ZYZZYX ROAD - The Lowest-Grossing Movie Of All Time | Cynical Reviews

[@CynicalReviews]

EDIT: For everyone saying that CUCK (2019) is the lowest-grossing movie with a box office of $0, that's incorrect. It's box office simply wasn't recorded (making it not applicable), meaning it could well have earned more than Zyzzyx Road's $30 from the multiple theatres it was released in. So it doesn't count. Brought to you by Raycon. Go to buyraycon.com/CynicalReviews for 15% off your order! Get Early Access to uncensored, ad-free version of videos by joining my Patreon or becoming a KZbin channel member. PATREON - www.patreon.com/CynicalReviews CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS - kzbin.info/door/1DCPS2j-o0bvfIilkc8RSwjoin TOP PATRONS $20 Craig Huggins Kai Kobayashi Maru Michael Lowe Munchman SillyWilly The CuddlyBot $10 Aloofstrife Boring AF Burnhard Chewzilla Christopher Smith Friendly Neighbourhood Bee Necromancer Guiseppe La Monica TransmissionRory OTHER PATRONS & CHANNEL MEMBERS A A.J. Bauer Alastair Oxby Alfred Edwards Alice Alicia Windsor Alysha L Amanda Gillies Ana María Hernández anonymous person Ari Rubin Ash Drew Autocharth Avery Swanson Ben Ben L. Benjamin Gallup Carla Hoffman Carly Othing Carolin Tomczak Chandler Eldridge Charlie Hopper Charlotte Chris Alexander Chris Barnard Chris Hughes Chris’s Coarse Cloggy Coomhole Christian Plitt Chrystle Ayer Clarissa Wee Coco Cody Huinker Colton Courtney Schmitt Călin Breazu Daemonumcamo Daniel Kneeshaw Daniel Metcalfe David Seitz Deborah Dimi Petk Dirty Dan Dominique L Dorron Hopeman Edd Starr Ede Durchian Elf Evan Ryan Étienne Nicolas Stark Eve Fatala B. Fergal Keane Filia Medicii Filip Malý Fona AL-mansour Francisco J. Fritz Frederik Gohns Garking Gerrit Bode Gorbadoekie Gregory Arden Hayden Barker Ian T Gray Isermire J C Sonicfan James Moore James Tomlinson JaxSeebs Jay Jeff Hatfield Jerome Williams Jess Jesse Schoedel Joakim Myhre John Wheaton Joseph Richardson JoYKiLL Judy Ko Julio Ochoa Kadath Lopez Katharina Gloning Katt Kithawk Kitty Koji Brooks KrashandBurn Kren98 Lady Zira Larissa Laura Hertzman Lauren Moon Leigh Reynolds Leonard Hess Lina Little Maecenas Lord_Melonlord Louie Stanley LUCY BANHAM Luke Peden lulume Luna Hawkins Maiza Malice Martin Maruis Z Martha W Martina Bizoviti MASTER STEW Matrix_909 Matthew Alvernaz Matthonius Mattness LP Meghan Ruth Merster Michael Andrew Michael Barnes Michael Evans Michael Gossman Michael Tacon Minh MJ Morgaine Brindle Muki Mystique Meredith Myuu chu Niche Gaming Nicholas G. Nick DeBruyn Nighttimerecorder Nika kotnik nitemar Omar Abdul Jabar OneToxisPixel Oscar Medina Pallaspunk Pamela Cardenas Pan Manis Pascale Leonelli Philip Emmerson Poli Rus13 Primaryglitch Raddels RainaRyder Raven Wales Raven’s Cry Rebekah Monteith RentEldDoor Rissa Sly Robert Fithen Robin Hildebrand Rule Finlandia Rusty Banner Ryan Gannon Salamander Marine Sally Santoyo Samuel Nielsen Scaris Senhearts SeriesofDays Shannon Walker Sholto Sir Attlich Social Outcast Soulknife20 Stella Sadbrains Steven Warner Swood3134 Tactical Bagels Taylor T The FoE THree The Man of the Divide The Tea Shop Crafts Tomasz Graczykowski Tsar_Chidgrat Uncle Nought Unknownthing2477 V3nik Vanessa Nilsson Vanessa-Lynn Wilkens Wayne Bawden What_Social_Commentary William Ference William Hornstra William Morrison Woad Warrior Art YYEyes Zahra S Zevon Price Zichz Zoraprincess91

[@milktea6676]

First furry

[@D44RK_Iced_Yogs]

Picked a great movie name

[@nnickplays9713]

I thought C U C K (that terrible joker ripoff) was the lowest grossing movie ever? I think it came out theatrically when the pandemic happened.

[@prestonbrown1876]

Have you heard about the movie called "Cuck" released in 2019? I heard they got a whopping $0 in the box office

[@nnickplays9713]

@@prestonbrown1876 I think it came out in Some sort of format Or streaming service before it hit theaters and made nothing. It'd be a nice companion piece to this video. "The other lowest grossing movie of all time." I wonder which one lost more money

[@cellperfecto421]

For those wanting to know the twist without watching the movie, in the second act, it looks like Marissa is some kind of succubus that drains life force, that's why Joey and Grant team up against her. However, it turns out that Grant was crazy, hallucinated everything including Joey, and was trying to kill his girlfriend. It is as dumb as it sounds.

[@ironmaster6496]

Oooh....wait what?

[@angrymokyuu1951]

That sounds like it could be a good twist, if done well: he kills the ex, they bury him and, while waiting for morning/the tow truck/whatever's keeping them there, he notices the body missing, sees the ex stalking him and eventually separates from her to draw the ex away(note that she just happens to not see any of this). He meets with the ex, they team up to take out the succubus, but the ex doesn't do anything requiring he actually interact with anything(don't call too much attention to this fact). So tow truck/serendipitous 18-wheeler arrives just as the three reach the road(with her telling boyfriend he's gone crazy), boyfriend shoves girlfriend in front of moving vehicle and then the ex suddenly disappears when we start seeing thing from the operator's perspective. They maybe get in a fight, resulting in boyfriend's death and the trucker takes the injured girlfriend to the hospital to get help, where it's confirmed the ex has been dead since boyfriend killed him in the beginning. Optionally, we have a post-credit scene where she's complaining to her sister about her boyfriends always crazy and the sister telling her that that's what happens to men who spend too much time around succubi. Or something leading to that reveal.

[@MarcoStrange]

I'm not even sure what you put in this comment, but I agree it sounds dumb.

[@weasley2o13]

Thnx, but I have to know-in what situation could you have possibly set down and watched this movie...? Did you lose a bet?

[@Nehelenia3000]

Literally went into comments looking for the explanation of a twist.

[@OneTopic]

I recognize multiple names in this cast - how could this happen

[@TheNebulaeCollective]

25 seconds ago yoooooo

[@StellarSaturn7440]

I wasn't expecting to see you here OT. Nice to see you ^^

[@Lillian2167]

omg toppicy woppicy! What are you doing here? lol :D

[@JHenry-nz7hy]

You watch too many films. There. Done.

[@theri-verse6880]

Hi OT

[@CommissarMitch]

"I could use Warhammer minis, put it on KZbin, and make more money" *Games Workshop Legal Team will remember that*

[@KyrieFortune]

Would it count as a fan movie? Games Workshop's future IP lawyers say yes (yes, *future* lawyers, they're hiring one NOW after the uodated guidelines, what a joke)

[@ddjsoyenby]

do it cynical.

[@DustinBarlow8P]

In Gollum voice: "WE WANT IT'S!!!!"

[@icravedeath.1200]

​@@KyrieFortuneI guess having somebody who actually knows the law could be a good thing.

[@theargonianmercenary184]

“Look I will paint them, eventually, just…just… just get off my case!” As an Ork player, I felt that 😖

[@redrix1787]

I have around 100+ necrons that are totally being painted right now...

[@sandy120]

Me and the genestealer hybrids I bought back in like 92(?) know your pain all too well some of them havent even had their arms attached... ...one day I'll get round to them, one day.

[@__-jt4tv]

@@redrix1787 Silver's good.. right?

[@aconcernedcommissar6261]

It's a mark of a 40k player having a pile of shame For me it's the imperial gaurd

[@theargonianmercenary184]

@@__-jt4tv if using Citadel use lead belcher, and if using Army Painter (like I do) use Gun metal.

[@BlueSpooky]

That scene with the whispers in the dark reminds me of my first high school acting session lol

[@Jackillantern]

At least your acting is good

[@milktea6676]

Quite haunting indeed

[@myishenhaines1706]

Hi blue spooky!

[@BlueSpooky]

@@myishenhaines1706 Hi there!

[@tyrannapusandfriends6254]

Glad you said first session Because there are some people in my class *waaaaaaaayyy* better than anyone in this lmao

[@addicted2mako]

Zyzzyx Road is the kind of title you come up with after you give up any creative effort and resolve to use whatever you get after sitting on your keyboard.

[@analogcyberpunkpappypunkco6971]

The road exists and is an exit on the I-15 on the trip from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. It's in the middle of a desert nowhere and gosh knows what might be there or what might go wrong if you tried to find out.

[@wiictvchannel1112]

They fell asleep on the keyboard but just happened to actually type "Road" by accident.

[@RoscoeWasHere]

It's an actual road. I've driven past it a dozen times on my way to Vegas.

[@lanterns_glow]

There was no effort.

[@JHenry-nz7hy]

No, that's what happens when someone else is releasing a similarly named property at the same time, and you need to change it at the last minute

[@NJGuy1973]

If this film had simply complied with SAG, it wouldn't have gotten a U.S. theatrical release at all. It would have gone straight to overseas and DVD and no one would be talking about it. By failing spectacularly, they ended up with more publicity. Well played.

[@mikesilva3868]

The Sorcerer: Your attention, my kilowatt cuties! Ali Baba: A special fragrance, designed especially for you! Metamorphosis Formula No. 9! Dyna-Girl: Electra-close! But not close enough! Sid and marty Kroft huge fan of their shows 😊

[@loturzelrestaurant]

@@mikesilva3868 OH HOW I WISHED Cynical Reviews would rip apart Kent Hovind and/or Onison with his mesmerizing voice and his Epic 'Cynical' Way that bought him the Username in the first place! I know he only does Movie-Reviews, but i wished he divserify his content just a little bit and stretch his Arms just a bit into that Direction.

[@mikesilva3868]

@@loturzelrestaurant agreed 😊

[@kaylasmith1495]

The fact that this video already has one dislike and it was posted two minutes ago means you’re living in someone’s head rent free

[@elitereptilian200]

Almost every single youtuber have those hate subs, they only sub to get notifications of videos from them just to dislike the videos without watching them.. I have never understood that, what kind of person does that?

[@azuregriffin1116]

@@elitereptilian200 the kind of person who lets people live in their head rent free

[@CynicalReviews]

There are some people who subscribe to me just to dislike me videos. And that's really sad.

[@genericname2747]

The dislikes are at 69.

[@Y0uKnowMyName]

Lmao. "Rent free" as if thats a really sick burn.

[@LordAini]

"I will paint them eventually" You won't. Your pile of shame will get larger and larger, staring at you with their base coated empty eyes with disgust, as you bring more and more new minis. Accept it, and learn how to live with the shame.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

OH HOW I WISHED Cynical Reviews would rip apart Kent Hovind and/or Onison with his mesmerizing voice and his Epic 'Cynical' Way that bought him the Username in the first place!

[@starmanda88]

I feel personally attacked

[@Howlrunner82]

We need a title for the movie... Cat walks over the Keyboard YES THATS PERFECT

[@thegrimpeeper8865]

Haha, this is the best comment and true

[@analogcyberpunkpappypunkco6971]

@@thegrimpeeper8865 It's a real exit on the I-15 in the California desert.

[@amandatidey5751]

Don't you mean it's "purr-fect"..I'll see myself out

[@babyblue_22]

Man, hearing that one line from Fallout: New Vegas makes me want to play it again so much....I was doing my first playthrough of the game back in late 2019 when my old laptop finally quit on me. I miss it... both the game AND my laptop. I hadn't even found Benny yet, for crying out loud! 😢

[@bloodraven7237]

I was just playing it an hour ago

[@b3nl555]

Holy shit same thing happened to me last year. I didn't know much about computers so whenever FNV got stuck on the loading screen, I'd always force reboot my old shitty laptop since nothing else worked. It ended up breaking it so I had to borrow my mom's until this year when I got a new one

[@Sin_Thetic]

It still is my favorite fallout game of all time. I will never forget finding Benny, seducing him and then killing him immediatley after sex. It warms my heart to this day...

[@babyblue_22]

@@b3nl555 Man that sucks! But for me, performance-wise my laptop ran the game great, up until the end. It actually wasn't a hardware or software or performance issue that took down my poor laptop, it was the plug in to charge it that broke...the charging port? Idk exactly what you call it, but the part where you plug in the charger just stopped working one day. I took it in to see if I could get that part fixed or replaced, but was told it would cost more to fix than the laptop was worth. So ends the story of Ol' Faithful and my journey exploring the Mojave Wasteland... 🥺

[@babyblue_22]

@@Sin_Thetic Ooo nice tactics! 👌 I hadn't yet decided on my own way to take Benny down before my laptop quit on me, but your way would've been a definite possibility, since I was playing as a girl in my playthrough as well 😉

[@Majima_Nowhere]

Calling 40k a "plastic crack problem" is probably the most accurate way to describe it that I've heard.

[@cjmarion6350]

me and my dad call mtg cardboard crack

[@ddjsoyenby]

we all have dangerous unhealthy addictions that are slowly k1ll1ng us from the inside out cynical like my gacha game addiction.

[@shiranuiprestonsaga8867]

@@cjmarion6350 nah man Trading card Games are Card board Meth

[@Skarwind]

You know you're in a bad spot when you think you only have 1 army but it turns out to be 7.

[@StationaryBeggar]

I litterally just bought a start collecting blood angels box off ebay like an hour ago. Look... You cant get the blood angels tac squad anymore ok.

[@waltercomunello121]

well I mean, the title of "worst grossing movie of all time" _needed_ a winner. there's no denying that Zyzzyx found its place in history. also I absolutely loved that Raycon ad, proof that even the most annoying things can be fashioned in such a way that viewers are still entertained. and the outro was legendary. (I almost expected a burp at the very end.)

[@airplanes_aren.t_real]

Amen, whatever raycon is paying him ain't enough, he actually makes ads I can honestly watch through

[@FFSxFGR]

I see a Berserk reference, I smash the like button. RIP Miura

[@mask938]

Rest In Peace, Kentaro Miura. He shall be sorely missed.

[@TallicaMan1986]

Rest in Peace Miura.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

OH HOW I WISHED Cynical Reviews would rip apart Kent Hovind and/or Onison with his mesmerizing voice and his Epic 'Cynical' Way that bought him the Username in the first place! I know he only does Movie-Reviews, but i wished he divserify his content just a little bit and stretch his Arms just a bit into that Direction.

[@chanimalice3874]

My dad has the opposite addiction to you, he buys them all and paints them, but never plays the game... Mostly because he is a pretty phenomenal artist and lives in a small country town in Western Australia where nobody even knows that the MCU are based on comic books, let alone hearing of Warhammer. Poor nerdy dad. Anyway, great video as usual! Your ads are actually watchable too!

[@highadmiraljt5853]

It’s like a twilight zone episode

[@aliciagreen5411]

You should set him up with a channel where he can share his painting

[@chanimalice3874]

@@aliciagreen5411 he's on KZbin as much as I am and capable of setting up his own channel :) (also, I live on the other side of Australia, so a bit difficult to help :-P ) but he's too busy to make a channel right now. Maybe when my mum isn't sick anymore, cancer is a bitch.

[@Weezerand...]

Ayy wa represent

[@chanimalice3874]

@@Weezerand... I grew up in WA but moved to Melbourne a couple of years ago... Kinda regretting that for the first time at the moment

[@visassess8607]

Katherine Heigl didn't really talk shit about her coworkers though. She said the movie Knocked Up seemed a little sexist to her but she enjoyed working with the cast and said that her work in Grey's Anatomy didn't deserve an Emmy which didn't seem to be over the writing but her own acting. Both of these instances were misconstrued and she got a reputation for being hard to work with.

[@yetanotherretroreview4476]

Or...she did do those things...

[@luismarioguerrerosanchez4747]

By this point it should be clear that when an actress is called "difficult to work with" means that she didn't want to sleep with the producers. It fucking sucks, because she's a decent actor, didn't deserve all the backlash she got from those asshole bigots.

[@V_for_Vovin]

She was good in Knocked Up. Unfortunately she co-starred with Seth Rogen, who turned into a real prick who thought too highly of himself, especially considering he really only played the same character in every movie (because he can't actually act). Even his character in Donnie Darko showed more range than when he got famous and was in every bro movie.

[@organicstorm]

I vaguely remember her saying *the writing* she had gotten on the season of Grey's she was nominated for was bad, not her acting it. It was insulting to her (former) co-workers. And she definitely did commit a couple of publicity fauxpas, definitely nothing to lose a career over though, so maybe there was stuff about her declining romantic advances WAS happening, but did she ever claim that that's the case? She picked very peculiar movies to star in later that were all borderline misogynistic in hindsight, like the one with Gerard Butler is SO AWFUL it's almost hilarious. So, maybe she really just is bad at picking projects.

[@luismarioguerrerosanchez4747]

@@organicstorm You're partially right, but by the same logic, Seth Rogen also stars (and writes, and directs, and produces) in some godawful comedies and hasn't had his career obliterated in the same scale as Heigl.

[@drank.99]

The most articulate furry has returned

[@keithgamble1293]

For the last damn time. CYNICAL IS NOT A FURRY LOL

[@cinemint]

@@keithgamble1293 nah you are

[@strahinjagov]

@@keithgamble1293 *insert LA Noire Doubt meme here*

[@jakesanchez6621]

He absolutely is.

[@Oliviabrito2448]

I dont even care about raycons but that sponsor section was unironically great

[@kokosan09]

honestly, they lost me at Heigel's character being together with smugded toast-face. I can only suspend my disbelief so much! love the outro 👌

[@wiictvchannel1112]

Which one is toast-face? lol

[@kokosan09]

@@wiictvchannel1112 Grillo's character 😅

[@wiictvchannel1112]

@@kokosan09 Ah, yeah I see it now XD

[@ralphwiggum1982]

I just wonder what made her take this role not saying she’s some great actress or anything but considering how big she was once upon a time an was on a hit tv series had back to back movie roles an ended up doing this shit

[@Zett76]

On the plus side, it reminded my pre-alzheimer brain of that five minutes HEIGEL has been a hollywood star. Crazy times.

[@verylostdoommarauder]

What's more interesting is what Zyzzyx road in real life actually is. It's an oddity off the interstate between LA and Las Vegas, people occasionally take pictures in front of the sign because of the odd name. Back in the day, there was this guy named Curtis Springer who was basically a snake oil salesman. He had this brand, Zyzzyx, chosen because it was only made of the last 3 letters of the alphabet. He built a mineral springs resort and a road to it out in the desert, and named both Zyzzyx. Adam the Woo made a video exploring it back in the day.

[@JimmyMon666]

the road sign gets stolen often, I'm not even sure it's there anymore.

[@personamithulu]

My dad jokes about it whenever traveling to Utah

[@ConernicusRex]

You misspelling it over and over the same way the movie did is gonna give me a fucking aneurysm. It's Zzyzx. Aka Soda Springs.

[@Dlúith]

30 quid is quite the paradoxically impressive box office

[@daemonspudguy]

Nope, actually less than that since the Pound is worth more than the Dollar.

[@JokeHatesItHere]

IT's actually 21.79 pounds and 30 USD

[@danderson8431]

I worked with Tom on an indie in Texas. No joke, he was delayed in coming to our set because of a drug offense too. The producer had to pull some strings to get him out so that he could film his scenes.

[@adict126]

Mad respect for that amazing performance of Stone Sour's song at the end

[@geardog24]

2:31 Rambo but with a dog. I'd watch the hell out of that.

[@smadcore]

Ram-Bone

[@bentarbbronze6048]

@@smadcore That sounds like a porn parody.

[@Horrormaster13]

This is the first time that I've heard of this movie. Didn't even know that it exists.

[@Hollyclown]

It actually caught me off guard how short the video was. I’vebeen getting so used to Longman videos that when i looked at the remaining time, it was almost over already.

[@Derek_Smallshorts]

This was actually a really common release strategy in the UK back in the Evolution Scheme tax shelter days. Only at least then, the film makers would make a couple of hundred quid theatrical and get a massive tax break. They only released in one cinema for a week just to qualify for the tax rebate. For some reason, half the time they were Danny Dyer movies.

[@moomyung9231]

Raycon better be shelling out since Cynical is putting such work into his ads for them.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

OH HOW I WISHED Cynical Reviews would rip apart Kent Hovind and/or Onison with his mesmerizing voice and his Epic 'Cynical' Way that bought him the Username in the first place! I know he only does Movie-Reviews, but i wished he divserify his content just a little bit and stretch his Arms just a bit into that Direction.

[@oneinathousand2156]

This and Breen’s early movies make me feel like I could take a small group of people out to the Mojave Desert and make a movie, it would be just about as good.

[@Laurachannelfave]

Don't say that, I'm sure it'll turn out WAY BETTER than this garbage 😒

[@kgbofficer5629]

Well that's what Steven Spielberg did and look at him now

[@StationaryBeggar]

If you leave them out there you can save a whole lot on casting budget as well.

[@leadingauctions8440]

His style has evolved a lot without losing that original magic.

[@milktea6676]

This movie is cheaper then my bank account

[@Blutteufel]

It clearly still made more money than your parents wasted on your education...

[@bigbawlzlebowski8886]

@@Blutteufel says the loser with a kek flag.

[@kylarking]

Dude. You are the first youtuber to make one of those little ads entertaining. And the first to make me want to buy them

[@JulioBigN]

Come on, the guy giving the staff member and her boyfriend their money back was actually wholesome 👍

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

From a bad Disney Adult comedy that somehow got on to HBOMax to one of Katherine Heigl's most obscure and least profitable movie... Cynical reviews is on a roll!

[@RowanneIris]

I've seen numerous Raycon ads. Yours are the best by far, good sir. =)

[@brettvv7475]

Internet Etiquette makes the best Raycon ads.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@brettvv7475 I was gonna say this!

[@marcop8875]

Raycons suck, they broke after a few usages while my much cheaper amazon ones still work after 2 years 💩💩💩💩💩

[@RowanneIris]

@@marcop8875 That's unfortunate. I've never really bothered with wireless headphones due to sound quality.

[@Lillian2167]

That rendition of Stone Sour's Zzyzx Rd at the end was quite something. I'm surprised I still recognised the song X''D

[@sillywombat]

Thats why im here! I like this channel but i love that song actually!

[@blaize836]

I came to the comments to see if anyone has mentioned the song yet 😅

[@theshinyqueen6013]

That Raycon ad was absolutely brilliant.

[@RandomRyan]

Agreed

[@alexgrant7514]

Zyzzyx sounds like the name of Mr Myztlypix's dumber cousin

[@ignorant1126]

1:56 "Yeah! Let's make our own movie! With blackjack! And hookers!" I'm subscribing just for that reference

[@Dreadjaws]

"Unless your movie is Cuties, there really is no such thing as bad publicity" Ghostbusters 2016 would like a word with you.

[@Danielss250]

Dude, that Ad break was top tier material, Internet historian levels I think.

[@Dov_Skywnkr]

That stone sour cover brought a tear to my eye dude. so good 😢.

[@pancarialice]

the fact that two, or maybe three people at most saw this in a theater is fucking hysterical to me

[@organicstorm]

Apparently movie tickets were 5 each in "box office" (I have no clue about that terminology, if that means that how much they get after theater share or what people paid), but anyway, I deduce from the "director refunded the tickets for the make-up artist who went to see it with her friend" making it actually just 20 that SIX people saw this in theater. 😅

[@Creepyeepy]

Highkey just saw Zzyzx Rd n thought of the song immediately I'm so glad you referenced that version at the end it killed me.

[@sillywombat]

Same here! You have good taste!

[@adhirg]

I’ve been on Zzyzx Road before. the real one. I had to drive it for certain trips I made. I think I heard about this but never actually cared to see it lol.

[@somedudefromTX]

Had I only know at the time, I could've been a part of history as the 7th person to see this movie in the Highland Park cinema. But I didn't learn about the movie until after I had moved to LA years later, and was surprised to learn about the connection to my hometown of Dallas. Great work, as always!

[@LoopingTriangle]

With a name like Zyzzyx, thats no surprise. This is so fascinating hah

[@AssassinGlasgow]

Your David Attenborough impression was spot on, I was so convinced he was narrating!

[@armythecat]

This ad time gave me a LOT of Internet Historian vibes (not complaining at all, please continue)

[@cinemint]

"Nature. .....What IS nature? Is it this?"

[@lukehauser1182]

Love the ad! 5:00

[@ancientsociety79]

The 40K joke was the best part of this review and (probably) more entertaining than this entire movie

[@Aggronize]

I drive past this road every time i go to vegas. i always ask "where...where does it GO?" I can't believe they made a movie of it.

[@Da_Dingus]

Not gonna lie, I usually skip past video sponsorships. But you actually made yours so different and entertaining that I sat through the whole ad.

[@tonytoes0]

Now I want a movie where a military dog retires and saves his new family from terrorists

[@ComradeIskandr]

Man, I heard about this movie a long time ago. I'm glad someone finally actually reviewed it

[@MattnessLP]

Despite being a Patron, I like to watch the public versions of the videos as well, just for the creative sponsor breaks. Thanks for making these actually fun, instead of just reading off a script (like 90% of Raycon and RAID sponsor breaks you see)

[@cellytron]

I rewatched “I didn’t even see him! He came outta NOWHERE” about 12 times in a row and nearly spilled my cereal laughing, so thank you for that Edit: 13:26

[@rMrHL]

i love how CJ edition is getting better every video, good job!

[@redhunter]

Glad you liked the editing. I put quite a lot of effort into that.

[@rMrHL]

@@redhunter wait you are the editor?

[@redhunter]

@@rMrHL Maybe ;P

[@shubhambhosale4751]

this is the best sponsorship segment I've ever seen... :)

[@sacredsin7282]

When my family used to live in Las Vegas and I was a competitive figure skater, we’d head to competitions in California and take Zzyzx Road on the way there. My mom thought it was such a unique name that when we got a Siamese kitten, she decided to name him Zzyzx. That sweet boy lived for twenty years, and he died just last year. I miss him terribly. I had no fucking clue that TWO movies used this road and it’s name.

[@WolfHreda]

Living in the Mojave myself, I'm astounded someone like Katherine Heigl even survived.

[@jackien9852]

I had no idea how to pronounce Zyzzyx. I used to live in Las Vegas and had to drive past the sign everytime I went home to SoCal. We always just said "Zai-zicks"

[@Distroyer22222]

Beginning is just awesome XD That is so me everytime I tried to search it.

[@quinnzykir]

Thanks!

[@KingGlizz]

This movie made less than I get from my stimulus check

[@WugWug_The_Ugly]

Looking at all the unpainted miniatures then glancing at my 150+ unpainted tyranid models: "I can't judge."

[@tarazard1457]

As a Californian who visited Zzyzx for geo field trips when I was in college, its pronounced ZI- ziks and they literally named it that because thet wanted it to catch peoples eye when driving hwy 15 on the way to Los Vegas. There is some great geology out there, but not much else.

[@kimberlyoldschool]

It strikes me as the type of place where they film movies like “Eegah” and, well, this one.

[@sugarbaby1974]

I genuinely don't have a problem with sponsored content when it's presented in an entertaining way. I'm from the "before cable" days (sob!) and get a form of frustration PTSD when creators just read out their sponsor script - it's boring AF and makes me click right off the video, even when I really wanna watch it. You, my friend, are one of the two BEST sponsored-content creators out there (tied with Drew Gooden), in that you make every effort to make your advertisement time be just as (if not more so) entertaining as your usual content. I freaking love your ads - how often can someone say that?? :D

[@ideletemyinbox]

FOR THE EMPEROR!!!!! I knew we'd be friends Also, that's the first time I've sat through sponsor content on any platform, ever. Well played, citizen.

[@jakenguyen4253]

It says alot about a movie when a sponsored ad is half the length of the actual review for that movie

[@dilloncrowe1018]

Man, that's sad to hear about Tom Sizemore, kinda reminds me of Meat Loaf going from performing at big stadiums across the world in the late 70s and early 80s, to West Coast clubs and bars in the late 80s, before his comeback with "Bat Out Of Hell II". Except he didn't fade because of drugs or police, he faded because most of his 80s albums kinda sucked... Lol

[@Ghidorah96]

Didn’t expect a new Vegas reference, but here we go.

[@lapsedgoth]

Everyone says they'll paint their minis...PAINT YOUR MINIS!!! Standard or silly colors, doesn't matter. They deserve to be painted!!

[@ladystoneheart8155]

That’s the best Raycon ad ever, which is depressingly high praise. Out of the hundreds I’ve been presented with, I actually paid attention to your Raycon ad. I’m still not getting them because I don’t like sticking things in my ear, but it’s impressive that you made a KZbin ad that I didn’t want to skip. Bravo

[@colingznetworkplus4618]

Buying plastic figures is not a problem, unless you spend 95% of your money on it!

[@joshhale9355]

That one theater it played at in Dallas was like 10 minutes from when I was living back then. Small world

[@chrisbutler1668]

The only man who can be compared to Neil Breen, is Breen himself.

[@lyokianhitchhiker]

What if his forgotten brother, Wallace?

[@garrick3727]

The odd thing about this movie, is that had it been slightly more competent in all areas it could have been quite well received. And I don't mean had it been made by people who know what they are doing, because that could be true of most bad movies. I just mean, it wasn't a terrible concept, and, say, a competent student director could have got decent mileage out of it.

[@TheScottchristophers]

Have you done John Travolta’s “Fanatic” yet? It also grossed a laughable amount and was directed by Fred Durst

[@thenamelessghuleh]

Durst just couldn’t leave it to stinking up the music scene for a few years and fading into well-deserved obscurity, could he? Although, with how poorly “Fanatic” did, at least he may not have another chance to funk up another movie. I’ve been waiting for Empress Theresa to be dethroned as the worst ego project ever written. Maybe he can take a crack at that next?

[@starmanda88]

That would be the perfect project for him to pick apart 💀 It’s really a one of a kind movie.

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

Ha! Brad Jones, you’re cameos keep getting more and more outrageous!

[@jj68]

Acting is such a weird profession...Lots think they can, many can't and some should run very fast when a camera gets pointed their way! (Unless you are Neil Breen, you sir are a diamond in the rough)

[@freyajane1212]

can we all take a sec to appreciate how great that ad was though 😂

[@IndiaAnderson]

MAKE THE WARHAMMER VERSION, OH MY GAWD THAT WOULD BE **HILARIOUS***!🤣🤣🤣

[@sachinraghavan4556]

I'd be so damn depressed if I made something and it only made a bloody 30 dollars.

[@shononoyeetus8866]

in fairness thats still more than my net worth

[@stef5853]

I think I've figured out the name of the movie: zyzzex is supposed to be pronounced 'seasick' as a foreshadowing of the vomiting the viewer is gonna' suffer though because of all the bad acting and bad jump scares. Really considerete now that I think about it

[@googamp32]

You've been having WAY too much fun with these Raycon ads to continue to call yourself "Cynical".

[@stofopdenaald132]

Props for making the advert amusing 👌

[@bananajewell8846]

How’s the stay in the Mii channel going for you Edit: Oh My God that’s a lot of cats

[@robertschoenemann9815]

Loved your recitation at the end - I think it was a song, right? Great job!

[@jefftaylor3109]

Bruh, you haven’t given us Cynical Reviews of 40k stuff? Really?

[@TheInternetHelpdeskPlays]

I'm about halfway through the review and I'm placing a bet that both the male characters are the same person, a la fight club.

[@avastoyboxandarcade]

I wish more people would narrate their sponsorships like wildlife documentaries.

[@Ohcanada28]

I remember passing this road on my way to LA. Never knew they made a movie out of it till now. Never knew how to pronounce its name.

[@GojiraRising]

Katherine Heigl's bombed career is more entertaining than her acting.

[@VixxKong2]

What happened?

[@organicstorm]

@@VixxKong2 she got a reputation of "being difficult to work with", nobody is quite sure why, but she gave a couple of interviews and made statements about former projects that "people in the industry" apparently didn't appreciate. I only remember reading about her withdrawing from the Emmy nomination after she got entered for her work on Grey's anatomy and she basically trash talked the writing and said it didn't deserve to be considered for an Emmy, which granted, was very accurate, but is not acceptable to publicly state about a (former?) project you worked on, except if you're Robert Pattinson, apparently. And she also disavowed that Seth Rogen movie she was staring in. Or whatever 😅

[@VixxKong2]

@@organicstorm Oh ok, so basically she was speaking the truth and Hollywood didn't like that lol

[@organicstorm]

@@VixxKong2 not sure .. I don't know how much freedom she has/had to pick her movies/roles, but she worked on several low-brow and/or misogynistic projects (IMO) of her own volition and never talked bad about those projects, and ime, it's never simply "OKAY" to publicly say disparaging things about your former employer and coworkers, even outside Hollywood. Like, yes, you CAN say stuff and be honest about work experiences, but you also can't expect to get job offers from the *same (group of) people* afterwards. I meant to say, essentially, she is just another hypocrite to me, as she denounced a badly received project for being misogynistic, basically, but kept working on projects where she is playing a bad stereotype of a woman, over and over, without displaying the same awareness.

[@VixxKong2]

@@organicstorm Well yeah, she's an hypocrite like everyone in Hollywood. But at least she had the balls to quit early, so I respect her more than someone like Scarlett Johansson that's gonna start complaining after making big money from the system she's denouncing now.

[@melindaking8711]

Again - I like the quirky ads, and your content in general, keep being awesome

[@reaganwhittle9175]

Weirdest and most likely hard to pronounce title for a movie ever 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@dracodracarys2339]

thank you for making ads fun 90s kids can recall when we used to love ads because there was no pause button and ads were the chance to pee without missing anything

[@zackleburg7429]

Pention for him to actually remake this in his collection