapa aku suka bgt liat mereka:") sama2 pinter, saling support, produktif bareng, agamanya jg baik❤🥺 kaya saling ngaca🥺❤🥲masyaa Allah Semoga yg belum menikah mendapatkanpasangan yg shalih dan shalihah

[@fatkhiyatunnaja9856]

Aamiin

[@dhilas4469]

Aamiin

[@b29_60]

Aamiin

[@gledyslumbantoruan6257]

Aminnn

[@ameliasyahputri19]

Aamiin

[@ayunurmayanti461]

Pembicaraan yg di inginkan pasangan sebenarnya kek gini , nyaman bgt mengutarakan sesuatu , memahami yg di butuhkan satu sama lain , menjadi pendengar yang baik :"

[@callmee4997]

Betul sihhhh ini

[@ekazuliana2538]

iya bener..

[@vinasoraya4269]

♥️

[@ainilmaqsyurah5765]

Yapp

[@sofianasofiana9044]

dan ....aku ingin kamu selalu di dekatku

[@itsdee9199]

I just can't stop smiling for the whole video, wish I can find someone right for me one day, sharing and loving each other like you guys do ❤

[@divadsk_]

yeah me too

[@ainilmaqsyurah5765]

Aamiin

[@nurtamohamed1472]

Me too inshAllah

[@ekaagustina9010]

The way kak Syafiq look at kak Zha speaking throughout the video shows how grateful he is to have kak Zha. I wish i have another ka Syafiq for me in the future.

[@Superbo0y]

This is the most realistic marriage couple conversations i ever watched and learned. Thank you

[@noorafarah4662]

You guys are really young so please don’t compare yourself to other couples. The first year of marriage will always be the hardest year for couples who go through arranged marriage. However with time you’ll find that it gets better as you discover more things to love about each other. Most of my family went through arranged marriages and this has been the case for the majority of them

[@ardeliacitra5117]

Gatau lagi bingung nyusun kata kata nya dahal di otak numpuk bgt. Pokonya salut bgt si, atas keterbukaan mereka satu sama lain dg cara yang lain dari yang lain. I think it's unix. And i love it

[@fatwanurilizza7518]

My hope : One day we will meet, zhaf. Lagi kerja keras banget nih biar bisa sampai di posisi yg ku 'impikan'. Selalu jaga kesehatan ya ♥

[@haidind6925]

masyaaAllah, aamiin

[@maulida5386]

Aaamiin kak, pengen ketemu kak zhaf juga do titik terbaik

[@jurnasalsabila429]

Terima kasih ka zhafira sudah membuktikan jangan pernah meminta pasangan yang baik tapi kita juga harus memperbaiki diri😊

[@bilooo31]

"The reason why we make a plan is so that you always know where to go back to in case things go wrong somewhere in the middle."

[@neverbeefamous]

This is really another level. Out of my league. Your way of thinking alwaays blow my mind. God bless you two and your marriage :)

[@endaputri4085]

The algorithm of KZbin brought me to see this video, and despite of this video that showed up first, but I end up sightseeing your other videos as well that somehow make me feel something is motivated me more now. I really sightseeing like more than two hours already. Fortunately, your content the one that I absolutely will subscribe, something in line that, 'I never knew before that I need this content until I find it'. Thank you Zhafi!

[@barirahmamartinasia5544]

This video made me realise that you really cant compare yourself to others. I see kak zhaf life as "the grass is always greener on the other side" kinda thing but she does struggles a lot and finally got time to chill after what has she went through!! Propss to u kaaakkk

[@Ikram-dj4kq]

We need a 2 year anniversary version! You two are the cutest couple MashaAllah 🌸

[@jannah2833]

Take care kak 🤍🤍🤍 happy anniversary !!!! Doakan yang baik baik buat kalian 🤲🏻

[@ermahriahvlog5599]

Zhafi dan syafik kayanya Kalian terlalu serius banget, rileks dikit jangan terlalu serius😁. Romantis2 dengan becandain satu sama lain itu perlu loh biar lebih cair... Kalian itu goals couple dengan penuh ambisi dan semangat belajar, kalo kita yang terlalu santai kali ya 😀😀😀. Mudah2n langgeng hingga jannahNya Aamiiin

[@khusnakhusna541]

True, Terlalu serius

[@minarti4880]

Nggak kok. Ada becandanya. Justru aku malah suka kayak kak syafik dan kak zha. Dr pada terlalu banyak haha hihi gk jelas. Mending kayak kak zha dan kak syafiq, pas, ada becandanya ada seriusnya.

[@nmdhhili1705]

Trueeeee

[@lulasyafira677]

mungkin mereka dibelakang layar jga bercandaan kok tp emg gamau aja dimasukin ke kamera karna juga “buat apa?”

[@ginkgolinlin]

@@minarti4880 sama bgt, serius-bercandanya kadarnya segini sih aku malah suka. Kebanyakan nyocol malah berasa ga jelas wkkww. Ya gitu, selera humor org beda2 👍

[@Yesheza]

Already a year? Wow. Time flies really fast 😳

[@sitimaimunah7461]

Romansa dengan pasangan sangat2 penting dalam perkawinan..sekedar pelukan hangat dipagi hari,saying i love you sebelum tidur dan hal2 kecil manis lainnya akan jadi penguat sekaligus penyejuk hati sebelum dan setelah kita menghadapi kerasnya dunia kerja atau sibuknya kegiatan mengurus buah hati kita kelak...romansa dengan suami/istri jg ibadah dalam perkawinan karena membuat pasangan kita bahagia,kehidupan perkawinan jadi menyenangkan dan jg tidak terasa "kering" .. Salam sayang buat kalian..😚 (13 tahun menikah dan punya 4 anak )

[@hikmanafia]

Komen ini mengandung banyak pelajaran (8 tahun menikah. Dikaruniai 2 putri)

[@nadychiquitta]

Aaa barakallah Kak Zhaf and Kak Syafiq!! I think "romantic" is relative, everyone has a different pov about this. And for me, u2 guys are the sweetest couple in my taste xD May good things always be with you all

[@alifiamayangsuci8531]

I'm happy seeing you two! Sering2 kak bikin konten berdua sosweet nyengir2 aku nya hopefully langgeng sampe kakek nenek

[@marhamahayupuspaningrum1687]

Mengutarakan sesuatu yang kurang dari pasangan pake bahasa enggres kayak lebih sopan gitu ya, coba kalo bahasa indo. Kek gmn gitu hihihi. Next aku sama pasangan pake Bahasa Arab.. aamiin

[@aristiadian5207]

Iyaa bener jg yaa mbah hihi, masyaaAllah pake bhs arab

[@heyitsfiiiii]

I am glad I came across your channel and this video as well, this is really an eye-opening video. I would love to grow to be someone like you and have these amazing personalities. You have so much positivity in you, thoughtful mind, and that makes you an inspiration for me. I don't have great example of a marriage as my parents are quite toxic, so this is video really taught me that honest conversation between couple is important and it's possible to do it without hurting your partner.

[@shofiapriliya6726]

Hi! I watched your chit chat ep 4 and watched this video. I hope you gonna read this, aamiin. First, i do appreciate your decision for having an arranged marriage. I could say, you did ta'aruf in your arranged marriage which is in true path of god. I can't agree anymore! Second, i am interested to your last point about romantic thing in this video and about love in your chat chat ep 4 video. But i have a question for that, Have you ever done "sunnah" in your marriage? Sunnah dalam pernikahan ada banyak seperti memanggil dengan sebutan yang menyenangkan, it isn't like "kak syafiq" or "zhafira". It should be like, sayang or any other. Maybe it could help since aku liatnya bbrp kali lebih manggil kak/nama daripada panggilan sayang. Mungkin ini sekedar "panggilan" yaa tapi when it sunnah, i am pretty sure it helps you to feel love more and be more romantic. The second thing, gombalan itu perlu HAHAHAHA. It might sound cringe but it needs. That's why there is a kajian bahwa being a romantic husband isn't optional but it is something that should be done. Third, love is something that comes from heart not head. You know what? Even a candle light dinner may leave nothing to our heart if we value it with our head. "Oh dia nyiapin ini. Bagus ya" sekedar bagus di mulut, respect all the effort, tapi gak berbekas di hati. Hiks hiks hiks. Keempat, coba baca buku "5 language of love" alias 5 bahasa kasih. Disitu bisa saling menemukan 2 potential bahasa kasih masing masing supaya bisa saling memahami satu sama lain. Jangan jangan selama ini sudah saling romantis tapi karena berbeda bahasa kasih jadi gak nyambung. Misal kak syafiq bahasa kasihnya dominan pelayanan dan physical touch trus zhafira bahasa kasihnya dominan kata cinta dan quality time, gak ketemu kalo gak saling ngerti. Kenapa? Bagi kak syafiq, bantu pekerjaan rumah itu bentuk cintanya ke kak zhafira ... Bagi kak syafiq, physical touch after marriage itu bentuk cinta yg diberikan ke kak zhafira ... Tapi kak zhafira ngerada biasa aja akan semua itu karena kak zhafira baru merasa dicintai kalo kak syafiq spending quality time bersama~ kak syafiq ngeluarin kata kata affirmation ke zhafira ... Kenapa? Apa zhafira yang salah? Enggak, karena memang love languagenya zhafira itu quality time dan words of affirmation ... Makanya perlu saling mengerti love language pasangan supaya tahu dan bisa saling memahami ... Begitupun sebaliknya, bisa jadi worda of affirmation dan quality time yg diberikan zhafira bisa jadi gak ketangkep jelas sinyalnya ke kak syafiq karena bahasa kasihnya kak syafiq bukan itu... Intinya mah, there are a lot of "sunnah" yang bisa bikin makin cinta, merasa dicintai dan lebih melekat lagi. There is one thing that you should know zhafira dan kak syafiq: pilihan kalian untuk menikah karena ibadah dan hanya mengobrol hal hal penting saat taaruf bahkan menjelang menikah adalah hal yang bikin Allah seneng dan berada di jalannya Allah. Setelahnya, Allah pasti bantu kalian saling mencintai as a gift and i am pretty sure about that. Why? Allah yang pegang hati kalian berdua. Allah could make both of you fall in love in a second but sometimes you need an effort to reach it. May Allah gives both you samawa's life ... Aamiin (Btw, ini komen panjang karena pengen aja. Kalo ada salah salahnya mohon maaf karena saya hanya manusia biasa hehehe. I just want to chit chat aja hehehe)

[@nadeasalsabilaputri2395]

Suka banget bacanya🌻

[@Zhafiraiha]

I appreciate the long message!! Thank you so much untuk semua masukannya, I assure you we were a lot more cringe in this video (which I cut out as they are private and not for public consumption) 😉

[@lidyaayugustina9630]

I screenshot this comments 🙃 idk.. but yeaaa i did it.. thankyou Shofi :') may u have a good day and good life

[@cathrinezara1481]

sudah setahun aja padahal kayak baru kemaren senyum2 sendiri liat qna kalian yang waktu hari-h nikah.. langgeng terus ya

[@racawrus]

Looking forward to watching it kak zhaf ! ✨

[@hildasnh6800]

Masya Allah couple goals banget sih ini mah

[@udjiko]

Happy Anniversary, Guys. May Allah bless your marriage

[@rintanoviana550]

MasyaAllah, Tabarakallah.... Seneng bgtt liat kak zhaf sm kak syafiq bikin gini Smga bahagia terus kak❤ SaMaWa, Langgeng Dunia akhirat 🌼

[@2kdlt]

Come across to your channel and I want to say how positive and mature you are. I love how you think and positive. Stay strong to the both of you! Have a happy marriage 💗

[@anisapurwaningsih6535]

zhaf maaf kalo salah fokus tpi kerudung yg ini cantikk, cocok di kamuu

[@meisyaamanda5034]

MasyaAllah happy anniv kak zha dan kak syafiq!! selalu seneng bgt liat kalian berdua sama-sama pinter dan bisa dukung satu sama lain 🥺❤️

[@icetea660]

I always feel positive vibes from you guys.

[@vaniasyndisalsabila1075]

Hihiw sebenernya kaya begini aja udah romantic siii

[@nazlaaghaissanifajriya4006]

Bener. Malahan kalau aniv nya diisi deep talk kayak gini jadi lebih berkesan 😊

[@aisyahhanin7822]

Baarakallahu fiikum, semoga Allah selalu melimpahkan rahmat dan keberkahan untuk keluarga ini. Semoga Allah juga memberikan suasana sakinah mawaddah wa rahmah buat keluarga kakak ✨, aamiin.

[@Zhafiraiha]

Aamiin ya Rabb

[@ublukudutfamily8318]

Zha kalian keren .... its a good start ... its good to talk apa yg kurang dlm pernikahan (romantic side). Kamu hebat .... semoga kalian berdua bisa menemukan saat2 itu... masih malu2 kayaknya siy ..... but its okay .. you can tell pasanganmu " what do u want" " how you exactly want it " .... semangatt!!!

[@haanialtaf9519]

I can listen to her for 1 hour .. she talks so nicely .. a writer , a poet so cute

[@nawales-sebaiy7252]

Guys u re amazing ! It's the first time i come across of your videos , I wish if u make more english videos ! It is genuis to discuss such topics ,keeeeep going and i am big faaan

[@nailassirriariati29]

Cant waiittt.... Pasti jawaban jawabannya bisaa jadi pertimbangan sebelum menikah wkwk

[@kaylaaqilah574]

I love her English accent so muchhhh 😍

[@yulikasaragih3787]

Kak Zafira Ccocok banget sama Kak Syafiq ... Sehat dan bahagia terus ya kak

[@rfkirana]

Kog gemeeess bangeet yaa liat kalian berdua ngobrol 😍😍😍, jd kepo pengen liat vids aslinya sblm dipotong2 for the sake of public consumption wkwkwk 😅😅

[@tugastugaas2624]

Zhafira is my therapist fr

[@rifaizzatulmufida7715]

04:34 GEMOYYYYY SHSHHSHSH

[@cathrinezara1481]

asli yang ini gemes kayak drakor 😂

[@071_samrotuljaniah3]

Kak Zhaf kapan bikin video kek gini lg ?

[@7dreamies114]

Really enjoy this conversation Zhaf. Got so many insight. Thank you. This is so out of context but I like the pronounciation when both of you speak english 🤣

[@sadhuman9346]

Gambar Pak Habibie dan Bu ainun jika beliau muda dizaman sekarang, semoga saya bisa bertemu Ainun saya secepatnya Aamiin

[@junghana819]

Waw ga kerasa udh satu tahun, padahal berasa kemaren aku ngikutin nikahan kak zhaf kemaren

[@ikrimafihusna3310]

Sehat selalu kak Zhafira dan kak Syafiq😁

[@haesa4863]

You can still be romantic etc.. Now that you are married, it is halal now to be romantic.

[@fatimanouhi7116]

please keep your videos in english ( much love from Morocco)

[@hannisaharis1988]

They look alike ❤

[@nurhikma2778]

i am so excited wacth this however very late i watch but i hope i can be person like kak Zhaf and kak Syafiq. You are the best public speaker dan kalian selalu mengedepankan Allah dari sesuatu yang lain MasyaaAllah..

[@duncancarter4342]

Endingnya kode keras bgt minta diromantisin 😂🙏🏻🔥

[@Zhafiraiha]

Ga pake kode ini mah tiap pengen langsung di dikte harus apa dan bagaimana 🤪

[@zuzu6901]

i think that its because you both comfortable with each other thats why the romantic stuff is not as in your face explosive. you guys vibe like you being married for 10 years already

[@Jamesb570]

The last response of Zhafira was strange to me , my reaction was like NO NO COME ON! Especially the moment she said she doesn’t mind any more about that missing romantic relationship with husband and the evening dinners was became like going with friends though, she kind of got used to it but how? . I am definitely disagree with that, I don’t think romantic intimacy is something you loose and never comes back.No no no definitely not, because everything is on your hand, husband and wife, as long as you’re alive it may comes at any moment. Just try to spend more time together, give the priority to your relationship over everything, be open to each other, care, try to be more romantic (husband) and make a baby too. Inshaallah everything will begin to brighter in your relationship. Without love and romantic feelings to each other, me personally cannot imagine such a relationship. It’s like you’re living in a room where lights are switched off, although you can make it on at any time if you wish even by a single touch. Allah bless you both 🤲

[@andreapalma7570]

Hopefully that will blossom as they try for children. I would hope. I felt like he was trying to say something earlier in the conversation that he said was private. Maybe relating to that he wished things could be more romantic or physical. I guess expectations are very different in these situations.

[@nuraenimusyafak]

tapi hal romantis yg dilihat penonton adalah ketika suami mendengarkan ketika dirimu bicara dan selalu melihat mu tanpa menoleh itu sangat romantis dibandingkan membawa oleh2 bunga

[@septyseptynaputri3618]

MasyaAllah definisi mirip itu emng ada dan bener sih

[@canchanstudy5356]

😍😍😍 I hope that one day I'll have a life partner that can be my husband also my friend to live this life together, talking each other and understand each other's need. Maybe, like you two did. Aamiin ✨🤲 Smrg, Oct 25, 2021 (18)

[@purpleby1655]

Masyaallah, sukak banget liatnya😍

[@latteshii3851]

i'm not the only one who is crying right?

[@nazlaaghaissanifajriya4006]

Karena pengen memiliki pasangan yang bisa diajak komunikasi seperti ini?

[@latteshii3851]

@@nazlaaghaissanifajriya4006 yesss! sama gara gara ngeliat obrolan dan cara komunikasi mereka T___T

[@dindaayuzahra4672]

Is it just me or your faces look really similar 😁😁 can't wait for the premier🔥🔥

[@miftaquljannah2469]

hihi gemes bgt wkwwk, gasanggup nonton sampai habiss 😂😂

[@shellarana5310]

senang banget deh liatnya,pasangan yang sangat dewasa dan menginspirasi

[@sheilaarone]

Happy to see you guyss❤️🤍!! May Jesus bless you!

[@nidahanifah6920]

can't wait for part two ka zhaa ^^

[@fellforfall9802]

I love the way you wear your hijab, it suits you so well!!!

[@Amala275]

he is so respectful to her,u can tellfrom his eyes....

[@shellyikanursalammah4888]

Zha you're really amazing you do all the things at the same time. so inspiring us

[@Aish_syAH1]

Arghhh seneng bgt liat konten nya ka Zhaf

[@sriseptiani7264]

Selesai nontn yt pasti liatin likes dan dislikesnya baru kali inii habis nonton liat video yg 0 dislike. Btw time flies ka zha, semogaa bahagia selalu ka!

[@hanxiaoli8148]

Kak zhafi house tour kak, kepo gw 😁 moga d baca Aamiin..

[@athysuperb3244]

I love your fashion style..It so nice and modest.😁

[@haidind6925]

I can't wait for part 2

[@muthiahamidah7395]

happy anniversarry to this cute cute couple! stay happy and healthy you both!! ^_^

[@diasaja3102]

Masyaa Allah, kak.. Aku suka banget sama kalian berdua *love love* Semoga selalu dilimpahkan rahmat dan keberkahan oleh Allah

[@illy_lia]

Hello, I'm amazed at how much you achieved in your life and one of them is your marriage. Because you get married during a young age so I would like to learn from you on what you prepare for yourself before that (ex. Finance/emotional intelligence/ islamic knowledge/ faith etc). Thank youu.

[@nachitaaulia]

Kak zhaf Kak Shafiq Happy anniversary🤩 Barakallahufikum. But why every your word are touchy🥺😅 thank you for made this video

[@sirinehamid8057]

Baraka Allah lakoma I wish you a happy life ,beautiful couple. 🥰🥰

[@exolchen3504]

Ka terimakasih, sungguh akun ini sangat meng-inspirasi. Sehat2 ka.

[@aleah739]

Then I also realise what expectation is.. It takes time to grow~ 🙂🌱 exactly~

[@khaeratirosaliyah8649]

Nonton kakak sekaligus belajar bahasa Inggris juga, hehe.

[@lullaby2305]

tbh, the way she speak is so nice 😍

[@rafifsuryaf7242]

Saran aja mungkin kak zhafira bisa coba buat kontent ttg privilige

[@fidie-v-1926]

Ya Allah Anak2nya pasti jenius... amin... keren loh mereka inih 🤩🤩

[@aisyahraihani6796]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

[@amenafidela7493]

Zhafira i feel you about "moment romantis" Di awal pernikahan, but i want to tell you that " Itulah pernikahan " , i think romantic moment that you expect is the way what couple unmerried felt (pasangan yang pacaran, deg degan) Karena pernikahan tidak lagi se excited yang orang pacaran rasakan karena sudah resmi, dan halal, jadi syetan tidak lagi ikut campur dalam hati kita yang menimbulkan rasa was was, takut dll (termasuk deg degan) but i relief , because it's means you never have experience about "pacaran" before (i think). I adore you zhafira, keep spread positive vibes, and even it's late, i want to tell you may Allah bless your Marriege, Barakallahu lak wa baraka alaik wa jama'a bainakuma fi khair.

[@cahyakamila7798]

Kalo nonton beginian sok hayang kabita jadina teh:') Smoga soon bisa meet jodoh abi dimana Ya Allah

[@aldalda]

satu tahun juga aku tau km, Zha

[@mulkisyahida]

thank you zha, kak syafiq. this video answered the heavy load in my chest.

[@ahmmeg]

Hello neighbors!...mabuhay! you guys are cute😍...at your young age you look mature. Communication is really essential in a marriage life. Cheers🥂 & god bless you both.

[@latifnadi6171]

Adem ya liatnya😊😊

[@claracharismadeatata2771]

Emang disini jadi lebih tahu progress kedepan mau kekgimsna dari duo orang hebat ini

[@faridhaikal5318]

God, give me someone like Zhafira please. Women these days don't have that kind of mindset.

[@sarnalikhanom7268]

Love you love you🥰🥰🤗🤗from Bangladesh 🇧🇩🇧🇩

[@camelliaaisyah]

Really like the conversation 🤗 thanks for sharing ❤️

[@zainabnab4257]

Wuaaaa ga sabaarrrrrr 😍😍

[@rfkirana]

Ciieeee… ciieee anniv pertamaa 😉😉

[@mira1070]

Part two, please :)

[@andinadhirahharis3099]

Zhafiiiiii I adore you a lot 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕